AN: What? An update? In a timely manner? What fucking fantasy world have we entered?

If you want to see this chapter like intended (i,e. not subjected to FFNet's horrid formatting) then search for this story in SpaceBattles.

For once, I woke up without something smelling like piss and/or shit… okay, it still smelled awful, this was a refuge made in an abandoned space, which meant that plenty of hobos before have pissed here, and so would the hobos after me.

But the fact that I actually felt rested was enough of a rarity that it deserved a standing ovation.

In front of me, the bonfire was still lit, the flames drifting ever so slowly and gently, providing warmth with no pause. It gave this whole shithole a homey vibe that it truly didn't deserve in the slightest.

Set on proving that feeling right, I stood up and began taking a piss on one of the walls nearby.

Daniel, if this was your way of moving past being homeless then you weren't doing a very good job.

I would prove that fact once I actually had some property under my belt, thank you very much. Right now I was street waste, and if the city was gonna treat me like fucking trash then I could piss anywhere I wanted as retaliation. Fuck you, Kuoh.

As I discharged my absolute fury on this ratty abandoned wall, I began charting out the course of action for today. It was becoming quite clear that keeping myself moving every day was the most I could do for now, since it didn't seem like hustling gave much XP to level up. If I wanted levels I needed to kill shit, and so far all of the hostile, killable assholes have been chance encounters.

So, what I could do that was under my control was either hustling (which was unnecessary for now since Rias gave me that fat donation) or information gathering, and my only source of information right now was Rias herself.

I frowned as I recalled that tidbit. I actually didn't even know what to ask her, or if I even needed to ask anything. She already said everything that was of interest to me yesterday, I truly have no fucking clue what else I was supposed to gather from her.

…Right! I needed to know the greatest question of them all. I was sure that if I at least could have this answered, this whole fucking mess would make a whole lot more sense. Hopefully it'd be enough to chart a good course to another city or whatnot.

As the last drops of piss fell on the wall, I nodded to myself.

I was going to find out what the fuck Highschool DxD meant.

Before that, however, I needed a change of clothes and a fucking shower. And even before THAT…

I looked at the bonfire, frowning. I pocketed my lil' fella back in my pants, zipped it up, then got in front of the magic fireplace.

Extending my hand, I began to feel for something, something within me…

Using the bonfire's warmth as a guide, I looked within myself and- oh, there it was. I could feel my Souls.

800 Souls laid within me. Life essence harvested from that shithead Exorcist.

I tried feeling if I had any more than that, but no luck. It seemed that killing that Stray fuck the first night didn't net me any Souls since I still wasn't undead.

Now to the important bit. I concentrated and once again began to search within myself, specifically, all that I was, all of my strength, all of MY-

…Oh, was this a joke?

LVL: 1

SOULS: 800

—

Vitality: 8

Attunement: 0

Endurance: 8

Strength: 8

Dexterity: 12

Resistance: 15

Intelligence: 10

Faith: 0

—

Humanity: 0

Why… Why could I feel a perfectly ordered sheet? Were those supposed to be my… what, characteristics? Statistics? Why the fuck was the most magical part of this fucking experience so far, that didn't involve using a magazine or a fucking ancient computer for upgrading myself, involve an actual numbers sheet?

I felt terribly disappointed with the discovery, dreading having to worry about more 'character' bullshit. It didn't help that it seemed actually worse than the upgrades I got while sleeping.

No matter, these were supposed to be aimed at increasing my own strength, and goddamn I was gonna get stronger. In fact, that Strength stat looked miserable, if I wanted to increase it…

I felt for my 'Strength' stat, and I tried using my Souls to upgrade it. As soon as I had the thought, I felt the cost of such an action.

Strength: 8 ⇒ 9

Cost: 673

What a useless fucking cunt I murdered yesterday. He was such a pain in the ass to kill and yet he only gave me enough to barely increase a stat. Before I upgraded, though, I gave the transaction some thought.

Was Strength really what I needed here? Could there possibly be a more important aspect of myself that was worth upgrading?

…

The fuck was I talking about? I wanted the big fucking muscles, and I was punching those devils to death if they ever got too close to me. The secret weapon, as it were.

Confirming the upgrade, I felt my Strength increase… a little bit, but that was fine. It would add up, eventually. After the upgrade, I was left with barely a few Souls.

Souls: 127

I idly noticed that the cost of upgrading all stats had increased, but I didn't bother analyzing this stat sheet any further. Whenever I had Souls to spend, I'd just spend them on Strength and fuck all else. If I spent an entire lifetime already doing math only to fail miserably in the end, I would NOT do the same in this one. Fuck that.

Now, it was time to buy some clothes, then take a shower. I had spotted a very cheap clothing store while exploring the city, and I already had some ideas on how I wanted to look.

This was my afterlife, baby. I needed to at least not look like shit while I cruised through it.

"Hm… maybe a haircut, too? Is having an unshaven mug aesthetically pleasing these days…?"

Inside the petrol station bathroom, I was doing one of the harshest and cruelest methods of torture known to mankind.

"Shit, are my eyes really this bloodshot?"

Looking at myself in the mirror. Well, I could always look at myself using E.E, but it was better to just focus on the mirror and pay no mind to the infinite eyes looking at my horrid self from every direction.

Granted, it wasn't as bad as usual. For one, I had just taken a shower for the first time in…

…I felt a sudden urge to not discuss this particular topic. Let's just say that it took me dying to actually get myself cleaned up for once.

Aside from that, I was wearing honest-to-god new clothes. Well, new second-hand clothes, I wasn't about to waste my entire budget on clothing since I was still missing a solution for my bullet problem, and I didn't want to splurge on things before getting that settled.

A clean (it was sad that I had to clarify this) gray long-sleeved shirt hugged my upper-body, feeling quite snug and comfy. I was also wearing a fresh pair of loosely-fitting black jeans, with a cheap leather-belt securing it to my waist. I also naturally bought some cheap socks and boxers.

My shoes were the same as always though, since they weren't atrociously dirty or torn apart. New ones were also expensive as shit.

Overall, this little expenditure ran me about $68 USD. A steal, if we're being honest, since I also got a jacket that's folded next to me. A neat gray parka jacket that would help with the nightly cold.

I had $128 USD left after the little shopping trip. $118 after paying for access to the shower, a toothbrush and toothpaste, some deodorant, plus the little packets of shampoo and soap.

Kuoh was now hosting the cleanest hobo in the world.

"Tch, maybe I should just mug people."

Concerning statements like that were made as I turned my face from one side to the other while gazing at myself. It had been a long time since I saw myself with damp, clean hair and although my face still looked ghastly in general considering my recent zombification, it was better than the usual, feeling myself fresh for a change.

I thoughtfully rubbed my chin, feeling the hairs of my stubble.

"I don't look half-bad…. I could trim this bitch, though."

Nodding sagely, I washed my face using the faucet, then began saving my hygiene stuff inside my backpack (which still reeked of trash, but you know, baby-steps) and finally wore the jacket, leaving it unzipped.

…Huh.

"I actually don't look homeless, for once."

Good as that fact was, it still didn't change that at the end of the day I'd go to sleep by a bonfire inside an alleyway… still, dress for the job you want and all that, this was a good change.

Now that the matter of my personal hygiene was finally taken care of after God knows how long, I exited the showers, bought myself another McTeriyaki burger on the way ($113 left), and then, by 1 PM, I reached a payphone.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that, unlike in Chile, the payphone actually fucking worked, and it wasn't just a magnet for hobos to go and piss all over them for sport.

…As a note for later, I should probably reevaluate how much of my life has revolved around pissing in public spaces. It was concerning, to say the least.

While reading the business card Rias gave me yesterday (which was stored in my backpack, the reading being done conveniently by E.E) I dialed the number and inserted a loose 100 yen coin I had from yesterday's hustle. Idly biting the McTeriyaki burger (which was quickly becoming the only thing on my diet) I waited for someone to answer.

…Goddamn, why the fuck haven't they exported the McTeriyaki to anywhere else in the world. Fuck me.

Finally, the line got picked up.

"Hello? Who is this?"

Swallowing the bite of burger beforehand, I answered.

"It's Daniel."

After hearing some silence from the other side, I hesitantly added.

"...you know, the homeless guy?"

A low, womanly chuckle came from the other end.

"Why yes, I know who you are. I'm just looking for the President. Please wait a little."

I frowned at her answer, but wisely and calmly decided to not start fights with Rias' secretary or whatever she was… Despite how much I wanted to, since she was just assuming (correctly) that I was homeless. Okay, I know I just told her that I was homeless but it's the principle of the matter.

…Fuck this bitch.

Before my thoughts could get any more violent, a familiar, pleasant voice came on.

"Hello Daniel, I take it you're ready to talk about my offer then?"

Right, she still thought I was interested.

"Yeah… about that-"

"Before you say anything, maybe we should discuss this face to face?"

There really wasn't any need for that.

"See, I just-"

"We can discuss this inside my, well, headquarters in this city, as it were. Please, come to Kuoh Academy, I'll have someone waiting for you there. You can come right now, if you like."

…I took another bite from the McTeriyaki. I was getting absolutely shoved into a face-to-face meeting that would help absolutely no one, but I'd admit that I was curious about what the demon's headquarters looked like. And why those headquarters were located inside a highschool. Mostly the second part.

"Fucking— sure, whatever. I'll go right now, I guess."

I didn't bother with more pleasantries, simply hanging up the phone. I really wanted to skip town already. Sure, I had a bonfire here, which was cool, but I could create more (at the cost of a human life) and frankly this was a very boring town overall, devils residing here notwithstanding.

With my funds I could've easily gotten a bus or train ticket (the last one being a cool novelty for me), so I was going to do this meeting with Rias, ask the questions I needed answers to, then go somewhere else. Frankly, the benefits of doing so were endless.

First, I'd no longer be under the watchful eye of Rias and her gang of colorful teens, so I could actually do what I did best and start the mugging enterprise again. Second, I would probably encounter more of these 'strays' to gain XP since they weren't getting actively hunted by Rias' gang, and finally, and the most important one of them all…

I wanted to visit more places. Tourism, if you will.

I was a simple man at the end of the day.

Plans now set, I gulped the rest of the McTeriyaki down my gullet. Then, with a bit of pep in my step, I headed for Kuoh Academy.

…I hope no one there recognized the crazy man with the gun from the day before yesterday.

It took a little while, but I finally reached the gates of the frankly ridiculous school. The academy looked like a lavish waste of money of which its only purpose was to mock the common populace, with its tall infrastructure and old-timey sort of vibe, the kind that would have pretentious shitty piano music playing inside it 24/7. It looked like only rich-snobby fuckers would ever spend their lifetime's worth of daddy's money to attend this shithole shrine to capitalism, getting a free pass into perfect jobs with daddy's connections and while we were fucking at it add that they didn't even need to fucking work in the first place or to even get the damned education to begin with because they already won at life by simply being FUCKING BORN with the SHINIEST FUCKING SILVER SPOON up their FUCKING ASSHOLE.

…No, I was NOT sour about my education. Shut the fuck up.

As I neared the gates, I spotted the small white-haired girl from yesterday, wearing what seemed to be the school uniform (which sported a scandalously short skirt, short enough that it made me want to call the school in the guise of a concerned parent). She gave me a bored look, which quickly turned into one of disapproval.

"You can't smoke here."

Fucking hell.

"Says who," I retorted, because I wasn't about to get policed by a teenage girl with stupid hair that's hiding a cat-tail up her bum.

"The academy's rules. You can't smoke here. It's also disgusting."

I considered momentarily to acquiesce to her rather reasonable request, then firmly discarded the notion.

