The Incursor Project

by JanSL

Hobo meets a pseudo-gamer system.

2. Hustling, Devils and Undeath

AN: I have nothing to blame for the shit update schedule, really. I could blame F/GO legally, perhaps.

Enjoy the chapter.

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HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK

…

HOOOOOOOO- HOOOOOOOOOOONK

…

HOO- HOO- HOOO- HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK

With a startle, I jumped from my sleeping spot, my eyes wide open and drool falling from my mouth… then I groaned.

"Fucking car horns."

I blinked the sleep away from my eyes, rubbing them and groaning as the chatter and car traffic of the morning filled Kuoh, and thus inevitably, the dirty alleyway I decided to take a nap in.

My eyes felt quite heavy, and honestly I felt like shit.

Something I hadn't quite considered until the moment I had to try and sleep was that I can't close my eyes. I could close the ones in my body, sure, and my vision would go black, but I still had an almost theoretically infinite amount of eyes covering each and every nook and cranny in a 12 meter radius.

Even considering I had constant HD-VISION of my surroundings, getting sleepy and drifting off was possible. The problem was that by design, Eyes Everywhere freaked out whenever something moved within the radius and I was unconscious.

Through the night and thanks to Eyes Everywhere, I got woken up by 7 cockroaches, 3 rats and 2 drunk people walking by.

It wasn't a good night, and the less was said about the piss-stained (possibly cum-stained) alleyway I had to rest my head at, the better.

My sleep wasn't helped by the fact I had to do extensive reading while in my dreams.

Ugh, I sincerely hoped that I could at least do that level-up business without having to be sleeping. Rest was called rest for a reason, dammit!

With one last grumble, I stood up.

…God, my muscles were as sore as a bitch.

It was to be expected, though. I practically walked through half the town by foot and not to mention that last surge of adrenaline at the end of the day. I really didn't want to encounter more of those demons. Just remembering her body made me sick.

Trying to distract myself, I took out my gun from my trousers. As soon as the weight was on my hands, I suddenly felt so much more at… at ease, yes. I felt completely at ease with the gun.

Staring at it, I decided to try something out.

I twirled it- No, no, that's not right.

With focus, I began to [Stylish Twirl] my gun, and the gun started to spin in place.

As if I had been practicing for hundreds of hours, my fingers make the gun spin and Whoosh, and despite how unlikely it'd seem for a gun of this type to simply be used for spinning (one'd think first of a revolver for such purposes), the M1911 perfectly and seamlessly kept on spinning.

After five seconds of this, I felt it. I felt myself grow stronger. A [Perfect Stack] got created.

Without stopping the twirl, I frowned. So, this buffed me? Did I give the bullet an extra-punch how exactly? By thinking very hard?

I was half-tempted to shoot the gun right then and there, but it was time to address a major problem.

Bullets ran out, eventually.

While I could simply throw things and they'd still probably kill someone, I needed to start worrying about giant man-eating demons now. A pebble wouldn't cut it.

…

A problem for later, it seemed.

Uncaring, my fingers made the M1911 keep spinning in my hands, and after some seconds I felt more boosted than before. 5 [Stacks] were now accumulated.

Stylishly, I end the twirling by pocketing the gun in my trousers swiftly. My 5 [Stacks], now that they weren't being actively kept alive by the [Twirl], disappeared.

Alright, so I could accumulate those [Stacks] off-battle, but as soon as I stopped piling them up they disappeared. Fair enough, I guess. It did mean that I could spend 30 hours spinning my gun in a corner like a moron and instantly kill Satan.

…Shit, I thought that as a joke but if there's no upper-limit on the stacks, then that was actually a possibility. The only thing that could hinder that would be my very human fingers that still got tired after spinning a gun like a moron.

I chewed my lip.

Those body-enhancement upgrades were looking mighty attractive all of a sudden. The prospect of spending hours performing [Stylish Twirling] to insta-kill those atrocities was one I didn't mind in the slightest.

Alright, so I needed to get more bullets (or an alternative) and more of those credits to buy myself some body-enhancements. The first item could be solved through the power of money, and considering that there are filthy fucking demons walking among us, I had no problem spending the rest of my savings on it.

The second item was a bit more troublesome.

I had no clue how to gather more of those… credits. None of the leaflets provided said anything about the gathering method, and so far there had been no chance to visit the Y$W$ EMPORIUM again. Honestly, I had-

As soon as those thoughts ran through my head, a small pop rang out in the alleyway, and a small piece of white paper appeared from thin air, softly drifting into the dirty alleyway.

Catching it as it fell down, I glanced at the words written in that weird angelic language that seemed incomprehensible, before they seamlessly turned to perfect English.

ERROR 301.
INCURSOR ATTEMPTED TO CALL THE Y$W$ EMPORIUM WHILE STILL BEING LOCKED.
FURTHER ATTEMPTS OF THIS KIND WILL NOT RECEIVE ERROR REPORTS.

(NOTE: FOR COMMANDS AVAILABLE TO USE, REVIEW THE 'INFO' SECTION.)

I frowned. Having the whole emporium locked kind of put an indefinite hold on the body-enhancement plan. Still, at least now I knew that I could use 'commands', whatever that meant.

My eyes widened a bit as a new line of angelic text formed itself on the paper, as if by magic.

(THE ERROR REPORT WILL AUTOMATICALLY SELF-DESTRUCT IN 5 SECONDS.)

I threw the slip of paper in the opposite direction hurriedly as soon as I read the message, and soon enough, the paper consumed itself in a burst of bright yellow fire, silently and suddenly leaving no traces of the message ever existing.

…Aight, let's check that fucking info section.

Closing my eyes (on instinct really, considering I still saw completely everything) I thought loudly.

INFO.

Again from thin air and with a soft pop, a piece of paper appeared, this one the size of a leaflet some poor soul would give you while walking through the streets only for it to end up in a garbage can somewhere, if not on the street itself.

I caught the paper and read the contents, all written in angeliquese, soon translating itself. It was a folded leaflet and on the cover it read "INFO".

Opening it, I see on one side my so-called 'Character Sheet', and on the other side I see what I was looking for.

AVAILABLE COMMANDS:

INFO

The paper ended there, that was it.

…Alright, the body-enhancement would just have to wait. Pieces of fucking shit.

If gathering Y$W$ for buying steroids was out of the picture, then all I had left for strengthening myself was to LEVEL UP. That required me to gather XP, and the way I gathered a whole lot of XP yesterday was…

…

For fuck's sake, I really didn't want to start hunting those demons for XP, it seemed like a good way to go kill myself in a hurry.

Still, I DID have that whole Darksign business going on, so I could at least try to hunt some and, if shit went south, I'd still be fine… in theory, at least. Preferably, I wouldn't die in the first place, because it didn't seem that it would be a particularly pleasant experience. Honestly, perhaps being a homeless wouldn't be so-

I slapped myself on the face.

"NO!" I yelled, like a fucking madman alone in a shady alleyway. "I AM NOT GOING TO KEEP BEING A FUCKING HOBO. I WILL BE RICH, HANDSOME, HAVE A FUCKING MANSION AND WILL ALSO BE OMNIPOTENT. FUCK! FUCK!"

With one final slap, I screamed to nothing, spat on the floor, and drummed on my chest like a gorilla.

"LET'S FUCKING GO! FUCK!"

ALRIGHT, FUCK IT! I NEEDED TO FUCKING HUSTLE, BECAUSE THOSE 40 BUCKS I HAD LEFT WEREN'T GONNA CUT IT. FUCK!

Mind now completely set on fucking HUSTLING, I thought about what I could do to get some cash.

…Trying to test something, I grabbed a nearby pebble with my right hand.

I then threw it towards my other hand, catching it without much trouble.

Hmmm.

Again, from my left hand, I threw it towards my other hand. But this time, instead of throwing it, I shoot the pebble towards my other hand, making sure to not make the shooting power too strong.

With a zoom! The pebble gets shot at a high speed towards my opposite hand, the act now a whole lot more showy.

Idly, I felt a [Perfect Stack] form for a second, only for it to instantly disappear. Right, since I wasn't in combat, my [Perfect Shots] produced stacks, but they went away as soon as they came.

Okay, good, good. It hurt my hand a little, but it wasn't that bad. Now for the definite test.

Again, I throw the pebble to my other hand, but this time, instead of a straight line towards it, I shoot it with a wide arc above me.

Of course, since Sharpest Shooter is active, the pebble travels the arc perfectly landing on my hand flawlessly, and as soon as it lands, I shoot it again to my other hand, and once I do, I shoot it with an arc again, and so on and so forth.

I was juggling. Well, sort of, it was only one item after all.

With a tap of my foot, I reach a nearby pebble I spotted with E.E and shoot it towards my hand. Catching it, I then start to repeat the process, now with two objects.

Without fail, I "shoot" the pebbles in the arc and pattern I want without any trouble, even with the added difficulty.

I then add another pebble. And another. And another. And another.

By the end of my test, my face had a disgusting smirk as I perfectly juggled six pebbles like some clown from the circus.

Oh yeah, this would help getting some sweet cash, even if it was spare change.

Nodding to myself, I dropped the juggling, making all of the pebbles fall gracelessly, and headed towards a department store that was nearby with a sickening smile. My objective was clear and money was on the horizon.

I was going to the fucking toy section and getting myself some proper fucking balls.

---

The Gremory heiress sighed in annoyance as another alleyway she checked turned up empty yet again. She had spent this entire Saturday morning scouring each and every shady place where a homeless person might decide to take a snooze, putting all of her active peerage on the task as well.

Evidently, the search wasn't going well. At all.

"You know, have you considered that maybe your potential new piece isn't, in fact, homeless?"

She groaned as her Queen made another unnecessary comment.

"He was drinking and smoking inside a public park at 11 PM. And although it's my opinion, he was looking ready to snooze there before the attack happened."

Akeno mockingly hummed as if considering her words, which only served to frustrate her more.

"It's a shame we can't put any of our familiars to work."

Rias agreed internally. Considering he managed to spot her own familiar, it seemed foolish to send more and possibly put him more on edge, and that's without taking into account he'd shoot the familiars into oblivion.

She sighed.

"Akeno, I'm not going back until I at least get a good look at him. He could very well be the piece I'm missing to win against him, and I'm not going to let such a chance run off without putting up a fight."

Her friend gave her a smile, this one more genuine and less mocking.

"Well, well, I understand, President. We'll keep searching for as long as-"

Suddenly, her words were cut-off as a small 'ping' went off from her phone.

In a hurry, Rias took her phone from her pocket and checked. A message from Kiba.

'Found him. Right in front of the Café in the plaza.'

She bolted out of the shit-stained alleyway instantly, Akeno following behind with an amused smile.

And soon enough, as she sprinted towards what was her best chance at freedom, she saw a crowd.

---

I was fucking hustling.

"Hey kid, grab this!"

As the rude onlooker threw the glasses case at me, I haphazardly managed to catch it and add it into my juggling rotation, now performing the trick with seven objects.

It was astonishing how much of a dipshit people inside a crowd could be. You didn't just throw shit at somebody just because he was performing, you assholes! If it wasn't for Eyes Everywhere and a whole lotta luck I would've dropped everything and failed the performance like an idiot! There's a difference between juggling things that I shoot myself and receiving objects thrown like shit from somebody else!

Still, despite the horrid behavior, I continued with the juggling with no complaints, offering instead a sharp smile to the sizable crowd that had formed.

"Easy Peasy! It doesn't matter what you throw, I can juggle it all the same!" After a pause I add. "Don't throw stuff again, though."

The crowd easily laughed as if I just told a joke. Pieces of shit, I was serious.

