The way to a mother's heart goes through her love for her child

The devout, serious atmosphere of the ceremony vanished only minutes after its end. After the old traditions had been served justice and the newly designated had been congratulated on their new titles and wished well for their future, everyone was in the mood for a celebration. Together they prepared the buffet with all the delicacies Sabana and Nerea had prepared yesterday, tables and chairs were brought and some space for a dance floor in the garden was reserved. I wouldn't have believed it, especially not during the ceremony, but the Assassins of Great Inagua knew how to start a celebration out of nowhere. And what a celebration it was. Everyone was in their best mood. There was laughter, chatting, music, food and dance. The air was vibrating with energy and joy. It felt like we were on the pulsating lifeline of the island and I enjoyed it to the fullest. I rarely had been witness to a life-affirming celebration like this. Not even in Davenport I had felt like this, which wasn't supposed to mean our celebrations there weren't beautiful. They were, but this one was so different.

I was sure that it must have something to do with most of the people present's heritage. They seemed to have fire in their veins because there was no need for alcohol to make the first leave the table for the dance floor and animate it with dances I had never seen before. Seemingly without structure, rules or posture, they whirled around. Women and men alike in the light of the surrounding torched, looked like mystical creatures who wanted to cast a spell, only through the movement of their bodies. But it didn't appear off-putting but rather fascinating.

I felt intoxicated by this lively atmosphere and didn't know where to look while I followed Nerea through the garden, Emily in my arms. They had built up a game near the watermill and she thought that my daughter and I had to test our luck with it. Especially for Emily, this activity came right on cue. Until now she had watched the people around her just as fascinated as me, but in the end, we had only sat there and she would have gotten bored and grumpy. So we both had something to do and I didn't have to worry to spend this evening with a whining toddler while everyone around us was in their best mood. No matter how much you loved your child, everyone could go without it with thanks.

The game, Nerea showed us, was a quite simple challenge of skills. Several buckets had been scattered in and between the trees and the goal was to haul three coconuts into said buckets. The harder they were to hit, the more points you got and whoever gained the most points was the winner. Nerea collected all hollowed balls for us and put them in front of Emily in the grass, who picked one up and felt the hairy surface fascinated.

"You have to throw it into a bucket," I explained to her with a smirk and kneeled beside Emily in the grass to put my arms around her and my hands on hers. "Shall we try together?"

She glanced at me over her shoulder with big eyes, grinned widely and nodded, although I wasn't sure if she had understood. But she remained still when I slightly turned her in the direction of the nearest bucket, aimed and threw the coconut with her together. With wide eyes, Emily watched it flying through the air and landing inside the bucket.

"Strike!" I cheered and Emily laughed when I raised her arms over her head in a victory pose.

"Again?" I asked grinning and Emily nodded while bending down for the next coconut.

"Again! Again!"

Laughing about her enthusiasm I grabbed her hands with mine again and together we aimed for one of the hanging buckets. I counted to three and Emily even did a little jump this time. Unfortunately, it tampered with the flight path of the coconut and it just dropped back to the ground, close underneath the bucket.

"Oh," was Emily's disappointed comment but I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's fine. We still have one last try." I picked up the next coconut, but my daughter decided that she didn't like the rules of the game. Unbothered she hurried on her tiny legs to the coconut in the grass, picked it up, stretched her arms over her head and tried to drop the coconut into the bucket groaning. But unfortunately, she was too small and again the nut landed in the grass.

"But little angel, we have to throw them," I called laughing but Emily willingly overheard my objection. Why should things be made more complicated than necessary? With a determined expression on her face, she picked up the stubborn nut once more, but this time she carried it to a bucket on the ground and dropped it inside.

"Ike!" she called out, stretched her arms over her head and turned to me beaming, who kneeled laughing in the grass, shaking my head. This was certainly not how you played this game, but Emily had fun and seemed to be very proud of herself as she came running to me to receive her reward kiss.

"You did amazing, my angel. But…what are you doing?"

Emily had picked up the final coconut and ran off again. It seemed like she really enjoyed her version of this game and I was pretty helpless as I gave Nerea an apologetic look. But she seemed amused by Emily who finally managed to drop the coconut in the lowest hanging bucket. Again she threw her hands in the air and came back to me, to get her well-deserved praise. Her laughter was music in my ears as I pulled her into my arms, cuddled and kissed her. How much I loved this little bundle of energy. How much she was giving me with her own joy of life.

