Haaaahhh.
As the foul smoke went past my lips, giving all the minors inside the conference room a good dose of second-hand smoking, I silently enjoyed the looks of surprise on everyone who knew me before. Of course, that was reduced to just Rias' side of the table, and even then the white-haired cat-girl (which, with my newfound knowledge, I now knew was a Yokai) looked absolutely unimpressed. The only other one who didn't have a reaction to my appearance was the brown-haired boy, who just looked confused at all the unnecessary drama I just created.
Accompanying his confusion was everyone from the Sitri side of things, who absolutely knew nothing about me and just had me pinned as a weirdo who wore masks and offered cigarettes to high-schoolers. Kaede, for her part, was just looking at me unimpressed, simply waiting for me to get my little show over.
STILL, it was nice to pull something over someone's heads, petty as it was.
"Daniel?" asked Rias after a moment, voice filled with emotions that were too complex for me to know about.
The cigarette hanging loosely in my lips, I opened my hands in a 'ta-dah' motion without much energy, leaning back on the seat and leaving my backpack by my feet.
"The one and only, although I go by Husk while at work."
After my response, Rias' shock started to fade away, and her surprised stare began narrowing into a glare.
"Why… Why are you here?"
I shrugged and began delivering one of the few statements that I was required to deliver in this meeting, the rest of the talking being mostly relegated to Kaede.
"Funny thing happened," I began, tone casual. "The moment I got out of this shithole city filled with murderers, I got a job offer! And you're not gonna believe who gave it to me."
There were a lot of thinly-veiled insults there, all meant to diminish her specifically. First the fact she failed to recruit me, then the fact I called her city a shithole, then the fact that the second she failed to recruit me, her target got instantly taken in by the leader of a faction.
I didn't know if Rias got all of that, but as she narrowed her eyes further, I decided that the statement did its job good enough.
"But why are you", she began asking, pointedly ignoring my insults against her city for the sake of civility. "Here in place of the Yokai who are supposed to debrief us? You couldn't have been recruited for more than two days."
And as she asked me that… I didn't answer, instead taking another drag from my cigarette, looking her right in the eye. As the silence went on and it became clear that I was going to ignore her question, she let out a sound of frustration and stood up, hands slammed on the table.
"Danie-"
"Ms. Gremory," interjected Kaede, voice smooth as always. "Although it might have escaped your notice, this meeting isn't about my partner Husk's status within the Yokai Faction. However, since his presence clearly affects you, I will inform you regardless, lest you derail this meeting even further with your questioning."
Rias, taken aback by Kaede's sudden interruption (calling her impulsive, meandering, irrational) turned her glare towards her.
"You-"
"Husk", she began, uncaring of the heiresses' words and keeping her face absolutely expressionless. "Was hired last Sunday after Lady Yasaka discovered his talents, and after a thorough review and testing of his abilities, he was considered fit enough to be classified as a high-level agent within the faction, receiving his orders directly from Lady Yasaka herself."
Unlike my unmasking, which had most of the room absolutely uncaring, this made them actually shocked, spotting with E.E several eyes widening and giving me questioning looks, as if they were re-evaluating the weirdo with the mask. In response, I very rudely exhaled smoke, aiding these minors in their second-hand smoking.
Rias, on her end, was thoroughly shocked by this information.
"He… what?"
As prompted by what little I had to say in the script, I looked at Kaede and shrugged. "You can tell her, otherwise I fear she'll be wondering about this all day."
Kaede, God bless her soul, did a fake sigh of exasperation as if indulging a selfish request (which was absolutely adorable), and looked at Rias.
"The reason for Husk's", she started, pointedly not using my name, "ranking is because, aside from his supernaturally perfect accuracy, he has a Sacred Gear."
And if I could take a picture of Rias' face at that exact moment, boy how would I frame it right alongside the other one from Raynare.
"What?"
The surprise from Rias was understandable. From what I could tell from our two conversations, she could sense when a human had a Sacred Gear, and I clearly had jack-shit.
…However.
To demonstrate Kaede's statement, I raised my hand lazily and, with just a thought, activated [Coin Flipper] and formed a golden $1 coin between my fingers. Just for the sake of theatrics, I activated [Stylish Twirl] on it to roll the coin on my hand.
"Never Too Much, is its name," I said, lying completely and pronouncing the name deliberately in English instead of the auto-translated Spanish to Japanese I was used to. "And I'm sure you're wondering how it got manifested… but don't worry, that topic will come up eventually."
"...Never Too Much," muttered Rias, staring at the golden coin I created with sheer focus, her eyes following as I flipped the coin into the table, watching how it disappeared into nothing.
Frankly, I thought the name for my fake Sacred Gear was a bit dumb, but Yasaka insisted that it needed to follow the traditional Sacred Gear naming conventions, and that included having such unintuitive names attached to them.
