This chapter picks up right where the previous one left off. Thank you for the kind comments! :)
Amanda continues to stare at the suggestive message on her screen, the device slicked with sweat in her shaking hand, and tries to formulate an appropriate response either through text or by speaking, blowing out a frustrated breath when she fails to come up with anything. She is quite tempted to send a return message that is blatantly honest and has to stop herself from typing "I'm horny too" into her phone, knowing full well how inappropriate it would be to enable Olivia's lewd behavior while the older woman isn't in her right mind.
There is a tinge of sadness that accompanies Amanda's rampant desire, achingly aware that Olivia is only acting this way as a consequence of the drugs and that she likely feels nothing more than friendship toward her subordinate. This heartbreaking awareness, along with the need to stop being a distraction for Olivia and let her get some sleep, propels Amanda into a sitting position on the floor as she decides that it would be a better idea to go out to the living room and rest on the couch.
She freezes suddenly on the tiles when soft, off-key singing starts drifting down from the bed above her, recognizing a song she used to listen to as a teenager and giggle with her friends about as they sang along to the racy lyrics.
"I don't want anybody else. When I think about you, I touch myself."
"Olivia, what you are doing up there?" Amanda demands with no small amount of alarm and arousal, deliberately turning her head away and staring at the wall so she doesn't accidentally catch a glimpse of something she shouldn't be seeing.
"Remember when I told you how I like to take off all my clothes and drink wine when I get home from the precinct?" a coy voice responds, Amanda tilting her head to the side with a wary frown.
"Yes, I certainly do," she replies dryly, rubbing a fist over her tired eyes and keeping her gaze trained firmly on the wall, knowing that she will never forget hearing about her boss' startling post-work activities. "I'm surprised you actually remember telling me that, though, considering how much medication you're on right now."
"Oh, I remember, Mandy. And do you want to know what else I like to do?" Olivia's tone is husky and flirtatious, Amanda wiping a shaking arm over her damp forehead as the ache between her legs grows even stronger.
"Well, I think I can hazard a guess," she murmurs as a ragged intake of breath sounds above her and she tries not to picture what is going on beneath those blankets, feeling somewhat panicked as that need to flee becomes more pronounced. "Look, Olivia, I think it would be better if I went out to the living room for a few hours so we can both get some rest, okay? Sharing your bedroom doesn't seem to be working out very well for us."
"Why isn't it working out?" As if a switch has been flipped, Olivia's voice instantly changes from sultry to wounded like her feelings have been deeply hurt, all movement on the mattress ceasing and Amanda rolling her eyes in exasperation.
"Do I really need to answer that question, Liv? I think you can figure it out for yourself." Amanda makes sure to keep her tone light and breezy, only gently chastising her lieutenant instead of being downright stern, aware that Olivia is extremely sensitive at the moment and is taking everything she says far too personally. "I want to keep an eye on you and make sure you're okay, but I think it would be best if I give you some privacy for a little while."
Amanda's jeans are pasted to her legs with sweat and she desperately tries to suppress the urge to pull the zipper down and reach her fingers inside to relieve the growing tension between her thighs, squirming uncomfortably on the floor before struggling to her feet. She keeps her gaze averted from the bed and tries not to imagine the nude body of her lieutenant splayed out beneath the covers, Olivia's own fingers doing god knows what under there.
"Do you want some wine, Mandy?" Olivia's voice has that silky smooth quality once again, like she has already forgotten that Amanda is abandoning her in favor of escape, her drug-addled brain swinging from one thought to the next with lightning-quick speed.
"No," Amanda replies firmly, even though the prospect of downing not only a glass of wine but possibly the entire bottle, is not unappealing to her at the moment.
"Well, can you get me some?"
"Olivia, you have narcotics in your system. You can't mix them with alcohol," Amanda groans with a mixture of frustration and exhaustion, trying it ignore the drawn-out whine of protest from the brunette that sounds in response.
"Aww, you're no fun. I didn't expect you to be such a party pooper, Mandy."
"Oh, Olivia, this is definitely not a party," Amanda laughs tiredly, her gaze accidentally straying over to the bed and noticing that her boss is watching her very intently.
"Well, it's a slumber party, isn't it? Because you slept over?" Olivia's head is cocked to the side and a deep frown is pulling her eyebrows together as she seems to be thinking quite hard about this scenario. "And since it's a slumber party, we should probably share the bed. We can gossip and tell jokes and ghost stories and stuff. That's what you do at a sleepover, isn't it?"
"Liv, it's been a very long time since I've had a sleepover with a friend, so I don't really remember," Amanda replies with a muffled laugh as she scrubs her hands over her face. "And we can't share a bed when you're not wearing any clothes."