Ever since I arrived here, I haven't been able to finish a single fucking cigarette without something interrupting me. Be it demons with thousands of tits, murder scenes, or nosy assholes like this little girl. Okay, I have smoked cigarettes other times without interruption, but IT WAS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE MATTER.

I took a rather slow drag of the cigarette, savoring the disapproval of the girl's gaze, then smoothly let out the smoke past my lips.

"If this is meant to help the recruitment efforts then I think you're doing a piss-poor job at it."

She stayed silent, probably debating internally if she should raise a bigger fuss about this, then sighed in resignation.

"Just follow me."

Ah, the taste of victory. Adult man: 1 - Teenage girl: 0.

I followed her into the school grounds, some students milling around which made me raise an eyebrow. Why the fuck were students at school in a Saturday? Were they masochists?

Inevitably, my attempts at looking at them like they were the freaks were thwarted once people noticed me following the girl.

"Huh? Who's that guy?"

"Why's he following Koneko-chan? Is he a teacher?"

"He's smoking…"

"Eek! Is he glaring at us!?"

I was, indeed, glaring at them. In turn, I could feel a dozen glares from some other direction. Turning my head, I could see a group of students, boys and girls, glaring at me.

"He should get away from Koneko-chan."

"He looks like bad news, doesn't he?"

"I will kill him! Kill him!"

"Rip him to shreds!"

…Concerning, especially since that last part wasn't even a hushed whisper, they just yelled that.

I looked at the girl (which was named Koneko, apparently) and tried to see if she had anything to say about such outward violent threats.

Judging by E.E, not a single reaction on her face. Not even a twitch of the eyes.

Concerning.

Still, in absolute defiance of common proper manners, I kept smoking undeterred in a school space.

After much following, I was taken in front of yet another lavishly built two-story school building (the existence of which elicited no harsh opinions on rich assholes whatsoever) that looked a bit worn out, located quite a bit far from the main lavishly built school building for assholes.

No, I was not sour. Stop asking.

Koneko acknowledged me for the first time since she began leading me here.

"You can't enter there while smoking."

I frowned, but even I had limits to the extent I was going to argue with a teenage girl. I took one last drag from the cigarette to finish it, then took it out of my lips to toss it aside.

…The girl's glare hardened. Fine.

I rolled my eyes and simply stored the cigarette in my pocket for later disposal AKA: as soon as she wasn't looking.

Seemingly satisfied, Koneko opened the door to the building. Before I stepped in, I threw the cigarette stub aside on the ground, in protest against schools built for rich assholes.

Inside looked a bit unkempt, frankly. Not messy, but clearly unused, with thin layers of dust coating all of the floor and walls. It looked like a normal, if a bit antiquated, school building. Koneko silently led me up the stairs, then into a hallway with numerous doors by the side, probably leading to classrooms.

At the end of the hallway, rested a black door, much cleaner than the rest of the place. Koneko simply knocked once.

"Enter, please," said a voice that wasn't Rias'.

Koneko opened the door and inside was… a lounge? There were couches surrounding a small table and a large desk by the front of the room. The floor was covered in a probably very expensive red carpet, and the walls were covered in paintings that looked prime for decorating walls for rich assholes.

It was a very opulent living room, kind of.

Sitting in one of the couches, was the flying girl from yesterday, the one with black hair.

"Ara~, until you finally decided to come, Daniel-kun. We were starting to worry here."

I would've put some focus on her or what she was saying, but sadly for her, there was something distracting me.

There was a shower in this fucking lounge, for some godforsaken reason. By the side, with the only thing dividing the shower and everything else being a long curtain that did a very poor job of covering what was happening on the other side.

Even with an effective curtain there, it would've been for naught, for Eyes Everywhere was always active and that fucking shower was within range.

And inside was Rias. Showering. For some fucking reason.

Granted, it was good eye-candy. Very good eye-candy actually. And sure, she was undeniably attractive, but I wasn't no fucking moron. No one invited someone over and then mistakenly showered in their lounge-shower by accident.

Were… were these attempts at seduction? Was she hoping I fell under servitude by thinking with my dick?

Were the circumstances different, I would've fell for it hook, line and sinker, but that wasn't the case now. I was a big man with big ambitions, after all.

I promptly decided to ignore whatever was happening there (which was hard since E.E was always active and I had to endure the horrible fate of ogling an attractive wet naked woman) and instead answered the ponytail girl.

"Well, I didn't really want to come here, but your owner kind of insisted."

I made no attempt to side-step the 'slave' conversation. Also, I couldn't help but gaze with my eyes to the side.

"Could I know why she decided this was a great moment to take a shower? In her inexplicable lounge-shower, no less."

The ponytail girl chuckled amused at my query.

"She just thought you'd take a bit longer to get here. I must say though, you've cleaned up after yourself since yesterday. You look quite dashing."

I believed no words from her, but grunted in affirmation anyway. Not wanting to stand in line of sight of the shower, I stepped in further and took a seat in one of the couches, taking off my backpack and leaving it on the floor. In a moment, the ponytail girl stood up and served me a cup of tea, the liquid gently pouring out of a very expensive looking teapot.

…I should've considered robbing this place before I skipped town.

"Please," said the ponytail girl, presenting the cup with a firmly stuck smile on her face. "The President will be done in a moment."

I took the cup and simply drank the tea. It had been a long, long time since I last had a cup of tea, and I was honestly missing it.

To my surprise, the tea was quite good.

"It's pretty good," I said off-handedly, taking another sip.

"Thank you," she answered, still smiling.

And we fell into silence. It felt a bit awkward, but it was probably intentional, since the only thing that could be heard was the shower and how the water fell from her body.

Still, in a mighty show of willpower, I did NOT pop any sort of boner or any other bodily reaction. Mostly because after three days of having E.E, the X-Ray vision that let me look at literally anything I wanted, the naked body of a woman (or a man) didn't elicit any response in me. At least, not in the context of unwilling ogling. If I used my own two eyes for it, that would've probably been another thing.

Eventually, Rias stepped out of her lounge-shower dressed in the school uniform, which still had a way too short skirt. She gazed in my direction (my own gaze was stuck in my cup, unwilling to focus anywhere else) and smiled gently.

"Daniel, it's a pleasure to see you. I'm sorry about the shower, but I just didn't expect you to arrive so soon."

I looked back at her and frowned.

"Sure," I said, putting all of the sarcasm I had into the word.

As Rias got a view of my face, she looked surprised.

"My, you look a lot better today, Daniel… but also a bit pale. Are you okay?"

Must've noticed my post-zombie paleness. I simply shrugged my shoulders.

"Rough night, is all. Can we please just talk already?"

She nodded and made her way to the desk, sitting behind it and crossing her hands.

"So, have you given thought to my offer?"

I couldn't help but look at her a bit miffed.

"Yeah, and I could've told you over the phone that it just wasn't happening."

She sighed at my response. "But I can't help but wonder if you've truly given thought to it. Yesterday it seemed like you were quite into the idea, and now you're just firmly stuck in rejecting it."

"Yeah, I was acting. So I could stop the conversation."

Actually, I was acting so I could potentially kill myself and become a stray devil, but that was out of the question now.

"You don't need to act with me, you know?"

"Apparently I do, since you just can't take a fucking no for an answer."

We were both staring at each other now, me glaring at her while she simply kept a neutral look, as if considering her next move. As we were engaged in the stare-down, ponytail girl chuckled.

"My, look at the sparks fly."

We both turned our stares to the ponytail girl.

"In what fucking loopy land does rejecting a slavery offer constitute as sparks."

"Not now, Akeno."

Instead of looking chastised, she just seemed even more pleased by our responses, as if vindicated.

Rias sighed, deciding to ignore her slave's interjection.

"Look, Daniel, do you even understand the lengths you could reach simply by becoming a devil? You're such an impressive human out of sheer natural skills, without a Sacred Gear whatsoever. If you became a devil, I would ensure—guarantee, even—that you'd become a powerhouse with the proper training you deserve."

Before I could again interject, she continued.

"And I know your stance on slavery. I'd be more than willing to sign a contract—a binding contract—that states that you shall not ever be treated as a slave. You'd be a slave in name only, but you would have all the benefits of becoming a devil plus the benefits of being part of the Gremory family. My family. Of course you'd still have to participate in Rating Games and things like contract-work, but those will be properly compensated by me. Personally. I will make sure that you get paid out of my own pocket."

She gave me a determined, set look.

"You wouldn't be a slave. I would never make you one."

I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Perhaps this was the Impostor Syndrome I read about long ago, when I dreamt of entering medical school? This girl was willing to practically beg for my allegiance, but it was under the basis that I was naturally this gifted gunman when in reality I just got given this power… but the feeling didn't last long. After all, I spent an entire life of misery before getting here, I was NOT about to waste the chance to become a powerful motherfucker by feeling guilty about shit.

That said, I looked at Rias and answered her own determined gaze with my own.

"Rias, I understand that you treat your… family properly. But that isn't the issue, I just don't want to bind myself to anyone. Anyone. I'm sorry, but no amount of clauses or concessions will make me agree."

She didn't relent.

"And what about your potential? You could become so much stronger if you just accepted entering my peerage."

"I will become stronger, but I will do so in another way. Without becoming a devil. Sure, it'll probably slower, but I can fucking assure you that I won't be lesser than you devils."

She didn't seem convinced by my argument.

"You… really don't understand how unfathomably powerful devils can be, Daniel."

"I don't care, I will shoot all of em' dead. I got my methods."

"Daniel, I know you've been able to manage through for now, but unfortunately not everyone— in fact, most competent supernatural beings won't be affected by a simple bullet."

"I. Don't. Care." I insisted, leaning forward and fixing Rias with a glare. "I will teach them to eat shit and lead all the same."

Even though I kept insisting, Rias still looked unconvinced of my certainty. I could probably tell why, in her eyes I was some homeless asshole who, despite having unnaturally good skills, just now stumbled upon this supernatural shit. In her eyes, my only method of self-defense was my gun.

She thought that I was ignorant and unwilling, she didn't know that I was an immortal zombie that got power-ups whenever I killed enough things. That I had a coin that could infinitely multiply the damage of a single bullet as long as I had enough cash to do so. That I was an 'Incursor', an existence so reviled in Heaven and by YHWH Himself that they treated me with open hostility because Incursors famously were power-abusing assholes who could get away with whatever they wanted since they were so fucking powerful.

I would become stronger. Absurdly, stupidly stronger… but not now, now I was still weak, and there was no way I could make Rias understand that this wouldn't last.

So, I didn't bother in reaffirming myself any further, I just shook my head.

"Look Rias, I'm sorry, but it's just not happening. I'm leaving today, actually. I just came here to ask some questions and after that I'll be out of your hair."

That got a reaction from her, her eyes widening.

"I- Look, Daniel, I'm really, really asking you to think this through. It's not even about what I could possibly gain at this point, I'm more concerned about you."

She paused for a second, as if mulling it over.

"I know what happened yesterday. With the exorcist."

…Shit, there was some pretty compromising shit in that encounter.

Mainly, the fact I got my arm severed.

I leaned over, crossing my own hands.

"What do you mean, exactly?"

Her face turned complicated.

"One woman got murdered inside her own home, 26 years old, and by her front lawn was what we presume to be her murderer, an excommunicated exorcist, who probably heard about the woman's interest in the occult. She was intending to summon one of us for a contract before he arrived and murdered her. The exorcist's corpse had numerous bullet wounds."

Rias searched within her desk and produced some papers, probably detailing all about the murder scene.

"They're the same caliber as your gun, Daniel."

