November 3, 1981
Calandra opened her eyes to find a white ceiling above her. Home. She closed her eyes again to rest, then they snapped back open. She wasn't at home. Where was she? She blinked and turned her head. Grey walls and a tile floor. There were no windows in the room and very little furniture; the bed she must be laying on and a chair pushed under a desk, that was it. To her left was a doorway with no door. She saw a sink and a bathtub in the room beyond the doorway. To her right was a door with a very small window in it, except the window wasn't made of glass, it was made of something else. It shone blue.
Where was she? How did she get here?
She tried to sit up and felt an aching in her head. Her throat hurt horribly. She felt like she'd been in a duel. Her ribs were sore, and her arms felt like they'd been pulled from their sockets.
What had happened? How did she get here?
She heard a noise and saw the door open. Albus Dumbledore entered the room and it all came flooding back.
Sirius.
They'd thrown him in Azkaban. She had to get him out.
"I see you're awake, Ms. White." Dumbledore said calmly. "I want to inform you that you are safe here and will receive the best of care."
"You have…. to….get ….Sirius… out." Each word was torture, ripped from her throat.
"You know, as well as I do, that I cannot do that." Dumbledore said, holding his hands together.
"He…didn't ….do it." Her voice was hoarse, barely a whisper, and wholly unfamiliar. "Charm….didn't work."
"I can assure you, the charm worked. I know it for a fact." Dumbledore said.
Calandra shook her head.
"He.….didn't" she croaked.
"Ms. White," Dumbledore said gently. "The charm worked. James himself told me he'd trust Sirius with his life. There's no other way they could've been found."
"No….No…He….wouldn't." she struggled with each word.
Dumbledore just shook his head. He peered at her over his glasses.
"You exhibited quite remarkable magic back there. Very powerful magic." His voice was measured, his eyes guarded. "I hadn't realized just how powerful while you were at school."
"Get him….out. Harry…needs him." She closed her eyes, focusing on forcing the words out.
"Harry is quite safe. He was retrieved by Hagrid on my orders and brought to his family's house. He will be safe there." Dumbledore pulled out the only chair in the room and settled himself in it.
Calandra shook her head. She raised herself up on the bed, panting with the effort.
"Awful…can't stay…there." She rasped. "Pleas-"
Her voice broke and she coughed.
Dumbledore gave her a shrewd look.
"Ms. White, apart from the fact that Harry is safest with his family, there is nowhere else for him to go. Now, I am here to speak to you on your behalf. When you were taken out of Azkaban, Mr. Crouch was quite insistent on you ending up back there. I interceded due to your condition and he agreed for you to come here, since the only real harm you inflicted was on yourself."
She opened her mouth to tell him to send her back, but he held up a long, thin finger.
"You will not be going back to Azkaban." Dumbledore said firmly. "It will take some time for you to recuperate. You did a lot of damage to yourself. Your magic is unstable, and your health is also not up to par right now. I've checked you into St. Mungos and spoken with the healer most seasoned with injuries such as yours. It is possible that you will make a full recovery, but it will take time. Lots of time."
She put in all the effort she had and sat up. She threw her feet over the edge of the bed, breathing hard. She swallowed and winced at the pain. She couldn't stay here. She had to get him out and had to help him get to Harry.
"I….won't…stay." She swallowed forcing the words out. "Can't make…..me…..he's inn…cent."
Dumbledore's mouth set in a thin line.
"I implore you, Ms. White, to think for a moment." He stood and walked over to the bed. "Can you prove that Sirius Black is innocent? Were you with him the entire week that followed the cast of the Fidelius Charm? Did the Potters explicitly tell you Sirius was not their secret keeper?"
She stared at him, her lips trembling.
"No." She whispered. "But..."
"He all but admitted to killing James and Lily Potter. Sometimes the people we trust hide things about their selves, do they not?" he gave her a pointed look. "Your focuses should be on healing."
"I'll find…a way." She breathed heavily. "I'll….get…him out…..Har…ry needs…him."
Dumbledore sighed a heavy sigh.
"Harry is safe. You're in no shape to leave this room, Ms. White."
"I…will….be." she glared at him.
Dumbledore pushed his glasses up his nose. He walked over to the door and put his hand on the knob. He didn't turn back to look at her when he spoke.
"Ms. White, I ask you once again, focus on your healing and not on Sirius Black."
He swept through the door and Calandra was alone again. She fell back against the pillows, exhausted. Dumbledore was wrong. Sirius was innocent. Her head swam and her heart beat madly. She'd convince them. She'd get him out. Her last thought was of warm grey eyes before she faded out of consciousness.