Also yes, before I came here, I was forced to tell Yasaka how exactly I managed to kill the Strays so effectively, and considering how big my paycheck was, I told her the following:
"I can create coins with just a thought. I am such a good shot that I can use these coins to make bullets ricochet and, with every ricochet I perform, the bullet grows more powerful."
Unmentioned was the need for my funds to create them or the fact that I could create coins of different values. Yasaka seemed happy enough with my unexplainable abilities as long as I worked for her, and thus she decided to give Husk a fake Sacred Gear to explain how he became so high-ranking.
High-ranking enough to go inside the Devils' own territory and piss on their doorstep.
"Indeed," confirmed Kaede. "And that is all that there is to say on the matter of Husk and his employment. If we could please get to the matter at hand?"
Rias kept a sour face but didn't make any further comments. The Sitri chick, taking this momentary lull in the conversation, decided to butt in a single comment, pushing back against us.
"I would've expected the Youkai faction to not have to rely on humans to deliver such an… important debriefing. Is the talent pool in Kyoto that small?"
Kaede didn't even hesitate for a second.
"Unlike Devils, we do not need to enslave and turn humans to make them count as 'part of our faction' and cooperate."
She very, very slightly tilted her head to the side, as if being innocently curious.
"It is impressive how willing humans are to cooperate without promising slavery."
Sitri glared. "We do cooperate with human magicians. You sound quite ignorant."
"Perhaps," Kaede said. "But they're still humans aren't they? Not part of your faction. Not fully trustworthy unless put on a leash."
Sitri's glare didn't subside in the slightest, but right before she could open her mouth to most probably deliver another snide comment, Kaede sighed exasperated.
"Are there any more snide comments you wish to deliver? If so, I ask that they are either given after we discuss what we came here for, or you simply don't."
Sitri glared, but still didn't shut up, giving me a poignant glare.
"Could you please stop smoking inside school grounds? Everyone aside from you two are minors."
Instead of answering, I just took another slow, slow drag of my cigarette. Kaede spoke up for me.
"Although conforming to the rules of your establishment would be the standard if we were invited…"
I exhaled the smoke, loudly.
"...we were not. This meeting is being demanded and thus you have no choice but to attend. Now, why you chose to make your main base of operations in the human world a human school is another matter entirely."
Kaede, expression still professional and neutral, raised an eyebrow.
"Anything else?"
It was kind of funny how annoyed Sitri was. Knowing that any further comments would just make her look even more unprofessional, she just settled for a succinct:
"No."
"Good," said Kaede. "I will now begin introductions."
Although introductions were probably unwelcome and unnecessary at this point, she still proceeded with the formality, making sure to tick every box that was expected of this meeting.
"My name is Fujiwara Kaede, a 1st-Rank Yokai agent," she introduced herself. She then motioned with an open hand to me. "To my left is Husk, Special-Rank Yokai Agent."
At my introduction, I very loudly exhaled smoke again as a lot more people looked at me surprised at my cool sounding rank. I was surprised, too, when I learnt that me and Kaede had those ranks and that I had one that seemed higher than hers, but after some explaining from Yasaka and Kaede herself, the surprise faded.
No, Special-Rank didn't mean it was higher than 1st-Rank, since Kaede technically still outranked me. Special-Rank just meant that I was an outlier to every other Yokai Agent, considering my particular circumstances. For paperwork purposes, I had my own cool rank that enabled everything to align with the books.
However, it wasn't as if the Devils knew this, and thus my surprise appearance, plus my very cool rank, made it sound like I was an ultra big shot who in just two days had the authority to come berate them.
An ultra big deal that Rias missed out on.
Predictably, Rias, although she was starting to hold herself better than when this started, still looked pressed, E.E spotting her fists clenched under the table.
"First, is everyone from both peerages present?"
The Sitri girl nodded, but Rias didn't. "I have a piece that isn't present. He is currently unable to attend meetings such as these."
Kaede nodded and went to open her notepad to a blank page. Taking out a fountain pen from her pockets, she began to write something down.
"That's alright, Ms. Gremory," she began as she wrote, perfectly professional. "It was our mistake, since we expected both heiresses to have their pieces capable of simply attending these meetings. We apologize."
Of course, those words were laden with subtext, and although I couldn't understand what Kaede was writing down, it was probably something along the lines of 'HAR HAR INCOMPETENTS HAR'. Rias probably caught as much, since her sour glare became somehow worse.
"Last Sunday," she began after writing, leaving her pen by the side of the notepad. "A man named Kentaro Shinji was publicly murdered right outside the 'Fushimi Inari Shrine'."
Producing from the inside pocket of her jacket, Kaede showed our audience a picture of my corpse.
Of course, considering that Yasaka wants to keep my immortality in secret, the picture has been heavily edited, making my horribly torn apart corpse look like that of a Japanese man.