"I would say, the little princessa won." Nerea kneeled in the grass beside us with a grin, a flower wreath in her hands that was immediately admired by Emily with big, shining eyes. "It is too big for your little head, but I think it will still suit you perfectly."

Nerea carefully slid the wreath over Emily's head so that she wore it like a scented necklace. The brown eyes got even bigger and the blossoms were felt by curious fingers. I doubted that they would survive the night but it was still something special for my daughter who could hardly turn her eyes away from her new accessory, while we walked hand in hand through the garden. Looking for new mischief. I kept looking around for Connor, too, who I had seen occasionally in conversation with other Assassins. Probably they all wanted to know, how the new Mentor of the North American Brotherhood imagined the future. I wasn't even sure if Connor had actual plans and if so, I would be interested in hearing them, too.

"Let us dance!" Nerea's voice made me turn my attention back to the path and so I realized that we were practically on the dancefloor, surrounded by dancers moving to the wild drum music. I would have never dared to join them alone. Their way of dancing seemed too foreign to me, just like the music that didn't sound like music at all in my ears. But when Nerea grabbed the other hand of my daughter and carefully pulled her along, I had no other choice but to follow, too. At first, Emily didn't seem to enjoy the commotion on the dance floor and I was also worried she could get overlooked and trampled, so I picked her up. There she felt much better and laughed at me once more when I began to move to the rhythm of the drums. I rocked back and forth and spinned around and although I felt ridiculous initially because I had never felt more unrhythmical in my life, I soon started to enjoy myself. But it didn't take long for Emily to start squirming in my arms. The corners of her mouth twisted in the opposite direction and instead of laughing, she kept uttering a quiet whine. She had enough of it and if I wasn't mistaken, she had gotten tired as well. I couldn't see Nerea anywhere, who had eventually moved away from us so we left the dancefloor and I walked straight into the villa. With Consuela's permission, I had built a small camp for Emily in her study. I couldn't possibly leave her alone in the guest house and go back to the garden to celebrate. The danger, that she could leave the room and the house and came too close to the cliffs, was too big and I couldn't lock her in for hours either. Like this, she was close by and I could enjoy the night and check on her regularly. Still, I waited until she had fallen asleep, before I left the study, closed the door behind me and returned to the festivities.

I stopped on the terrace, not knowing what to do now but again it was Nerea, who took the decision upon herself. She and another young woman appeared out of nowhere, grabbed my hands and pulled me along. I let them infect me with their bright laughter until I realized that we returned to the dancefloor and I started to feel uneasy. With Emily, I had already felt out of place but without her, I finally felt like a cow in a chicken coop. While the two women moved to the wild music of the drums that was joined by incomprehensive singing, I stood as stiff as a poker and didn't know what to do with myself.

"Dance!" Nerea shouted and grabbed my hands as if her movements could transition from her body to mine. But that I didn't know what to do wasn't my only problem. It was the "How". I could dance. Waltz and I really enjoyed the Polka, but they were classic dances with a simple structure you had to follow. But the islanders' dance was completely different. It didn't seem to have any structure. Their movements were wild, they used their whole bodies, swayed their hips and bent like young willows in the wind, which would be considered obscene in other societies. Carried by the music whose rhythm didn't get into my head.

"Stop thinking!" Nerea had come closer as I tried to explain my problem to her and she lifted my arms a bit over my head so that I felt the warm evening breeze brushing through my fingers. "You have to feel it. Just listen to the music and move however you want. There is no right or wrong. Only freedom."

That was easier said than done. When I hesitantly started to move, I felt clumsy and stiff. I didn't feel the lightness I used to associate with dancing but didn't give up. Although it was difficult, I tried to follow Nerea's advice. I closed my eyes and tried to think of nothing else but the music, which - the longer I listened to it - slowly started to reveal its rhythm to me. My feet, which I had stepped on one spot like a sailor trying to keep his balance on the sea, found a regular beat that moved up to my hips and finally through my whole body. Shortly, a part of my mind warned me that what I did was inappropriate but the other part didn't know why I should care. It felt good. I enjoyed following the music without thinking about it and I wasn't alone either. When I opened my eyes, the beam on Nerea's face was immediately mirrored in mine and when she performed an elegant spin, I followed her example. One spin after another until my head was spinning as well and still I didn't get enough.