I looked at her for a second, then simply decided to shrug.

"He was a very unpleasant freak, to be fair. He deserved it."

She nodded.

"He truly was, but Daniel, do you not realize? You're stepping into the supernatural too much, too fast. It's not easy for a normal human to take down an exorcist, excommunicated or not, so what happened yesterday is impressive, but you're probably going to end up chewing more than you can swallow at this rate."

I took a sip from the teacup (which was getting cold) and addressed her point.

"Look, I don't intend on doing that. If anything, the extent of my involvement with the supernatural will be to kill 'stray devils' which, by your own account, were free game, and anything other than that will be simple matter of chance, like what happened yesterday."

She looked at me for a second, then simply sighed, as if a bit resigned.

"You're not going to go unaccounted for, at least not for long. One way or another, you're going to stand out, and I'd really prefer it if by the time you're noticed by the supernatural that you're with me and my peerage."

"Well, I already said that ain't fucking happening, so tough luck."

She looked at me with some sort of sadness and looked beyond me, as if thinking deeply.

"Is there… truly no way to convince you? I noticed yesterday that you seemed to be interested in me, at least by your reaction to the possibility I wasn't of age."

Shit, I really shouldn't have made that outburst. Rias looked back at me, seriously.

"If you… If it truly was something you wished for, if it was enough to convince you, I'd be willing to, in exchange for you entering my peerage, to-"

"Let's please not go there."

It was a bit pitiful, to see the extent at which she'd be willing to go for me just to enter her peerage. It had gone from annoying to just sad.

She seemed to realize this herself, quickly shaking her head and averting her gaze from me.

"I-I'm sorry. I just really needed this, someone potentially powerful to enter my peerage. It's a matter of life or death for me, my entire freedom hangs over this."

I looked at her, now it was my turn to be disbelieving.

"Okay, I know I can shoot a good shot and all, but there's no way I'm good enough to warrant…"

I thought back to the suggestion that I thankfully interrupted.

"...that."

Rias shook her head.

"That's the thing though, you are my best bet. The other possible piece I've been setting my eyes upon could have potential, I have already confirmed the existence of a Sacred Gear within him… but he has absolutely no experience, either in the supernatural or in fighting. You so far have shown incredible promise, using only a gun. A normal gun that shoots normal bullets. Your potential could be massive, if this is already the baseline."

She sighed.

"You do warrant that offer, Daniel, considering my situation."

I couldn't conceal the pity behind my eyes, even without fully understanding whatever she was going through, and Rias clearly could feel it as she stared at the back of the room.

"You don't have to say anything," she said, still not glancing at me. "Or even take anything I just said into consideration, really. Just as this is life or death for me, so is the decision to enter a peerage for you. I won't insist any further, and I'm sorry this conversation had to turn in this direction."

Rias took a moment to compose herself, then turned her face back at me.

"If you truly need to go today, then I wish you good luck. Truly. And if you ever need some help, I'll try to do what I can if you call me."

…It dawned on me that the girl in front of me really wasn't a bad person. Sure, maybe these were 8-dimensional manipulation tactics, but what I saw in front of me was a desperate girl. For what reason? Who fucking knew, I just knew that she was desperate.

I took a glance at Akeno, who had dropped her serene smile a while ago.

Despite my analysis of the situation, I still wasn't intending on doing jack-shit about Rias' situation. In fact, I thought it was high time I got the fuck out of here.

I told her simply.

"I'll just go then."

Pause.

"Right, I got some questions before I go. You know, just making sure I'm not missing anything to get fucked over later."

Sensing the change in topic, Rias got the gloom out of her face and just gave me a tired smile.

"What is it, Daniel-kun?"

I would never get used to such murder on my name, but I made no comment on it, instead going for things that stood out to me.

"The fuck's a Sacred Gear?"

She stared at me for a bit, then just let out yet another tired sigh.

"I guess I won't ever not be concerned about you with such little knowledge about the supernatural, but I guess it's better if I just fill you in on what I can."

And fill me in she did. Long story short, Sacred Gears were simply powers that only humans could be born with.

I pointed at myself.

"Do I have one?"

"Nope. I can sense when a potential human has a Sacred Gear within them, and you have nothing."

I tastefully didn't mention that some of my [Skills] could've easily passed as Sacred Gears and asked the only other question that was pressing over me. Easily the most important one of them all.

It was so vital that even though I was always aware of what was happening within E.E's radius, I still gave another three or four checks around the perimeter, to make sure there wasn't some camouflaged asshole listening in or something.

Once the security was assured, I leaned forward and gave Rias a serious look. She also got the vibe that the next question would be important, so she also leaned in just a little bit, interested in what my query would be.

I swallowed, then asked.

"What… What is 'Highschool DxD'?"

She paused, as if processing my question, then just raised an eyebrow.

"I have no idea."

…

"Well, that fucking sucks then."

This entire conversation had been useless. I just got trauma dumped and learned nothing of usefulness. What a fucking waste of an afternoon.

Promptly, I stood up from the couch, grabbed my trusty backpack off the ground and put it over one shoulder, then just said to both Rias and Akeno (which probably was the secretary's name):

"Well, bye-bye, I guess. Take care."

Which sure, some people might have considered a bit cold-hearted. After all, it seemed that Rias hadn't told a lot of people that she was in a serious situation, serious enough that she considered lending out her ass to me for entering her peerage.

But alas, I had been blessed with sacred knowledge that would (morally) make it so I didn't give any further shits.

Rich people were rich. Therefore, their problems didn't matter.

Weren't YOU planning to be rich, Daniel?

Yup.

Wasn't that a bit… hypocritical, maybe?

That's the thing, dear Conscience, by the time I'd become rich, those would be my problems. Then I'd care. Now I was a homeless bum so I got to shit on them guilt-free.

That sounds like you're just an uncaring asshole.

WELL THEN, WASN'T THAT A NICE FUCKING VIEW YOU GOT FROM ATOP OF YOUR IVORY FUCKING TOWER, YOU JUDGEMENTAL PIECE OF SHIT. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Internal discussion now done, I simply turned my back and walked out. I could see with E.E that Rias opened her mouth as if to say anything, then just simply didn't. There were no more words to exchange between us, it seemed.

Exiting the lounge, I found Koneko waiting for me. She didn't bother saying anything to me, just leading me out of the building, right back to the gates.

What a shitshow.

As soon as he left the room, Rias Gremory let out a weary sigh, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

Her Queen took one look at her and gave her a sad smile.

"So… we return to the original plan, yes?"

Rias appreciated her Queen's attempts to keep her thinking and tactfully avoiding any reminders that she almost proposed herself to a stranger. There was a reason she was her oldest friend… aside from the fact she found her by pure chance.

The fact she failed her first actual recruitment would be tormenting her for days to come, it seemed.

Still, she didn't want to do any more of a mopey show, so she just did her best attempt at a straight face and just nodded.

"Clearly. Hyodou Issei will have to do, and it's not like he can't be a good piece since he has that mystery Sacred Gear, so it's not the end of the world."

The fact he'd be a ridiculously easy recruitment into her peerage judging by his proclivities went unmentioned.

Akeno nodded and stood up from her seat.

"I'm going to make some tea, would you like some?"

It roughly translated to 'I'm going to force-feed you something so you stop thinking about this' but Rias didn't have it in her to begin arguing with her friend.

"Thanks, Akeno…"

Akeno's lips thinned as she saw her.

"You're concerned about him."

"How can I not be? In two days he stumbled upon a stray and an excommunicated exorcist, and considering how gung-ho he is with that gun he loves pointing around, I fear that he'll attract the wrong sort of attention."

"I noticed that you didn't mention to him the severed arm we found on the crime-scene."

Rias sighed yet again. That entire conversation had worn her out completely and it was still afternoon.

"I really didn't want him any more on edge than before. Asking him questions about why there was an inexplicable arm dropped nearby the killer would have done the opposite of that."

"An inexplicable arm that had a jacket sleeve over it covered in trash juices and other foul liquids."

Rias frowned.

"I didn't think that associating that arm to him based on the fact it reeked would've helped, Akeno."

"Or that it disintegrated into ash."

"Or that it disintegrated into ash, yes. Besides, I don't know if you noticed, but he had two arms when he was here."

Akeno raised an eyebrow.

"And I know you noticed, but dear Daniel here didn't feel like much of a human anymore."

And notice she did. Rias hadn't expected such a sudden change from yesterday's meeting, but although she couldn't pinpoint what exactly happened, she could easily tell that something within him had irreversibly changed.

"He didn't feel… entirely human. He didn't get reincarnated by some other devil, that'd be easy to tell, but whatever happened yesterday with the exorcist had some heavy consequences."

Akeno hummed, analyzing her take on the situation.

"Would he even be able to be reincarnated into a devil at this point?"

Rias thought for a second, then shook her head.

"It's pointless to think about. He thoroughly rejected my offer and I'm not about to chase him any further to get such questions answered. I need to focus on the present instead of some fairy tale version of it."

Her Queen whistled, a mix of impressiveness and teasing at her sudden gust of wisdom.

"My, those are some cool words you just said, President. Should I take the 'present' to mean Hyodou Issei?"

"Perhaps."

The Gremory heiress remained pensive for a few seconds, as if digesting some cold facts. After, she began.

"Can I be honest with you, Akeno?"

"Always."

"I'm starting to get really, really-" Rias paused for a second, having to stop the word pissed from coming out of her mouth. "-mad at having things go my way just due to luck."

Akeno tilted her head and gave her a curious gaze.

"Ara, ara. Why is that? I thought you were glad things had gone so swimmingly for you."

"I mean, I still am, but I've been relying on that Gremory luck too much. Imagine if Hyodou Issei doesn't have a particularly powerful Sacred Gear. He'd be a thoroughly weak devil if what the info we've been gathering is to be trusted."

Akeno hummed.

"I didn't think I'd hear you say such things, President. In fact, I could distinctly remember the words 'It'll work out, trust me' come out of your very own lips."

"Yes, and I'm pissed-"

She couldn't stop herself this time.

"That I ever thought that was enough. That I thought that my current peerage in the state they're in plus some random boy we know for a fact has nothing going for him aside his Sacred Gear would be enough to beat Riser. That just because I had succeeded in getting all of you into my peerage through sheer dumb luck would be enough to convince an actual man, an actual adult man into entering my peerage and that I felt the need to stoop so low as to offer myself to him in sheer pathetic desperation, because I just COULDN'T FACE ACTUAL FAILURE!"

Rias knew she was yelling now, but she couldn't bother.

"In fact, I'm not just pissed!"

She actually slammed her fist against the desk, shaking it fiercely with each word, the wood of the desk creaking painfully just as her voice gained an uncharacteristic tint of fury within it.

"I am really, really-! "

She unconsciously gathered strength in her fist, flickers of the Power of Destruction surrounding it.

"FUCKING PISSED!"

With one last slam, she broke the desk in two, loudly announcing Rias' breaking point.

Rias' gaze stuck blankly on the broken desk, splinters strewn everywhere within the clubroom, with a dozen or so papers that were inside the desk's drawers also decorating the floor. The once perfectly clean clubroom of the Occult Research Club sported a very visible, very messy wound.

Rias closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then, as if remembering she had an audience, she looked up at her Queen, who was staring at her clearly surprised, but also still perfectly composed, a hand covering her mouth as if to exaggerate her actual reaction.

"My, my, President. That's quite the potty mouth."

Rias felt a few more choice words bubble up in her throat ready to be angrily strewn in her Queen's direction, but Akeno raised a hand to silence her, and she complied… although she was still glaring at her, and the curse words that she had gone most of her life without actually saying out loud still ready to be used.