At the grisly picture there were lots of widened eyes from surprise, most coming from Sitri's group, with Sitri herself remaining nonplussed and almost everyone from Rias' side just looking at the picture grimly. The only exception from Rias' peerage was the brown-haired boy, who visibly looked a bit sick at the corpse.
"The murderer was a Fallen Angel, and the incident occurred in the middle of a crowd."
Promptly, she displayed another photo, this one of Raynare looking at the camera kind of soullessly, the picture obviously taken after she was in captivity.
"Normally," started Kaede. "We would simply have to deal with her and that'd be that. The consequences of her act were barely contained and had the potential of spiraling out of control, but it would still be a matter between the Fallen and the Yokai."
I chuckled dramatically. "However…"
"However," continued Kaede, giving me a tiny subtle glare at my interjection. "After thorough questioning performed by Lady Yasaka herself, it was determined that this Fallen came from Kuoh Town."
That got the attention of everyone, and although the ambience in the room was of tense hostility, it now turned to full-focus.
"Not only that," continued Kaede. "She confessed to having resided inside Kuoh for two months."
This piece of information gave pause to the heiresses. Seeing an opportunity, I glanced at Kaede for a second. Meeting my gaze, she nodded, and with her approval I decided to put on display my most unbelieving grin.
"Wait, don't tell me… you guys didn't know? You had Fallen living it up in Kuoh for TWO MONTHS and you didn't know?"
At my taunting, Rias glared fiercely but still spoke, almost reluctantly.
"We knew that there were Fallen here, but so far they hadn't committed a single attack nor took any type of hostile action towards us or the citizens. Considering the tense political situation between Devils and Fallen, we considered that leaving them alone was the healthiest course of action."
"A wrong course of action," mercilessly followed-up Kaede. "Because after questioning, we discovered that inside of your own territory there was a brewing scheme that involved the murder of several people, all of them innocent citizens."
At that, Rias bit her lip and looked elsewhere but us. Sitri spoke instead. "Could you please elaborate?"
"Gladly," Kaede said. "I take it you know that there had been attacks made by Stray Exorcists inside your territory, correct?"
Oh, how it pained them to have that fact shoved in their faces.
"...Yes," said Sitri after a moment of silence. "There had been attacks made on citizens that had an interest in making deals with Devils. It was just recently that these incidents were pinned to Stray Exorcists."
Kaede took her pen again, the action feeling like she was wielding a gun, and gave Sitri a very merciless raised eyebrow. "Oh, so you knew that they were Stray Exorcists just recently. How so?"
The fact Kaede was making these leaders explain how they were letting crazy Exorcist murderers run around un-checked was quite satisfying. Sitri looked at Rias instead of answering. She sighed, and began explaining, giving me a look.
"So far these killings had been pinned as an act made by normal humans, but recently a… collaborator… your partner… managed to kill a Stray Exorcist before he could flee the crime scene. Now that we know for certain that Stray Exorcists were involved, we are hunting them down to take care of this issue."
I whistled at her explanation, nodding thoughtfully at her every word, making Rias glare. Kaede, for her part, gained a glint of sadism in her eye.
Having the perfect opportunity in front of her, Kaede mockingly hummed, as if considering the information. Then she began her relentless onslaught.
"Let me see if I understood correctly," she began, looking at both of the leaders and even their peerages like they were children. "You had these killings happen for more than a month, they all showed a very similar pattern between each other, and just now it occurred to you to investigate? Not only that, but you didn't even know they were being caused by Stray Exorcists until my partner, a normal human, just happened to find and kill one at the scene of the crime."
As she spoke, she wrote more things in her notebook, probably also among the lines of 'INCOMPETENCE HAR HAR'. After writing it down, she looked at them and put a nail in the coffin.
"By how you're telling me this, it makes it sound as if Husk didn't find that Exorcist, you would've just… let the Exorcists live unbothered. You wouldn't even have started an investigation had Husk not stumbled upon a crime scene as it happened."
Rias glared at her very true words, Sitri just looking aside ashamed.
"Fujiwara-san, you do not have the authority to start-"
"Ms. Gremory, I'll remind you that we are here because an incident you failed to handle inside of your own territory bled into Kyoto. Kyoto, Ms. Gremory. I'm sure you realize the distance, both physical and political, between Kuoh and Kyoto. We quite literally have nothing to do with each other."
Kaede, for the first time in this conversation, glared back at Rias.
"And I'm sure you realize that your utter failure in containing this brewing nest of Fallen and Exorcists in Kuoh has almost cost us a lot of resources in regards to containing it. So if you feel like my criticisms and tone are undeserved, Ms. Gremory, then I would advise you to keep those thoughts to yourself."
A perfect one-two punch, Rias couldn't reply to such a carefully-crafted statement, instead looking at her with widened eyes and a noticeably shut mouth.
It was quite literally a crafted statement, though, since on the way here I pestered Kaede for her notes on the discussion and got her to repeat this line to me, angry tone and all. I mockingly clapped at the time for the sake of teasing her, making her slightly embarrassed, but it was truly effective now that I was seeing it live.