I just spun around once more as I was suddenly grabbed by the hips mid-movement and fell against a broad manly chest because I lost my balance after the sudden stop. My heart skipped a beat and I was about to cuss out the strange man who had dared to come so close to me. But then I recognised the still unfamiliar colours of Connor's new robes and when I raised my eyes, I looked into his serious face. He seemed almost reprimanding, which confused me. Just like his question.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm dancing," was my simple and natural answer, which was quite incomprehensive because of my laboured breathing. During the dance, I had hardly noticed how exhausting it was and how hot I got. Sweat had formed on my forehead and was wiped away by an erratic movement of my hand, which Connor's eyes followed under furrowed brows.

"You should rest and not jump around like a fleeing rabbit."

I could hardly hold back the question, if this comparison was referring to my dancing. A chuckle left my lips anyway. It was touching that he was so concerned about my pregnancy. But it wasn't necessary.

"Ratonhnhaké:ton, I'm perfectly fine," I assured him but he didn't relax. "This little bit of jumping around won't harm me, nor the baby."

His gaze slid over my whole appearance, maybe looking for the tiniest hint that could prove my words wrong. I was sure he didn't find one and still, he stayed by his objection.

"Please, rest anyway. Sit with me on the terrace."

I sighed. To deny this request was made even harder by the look he gave me. I would have loved to keep dancing, but I nodded and together we left the dancefloor and sat at a free table on the terrace, close to the entrance door.

"Did you bring Emily to bed?" Connor asked and pulled two upside-down and unused cups closer, to fill them with something that looked and smelled like Sabana's homemade lemonade. I nodded.

"She's in Consuela's study. If we are lucky, she will still be asleep when we bring her to our room. She was very exhausted."

"It was an exciting evening." Connor pushed one of the cups to me and raised his own to his lips, to take some sips of the lemonade. I followed his example and enjoyed the cool sweetness on my tongue that refreshed my mind and body. Now I didn't find it so bad to come to rest after the dancing. Actually, I was glad about finally having the chance to speak with Connor. Except for Emily's little escape during the ceremony, the last time had been in our room. While Connor had put on his robes and weapons. He was still wearing them but had taken off his hood so that I could look into his candlelit face.

"How are you?" I asked him and a smirk formed on my lips. "Mentor."

"Not any different." Connor shrugged his shoulders. "Why should I? I am still the same person."

I should have known that he would say that. When he had told me that he was going to be officially designated Mentor, he had said that the ceremony was only a formality. He had always done the work of a Mentor, maybe not to the extent he had been empowered to tonight.

"You still haven't told me what you are planning. Except for bringing the Assassins back to Davenport," I said and watched him twisting the cup between his hands. He kept staring at the cloudy surface of the lemonade and now cocked his head, his lips twisted in a clueless expression.

"I cannot say it for sure," he said. "I cannot make any plans until I have spoken to the others, anyway. Davenport is my land, but they are the ones who made it the place it is today. I will not do anything without their permission."

This answer surprised me. I had honestly never thought about the homesteaders whenever thinking about the future of the Assassins. Maybe because it seemed so natural that Davenport was going to be a home for the Brotherhood again, that it seemed impossible that there could be any obstacles. At the same time, I realized, that many of our friends didn't know for certain, what Connor did. Of course, they could guess it because someone with his weapons and robes certainly was no merchant. But they didn't know the full extent of his calling and maybe they should be given credit for never asking. They trusted Connor and it was this trust he gave them in return. Also while including them in his decisions. A grand gesture.

"There will be a lot of change," Connor explained but it seemed like he was rather talking to himself. "We will need more space. More houses, more fields to provide for everyone. I have not thought through even half of it, yet, but it will affect the whole homestead and we will have to work together. I want everyone to be aware of it before I start any of these changes."