It was honestly impressive that this juggling bit actually worked. Maybe it was because I did this on a weekend, where there were more children walking around, or perhaps it was because my skin was darker (and thus, more of a novelty to see me do tricks like an animal in a zoo) but either way, the little hat by my feet (which I had to buy alongside the five balls I am currently juggling) was filled with coins and a few, but still precious bills.

Ah, this was some easy stuff. I would have to relocate for my next show, though. Maybe I could manage to sneak in one more in this exact same place, but soon enough the people would get bored of my antics, so gathering new public would be a necessity.

Problems for the future, though. Right now, I was HUSTLING!

And as I juggled and said people pleasing lines, Eyes Everywhere suddenly detects a new presence and-

"Oh shit," is what I couldn't help but say as perfection itself entered the 12 meter range of E.E.

Red crimson hair, curvaceous figure to a degree that it's simply fucking ridiculous, with ass and tits to fucking die for, wearing a short black skirt and a nice fashionable blouse, face so beautiful it almost seemed like it was fake, blue eyes that were zeroed in on me and giving me all of her undivided attention. ME.

Shit. Shit. Shit. What. What the fuck- What the fuck is a bonafide redhead doing in fucking Japan of all places!? Those weren't the features of an asian person, either! She looked like- like a European, right?! Like in the movies! And she was completely fucking focused on me!

Despite the bombshell that came straight out of a fucking walkway now focused on me, I keep my focus on the juggling and the people right before me. There was no need to lose focus. I had Eyes Everywhere and I could… ogle her all I wanted without garnering suspicion.

…Shit, she was wearing a skirt. Those legs looked fucking nice. Let me get a peek of-

"Catch this, gaijin!"

My mind snaps back to the HUSTLE as yet another fucking phone is thrown my way. PIece of fucking-

With a bit of struggle, almost dropping five balls, two phones and a glasses case to the cold pavement, I manage to add it to the juggling rotation almost seamlessly.

Holding back an avalanche of insults cursing all of my crowds' bloodlines, I instead give them a shaky smirk.

"Whoa there, should I take this as payment, man? You're all so generous in Japan!"

The sentence barely counted as a joke, let alone a funny one, but whether I had a hidden talent as a clown or maybe I looked funny to them juggling like a moron while speaking their language with an accent, they laughed all the same.

Dipshits… Oh, wait, the redhead's smiling too. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fu-

No, this was bad. What the fuck. I knew that having a harem of redheads was on the menu for later, but this- I wasn't expecting such a completely perfect woman to just appear.

While I had a crisis, the juggling kept on. Calm down, Daniel, she's just a random woman. A fucking superwoman, sure, but a rando nonetheless. After you're done fucking around she'll fuck off alongside the crowd and you'll be fine.

…Shit. I needed to get away from her. My focus was waning and if somebody threw another fucking phone at me I would actually lose it. This needed to stop pronto.

WIth some flourish, I stopped my juggling, letting the balls drop right by my feet without them rolling off into the horizon while keeping on my hands the phones and the case.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my show for the day! I hope you enjoyed it, and if you want to support this poor little gaijin that loves Japan, just a single yen can make my stay longer. Thanks for watching!"

After I do a kind of embarrassing bow, I hear the crowd clap merrily, some of them passing by the donation hat and dropping a coin or two, with a few bills from the more rich ones making their way there.

I did, sadly, have to hand back the phones and the case, reluctant as I was. I didn't want to get charged with robbery this early into the game.

Ah, this was a good hustle, and nothing went-

Why is the redhead approaching me?

As she approached, I did my best to NOT twist my head and look at her directly with my own two eyes, focusing instead on picking up my stuff and stuffing it into my backpack. I was sure my eyes would drift down fast if they saw her and I honestly didn't need more embarrassment right now. However, since she was approaching anyway, I did take a peek under her skirt with E.E, because what is omniscience if I can't abuse it when possible.

…Dear Lord, have mercy on me. They're black lace.

Perfection.

Eventually she did get close to me, to my donation hat, and with a warm smile put- Jesus fuck, those are two 10000 yen bills.

She just donated 140 fucking dollars to me.

Why.

Inevitably, I couldn't pretend she didn't exist anymore since the donation hat was right in front of me, and I looked up from my crouched position (since I was packing my stuff) at her, making super, super, super sure my eyes didn't go where they shouldn't… that's what E.E's for, which continued ogling her body.

I was forced to speak first, since she just donated a big fat fucking payday.

"Whoa, thanks ma'am, that's… that's a lot of money."

Truly, I didn't want to sound like a lil' homeless kid from England who just got paid with a crumb of fucking paper for shining a shoe, but I really couldn't help it. 140 bucks for juggling some balls and phones, from a fucking supermodel, too.

She smiled and spoke.

Her voice was just as pretty.

"You… You are very talented, despite your circumstances, yes?"

I keep a smile on my face to hide the dismay. Why did she want to have a fucking conversation?! Was this a punishment from God by dangling in front of me what I couldn't currently have!? FUCKING BASTARD! THOSE REDHEADS WERE GOING TO BE MINE AFTER I BECAME OMNIPOTENT AND RICH, THERE'S AN ORDER ASSHOLE!

Also, I knew I looked like shit, but I didn't appreciate how she instantly assumed I was in rough times with that comment… she was right, obviously, but I still didn't like it.

My voice remained pleasant, eyes still staring at her blue ones and definitely not at her tits, which was a task reserved for E.E.

"Oh well, it's just a lil' something I do to get a living, you know? I like to travel a lot."

The last part was a lie, I had never really traveled, but considering that I was now an 'Incursor', it meant that I would visit other worlds, allegedly. It was also true that, if my investigation on the school that I'd do tomorrow didn't work out, I was planning on skipping town to see if I could find something else to do, perhaps some other demons to kill.

She hummed at my answer.

"Ah, so you're a traveler. When did you arrive here?"

Alright, hot and perfect as she was, I didn't really like her being this nosy. Still, she just paid me 140 bucks, so I'll just indulge this rich person for a little bit instead of walking out or shouting some threats if those questions came from anyone else.

"Oh well, I arrived yes-" No, wait, if I said just yesterday I could become directly linked to the fucking demon I killed. Looked like a fucking bloodbath, and despite it not being reported in the newspaper for whatever reason, I still didn't want anyone to link me to that. Just to be safe.

"I arrived this Monday," I corrected, taking the hat and, with as much gratefulness as one can possibly show on their face without pleading 'thank you mister, thank you missus', I put it inside the bag.

Standing up and slinging the bag over my shoulder, I looked at the redhead. Christ, she was pretty. Internally, I set myself a goal to, when I was rich and omnipotent and handsome and could also shoot lasers from my eyes, get myself a girl like her.

A shame that she was a passing stranger, but that's life.

"Well, I'm very, very grateful for your donation. Honest. This is really going to help me and my travels."

As I started to turn around, giving her body, tits, ass and nipples one last ogling look with E.E, I felt her hand on my shoulder holding me back.

…Oi, who the fuck gave you permission to touch me.

"Ah, before you go, could you care to have a little talk with me? It won't take long, I promise you. Let's say that I'm very… interested in your talents."

This sounded sketchy. I really wouldn't mind talking with this hot stuff in any other situation, but I really wanted to find a demon and blow their heads out to level up. I also wanted to find someplace where I could get some more bullets, since guns were heavily controlled in Japan.

Despite how hot she was, the HUSTLE always came first.

"Sorry miss, but I have kind of a busy schedule…"

She pouted. Honest to God pouted. Hnnggg…

"Come on, I promise you'll be interested! I- Look, I can make it worth your while, okay?"

Before I could get a word out, she rummaged through her purse and pulled out her wallet.

"To prove that I truly mean that I'm interested in you, I'll pay you another 20000 yen if you come talk to me. You don't even have to say anything, please just hear me out, okay?"

She gave me a smile as she said this, producing two 10000 yen bills from her wallet.

…This…

Was too good to be true.

She was fucking playing me. She saw me and thought me for a FUCKING FOOL.

In a hurry, I scanned the area for anything, ANYTHING, that might signal danger for me. Nobody just fucking went around giving out money like this without some fucking scheme behind it. And I was a perfect target, too. A foreigner who probably nobody knows and is surely poor? Easy target. Easy money.

I was a walking bag of organs to sell.

And, proving me right, I spot unusual shit. With my very two eyes.

Making sure I watched them without fully turning my head and with a side-eye, I spotted three people watching our conversation from afar. A raven haired girl, of similar stupid proportions as the redhead. A blonde, who might be considered handsome. And a little fucking girl, with white hair and a blank expression. All three of them were zeroed in on my conversation with the redhead.

FUCK. NO.

"Miss, I really am busy, you see, I-"

As I tried to spin the most believable lie I could in a matter of seconds, I stopped using Eyes Everywhere to ogle her body and, instead, use it to examine her insides, and as disgusting as it was, I took a good look at her, to see if there's anything horrific inside like-

Wings.

She had fucking bat wings folded right by her waist.

SHE WAS A FUCKING DEMON.

It took everything from me to not grab the gun and shoot her head. I was in a public space, she looked normal to everybody else, and she had fucking reinforcements. I couldn't just do this shit.

If I followed her, maybe we'd go somewhere more quiet, but she'd still be accompanied by those other three demons. I really didn't want to test myself against three enemies at once right now, even with the mighty Darksign that apparently made me immortal, because…

Imagine if they didn't kill me and just captured me instead. Oh boy, that'd be the worst, and there'd be no escape.

I needed to run.

"-I just really am busy, okay? I appreciate the money, truly, but I have to go."

In a hurry, I turn around only for her to grab my shoulder again.

I don't turn around, but I still see with E.E how her beautiful face twisted into something akin to fear and pleading as she did.

"Please! Just- Let me have one conversation with you, okay? I could really, really use your help. Please…"

There was this beautiful, perfect girl hanging onto my shoulder, and she looked so, so pleading, just for little old me…

LIAR. FUCKING DEMON. PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT. I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU.

It really was hard not to reach for my gun.

I didn't bother saying anything else to her, I just pushed forth and started sprinting through the plaza and through the large amount of people enjoying their Saturday, trying to find anywhere safe to shoot.

Rooftop. Rooftop. I needed a rooftop. A secluded rooftop. The moment that fucking redhead and her goons decided to come look for me I'd shoot a bullet in both of their eyes and give them a taste of lead.

I kept running with focus, searching for any tall apartment building. Those pieces of shit were NOT going to get the drop of me. They were NOT.

Pieces of shit. I would not get killed by demons. I was going to fucking hunt them down.

---

She stared disappointed as her potential salvation just ran away from her.

Soon enough, the rest of her peerage approached her with pitying faces.

"That…" began Yuuto. "Didn't go well."

Understatement of the year.

"I… I don't understand," she said, after some pause. "It was going so well, and then he just ran away like a scared animal."

"Well," began Akeno, and Rias already sensed she wouldn't enjoy whatever opinion came out of her mouth. "Perhaps offering him that much money from the get-go looked a bit suspicious to him."

"Wha- But he's homeless! He needs the money, I'm trying to help him!"

That's how it worked, right?! She had done many deals before, and she always closed them! You offer something, the other party offers something back, and everyone's happy! Right?

Right!?

As if sensing her train of thought, Akeno tilted her head and hummed.

"Well, you clearly meant well, but… well, if some random stranger just came up to you and offered you a big bag of money, I don't think a lot of people would just take it. Sure, some might, but a lot of them will just wonder 'what's the catch?'"

Rias frowned at her explanation. It was quite obvious, really, but still…

Despite herself, the words came out of her mouth.

"But if I went and offered a bag of money, you know that most people would just take it, right?"

She wasn't oblivious to how her appearance influenced people, and she knew that most would likely trust her because of how she looked. That was the case at school, at her deals, in the devil world…

The entire recruitment plan to get Issei Hyodou to her side was to basically seduce him, and considering the reputation he had, she was sure it'd work.