Rias would later in the day admit to herself, in solitude, that slinging around insults without a single care for decorum like a certain homeless man felt pretty cathartic. Very, very cathartic, actually.

Akeno examined her for a second.

"Well, if you truly feel that way, then perhaps you should…"

She paused, as if the answer would be obvious but still needed to be said for some reason. Just as Rias was about to employ her newly found arsenal of insults against her friend, she finished.

"...do something about it?"

Rias paused, as if processing the very obvious solution her Queen presented. Then found herself nodding.

"...Yes… Yes, you're right. I should do something about it."

Already, Rias could feel her plans with Issei, her possible new piece, crumble. She'd still recruit him, obviously, but the previous flowchart of slowly easing the normal human boy into the world of the supernatural (that didn't even get discussed previously, just assumed that it would be that way) got summarily discarded.

She wanted a piece that was skilled, but it got away from her. So, she'd just have to make sure her new piece got skilled. One way or the other.

It was time to take the kiddie gloves off, it seemed. She was not marrying fucking Riser, and she'd make sure that fucking (oh how it felt good to use that word) pervert boy got into shape. Sure, there may be complaints from him, as expected from a once normal boy… but he'd be under her servitude, so there wasn't much choice for him, really.

Aside from that.

"You know that you and the rest of the peerage are going to go through much of the same treatment as him, right?"

Akeno giggled teasingly.

"My, and what treatment is that, President?"

Rias stood up from her seat, and as she gazed at her broken desk once more, papers littered and strewn about without a care, she decided to add the cushioned chair to the pile. Just for shits and giggles. Gathering some Power of Destruction in her leg, she thoroughly destroyed the chair in one good kick, adding a new pile of trash to the now messed up clubroom.

Idly, she reminisced about how this very desk and chair had been one of numerous gifts from Sirzechs. Housewarming gifts, for when she left for the human realm. It should've felt a bit sad to see such luxurious gifts now destroyed without any sort of real purpose, and yet it felt…

Satisfying.

"The ruthless kind."

That would normally be the end of the bullshit I'd go through in this shithole city. I had tied all of my loose ends, there was nothing binding me here, all I had to do now was go to the bus station (or a train one, but I didn't know how they worked yet) and buy a ticket.

Yet…

"Hi, can you help me a bit?"

As I made my way to the station, a cute girl with black hair and wearing some trendy clothes stopped me as I walked by a quaint park. As she stopped me, I couldn't help but frown at her a little. She was bothering me, after all.

"Yeah?" I asked, because maybe she just needed the time or something.

"Can you help me look for my little brother? He got lost around the park and I just haven't been able to find him."

My frown got deeper.

"That… sounds like you need to call the police?"

What an irresponsible sister.

"No, no! It's not that serious, he always likes to hide around, but this time he's just not coming out."

"This really sounds like you need to call the police."

"I- Look! I-I'll pay you! Just help me. Please?"

I still looked at her like she was a bit of a maniac, but the mention of money made me consider the request. It still seemed kind of fishy.

"Is this a scam or something? Why are you asking me of all people?"

"You were the first guy I saw walking! And you look reliable! I- it's fine, I'll ask someone else."

I still looked at her suspiciously, but cautiously I told her.

"Fine, fine. Where did he get lost?"

"Oh, thank you! Thank you! Right around here, follow me."

She began leading me through the park, yelling 'Kouta-chan! Kouta-chan!' as she did so. I followed, a bit hesitant since I really wanted to get the fuck out of here, but alas, I wasn't a monster. There was a young child to save.

It took her offering money to move you in the slightest.

Shut up.

Aside from that, I thought that my presence there mostly worked as silent support. Maybe. I wasn't doing much of anything, but after the girl gave me a glance, I reluctantly began yelling alongside her.

"Kouta-chan! Kouta-chan!"

I did keep that weird '-chan' thing out of my mouth, though.

As we walked through the park, yelling that dumb kid's name so many times that I began thinking he was dead somewhere, I inevitably had some time to start analyzing the situation I was in.

And I began realizing that it was a weird situation. Highly unusual one.

Why did this girl think I was reliable, of all people? I looked like shit! My face was pale and sickly!

As the thought came to me, I looked around with my own two eyes, which was starting to become something I needed to do consciously since I was starting to get too caught up with E.E, and realized that… there were fewer people around here.

…Was this bitch leading me somewhere?

But why? No, more importantly, the more I thought about it the less sense her brother-story made. Why are we yelling that brat's name while walking away from the crowd? Why would you need any help? I got caught up with her pleading and begging because… well, it'd be pretty shitty to just ignore someone in need, right? Especially a cute girl. Which didn't let me actually process that this entire fucking ordeal was bullshit.

She was either scamming me… or worse.

Remembering what happened yesterday, with Rias and her troupe of assholes, I decided to consciously look inside the girl's body with E.E, analyzing every single inch of her existence with its infinite eyes.

Oh, you piece of shit.

Lo and behold, wings. This time, they were feathery and black, hidden by her shoulder blades and contracted in such a way inside her body that seemed physically impossible.

She was a Fallen Angel, if Rias' account was accurate.

This girl now most definitely didn't have a brother, and unlike Rias, this girl was actively taking me to a secluded place. There was no way in hell this bitch was planning anything good for me, and taking into consideration that these angel fuckers weren't in friendly terms with the devils, it wasn't hard to put two and two together.

So, discreetly, I put my hands inside my parka's pockets, where my lovely Colt was hidden. Holding the gun tightly by the grip, I began planning… and drew a blank.

There was no way I could kill this bitch, right? The exorcist from yesterday could fucking dodge my bullets, and that was, like, a guy, a human, and yet he could dodge my bullets like it was nothing. I did kill a stray, but she was absolutely insane and was also gigantic.

I could shoot her right now and pierce her brain and that'd be it, but if she dodged I was shit outta luck, she was too close to me and I'd get torn to shreds, and I really didn't want to die right now. It would first make me start to hunt for humanity again, then make me lose XP again which was a loss that would increase with each death, and it would also be a waste of bullets.

…Sometimes, I realized, the best way to win a confrontation was to just not have it at all.

So, mind made up, I just turned around and began walking away from her. It took her a moment to realize, since she was caught up yelling that fake kid's name, but once she did she looked genuinely surprised.

"H-Huh? Where are you going?"

"Not searching for your brother, that's for sure. I just realized I'm a piece of shit and hate children, sorry."

As I began walking away, the girl had no choice but to trail behind me.

"But I'll pay you! Please, my little brother-!"

"I just absolutely despise children. I hope your brother tripped by the road and got crushed by a truck."

Since I was giving her my back, she didn't hide the sudden expression of anger that marred her cute face. She was pissed, but since we were still in an area with traffic in the park, she couldn't just attack me. Instead, she rushed to my side and looked up to me with a mask of desperation.

"My brother is really, really young and sickly! You have to help me, please! Please don't leave!"

She was yelling this, and inevitably, it drew a lot of stares. Aha, she was trying to make me feel uncomfortable with the crowd. Surely, I wouldn't want to look bad in front of tons of strangers. Surely, I wouldn't just turn my eye the other way when a cute girl begged for my help.

Joke's on her, though. I was used to being a societal pest.

"I hope your dumb brother gets caught in a black unregistered minivan. I hope the minivan

says 'FREE CANdY' on the outside, too."

"H-Huh?"

I ignored her and increased my pace, walking away faster and firmly looking at my front. Of course, E.E still laid witness to the girl clumsily trying to keep pace with me and the brief flashes of anger.

"Please Mister, I- I need to find him! He's my baby bro-!"

I quickly looked around and tried to see how many people outside E.E's radius were staring. Four, a couple more. Shit, it was still a dangerously low amount of people, she could easily attack me right here, right now. The brief thought of pulling out my gun crossed my mind but it'd be counter-productive. I didn't want to be alone with this feathery fuck, I wanted the opposite.

So, instead, I intended to draw the crowd. Sure, the girl did things to draw attention, wanted just enough to make me uncomfortable, but she definitely didn't want enough to make it impossible to attack.

I suddenly stopped and turned around, pointing a finger at her. She almost got stabbed in the eye with the finger and stepped back a bit, looking at me confused.

"I AM NOT THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD, WENCH!"

The sudden outburst inevitably drew numerous more stares, and the girl looked like a deer in headlights as my accusatory finger put her on the spotlight.

"I- what?!"

"YOU HEARD ME RIGHT! WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING, YOU TRAITOROUS FLOOZY!? I KNOW YOU CHEATED ON ME!"

"F-Floozy!?"

The angel fuck looked offended by that last one, so I proceeded with vomiting my verbal diarrhea.

"I just can't believe that after ALL THESE YEARS you thought that you could sleep with my FUCKING BROTHER and that I wouldn't notice! Have you no shame?"

"I didn't-!"

"HAVE YOU NO SHAME!?"

I looked around to the nearest unwilling spectator and pointed a finger at him.

"Wanna know how this BITCH cheated on me!? It's funny, IT WAS ON OUR FUCKING WEDDING!"

As I kept ranting bullshit, more and more nosy people began watching the display, out of amusement or morbid curiosity, probably. The angel couldn't do anything, too, since she was in disguise as a 'helpless cute girl' and so she just had to stand there and take my verbal onslaught. Still, it was what I wanted. Lot of people were watching as I called the angel girl more creative names that meant 'bitch' and, since there were more people watching, that also meant that the likelihood of brave people being among them was much higher.

"DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT THIS WHORE RIGHT HERE LIKES SHOVING BROOMSTICK HANDLES UP HER ASS!?"

And although it was fun calling this would-be murderer more nasty names and generally pissing on whatever plan she had for me, I still needed to get the hell outta dodge.

Considering myself a betting man, I went ahead with the finale.

"I am so…. FUCKING PISSED at YOU! YOU'RE GONNA DIE!"

I firmly grabbed the girl by her shoulders and began shaking her wildly.

The second I made contact with her I could see her expression twist in actual anger, not even bothering to hide her contempt any longer. The raw, ancient anger behind those eyes was quite the sight, and I could see with E.E how her body tensed dangerously by sheer instinct.

But before anything else could happen.

"HEY! Leave her the fuck alone!"

Three men grabbed me by the shoulders and the crook of my parka and threw me aside.

"You fucking asshole! Stop yelling at her!"

As I began to pick myself up, and the men fussed over the angel who had returned to putting on her mask of cute girl, obligated to thank the men profusely, I couldn't help but let out an ugly fucking grin.

Victory.

I risked a glance back at the angel, and as she saw me looking back, with the faintest hints of absolute contempt she had for me under those eyes… I grinned cheekily, and did the dirtiest possible gesture I could with one hand.

She looked absolutely offended.

People were beginning to gather around, and not bothering to keep any kind of image or dignity, I hastily picked myself up and ran through the crowds, avoiding any more grabs or shoves from onlookers wanting to beat me up.

I needed to get the FUCK out of Kuoh.

Raynare hadn't been this disrespected in decades. Perhaps longer. That fucking hobo. That disgusting fucking hobo, not content with throwing a wrench in her plans by killing the one supposed to look over the whore nun without getting a single scratch, now dared to publicly humiliate her and-

"HE- HE CALLED ME A FLOOZY!"

Her fellow Fallen simply stared at her nonplussed, the only exception being Mittelt, who was cackling without a single care at her misfortune.

"That's-! HAHAHAHA! You are a floozy!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

Raynare was back at the abandoned church, her headquarters for her absolutely flawless plan. Inside one of the churches 'offices' were the three Fallen she had working under her, and to whom she was now obligated to report her failure after a distinct lack of blood on her hands.