To express my approval, I gave her a thumbs up under the table. Kaede glanced at me and, although she kept her expression stern for the sake of the meeting, she still nodded in acknowledgement.
"Now!" I said suddenly, clapping my hands and bringing everyone's focus back to me. "You guys fucked up and it got us almost irreversibly fucked. No biggie. Now that you know exactly how you fucked up and we gave you a stern talking to, it's time for us to tell you what's going to happen next."
Exhaling the smoke once more, I leaned forward in my seat and, dramatically, told them their part in our mission.
"From now on, we want you to do… nothing."
"Excuse me?" asked Sitri.
"Nothing at all."
I took one last inhale from the cigarette before resuming the explanation, very insultingly rubbing the stub against the table to fully put it off, leaving a small black stain on the surface.
"You see," I began, smoke coming out alongside my words. "We were both called here to, more or less, clean up your mess. Therefore, all we want from you lot is to sit back and let us do exactly that."
Sitri was the first to respond, glaring at me much fiercely than when Kaede spoke—perhaps it was the cigarette. "That's not happening."
"Oh?" I let out, amused. "And why's that, exactly?"
"You may posture like you can do as you wish in this city, but it is still our territory, Husk", she said, spitting out my codename like an insult. "The final decision on what will happen will, in the end, still depend on us."
I mockingly nodded, as if impressed. "Whoa, that's so true! One huge problem, though."
Seeing as I didn't elaborate, Sitri just raised her eyebrow, challenging.
"And what would that be?"
"At least until all of the Fallen and Exorcists have been exterminated, both you and Rias have been considered unfit to deal with this matter."
The moment I said that, Sitri looked shocked. There was also, for some god-forsaken reason, shock amongst the peerages the second I said Rias' name. Maybe it was that pesky first-name basis crap Kaede was talking about earlier. The brown-haired boy on Rias' side was especially affected, since he was staring at me with intensity after my name calling.
"What do you mean by that?" asked Sitri, clearly getting frustrated with this whole conversation. "On what authority do you have it that we are now unfit."
To answer, I shrugged and started counting with my hand.
"Let's see, first of all, I've been keeping mercifully quiet through Kaede's explanation, but I myself am a victim of this city's absolute lack of security or control."
As I said that, Kaede produced a manilla folder from her jacket's inside pockets (which were quite big considering how much they held) and put it on the table. Opening it, she displayed a report that as always I couldn't understand (fuck you Japanese language) but I still knew the contents of it beforehand.
"This," I started, tapping the folder. "Is a thorough report on yet another incident that occurred in Kyoto, and wouldn't you know it, the source of the trouble came from Kuoh, too."
I took many of the photos inside the folder and displayed them to the peerages.
"These are pictures of twelve corpses that made their way from a bus to Kyoto coming from Kuoh."
My audience of underage demons looked at the pictures of corpses with missing eyes and punctured throats grimly. It was nice seeing reactions to my handiwork, I admitted to myself.
"Ah, don't feel bad for them, though," I clarified, grinning. "These twelve corpses actually belong to Stray Exorcists, and if you're wondering who killed them…"
I pointed a thumb to myself.
"I did."
Rias, for one moment, stopped just glaring in my general direction and actually looked concerned.
"What?"
I ignored her, obviously, and just kept talking.
"These Exorcists attacked me as I tried escaping from Kuoh, because in the few days I stayed here, I got attacked by a loose Stray Devil, a Fallen Angel, and the Stray Exorcist Rias just talked about. I hope you can understand that, at the time, and considering that I had no roof over my head, I was fearing for my life if I stayed a single day more in this city, and sure enough, twelve Exorcists tried killing me inside that bus."
Opening my hands, I continued talking. "And I'm just a human with a gun, people. Such a cool feat of murdering twelve Stray Exorcists in the middle of a packed bus full of innocent citizens wasn't something I could do with a gun and a dream, no matter how good of a shot I was… and that's when I awakened to Never Too Much."
Promptly, for theatrics, I summoned another coin to my hand.
"Never Too Much," I started, holding the coin close to my eye. "Is a Sacred Gear that allows me to create coins… and that's it, but that was enough for me to dispatch all twelve Exorcists, plus a couple Strays in Kyoto. It's really handy, I'll tell you."
At my brief explanation and claims, my audience of high-schoolers gave the coin in my hand some dubious looks. I didn't blame them for the doubt, and I wasn't going to try and change their mind, either.
"Anyway, the point of all that," I said, flipping the coin in my hand away to the floor, where it disappeared as soon as it made contact. "Is that this city is managed like absolute shit, allowing all those murderers and maniacs to run around without a care. Thus, you two heiresses have currently been deemed unfit for eliminating the Fallen threat, which is why we're here."
Although my explanation was quite thorough, even calling their city shit once more, Sitri still dared to glare at me, as if I was saying stupidity.