November 4, 1981
She woke to find herself staring at a white ceiling. For about half a second Calandra was at home, lying in bed with Sirius. Then reality crashed down around her. She looked around the room. St Mungo's. She needed to get out of here. She tried sitting up in her bed but couldn't. She grunted and pushed her arms against the mattress, forcing herself up. Her head rolled to her shoulder. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to hold it upright. Everything in her burned with the effort.
Calandra felt her arms trembling and swung her right leg out of the bed. She gripped the edge of the bed and sat there breathing heavily. She grabbed her left leg and forced it over the edge of the bed. She had to get to the door. Had to get out. She placed her feet flat on the ground and stood, still clutching the edge of the bed.
She stood up straight and slid one foot forward, not trusting herself enough to pick it up off the floor. She wobbled and steadied herself. Calandra took a breath. She moved her other foot forward and crumbled to the floor. She lay there in a heap, panting trying to think through the burning pain.
She got to her knees and slowly inched her way to the door. She collapsed when she got to it, her cheek against the cold tile floor. She lay there gasping for breath for what felt like an eternity.
Get up, she thought. You have to get up. Go get him.
She rolled onto her side and dug one elbow into the floor. She grunted and pushed herself up until she was sitting. She leaned against the wall and reached her hand up feeling for the doorknob. Her fingers closed around it and she smiled faintly.
Now get up. You can't crawl out of here. Get up.
She sucked a deep rattling breath in and used everything in her to stand, still gripping the doorknob. She placed a hand against the wall, bracing herself and turned the knob. It was locked. Locked. They'd locked her in.
She let out a half sob. She pulled her hand back and pointed a couple shaking fingers at the knob. She choked out "Alohamora" and listened for the click.
Nothing happened.
She tried again. Still nothing. She went through all the opening and unlocking spells she knew, but nothing happened. Her magic wasn't working. She slid back down to the floor and cried. She beat her fists limply on the door.
"Please." she forced her voice out. "Please."
Her head ached with the effort of forcing herself to talk and her vision blurred. She fell back against the wall. She reached her hands out one more time and focused on the door. She used all her strength to make her voice anything other than a raspy whisper.
"Anoixe." echoed off the walls.
The door swung open as Calandra's head hit the floor.
November 15, 1981
She heard someone talking. She couldn't make out their words. Her head felt like it was stuffed with wet cotton. She tried to swallow but her throat burned. She coughed and tried to open her eyes. They were so heavy. She felt hands on her face. They turned her head from side to side.
Calandra finally opened her eyes. She saw a woman in front of her using a wand to measure out different potions. The vials clinked together, and the sound echoed in her head. This was the only other person she'd seen besides Dumbledore. She had to tell her.
"Out." she whispered.
The lady's head jerked up. She frowned at Calandra.
"No talking dear. You've done quite the number on yourself. If you ever want to be able to use your voice again, no talking. Not for about another week. After that we can see."
The woman raised her wand in front of Calandra and she saw a bright light. She closed her eyes; it was too much. She didn't have the energy to do anything else.
The woman in front of her held something to her lips and said, "Drink up. This will help."
She didn't know if she swallowed or not. Her throat burned and she wanted to go home. Finally, her head stopped aching and she slipped into a deep sleep.
November 22, 1981
Calandra felt hands touch her face. They moved down her neck and tilted her head to one side. Try as she might, she couldn't get her eyes to open. The person holding her head lay it back on the pillow. Calandra saw bright colors dance behind her eyelids as the person moved along the bed.
The sheets rustled and Calandra felt someone lean over her legs. Someone touched her feet, then moved to her hands. Calandra heard them murmuring and tried to open her eyes.
She needed to talk to them. To tell them what happened. She had to speak to someone, had to make them listen to her.
He is innocent! Sirius Black is innocent! Please listen to me!
She begged the person in the room to listen to her. To hear her words and take them to the ministry.
Please hear me. He's innocent.
Calandra heard the steady thump of footsteps quickly fade away and she knew she was alone again. Her head pounded and she slowly sank into darkness, her last thoughts echoing what she wanted so badly to say.
November 30, 1981
Calandra was groggy. She blinked her eyes open and turned her head to the side. A woman was using a quill to write something on a piece of parchment. She had bright green robes on. They hurt Calandra's eyes. She swallowed. Her throat was sore, but no longer had the burning sensation it had before. She swallowed and tried to clear her throat. The woman looked over at her. She finished her writing and turned around.