Kalawarner just sighed as she watched the two of them go at it.

"So, you're telling me the so-called filthy stupid human outsmarted you?"

Raynare turned her deathly glare to her, sneering.

"No, he did not."

"It's just, I distinctly remember that you said you'd quickly take care of him, and yet here you are, seething about being called a floozy."

Mentioning the word again drove Mittelt into laughter once more, Raynare quickly getting into Kalawarmer's personal space to try and regain some respect.

"He just got lucky. I simply didn't kill him right away because I thought it was fun seeing such a stupid ape yelling a fake kid's name just because a cute girl told him to."

That was a lie, she absolutely knew she got outsmarted and felt terribly ashamed and pissed off about it. Even the fact that she couldn't just charm him as she assumed she could and instead had to promise money was something that she'd take to her grave.

Kalawarner shrugged.

"Well, either way there's a human who just went and killed Freed—the one we sent on all the field missions—while on mission and got away scot-free."

Raynare scowled at her summary of events. Dohnaseek just sighed and cracked his knuckles, rolling his neck.

"So, we just go kill him at night, then? I don't know why the hell we didn't do that last night to begin with."

At those words, Raynare sneered harder, turning her glare to him as a new target.

"Because, for some fucking reason, he became absolutely untraceable!"

"That sounds like you just couldn't find him," added Kalawarner.

"NO! He just disappeared! Like he never existed! I was following him inside those stupid fucking alleyways, he passed through a broken gate towards a mildly-lit place and then…"

Raynare's expression turned even more maddened, clutching her head with both hands.

"POOF! I just couldn't follow him! It was- It was right there! Go down the gate, corner him and kill him! And I…"

Turned around, were the words she was going to say.

She interrupted herself. Wait, he didn't disappear at all, did he? Was… Was she just suggested not to follow him? Suggested by what!?

Kalawarner just stared at her unamused. "And…?"

"Nothing!" howled Raynare, not wanting to admit that the hobo somehow managed to use a charming spell of some kind on her. She couldn't take such repeated humiliation, let alone let her underlings know of it. "We just need to kill him, and quickly! I don't want that fucking pest to interrupt my plan!"

Mittelt finally seemed to have caught her breath, enough to ask.

"How though? You know that we can't really make that much noise, considering those devil whores."

"We just catch him alone at night!"

"Only for you to lose sight of him again like a floozy?"

"LOOK HERE YOU FUCKING-!"

Before Raynare could tear Mittelt to shreds, one of the many stray exorcists that worked under her entered the room.

"We-"

Raynare turned her wrath to the random exorcist.

"What do you want!?"

The exorcist flinched at her outburst, but still continued.

"We managed to find that hobo you described."

Raynare visibly perked up at the information.

"Perfect!" An evil glint could already be seen in her eye, numerous ways to torture the disgusting man who dared to touch her flawless self crossed her mind.

"We found him at a bus station."

The wave of good feelings got quickly crushed.

"What?"

"We didn't get too close to him, there were too many people and we were in…"

The exorcist looked down at himself, clad in a priestly duster with crosses that consistently drew attention from anyone walking nearby.

"...uniform. There was no way to kill him incognito, but we did manage to see him buying a ticket. He's getting out of Kuoh today."

Oh!—were the first thoughts of Raynare—That's good! He's a non-issue now! Yay! 3

Then came the pride.

"I'm NOT letting that FILTHY HUMAN run away!"

OF COURSE HE'S AN ISSUE!—she thought—What if he comes back suddenly just to shoot poor Mittelt in the head!? Or kill the stupid nun with a random stray bullet! OR CALL ME A FLOOZY AGAIN THAT FUCKER!

Raynare was feeling a headache coming in. That fucking hobo wasn't supposed to be this much of a headache. He was supposed to be a footnote! A small ant she crushed while walking!

No, no, perhaps she was just being too emotional. She just got called a fucking floozy and her emotions were running high. The filthy human was still just a human, after all. A human that called her a floozy, but a human nonetheless.

No problem. No problem at all.

Her head (allegedly) cooled down, Raynare spoke to the exorcist.

"Okay then, tell the rest of your little priests that they have a mission, first-"

Raynare would have that hobo's head on a silver fucking platter by the end of the day, and she'd make sure to flush that thing down the fucking toilet.

I stared grimly at the half-eaten McTeriyaki in my hands.

"I need to stop eating this shit."

After escaping from the feathery bitch, I had come to the astounding conclusion that Kuoh sucked massive fucking balls and that I needed to get the fuck out of here. Thus, while keeping my path densely populated and running as much as I could, I reached the bus station and bought the earliest ticket (which left me with $68 USD). It wouldn't really matter where, since I knew jack shit about Japan and frankly I didn't care, I just wanted to travel and do tourism I never could in life. Sue me for wanting to enjoy the afterlife.

This whole shebang left me with

I gave a cursory look at the big screen that was on the wall, detailing all the departing schedules and what-not. It was mostly unhelpful, since I couldn't read Japanese, but I still knew the numbers of my bus, and I could see on the screen that it was due in ten minutes.

I looked down again at the McTeriyaki.

"I swear to God that you're the last of your kind I'm ingesting."

With one motion, I gulped down the rest of the burger, drank all that was left of the Coke that came with the burger, grabbed my backpack and ran to the designated gate.

I was actually excited for once! This would be the first time in my life I got to travel to another city! Sure, I got to Kuoh, but that wasn't much of a choice. Now I got to travel and actually experience tourism! This would be great!

More than that, I could do all my business unsupervised. No teenage devils keeping tabs on me, no sir! Just 'Stray' hunting and killing nasty criminals with my cool fucking gun!

I smiled excitedly as I reached the gate and saw the big bus that would take me away from here. Oh man, this would be great!

Good old Daniel García was going to— !

Heaven.

Grand Office of YHWH, the Creator.

Time: ?

YHWH had been stuck doing paperwork for literal ages now, signing documents that became irrelevant the second they grazed His eyes. Yet, he still had to force Himself out of His stupor and read the document closely.

Not doing that and just signing away things had been the fundamental mistake that allowed the creation of that fucking Incursor Program, after all.

His godly frown burrowed as He was reminded of that shitshow and He tried re-focusing on the piles and piles of work that awaited Him.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

Who the fuck dared to interrupt His- Bah, He couldn't even pretend to be angered anymore at things. He was too exhausted. His days of flooding the Earth because some morons said mean things about Him were long gone.

YHWH took a deep breath and spoke.

YOU MAY COME IN.

Sometimes YHWH wished He didn't cause a small earthquake every time He spoke. Sometimes.

The gargantuan door opened the slightest bit, just to let a platoon of angels carry a massive, giant button. YHWH couldn't help but stare in confusion at the odd visage. It wasn't often that a platoon of angels had to carry items for Him.

And if He wasn't mistaken, that was a YHWH-sized button.

The leading angel of the group flew up to His eye level, carrying a paper document. The angel bowed respectfully (as he fucking should) before reading the contents.

"King YHWH, due to the signing of document N°771239275, we present to you the finished prototype of project 'INCURSOR-FUCKER', which has finally entered the testing phase thanks to the low number of Incursors this year."

YHWH stared flummoxed at the angel, then at the button, but as He processed the lovely name of the button, a memory resurfaced.

RIGHT—THOUGHT YHWH—I ASKED FOR THAT CENTURIES AGO.

It really was more of a novelty than an actual weapon of any sort, but still, he remembered approving of the project's development after reading of its proposal with a sadistic glee that He thought long gone. YHWH looked at the lead angel.

SO… DOES THIS DO WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO?

The angel gave YHWH a look, as if knowing what He really wanted, but still answered.

"Pressing the button, as stated in the project's proposal, will curse the selected Incursor with one instance of bad luck wherever it can be inserted at. Minor misfortune, if you will."

Before YHWH's smile could get too big, the angel continued.

"However, this misfortune cannot directly kill the Incursor, nor put him in an unwinnable status, due to the clauses stated and signed by you in the 'Incursor Project' original document."

The reminder that he actually signed that fucking paper made it so that, down on Earth, a tsunami happened somewhere.

Hundreds died.

As soon as the unpleasantness subsided, a new set of papers (most definitely related to the tsunami) appeared on top of his already massive pile of paperwork.

Fucking fantastic.

FINE. JUST PUT THE BUTTON ON MY DESK.

…

NO, MORE TO THE RIGHT. MORE TO THE- OKAY, NOW YOU WENT OVER IT.

A LITTLE BIT TO THE- THERE, RIGHT THERE.

THANKS. NOW GET OUT OF MY OFFICE.

…

CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR, YOU ASSHOLES.

Once YHWH was left alone and the door was closed, He admired the button. It was a massive (although considering His size, it was hand-sized) black button with a number-pad attached to its side. Above the button was a small screen (which again, meant it was actually gigantic) that had a basic display.

YHWH reached to the side of the button, where an ON/OFF switch was located and flipped it.

The screen came to life.

INCURSOR-FUCKER ON!

SELECT YOUR TARGET, KING YHWH!

Truthfully, project 'INCURSOR-FUCKER' wasn't anything useful for anyone except Himself. He approved of it just to use it as a way to cope with the fact He allowed that fucking Incursor bullshit get out of hand. Even the name was just there to sate His insatiable blood-lust against the Incursors.

And yet… on His desk was now the perfect button, really.

The Button of Pettiness.

HEH…. HEHEHEHEHEH…..

One press, and an Incursor could have either his day, or week, or month, or year, or decade absolutely ruined because He decided to press a single button.

They probably wouldn't die from that. Not directly, at least, but it would be an inconvenience to the mid to low level players.

But that was enough.

Now, who to curse first….

…He really wanted to curse Incursor N°1 that fucking asshole… but he didn't.

He'd wait for the full version of the INCURSOR-FUCKER to do so, this was just the prototype after all. He'd take his time with N°1.

Instead, he just went to the latest Incursor added. He was a curious case, in YWHW's eyes, since life clearly hadn't treated him well before coming here, a sharp contrast with most of the scum-fuckers that plagued the Program.

But he was still an Incursor, so….

TARGET: N°734

INCURSOR-FUCKER ENGAGED!

For the first time in a while, a pure serene smile, the kind He had on His face when His only true son was born, came forth.

YHWH, at least for now, felt at peace.

FUCK HIM.

YHWH slammed the button.

Good old Daniel García's going to KYOTO! Wasn't that a nice place? The pictures showed that there were tons of places to visit! And better yet, NO TEEN DEVILS WATCHING OVER ME! I WOULD DO AS I PLEASED THERE! Literally perfect spot!

Suddenly, as I headed to the bus, the small pop I was becoming increasingly familiar with rang out. I stopped on my tracks, E.E already spotting a small note of paper written in angeliquese drifting down in front of me.

I didn't bother picking it out, for E.E had already read its contents.

CAUTION:

EXTERNAL FACTORS (in this case: HEAVEN) HAVE MODIFIED YOUR CURRENT SESSION.

MINOR CHANGES HAVE OCCURRED.

…What the fuck did that mean?

I paused for a second, wondering if I should do anything about the ominous message. It sounded… well, not fully serious, really. Mildly serious. Was there anything to do about this, even? The message didn't seem to think so, it was more of a 'you got fucked, tough shit' than anything else.

Oh well, how bad could it be?

Shrugging, I made my way to the bus, not willing to let the stupid message ruin my trip.

I showed my ticket, went to my seat (right at the back, by the window, because we traveled fucking comfortable) and I sat down, leaving my backpack by my feet. Leaning back, I relished the nice seat. I'd say, the Japanese knew how to make buses.

