I do not own Harry Potter, the Wizarding World, or any canon characters.
And now, the answer to another cherished question in the setting. Enjoy.
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Side Dishes
23rd Course – Caffeinated Escalation
Takes place after Hedwig's Hearth opened and before Harry and Lavender had their wedding, between courses 173 and 174 of Taste.
"There, that should wrap up most of the meeting then," Drake said, putting his papers away, securing them within a briefcase.
"I am happy to see that Hogwarts continues to meet the standards of the ICW," Dumbledore said proudly.
"Meeting and exceeding truth be told," Drake said warmly, enjoying Dumbledore's obvious pride. "Well done, my friend. And I assume that the local environment reflects the scholastic one?"
"For the most part," Dumbledore nodded. "Like most profound change, it has been slow. I am happy to say that is steady change however and sincerely done. More departments at the Ministry are being created and maintained to a higher standard. That and with the increased ICW presence, it is modernizing things to a degree."
"If you ever told me that we would be creating a permanent ICW presence in Wizarding Britain, I would have been very skeptical," Drake said, leaning back comfortably in his chair.
"As would I," Dumbledore said. "I had always hoped, however. While one should not include everything, isolating oneself is not ideal either. People should decide for themselves what is best overall with debate and experience." He smiled. "Did you secure an office for yourself at the new complex?"
"I did," Drake said, smiling. "A rather nice spot as well. I am also looking for a more permanent living arrangement here too."
"I remember you saying you never would do that," Dumbledore laughed. "Something about this land being a punishment."
"Well, opinions can change I suppose," Drake chuckled. "I am also being well compensated for moving here and facilitating better working relationships between the British Ministry and the ICW."
"And of course being near Harry and the benefits of such," Dumbledore smiled knowingly.
Drake munched on a sausage roll happily. "Well yes, that too of course." He looked at the food on the table between him and Dumbledore. "Are there any more sandwiches?" Fawkes' whistle caught his attention and he reached over. "Thank you."
"Ah wait Drake," Dumbledore groaned.
Drake hissed in pain as his hand crumpled from hitting something very solid. He had reached out for the sandwich in Fawkes' food dish and before making contact, his hand struck something very hard. The unexpected impact made his hand hurt and he shook it, glaring at Fawkes. The phoenix laughed musically, giving the vampire a superior look.
"A gift from Harry," Dumbledore sighed. "Only a select few can take things out."
"Oh very clever, pigeon," Drake said acidly. He growled as Fawkes mooned him cheekily. "So only certain people can take things out? Let us test that, shall we."
Fawkes shrieked with indignation as Drake poured water into his dish. The water collected and went past the confines of the bowl, forming a large globe that sat inside. The food floated in the water but did not spill out either.
"That is some nice spellwork," Drake smiled, giving Fawkes a similar look of superiority. "Your food was looking a bit dry; thought I would help."
Dumbledore sighed as Fawkes guzzled the water and spat it irritably at Drake who blocked it with a spell. "Gentlemen, and I use the term loosely, perhaps this has gone on long enough," he sighed, sighing even more when the two ignored him handily. Resigned, he continued to eat as the two threw things at one another. He groaned when Drake poured his goblet of thick red wine into Fawkes' dish, coating it with a thick crimson liquid.
Fawkes swelled angrily and gave Drake a heated look before disappearing with a flash of light and fire.
"I won this round," Drake said smugly.
"This round," Dumbledore muttered.
"I can handle anything the fire rat can do," Drake sniffed.
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Harry smiled as he saw Fawkes flap out of his office. The phoenix used his office to flash in and out of the restaurant to not alarm guests or staff. "Hi Fawkes!" Harry greeted, smiling when Fawkes landed on his shoulder first for a nuzzle before hopping onto the table in front of him. "Are you here to get something to eat or grab something for someone at the castle?"
Fawkes shook his head.
"Visiting then?"
Another head shake.
Harry wiped his hands clean on a towel. "Oh? What's wrong?" He looked to where Fawkes pointed with his wing. "You want some espresso? Uh, I thought you weren't supposed to have any. Why do you want some."
Fawkes slitted his eyes and held one wing in front of his face. He hissed dramatically, sounding like raspy broken woodwinds and made a clawing motion with his other wing.
"Oh no, what did Mr. Drake do now?" Harry groaned. He waited for Fawkes to grab a piece of paper from his office and watched the phoenix sketch on the paper with his talon. "Huh. Sorry, I never thought about someone doing that to your food dish. I'm sure Auntie Andi or Grandmother can fix that with some spellwork."
He hummed softly to himself while Fawkes looked up at him pleadingly. "I'm going to make some espresso for us," Harry said loudly. "Anyone want a cup?"
"Yes please, Chef," Mirra replied.
"No thank you Chef," Felicity said.
"No thanks Chef!" Eddie called out.
"We do," Inky said and Willie and Nillie nodded.
"I will have one later," Chloe said.
"Six cups, got it," Harry said and started making the espresso.
"Uh, I said later, Chef?" Chloe said, looking at him with confusion.