"Deemed unfit by whom?"
I smiled pleasantly, which considering my unfortunate facial features, meant something more akin to mocking and jeering.
"By us, of course."
Her glare somehow managed to intensify yet again. Before she could tell us where exactly we could shove our judgements in, Kaede took the steering wheel, her voice smooth and pretty as always.
"If you feel that our judgment is unfair, then you're free to escalate this discussion even further. Truth will still be that Kyoto was almost catastrophically affected by your mismanagement of the Fallen inside your city, and if you wish to keep the relations with the Youkai friendly or, at the very least, neutral, then you will let us eliminate the threat without your interference."
She tapped her finger against the table, and glared at both of the heiresses.
"We are quite literally asking you to do nothing."
Both Rias and Sitri stared hard at us both, but didn't say a thing. To let us roam and fix their mess would literally cost them nothing… except their pride. A bunch of people from another city, from another faction, came into their home city and cleaned up their mess. There is no way to appear as a competent leader after such an incident. Sure, it wouldn't be career-ending or irreparably humiliating, but we were still more or less dragging our balls across their faces.
And yet, after our thorough exposé, there were no grounds for them to claim that they hadn't fucked up. To still try and argue with us would simply guarantee that the entire Devil faction lost the favor from the Yokai… just because they couldn't own up to their mistake.
More or less, they were screwed, and so it came as no surprise when, after a few more moments of silent communication between Rias and Sitri, Rias finally sighed and said, with her voice as neutral in tone as possible.
"Fujiwara Kaede and… Husk," she spat, the codename sounding strange from her mouth. "You may act as you deem necessary, as long as it is within reason, inside Kuoh for the purpose of eliminating the Fallen threat."
After a few beats of silence, Rias added, her face twisting a bit into displeasure despite herself.
"We also apologize for the mistakes that led to the attack in Kyoto."
Both Kaede and I nodded, my nods a bit more mocking than hers.
"Good," said Kaede, succinctly. "Then this meeting is over."
As both of us began standing up and gathering our bags, Rias frowned and shook her head.
"No, there is a condition to your freedom of movement in Kuoh."
Kaede, always sharp, glared at Rias as she seemingly went back on her agreement. "Ms. Gremory-"
"Although we will not interfere with your mission, a representative of the Devils must be present. This still is our territory, Fujiwara-san, and some very basic surveillance should be expected."
Rias raised an eyebrow. "Normally, we'd just send a familiar to watch over you, but so far both attempts to do that with your partner Husk have ended with him shooting them in public spaces."
As she recalled my casual violence against their familiars or whatever the fuck that meant, the blonde boy from Rias' peerage looked uncomfortable, although he still kept a pleasant smile on his face.
"Caesar was very… very upset after your casual display of violence, Mr. Husk."
He accompanied this by an awkward little laugh, trying to make light of me shooting his pet bird. I just stared back at him with a very uncaring expression, not bothering to answer his remark. His bird looked very stupid and shootable, to be fair.
"So," continued Rias. "Having a Devil accompanying you is a more than reasonable condition. They won't interfere unless you ask to, and will simply be there to watch over you."
As she finished her explanations, I raised an eyebrow at Kaede, watching if she would try and discuss this any further. Kaede sighed in exasperation.
"Fine, then," she relented, probably sick of talking to these high-schoolers. "Have it your way. Choose your representative quickly so we can move on."
Rias quickly motioned to… herself, putting a hand over her (sizable) chest.
"It follows that the one most suited to keep tabs on you is myself, of course."
In unison, both Kaede and I frowned at her nomination
"Really, Rias? Wasn't this talk unpleasant enough?"
"Are you bereft of responsibilities, Ms. Gremory?"
Our obvious reticence to her presence seemed to have the opposite effect, making Rias smirk confidently.
"Why, if there are 1st and Special-Rank Yokai Agents in my territory, then having a High-Class Devil keeping you in check seems appropriate enough, does it not?"
It seemed as if our posturing backfired badly. Sitri stared oddly at Rias' bold declaration, probably with a poignant 'what the hell are you doing?', but she kept it silent. It was obvious to everyone that Rias had some hang-ups, and mentioning it right now wouldn't really work to their benefit, their image already slandered enough.
Akeno didn't seem to share that same silent agreement, putting a hand over her mouth and her voice teasing.
"My, my, President. You seem very eager to act as a third-wheel for our two agents now."
Both Rias and, surprisingly enough, Kaede, glared at Akeno for her little comment.
"Akeno, don't start."
"What do you mean third-wheel?"
Taking the chance, I casually replied.
"Your secretary's right, Rias. Stop third-wheeling."
"Wha- Husk."
Kaede was now glaring at me, voice stern and obviously a bit embarrassed at the blatant implication I just threw around for everyone in the room to digest, one of her cute fox-ears twitching. I just shrugged at her, Rias would be third-wheeling. Where was the lie?
