The clink of metal and breathy groans sounded around me as I sat down feeling out of breath on the bench.
"Rosalie Anne Swan, I am going —to murder you!" I rasped, putting my head between my legs.
"Oh, stop complaining… and get your ass back on that treadmill, we still have another thirty minutes before Alice shows up here and starts bitching about everything that's going wrong, and I want to leave before she even has a chance to bitch about what happened last night." She sniped breathlessly as she ran like nothing on the treadmill next to mine.
"Forget it. I would rather be thick, with dimples on my ass than have another asthma attack." I gasped, as I downed some more water from my metal bottle.
"Do it, Bee! This will burn that anger away!" She ordered, climbing onto the step climber a few feet away from me.
I flipped her off, and made my way to the exercise bike on the other side of the room, mumbling about nosy bitches in the room.
Alice never did show up.
Instead, we met her and the rest of the family and the wedding party in the same banquet hall as the previous day, this time for the Wedding Party Luncheon, Bridal Garden Party, and Couple Shower combined into one.
Why? Because Alice decided she was going to take Friday and make it a cocktail party for everyone instead of having bachelor and bachelorette parties.
Forcing me and Rose to have to go shopping. For more dresses.
We barely managed to get our hands on dresses fit for the rest of the week, along with accessories and shoes.
I had decided on a rusty red color for my dress for today's events. The dress had a corset top, with a sweetheart neckline, and drop sleeves. The skirt had a beautiful flower print and a small slit on the side that played with the eye.
I bought pretty golden flower pins for my hair, a small gold chain and anklet to go with the dress.
I wasn't expecting to take as long as I had to get ready, but I could see the tension as I walked in the room, almost making me want to turn around.
Before I could however make my leave, Rose stopped me, wrapping an arm around me as she led me to our assigned table.
"What's going on?" I asked her quietly.
She looked away, before swallowing and looking back at me, "Our cousin, Irina, just called. Apparently, she saw Edward arguing with a woman at a restaurant a few towns over." She tells me.
I sigh, and shake my head, "I don't want to know. Do me a favor? For the rest of this week, until the wedding ceremony and all this shit is over. Don't tell me anything that involves that jackass." I told her.
She blinks in surprise but nods all the same.
"I'm over it. I swear I am, but all of you are trying to force something that will never happen. Please just let it go. If you care about me and my mental health, let it go." I told her, in a strained tone.
She sighs, "Fine. But before you leave back to New York, I want you to come visit back home. To Washington." She says.
I frown, before biting down on my lips, "I'll see if I can. The Volturi brothers only allowed me this week because I hadn't taken a vacation the entire time I've been there. I don't want to abuse their generosity." I replied, cautiously.
She scoffs, "Ten years and you've only taken a two weeks' vacation. They can spare you for another." She states.
I roll my eyes at her as James hands me something to drink.
"Heads up, here comes Voldemort." He says as he juts his chin in the direction of the door.
I let out a long breath, before moving to stand up. "I am- I am gonna go… to the bathroom." I say as I shoot to my feet, and hastily move to make my way to the bathroom.
Rose grabs my wrist, halting me to stop, giving me a bothered look, "Bee, before you disappear to the bathroom can I ask for a favor?" She asks.
I hesitated before looking over at Edward, who was staring at me from across the room. "If this has anything to do with me and that asshole talking… I will leave and never come back to any family functions." I told her.
She holds up a hand, "It does. But before you cut me off, I want you to hear him out, please. Trust me when I say this is not something I would beg for. Do it, if just to keep the peace for the rest of the weekend." She tells me, as she nods in the direction of where both Peter and Jasper are standing with my parents.
I let out a long breath before nodding, "Fine, but if I end up punching him in the face, or kicking him in the balls, it'll be on you." I tell her, feigning enthusiasm.
With that said, I grab my drink, downing it, before heading out the door that leads to the garden, knowing he would follow me out if he truly did want to talk.
I could feel his tall, looming form hesitating as I slowly made my way to a glass gazebo which I knew had the perfect view of the shore and the beautiful gardens. I had seen it earlier as I went back to my room after coming back from the shopping trip with Rose. I knew it would be alone at this time due to this event being books for the entire week.
"Say whatever you need to say so we can go back inside and pretend that we're friends in front of everybody like nothing ever happened." I tell him as I face the shore.
The silence between us is tense, and stretches on as I stare ahead, trying not to think about everything that happened to get us to this point.
"I- I just want to say how sorry I am. " He whispers, brokenly.
I shake my head, as I wipe fiercely at the tears that are making their way down my face, despite how hard I fought to hold them back, begging a higher power to will them away. "You're 'I'm sorry' is ten years too late." I told him, solemnly.
He sighs, "Bir- Bee- Bella, I get that I messed up. That I broke your heart, that I broke all of our promises, that I hurt you deeply, but I am trying to fix that. I have been for the last ten years…" He tells me.
I nod, biting down on my lips to keep from saying anything stupid, as I remember the promise I made to Rose.
'Hear him out.' She echoes in my ear.
Keep the peace. At least until after the wedding. I could do that. I would do that, for her and Alice and Jasper…. For our families.
"As I said before… you're ten years too late." I say, swallowing thickly, despite my voice cracking.
"Bee… just listen. All I am asking for is an opportunity. One. Give me ten minutes and I'll explain everything. This is all a misunderstanding." He says.
'Hear him out.' Rose's voice echoes once more in my head.