"Yup, heard," Harry said. He smiled at Fawkes nodding in understanding, the bird nuzzling him gratefully. He finished the piping hot coffee, pouring it into several small cups. He took the cups to the others, leaving his and Chloe's on the table. When he returned, his cup remained there and the other was empty. He shook his head slowly as he sipped his own cup of strong coffee.
"I am confused," Chloe said as she walked up, looking at the empty cup and at Harry.
Harry chuckled as he made more. "So Fawkes shouldn't have espresso apparently. Years ago, I made affogato and Professor Dumbledore said to not give him any."
"He can have alcohol, but not espresso?" Chloe asked, eyebrow raised.
"Yup. And Fawkes has never tried to poach any or sneak any. He's really good about that sort of thing but as you know, he isn't shy about sneaking treats and food and the like otherwise. So since he's asking me for some, it's for a reason. And I think I know why."
"Well do tell," Chloe said, taking a cup from him and sipping appreciatively.
"He and Mr. Drake have a really rough relationship," Harry said.
"That does not surprise me," she replied flatly.
Harry smiled. "But yeah. I gave Fawkes a food dish a while back and it's enchanted that only a few people can take out what's in it. Fawkes confessed to messing with Drake and Drake retaliated by pouring water into his bowl and then pouring his blood wine in and Fawkes hates blood wine. So Fawkes wanted to escalate and came to me for help."
"Makes sense," Chloe said and meant what she said. She smiled. "I hope we get to hear what happens."
"I'm sure we will. In fact, let's keep the private room open tonight. I think we're going to need it," Harry smiled back. He looked up when Hedwig flapped into the kitchen. "Hi girl," he greeted as she barked a greeting, landing on his head and nuzzling him. She looked at his cup of espresso and barked.
"Only a little," he said and held the cup for her to sip daintily from. "I know how you get when you're caffeinated."
Hedwig licked her beak clean and cheeped lovingly at him.
"So you made an extra one and walked off so that Fawkes could obtain it, but since you did not give it to him directly, you are not directly responsible?" Chloe asked, smiling.
"Something like that," Harry grinned.
"Very tricky of you Chef," she laughed.
"Right? Some of my friends would be very proud," Harry laughed.
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Fawkes had left in a flash and returned in an inferno.
Drake fell over when a contained explosion went off right in front of his face, shouting in alarm. Dumbledore had slid back, wand coming up, before he realized what it was. He groaned, hand over face as Fawkes continued to flash around the room, his usual cracks sounding more like fireworks and the flashes of lights bursting in brilliance. The phoenix was moving so fast, he left trails of fire and light behind him and his singing was incredibly loud, like an orchestra's worth of string instruments condensed into a single sound.
"What the hell?!" Drake cried as he rolled on the ground trying to avoid the small explosions that shattered the air around him. He squawked when he felt Fawkes grab onto his cloak from behind and Fawkes cracked away, dragging the cloak from Drake but leaving the vampire in a heap on the floor.
"Oh for Merlin's sake," Dumbledore sighed.
Drake's jaw dropped open as Fawkes disappeared, reappearing outside the window, flashed back in only this time holding half of Drake's cloak with the other half fluttering slowly down to the grounds outside. Fawkes then waved the half cloak at Drake, much like a bullfighter would to their quarry, and fled the office, singing at the top of his lungs.
"YOU FLYING FUCK! I WILL KILL YOU AND EAT YOU NOW!" Drake howled and chased after the phoenix. "TRUCE OVER!"
Dumbledore slumped into his chair and banged his head against his desk in a futile attempt to reach a balance of internal pain to external pain.
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"Hello, welcome to Hedwig's Hearth." Chloe smiled broadly at the party that walked into the restaurant. "It is good to see you all. Why, Mr. Tepes, you look like you have had some trouble today."
"What?!" Drake asked loudly. He scowled, angling his head to have his ear in prominence which did also show off that he was covered in soot marks and ash smudges, his clothes having some burned holes, and he smelled of burnt feathers and clothing. His cloak was torn in half longways and the remainder of it dangled off one shoulder.
Dumbledore gently moved Drake to the side via pushing his shoulder. "He is recovering from some healing centered on his ears," he said with bone-deep weariness, tapping his own.
Drake scowled deeply. "The bloody bird popped my eardrums! Then she stuck something sharp into them!"
"It wasn't sharp!" Pomfrey protested, returning Drake's scowl. "You wanted proper healing and I provided it! The damage necessitated ointment as well as spells and your muffled hearing, for the tenth time, is from the ointment! Let it do its job and you will heal properly and your hearing will be as sharp as ever, you fat whiny baby!"
"I am not whiny nor fat!"
"So you do have selective hearing!" Pomfrey shouted.
"The private room is available and waiting," Chloe said with a very big smile.
"Let's adjourn there then," Flitwick said, matching her merriment. He waved his wand surreptitiously and Pomfrey and Drake continued to argue with one another but the volume of the argument was noticeably quieter. "I'll be sure to charm the room some more too so as not to bother the other guests," he said with a wink as he gently but firmly pushed the two towards the private room, his smile from ear to ear.