Inside the bus there was a small digital clock on the front. 5:25 PM, it read. This had been the earliest possible bus, and judging by what the ticket seller told me, we would be arriving by 1 AM or so.

It'd be a pain arriving so late at night, but I just wanted to get out of here and if this was the earliest, then I needed to fucking take it. Once I was there I'd find a good alleyway to sleep in, maybe kill some gnarly criminals to steal humanity from and make a bonfire.

A smile crossed my face. Oh yeah, there would be a ton more criminals, that was for sure. Easy Humanity and Soul harvesting.

Comfortable and content while thinking of murder, I simply waited for the bus to depart, relishing the luxury of traveling. My eyes closed, letting the wave of happiness take me.

…

…

!

My eyes snapped open. Eyes Everywhere had spotted a FUCKING EXORCIST climbing the bus RIGHT NOW.

It was weird, Eyes Everywhere seemed to be more subdued when I was consciously aware, as if assuming that I can control it by myself, but once I let go of the wheel E.E had absolutely no self-control. It's the reason why I got constantly woken up by cockroaches and insects just moving, E.E left me on hyper-edge.

And that's why I could instantly detect the exorcist entering the perimeter.

Sure, it wasn't dressed like one, with pretty normal clothes on, but I could SEE the same fucking gun and lightsaber handle from yesterday in their pockets. They were going incognito to KILL ME.

I was a fucking moron, of course these assholes would come for revenge. I instantly reached for the gun in my pockets… but stopped.

If I shot the gun, the bus most definitely wouldn't depart. At least not with me on it, and Kuoh was quickly proving to be a death trap with all these exorcists and angels looking for me.

No, I needed to get rid of them… some other way.

I frowned, how the fuck could I…?

…I looked down at my fingers. I thought of 1 USD.

Letting the powerful feeling get to my fingertips, I generated, out of thin air, a golden coin.

Hmm, I could make these coins however I wanted, right? After all, they weren't going to be used for buying things, so…

Again, I generated a coin, but made sure that it was thinner, thinner, perhaps sharper.

Another coin generated itself, much, much thinner. 1 USD read on the front of this impossible coin.

An ugly grin took over my face. Yeah, I remembered the fucking synopsis for Sharpest Shooter, this should've been enough to kill some unaware exorcists.

Now that there was one exorcist confirmed, I willed E.E to look in everyone's pockets, I didn't know if there were any more inside this bus and…

…Why the fuck were there eleven exorcists inside this bus.

Not every passenger was one, of course, but it was still a very significant number. They were spread around the vehicle. Three around the front, three around the middle, and… six around the back, where I was.

…Motherfuckers.

The exorcist I spotted climbing the bus entered and I had to watch him slowly make his way to the back. He looked like a normal guy, wearing a comfy-looking coat and pants, with the gun and lightsaber hidden in some hidden pockets within the coat.

Aaaand he sat right next to me. Fucking great. As he sat, he turned to me and smiled, seemingly innocently.

"Good evening. This one's going to be a long trip, yeah?"

…I forced a smile.

"Yup, one long-ass trip."

So this was the hobo.

He didn't get why the Fallen that's leading the whole operation insisted so fervently on eliminating this thin young man and to bring twelve exorcists into the operation. Frankly, it was a complete waste of personnel and resources, but alas, he was no leader to make any calls, and so he just obeyed.

The plan was rather simple. Wait until most of the bus was sleeping, hopefully the hobo would be sleeping too, then get rid of him, preferably by slitting his throat and making no mess or sound.

The twelve people on board were absolute overkill, but the Fallen was getting into hysterics when giving orders and he wasn't about to discuss logistics with a being that could tear him to shreds with a motion of her hand.

And so, he relaxed into his seat. After this was all said and done, maybe he'd go sightseeing in Kyoto. Sure, it'd be a very short sightseeing trip since the Youkai fucks were always alert to the likes of him, but as long as he and his team behaved they could probably take a break from being at the beck-and-call of a fucking psychotic Fallen bitch.

As soon as the clock on the front read 5:30 PM, the bus roared to life, and so began the trip.

He silently thanked God that he deemed to give him such an easy mission for no real reason. Sure, he was excommunicated and all that, but faith was faith.

…

By 6:23 PM, he had traded no further words with the hobo, and most people on the bus had begun drifting to sleep, if they weren't sleeping already. It was a long trip, after all.

Soon, the elimination would begin.

And so is why he got surprised by a tap on his shoulder. He turned to look at the Hobo he'd have to kill a little later. The hobo was looking at him while holding a small pamphlet that was inside the bus, detailing information about their destination, Kyoto.

"Yes?" he asked, because maintaining basic civility was basic for infiltration.

"Uh, yeah, I was just wondering if you could read this for me? I… Well, this is embarrassing, but I actually can't read very well."

…That was really embarrassing.

He considered for a second to just ignore him and just acknowledge him when it came time to eviscerate him. But he discarded the thought. It'd be better if he showed himself as helpful so the Hobo didn't see it coming once his saber was deep in his throat.

"Why, sure! Let me take a look."

He had to lean towards the Hobo to read the pamphlet properly and the line that the Hobo was pointing at.

"Let's see, the best tourist spots in-"

He didn't get to see the two golden coins flying from his hand, one through his eye, the other through his throat, right into his larynx.

"I'm getting real sick of waiting for these assholes to sleep."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

The two of them had gotten called for the most stupid of missions: kill a homeless man. If there was any respect to be had for that stupid angel bitch, it was running real low.

"..."

"..."

"Raynare's still so fucking hot, right?"

"So hot."

They were seated right in front of the hobo, prepared to simply turn around and shank him to death. An execution was an execution, and they'd make sure that this whole fucking time of waiting would be worth something.

One of them looked to their right, where an old lady was already sleeping. The bus wasn't packed, at least, so the risk of getting caught wasn't as high as it could've been. Talking about that…

He looked behind him, where the head-honcho of the execution squad was at… and he was fucking sleeping. Great, very fucking reassuring to know their leader was taking a nap. He had his eyes closed, and his jacket up to his chin, face resting to the side and yup, he was just out-cold.

Inevitably, since he was looking back, he caught sight of the hobo, who was still awake, unlike their leader. What a fucking mess, this whole shitshow just to kill this guy.

"Catch," said the hobo all of a sudden, making the exorcist widen his eyes as he saw him flicking two coins at him, mach-speed.

And his eye and larynx caught it.

His partner, who was staring out of the window with a bored expression, didn't even get to realize what was happening, as a lightsaber got turned on behind him and the blade easily cut through the seat, right into his own larynx. In less than one second that the saber got turned on, it was off, and the exorcist was now left with a bleeding neck.

The both of them died silently. Their killer quickly covered their front with a smelly, ugly jacket that reeked of piss, shit and cum.

"So man, are you excited for Kyoto?"

"Yeah man! After we-"

A third person interrupted the exorcists' lovely conversation.

"Oi, can you two look here for a second?"

The both of them looked towards the voice to the left, exactly where their leader and their target were sitting.

Four coins flew directly at them. One on an eye, the other on the larynx. The pair received matching death wounds.

The killer didn't even bother covering their wounds for now.

"Fucking assholes, of course I get to sit in front of the snoring grandma."

The exorcist grumbled in discontent, his name was Gianni and-

Oh, he died, two coins ricocheted off of another coin right into his eye and larynx. What an impressive shot.

Gianni died without even getting to monologue. Boohoo.

I fell back onto my seat, having just been responsible for six entire corpses. I took a deep breath.

"Fuck me."

Those were all the exorcists on the back of the bus. The other six were spread through the middle and front. It was a bit messier to kill them since they were surrounded by more regular people. The operation I just did relied on the fact these fucking goobers were so close to me that there wasn't any innocent passersby to get caught in the crossfire.

If I wanted to kill the rest of them, I'd have to wait until the lights of the bus went out.

…So, I'd have to wait for at least an hour with these corpses around me.

Yay.

Idly, I generated yet another coin in my hand, a thin golden thing that just aided the murder of six psychopaths.

So far, these coins had more than proven their worth. They were silent, effective, and best of all, left no trace, since once they landed and stopped their path, they just disappeared. Perfect weapons. Of course, if I faced something like that Stray devil from my first day or that angel bitch then I'm sure they won't be enough, but against regular old humans?

Well, there were 6 people who can now attest to its effectiveness. 6 people with holes in their eyes and in their larynx.

…You know, I never thought that my failed attempts at being a doctor would've led me to this crap, but hey, knowledge was knowledge, and if I just happened to know that the frontal lobe was behind the eyes and that destroying the larynx would prevent someone from making a sound, then that was just peachy.

Speaking of killing, I felt it. Everytime I killed one of them, I felt their Souls, their life essence being harvested by me. Each one of these goobers netted me a cool 400 Souls, so I now had…

2527 Souls in total.

Whoo-wee, that was a good fucking haul. Now, to harvest their humanity…

I reached forward to the two dumbasses in front of me and pulled.

Soon enough, I had two humanity sprites. Repeating the process with my seatmate, I increased that number to three.

You know, these assholes so far have been the best thing that could've happened to me. Sure, now there were six corpses at the back of the bus that I couldn't dispose of… but who gave a shit.

There were still another three corpses, but I'd need to stand up to be within harvesting reach and standing up would inevitably draw attention.

…Fuck, I left a corpse two seats across from me, alone and unattended. The two morons at my right could pass without much problem (although I'd still rather cover their bleeding faces) but I wasn't so sure about the other one…

After some thinking, I remembered that this was a really long trip. I used E.E to specifically check for something, and quickly I found it: blankets.

I grabbed my seatmate's (because I still wanted to use mine dammit) and crumpled it into a ball. Checking with E.E, I saw that all the remaining exorcists were facing forward, unaware of what was going on back here. Then, aiding myself with Sharpest Shooter, I set the desired target and…

I shot the blanket.

The blanket-ball traveled in a perfect arc and, as it began falling, it unfolded, finally landing gracefully and perfectly over the dead man.

Man, I loved my fucking [Skills].

I discreetly stood up from my seat and leaned forward, reaching for the blankets of the guys in front of me. It took some maneuvering while trying to make no noise, but eventually I got both of them. Again, I did the same technique and shot the blankets at the guys by my right.

The blankets perfectly landed covering their face and bodies. No blood in sight.

There, traces covered. Now that all these guys were properly dealt with, I began the sacred tradition of looting, rummaging in my seatmate's pockets. With E.E, I quickly took out what I was looking for: a gun, some ammo filled with special bullets, a lightsaber, a curved knife and a phone. An ancient fucking phone, too, it being a flip phone that perfectly belonged in the early 2010s.

Quickly storing the weapons in my backpack, I opened the flip phone. As expected, it was a burner, with the only contacts being 11 numbers saved with 'aaaaa' type names and the other marked 'R'. Looking through the messages (which took a while because God were these phones old and clunky) I eventually found a pre-written draft.

'Begin.'

How lovely.

If I had to guess, the 'R' contact was whoever put the hit on me. I'd make sure to call them ugly names once I had all 12 of these assholes killed.

So, in the meantime, I leaned against the window and looked at the lovely Japanese landscape, the road covered in green and lovely visages.

Ah… what a lovely trip.

…I hoped the corpses didn't start smelling.

It had been quite a while since the bus took off for Kyoto. Cadrio looked at the front clock, where 8:00 PM glared mockingly at him.

He didn't know if the fuckers at the back were playing him a prank or something, but he was getting really fucking sick of it. The lights of the bus had been turned off twenty minutes ago and most of the other passengers were peacefully sleeping. Even if they weren't he'd just kill them to cover up their tracks.