"Well, dear. We didn't expect you to really wake up for another eight or nine days." The woman spoke matter of factly.
"Don't try to speak. Not just yet." The witch bustled around her to the other side of the bed and drew a vial out of her pocket.
"Here, now." She said. "Drink this."
Calandra swallowed the liquid. It burned her throat. She winced and lay her head back on the pillows. She stared up at the white ceiling and thought of him. She replayed his last "I love you" over and over in her head until her eyes were too heavy to keep open.
"Just rest." She heard someone say.
She wanted to laugh. Rest was the furthest thing from her mind. Footsteps echoed through the room. The woman was leaving.
Stop. Please, stop.
Calandra had to make her stay, had to make her understand. She had to stop the woman from leaving. Had to talk to her, had to tell her Sirius was innocent. She fought to stay awake but couldn't fight the exhaustion that pulled at her mind. Slowly she faded off to sleep.
December 7, 1981
Calandra opened her eyes to find a white ceiling, awash in a soft glowing light. She turned her head to the door, where the light was emanating from. Opaque blue shone out from the small square there. She blinked her eyes, waiting for the familiar headache to make its appearance.
Nothing.
She felt fine. Not great, but fine. Her throat still ached, but her head no longer felt stuffed full of cotton. There was no pounding in her temples. She lifted her hands up to look at them. Her arms didn't burn with pain when she moved them. She was still sore, but the pain was nothing like it had been before.
Calandra tried to sit up but couldn't move more than a couple inches. She leant back into the mattress and gathered her strength, holding onto the bed for support. She lifted her head and tried to sit up. Something held her down. She looked down at herself but saw no straps or binds.
Why was she bound? Was it because of Sirius? Because she tried to help him? She had to talk to the healers. Had to explain everything, had to get him out.
The door swung open and an elderly witch strode into the room.
"Please!" Calandra called to the woman.
Her voice wasn't as broken as before, but it still came out raspy and choked. It felt as if the loudest she could speak was a whisper.
"Why am I restrained? I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm trying to help him. I'm trying to help Sirius. He's innocent."
The witch shook her head at Calandra and pulled her wand from her pocket.
"You're restrained because it's safest for you and for your healer." The witch said.
"What?" Calandra asked, dazedly.
"Your magic has put us through the wringer." The witch explained while running her wand over Calandra. "You've stunned two healers and grew one's ears to the size of elephant ears."
"No. I'm sorry." Calandra stammered. "I never meant to do that."
"That's the problem, dear." The witch pocketed her wand and strode to the table beside Calandra's bed.
She poured out two vials of potion, one vivid blue, the other a dak swirling purple. The witch held out the blue potion first.
"Bottom's up, Ms. White."
Calandra tilted the vial back and winced as the potion slid down her throat. The witch handed the other glass to her and she swallowed it, enjoying the numbing sensation it sent down her throat. It stopped the burning of the first potion.
"How long until they heal my throat?" she asked the witch. "When can I leave? I need to meet with the ministry. I have to get him out."
The healer turned to Calandra.
"As long as the potion burns, your voice still isn't healed." She said. "You won't be able to leave until your magic is under control. It's quite dangerous at the moment, especially if you're upset or agitated."
"But, nothing's happened." Calandra said. "I haven't done anything. I was panicked before you even came in."
The healer glanced toward the vials on the table. With a wave of her wand she floated them over to her hand. Calandra waited for her to answer her question, but the witch didn't say a word. Calandra looked to where the vials of potion used to sit on the table by her bed. The blue one burned, horribly. But the purple one dulled the pain.
No
They couldn't. They weren't.
Calandra looked back to the healer.
"You're…you're..." her voice shook. "You're taking my magic. I don't have-"
"It is a necessary precaution, Ms. White." The healer said.
"No!" she tried to yell. "No! You can't do this! No!"
Calandra struggled in the invisible bonds that kept her on the bed. She pulled and scratched at her torso, trying to get a grip on what something that could free her. Her voice came out in ragged gasps and shrieks of pain as she cried "No!" over and over again.
The healer was speaking to her, but Calandra didn't hear her. She fought and kicked and tried to summon her magic to break the spell that held her down. She pulled with all her strength to lift her body off the bed. She made it four inches from the mattress when a stunning spell caught her in the stomach.
December 11, 1981
"Sirius Black is innocent. He did not harm the Potters." Calandra said to the ceiling, as the healer ran a wand over her body.
The healer did not respond.
"He is innocent. Please, let me speak to the Wizengemot."
The healer was silent.
"He is innocent." Calandra said, feeling her voice grow weaker.