"I am sure that they will all support you." I reached out my hands and placed them over his still holding the cup. "They trust and appreciate you. There will be no one who will not understand how much these changes mean to you. What they would have meant to Achilles." I smiled when Connor raised his eyes with my last words. "This is his legacy and you will make it happen. I'm certain of it."

The corners of Connor's lips rose with my words and he pulled his hands away from the cup, to gently grab the tips of my fingers still resting on them.

"We will depart soon," he said. "Probably in the next week."

"So soon?" I asked surprised. "Is the Aquila ready?"

He nodded. The repairs were as good as done and today's ceremony had been the last thing he had to do here. We were ready to return home and the mere thought made me feel great joy and relief. Of course, I was going to miss these people and this paradise, but I missed our home even more, especially since I knew I was pregnant. The local climate was still troubling me, I couldn't deny it and the pregnancy didn't make it any better. I was sure that I was going to feel better at home and I was relieved to know that there was someone I could turn to if there should be any problems with the pregnancy. Dr. White as a doctor, but mostly Diana as a midwife, a friend and especially a fellow woman and mother. Oh, I was looking forward to telling our friends about the news.

About a week later, the day had come. Our things were packed, and loaded on the Aquila and the ship itself was stocked with supplies and fresh water. It looked as good as new as it anchored in Great Inagua's little harbour, waiting to set sail. The preparations for our departure had been quick but not without issues. Whenever we had thought to be ready, something had happened. Missing supplies, missing crew members, who were often found in the brothel, a tiny hole that had been missed and Assassins who had been asking for Connor's help in smaller missions. He didn't tell me much, but it seemed like the Templars were spreading their influence in the Caribbean and the Brotherhood was busy stopping them. But in the end, they were like gardeners in their fight against weeds. You couldn't stop it forever and still, I didn't say anything, when Connor answered his Brothers' requests. Although it annoyed me. The constant delay brought me from one emotional low to the next because as much as I had started to love this island, I wanted to get home. But the weather was conspiring against us, too. Now, at the end of July, the rainfall period had finally arrived and it was regularly pouring with rain for several hours at once. The threads of water falling from the sky were sometimes so thick that you could hardly look a few feet ahead. Quiet an unpractical weather for setting sail.

But today all conditions were perfect, at least I thought so until I stood on board the Aquila and watched the crew preparing for our departure. Olivia, who would return to the North with us, helped them, but someone else was missing.

"Caleb, come now, or we will leave without you!" I called out grinning to the boy who stood with Consuela and the other Masters at the pier. Confused, he frowned and questioningly looked past me.

"He will stay here and train with the others for a while before coming home," Connor's voice sounded behind me and its owner got an uncomprehending look.

"Train? For what?"

"For becoming an Assassin," Connor replied as if it was the most natural thing on earth. "He asked Consuela and me to accept him as a Novice and train him and we saw no reason to turn this request down."

"No reason? That's what you decided for yourself?" I could hardly believe what he was trying to say. They had accepted him as a Novice of the Brotherhood? Without me knowing? Caleb had trained with his peers for the last weeks, but that didn't have to mean that he would become an Assassin. Even if he wanted it, it could only be an adolescent phase. A phase supported by Connor and Consuela. "That's out of the question!"

Connor reacted to my short outburst with a motionless face. I had raised my voice so that even the men on deck interrupted their work and looked at us, but I didn't care. I was furious and Connor knew it.

"Well, I did not think of talking to you about it. I have to admit that," he simply said and probably tried to keep my temper from boiling over. "But in the end, it is Caleb's decision alone and he has potential. All of the Masters here have seen it."

Was that supposed to calm me?

"Potential? Potential to risk his life?" I huffed. "The boy is fifteen years old, I doubt he can make such a decision conscientiously. Caleb, come here! You are going to come with us."

I turned to the railing but Caleb still stood with Conusela and shook his head vigorously. "No! I want to stay here and train."

"You won't! I don't allow it."

"You don't have to. It's my decision alone."

Oh, this damn pighead of an adolescent. Grinding my teeth, I told Emily to wait for me at the railing and walked down the plank with brisk steps. Caleb immediately squared his shoulders and raised his chin. It was irritating that he was already taller than me. He had always taken this posture whenever he had known that a scolding was ahead of him and the taller he had gotten, the safer he had felt with it. But not with me.