"But I like being naked."
"I know you do," Amanda sighs as she wobbles slightly on legs that are trembling with fatigue and the aftermath of her bout with the flu. "And that's perfectly fine, Liv. You should be able to do what you want in your own apartment and maybe I've been too strict with you since I got here, but you deserve some privacy if you want to stay naked."
"Is that all we are?" Olivia asks abruptly, Amanda thrown off by this odd question that doesn't seem to make much sense and chancing another glance over at her boss, feeling extremely confused now.
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"You said it's been a long time since you've had a sleepover with a friend," Olivia clarifies in an unreadable tone, those penetrating dark eyes practically boring a hole right through her with the force of their intensity. "So is that all we are? Just friends?"
"Well, yes," Amanda hedges after a moment's pause, deciding to tread very carefully with the unexpected turn this discussion has taken and not let on just how deep her feelings go. "You're my lieutenant and I'm your detective, but I also consider us to be friends."
"Oh. Well, okay." Olivia sounds quite disappointed by this answer and Amanda's curiosity is piqued, her heart swelling with a sudden hope that she tries to push back down.
"I'm going to let you get some sleep, Liv," she says softly, reminding herself once again that this conversation is likely a product of the heavy pain medication and nothing else "I'll be out in the living room if you need anything, but try to relax and get some rest, alright? And no more showers or baths, are we clear on that?"
"Yes, ma'am," Olivia replies in a serious tone, the older woman straightening up on the mattress and giving her a salute, Amanda's lips twitching with amusement as she turns away and that persistent arousal coiling low in her belly when she notices the blankets slip from Olivia's chest.
She studiously avoids looking at those perfect bare breasts and pads into the hallway while blowing out a prolonged breath, determined to get some much-needed rest even if sleep continues to elude her. Amanda is so hot and bothered by all of the uncharacteristic interactions with Olivia over the past several hours, that she cannot stand to wear clothing for even one more second, glancing around furtively before deciding to take a page from Olivia's book and strip almost everything off.
Once she sheds her shirt and jeans and makes sure to sling the garments over the back of the couch instead of leaving them in a messy pile on the floor like she usually does, Amanda stands there for a moment and closes her eyes, letting the cool air of the apartment wash over her trembling body. Her eyelids fly back open in alarm when she hears a creak from Olivia's bedroom, diving onto the couch and pulling a blanket from the armrest to quickly cover up the skimpy bra and panties set that she had thrown on in a hasty manner before rushing from her home in the middle of the night.
Amanda listens intently for a moment, prepared to chastise Olivia for getting out of bed yet again, but relaxes into the cushions when blessed silence descends over the apartment instead. Relieved that the older woman has finally calmed down and is actually being quiet, she settles deeper into the sofa even though she knows that she should be getting back up and putting the pajamas on that she had packed in her overnight bag, but Amanda's eyelids are drooping closed again before she can move.
Despite her earlier resolution to just give up on getting any more sleep, slumber comes swiftly now, extreme exhaustion and the remnants of her illness combining together to suck Amanda beneath the black veil of consciousness.
The sun is shining brightly through the windows and painting the walls with brilliant yellow light when Amanda awakens again, her brain muddled with confusion as it takes her a moment to remember where she is and what's going on. Sleepy blue eyes blink open with a frown when she feels a heavy weight against her chest, the body of another person pinning her to the cushions and pushing her down, rendering her completely helpless and unable shove the curvy figure away.
Panic is rising swiftly inside Amanda's chest and it takes her another moment to realize that it is just Olivia lying on top of her, spotting the older woman's cast propped beside her head on the pillow when her tired gaze darts around the room in an effort to make sense of things, Olivia's face tucked into her shoulder and a mess of dark hair spilling across Amanda's chest. The relief that begins to flood through her system instantly switches back to blatant panic when she recalls being too fatigued to change into her pajamas before falling asleep and guessing that Olivia has remained in the nude after Amanda had left her alone, based on what she can feel right now.
The other woman's bare skin is pressing right into her own, the bra and panties that Amanda had been wearing beneath her clothes barely enough to cover her private parts, and she doesn't even have to peek beneath the blanket they are sharing to know that Olivia's intimate areas are about to be put on full display again if they so much as shift positions on the couch. Amanda is completely torn as that familiar desire makes itself known again in the pulsing sensation between her legs and the moisture that is pooling in her underwear, and a small part of her wants to stay just the way they are, curled up together on the cushions like the loving couple she so desperately wants them to be.
But knowing how wrong it is to continue snuggling with the other woman while they are both in similar states of undress and Olivia not in her right mind due to the pain medication, Amanda decides that it would be best to wake her up, steeling herself for the probable mortification that is about to come.