She chewed her lip. She heavily miscalculated with him. What would've normally worked on anybody else simply had no effect.

"I didn't even get his name."

Her frown deepened at the realization of how deeply she messed up her first conversation with the potential new piece.

Throughout the entire conversation with him, he, not for a single second, looked anywhere else besides her eyes. He kept his focus trained entirely on her face and nowhere else, and although it could be considered a bit depressing, that was something that she wasn't used to receiving from anyone that wasn't from her peerage or family.

It made her want him on her peerage even more.

However, this interaction highlighted a glaring problem with her, specifically.

"Akeno."

"Yes?"

"I have no clue on how to recruit someone to my peerage."

All of her pieces became hers due to simple circumstances. She saved them. True. But even then she never had the necessity to do an actual recruitment of pieces on her own, they were just… handed to her.

She shook her head. That was a bad train of thought. She loved each and every member of her peerage, and she didn't regret saving them in the slightest, but it was a fact that she had simply been lucky to have such wonderful pieces with her.

And luck wasn't going to cut it if she wanted to get him on her peerage.

Normally, she would've retreated for the day and made plans for tomorrow, but after he told her that he was a traveler, she knew that she had little time left. Any moment he could go and disappear forever, running off to who knows where and leaving her with not even a name to track him.

She needed to recruit him today.

"Koneko, Yuuto. Start searching for him again, you can use your familiars if you have to, but look for him. Akeno, look for him from the sky, maybe he went to a rooftop or somewhere similar. Use a minor veil to cover yourself from any onlookers. The moment you find him, call me and I'll teleport there. Clear?"

The three of them nodded dutifully, quickly leaving her side and following her orders.

As for herself…

Well, he ran, but he must've attracted some attention while doing so. She'd try to piece together where he went by asking any passerby that was near his path. If he never stopped running, then she would inevitably find him.

"I'll make you part of my family, and I'll make sure you never spend another night sleeping on the street."

He'd lend her his power, and she'd give him a home. A family.

…Hopefully he'd be willing to accept her help.

---

"YES, YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT, COME HERE! I'M WAITING FOR YOUR HOT PIECE OF ASS, COME HERE AND LET ME SHOOT YOU, YOU FUCK- AGH!"

I coughed as the vitriol made me choke on my own spit. With a few punches to my chest and some painful coughs, I managed to catch my breath.

The wait was driving me a bit insane.

Sitting on the rooftop of a lone apartment building, cigarette on (a most definitely steady) hand and a loaded gun in the other, I was waiting for the- the fucking DEMON TROUPE to come knocking.

I was fucking livid. A perfect redheaded goddess and it turned out she was a fucking demon in disguise. Oh, she'd fucking pay for that, and she'd do so by taking some lead right in her fucking brain, and if I could help it I'd fucking take the scooby gang she had down with her. They were all going to PAY.

…For clarity's sake, this vitriol was more for the crime of being a filthy fucking man-eating demon, not pretending to be a hot redhead, but still, it did anger me. She had tried to take me for a fucking FOOL, and I wasn't going to let that slide.

I took a deep breath. I didn't choose the rooftop as my battlefield for any random reason, there actually was a strategy.

FIRST: the rooftop could only be accessed from one door… if they couldn't fly, which considering they had bat wings, was quite possible. HOWEVER, even with those, having them flying in the air made it easier for me to hit a vital organ on their spine or neck, so it was beneficial in the end.

SECOND, and frankly, the most important right now: If shit went south and they wanted to capture me… I could kill myself.

I was right beside the ledge, it would only take one little jump and I'd fall straight through fifteen stories until hitting the pavement and dying horribly. I'd made sure that I would throw myself off into a dumpster though, because honestly I wasn't sure if after reviving I'd even keep the clothes I had, let alone my precious gun.

But why not kill yourself with the gun?

Because if I killed myself with a gun, then it'd be piss-easy to steal all my shit before reviving. If the demons ate my body and ignored my things, it'd still be a pain to get them back because they'd be located on a fifteenth floor.

I swallowed spit. Fucking hell, I wished those fucking things would come knocking soon so I could fucking die fast and return to HUSTLING again.

As if answering my prayers, Eyes Everywhere suddenly picked up something. A group of people climbed the stairs up onto the rooftop. It was the redhead and her troupe… but there was one missing, the black haired one.

Paranoically, I look around my with my own two eyes and-

She's flying. The piece of fucking filth was flying above two buildings besides me, way too far for either Eyes Everywhere or Sharpest Shooter to do anything about it. She was the one who spotted me.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Eventually, the FUCKING DEMONS, reached the door to the rooftop. I could see with E.E how the redhead had a look of determination on her face.

"I will step in. Please, let's just talk."

I clutched my gun harder, and I started the [Stylish Twirl].

"ONE STEP HERE AND I'LL FUCKING BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!"

My threat had the intended effect, she stopped herself from opening the door… but I saw her face twist into a pained expression.

Why. Why were you making that expression? I couldn't fucking see it, there was no purpose in faking emotions if I wasn't able to see it, dipshit. You fucking sucked at this.

"Please! I- I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable before, I promise that I truly just want to talk with you. I- I know that I didn't make the best first impression, but please, just hear me out. I don't want to harm you."

Her face looked genuine. Diving deeper into her chest (for once not to ogle at her tits) I see her heart beating fast… but not because she's lying. She's nervous, frightened, hopeful.

I frowned. Demon disguises REALLY were good, huh? It seemed like the one I killed yesterday was some baby shit, this one took the fucking cake.

Still, it was weird she faked her facial expressions when I wasn't supposed to see them. Her troupe also had complicated expressions, clearly feeling the tension from this encounter.

…

I bit my lip in frustration. Fucking hell, I REALLY wanted to blow a demon's brains out, but this was starting to seem more and more like a big misunderstanding.

FACT: The ones behind those doors and up in the sky weren't humans. They had fucking retractable wings and, now that the little girl was closer, I could spot a set of cat ears and a tail hidden away. The only thing similar to them would be a fucking DEMON.

FACT: These disphits had chased me here, up onto a rooftop, to 'talk to me'. Super suspicious.

FACT: They had a flying fucking asshole just watching my every move. It could be ready to attack at any moment.

ALSO A FACT: The redhead looked like she would fucking cry if I kept slurring threats and insults her way, and she did that from behind a door I would normally never be able to see through.

…I frowned again. Was I the baddie?

No, no, these assholes chased me, I was practicing self-defense… Still, unlike the demon from yesterday, they seemed willing to… 'talk'.

That fucking troupe still put me on edge though.

After a pause, I finally decided to speak up, [Stylish Twirl] still active if shit went south.

"Alright, we can talk… but send your fucking goons or whatever the hell they are away. ESPECIALLY the flying one, if I spot her again I swear to God I start blasting."

Her eyes widened as I talked, swallowing spit at my demands. She closed her eyes and nodded (even if I couldn't see the action normally.)

"Alright, I'll send them away, they won't be near us when we talk."

I can see how both the catgirl and the blonde one climb down the stairs, apparently still tense with the situation. Turning around, I'm no longer able to see the flying one.

…Eventually, the two goons climb down enough stairs that they get out of my 12 meter range.

Okay, fuck, let's do it.

"Aight, we can speak."

Regretfully, I holster my gun stylishly to stop [Stylish Twirl]. This was supposed to be a peaceful conversation, and a gun in my hand wouldn't really put anyone at ease.

The redhead smiled as she finally got an affirmative sentence out of my mouth.

"Alright. I'll step in, then."

She opened the door and stepped onto the rooftop. Even with E.E's constant ogling of her, watching her with my own eyes was still as impressive. The wind carried her hair as well as mine, making both flow as we stared at each other. Her face now carried a bit more dignity compared to before, and I made sure to look as impassive as possible.

We kept staring.

…

"I… My name is Rias Gremory, and I'm a devil."

I clutched the holstered gun hard. I was fucking right.

"Yeah, I figured out you were one of those demons. What the hell you want with me is what I'm wondering."

She shook her head.

"We're… we're not demons, we're devils. There's an important difference there. I know that what you experienced yesterday was disturbing, but I assure you that was an isolated case."

I frowned at her.

"Oh, so you knew about my little encounter. How great. Came to get revenge for Miss ManyTits?"

"Quite the contrary. I came here to recruit you."

My frown deepened. The fuck's she talking about.

"For what? Satanic rituals? Gonna gut me open and offer my innards to Beelzebub? Gonna suck my soul outta my body?"

I paused for a second as I finished the sentence.

No, no. Think unsexy thoughts, Daniel, this is a fucking demon.

At my response, Rias examined me for a bit before sighing.

"Do you know anything about the supernatural?"

Why did she have to sound disappointed?

I answered honestly. "There are demons walking around that look like humans that like killing humans…" I thought for a second, scrambling for any sort of knowledge about my current predicament.

"...They don't take well to lead," I added. It was a fact.

She frowned. "Yesterday was the first time you fought a Stray Devil, correct?"

"Why would a fucking demon be a 'stray'. Are you fuckers pets?"

She rubbed her temple. It seemed like she wanted to say something else, but held back from it.

Her blue eyes met mine. "What is your name?"

I thought for a second, then raised my eyebrow.

"I don't think I want some demon just knowing my name. Names got power, you know? Who knows what nasty things a soul-sucking demon could do with it."

She raised her own eyebrow, matching me. "I want to explain things to you, but you're not making it easy for me."

After a pause, with me trying to obliterate her to bits with my stare, I ended up talking first.

"Daniel," I answered simply, still glaring.

"Daniel…" she repeated, as if tasting the sound it made. She frowned, then continued speaking. "Have you ever heard of angels and devils?"

I suppressed my knee-jerk reaction to call bullshit and hurl insults, but I quickly remembered the demon from yesterday and managed to hold it back. Barely.

Honestly, it shouldn't have been a surprise. I did meet the man himself.

"Yeah. So you telling me they're real now?"

She nodded.

And what followed was a really, really, really long explanation on all the bullshit that ran behind the curtains. A thousand years ago bla bla bla bla, a whole lotta pointless crap. Long story short: Angels, Fallen Angels (because why not) and Devils existed, hated each other's guts, and were in a barely held together cold-war kinda deal. Simple enough.

Then came the explanation for the whole 'Stray' thing.

"So, let me see if I got this shit right… That 'Stray' I killed used to be a human who got turned into a Devil, and the moment they decided to live without a Master (AKA: slave owner), their body exploded and became a man-eating monstrosity with all the rationale of a rabid poodle."

I paused and stared at her with bafflement.

"And you… came here to recruit me and just let you turn me into a fucking Devil knowing that?"

Rias had the decency to look apologetic as I explained it back to her.

"...That would only ever happen if you defected from the peerage, not to mention that cases where the body is so horrifically twisted aren't the norm. Besides, as long as you remained with me-"

"As a slave, obviously."

"I wouldn't treat you like one! I- Look, I know it sounds bad, but you'd officially become allied with the Gremory Clan as a member of my peerage, there are…"

She stopped, looking frustrated about something for a split second before continuing.

"...there are many, many benefits if you're allied with the Gremory, as part of the peerage of their heiress no less."

While keeping my stare level, I began considering the offer inside my head.

Obviously, I was NOT going to enter a life of servitude. I didn't fucking die and win the heaven lotto just to go and become the butler of some bad bitch, no matter how hot she was. I was NOT letting this happen. AT ALL.

…

Still.

"...What kinds of benefits?"

Rias visibly perked up at my question, probably glad I gave her an angle to butter me up.

"You'd get your own piece of land inside Gremory territory in the Underworld, you'd get a generous salary, and you'd have the full support of the Gremory heiress in whatever projects you may wish to pursue, whether it be financially or however else."

She gave me a considerate look before adding something else.

"You… I would also provide you with a home here on the surface."