"May I?" Dumbledore asked, nodding to the kitchen. He smiled wryly at Chloe's nod who was overcome with giggles and he walked to the kitchen. "Hello everyone," he said warmly to the Brigade who returned his greeting.
"Oh hello Sir!" Harry smiled when the man stopped beside him. "Nice seeing you here tonight."
"Not a surprise, surely?" Dumbledore asked dryly.
"A pleasant one as always," Harry demurred, smiling at Dumbledore's snort.
"Where is he?" Dumbledore asked flatly.
"Who?" Harry had the temerity to look innocent, making Dumbledore laugh.
"Our fiery friend," Dumbledore snorted.
"Ah, well, there's a chance he's sleeping in my office," Harry said with a smile. "He was completely tuckered out for some reason."
"I am sure," Dumbledore said with a deeper snort. "He and Drake chased each other around the castle for hours. Whenever one showed signs of flagging, the other tried to take advantage and it only kept escalating. Thank goodness it is the summer so there were no classes to disrupt."
"How did things end?" Harry asked, coughing to stifle laughter.
"Drake was almost successful in encasing Fawkes in a glass box," Dumbledore sighed. "Fawkes shattered it with his singing which in turn popped Drake's eardrums. He then made his escape while Drake was overcome with vertigo. I had to then drag him to Poppy which then led to another fight where he was a less than ideal patient."
"Poor Mr. Drake and Fawkes," Harry laughed. "And you and Madam Pomfrey."
"It has been a day," Dumbledore groaned. He gave Harry a pawky look. "Which you seemed to have aided."
"I don't know about that," Harry protested insincerely. "Sure I have an espresso machine here but it's not exactly kept under lock and key."
"Indeed," Dumbledore said in his driest tone yet. "And the fact that the private room was just waiting for us?"
"Intuition?" Harry smiled at an even louder and rougher snort. "That sounds like Mr. Abe."
"It does," Dumbledore agreed, smiling.
"I also might have sent Inky out for some bottles of Sanguinous. Managed to find one made from dragon blood and aged 25 years."
"That will mollify him somewhat," Dumbledore said.
"I guess that's why he shouldn't have any espresso," Harry grinned.
"Yes, this is why I cautioned against it many years ago," Dumbledore said, amused.
"That would have been interesting to see on the train." Harry watched as Hedwig flew into the kitchen and grabbed the next delivery order and swooped out without stopping, barking a hello as she passed and catching a piece of bacon he threw up to her. "Hedwig and Sunny and Crookshanks showed how espresso had an impact on them."
"And like I said then, much less trouble in comparison," Dumbledore said.
"You all don't have to worry about ordering," Harry said. "Already have something in the works, was just waiting for you to arrive."
"Your intuition is particularly sharp tonight," Dumbledore said and laughed merrily at Harry's feigned confusion.
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"Hi everyone," Harry smiled, walking into the private room. He held a tray and served the dishes to their waiting recipients.
"Ah! Thank you my friend!" Drake said loudly when Harry took the cloche off his dish. He devoured the food without reservation.
"What did he get?" Pomfrey asked, watching Drake eat his food voraciously.
"I made him an eddigy," Harry said. "An edible effigy," he clarified. "As per tradition. It's a whole roasted quail with a spicy rub and a sauce made from duck blood. Whipped potatoes and roasted veg."
"Ah, I see," she laughed. "A form of culinary revenge."
"Something like that," Harry grinned. "Steak frites cooked medium with extra frites and sauce au poivre for you." He hugged her back. "For Professor Flitwick, our special: the deep pie. Mushrooms, root veg, nicken, and ham in our best pastry crust."
"Delicious!" Flitwick smiled as he breathed in the deeply savory scent.
"And for you Sir, also a whole roasted quail with a slightly less spicy sauce," Harry smiled, setting the plate in front of Dumbledore.
"You know what, that sounds wonderful," Dumbledore laughed.
"And I already have another finishing up for you," Harry reassured Drake who looked up, already half done.
"Good, I am ravenous today," Drake said, eating hungrily. "And thank you for the wine. I will pay for it. No negotiations on that."
"Whatever makes you happy," Harry smiled.
"The problem is, what will make him happy is rather unobtainable at the moment," Dumbledore said. He and the others laughed while Drake turned a slightly deafened ear at him, eating with feigned dignity.
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Hands Off MY Wolfie - It was the petling's train. They just let the others use it. Thanks for reading.
TheSphynx - Hope you enjoyed today's chapter.
odonnellzoo99 - Hedwig was not fond of Azuki or Moriti at first meeting no. She was so peeved, she went full 3rd person.
Shroudy9 - Here's the answer to your question. I have been enjoying writing these chapters, hence me continuing to do so.
alix33 - The petlings were very good at wheedling to great result. For them anyways.
HoneyBear84 - It is a tasty combination.
guest - Very much so, much fun chaos.
poka - The wings were a new addition, it wasn't mentioned in the main story. Didn't think of it until this one and it just made sense. Hedwig is a bit selfish, only a little bit. Now you don't have to imagine why Fawkes normally doesn't have espresso.