The whole ride, I keep my eyes to the road, not wanting to look back. Just the very knowledge of my companion's death makes my heart ache and even more grief washes over me. I try to listen to the thundering of hooves and the heavy breathing of the galloping horses, hoping it can drown out the constant thought of Neuma.

Finally, the fortress of Helm's Deep is visible. It's a small fortress, but the walls stretching from it were of a fair size. Helm's Deep is built within a mountainside, the gate at the top of a hill of sorts, being accessible by a stone ramp. We trot to the gate, pushing it open with the cries of.

,,May way for Théoden! Make way for the king!" Éowyn rushes to meet us.

,,So few..." She frowns, her grey-green eyes searching the group, then lands yet again upon Théoden. ,,So few of you have returned." Théoden looks down, releasing a deep exhale.

,,Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives." He sighs deeply before starting up the stairway. The niece of Théoden allows her eyes to roam over the warriors again, seeking a particular woman. She meets my eyes and is taken aback. Gimli has walked up to her.

,,My lady..." He greets sadly, trying to keep his voice unwavering. He bows his head in slight acknowledgement of her.

,,Lady Rebecca, where is she?" She asks cautiously, fearing the worst. Her blonde hair shadows her eyes, standing nearly still as she holds her breath for the answer. Gimli's voice quivers.

,,She fell." Éowyn gasps, her large eyes looking to her uncle for confirmation, glistening with fresh tears. Their two gazes met before the king breaks the exchange. Éowyn's eyes falls to the cold ground beneath her feet. Théoden steps up to the battlements.

,,What of the ones who cannot fight, my lord? The woman and children?" Gamling asks respectfully.

,,Get them into the caves." Théoden replies, walking down the battlements, passing a sewage gate. ,,Saruman's arm will have grown long indeed if he thinks he can reach us here." I get away from the crowd and isolate myself. I curl up in a dark corner and throw my cloak over myself. She took a little tumble off the cliff. He fell... I can still hear the mocking laugh of the orc in my head. I cannot get over the fact that just a few minutes before the battle, Neuma was alive and beside me. Now, there is nothing.

,,Are you truly dead, mellon nîn ( my friend )?" I ask the wall across me, quietly. ,,How did the wargs take you down? How did you let yourself so easily be felled?" No. She did not let herself be felled. She was taken down by those vile creatures of Saruman! My fists clenches tightly, my arms folding and my knees pull up to my face. You failed to save her... My fists clenches tighter, warm tears begin to fall down my face, landing in my lap. I failed her... I failed them all... Neuma... Sam... Frodo... Merry... Pippin... Boromir... and Gandalf... Why is life so cruel to those undeserving of death? I lean back against the stone walls, the coolness of it somewhat comforting. I could've saved her, but she's gone... It is far too late, I failed... My senses catches Gimli passing by, calling out to me. I ignore the dwarf, burying my head into my knees, sobbing silently. Without Neuma, the journey ahead will be much more difficult and the chances of reclaiming what has been lost to Sauron will be slim, even with Gandalf's aid. Neuma was to play a role within our victory, yet Sauron's forces had claimed yet another of the Fellowship.

,,You alright, lad?" Gimli asks me, finally have been able to find me. In response I shake my head and look away. ,,It's not your fault she fell." He states. ,,There is nothing more you could have done to save her after she fell."

,,That's not true." I snap back, shifting uncomfortably.

,,It isn't your fault." I look up at him, nothing but a glare and cold eyes. Gimli takes that as a sign to leave me alone, but he continues to attempt to cheer me up. ,,She did not die in vain. She saved us. As did you. Be proud of her. She wouldn't want you to be upset."

,,I don't care what she would want for me!" I counter, a growl in my voice. Gimli sighs deeply before sitting down beside me.

,,I know it's hard, but you need to carry on without her. I don't expect you to heal so easily, especially since her passing is still fresh in your mind, I imagine. But... Are we certain she is dead?" I don't even want to think about the possibility. ,,Will you at least search for her body?" Gimli asks hopefully. I growl once again.

,,There are many guards stationed around here. Théoden will not allow us to leave so easily." I reply bitterly. I stand up, not see a thing to the dwarf again and stumble to the room Théoden has assigned for me earlier. I lock the door behind me, not wanting to be disturbed.

I just set my cloak aside with my other belongings, taking a deep breath. Immediately, pain racks my side, but I have been enduring this pain on my ride to Helm's Deep and while remaining curled within the corner, it's nothing new. Fresh crimson has stained me side where I have received a rather jagged gash just above my hip. The wound stings with the cool breeze that has managed to squeeze through the door when I slammed them close. I walk to the mirror and turn so I can see the wound better. I sink to the floor, staring at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. I cover the wound with my left hand, not caring about the blood coming onto my hand. All I want is Neuma back. The more I consider death, the more I get a nagging feeling in my heart. What is Neuma truly has not died? What is she was still alive? What is she is wounded and needs aid? I have to know. Even if it kills me, I will find out. I begin to devise a plan. I will ride out to find Neuma at dark. Unfortunately, I cannot sneak out during the day, spotting me will be far too easy in the blinding light of the evening.

A knock at the door startles me. I jump, causing a horrible pain to rip through me, but I clamp a hand over my mouth to keep from crying out. I quickly take my cloak, refasten it and open the door to find Éowyn standing at the entrance.

,,Sorry to bother you, my lord." She stutters, bowing slightly. ,,Food will be served soon. Will you not join us?"

,,I'm not hungry." I reply and that is a lie. Éowyn glances up at me in worry.

,,You're rather pale... are you alright?" She steps forward to place a hand to my head, but I quickly smack her hand away, stepping back. The young woman stands in shock, but retracts her hand, apologizing.

,,I apologize myself. I will be down later. Thank you." I say gently. ,,Can you bring me some bandages?"

,,You're hurt?"

,,No, but it will be good to take some on the road."

,,Then why are you so pale?"

,,I." I truly don't know how to reply to that. Elves don't fall ill, so sickness will not be an excuse. ,,I have always been pale. It's a trait for Elves."

,,Are you sure?"

,,Of course, I am sure. I'm an Elf, after all." I reply sharply. Éowyn recoils, frightened by my sudden ire. I soften only a little. ,,Forgive me. I am merely tired. If you would fetch me bandages for the road, that would be much appreciated." With that the young woman bows in respect and leaves the room, the sound of the door slamming follows her. I push myself off the closed door. Stupid orc. The thought of Neuma possibly carrying such a wound flashes through my mind. Luckily it doesn't take Éowyn long to come back with the bandages and once she's gone again I take care of the wound.