"Your decision? You are a child!" I blustered as I took a position in front of him. "I know that you're admiring Connor, but I doubt that you're aware of the whole extent of this decision."

"I'm not a child!" he shouted and stamped his foot like a real adult. "I know very well what I'm doing!"

I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to contain my anger and lack of understanding for so much defiance. To argue with Caleb wouldn't do anything. I wanted him to come with us after all. I wanted him to understand that I was worried for him and about his...decision. He had experienced what it could cost to be an Assassin. His grandfather and last living family member had been killed by Templars, he had seen the injuries Connor had suffered and how much his life as an Assassin dictated our life as a family. He couldn't have put serious thought into his decision.

"Caleb, please," I started carefully and much more conciliatory. "Get your things, come back home with us and forget about this nonsense."

"I won't. I will stay here." Caleb sounded anything but conciliatory. His expression was dark, and hard and I knew that this argument had lost any sense.

"Lillian, the boy made a decision. We respect free will, no matter if it is a child's or an old man's."

I looked at the Mentor beside Caleb, who now placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. I wasn't sure if her support for Caleb was supposed to be calming this situation. It didn't feel like it to me. I was totally aware that the Assassins respected Caleb's wish because he was following his so-called "free will". I had nothing against the Brotherhood's ambitions in protecting the freedom of mankind and supported it even. I would always stand behind Connor, but I would never identify myself with the Brotherhood because of it. Too often, I had to fear for Connor's life and I didn't want to fear for Caleb's health, too. I wanted to protect him. I wanted to protect him from sacrificing his life for the Brotherhood and that was why this wasn't a matter for them.

"Stay out of this," I said between gritted teeth, trying to sound calm. "Consuela, I respect you and I respect your Brotherhood. But this is about my family and I will not allow you to train Caleb."

"Lillian, please. It is not for you to decide. Give Caleb the chance to find out if the Brotherhood's path is his."

It wasn't Consuela who said this. It was Connor, who had stepped behind me, Emily on his arm, and stabbed my heart with his words. So it wasn't for me to decide? Why was he backstabbing me like this? Did he think I was standing here out of defiance? Just as a matter of principle because I wanted to forbid Caleb to do something?

"I..." My gaze helplessly moved from Connor back to Caleb, hoping that he would change his mind after all. But of course, he didn't. His face grew softer, but when he hugged me, he didn't say what I wanted to hear.

"I will be careful and come back home soon."

I swallowed my uprising tears and just nodded stiffly. Every word would have been pointless and got stuck in my throat anyway. At least I managed to bid a short farewell to Consuela, before turning away and walking back on board and directly into the cabin.

Connor followed me wordlessly and while I gloomily sat down on the chair behind the desk, he brought Emily into the separate sleeping area. I heard how he suggested she could play with her doll until we had talked and when he left her, he even closed the heavy curtain between the cabin and the bed.

"I can't believe you are allowing this," I said when he approached me. Trying to keep my voice as calm as possible, although I wanted to confront Connor with all my incomprehension and disappointment. "You know how demanding this life is and you are allowing Caleb to carry this burden, too?"

"It is no burden if you have faith in what you are doing." Connor's voice was calm, but he couldn't hide his tension, either. He probably didn't want to have this argument at all. I did. Maybe I had to accept that Caleb stayed here for now, but that didn't mean that I would drop this topic just like that. Especially because I felt like Connor had turned his back on me. I had hoped that he would support me and at least try to understand my point.

"So leaving your family behind and risking your life comes easy to you?" No, this time I couldn't hide these feelings and Connor paused visibly when he heard how disappointed I was by his recent statement.

"That…is not what I meant," he said quickly and took a step closer to me. "It is never easy, but the Brotherhood is my purpose."

"By the waterfalls, you said that we are more important to you than the Brotherhood."

"And that is the truth. You know that, but you also know that the Brotherhood is a part of my life and you accepted it. Why can you not accept it with Caleb?"

I stared at my hands that had started playing with the plaids of my skirt. Now I looked up, my eyes full of tears, but also full of anger. "Because I got to know you as an Assassin. You are a grown-up man, but Caleb is still a child! I fear that he doesn't consider this decision."