One of my eyes twitched as she (indirectly) mentioned again that I was homeless. Yes, she guessed right. Yes, it still bothered me.

And despite that… I mulled it over.

Not to actually accept her offer. No no no. Something more… sneaky. Coy, if you might.

She had mentioned during her painful explanation that, to turn me into a devil, she'd use something called an 'Evil Piece' (which didn't exactly help in her recruiting efforts) and that thing would more or less make the contract of slavery between her and I. She'd have to put that in my body and turn me to a devil.

…Hmm.

"Alright Rias… so, just to know and totally not because I'm actually considering your offer at all, how much stronger would I become if I turned into a Devil?"

Rias' expression brightened at my question, maybe thinking that she finally got me hooked.

"Compared to a regular human? Miles stronger. Unfairly so. You'd have increased reflexes, strength and speed, not to mention access to devil magic, while also being boosted by the Evil Piece you'd possess, and considering your display from yesterday? I think you have a lot of potential."

I thoughtfully nodded at all of her explanations and unsubtle flattery.

"So," I followed up. "If I were to, hypothetically speaking and of course only in the most ridiculous of hypothetical situations, accept your offer… how would the whole 'Evil Piece' thing work if I were to… I dunno, die?"

The plan was kind of insultingly obvious.

She was so glad by my seemingly increasing interest with her offer that she didn't stop to question my completely odd question.

"If you're with me,you won't simply die all of a sudden, not if I have anything to say about it, so I don't think you should be planning ahead for that, but if that really is important for you to know… the piece would remain inside you. After it is used, it remains with you forever."

Hmm…. that could be troublesome. Those Evil Pieces (to my limited knowledge) were the thing that initiated the master-slave contract, and it'd suck balls if after my little plan went through I still got affected by the damn thing.

…

This was an important choice. Accepting her offer and then executing the plan would potentially give me all of the benefits from becoming a devil minus all the fucking pain of being a slave.

On the other hand, it was a gamble. The damn slave-contract could follow me even after the plan is done and I didn't want to deal with being a servant in what's supposed to be my afterlife.

In the first place, I didn't know how this cool fucking ability worked in the slightest.

I needed to test it, first. In a safe environment preferably. After that I'd consider scamming this hot stuff.

"Well," I began. "That offer does sound… convenient, but I'll admit I'm not enthused with the prospect of becoming your servant and doing your general bidding for what sounds like centuries."

Just as her face started to fall slightly, I added,

"However… I think what you offer could greatly benefit me, now and in the future. Before I accept or commit to anything, though, I need time. Just a bit of time. This is a big decision, after all."

She looked so pretty with a smile like that.

"Of course, Daniel! Take your time, we shall be waiting for you with open arms if you decide to join my family. Here…"

From her pocket, she produced a small, pristine white card. I could instantly tell with E.E that it was a business card, contact info printed neatly onto its surface in black lettering.

"Whenever you feel you're ready or simply want to talk to me directly for any reason, call me. I shall make time for you."

I took the card gingerly, giving it one obligatory glance to pretend it's the first time I read it, then pocketed it.

"Also," she added. "I promise you that, as long as you're with me, if you choose to, you will be cared for. I will receive and treat you as my family. On that, you can take my word."

I gave her a doubtful glance, but decided to not make any further comments. It'd be better if she thought that there was a high likelihood of me joining her.

Her smile turned a bit more content at my apparently accepting silence.

"Well Daniel, I don't want to make you feel pressured or uncomfortable any further, so I shall take my leave."

As she spoke, a red glowing circle of seemingly magic stuff manifested at her feet, inscribed with a whole bunch of nonsense.

"I will keep an eye on you, Daniel. You are in my territory, after all, so I would appreciate it if you didn't point your gun at any of my fellow students again."

The fact this was her territory and that I should expect further surveillance brought me zero comfort. Fuck, did that mean that I needed to sleep inside a dumpster to avoi-

WAIT. WAIT. HOLD UP. STOP. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT JUST NOW.

My eyes widened in horror and something akin to primal fear tinged my voice.

"Fellow…. students!? You go to SCHOOL!?"

She looked amused at my reaction, the glow from the circle slowly brightening up.

"High-school, yes. Surprised these so-called 'demons' partake in the same human education like everyone else?"

No, I was surprised because this whole afternoon I was apparently lusting after a FUCKING HIGH-SCHOOLER.

NO! TH- THIS CAN'T BE FUCKING HAPPENING! WH- WHY IS A FUCKING HIGH-SCHOOLER RECRUITING TWENTY-SOMETHING HOMELESS PEOPLE!? WHY THE FUCK IS SHE-

NO! WAIT! BACK-UP, BACK-UP. I WASN'T GONNA BE A FUCKING DIAPER-SNIPER! I REFUSED! I- I NEEDED TO MAKE FUCKING SURE!

"Just how old are you again!?"

My pleading was desperate.

Her face looked pretty as (NO. FUCK. UNTHINK THAT.) she gave me an unbelieving stare.

"I can't believe that out of everything I said this is the only fact that has you truly shaken. I don't have words, really, but if this truly matters to you..."

As the glow of the circle shone brighter and brighter, she gave me a coy smirk full of tease.

"I'm 18~."

The light from the circle engulfed her form and, in the blink of an eye, I was left alone on the rooftop, no signs of demons or bullshit in the vicinity.

I fell down to my knees.

"THANK FUCK!"

I WAS CLEAN! TRULY FUCKING CLEAN! OH GOD THAT WAS CLOSE. FUCKING HELL THAT WAS SO CLOSE.

"Th- The line that shouldn't be crossed has remained intact! I am clean!"

IT WAS JUST A TWO YEAR-GAP. THAT'S FINE! THAT'S TOTALLY FINE!

Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself down, relieved that this brief moral crisis had gone smoothly.

This high-schooler shit would've been a real fucking problem if she had been 17 or below. Sure, the age gap on 17 year olds wouldn't have been extremely egregious, but it was still weird.

If I had any say on it, I wanted my afterlife to have nothing fucking weird on it.

At least that age reveal made me all the more sure that I was not going into her service. At all. The humiliation of becoming the slave of an 18 year-old fresh out of highschool would make me too fucking embarrased to even enjoy the benefits.

…That was a lie. I'd get over it pretty quickly and then enjoy the easy ride. STILL. I wasn't gonna fucking take that route. I was going to become the master of my own fucking destiny and I'd become a rich, powerful mansion-owning cunt on my own terms with my own hands.

However, I needed to level up to become stronger, and thus far the best way to level up had been to murder a 'Stray Devil', and judging by Rias' description, killing them was seen in the same way as someone hunting an invasive animal like a poodle; I was doing society a favor by getting rid of them.

Perhaps by giving this city a thorough look around by midnight would some pesky 'strays' pop-up and beg for a serving of lead. Rias did mention somewhere in between her painfully long explanation that this 'stray' was an unusual case in terms of passing themselves as a human, so there probably wouldn't be more tit-shields like last time.

Hopefully.

It would be a straight-forward job all things considered. Easy-Peasy.

…Fucking hell, I needed to eat. Who knew that running up fifteen flights of stairs would tire someone out? I just burned calories that my body really, really could use to avoid dying like a kid in Africa.

Getting up from my kneeling position with a groan, I started heading for the door to the stairs.

The… fifteen flight-long stairs…

…

…It was time…

You know what? I didn't FEEL like taking the fucking stairs right now.

I took a deep breath. A breath that somehow felt deeper than anything else.

This would be a perfect time to test my ability. Safe environment. All controlled. I was already planning on doing this if shit went south with Rias, so it wouldn't exactly ruin the schedule. I could do it and carry on just fine.

…

"Oh God, what the fuck am I doing."

My words had no effect, for I was already moving.

With my feet feeling like lead, I trudged to the rooftop's railing, the short trip feeling like an eternity.

Putting both hands on it, gripping it real, real hard, I looked over it and took a peek to the uncaring depths below.

Cement. A hard, dirty and sturdy fucking cement floor that was reasonably clean for an alleyway, plus an open trash container waiting for something to crash disgracefully on it.

…

I swallowed spit. I knew that it wouldn't mean anything. It'd be perfectly fine. I knew that. It was just a test. I just needed to know how it'd work. For the future.

Nervously, I took another look around with my own eyes, trying to see if there were any lingering flying demons that may witness the ensuing stupidity. After finding nothing, I once again look down at the cold, hard cement.

Shakily, I took another deep, deep breath. Hands shaking, legs trembling, heart thumping, chest feeling like it wanted to tear itself out in sheer panic.

"This is fine," I said to no one, pretending that my voice didn't shake. "This is going to happen sooner rather than later, and it's best if I do it on my terms. I'm the master of my own destiny."

…This was just a simple fucking chore. Just a stupid dumb chore so I could get on with killing demons and getting pussy.

Just a chore.

…

I jumped.

My screams, panic and fear were too sudden and short-lived to really process all that was happening, and as the cement came closer and closer, I didn't even get to feel a fucking thi-

---

/ INCURSOR SYSTEM LOG /

[...]

[Incursor #0734 has died.]

[Checking for any Incursor Functions that require activation…]

[...]

[ {DARKSIGN} function detected.]

[Aborting soul transfer to {INCURSORIAL POST-MORTEM DEPARTMENT}...]

[Transfer aborted.]

[Initiating {DARKSIGN} function…]

[Granting { } status to Incursor…]

[Initiating { .REBIRTH} subroutine…]

---

Somehow, despite what common logic would tell you, my eyes opened after what seemed like an indefinite amount of time. They opened quickly, suddenly and accompanied by a loud, desperate gasp of air as the feeling of slamming into cold metal remained fresh, startling and painful in my mind.

I had truly died yet again, and now I just found myself in front of a dirty brick wall in what seemed to be a foul-smelling alleyway. It was depressing how common this sight was becoming in what was supposed to be my afterlife.

My quick, panicked breaths began to slow down a bit as reality dawned on me. I was still alive. Still kicking.

I truly became immortal.

The ends of my lips couldn't help but rise a bit as the possibilities of complete immortality began to arise.

…Wait, something's wrong.

Slowly, so very slowly, I blinked. Something was missing… right?

---

[{ .REBIRTH} subroutine finished.]

[Restarting all Incursor Functions…]

[Generating Incursor Functions cache...]

[/ NOTE: Cache will ensure further rebirths receive no delay on Incursor Function activation. /]

[...]

[All Incursor Functions working.]

---

In what felt like a mighty kick on my balls, Eyes Everywhere suddenly activated.

"Ah thank- OH FUCK!"

I was granted overwhelming vision yet again. It was startling, but having infinite eyes around me felt comfortable now. I didn't mind having it.

What I did mind was witnessing a dried up, rotting, ugly fucking carcass exactly where my body should be.

I quickly looked down at my hands using my own two eyes, needing to confirm their state directly, as if E.E had suddenly become compromised.

And with my own two eyes I saw emaciated discolored hands more fitting for a corpse than a living person.

"Oh, oh fucking Christ, this shit's real."

I also had to lay witness to how the corpse uttered and enunciated every single word I mumbled, how its eyes widened and became panicked as it gazed at its horrid hands…

How it was wearing the exact same clothes I wore, with the same backpack I had on me at the time of death.

I was a fucking monster.

"No- Fuck. This can't- I- Oh fuck."

Despair settled into my gut. I looked fucking horrible. A complete freak of nature.

I closed my eyes, despite the uselessness of the gesture. I wanted to enter a calmer state of mind for this, because it was clear that something in here was fucked.

It took some time, but eventually I managed to collect my cool a bit. Just a bit though, since I could (literally) never tear my gaze away from what was now my body.

After a few more moments trying to compress my shit and keep it together, I was able to come to terms with my current situation.

"I'm a fucking freak now," I stated simply.

I wasn't expecting this transformation to be part of my apparent immortality. Not at all. If I had known beforehand I would've mulled over my suicide plan a bit longer than I did.