I sigh, "You've got nine minutes and forty- three seconds." I tell him, still facing away from him.
He gives me a grateful look, before he tries to gesture for me to sit down, only to realize I didn't want to be anywhere near him.
"First of all, this was all a misunderstanding. When I came back for that visit, Kade and Valerie tagged along but Kade got food poisoning and was forced to stay back at the hotel while Val and I went to visit my parents. Never in my life did I think she would start acting like a bitch and talk to you like that. I swear after everything happened, I spoke to her about it and straightened things out. I am sorry you were hurt." He tells me.
I nod, "Right. Go on." I breathe as I hold onto metal railings.
"Well, I just thought you should know that Alice and everyone else found out we were together after Thanksgiving." He informs me.
I nod, "I know, Jasper and Rose told me after they dragged the story from me. Now, go on." I say, flatly.
"Alice wasn't happy about it. She stopped talking to me, and made me promise not to hurt you, which now that I realize I also broke that promise to her, I am probably going to die when we all get back to Seattle. But I digress, hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do." He tells me.
I turned to look him in the eye, allowing him to see how much I was still hurting. "You know for all the words you are saying, you're still not saying shit." I point out. "I know what Alice made you promise her. I know that everyone knew. Hell, I even know that Valerie was Kade's fiancée. She called me after you refused to. What I want to know, and for the life of me I don't get why I do, is why you are still trying to apologize when you've clearly moved on. What does me forgiving you have to do with you bugging the shit out of my family? Looking for me every chance you get. Why? What do more you want from me? I gave you everything that I physically could give you. What else do you want from me?" I asked, blinking away tears.
He flinches. "I know that I had everything with you. I fell for you and realized it too late. I just want you back in my life. Without you, it's like there's no sun. I would kill to have a little bit of that sun in my life again. I understand that my words hurt you, that my actions said the opposite of what I actually feel for you, but I need you. I miss you. I- I can't keep living my life without knowing about you. How you are. I hate that we were once close and now it's like I am looking at a stranger. I miss you." He tells me, as his voice husky with emotion.
I let out a cynical laugh, shaking my head at him, before turning away, "Do you realize that this change didn't happen overnight, don't you? It me a long time to realize, and drill into my head that I was pathetic." I told him as he stared back with a frown, though I can see his face mirror my own. Emotions raw, bouncing back and forth between us. " But nothing was more pathetic than realize how true everything was from the start. That I knew that there was a good possibility that you would hurt me, yet I still gave you many chances. Not one, not two, not three, but four, and you toyed with me each and every single time." I add, swiping hastily at my cheek as tears fell.
"That is the last thing that I wanted to do." He tells me, thickly.
I nod, " Yeah. It's never your intention to hurt anyone but you do, and you continue to do so by trying to force something that has long been dead." I whisper.
He swallows as he reaches up to wipe his own face, "I never stood a chance, did I? I could apologize over and over, and it'll never be enough, will it?" He asked me.
I let out a slow breath, as I looked up at him. "Funny thing is that you did once. But you blew it, and I've moved on." I tell him, with finality.
His expression grows determined as he stares at me, before shaking his head vehemently. "I am not going to let you go so easily. You can't tell me that what we used to feel when we were together is gone. I will not accept it." He tells me.
I nod, looking away, before answering him, "You know what, I don't think you realize the damage that you did." I told him.
"Then explain to me." He says determined.
I narrow my eyes at him, " You really don't see what you did wrong, do you? That those fucking words you told me all those years ago are imprinted in my mind, and I wrestle with them every day. To prove to myself that I am not pathetic, or stupid, or naive. That you were the one in the wrong not me. See, I fucking loved you at your lowest, but you left me at mine. You don't get to come here and pretend and tell me you never stopped loving me when you were the one who chose to walk away. Now, please - please just stop. I am begging you. Just let me go, Edward. You know this was the only way, it's what's best for the both of us. " I told him, trying to blink away the tears.
He shakes his head, tears falling down his face, and I know mine do as well, as he slowly makes his way to me. "I will die before I allow you to walk out of my life again. I won't do it." He tells me as he places his forehead down on mine.
We stand there, not touching anything besides our foreheads as tears flow down our faces.
"Bird." He whispers, more like pleads, as he leans down, lips hovering above mine as he utters that word of endearment.
It takes every cell in my body to pull away, and I know why. In my heart, and every cell in my body I know that I still love him, but my mind refuses to bow.
It takes me a moment to remember why I had been avoiding this moment for the last ten years. Him. His hypnotizing eyes and words always pulled me in making me forget, even the promise to myself.
I couldn't drop my guard. I wasn't about to allow myself to get hurt by the same man who called me an idiotic teen with daddy issues.
With that thought, I shook my head at him, and slowly stepped back, steeling myself, "We both know that this was a game we were both set to fail, it's best we stop this now before either of us gets hurt." I repeat his words from ten years ago, before practically running out of there.
I manage to run a few feet before I slip off my heels and run in the direction of the hotel, managing to grab the elevator and slam the button to close it as I see Edward run in through the side door leading to the lobby, looking around frantically.
Author's Note:
Thank you for all the positive feedback. I know I have a few errors in these chapters, and I appreciate the people who are giving this a chance, and those who are reviewing.
P.S. I am sorry if this Bella is a whiny bitch, she's just hurting.
Also, for those asking, she is a lawyer, and lives in New York, not Washington. I hope that clears things up.