Connor frowned. "I was younger than him when I joined the Brotherhood and I think you are underestimating him. Caleb matured a lot since we first met him."

"And still I cannot accept this."

"He made his decision and you forget that we are not his parents. You are not his mother, Lillian."

Silence after these words had hit me like a bullet. My eyes wide I stared at Connor, whose expression had entirely hardened and who didn't seem to know what he had just done to me. His words had torn a deep wound straight in my heart. But he didn't notice. The calls of his men from outside made Connor turn away from me and walk to the door, putting on his tricorn.

"I have to get on deck. We are setting sail," he explained and turned to me once more. "Please, Lillian. Try to accept Caleb's decision and support him the way you support me." And with that, he closed the door behind him and left me in complete paralyzation.

His words sounded through my head like a cruel echo, feeding the pain just like it was feeding my reluctance. No, I wasn't Caleb's mother and I had never seen myself in this role. He had lost her too soon and there was nothing and no one who could replace a mother. But even the fact that I was too young to be his mother didn't make me feel for him like a big sister. What I felt for Caleb came very close to what I felt for Emily and the unborn little mite. I loved him, was proud of how far he had come over the last couple of years and I wanted to protect him from all the evil in this world. Was I not allowed to? Did I lose every right because we were not blood-related? Had the years I had taken care of him been for nothing? Had I lied when I had told Caleb that it didn't make any difference to me or Connor if he was our child or not? That for a family, it wasn't relevant, if you were related but that it was only important, what you felt for each other. Back then, when he had feared Emily's birth could push him out of our family. But that had never happened. He was like a big brother to Emily and he loved her like a little sister. We were a family!

I will not leave him here! I will not allow it!

I stood up so abruptly that the chair almost fell over, despite its sturdy build and weight, but even if it had fallen, I wouldn't have cared. I hasted to the door and already had the iron knob in my hand when I heard a muffled thud and then the heartwrenching howl of my daughter, coming from the sleeping area. Looking back on this situation, I was certain that it was the same instinct, that had made me run to the door to drag Caleb on deck by his hair if necessary, that now made me hurry to the heavy curtain, tear it aside and kneel beside Emily. She sat by the foot end of the bed on the floor, holding her head, her doll in her other hand. She had pulled it from under the bed, had straightened up too soon and had hit her head on the wooden frame. Luckily I didn't find any injuries when I pulled her into my lap, rocked her in my arms and breathed soothing kisses on her head, until she calmed down. At this point, we had already left the harbour of Great Inagua.

We were at sea for hours now and during a glance out of the window, I had seen the bay of Havanna disappear in the distance. By now it had started raining again and the thick drops drummed against the windows and the ship walls. They covered the world out there like a veil. I sat by the window for quite some time now and watched them, while Emily merilly played with her doll behind me. She had quickly recovered from her accident and I was glad that she didn't seem to notice that I wasn't well.

The matter with Caleb was still troubling me and when Connor had shortly entered the cabin once, I had hardly been able to look at him. I couldn't accept that he had backstabbed me and it would take a while for me to get over this disappointment.

"Mama, come."

I blinked when I pulled my staring eyes away from the window and turned to Emily, who beamed at me and patted the floor beside her. Her way of asking me to play with her. Right now she was the only one who could bring a smile to my lips and for this reason alone, I didn't want to turn her down. Slowly and ignoring the nausea, that was plaguing me since our departure, I rose from my seat and went to Emily. But I had only taken two steps when a piercing pain shot through my lower belly. I staggered and held on to the tabletop with one hand, gasping while I laid the other on the already noticeable bump of my belly. I stayed like this for a moment, my heart racing, while the pain subsided and only when it was gone, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Whatever this had been, it had scared me to death and not only me. Emily stared at me with wide eyes and only relaxed when I gave her a soft smile and kneeled beside her on the floor.

"It's alright, my little angel. Mama just hurt herself a little."

"Ouch?"

I nodded, still smiling and ran my hand through her black locks. "But it's better now. What do you want to play?"

Emily pushed her doll into my hand and asked me to braid the short, woollen hair. She kneeled in front of me with shining eyes, her hands propped up on my knees and watching every movement of my hand closely, while I followed her wish. Not for long, though. I had only finished one braid when my lower belly contracted painfully again. Stronger than before and it didn't subside. Almost gasping for air panically, I tried to straighten up, but the convulsive pain didn't let me.

