Summary:

"He takes a deep breath. 'You got hurt again,' he mumbles. 'Except, this time…'

'This time what?'

Jonas squeezes his eyes shut. 'This time I think you died.'"

OR

Present-Day AU. A malfunctioning time travel device and a harrowing mission force Sam and Jonas to finally confront what happened in Florida. But they're running out of time to clear the air before Jonas' latest vision comes true - a vision of Sam's impending death. Sequel to "band-aids don't fix bullet holes."

A/N: Hello again! I'm back with more plot this time, after the romantic angst of the previous chapter. This is a longer one since we're reaching another turning point in the story, so enjoy! Thank you as always for reading and supporting this fic, I really appreciate it ❤️

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER
-reference to claustrophobia
-strong language
-discussion of child abuse

Chapter 10: if love is enough (could you let it show?)

Sam wakes to an empty space beside her.

She blinks to clear the sleep from her eyes. Jonas is dressed again, tending to the now dwindling fire. His hair is still mussed from earlier, and her heart starts to ache from the memory of being wrapped in his arms. All she wants right now is to turn back time and live in that moment - maybe not for forever, but at least until she can finally sort out her feelings.

You never know how much time you have left. To say what you want to say. Or to say what you need to.

Dr. Augustine's voice echoes through her mind, causing a thread of fear to knot in her stomach. He's right, she knows. There's no telling what might happen to them in this damn cave, or if they'll make it out at all. If there's a right time to be honest, it's now, or else that now might soon become a never.

So why won't the words come out?

"Hey," Jonas says, interrupting her thoughts. "How'd you sleep?"

Sam sits up, clutching the blanket to her chest. "Okay, I guess," she replies. "How long was I out?"

Jonas shrugs. "Not sure. Hard to tell without anything to keep time."

Sam nods quietly, not knowing what else to say.

Jonas, thankfully, saves her from having to address the elephant in the room. "Your clothes are dry," he remarks, scooping up the items in question and bringing them over to her. "You can change now if you want."

Sam nods again. "Thanks," she murmurs.

She spends the next few minutes donning her outfit and pulling her boots back on. The fabric is warm from the fire, and she's grateful for that one small blessing at least. When she's finished changing, she folds up the blanket and takes it to Jonas. He's re-packing his saddlebag next to the fire.

"Got room?" she asks.

Jonas smiles - although it doesn't quite meet his eyes - and takes the blanket from her. "This did us some good, huh?"

Sam blushes. Their brief entanglement isn't easy to forget, and she's not even sure she wants to forget it. A not-so-small part of her is still craving the taste of him on her tongue, the heat of his skin touching hers, the sound of her name on his lips. All of him, reaching for her, wanting her, needing everything from her she still won't allow herself to give -

"Sam?"

Sam coughs. "Uh, yeah, the blanket helped," she splutters.

If Jonas suspects her train of thought, he doesn't let on. "We should get moving," he says, hoisting the bag onto his shoulder. "I don't know where this tunnel leads, but right now it's our only way forward."

Sam glances at the new tunnel ahead of them. "Hopefully it leads outside."

Jonas rises to his feet. "Yeah," he agrees, although there's a note of worry in his voice. "I'm starting to miss daylight."

He holds out his hand to help her stand. Sam takes it, although the contact only serves to once again remind her of the unspoken words resting between them. Still, she hopes he won't let go.

A wave of relief sweeps through her when he doesn't.

Jonas stamps out what remains of the fire, then leads her into the tunnel. They only have one glow rod to light the way now, and unfortunately this tunnel isn't as populated with blue worms as their previous route. Jonas pulls Sam close enough for their shoulders to brush while they walk.

"Don't want to lose you in here," he mumbles, although she doesn't need the justification. She can feel his body trembling beside her. The near miss in the river must have truly rattled him, and she suspects he isn't willing to take any chances now.

"I won't let go," she murmurs, squeezing his hand. "I promise."

He flashes her a weary smile and squeezes back. "Thanks," he whispers. "I was really scared back there, you know."

She meets his eyes. "I know."

They continue on for some time until they reach another cavern, this one smaller than the one they left behind. They circle the area, inspecting every inch with the glow rod. They can't find any openings in the wall.