…Well, this fucking sucked, right?

Frowning (and fuck did that look weird on me) I made an effort and tried to stand up.

The sight of a corpse slowly and clumsily rising from its rest was quite horrible, really. No fucking way I was actually stuck like this.

With horror slowly turning into annoyance, I groaned, sounding like a very thirsty drug addict. I needed to give this thing a fucking check.

INFO.

Again, from thin-air, pop, and a paper leaflet softly drifted into my hands.

Miffed, I opened the damn paper, where my character sheet was plastered on one side.

/

Name: Daniel García, [the Perfectionist.]

Level : Level 2 [Perfectionist] Undead Gunman.

XP: 1800

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Skill List:

- [Perfect Shots]

- [Perfect Stacks]

- [Stylish Twirl]

Perk List:

- Eyes Everywhere

- Sharpest Shooter

Trait List:

- Darksign

Conditions:

- Undead (Darksign)

/

There it was, fucking Darksign on the trait list, looking almost inconspicuous with how little fanfare this fucking thing made for seeming immortality.

I also noticed the small addition to the character sheet.

Conditions:

- Undead (Darksign)

…what the FUCK did that mean

Angered, I press on the paper with my finger, right onto the Undead text for further explanation.

My finger pressed on the paper… to no effect. The glare on my face narrowed. How the fuck am I supposed to-

"Fucking- INFO: UNDEAD… please fucking work."

Promptly, with the same pop, a small paper note appeared.

…This method of delivering information was getting really annoying real fast.

I caught the note and quickly read it, the angelical language transforming into English in front of my eyes.

Condition - Undead: Dead, yet living. Those considered Undead are not able to die in the same way any other mortal can. Even after apparent 'death', an Undead will still rise up and keep moving. Capability of rational thought is optional.

This condition can be contracted from numerous different sources, thus how this condition works and its effects can vary wildly. Refer to a specific type for further details.

…This was supremely unhelpful.

With a frown, I thought very hard.

INFO: Undead (Darksign)

Somehow the command went through, pop, and a new note drifted down to me, this one quite larger than the previous one. In fact, it seemed like it was a couple pages long.

I crumpled up the previous note and discarded it (bursting into yellow flames the second it's tossed) and grabbed the new one.

…Christ, this one was extensive.

Condition - Undead (Darksign): The trademark condition of those branded with the accursed Darksign. It grants undeath, making the afflicted impossible to truly kill for good. The specifics of this undeath are as follows:

* Upon 'death', the Undead will leave behind a 'pseudo-corpse', which will behave and act exactly like a normal corpse for 30 minutes, after which it will crumble into ashes.

* The 'pseudo-corpse' will appear to have all of the Undead's belongings on it at the time of death. After the 30 minutes pass, all of the items on it will crumble alongside the corpse.

* Upon 'death', all the [Souls] and [Humanity] carried by the Undead will be discarded, left behind at the spot in which they died in a [Bloodstain]. They can be recovered, but dying again before doing so will make the [Bloodstain] disappear.

* A new body will form itself near the latest resting spot the Undead took a rest at after 60 minutes. If the Undead wishes to, the body can appear near the latest [Bonfire] the Undead visited. This body will carry all of the belongings the previous one had on it at the time of death.

* As soon as the body is formed, the Undead's own soul will occupy the body, granting it consciousness. This body will have no [Humanity] and no [Souls], being in a state of [Hollowness], the progress of which will depend on the Undead's [Hollowness] at the time of death.

* Upon repeated rebirths, the Undead WILL lose sanity and intelligence. This is largely unavoidable. Becoming stronger is the only way these effects can be lessened.

* This cycle will repeat indefinitely, regardless of the Undead's mental state.

Aside from immortality, the Undead will gain a connection to the [First Flame]. The full effects of this connection aren't of note unless the Undead's inside the [Dark Souls] universe. In the current Universe, this connection is relevant with the following:

* Resting near a [Bonfire] will fully heal and refresh the Undead once per day. Note that regular bonfires that can be created commonly by anyone have no effect for this or any of the following effects.

* The Undead becomes able to gather [Souls] and [Humanity] and also use them at [Bonfires] to increase the Undead's strength and reverse their [Hollowing], respectively.

* The Undead becomes able to create [Bonfires] as long as the area they're created in is considered safe, there is suitable fuel for the fire, and is also stationary. The fire INSIDE the [Bonfire] won't stop burning unless put out by external force. The fire from the [Bonfire] can be used the same as normal fire. The cost of creating a [Bonfire] is 1 [Humanity].

* The Undead becomes able to learn [Pyromancy]. If the Undead is an Incursor, this is represented by unlocking the [Pyromancer] skill tree.

Note that the ability to create [Bonfires] isn't possible inside the [Dark Souls] universe.

Finally, the Undead condition carries with it the following effects:

* Receives 2x Holy Damage.

* Receives 2x Light Damage.

* Receives 0.5x Necrotic Damage.

* The further the [Hollowing], the further the physical pain threshold the Undead can take increases, becoming incapable of feeling physical pain when fully [Hollow].

This condition has an indefinite duration. There are no real means of getting rid of the Darksign aside from high-level Incursor perks or some other form of higher power.

And there ended the page.

"...Jesus fuck."

I stared in silence at the detailed paper, still digesting the specifics of my apparent immortality….

…Wait, I needed to get my shit back, right? It said that upon dying I dropped my humanity and souls, whatever that meant. I needed to-

Fuck it. I wasn't doing this shit uninformed ever again. INFO: Souls.

Another note, another pop, and down it went. This one was much briefer. Gingerly, I made sure to pocket the full explanation of my condition in my pants before taking this new note.

Souls (Dark Souls): The essence of life, or in more practical terms, the currency of the Undead cursed with the Darksign. Despite its name, one entity can carry multiple souls within. An entity's souls are a representation of their strength. The more souls, the stronger the entity is.

Souls are gathered by slaying an entity, and they can be used at a [Bonfire] to strengthen an Undead. This process is crucial for maintaining the Undead's sanity.

Souls serve no purpose for those that aren't cursed with the Darksign, with almost nobody except the Undead being able to even feel their existence.

My eyes widened at the description laid before me. Undead currency? More importantly, the fact that I could strengthen myself.

An ugly grin, made even more disgusting by my horrible husk of a body, made its way across my face. Ooooh yeah, this was the fucking stuff. This meant that by just killing fuckers I could skip waiting for that fucking Y$W$ shop and simply become stronger.

…Was that stray demon from yesterday powerful? It looked quite powerful, at least before I shot it to death. Shit, did I even gather souls from that? I wasn't undead then, and it seemed like all of this Darksign business just got activated once I got revived.

Either way, I had to go to my [Bloodstain], to gather my humanity back, so I'd end up knowing eventually.

Speaking of which. INFO: Humanity.

pop. I discarded the note on Souls (exploding in silent yellow flames) and I took the new note.

Humanity: The thing that differentiates a human from any other creature alive, with any human alive (and even dead) possessing it. For the purposes of an Undead, they can be harvested by slaying a human or once-human entity, or by taking it from a deceased human's corpse (although this method is generally unreliable).

Humanity can be used to reverse an Undead's [Hollowing] at a [Bonfire], giving them back a more human and 'living' visage. They can also be used to greatly heal an Undead's wounds.

The more Humanity an Undead has, the more resistant they become, able to ignore greater amounts of damage. They also become 'luckier' when gathering items from slain entities.

These effects are much less noticeable at low levels of Humanity.

And that was the note.

My brow furrowed. This was more… problematic, as it were.

See, I didn't mind killing those fucking demons. They're demons after all, fuck'em. But to gather humanity would literally mean to just go and kill someone. I could try to find a corpse and see if they had any humanity, but unless I spent an entire night grave-robbing I doubt I'd be even able to find some random corpse.

Which gave me a bit of a problem.

Sure, when I went back to my Bloodstain I'd get my humanity back. Cool.

But I knew how to read. I saw a specifically concerning line on the Humanity note.

Humanity can be used to reverse an Undead's [Hollowing] at a [Bonfire]

This stated that simply having Humanity wasn't enough. I needed a Bonfire, and to create one…

The cost of creating a [Bonfire] is 1 [Humanity].

Shit. I was one short, which was a shame because all things considered these fucking Bonfires seemed like the greatest shit. They served as a resurrection point, they healed me, and they also made me stronger and also reversed my ugly zombie mug. It was a great deal, really, a stupendously great deal.

All that for just one Humanity.

…

…Well, someone was dying tonight. What can you do, it's just the way the world works. One poor sod would pay the price for a good sleep of little old me. His name will be remembered. Surely.

As a plan began forming in my head, I couldn't help but let out a small,

"Huh."

This was… good? I was quite spooked upon resurrecting, since I was a rotting husk of a corpse and all that, but now that I took my time to read all this fluff, this Undead business seemed like a stupidly good deal.

One, I was immortal now, so fuck consequences. Two, I was now able to become stronger by just killing shit. Three, I now had access to a [Pyromancer] skill tree, which was great considering I was locked out of magic while creating my character earlier.

Sure, my sanity was at risk, but that seemed like a problem for way later. Easily ignorable. Besides, by killing shit I could keep my sanity in check. Easy-Peasy. There was also the looking like a zombie bit, but again, easily fixable. No biggie.

Now the issue was getting to that Bloodstain.

I gave myself a once over, infinite eyes focused on me.

Real talk: it'd be impossible to go across town without garnering some attention. I wasn't wearing a jacket, so I was left in my already unflattering t-shirt and trousers, and even those were already raising some eyebrows at the time I was performing by the street. Combine that with looking like a ghoul? The police would be called ASAP, and considering that Rias was the head-honcho of the place, she'd catch word of it.

The last thing I wanted was for her to know I was an immortal zombie. Now that I knew that upon death EVERYTHING got carried over to the new body, my genius strategy of accepting turning into a devil and then killing myself would be discarded.

Which, I mean, IF IT WORKED, it'd be an absolutely banging plan. Having all the benefits of being a devil (super-strength, magic, fucking flying) minus the caveat of being the slave of a teenager. Super great plan, but since that Evil Piece would still carry over, then it's essentially useless for me now.

That plan would've also turned me into being quadruple weak to Holy stuff, which would've been problematic in a world where angels just existed, but whatever.

I'd still meet her tomorrow, if only to gather some more info, but I didn't need her to know I was immortal. If she already coveted me as a slave simply by being a sharpshooting hobo, I didn't want to know how she'd react to me being a zombie sharpshooting hobo.

I looked up, simply to check the time (since I had no phone and I couldn't see outside my radius with E.E) and saw the sun, still held up high.

Shit. Just one hour passed since I killed myself, so that meant it should've been around… 3 PM? Give or take an hour.

The streets would be crowded. In fact, since I got resurrected at my last 'resting spot' then that must mean that I am actually quite far from where I killed myself, since I moved quite a bit today.

…Shit, I needed to get to my bloodstain pronto.

Looking around the alleyway, I spotted a garbage container.

I frowned, yet still headed for it. If anything, at least I was already used to searching through trash, so it wouldn't be AS humilliating.

Once the container was within E.E's range, I quickly began thoroughly checking its contents one by one, inch by inch.

The fact that I was using my shiny new powers to dumpster dive made me a bit sad, but I proceeded anyway.

Aaaaand…. There, just what I needed, clothes. A leather jacket (sporting some nifty holes on the shoulders and covered in old blood, beer and cum) and a green bandana (mostly clean except for the copious amounts of trash juice over it). Now, to get the thirty garbage bags over it out of the way, I'd require to use my own two hands.

I couldn't help but let out a weary sigh at the prospect, already rolling my shoulders and getting closer to the container.

"Old habits die hard," I said, trying to alleviate the incoming horrid experience.