Akeno let out a curious 'Ooh?' after my comment, with Rias' smirk promptly changing into a frown, which was when Kaede promptly decided that we needed to get the hell out of here, lest she was on the receiving end of more teasing comments.
"Fine then," she replied, obviously annoyed at the intrusion, her tail slowly swishing side-to-side displaying her true feelings. "The Gremory heiress will accompany us in the operation."
Rias, for the first time in this entire meeting, looked like she got some sort of victory against us. Standing up with an evident pleased vibe around her, she moved to the door.
"Akeno, please take care of things in my absence."
She nodded, her ever present smile still on. "Of course, President."
Rias looked back at both Kaede and me.
"Well? Let's go, shall we?"
Both of us gave her unpleasant looks.
As the two Agents and the President left, the room was left in complete silence.
Issei, unable to contain himself any longer, turned to Himejima-senpai.
"What just happened?"
Himejima-senpai gave him a look of pity, instantly knowing that he wasn't talking about the list of demands from the agents, but rather the President's sudden departure.
"It seems that our dear President decided to chase the target of her… obsession. The wound of his rejection was still painfully fresh, it seems."
"Oh." Issei paused, mulling the words over. "That's… alright?"
His answer visibly surprised Himejima-senpai, and in some ways, also himself.
A few days ago, Hyodou Issei would've been left absolutely fuming at the thought of another man having the President's attention and, if Himejima-senpai's right, obsession… but the training…
In just a few days, Issei's image of perfection from the President had been shattered and replaced with that of a ruthless and demanding general that only saw him as a piece to be used, and sure, Issei still really, really, REALLY, loved the President's breasts. They were still a very important reason for why he turned himself into a Devil, but they went from something that he really wanted to grope to something closer to… worship, maybe?
Or respect… or admiration? Love from afar?
…This was tough.
Issei just knew that, although he LOVED the President's breasts, he respected (read: feared) her too much to even think about her beautiful perfect breasts as something that he'd get to eventually grope. The strict and unforgiving demeanor during training scared the lust out of him.
…Well, at least Himejima-senpai was nice. He could fantasize about her, right? Right?
Before Issei could safely fantasize about his senpai's breasts, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully and looked at her again.
"Why exactly did the President act so… odd with that weirdo Husk guy?"
Akeno giggled at his question, still looking at him a bit impressed that he didn't freak out at the President's focus.
"Well, you may not believe this, Issei-kun, but the President, at least three days ago, would've treated you completely differently than she does now."
"...Really?" Issei said doubtfully.
"Really," reiterated Himejima-senpai. "And it's all because of this Husk guy. He was the first to reject her peerage offer and, he did it so thoroughly, that the President had a bit of a… crisis."
Without Issei noticing, everyone in the room was listening intently to Himejima-senpai's words, taking in the latest gossip involving the Heiress.
"Ever since that day, she's determined to change herself completely, which directly led to your recruitment, Issei-kun."
"Oh, so it's thanks to that Husk guy that I'm here?"
"Not exactly, but in a roundabout way you could say he was involved."
"Hoooh…" let out Issei, taking in the new information. He then asked. "But why do you say the President's obsessed with him?"
Seeing that the subject changed to something more juicy in terms of gossip, Himejima-senpai smiled almost sadistically, seeing the perfect opportunity to annoy her King.
"Think about it like this," she said, holding the attention of everyone in the room. "If you were as beautiful and desired as the President was, and for the first time in your entire life you proposed something important to someone… and got thoroughly rejected in every possible way… wouldn't you at least feel a little bit hung-up on it? Even more so if the guy went and accepted a similar offer from someone else?"
There were numerous nods and affirmative hums across the room, with even Sona listening intently. The Queen had formed an impromptu class, and it was all about gossip on the Gremory heiress.
"It almost looked like she had a crush on the guy," said the blonde-haired guy from Sona's side.
The Gremory Queen hummed thoughtfully at his comment, and said the most juicy thing she could possibly say to spark hushed conversations between the Devils of Kuoh.
"No one's saying it can't be that, too," said Akeno-senpai, smiling pleasantly.
At that, a sudden silence fell on the room as one collective thought ran across everyone present that wasn't the Queen.
There's no way. The Gremory heiress crushing on THAT guy?
That's impossible, right?
…Right?
Frankly, Issei didn't see the appeal in him. With Kiba, he could understand—he was a pretty boy, the bastard—but with Husk he just looked like one of those disheveled adults he'd sometimes spot when returning home that were getting out of work, with the eyebags, the unshaven face, the resting dead-expression, the suit, and most obviously the cigarettes. Was it that vibe that attracted her? The vibe of a tired adult? Or was it the absolutely horrid personality?
…Was it because he's a foreigner?
"Is it because he's a foreigner?" he said promptly, not putting a lid on his thoughts. "Is his foreign accent sexy to her?"