"Liv," she hisses frantically, unable to keep her voice calm as she shakes the brunette's uninjured shoulder gently, making sure not to jostle her too much and trying to ignore the way their breasts are touching. "You need to wake up right now."
Olivia is silent and still on top of her, the lieutenant appearing dead to the world as Amanda struggles to suck in a deep breath, and it takes several attempts before she finally begins to stir, Olivia letting out a prolonged groan and shifting against Amanda in a way that has her gritting her teeth to keep her heightening arousal at bay.
"Amanda?" Olivia's slack face appears from where it has been buried in her shoulder, the neat line of stitches standing out on the pale skin of her forehead and sleep lines creasing her bruised cheeks. "What's going on?"
Amanda simultaneously becomes aware of two things; Olivia's proper use of her first name, the only time the older woman hasn't referred to her as "Mandy" since coming home from the hospital, and the muffled sound of her phone buzzing in the bedroom. Realizing that she must have forgotten the device in her haste to escape the erotic activity that had been taking place underneath Olivia's covers earlier, she squints at the clock on the wall, the blurry numbers informing her that it's getting close to noon.
There is a vague thought floating through Amanda's mind; a dull insistence probing at the corners of her brain and trying to remind her that she is supposed to do something important but has forgotten what it was. Her scattered thoughts are interrupted by the loud gasp that sounds right beside her ear, the noise seemingly a combination of embarrassment and pain, and she cranes her neck to get a better look at Olivia.
"Oh my god, my wrist hurts," the older woman whimpers loudly, one leg moving between Amanda's thighs and pressing deliciously against her core when Olivia shifts again, Amanda quickly stifling an aroused groan and trying to edge slightly away. "And my shoulder is killing me. I feel like I've been hit by a bus."
It is quite obvious that the pain meds are beginning to wear off and that Olivia hadn't taken another dose while Amanda has been sleeping, and the prospect of coming face to face with her now-sober lieutenant leaves her feeling relieved and terrified at the same time. They are in such a ridiculously compromising position, Olivia's bare skin pressing so tantalizingly into her own, and Amanda scrambles to say something, anything at all, to ease the extreme embarrassment and give an explanation for the situation, although she has no idea why or when Olivia had crept out to the living room to join her on the couch.
"I was having bad dreams," Olivia suddenly murmurs as if she has been reading her detective's mind and is remembering what had happened when they had parted ways, a hint of that immature vulnerability still evident in her tone. "I was in the emergency room and the doctor was trying to put this giant needle in my arm, and when I woke up, you weren't there and I had to find you."
"I came out here to let you get some rest," Amanda reminds the older woman gently, stroking tentative fingers through wild tangles of dark hair, Olivia's gaze locking with her own and the two of them staring intently at each other. "You needed some sleep and it wasn't going to happen while we were sharing a room."
"I'm not wearing any clothes," Olivia whispers as the murky quality of her voice is replaced with a mixture of horror and curiosity, an unreadable emotion simmering underneath. "I'm naked. And I think you are too."
"I'm wearing underwear," Amanda mumbles with a shrug, knowing this isn't much of a consolation as she bites her lip and bright spots of color bloom on her cheeks. "I didn't intend for us to wake up this way, Liv, I swear. I fell asleep before I could change into my pajamas and I didn't know you had come out here."
Before Olivia can respond, they are startled by a sudden aggressive knock at the apartment door and Amanda's phone buzzing again from the bedroom, and it comes to her so swiftly that she almost falls off the couch with the memory; mouthing an "Oh, shit" as a key rattles in the lock and she recalls telling her colleagues that they could come over at lunchtime. She guesses there are a string of text messages and missed calls awaiting her on the phone, and is helpless to do anything more than yank the blanket up around their shoulders and try to cover as much of their entwined forms as possible before they are interrupted.
"Damn it," Amanda hears Olivia mutter under her breath as the door swings open and Fin and Carisi come charging inside like men on a mission, concern and fear written across both of their faces as their gazes swing around the living room and finally land on the two women molded together on the cushions.
"What the hell?" Fin stutters out, the older man looking completely stunned at what he sees and his normally cool and collected attitude nowhere to be found as he comes to an abrupt halt in his tracks, Carisi nearly bumping into him from behind. "Is this why you haven't been answering your phone, 'Manda? You guys are getting busy with each other on the couch while Carisi and I have been worried sick because we couldn't get ahold of either one of you? I had to use my emergency key to make sure you were both still alive in here!"