The healer held a glass vial up to Calandra's lips. Calandra pursed her lips and shook her head. The healer cast her eyes toward the ceiling before prying Calandra's mouth open and tilting the vial up.
Calandra's throat burned and ached. She swallowed over and over again, trying to cool the burning feeling. She gasped for air and felt more liquid fill her mouth. A tear slid from her eye as the new potion coolly worked its way down her throat. The aching feeling faded away and the healer left. Calandra stared up at the white ceiling and cried.
December 17, 1981
"Can I sit up?" Calandra asked the healer.
The witch peered at Calandra and raised her eyebrows.
"Are you going try to escape?" she asked.
Calandra's heart stuttered, but she was a second too late with the shake of her head.
"I'm afraid I can't release the bonds." The healer said. "Your magic is far too dangerous."
December 28, 1981
Calandra swallowed the potion willingly. She'd not said anything else about Sirius for the past two weeks, biting her tongue every time the healer entered the room and every time she left. Calandra didn't struggle against the bonds anymore and opened her mouth obediently when the healer held the potions up. The healer nodded, approvingly at her and Calandra took a breath.
"Can I please sit up?" she asked.
The healer peered at her and narrowed her eyes.
"Please. I don't like being tied down."
The old witch studied Calandra and gave a resigned nod. She waved her wand and Calandra felt the tension leave her torso. Calandra sat up and swung her legs off the bed. She forced herself to smile at the witch.
"Thank you." she said.
The healer nodded and left the room.
Calandra stood up and clutched the table by the bed. Her legs were shaky, and her head swam, but she was finally out of the blasted bed. She leaned against the table and cautiously tested her strength. She took shuffling steps to the wall and gasped in pain at the cramps that made her right leg spasm.
She crumbled against the wall and went to her knees. Calandra gritted her teeth and turned to sit against the wall. She stretched her legs out in front of her and flexed her muscle, trying to find where the spasms originated from. She dug the heel of her palm into her upper thigh and rubbed the knot that had formed.
Calandra forced herself to knead her aching muscles until she collapsed with exhaustion from the whole ordeal. She lay on the floor staring at the feet of the tub in the bathroom until she fell asleep.
December 30, 1981
Two days later Calandra was up walking again. She made laps in the small room until her legs shook, trying to build herself back up. The healer came in everyday and gave her potions, then promptly left. Calandra never saw another human being. Food appeared twice a day on the tray by her bed. Toiletries seemed to replenish themselves after each use.
Calandra stared at the potions the healer left on the bedside table. She had to talk to someone else. The healer wouldn't listen to her, she didn't trust Calandra at all. Calandra's eyes twitched as she looked at the potions. If she stopped taking them, would they send in another healer? If this healer wasn't getting the job done they'd have to send in someone knew wouldn't they?
January 6, 1982
"I won't take them." Calandra crossed her arms.
The mediwitch flicked a bored glance at Calandra.
"I won't take the potions." Calandra repeated. "I want to speak to another healer about them. I want a second opinion."
The old witch rolled her eyes and set the potions down.
"You'll take them." She said.
"No." Calandra said, firmly. "I won't. Not that one."
She pointed to the vial with the swirling purple liquid.
"Suit yourself." The healer said and walked out the door.
Calandra sat on the edge of her bed glaring at the potions for hours. That night was the first night in a long time, she went to sleep with a smile on her face.
January 15, 1982
Calandra paced the room. The healer should've been here. She came every single day, probably at the same time, though Calandra couldn't be sure. Why wasn't she here today? Were they sending a new healer?
It had been eight days since Calandra had refused the magic suppressing potions. The healer didn't try to force her to take them or anything. She simply brought in new potions every day and took away the old ones. Calandra found out why after the third day.
If she didn't take the purple potions her throat burned constantly. It was horrible, it felt like her entire neck was on fire. No matter how much water she drank, the fire would not go away. Swallowing made it worse, but Calandra couldn't stop herself from trying to swallow the fire lodged in her throat.
Some days she lay the cold stone floor with her neck stretched out against the tiles, just to try to get some relief. The healer thought Calandra would give in and take the potions herself, but Calandra knew the old woman's patience was wearing thin. She could outlast her. She would outlast her.
No healer came that day. Or the next day. Or the day after that. Six more days went by and still no healer came to Calandra's room. She walked around the room, delirious with the pain in her throat and thought about Sirius. She'd get him out. She'd beg the healer the next time she saw her. She'd do anything they asked. Anything at all, if they'd just let her talk to someone.