It didn't help.

---

By 5 PM, with a foul-smelling jacket covering my torso and a green, stinky bandana over most of my face, I made my way to the spot where I had died, right below the big building, right in front of the garbage container I had deemed fit to be my casket.

The trip here had been accompanied by numerous, numerous odd stares and disgusted faces, but NO MATTER, I SHALL TAKE THIS RIDICULE AND TURN THE HUMILIATION INTO FUEL FOR MY CONQUEST FOR POWER.

"I need a shower."

Already tired beyond belief, I simply went up to the container and looked inside of it.

There, looking quite grim knowing what happened, was a splash of blood on top of a few flattened garbage bags. Around the bloodstain was also a fair amount of ash.

"This must've been the pseudo-corpse."

I silently thanked that the pseudo-corpse crumpled into ashes before I even resurrected. I didn't need or want to see my own lifeless, broken body, thank you very much.

Most noticeable of all, though, was that I could see a sort of green glow emanating from the bloodstain. Having nothing else to try, I reach out for the bloodstain.

Before I even touched the thing, I felt myself collecting what I left behind.

And my eyes widened, taking a step back and a sharp intake of air, shivering.

"Oooh FUCK."

I felt them, the souls, the essence of life entering my body, and it felt great. It felt so great to collect the souls. Better yet, was the humanity.

Closing my eyes (again, more out of habit than anything), I reveled in the feeling of being whole again, of humanity.

I shivered again.

"Shiiiit. This is nice."

I knew something was missing upon my resurrection, but now that I had it back, I just felt nice in a way I never knew I could.

Clenching and unclenching my fists, feeling myself, I rolled my shoulders, then let out a satisfied sigh.

"Nice."

…And yet I still felt wrong. Probably the fact I was still a horrible husk of a human.

And if I didn't want to be one, I needed to go kill someone. Right. Now.

"Whoa, fuck, hold on, hold on…"

I held my head and took a deep breath. It seemed that taking in that humanity felt a little too good. I already felt myself wanting to shoot whoever came through that alleyway next.

…Hopefully this wouldn't be a recurring issue. Now, as to who to kill, the obvious answer would be a criminal but there's a problem.

There are almost no criminals in Kuoh.

Which wasn't surprising considering that it's ruled by demons… well, it actually WAS surprising it wasn't worse in that case, but still, the way Kuoh was handled ensured that there weren't any criminals lurking in alleyways. It explained why I didn't get mugged when I went to sleep yesterday.

I briefly thought of trying to get humanity from the demon I killed yesterday. After all, she supposedly was once a human, and should count as having humanity, but her corpse was probably already taken care of by Rias, and I ain't facing her while being a zombie, so that was a no go.

Another stray? There's a risk, since they're heavily monitored by Rias, but it was plausible. The easier way to accomplish this would be to just kill some random person, but even if I was willing to do such a thing, it wouldn't really work in the long run. A murder in this town would be big news, and I'm not confident in my abilities to hide a body for too long. Once it's discovered it'd reach Rias' ears and I'd be in deep shit.

…Wait, where all of my problems just because of Rias? Fucking hell, maybe I should kill her.

Perhaps I should go grave-robbing? Although the logistics of it are terrible, all things considered, and since graves are probably quite devil related then Rias-

"FUCKING- ! FUCK! FUCK! FUUUUCK!"

WAS THERE NO WAY TO DO THIS WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT!? FUCK! FU-

I perked up all of a sudden, an idea popping up.

"A morgue!"

Yes! A morgue! Freshly dead people! I'd just have to sneak into one, grab a corpse, then harvest humanity! Easy peasy!

For the purposes of an Undead, they can be harvested by slaying a human or once-human entity, or by taking it from a deceased human's corpse (although this method is generally unreliable).

No. This was fine. There were probably tons of bodies around, surely I would strike gold sooner rather than later. Surely.

…

"…Probably not."

If the description pointed it out like so, then it's probably really unlikely to harvest humanity like that. And that was without taking into account the logistics of me entering a morgue while looking like I did.

I heaved out a sigh. Fuck it, people-watching it was, I'd just find the worst possible piece of shit around and kill him. People-watching while smelling and looking like shit, too.

Truth be told, I was getting real sick of smelling like waste. I needed to kill someone pronto so I could look like a human and enter a petrol station shower, then go buy some proper clothes. I had money to burn after Rias' generous donation (i.e., bait).

For now, I settled by traversing the alleyways. Sure, this town was ruled by a demon, but they still let that fucking stray one get real close to me, a supposedly normal human. Their control wasn't good enough to truly prevent crime. Surely I'd find some evildoer somewhere.

Although I already knew where it was, I still patted my gun, hidden in my trousers by my back. It was loaded and ready to kill whatever poor soul I found.

I just needed that poor soul to not be missed.

---

You know, I despaired thinking that crime was completely abolished here, but lo and behold, a murder.

It was 7 PM, and by that point I had kind of given up on just stumbling on some evildoer doing evil in a seedy street. The cigarette in my mouth was doing its very best to distract me from my hunger, which had gone unattended since yesterday, and frankly, I was simply fucking around at this point.

And then I found a murder scene, right on the street. Freshly made, too.

Right across me, exiting the alleyway, was a house. Regular looking, two floors, nothing of note. Except, of course, the door that was ajar and off its hinges. This alone wouldn't be much of a murder scene if it wasn't for the pool of blood right at the entrance.

I looked around me, to see if I was the only one who saw this obviously suspicious scene.

…Nope, not a single soul was walking here. Not even cars, funnily enough.

Taking a drag from the cigarette with one hand, I used the other to take the gun from my trousers.

[Stylish Twirl]

I began twirling the gun, spinning it just like a proper cowboy would, preparing myself for the worst and making sure I had a few [Stacks] on me. I spat the cigarette onto the street.

I wasn't stupid. Goddamn demons and angels existed, and Rias' explanation implied that they weren't the only supernatural thing existing. I got lucky with that demon yesterday, I didn't know if whatever awaited there (if it was still there in the first place) would have such an exploitable weakness again.

As I walked to the house, I oddly felt calm. The infinite eyes of E.E watched my every step, and knowing what I looked like as I moved, how horrid of a husk I was under the piss-stained jacket and bandanna…

It was a comforting reminder that I was immortal.

By the time I reached the entrance of the house, the blood pooling around the door's steps, I could feel 5 [Perfect Stacks] accumulated, and they were still growing.

E.E was already scanning what it could from inside the house that was within 12 meters, spotting a whole bunch of blood and strewn around furniture. There were clear signs of a fight, and oddly enough, right in the middle of the living room, there was a sort of magical circle, candles surrounding the circle and a leather-bound black book sitting in the middle, the cover illustrating a star symbol upside down. The trail of blood led to another room, of which I couldn't see more since it was more than 12 meters away, but I could see that there was a light coming from there…

I blinked.

Eyes Everywhere was fucking ridiculous. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea.

While I analyzed the entire scene, another few Stacks got added to my stock, leaving me with 7 [Perfect Stacks].

Whoever got shot with this would be fucking hurting.

Finally, I took a step forward into the house, right into the pool of blood.

A small splash sound came from stepping on it, but I ignored it. It wouldn't matter if whoever was there knew I was inside, E.E would make sure I saw them first.

The house was silent. One step. Two steps, Thre-

"Oh."

Now within range, I could see the entire scene, inside what was the kitchen.

A young woman lying on the kitchen floor, around twenty, guts open, innards spilling out. A horrified, frozen and dead face, eyes dull and with dried up tears. She was wearing normal clothes at the time of her death… and beside her was her obvious killer.

Most striking was his pure white hair, followed closely by his large black coat. A golden cross hung from his neck, and in one of his hands, held tightly, was a curved knife, bloody and rusty.

And he was looking at the door leading to the living room, his face frozen in tension.

Right, he must've heard me. The outline of the house made it so it wasn't possible to see who was at the entrance hall from the kitchen or the living room. Add to that that the killer wasn't exactly right by the door, the whole scene being located deeper in the kitchen, and it meant that he had no fucking clue who just entered his little crime scene.

10 [Stacks]. The shot would have double the damage.

The door to the kitchen was open, so there WAS a possible angle to shoot with ricochet right into his head… but I didn't. Not yet, at least.

This guy had a cross, his coat had a sort of priestly vibe to it, and this living room was full of cultist stuff. It was obvious that there was more to this shit.

I focused E.E's sight on the killer, trying to discern every minute thing he had on him.

Okay, that was a gun inside his coat. That'd be valuable loot. What was weird was the handle he had hidden away in his coat's pockets. It was at easy reach for him, so it must be at least somewhat important, but its use was lost to me. Even looking deeper into the device with E.E told me nothing.

…This guy was really looking at the door, as if ready to spring any second.

12 [Stacks].

I didn't bother waiting anymore, whatever I wanted to find out I'd do so once I killed this fucking maniac. The gun still spinning, I visualized the shot. It'd go from outside the living room, to the corner of a wall, which would lead directly to the kitchen, straight into the killer's forehead and, considering the shot was 12 [Stacks] strong, would pierce the brain.

Easy Peasy.

I moved the gun to-

"I don't know why, but something SMELLS LIKE SHIT!"

My eyes widened. His voice was horribly grating, I needed him put down right now. Without more preamble, I stopped spinning the gun and shot it, the recoil feeling amazing in my hands.

BANG!

In the blink of an eye, the bullet traveled exactly as predicted, ricocheting off the wall into the kitchen. One small issue.

The killer moved before it could hit his head, as if blessed with supernatural reflexes, he moved as soon as I shot it, which couldn't have been more than a few milliseconds. Good news was that his reflexes weren't THAT good, and despite moving, his right shoulder took the solemn duty of eating shit.

"OH FUUUUCK!" The killer screamed, holding his shoulder that now sported a cool new steaming hole at its center. "THAT HURTS LIKE HELL! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

I silently appreciated the potency of the bullet. It passed cleanly through bone and tissue, leaving a hole larger than the bullet itself in its wake. Those [Perfect Stacks] were the real deal. More important yet, since the shot landed, it counted as a [Perfect Shot], which meant that my [Stacks] didn't go away, instead granting me one more, taking the count to 13 [Stacks].

"You fucking PIECE OF SHIT! Came to help your demon worshiper friend, right!? I'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU A REAL PIECE OF GUN!"

As he said this, he produced the gun he was carrying, rushing to the door while his other arm hung limply, useless since his shoulder bone got completely pierced.

Before he even got to pass through the door, I shot again, aim adjusted so the bullet went a bit higher since the guy's now standing. This time, considering he's good enough to dodge the bullet to the head, I aimed square for the chest.

BANG!

Since the guy was right in front of the door, there wasn't much room to dodge, but he tried anyway. Moving slightly to his left, the bullet went and grazed his right side. Still, considering the amount of [Stacks] on the thing, the bullet left behind half a hole where it touched, bleeding and probably hurting like shit.

14 [Stacks].

The killer yelled in pain, but still moved forward, exiting the kitchen while sporting a crazed look.

"You little FUCKER! I will-!"

As he began his tirade and raised his gun in my general direction.

BANG!

Another shot, this one aimed squarely at his hand holding the gun. To my surprise, with this short of a distance, he just hopped to one side and cackled derisively.

"HA! Not gonna catch me like that again, ASSHOLE!"

Fuck, the bullet didn't ricochet anywhere useful. And he raised his gun agai-

I quickly moved aside from the doorway I was shooting from, hiding behind the wall of the entrance hall.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!

Right where I stood, more precisely where my head was, passed five white, shining bullets, landing right on the opposing wall to me. The bullets let out steam, buried in the wall. They emitted their own light.

Those were not normal fucking bullets.

"Ahh~, hiding now, aren't you, FUCKER!? NOT SO BRAVE NOW, HUH!?"