Akeno let out a considering hum, absolutely pleased with where she had led the conversation.
"You know what, Issei-kun? Perhaps you might be onto something."
This was awkward.
"So, Husk, huh?"
Very, very awkward.
"How is it that you got that codename, Daniel?"
As we headed for one of the many hiding places for the Stray Exorcists, we obviously had to walk. A pretty fair distance, too, since it was quite far from the Academy.
Which meant that there was plenty of time for Rias to pester me about inane shit.
"I dunno."
"How can you not know, Daniel?"
"Whatever whims Yasaka has about my naming is outside my jurisdiction. I don't care, either."
On one of the sidewalks of Kuoh, in a residential area, were two sharply-dressed individuals, and one high-schooler walking beside them.
"Ms. Gremory," said Kaede, not happy with Rias' presence. "I thought you were going to just keep an eye on us."
"I said I wouldn't interfere, Fujiwara-san."
Kaede frowned, looking forward. "That you did."
"And anyway," continued Rias, absolutely dead-set on keeping her mouth going. "What are we doing here, exactly? I doubt the Fallen are hiding inside normal homes."
"The Fallen are hiding elsewhere," said Kaede, trying to not be annoyed with the third-wheel. "Before getting rid of them we're taking care of the smaller Exorcist hideouts."
Rias hummed, then turned back to me.
"So, why are you named Husk?"
I ignored her again and turned to my partner.
"Kaede, save me."
"I'm afraid I can't, Daniel," she replied. "I agreed to her terms rather hastily, which means that this is a hell of my own making. I apologize."
At the small exchange, I could see with E.E how Rias' face changed into a frown yet again. "Oh, so you're on a first-name basis, too?"
Kaede's expression soured further as she pointed that out, actually cursing as she mistakenly let out my name while in the presence of a third-party. "I knew something like this would-"
Seeing that the mood was getting further ruined by the second, it came as a blessing that the den of murderous religious extremists came into view.
"Hideout in sight," I said with not a small amount of relief. Kaede probably thought the same as she schooled her expression back into perfect neutrality. Rias looked at the building we were both focusing on, a quaint looking gated one-story house. The only thing that might clue you in that there were Stray Exorcists plaguing the place would be a small white paper glued to the gate with a very shitty-looking cross printed on it.
Hiding in plain sight, one would say.
Rias frowned as she saw the paper, then turned to us.
"Are you sure there are Exorcists here?"
"Yes," replied Kaede, tersely. After checking the directions we were in and making sure this was the right place with her notes, she sighed and revealed both of her fox-ears to the world, her tail slithering out of her pants.
"Husk, I will put on the barrier," she told me, gathering her hands and making a ying-yang hand sign. "Make sure to enter and dispose of everyone inside quickly."
Seeing that I was finally going to get some action, I began stretching my arms. "Roger."
"In case of death," continued Kaede, closing her eyes in focus. "We will meet at the designated spot an hour later."
I paused for a second, wondering if it was safe for Rias to hear this, before simply shrugging and continuing my stretching. There was no way she'd know I was immortal without context.
Sure enough, Rias frowned at the very casual mention of my death. "You sure take your mortality rather carelessly, Daniel."
"Comes with the job," I gave her, unhelpfully.
As she took a deep breath, I could feel power emanating from Kaede and, from within her, a dome-like barrier began expanding. Transparent, and seemingly untouchable, the dome expanded and went past me and Rias, becoming bigger and bigger until it contained the entirety of the house, after which it ceased expansion.
Once the barrier was set up, Kaede sighed and stopped her hand gesture, now crossing her arms (if that pushed her chest up a bit it would go unmentioned by me).
"There, no interference should come from anyone unrelated. You're free to shoot your weapons without consequence, Husk."
I hummed, noticing idly that she returned to using my codename, a matter I'd blame entirely on Rias' presence. With a last groan of effort, I finished stretching. Slinging my backpack from my arms to the ground, I crouched and began rummaging inside for my weapons.
Rias still looked a bit concerned as I looked for my guns, clearly bothered by how blasé I was behaving.
"Are you sure you don't want any help?"
"Very sure."
First, I took out my greatest friend and my soon to be first-wife, the Colt M1911. Trusty, reliable Colt. Its weight in my hands brought comfort that not even the warmest of beds could provide, and its silvery color and figure ignited a lust hotter than the most fiery depths of hell. It was a quick and easy solution to any and all natural and supernatural problems.
And secondly… I took out the big boy.
A sickening grin adorning my already unflattering face, I slowly gripped the big BOY by the handle and took it out of the backpack…. and it was GLORIOUS.
In my hands, feeling its cold handle and HEAVY WEIGHT, was a Smith & Wesson Model 460XVR, a fucking huge five-shot revolver that promised absolute slaughter to anyone in its path. One shot would obliterate any creature's head into complete smithereens, and once we factored in the [Perfect Stacks] and other stupid bonuses…
It'd be a complete SLAUGHTER.