"Great," Jonas groans. "A dead end."

"Maybe not," Sam says, pointing to some faint markings etched into the rock. "Can you tell what these say?"

Jonas holds the light up to the markings. "I'm not entirely sure," he replies. "Something about a passageway?"

"So maybe there is a way out."

He frowns. "Where, though? We checked the whole place. There's nothing."

An idea starts to form in her mind. "Maybe nothing we can see. At least not with the naked eye."

Jonas cocks his head at her. "What do you mean?"

Sam turns to him. "Remember that story the bandit woman told us? About the king and how he built traps down here?"

"Yeah."

She takes a breath. "Maybe this dead end is one of them. Or, if not a trap, a test. There's a way out, but it's hidden."

Jonas' brow furrows in thought. "So maybe…there's a release hatch or something somewhere?"

Sam nods. "That's what I was thinking."

They start searching, feeling all along the wall for anything of the sort. For awhile, their investigation yields nothing. But then Jonas finds a tiny crevice near the floor, so small it'd be far too easy to miss.

"There's just enough room here for me to stick my hand in," he says, glancing at Sam. "Then again, it could just be a decoy and take my hand off."

Sam's stomach churns. "I'll do it," she blurts out.

Jonas shakes his head. "No. I found it. It should be me."

She swallows, wanting to protest but knowing that he'll never back down. "Okay," she agrees reluctantly. "Be careful."

He takes a deep breath and slides his arm into the crevice. Thankfully, nothing happens. "I don't feel anything," Jonas says, reaching farther in. "Maybe it is a dec - wait."

Sam leans towards him. "What is it?"

"There's some kind of latch here. If I can just - "

A sudden click cuts him off, followed by the sound of stone scraping against stone. Sam whirls around to see a slab of rock sliding upward, revealing another, narrower tunnel beyond it.

"You did it!" she cries.

Jonas beams at her and begins pulling his arm out of the crevice. The moment he does so, however, the door starts to slide back down.

"Oh no," he says, his face falling. "That's not good."

Sam tries to ignore the anxious fluttering in her chest and gets up to inspect the tunnel. "Jonas, pull on the latch again."

He shoots her a look of confusion but obeys. The rock slides up again.

"This isn't a door," she calls over her shoulder. "The whole tunnel is rigged. If you let go of the latch, the ceiling starts to collapse until it closes off the entire passageway."

"Well, that's even worse," Jonas mutters. "How are we both supposed to get out?"

Sam waves her hand at him. "Let go of it again. I'm trying to figure something out."

"Okay."

Jonas releases the hatch, and Sam watches as the slab of rock once more begins to descend. She peers through to the opening on the other side, which is thankfully lit with a faint blue worm-glow.

"The ceiling takes awhile to come down," she says, counting the seconds in her head. "If we move fast enough, we should be able to make it through before it collapses."

She hears Jonas' sharp inhale from behind her. "Should?"

Sam sighs and turns back to him. "It's the only way out."

Jonas grimaces. Although the light from the glow rod is dim, she can see the fear in his eyes. But this fear is different from the fear she's seen so many times before. This fear isn't the fear of losing her. This fear is something else entirely.

"Jonas," she asks, "are you okay?"

He swallows. "Yeah," he croaks, nodding weakly at her. "Yeah, I'm fine. If you're sure about this…"

"We don't really have a choice."

He nods. "O-Okay," he says shakily. "Let's do it, then."

Sam takes a deep breath. "Okay," she repeats. "When I tell you, pull the latch again. I'll go in first, but you have to be right behind me. We can't waste any time."

Jonas nods again. "All right."

Sam locks eyes with him. "Ready?"

"Ready."

She takes another breath. "Okay. Pull on three. One…two…three!"

The latch clicks, and the rock slides up again. Sam leaps into the tunnel. It's not tall enough to stand in, so she crawls as fast as she can towards the exit. To her relief, the passageway isn't too long, so she makes it to the end fairly quickly. When she emerges on the other side, she spins around, expecting to see Jonas coming through behind her.

To her horror, he isn't there.

"Jonas!" she yells, her voice echoing down the tunnel. "What are you doing?"

Jonas is still standing on the other side, frozen in place. "Sam," he calls, his own voice strained. "I can't."