"Mama ouch?"

It almost hurt even more to see the fear in the eyes of my daughter, but I couldn't conceal my pain. I had dropped her doll to press both hands against my hard belly as if it would help. Taking a shaking breath, I forced myself to smile and tried to keep my voice calm, when I spoke.

"My angel, do you know where your papa is?" Emily nodded and pointed at the cabin's ceiling, the quarter-deck behind it. Despite all this, I had to chuckle. "Yes, you know your way around here. Could you go outside and call him for me?"

Again she nodded vigorously and had already stood up, to run to the door with her waddling steps. Groaning audibly she stretched to reach the door knob and with a skill that always annoyed me, because she could open every door, she turned it and slipped through the open door. She didn't seem to walk away from it, because I could hear her call for her "Baba" several times before steps and Connor's muffled voice sounded above me.

"Tsiktsinenná:wen, you should be inside in this weather. Go back to your mother."

"But mama belly ouch."

"What did you say?"

"Mama has belly ouch!" Emily seemed audibly irritated by her father's slow wit and had given her voice an effective emphasis. I could hardly hear how Connor ordered Faulkner to take the wheel as his steps already hurried down the staircase. By now the pain had stopped and I carefully stood up, when the door swung open and a drenched Connor entered the cabin. Emily, who had luckily stayed within the dry doorframe, was close behind him.

"What is wrong? You are in pain?" he asked me while crossing the distance between us with a few, wide steps but leaving a wet trace on the floor.

"Two times, quite suddenly. But they are gone," I explained but didn't dare to take my hands from my belly. It didn't escape Connor's notice and the moist leather of his gloves laid carefully over them.

"Do you think there is something wrong with the child?"

"I don't know, but it almost felt like contractions." I bit my shaking lip, not willing to cry while Emily was clinging to her father's coat with fear in her eyes. He seemed helpless, as well, but then a determined expression appeared in his eyes and I felt relieved. When I had asked Emily to call for him, I had known that there was nothing Connor could do against my pain and its cause. But no matter the situation, his presence always gave me a feeling of security and right now I forgot, that I should have been angry and disappointed. With the fear in my heart, that there could be something wrong with our baby, it became futile. I just wanted Connor to be with me and act well-considered while I couldn't.

It didn't bother me that his coat was drenched when he wrapped an arm around me and led me to the bed, where I laid down slowly. Only then he took Emily's hand, led her to the open door and called for Mr. Faulkner while helping the little one into her coat.

"Take Emily under deck to Olivia and tell her to look after her for a while," he asked Faulkner who I couldn't see from my spot. I only saw his hand which was taken by Emily, but Connor wasn't done with his orders. "The men shall set course to Havanna."

Faulkner uttered "Aye, Captain" and Connor closed the door behind him and Emily.

"You want to turn around?" I asked while he took off his wet hat and coat and simply threw them over the nearest seat. "We want to get home."

"Not before a doctor has examined you. I will not take any risks."

"But…" I wasn't even sure what I wanted to say. Again I was seized by a searing pain that took my breath away and made Connor drop to his knees beside the bed, his eyes wide in horror. Talking comfortingly to me, he made me lie down which hardly brought any relief. As stiff as a plank I lay there, tears in my eyes and hoping for the pain to disappear and never come back. Connor stayed by my side and held my icy hands, which I had still pressed against my belly. As if I could stop the mite from leaving us far too soon.

AN: And there we have it: Chapter 100. Thank you so much for all your faves and follows and for still reading this story. A special thanks to MohawkWoman for your regular reviews, that brighten my day. I love reading about your thoughts on the story and how it could progress.

Right now, we are only 22 chapters away from the latest German chapter. As you may have noticed, I'm more into translating right now because I'm struggling with writer's block. I know where I want to go with the story, but I am constantly not satisfied with how I'm realizing these ideas and keep deleting whole chunks of the next chapter. It's frustrating, but I'm sure I will be getting there.

I don't want to stop translating, because it keeps me in the story, so I already apologize for possible delays, as soon as we have caught up to the original. Until then, I hope you enjoy reading.