He knew they shouldn't have put that fucker on Leader role. He was too soft, too fucking merciful, they probably still hadn't executed the stupid hobo because some old lady refused to fucking sleep.

As soon as his patience began to reach its breaking point… the damned hobo just walked past him.

…Huh?

He stared baffled at their supposed target simply walking down the bus. Was the fucking Leader so incompetent he let their victim just walk out!? He was the one beside him! He needed to stop him from just walking!

Before Cadrio could do any more complaining inside his head, he idly noticed that the hobo just… stopped in their tracks. He was just standing in the middle of the hallway.

…Wait, why did he stop there? He stopped right in front of everyone that belonged to Team 2… why was he doing the 'Christ the Redeemer' pose?

The realization that something was horribly wrong came too late, for four coins and two of their exorcist knives shot out of the hobo's hands, all of them landing on each executioner's eye and larynx. And in one short second, another three exorcists were added to the pile of dead people inside the bus.

Even if the other three managed to kill the damned ever-elusive Hobo, the losses already taken would make the mission an embarrassment at best.

Before the Hobo proceeded, he carefully and silently, to avoid waking up any innocent bystander, took out the blankets from under the seats and covered their bodies head to toe, carefully removing the knives from the only exorcist who had to endure them, ensuring that they all simply looked like tapped-out travelers

…Was there a need to say what happened to the remaining three?

Raynare was getting angrier with every minute that the team of exorcists didn't return with any news.

It didn't help that her fellow Fallen were staring at her declining mental health in real time.

"I don't understand why you're so hung-up on this human," said Kalawarner, already bored of having to do absolutely nothing of value for two hours and a half.

Raynare, predictably, turned her ever-present glare towards her.

"Because he's a human who's bumbling around with shit he shouldn't."

The general response to her answer was a collective roll of eyes. They all more or less knew this was just a matter of pride. Petty pride, at that.

Mittelt yawned and began heading for the exit.

"BORING. What's the point of waiting? Those are 12 entire exorcists against one homeless human. You're pretty pathetic for even waiting for a report."

Internally, Raynare agreed. It was quite pathetic to be waiting like she was when the result would be so obvious, hanging onto every passing minute awaiting the news like she was some young girl waiting for a text.

…She essentially was that very same thing, she realized. Instead of processing the humiliation in a healthy manner, Raynare turned her angered eyes to the small Fallen.

"Oh, I'm sorry for boring you, it's just that I want my plan to go swimmingly with no outside factors barging in. I know being a useless slob who leaves things to wild luck is part of your nature, but it's not mine, so perhaps you should stay quiet while I await the reports of the team I sent."

Mittelt just shrugged uncaringly, drawing more of Raynare's ire. Truth be told, ever since earlier in the day she came back without killing the damned hobo, she felt the respect of her team… lessen.

No, no, she must've been imagining things. Of course they still respected her, the cold and calculating Fallen that gathered all these exorcists and Fallen for the sake of her great plan, serving only herself. Perfectly selfish and yet commanding. Just because she showed a more irate side of herself today didn't mean that they respected her any less.

She was completely fine. She was in control.

…Those fucking exorcists better call her back with a picture of that hobo's dead body or she was going to start killing shit.

She glared down at her phone. Just the fact that she needed the human invention to coordinate with the stray exorcists left a bad taste in her mouth, but the practicality of the small device was undeniable.

Just as Mittelt began leaving the room and most of the Fallen gathered thought of doing the same, the accursed cellular device finally rang, a shitty MIDI version of Mozart's Symphony No° 40 breaking the tense silence.

Raynare's face lit up in sadistic glee. That fucker was finally dead!

She took her time answering, silently reveling on having the stupid human who not only content with touching her, dared to humiliate her and call her horrible names in front of a multitude of worthless humans. A HOMELESS HUMAN, calling HER, a PERFECT FALLEN ANGEL, a FUCKING FLOOZY.

The Nokia's shitty rendition of Mozart kept ringing out while Raynare stewed in her own victory. After a few more moments of actual peace within her, she answered the phone.

"So?" was her only query, because why would she need to trade any more words with those bumbling exorcists. Yes, she was still at the end of the day a ruthless leader, and thus she awaited the answer of her team of executioners.

Silence was her answer.

…

Raynare frowned, unamused.

"So!?"

"So what?"

Christ Almighty, these exorcists were actually mentally impaired. Raynare snarled.

"The homeless human! Is he dead!?"

Silence again. Before Raynare could begin cursing the exorcist's bloodlines, a laugh could be heard from the other side of the line. A really mocking, really irritating laugh.

"OOOH MAN! No fucking way! You're that feathery angel bitch from the park, right!? AHAHAHA!"

Raynare's face fell, actual genuine shock twisting her features. She dared a glance back to the rest of her team, who were also staring in mute shock at her. They could clearly hear every single cackle and mockery from the call.

As the laughter continued, Raynare reined her shock back, replacing it with the oh-so-easy to use anger.

"You worthless fuck! What did you do!?"

"Huh? You're asking me!? HAHAHA! Little angel bitch sent a twelve team of bumbling shitheads to kill poor little old me and now she wants answers? HAHAHAHA!"

This scenario was so stupid that Raynare couldn't even form a response, simply staring in enraged shock at a wall.

Raynare, definitely, for the first time in centuries felt actual rage bubbling in her veins.

"Ah, don't worry, though. I feel pity—yes, actual honest-to-god PITY—for the likes of you, so I'll tell you! The 12 fucks you sent to me are now currently super, super, super dead. In fact, I'll send you a picture later!"

The leader of the Fallen in Kuoh clenched her fist painfully, hard enough that her long nails pierced her skin, small trickles of blood falling from it.

Pity? Pity!? PITY!? PITY FROM A FILTHY HOMELESS FUCK!? HOW FUCKING DARE HE!?

"Oh man," continued the homeless man, out of breath from laughter, ignorant and uncaring of the ripples in time he was creating. "This shit's so fucking funny. All the might of an actual angel from Heaven, yet outsmarted by a hobo. I'd kill myself if I were you."

He continued, not letting her get a single word in.

"I mean, I had to kill a Stray and also ONE single exorcist the other day, and yet somehow YOUR call, YOUR hit with 12 entire exorcists was the easiest of them all! That's so fucking funny!"

The Nokia began trembling and shaking, the hand holding it crushing it slowly.

"I will make you PAY for those FUCKING WORDS!"

Raynare meant it. She'd make the human pay for daring to pretend he was equal to the likes of her.

The SHITSTAIN on the other side of the line hummed.

"I don't know, considering your track record, I'm kind of… not intimidated at all? If a fucking poodle told you it'd get revenge for its people you wouldn't take it seriously, would you?"

Raynare froze.

"Yeah, that's what you are to me," he continued, unaware he was saying words that would haunt him for a very, very long time. His only focus was to cause as much damage to her as possible. "A poodle. A small, loud, obnoxious but ultimately harmless poodle."

Those words were the breaking point for Raynare. With a yell full of fury and hate, she threw the Nokia to the ground (which still remained operational, God bless Finnish engineering) and proceeded to punch the wall, breaking it apart entirely (to the shock of a group of wandering exorcists nearby).

Raynare turned to the rest of the Fallen, who were now staring at her in actual concern.

"I'm going to kill him," stated Raynare simply.

Kalawarner frowned. "Raynare, he was going to Kyoto, and you still need to-"

"I don't care," she said, eerily calm. "I'm going to kill him. One of you fuckers can go kill the stupid boy with the Sacred Gear."

Dohnaseek glared at her.

"This entire plan—YOUR plan—hinges on you getting the nun's Sacred Gear. You need to stay here."

"It's still two weeks until the whore nun arrives. I have more than enough time to take care of the homeless FUCK."

Mittelt giggled at her furious words.

"My, my, getting so riled up by a human? How mighty pathetic of you!"

Raynare fixed a glare on Mittelt hard enough that she actually stopped talking. This wasn't the same fury from earlier, no, this was an entirely different level.

"I don't care anymore. I'm just going to kill him and make him suffer."

"HEY! HEY! Not gonna tell me you just hung up on me, yeah? Couldn't handle the hard truths?"

Raynare glared down at the offending cellphone, the call still connected. Mechanically, she leaned down and grabbed it again, putting it by her ear.

"I'm going to kill you," she said again, coldly.

"Uh-huh, sure thing. I'm sure you thought the same when sending those 12 assholes, yeah?"

Her grip once again tightened on the phone.

"I'll cut your balls off and make you swallow them whole."

"Ooooohhhh, I'm shaking! Shaking! The mighty angel humiliated into performing kinky fetishes for a hobo. How fucking superior."

"YOU FUCKING WASTE OF-!"

"Anyway, I'll send you the pics I promised, yeah? Bye-bye, sweet-cheeks."

Before Raynare could spit all the fury she wanted, the call ended.

She stood very, very still, but her eyes betrayed absolute anger, ready to be unleashed at a single moment. Kalawarner approached her.

"Raynare… you really, really shouldn't waste your time on that human. He poses no threat now that he's left Kuoh."

"HE DISRESPECTED ME, and I'm not letting a FILTHY FUCKING HUMAN get away with this!"

"He's in Kyoto! We cannot just barge in there and do as we want there! The Yokai-!"

"TO HELL WITH THE YOKAI, I'll have that filthy fucking asshole's head and they're not stopping me!"

A small ping rang from the phone again. Raynare turned her fury to the offending device. The notification read '(1) New Message.'

She debated for half-a-second if she should open it, before deciding that not opening it would be cowardice AKA: losing against the hobo.

With that mindset, she opened the messaging app and saw the picture.

…

Raynare's eyes, already filled with the fury of a thousand-year-old being, somehow managed to contain more anger, a snarl more fitting for a rabid dog than an angel took over her face as she finally crushed the Nokia with her hands.

"That was a picture of his penis."

With that last statement, Raynare flew up, destroying the church's roof and making a headline for the road, intent on following the trail of the man who had humiliated and mocked her far more than any other being had in recent memory.

Raynare was going to kill that hobo.

We've entered: Kyoto.

Please make sure to have all your belongings on hand.

As the bus driver announced our arrival at the city, I marveled while looking out of the window, enjoying the night city lights and the change of scenery compared to the much smaller Kuoh. This was a proper city, the kind that I had grown up in and, inevitably, learned how to do all the nasty crime I partook in.

I glanced to my right, where a corpse was peacefully resting with his eyes closed and his coat covering his throat. So far, no one had noticed the 12 bodies on board, even when the bus assistant did a round to check if anyone wanted the free cookies that came with the ticket (which I gratefully accepted), they all went unnoticed. They just assumed they were sleeping, and didn't give them a second glance.

That would change once we arrived at the station, since then they'd inevitably find my massacre and I really didn't want to be in the vicinity when that happened.

Thus I grabbed my backpack, which now had three exorcist guns, three new magazines filled with those special exorcist bullets and three lightsabers, plus the blanket they told me to leave in the bus (suckers), and got up from my seat. It was a shame I didn't get to loot more than three corpses, since they were too far from my seat and it'd make some noise to mess with the bodies.

Shamefully, they didn't have wallets, so no money to steal there, which was a real fucking shame since this entire encounter cost me $20 USD just by generating coins. This left me with $48 bucks left, which was a dangerously low amount of cash to work with.

But I did manage to harvest their humanity.

A sick grin filled my face. Fucking 12 humanity was now inside of my backpack too, turned into those portable sprites. And if we added to the haul the Souls they all gave me….

4927 Souls.

This had been a massive fucking day for me. I was eager to go to sleep and see how much XP I gathered. This would be a huge jump in power, I was fucking sure.