He squints over at them in clear judgment of their choice of activity while Carisi just stands there awkwardly, the Italian detective staring in slack-jawed and red-faced amazement. "I had no idea there was something going on between the two of you, but couldn't you guys have at least waited until Liv was feeling better before doing this? She must be in a lot of pain."
"Yes, I am in a lot of pain," Olivia barks out in a stern voice that has the men straightening up and listening closely and Amanda sinking down further into the cushions in a puddle of mortification. "And we weren't getting busy, as you so eloquently put it, Fin. We just woke up and things are a bit confusing right now. We're trying to figure out what's going on."
Fin at least has the decency to blush and mumble an apology as Carisi shifts back and forth from one foot to the other and chokes out something unintelligible that no one can hear, the younger man looking like he would rather be absolutely anywhere else at the moment. Amanda's heart is pounding at Olivia's angry reaction and the look of pain on her face, taking the chance and running a soothing hand over the soft bare skin of the brunette's back, the gesture hidden by the blanket and concealing them from the prying eyes of their teammates.
She feels Olivia relax slightly against her chest at the light touch, and her own spike of anger makes itself known when Fin begins speaking again. "We're not the only ones who've been trying to reach you guys. Carisi and I spent the morning at the precinct and Kim called a few times, looking for you, 'Manda. She said something about needing to borrow a lot of money."
"Argh, for fuck's sake," Amanda grits out through clenched teeth, rolling her eyes at the pure absurdity and annoyance of this situation; curled up naked with her boss on the couch while their colleagues stand there in judgmental confusion and her little sister carries on with her usual foolishness, acting like her regular self while everything else seems to be falling apart.
She does not have the time or energy to deal with her wayward sibling's constant issues at the moment, and resolves to call Kim later on when she is fully dressed and not trapped beneath the nude body of her lieutenant under the watchful gazes of Fin and Carisi, although the younger of the two men now appears to be trying desperately to look anywhere but directly at them. Fin's arms are crossed over his chest and his brows are deeply furrowed as he seems to be contemplating what to say or do next, and finally just throws his hands up in the air in frustration and stands there in silence.
For a long, awkward moment the entire group is completely quiet, not a single sound to be heard inside the apartment, and Amanda listens to the faint noises of people and traffic outside as she can't help wishing that she was out there with them, away from this messy situation and the mistaken assumptions of her squad. A soft hiss of pain from Olivia brings her back to the present circumstances and she rubs a concerned hand over her back again, trying to ignore how good the other woman's silky smooth skin feels against her palm.
"You need to take some more meds, Liv," she encourages gently, arching a questioning eyebrow at the swift shake of Olivia's head.
"I've clearly had far too many pills, if finding myself cuddled up naked with my subordinate is any indication of that." The brunette's voice is low and dry, speaking right into Amanda's ear and obviously trying to keep the male members of their team out of the conversation. "Certain...things ...are starting to come back to me about last night."
"Uhhh, maybe we should get going, Fin," Carisi speaks up in a tone that they are finally able to hear properly, the detective wringing his hands with palpable anxiety while he talks. "I think the ladies have some stuff to sort out and us being here is probably just making things worse."
"We're here because Amanda was supposed to text or call to let us know how things were going and if we could help out in any way," Fin grouses in response, although he looks just as eager to flee the apartment as his younger colleague does.
"We'll be fine by ourselves," Olivia announces firmly, her voice clipped and tense as the other woman bites off each word, a clear indication that despite the injuries she has suffered and the narcotics in her system, she is still the one in charge here and there is no room for argument. "Amanda and I need to have a discussion."
Amanda gulps hard at this serious proclamation and can't help longing for the previously goofy version of her superior, wishing to hear the endearing nickname "Mandy" once again, a moniker that would have irritated her if it had come from anyone else but fills her with warmth when she thinks of it now. A part of her wants nothing more than leap up from the couch and follow the rest of her squad from Olivia's home, making a frenzied bid for freedom and leaving her boss behind to spend the remainder of the day by herself, but she knows that she has to stay right where she is and make sure that Olivia will be okay.
Amanda is fully aware that it's best to just be honest about everything that has occurred over the course of the past several hours, and that she needs to admit her feelings for Olivia and find out if the older woman feels the same way or if her strange, provocative behavior was simply a product of the drugs. As she lays there sprawled beneath the beautiful figure of her lieutenant, Olivia breathing hard against her and a combination of confusion, embarrassment and vulnerability that pulls on Amanda's heartstrings playing over her features, she chastises herself for the arousal that is still creeping just below the surface.
She is head over heels for this woman and has felt that way for a long time now, and as Fin and Carisi shuffle uncomfortably from the apartment, mumbling more apologies for bursting in so suddenly, Amanda gives another nervous gulp and braces herself for whatever is about to happen next.