His voice was really pissing me off. Without much to do, I just quickly calculated a trajectory, and shot at the opposing wall.

BANG!

The ricochet bounced the bullet off to the living room, right back at the killer, where he just… sidestepped it, cackling.

"HOW FUCKING BORING! BORING! I'll make you PAY for breaking my fucking arm, you FUCKER!"

Okay, this wasn't fucking working. I needed a less predictable shot.

Before I could shoot again, the killer simply dropped his gun, the weapon clattering against the floor.

"Since you're so FUCKING SHY, I guess I'll have to go find you, RIGHT!?"

He began taking out the handle thing from his pocket. I didn't let this opportunity go to waste, quickly taking a peek outside the cover to get a direct line of sight with the killer and promptly shot at the ceiling.

BANG!

"HA! YOU STU-"

Before he could mock me, his voice turned into a painful scream, as his left knee received a bullet right in the center, landing straight in the bone.

1 [Stack].

The bullet ricocheted off the ceiling, into the floor, then right into his kneecaps. A beautiful shot, really.

"FUCKER! You think you can just SHOOT AN EXORCIST!? I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT-"

I didn't bother letting him finish. I quickly planned the trajectory of another shot, this one direct to his heart, and peeked from cover.

BANG!

"FUCKER!"

Before the bullet reached him, in an action that occurred within less than a second, the killer took out the handle-thing from his pocket and activated it. And from it-

Was that a lightsaber?

Apparently yes, since in less than a second of all this occurring, he managed to actually stop the bullet. In fact, I think he disintegrated it entirely. All with one swing of the lightsaber.

"You. Are. Fucked."

Even with the injured knee, the killer just threw himself across the living room, rapidly approaching my hiding spot. Before he could, I aimed at the floor behind him.

BANG!

Ricochet off the floor, right into his spine… except he, without turning around and in mid-sprint, just moved his lightsaber and disintegrated the bullet coming behind him.

Uh-oh.

I hurriedly stepped back from my position, running back to the ajar door where I entered from and reaching for my pockets, scrambling to put a new magazine into the gun.

While I fumbled with the gun, the killer finally managed to reach the spot I was hiding this entire encounter.

He smiled as he saw me.

"Hello, there you are, you disgusting fuck. I knew something smelled LIKE SHIT."

As soon as he finished those words, I secured the magazine into the Colt with a satisfying CLICK from the gun. I looked back at the manic looking killer, one of his arms hanging limply at his side, his shoulder bleeding profusely and staining his uniform, with the same happening to his knee and side. He was standing resting his weight mostly on just one leg, while he glared at me with a crazed smile.

I looked at him with my most neutral gaze possible, lowering the hand holding my gun so it was pointed to the floor.

"You're one creepy fuck."

BANG!

Bouncing from the floor, right to his head, the bullet got blocked in one swift move by the lightsaber.

"AH, I SEE! The filthy, shit-scented demon dares to call me, ME, CREEPY!?"

"I'm not a demon." I corrected, a bit lamely.

BANG!

Again, the shot got blocked by the lightsaber.

"Huuuhhh? What's that I hear, not a demon? THEN WHY IS IT THAT YOU REEK!? YOU REEK, REEK, REEK OF A HERETIC!"

Shit.

With those words, the killer threw himself again in a mad dash, right at me with his shining white lightsaber at the ready.

I didn't bother shooting again, instead opting for the nice option of running out the door.

"YES, YES, RUN, FUCKER! I'll make sure to put a FUCKING HOLE on your OWN shoulder! SEE IF YOU LIKE IT THAT WAY!"

Now out of the house, I turned around to see the self-proclaimed exorcist still hot on my tail, dragging himself at great speeds to me.

I planned a trajectory for three bullets ricocheting from the house, right into his back. As he dragged his frame out of the doorway, I shot thrice.

BA-BA-BANG!

"STOP THAT!"

To my horror, the three bullets, all with different routes and trajectories, got swiftly deleted by the exorcist with his sword in a maneuver that I would call highly impressive if it wasn't for the fact that he was a crazy asshole.

After that, we both paused on our tracks, staring at each other.

…

Well, now I was a bit fucked, wasn't I?

The exorcist seemed to get the same idea, since his face twisted into a sick, self-satisfied grin.

"Oh? Oooohhh? Is that all? Am I supposed to be impressed with your little toy, your little tricks? Would you like me to 'ooh' and 'aah' in surprise for you? Would you like a round of FUCKING APPLAUSE!?"

He charged again, and I had fuck all ideas.

Welp, at least I'm immortal, right? Long live the Darksign!

I aimed the gun at him again, out of token resistance more than anything. In my head, a plan for how to reach my Bloodstain once I got resurrected was taking form. I had more or less given up.

"That fucking THING! FIRST, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER USE IT AGAIN!"

As he yelled that, he raised his blade, and threw himself at me again, a furious warcry ripping out of his throat.

It was pretty obvious what he was going to do, he was going for my right hand, the one holding the gun. It was so telegraphed that, were my bullets not useless against him now, I could've easily exploited it.

…

And the lightbulb shone.

It happened in less than a second, as much shit does. Before the lightsaber made contact with my arm, right before it got completely cut off, I shot the weapon, as if I was juggling it, into my other hand.

The lightsaber cut through my arm at the elbow, perfectly slicing it.

"HA! THAT'S WHAT YOU-!"

But before he could raise his lightsaber again, now that he was holding it down after his slice, now that he needed to recover to perform another maneuver with his lightsaber, now that he was so, so close to me, so close that I could see all of the unbrushed teeth inside his mouth…

I aimed the M1911 Colt right at his temple, pressing the barrel firmly into it.

For a very, very brief second, just one tiny second, I delighted in the look of horror dawning on the exorcists' eyes as they quickly turned to meet mine. And as our gazes met, I could see the panic, the fear, the realization of how badly he fucked up, the realization that he had no way of turning this around.

I gave him a grin.

The exorcist turned his he-

BANG!

1 [Stack]

Right between his forehead, the bullet went through, piercing his meat and skull, cleanly entering his frontal lobe. The impact of the bullet sent him back, dropping his lightsaber to the ground, him falling soon after on his back as his forehead began to bleed profusely all over the front garden.

The exorcist was done.

As soon as he fell down, I let out a huge, deep breath.

"Jesus fuck, that was close."

Sure, I would've revived eventually, but it still would've sucked.

Simply glad that this whole shitshow was over, I ran my hand through my face, trying to-

…I ran my hand through my face.

…

Slowly, I looked at my right arm, very distinctly missing everything from the elbow forward. E.E then easily spotted where the missing half laid on the floor, discarded like trash.

…Oh, so this is how heavy amounts of adrenaline felt. Huh, funny that, not even E.E had realized I had no arm.

…

Now that I came to terms with the current situation, the pain arrived.

"FUCK!"

I fell to my knees and tried to hold my stump, quickly letting go once I realized it hurt more to even touch it.

"You exorcist piece of shit! Holy fuck, this hurts!"

Being unable to even touch the damn thing, I just tried to stay still and took deep breaths. The pain didn't alleviate in the slightest, but it was the thought that counted.

Thankfully (if there was anything to even thank in this whole shitshow) it seemed as though that lightsaber was hot enough to cauterize the wound the second it got made, meaning that I wasn't at risk of dying from hemorrhage.

I was just missing half-an arm. No biggie.

I closed my eyes in pain, which brought no reprieve since my senses were still afflicted by E.E. Goddamnit! Why the fuck did I even try this picking a fight here!? It sure as hell wasn't a sense of fucking justice! Why the-

Humanity.

The reminder made me still. Right, Humanity! That's what I came here for!

…Wait, why didn't I gather anything from killing this fucker?

I quickly checked the exorcists' corpse with E.E and… oh for fuck's sake.

No way this asshole's still alive.

With a grunt of effort, I got on my feet, picked up my gun with my only hand left, and took a step towards the exorcist's body, who was barely shaking his head and moving his fingers a little bit. The blood kept pouring from his forehead, making a new pool of blood in this property.

If I listened closely, I could hear something coming from him.

"...F-fucker…. K-kill you… f… d- demon… "

How supremely unhelpful.

I didn't bother with any more theatrics, I needed the fucking humanity and I needed it NOW.

I aimed the gun, made sure to aim at his frontal lobe again, and simply,

BANG!

The body gave one last spasm, then moved no more. As soon as he died, I could feel it. I could feel them. White energy coming from his corpse, right into my body.

"Oh, oh YES."

I could feel the Souls enter my body, his life essence becoming part of mine through conquest. I could feel it filling the void that I was, just a little. I felt just a tiny bit more whole.

The sensation was fantastic… but I was still missing something.

"Where's the Humanity."

I looked at the corpse of the exorcist and frowned. He must've been human, right?

After a few seconds, I decided to just try what I did with the bloodstain, I extended my left hand to the body and hoped for the best. Unlike with the bloodstain, something didn't immediately come back to me, as if it was energy wishing to return to its rightful place. No, nothing like that.

But I did feel something there. And so, I pulled.

As I pulled, as I forced whatever was inside the exorcist to fucking LEAVE its body, something began to take form at the palm of my hand. Something black, as if it was pure darkness, outlined by a white sort of energy. It looked right so I kept pulling, and pulling, and pulling, and pulling, and-

And then I was done.

Without even realizing it, there was simply nothing more to pull from. Now in front of me was just a corpse, a completely empty, worthless carcass with two big fucking bullets through its brain. And in my hand…

Was a black sprite, with a thin white outline.

Humanity.

It was odd, it wasn't the same as what I had gathered from the bloodstained. I felt like I could save the sprite of Humanity in my pockets and it would just stay there, like any other item. Convenient, if nothing else.

For now, I pocketed it. I still needed to loot the place.

In fact, now that I thought about it, something changed now that the exorcist was dead. When I first encountered the house, I couldn't feel any cars around the street, or even people. It was completely deserted.

But now… I could easily hear the sounds of cars.

Shit. Was he blocking people off from getting here?

I needed to get out of here fast, this murder scene was horrific enough when I entered, and it was worse now with the addition of another corpse with multiple bullet wounds. I really didn't want to get the police on my case, or worse yet, Rias and her troupe of shitheads.

Quickly, I made a fast dash for all I needed here. Precisely, the exorcists' gun and lightsaber thing. Kneeling down, I first pocketed my gun, then grabbed the lightsaber by the handle-

Only for me to drop it with a single touch.

"Shit! This is burning!"

The handle felt horrifically hot for some reason. I didn't bother wondering why exactly it was so hot, I just took off the bandanna from my face, wrapped it around my hand, then grabbed the lightsaber.

It still felt horribly hot, but it was enough to let me press the button on its side. With a single press, the lightsaber turned off, now just a handle of horrific temperature.

I pocketed the saber on one of my jacket's pockets, then ran back inside. I didn't bother staying long, just making a direct line to the gun the exorcist dropped, and although the thought of possibly harvesting humanity from the dead girl inside went through my head, I really didn't want to stay here longer than I needed.

Loot gathered, I ran back outside, quickly kneeled down the exorcists' side to take ammo for his gun, and finally absconded from the place without looking back at the exorcists' corpse, going back to the alleyways I came from, now a few Souls richer, with a new gun and also a cool new lightsaber.

Best of all, it only took me half-an-arm.

Today was the day of good deals, it seemed.

---

"And… Fuck, there we go, all set, right?"

I looked at the makeshift fire pit with some sort of abject pride. I had it built inside a fenced area by the city center that looked pretty abandoned, the fence itself already broken before I got here and perfect for entering. The place was obviously dirty, but it was a small inconspicuous space that didn't really attract any attention.

At the center of the space was a poor excuse of a firepit. A small circle of pebbles, with whatever wooden things I could find in the trash.