A surge of anxiety floods through her. "Jonas, you have to."

His chest starts heaving. "I-I can't, Sam," he says again. "I can't."

Sam's heart begins to pound. "Yes, you can," she insists, her panic rising. "It's not that far, and I'll be right here to grab you when you come out."

Still, he doesn't move. Through the shrinking gap in the rock, she swears she can see his eyes welling up with tears. "Sam," he whimpers, "you don't understand. I'm not good with tight spaces - "

"Right now that doesn't fucking matter!" she cries, trying and failing to keep a handle on her desperation. The gap is getting even smaller now. "You've got to come through before it closes."

Jonas winces. "What if I get stuck in there?"

"You won't," she says, reaching her hands towards him. "I won't let you. I promise."

"Sam - "

"Jonas, you have to move!"

He clenches his fists and takes a deep breath. "Okay, okay," he mumbles, more to himself than to her. "You'll pull me out, right?"

"Yes, now come on!"

With one last gulp of air, Jonas dives into the crevice. He begins to crawl forward on his belly, using his elbows to drag him forward. Sam waves her hands at him, encouraging him to keep moving.

"You've got it," she calls. "It's just a little farther."

"Sam, it's getting tighter!"

"Just keep going," she continues. "You're almost there!"

Jonas stops suddenly, his face contorting in terror. "Sam," he gasps, "I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't go any farther - "

"Yes, you can!" she shouts. She blinks away the tears blurring her vision. She's not going to lose him today. Especially not when she's left so much unsaid.

"Sam, I'm sorry - "

"Just close your eyes," she interrupts.

He frowns. "What?"

"Close your eyes," Sam repeats, stretching her arms as far as they can go. "Don't think about where you are. Just follow my voice."

Jonas hesitates for a moment before doing as she commands.

"Okay, now move! Keep moving. That's it, there you go."

She continues egging him on. Jonas is trembling violently now, but he keeps going, clinging to her words like an invisible tow line pulling him to safety.

"You've got it, you've got it," Sam says, reaching for him. "Just a little more - " He crawls closer and she grabs his wrists. "You did it!" she cries. "I've got you."

She pulls him free just as the booby-trapped ceiling slams shut with a loud thunk.

Jonas collapses to the ground, shuddering with sobs. Sam wraps her arms around him and draws him into her. "It's okay," she murmurs, one hand rubbing his back and the other stroking his hair. "It's okay. It's over. I've got you."

He buries his face in her shoulder. Sam continues holding him until his breaths grow even and his body stills. She lets him rest there for a moment before pulling back to assess him.

"Are you hurt?" she asks, cupping his face.

Jonas shakes his head. "N-no," he chokes. "I don't think so."

She brushes his hair back. "You're safe now, okay?"

He nods. "Okay."

Sam lowers her hands to his shoulders and maneuvers him into a sitting position against the wall. "Just rest for a bit. You should drink some water."

Jonas nods again, too stunned to say anything more. Sam pulls a canteen from his saddlebag, unscrews the top, and hands it to him. After he's taken a few well-needed gulps, she exchanges it with a ration bar. "You should eat too," she says.

"What about you?" he asks.

She shifts her body so that she's sitting next to him. "I'm okay for now. You need your strength back."

Jonas attempts to unwrap the ration bar, but his hands are shaking so hard that he loses his grip and drops it into his lap.

Sam reaches over and unwraps it for him. "Thanks," he mumbles. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," she scolds gently. "You just had a huge shock."

"I should've moved faster."

She sighs and slips her hand into his. "Jonas, you've got to stop doing that."

He frowns. "Doing what?"

"Apologizing for shit that isn't your fault. You do that a lot, you know."

He falls silent again. Sam watches him as he takes slow, careful bites of the ration bar. It's so different from the enthusiastic way he normally eats that she finds the sight deeply unsettling. When he finishes, he crumples up the wrapper and stuffs it into his pocket.

"I guess I'm just used to it," he mutters finally. "I spent most of my childhood apologizing for shit that wasn't my fault."

Sam gets the sense that he's about to say more, so she remains quiet. After a moment, he speaks again.

"You remember I told you about my mother, right?"

Sam nods. "Yeah, I do."

