Twenty

To his much-needed relief, the nightmares in the days that followed didn't seem to be as distressing. Though whether it was because he was already used to them or had accepted their presence, he wasn't sure. I wanted to do frontier medicine, not to revisit my lack of knowledge in neurosciences.

Odo paid him a visit two days after the paralysis had begun to dissipate, running through a summary of what had happened upon their infiltration of the holosuites. Martin had been successfully taken into custody, though it would be several days before a transport to Earth for his trial was available. Although polite and professional in his manner (as usual), Julian could tell that Odo was uncomfortable; it was almost as if Odo was afraid of him.

Before the constable could make a hasty exit, Julian took the time to scribble what he hoped were some comforting words: I don't blame you for not getting to us sooner, Odo. Martin made your job impossibly difficult.

Odo had given the doctor a hint of a grateful smile before making his departure.

It was almost two weeks after he'd first awoken from his coma before he'd finally been discharged from the infirmary, though part of him wondered they even bothered to release him when he was confined to a hoverchair and still needed continual support for daily living. The medical side of his brain tried to continually remind him that it was an essential part of the recovery process for one to be in a familiar and 'homely' environment, though the rest of him found it humiliating to need someone by his side almost every waking hour.

A small but selfish part of him was glad it was Jadzia helping him.

He had made a considerable amount of progress while in the infirmary, and he didn't want to let that go unnoticed. If it hadn't been for an insistent (and almost aggressive) Jadzia, he would've tried to walk back to his quarters, yet he remained unable to express those thoughts and was pushed into a hoverchair for the journey. The fact that my legs will cooperate but not my voice…Wouldn't surprise me if Martin deliberately engineered it like that.

The speech therapist was on his doorstep less than an hour after he returned to his quarters, and he mutely fought off Jadzia's attempts to keep him in the hoverchair so as to answer the door chime. A middle-aged female, Julian had never encountered Donna before - he'd certainly never met a speech therapist from Betazed, of all places - but found that he was skeptical after she laid our her ideal treatment plan for him.

"I'm eager to get started, Doctor," Donna iterated firmly, "because the longer we wait, the longer it will take for you to regain what you've lost control of."

Yeah. Don't remind me.

For some infuriating reason, the only part of his body that seemed to remain paralysed were his vocal cords. No matter how hard he'd tried in the infirmary, he couldn't get any sort of sounds to emerge. Part of him wondered how speech therapy was supposed to be helpful when he couldn't speak at all, but he kept his thoughts private and decided it would be best to pay heed to Donna's advice.

Two hours later he received a similar speech from J'ovian, the Vulcan physiotherapist, and had to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes when discussing his treatment. I guess I should be grateful I can roll my eyes now.

God, they really did mean it when they said doctors make the worst patients.

Unfortunately for Julian, it seemed he couldn't hide his displeasure from J'ovian well enough, for the Vulcan's eyebrows perked up. "Is something you disagree with about this treatment plan, Doctor?"

Julian wasn't sure whether to shake his head or nod. I can't exactly tell you what I think of it, but yes. Surely we can speed things up a bit? What is this station going to do without a CMO? People will need my help!

"Try mouthing it, Julian," Dax encouraged quietly. "Donna said that was a good place to start."

Stop patronising me, Dax. I look like a fool enough as it is. Julian sighed, instantly feeling regret at the mental insult. He found himself staring at a patch of carpet as he focused his effort on shaping his lips, the amount of strain required to do so surprising him. His zygomaticus, masseter and orbicularis orls felt as though they were made of stone, sending minor signals of pain along his jaw as he worked.

When his lips began seizing halfway through his sentence, he shook his head and released an angry sigh, his hands grasping the arms of the hoverchair. This is ridiculous.

J'ovian gave him the equivalent of a compassionate Vulcan stare. "Take your time, Doctor."

After letting his anger dissipate, Julian fidgeted uselessly with his fingers. Eventually, he gave up on what he'd originally planned to express, and settled on the shortest response possible, praying that the others would be able to figure out what he meant. "Too…long…"

J'ovian nodded slightly. "I'm sure you of all people, Doctor, will appreciate this will not be instantaneous. I will not drag this process out any longer than necessary, but you cannot achieve a complete recovery so quickly, and you run the risk of causing damage that may set you back."

Julian let out a heavy sigh as he reluctantly nodded. I don't really have a say in this, but fine. Let's get on with it then.

Satisfied with his patient's response, J'ovian rose from his seat. "Now then. Shall we begin with some stretches?"

I feel like a goldfish.

Dax stared at the message on Julian's pad as she set down a cup of tea, her brow furrowed in confusion. "A fish? How?"

Deciding this was one of the few times actions would speak louder than words, Julian threw aside what was left of his pride and uselessly flapped his lips open and closed in an exaggerated fashion. The movement caused his jaw to spasm painfully, and he found himself massaging it for the fiftieth time that week. I'm never doing Donna's speech therapy regime again.

Nodding in understanding, Jadzia sat herself next to the doctor, removing his hand as to massage his jaw for him. "Julian, it's nothing to be ashamed of-"

He interrupted with a harsh sigh, deciding he needed to at least attempt to communicate normally. "I…feel…stupid." Julian quickly regretted the attempt, as attempting to form an 'f' only resulted in further discomfort. During his speech therapy session earlier that morning, he and Donna had come to work out which particular movements were causing him the most pain to form. His 'homework' was to practice attempting to form those sounds in isolation, without trying to use them in a full sentence.

"I know I keep saying this, Julian, but it is okay," Dax grasped his jaw, gently tilting his head upwards to make eye contact. "Your body's been through an extraordinary amount of trauma; it's not going to get better overnight."

Before Julian could interrupt with another irritated sigh, Jadzia brought his hand to the mug of tea sitting on the coffee table. "And don't think you're getting out of your physio tonight, mister. Let's start with drinking the tea."

The doctor reluctantly complied, grasping the warm cup and lifting it to his mouth. He'd never realised how autonomous the act of drinking and swallowing were to adults, and it frustrated him to no end that he was having to learn how to have a cup of Tarkelian tea again.

He pressed the rim of the cup to his lips and attempted to pour the liquid into his mouth, only for some of it to miss entirely and drip down his chin. "Ahhah!"

Julian dropped the cup, hurriedly trying to brush the burning tea off of his newly-healed skin. Ouch ouch ouch, why did she make the computer brew it with boiling water-

WAIT A MINUTE.

His eyes widened as he raised a shaking hand to his larynx, touching the skin with delicacy to avoid provoking the new burns. He turned to Dax, a smile rapidly spreading across his face. "My…voice!"

Dax's eyes were just as wide as his, only filled with tears of joy. "Julian! Quick, let me get a tricorder and dermal regenerator!"

Jadzia sprinted out of his quarters so quickly that he barely registered what had happened. He was still stunned, his fingertips dancing idly across his throat. Finally, some actual progress…