And the one I needed to thank for that was that stupid angel bitch, sending the easiest possible threats against me. Truly, she earned that dick pic I gave her. Hopefully it'd make her cold, sad, lonely nights a whole lot more bearable now.

Was riling up the angel REALLY a good idea?

What a boring way to view life. If you had a bitch who looked down upon you get absolutely demolished in every single way, what kind of man, what kind of human were you if you didn't make sure they fucking KNEW who was the top dog?

It was a matter of dignity, sending that dick pic. She needed to learn her fucking place, and that was below the filthy homeless man.

As I walked to the front of the bus, I glanced at the clock: 1:02 AM. Really fucking late. I'd just go and make myself a bonfire in the most desolate place I could find. I had humanity to spare after all.

And so, telling the driver to stop in the middle of the city, I got down from the bus and took a deep, deep breath. The bus soon departed with 12 bodies inside it, which would probably become an unsolved case in some documentary.

I stretched my arms and looked up to the sky.

Daniel García was in fucking Kyoto, you assholes.

Now, it really was late and I really was hungry, but I didn't have a single clue on where you could even eat here. Honestly, I just wanted to set up the fucking bonfire.

And so, changing very little from my routine in Kuoh, I looked for the dirtiest alleyway possible and put myself to work on building that bonfire.

An hour later (which was mostly spent looking for a fucking iron bar) the bonfire was lit inside of an alleyway located near a local Inn. It was mostly quiet and if I really got desperate, I could look inside the Inn's trash for food. It was as good as I'd get on such short notice.

BONFIRE LIT.

The small littered place got filled with warm, purifying light. What could normally be considered a spot primed for getting shanked and who knew what else, was now an absolute safe-zone.

Smiling, I relished the light of my creation, fueled by the Humanity of a dead man I killed myself.

Once that was done with, I extended my hand to it and promptly spent all of my souls on Strength, not even bothering to glance at the stat sheet.

Strength: 9 ⇒ 15

Cost: 4395

—

Level: 7

Souls: 532

There, now hopefully that made my punches hit harder than before. Also, now that I was dealing with Undead business, I took out a sprite of humanity out of my backpack and simply crushed it.

The humanity rushed from the sprite directly to me. I could feel how it made me feel instantly more refreshed, and most importantly, I felt more whole.

It was a stark difference existing with and without a single piece of humanity inside. Now I had 10 Humanities left in my backpack, but I'd save them for later. I never knew when I'd need to restore myself after getting killed.

That part of the upgrading done, I simply left the backpack aside, sat on the ground by the lovely warm bonfire, and closed my eyes. leaning my head against the brick wall.

Sleep quickly overtook me. It was late as shit, after all.

My eyes opened, finding myself inside the void. An old computer-set awaited me.

There wasn't much to comment, I was getting used to this level-up business. I wasted no more time and sat down on the desk chair in front of the computer.

GREETINGS INCURSOR.
TODAY'S INCURSION HAS ENDED.

INCURSION SUMMARY:
MONEY= $196 USD ⇒ $48 USD
BULLETS = 26x 0.45 Bullets + 10x Light Bullets ⇒ 26x 0.45 Bullets + 40x Light Bullets

EXP COUNT:
6000 [XP] required for LVL.4

Ricochet Shots! [2 Times Hit]: 200xp
Cleaning Up! [Dirty Status Removed]: 100xp
Traveling Incursor [Kyoto]: 200xp
Canon-Relevant Travel [Kyoto]: 500xp
Killed Stray Exorcists [12 - Hobo Execution Squad]: 1200xp
Stealth Kills [12 Kills]: 1200xp
Perfect Ghost [No Alerts / High Risk Area]: 500xp
Compensation [INCURSOR-FUCKER]: 500xp

3500 [XP] ⇒ 7900 [XP]

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE REACHED LEVEL 4!

+1 SKILL POINT

CHOOSE A NEW SKILL!

On the last level-up, [Coin Flipper] was chosen.

[The Perfectionist]:

TIER 2 SKILLS [Coin Flipper]:

- [Cash-Back]: Killing a target by using [Coin Flipper] will refund 1/4th of funds used for the kill. (ex: Using two 50 USD coins to kill a target will refund 25 USD).

- [Coin Stacker]: For every Coin Ricochet a shot goes through using [Coin Flipper], it will generate 5 [Perfect Stacks]. Increases the number of coins you can generate at a time to 6

- [Money Kills]: Allows [Coin Flipper] to create [Coin Bullets]. These bullets can be of any handgun caliber and their DMG depends on their cost when creating them. (Minimum: 1 USD)

[Pyromancer]:

- [Basic Pyrokinesis]: Grants the ability [Pyrokinesis], making you able to generate a flame in your hand that can be expanded and controlled. It is limited to your hand and upon throwing the flame or dropping it, it will die.

{Gunman / Pyromancer} skill available for unlocking!

- [Actual Finger Gun]: Grants you the ability [Finger Gun], letting you use your hand to shoot fire bullets. The strength of the bullets will depend on the progress of the [Pyromancer] skill tree.

And so ended the page.

I frowned when reading the summary. Why the fuck were TWELVE entire exorcists worth the same as the one from yesterday? That didn't seem to make a single lick of sense, in fact, it made ZERO fucking sense.

100xp per exorcist!? That was NOTHING! One of those assholes gave me the same XP as me just showering!

What fucking bullshit.

Also, I noticed the small Compensation part in the XP summary. What in the nine hells was the INCURSOR-FUCKER?

Well, it gave me 500xp, so… eh, I'd live.

Now came the time for the skills. I instantly dismissed the notion of spending the skill point on a [Pyromancer] one and instead examined my remaining choices.

Honestly, I came here expecting to take [Ricochet Junkie] from yesterday, but it seemed as if that wasn't an available option anymore. Instead all of my options revolved around [Coin Flipper] which was something I should've probably been told about last level-up.

I frowned as I read the skills' description once more. As usual, they were all pretty useful in some ways, [Cash-Back] ensuring that I could risk higher value coins and make sure I wasn't absolutely broke by the end of it, [Coin Stacker] exponentially increasing my DMG and [Money Kills] directly solved my bullet problems, guaranteeing that I could always have ammo at the ready.

That last one in particular was incredibly tempting, but I also caught myself in a particular dilemma: Should I pick something I wanted or instead invest in something I could've wanted.

What did I mean? For example, last time I chose [Coin Flipper] and now all the available skills to choose were directly related to that one. What would happen if I were to choose [Cash-Back]?

Maybe next time I leveled up I could get skills that directly refunded all the money spent on coins or just directly increased my funds in some other way. It was something to consider.

…But I decided not to. Not only because it seemed a bit BORING and like I was gambling shit away (which I liked doing but now wasn't the time) but also because as I read the skills, I thought of all the previous encounters I've had since I arrived at this 'DxD' shithole.

I severely lacked DMG.

Sure, I did kill the Stray and the apparent Lord of Exorcists (considering his absurdly high XP payout compared to the regular ones), but the Stray managed to resist a lot of bullets before I hit a critical spot and the Exorcist, although he took a very nasty hit when I used a 12 Stack shot on him, died only when I shot him directly in the head, and that last one was mostly luck.

I needed to be able to kill fuckers without having to actively target the brain or another highly-specific vital organ. If I came across someone like that angel again, I needed to make sure that my bullets could pierce through and kill her nice and good.

Of course, I had the whole [Coin Flipper] business going on, which did increase my DMG, but just a 2x Multiplier required 10 USD, and although it didn't seem that much, taking into account my current funds I could do an enhanced shot like that one a total of 8 times.

That wasn't good enough.

[Money Kills] was another candidate, but it didn't really increase my DMG in any significant way unless I spent more money, and I didn't have a steady source of income yet. It seemed like a stupidly good and more importantly, powerful ability later down the road, but right now it wasn't ideal.

Which left the last candidate: [Coin Stacker]. The part I cared the most about was the frankly ridiculous DMG boost it gave me for performing those coin ricochets, which completely ignored the previous requirement of having at least 10 USD for any real multiplier and just made it so I could bounce the bullet 6 times to have a… fucking hell, what were [Perfect Stacks] modifiers again?

I quickly used the INFO command and a paper with all pertinent details fell from the air. E.E read its contents instantly.

10% DMG per [Perfect Stack]. If every ricochet with [Coin Stacker] gave me 5 Stacks, and the maximum amount of coins at a time increased to 6, then that gave me… 300% DMG boost.

For 6 dollars, a 300% DMG boost. That seemed more than good in my opinion, not to mention that once the shot landed, it wouldn't be as if the [Perfect Stacks] just disappeared, they'd stay for the rest of the fight, and if I went and spent another 6 dollars for a second shot…

My eyes widened as I realized the absolute potential of this. This was a fucking stupid skill, whoever the fuck designed this Incursor bullshit was a moron, how could they let such an easily abusable skill get through. As long as I kept those coins ricochets going I'd be able to kill anything on my path, be it human, devil or angel.

Confident in my choice, I selected [Coin Stacker] with the mouse, and confirmed my choice.

As I felt the change within me take place, I generated six coins on the palm of my hand. 1 USD each. With practiced ease thanks to Sharpest Shooter, I throw five coins high in the air and soon after shoot the sixth coin inside the web of cash.

PI-PI-PI-PI-PING!

The coin got spat out of the web with absurd speed, smashing into the void's floor… wait, floor?

I leaned closer to the spot where the coin impacted, the five other ones disappearing once they touched ground. Yup, that was a broken floor, simply painted absolute black for… effect maybe? It reminded me of when I first awakened in Heaven and got my sentence.

…Wait, was I in Heaven? Whenever I got leveled-up I got woken up in Heaven?

Before I could do any further research, the computer made a loud noise, as if to remind me that I need to wrap this shit up. I really wanted to investigate, but I didn't want to mistakenly have something wrong on my character sheet, so I just returned my attention to the screen.

Name: Daniel García, [the Perfectionist.]
Level : Level 4 [Perfectionist] Undead Gunman.
XP: 7900
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Skill List:

[Perfect Shots]
[Perfect Stacks]
[Stylish Twirl]
[Coin Flipper]
 [Coin Stacker] (NEW!)

Perk List:

Eyes Everywhere
Sharpest Shooter

Trait List:

Darksign

Conditions:

Undead (Darksign)

To my surprise, the photo on the sheet got updated again, this time showing a much put-together Daniel García, although I was still too pale for comfort. I eyed the sheet to make sure there wasn't anything wrong with it, then finally pressed the button labeled 'CLOSE'.

CHARACTER CHANGES HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED.

DAY-END SUMMARY DREAM CLOSING…

…

…

…

DREAM CLOSED.

SWEET DREAMS, INCURSOR!

And everything went absolutely black.

AN: I must say, that having the inspiration to actually update a story within the same week is absolutely unprecedented for me, at least within the last four years. I still remember when I had a new update every single day... then again, the quality was of (to say it lightly) questionable quality. Still, I'm glad I got to at least update twice within this week.

It just feels good.

If you have any sort of feedback, make sure to let me know with a review. I know this sounds like begging (and it is) but the more engagement I get, the more inspired I feel for writing new chapters in a timely manner. I need to be guilt-tripped into writing.

Again, if you want to see the proper formatting this story has, then check it out back at SpaceBattles. It's also mighty much easier to holler shit at me if you so wish.

All this said and done, I think that I'm gonna take a bit fucking break. Just a bit, I wouldn't expect to see me disappear like usual again.

...Although, you know, I always say a lot of things, so don't hold me up to them.

Tee-hee.

Thanks for reading.