Jonas takes a deep breath. "Well," he begins, "when I was little, she was home alone with me most of the time while my father was away working. Some days were fine, but on others…she'd get angry. Too angry."

Sam waits for him to go on.

"There was this one time when she got really mad," he says at last. "To be honest, I don't even remember what I did. Or if I'd done anything at all."

His hand begins to shake again, so Sam gives it a tiny squeeze. He presses on. "What I do remember, though, is her yelling at me. I couldn't have been older than four or five at the time. Anyway, she grabbed my arm and dragged me into the hallway. There was this storage closet there, and I remember her opening it and shoving me inside." He takes another breath. "She told me I could stay in there until I was ready to behave, and then…then she just shut the door and locked me in."

Sam can barely stomach the horror twisting in her gut. "Shit, Jonas," she whispers. "That's awful."

"I know," he replies. "As you can imagine, it was very cramped in there, so it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience. At first I thought that if I just sat quietly she'd let me out in a few minutes. But then the minutes stretched into hours, and by the end of it, I was pretty much ruined for tight spaces for life." He sighs. "The worst part of it is, I think she actually forgot I was in there. She must've left the house for awhile because by the time she came back the sun had already gone down."

Sam squeezes his hand again. "That's really fucked up," she murmurs, at a loss for what else to say. "I'm so sorry."

Jonas, to her surprise, simply shrugs. "It's in the past now. I probably couldn't change it even if we could get the time travel device to work."

A spark of indignation ignites in Sam's chest. "Don't do that," she says, her voice suddenly sharp.

Jonas turns to her, frowning. "Don't do what?"

Sam's jaw tightens. "Don't downplay what happened to you."

He holds her gaze. "I still can't change it," he says quietly.

Sam shakes her head. "That's not the point. The point is, what your mother did was fucked up and horrible and it left scars that never should've been there in the first place. You deserved better, and you owe it to yourself to acknowledge that you deserved better."

Jonas looks away, and in the dim blue light Sam can see a single tear roll down his cheek. "Okay," he murmurs. "I guess you're right."

"I know I'm right," Sam says firmly, lifting a hand to his face. She turns it so that she can look him in the eye. "You're worth so much more than how she treated you." She wipes the tear away with her thumb. "I wish you knew that."

They stare at each other for a long moment. Then, before she can stop herself, Sam lifts her chin and kisses his forehead. "Don't ever sell yourself short again," she whispers. "You got that?"

Jonas nods. "Okay."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

She isn't sure if he'll hold to that, but for now it'll have to do. "Just rest for a bit," she reiterates. "Then we can figure out how to get out of here."

He nods again, then lays his head on Sam's shoulder. She wraps her arms around him and strokes his hair until his eyes flutter closed.

"Sam?" he murmurs.

Sam presses a kiss to his hair. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

She tightens her grip, not wanting to think of how close she came to losing him. "Don't mention it," she says softly. "We're even now."

"We were already even," he mumbles, his breath tickling her skin. "After we saved each other from that crazy woman."

Sam can't help but smile. "Okay," she admits. "But then you rescued me from the river, making it not even, so I had to make it even again by helping you get through the tunnel."

He's silent as he processes this. "That's true," he says finally. "I guess you're right."

She kisses his temple, knowing that if she keeps on like this, they're going to be in trouble again. "I know I'm right," she whispers.

"You already said that before."

"That was for an entirely different issue."

Jonas snorts and shifts a little, which brings his lips right up to her neck. "Fine," he sighs. "You're always right."

"Yes, I am," she quips.

He smiles against her throat. "I don't mind you being right."

Sam grins and nuzzles his hairline. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

He shifts again, this time drawing back to look her in the eye. "Is that the only reason?"

The expression on his face is serious now, and Sam realizes he has her cornered. I can't keep holding out on him, she thinks. I have to tell him the truth even if it scares me.

"Sam?"

She takes a deep breath. "Look, Jonas, I - "

BANG!

They jump apart, startled by the sudden noise. "What the hell was that?" Jonas asks.

Sam reluctantly pulls away from him and gets to her feet. "It sounded like a gun," she says.

Jonas stands up beside her. "The other bandits?"

"Maybe."

"That means Cam, Celia, and Stella could be trying to escape," Jonas remarks. "They might need our help."