But… something was missing. I didn't know why I thought that way, as far as I knew the firepit was good enough to light, but it didn't feel right. At all.

I stared at my shoddy work, eyes narrowing.

After a few moments, I snapped my fingers.

"It needs a stick."

It was a stupid addition, really, but it felt right for some reason. I quickly looked around the place and the nearby trash. Soon enough, I had a metal rod in my hands.

With an odd sense of satisfaction, I buried the metal stick into the pile of firewood. Now my bonfire had a metal rod sticking out, looking absolutely… perfect.

Rummaging in my pockets, I produced the small sprite of Humanity I harvested from the exorcist. Extending my hand to the bonfire, acting out of pure, primal instinct given to me by the Darksign, I held the piece of Humanity to it.

With purpose, I firmly crushed the Humanity in my hands, feeling how all that it contained, all the essence of Humanity within, spilled down to the bonfire. The second the Humanity juice made contact with the wood-

Flames. Beautiful, beautiful flames.

In one instant, this small decrepit space, dark and filthy, became warmly lit, with even the smallest of objects in the vicinity producing sharp shadows behind them. The flames within the bonfire danced languidly while hugging the metal rod, which now stood proudly inside it.

This… This was comfortable.

BONFIRE LIT.

I took a deep breath, savoring the light of the bonfire. I had planned to revert to my human visage as soon as I had this shit lit… but I wanted to sit down for a second. Just enjoy the flames.

And so I did. I dropped my backpack to the side, stretched my arms, then sat down by the fire, its flames hypnotic and relaxed. Even if it was useless, I closed my eyes, and let the warmth of the flames wash over me.

As if by magic, I could feel all of my exhaustion wash away. The wear and tear provoked by the day suddenly felt irrelevant and nonexistent. The beautiful flames… they were so pretty that I-

I let out a small (and most definitely manly) scream as I laid witness to something horrible with E.E.

"Oh! This- This is fucking disgusting. Jesus Christ."

I focused my gaze, adding another pair of eyes, to the process of my right arm growing new bones, meat and tissue. I saw in full detail how my sad little stump began to grow and reform, granting me sights that I wished I could erase from my memory.

They weren't kidding when they said the bonfire fucking healed you. This was traumatizing.

One concerning minute later, it was done. I stared perplexed at my brand new right arm, hand and all. It was exactly as I remembered, clenching my fists and flexing my arm as if to test if I had finally lost the mental warfare against the ever elusive DxD.

But nope, it was all real. Brand new arm, and all it cost was killing a weird fucking exorcist for his Humanity. One good deed at a time, folks.

Speaking of which, I turned my head to the bonfire and extended my hand, again closing my eyes for proper effect.

I searched within me, poking and prodding for anything I could sense. Something like this would've been unthinkable this morning, but ever since I died and turned into an Undead, it seemed as if my connection with the spiritual or supernatural had grown, at least in regards to my own things.

Sure enough, I felt it. My Humanity, the one piece of it I had inside me.

…This process would consume it. After it, I would be left with no humanity in me. It felt odd and nothing if not concerning, especially considering this wasn't some random guys' Humanity, it was mine. But it needed to be done.

So I took hold of it, and feeling the all-healing heat of the bonfire in front of me, I let the Humanity wash over me, letting it combine with the warmth of the flames.

Eyes Everywhere caught every second of the transformation back, of how the energy I released from my hand began covering every single part of me, putting me back together as I was before. The bonfire, as if giving guidance, helped the Humanity reshape my body as to how it was before.

Not before long, I gazed at myself with E.E, and I saw, despite all that had happened today, me.

It was easily noticeable that the restoration, unlike the creation of that arm, wasn't perfect. My face, that already wasn't the most flattering, had become much paler, and the already deep eyebags had become completely sunken. I looked like absolute shit, but at least, I didn't look like a zombie, and that in and of itself was a great achievement.

I glared at the sky above me, already dark and starry. It was too late to go shopping for clothes and it'd be useless to go shower myself only to get back into these clothes that had at least thirty diseases on them. So if all that was out of the question…

My stomach grumbled, comically loud.

"Fucking hungry."

I hadn't eaten since yesterday, after all.

With a grunt of effort, I forced myself to stand up. I checked my pockets to see if I had my wallet in them, grabbed my backpack off the floor, then simply left the small resting place I set up for myself. I was confident that the fire wouldn't be put out by anyone while I went to look for grub. One, it was really out of the way for people, and second…

Why would anyone take down such beautiful warmth?

…Because people were dicks, right.

---

In spite of still being a couple hours before midnight and the prior plans to hunt some strays, I became unable to step out of the bonfire's warmth for the rest of the night. With a Teriyaki McBurger down my gullet and with a couple cigarettes for good measure, I inevitably fell asleep by the fire, the comfort of the fire too good and uncommon for someone like me to enjoy.

I decided to give myself a rest for once. It was my fucking afterlife, after all. And thus, by the warm, warm bonfire, I fell asleep. Peacefully, which was something that not even in life I could truly achieve.

My peaceful sleep got interrupted by my eyes being forcefully opened by some external force. Around me, was an ever-expanding void, with the only thing in sight being an old computer set.

Goddammit.

I trudged to the desk with not a small amount of frustration. Sleep was for rest, not for this leveling business, dammit.

Eager to get this shit done with, I read the text on the ancient, white computer screen.

GREETINGS INCURSOR.

TODAY'S INCURSION HAS ENDED.

=/=

INCURSION SUMMARY:

MONEY= $61 USD ⇒ $196 USD

BULLETS = 40x 0.45 Bullets ⇒ 26x 0.45 Bullets

STATUS = Human ⇒ [Undead] Human

=/=

EXP COUNT:

3000 [XP] required for LVL.3

Ricochet Shots! [3 Times Hit]: 300xp

Avid Hustler! [30+ USD gained]: 300xp

First Canon Character Met! [Rias Gremory]: 100xp

First Taste of Light Damage! [Exorcist Light Sword]: 100 xp

Close Call! [VS. Freed]: 200xp

Killed Stray Exorcist [Freed Sellzen]: 1200xp

Death (1st Time) [Suicide]: -500xp

1800 [XP] ⇒ 3500 [XP]

NOTE: Negative XP won't reverse level-ups.

NOTE: Further deaths will multiply the XP loss by 2.

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE REACHED LEVEL 3!

+1 SKILL POINT

You have unlocked a new side skill tree, [Pyromancer]! Side skill trees don't conflict with the main skill tree, [the Perfectionist]. You may spend skill points in a side skill tree instead of a main one.

Side skill trees, unlike main ones, don't have the initial 3 free skills.

CHOOSE A NEW SKILL!

[The Perfectionist]:

[Coin Flipper]: Grants the ability [Coin Maker], letting you generate a coin with a custom value (Minimum: 1 USD) by using your own available funds. This coin is specially made for enabling Ricochet shots and cannot be normally used for exchanges. Depending on the value, it can increase the DMG of the shot with a multiplier (2x Mult = 10 US) with no upper limit. You can generate up to 4 coins with no cooldown. The coins will disintegrate after they're thrown and stop being in the air.

[Ricochet Junkie]: For every Ricochet a shot goes through before impact, the DMG of the projectile gets multiplied by 1.5x DMG. You also gain the ability [Willful Ricochet], letting you choose at will when a projectile shot by you will Ricochet instead of landing.

[The Hood Splitter]: Your shots gain the ability [Shot-Splitter]. If a target receives two shots, and the second one lands on top of the previous one, [Shot-Splitter] triggers, making the first shot explode in shrapnel and giving the second shot a 5x DMG multiplier while vastly boosting the piercing capabilities of it.

[Pyromancer]:

[Basic Pyrokinesis]: Grants the ability [Pyrokinesis], making you able to generate a flame in your hand that can be expanded and controlled. It is limited to your hand and upon throwing the flame or dropping it, it will die.

{Gunman / Pyromancer} skill available for unlocking!

[Actual Finger Gun]: Grants you the ability [Finger Gun], letting you use your hand to shoot fire bullets. The strength of the bullets will depend on the progress of the [Pyromancer] skill tree.

And that's what she wrote.

I stared at the screen for a good while, weighing the pros and cons.

I definitely wasn't investing in Pyromancing for now. It seemed like it could be cool for sure, but right now I wasn't sure I could take my time progressing the skill tree if threats like the exorcist appeared again. If I went and waved my flaming hand at him he'd just proceed with beheading me… although the finger gun bit was mighty tempting, I'd admit.

That left the Perfectionist skills.

The shot-splitting one seemed really good, but I didn't think that the fuckers I could encounter here would just stand still and let me shoot them in the same exact place twice. The exorcist was proof enough of that. That left the coin one and the ricochet one.

Both were disgustingly useful. The ricochet one rewarded me for doing what I always did, plus letting me ricochet a shot as much as I wanted. The coin one essentially served two purposes, first as a damage multiplier (although the fact it drew from my funds was a bit concerning) and second as an instant surface for ricochets. Ideally I'd get both and that's that, but I needed to choose the best one now and later see if I even bought the other, since new skills from the tree would roll around.

Hnnghh, I knew that the ricochet upgrade was the safest bet. All ricochets got a boost, plus ricochet as much as I wanted. Literally flawless, zero risk, go team.

…But I wanted to shoot some fucking coins, dammit.

Besides, the damage multiplier on the coins was absolutely fucking ridiculous. No upper limit!? I knew that it would cost an obscene amount of money to even produce the coin required for an ungodly multiplier, but if we thought about it long term, once I was rich as all shit and dominated this puny fucking game like I'm meant to…

It could do some serious, serious fucking work. And in my afterlife we planned for fucking success, you shitheads.

Certain and expectant, I clicked on [Coin Flipper], and after clicking yes on a prompt asking me 'Are you sure?', I felt the new power right at the tip of my finger tips.

Idly, even aware of the fact I was inside a dream, I do the motion someone would normally do when flipping a coin, putting my thumb against my index finger and thrusting it upwards.

As I did so, thinking about the absolute minimum value, a coin formed itself from thin air at my thumb and instantly launched itself lightly, making a small arc in the air and falling to the ground (or, well, whatever this void-floor thing was called), disintegrating the second it made contact.

…I felt cool.

I looked back at the computer screen.

/

Name: Daniel García, [the Perfectionist.]

Level : Level 3 [Perfectionist] Undead Gunman.

XP: 3500

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Skill List:

- [Perfect Shots]

- [Perfect Stacks]

- [Stylish Twirl]

- [Coin Flipper] (NEW!)

Perk List:

- Eyes Everywhere

- Sharpest Shooter

Trait List:

- Darksign

Conditions:

- Undead (Darksign)

/

Ah, would you look at that, they finally updated the photo in my character sheet. Now instead of the awful previous one, now there's one of me looking like a fucking recovering addict, taken right after I used Humanity to stop looking like a zombie. Cool, very cool.

CHARACTER CHANGES HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED.

DAY-END SUMMARY DREAM CLOSING…

…

…

…

DREAM CLOSED.

SWEET DREAMS, INCURSOR!

Finally, the world went black and I resumed my sleep.

---

AN: As you can clearly see, I have indeed persisted and did the unthinkable: post a follow-up chapter. I know I said something about new Francis the Fraud chapters, but I say a lot of things, can I be blamed if those things end up being absolute total lies? Yes? No? Who knows? Not me, I never lost control.

Addressing some reviews (well, the only one) that was kind of shitting on me: progression is a thing. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Anyway, do review the chapter if you feel inclined to do so, I honestly crave to hear your opinions, even if they're shitting on me... although if you're gonna shit on me do try to keep the bare minimum politeness. And if you did enjoy this 18k words (!) monster, do let me know. Please.

That's it from me. Do make sure to leave your schedule open for when I update again in about two years.

Thanks for reading.

PD: I am going to post this story on Spacebattles shortly. Just letting you know.