Sam runs her eyes over his body. "You're sure you're okay?"

Jonas squares his shoulders. "Yeah," he says, grabbing her hand again. "Let's go."

Their new route takes them through yet another tunnel. Unlike the other tunnels, however, this one is lit overhead by clusters of purple worms instead of blue.

"The anti-venom worms," Jonas muses. "I was wondering when we'd run into them."

Sam only halfway hears him, focused instead on listening for more gunshots. "I don't hear anything up ahead anymore."

Jonas squeezes her hand. "Just keep going," he murmurs. "We'll find them."

Sam does as he suggests, pulling him closer to her. Her grip on him tightens as they walk.

Eventually the purple worms disappear, and they're once again plunged into darkness, save for the glow rod. After some time, the tunnel opens up into another small cavern, once again lit by blue-wormed stalactites.

Sam groans. "How many dead ends are there in this place?"

"Well," Jonas says, "if there was a hidden opening in the last one, maybe there's one in here too. Come on, let's look."

He leads her around the cavern, inspecting the walls much like they did the last time. Nothing unusual sticks out. "There has to be some way out of here," Sam sighs, her voice edged with frustration. "We both heard that gunshot. It didn't just come from nowhere."

"Maybe the mechanism in here is different," Jonas remarks, scanning the ground. "Something that has to be pushed instead of pulled."

Sam lets go of his hand and turns in a circle. "Like what? I don't see - "

Thunk.

Jonas gasps. "Sam, look!"

Sam follows his gaze. Her foot has come down on a button in the floor, disguised as an ordinary rock. "Whoa," she says. "You were right."

Jonas turns around, shining the glow rod into the distance. "I don't see an opening."

"Maybe there's another button we have to push," Sam suggests. "I'll stay here while you look."

Jonas nods and begins inspecting the ground again, testing every loose rock with the edge of his boot. At last, he finds one that looks somewhat promising, and tentatively presses down on it.

Thunk.

This time, the thunk is followed by a familiar scraping sound. Jonas looks up to see another slab of rock sliding up towards the ceiling. A large tunnel lit by more blue worms appears.

Sam turns to him, smiling. "Well, that wasn't so hard."

Jonas grimaces. "Let's see if that door holds first before we decide to celebrate."

He steps off the rock, motioning for Sam to do the same. To his relief, the door stays open.

"Huh," Sam says. "That's convenient."

"Too convenient," Jonas mutters, walking back over to her. "I don't trust it."

"Neither do I," she agrees. Suddenly, she leans up and kisses his cheek.

His face flushes with heat. "What was that for?" he asks.

Her gaze flits away. "Let's just be careful," she says quietly.

Jonas eyes her for a moment, wrestling with a storm of emotions. He hasn't had time to stop and think about what happened by the river, or about what almost happened after they made it through the booby-trapped tunnel. He decided, back before they were kidnapped, that he was going to be honest with Sam about his feelings. But their struggle to escape and their fight to stay alive has taken up so much of his energy that he doesn't even know how to put words to what he feels anymore.

"Jonas?" Sam murmurs, turning back to gaze at him.

He's in awe of how beautiful she is, even with dirt streaked across her face and exhaustion weighing down her body. It's that unbreakable strength in her, he realizes. That relentless determination to keep going and bring him with her, even when death itself is standing in their way. She never stops fighting - not for herself, and certainly not for the people she cares about. She'll fight and fight beyond the bitter end. And no matter how much life manages to break her, she'll always pick up the pieces and put herself back together, rising from the ashes to fight another day.

Teal'c once told him that he had the heart of a warrior. But Jonas knows now it's Sam who's the warrior. Sam who never backs down. Sam who goes out of her way to look after him, even when her own life is at stake. Sam who gives him strength by always being at his side. Sam who believes, without a shadow of a doubt, that he's someone worth fighting for. And Sam who cares for him more than anyone - more than either Carina or his own mother ever could.

It's Sam. It's always been Sam. His best friend, his confidant, his partner-in-arms. His Sam. Broken, rebuilt, beautiful Sam. The woman he now knows he can't live without. The woman who means everything to him. The woman he loves.

Oh shit, he realizes. I love her.

"Jonas," Sam says again, laying a hand on his arm. "Are you okay?"

He wants more than anything to answer that question with a kiss, to sweep her up into his arms and show her how he feels. To break the barrier between them and do everything they couldn't by the river. And then, when all is said and done, to hold her so close that he becomes a part of her, and to never let her go again.

Instead, his emotions become a mixed-up jumble in his mouth, and the only thing he can say is a very quiet, "Yeah."

Sam looks him over, seeming unsatisfied with his reply, but she doesn't bring attention to it. "Okay," she says. "We should get go - "

"Wait."

He slips his ring off his finger and places it in her hand. Objectively speaking, the ring isn't worth much. It's just a trinket Dr. Kieran gave him on his birthday once, as a token of his appreciation for him. But given that Dr. Kieran is the closest thing Jonas has ever had to a real father - a father who actually paid him mind instead of burying himself in his work and neglecting to get involved in his son's life - the ring might as well be a priceless heirloom.

"Look after this for me," he murmurs, closing her fingers over her palm.

Sam frowns at him in confusion. "Why?" she asks.

His heart aches with longing. Because I love you, he thinks. And this is the only thing I can give you to prove it.

Jonas swallows. "I'll explain later," he says, squeezing her hand. "Just keep it, okay?"

Sam opens her fist and stares at the ring for a moment. "Okay," she agrees finally, placing it in her vest pocket. "I will."

He smiles softly at her, wanting yet again to kiss her until neither of them can breathe. "Let's go save Cam's ass," he jokes, nudging her arm.

She laughs and starts towards the open tunnel. "When this is over, we're never gonna let him live it down. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

He doesn't see the third button on the floor until it's almost too late.

In the split second before all hell breaks loose, Jonas shouts her name. But Sam's foot presses down on the rock before she can heed his warning, setting off another thunk, followed by the sickening swish of something flying out of the wall towards her.

Time slows. Jonas leaps forward.

He tackles Sam to the ground, out of the way of the unseen booby trap. For a moment he just lies there, shielding her body from anything else that might jump out of the shadows to harm her.

It's in that moment that his vision finally solidifies in his mind.

This is it. This is what he saw.

"Sam!" he cries, pulling back. "Sam are you okay?"

Sam looks up, still alive and still breathing. But Jonas' relief quickly turns to confusion when he realizes she isn't looking at his face. Instead, her gaze is fixed on his torso, her eyes wide with what can only be fear.

"Sam?"

"Jonas," she gasps, reaching for him. "Jonas, you're - "

She cuts herself off as he glances down. Then, at last, he sees it. A dart, much larger than the ones the bandits used on them, now sticking like a dagger out of his side.

He gets the distinct feeling that this isn't just for putting people to sleep.

"Sam," he croaks as the room starts to sway.

Her panicked scream is the last thing he hears before his body crumples to the ground.

A/N: YES YES I'M SORRY, yet ANOTHER cliffhanger 😭 I just want to give a forewarning: the next few chapters are going to be very intense so please be prepared for that. I don't want to spoil anything, but I promise you this story has a good ending. We're just taking the scenic route to get there.

The title of this chapter is taken from the lyrics of "Miracle" by CHVRCHES (I'm partial to the Hansa Session version because it's so heartbreakingly gorgeous). I had a lot of trouble settling on a title this time, but I eventually chose this one because I thought it fit the theme of the chapter best.

The scene with Jonas in the booby-trapped tunnel and the following conversation about his childhood trauma was one of the first scenes I actually wrote for this fic. I wasn't sure at first when it would happen in the story, but since the last few chapters featured Jonas rescuing Sam, I thought this would be a good place to put it to give her a chance to return the favor. I loved putting together that whole tunnel sequence, because I got to write Sam and Jonas brainstorming again, and because it gave Sam the opportunity to show how much she supports and values Jonas. Even in canon he seems to think too little of himself, so I wanted to give Sam the chance to address that.

The ring Jonas gives Sam is something he's seen wearing throughout season 6, although he doesn't wear it all the time. I don't think the ring's significance was ever explained, so I wanted to give it a backstory to explain what it means and why he might give it to Sam. I'm a sucker for characters giving the person they love an object/heirloom of great personal importance to them 😭