With the BIG FUCKING REVOLVER in my hands, I was finally made whole.
This BIG BOY was given to me by Yasaka when the topic of how I was going to eliminate the Fallen came up. Even with [Coin Stacker] granting me ridiculous amounts of [Perfect Stacks] that can instantly kill Strays, it'd still be best to get an upgrade in weaponry, because trying to kill a properly powerful Fallen with a normal handgun, sexy as the M1911 was, would be kind of stupid.
Thus, she produced five gun magazines from thin-air, directly imported from the US, sat me down by her desk, and told me:
"Choose one."
It felt like asking my mom for a Christmas gift, except this time I didn't get beaten and starved in return (No, I didn't have issues). Since it was all in English, I did have to frequently ask Yasaka about what every piece of text meant, which further reinforced that slightly humiliating feeling of asking my mom for a Christmas gift (No, I really didn't have issues), but after much perusal, I eventually stumbled upon the BEAUTIFUL S&W 460XVR.
I pointed my finger at the picture of the gun, and told her.
"This one."
The smile she gave me in return DID NOT elicit ANY SORT OF FEELINGS or ISSUES, but… you could've said that it was akin to that of a mother who acquiesced to giving a certain present to her child, indulging their childish desires.
…Uh, Daniel, it almost sounds like you-
NO, I DIDN'T HAVE ISSUES. YOU WANT TO FIGHT!?
Back to the present, as I held the gigantic and sickening revolver in my hands with an equally revolting grin on my face, Rias eyed me warily.
"You really brought firearms to a high-school, huh?"
"Yup," I replied shortly, shaking myself out of my lead-induced stupor. "Your security sucks ass, huh?"
That made her frown, but I felt no remorse. My quest for Kaede's affection / friendship was being negatively affected by her presence and now that I knew how she looked with those cute fox-ears and tail out, I was more dead-set on getting in her good graces than ever. I would have a good relationship with this cute smart girl and I would NOT be hindered by this pesky demon.
With both of my lovely guns on hand, I proceeded to store them in the inside pockets of my jacket, which were spacious enough to allow comfortable storing of guns.
After that, it was simply the expected due process. Check the guns, see if they had ammo, load them up, store the M1911 magazines in my left pocket and the five speed-loaders with five .460 Magnum rounds in my right pocket.
Before I stood up, I thought of the actual real possibility of my death. Considering that I wouldn't enter there with my backpack on, I took out a single sprite of Humanity that I had inside, in case I needed to restore my human visage once I resurrected without my backpack.
Now ready, I got up to my feet and looked at both Kaede and Rias.
"If you hear me shout 'SHIT'S FUCKED', assume that shit's fucked, yeah?"
Both of them looked thoroughly unamused. Tough crowd.
"Just get it done, Husk," Kaede told me sternly, acting rather differently now that there was a third-party to witness our interactions.
"Daniel," I corrected, in defiance to her attempts at seeming professional.
She frowned at me for a little, considering if it was worth going through this same song and dance just because Rias was present.
Finally, probably thinking that any kind of professionalism was already dead the second we stepped into this city, she just said with a weary sigh. "Daniel, get it done."
"Why, of course, Kaede."
With a bit of pep in my step after taking a figurative shit on Japanese customs, I climbed over the gate and headed for the house's door.
"Are those assholes still outside!?"
The ambience inside the hideout was tense. Three fucking assholes were perched outside looking! Snooping! Worse still…
"Why the FUCK is that Gremory bitch outside!?"
"I don't fucking KNOW!"
Valentino was fucking sick of his assigned group. So three little assholes were giving their hideout funny looks. Big deal. They were SIX entire exorcists against two humans plus the Gremory bitch! Easy Peasy! Just kill the humans and run for their lives before the Gremory could eviscerate them fully!
Of course, since he was the only one that had his shit together, he ended up guarding the door, looking through the peephole with his light gun held tightly. The other five Exorcists with him were all still sitting around the table, their impromptu 2 o' clock poker session interrupted. The bottle of Ballantine Whisky sat half-empty in the middle, and with the numerous empty beer cans scattered around the place, it was pretty evident that all six Exorcists were just fucking around without any responsibilities.
To be fair to his team of stupid assholes, Valentino was also a willing participant of the fucking around, the faint buzz of alcohol unpleasantly making rounds around his head. Ever since that Raynare bitch had sent a twelve-man team to kill some random hobo, they had received absolute radio silence from her. No orders, no nothing. If he was a man of less faith, he'd almost say they forgot about them.
And with nothing to do, the free time turned to annoyance, then to boredom, and then it inevitably led to absolute sloth and self-indulgence in the shape of a whisky bottle.
It was a good bottle, to be completely fair. The FIFTH one this very week, to be precise.
Yes, he knew it was Tuesday.
…Oh, would you look at that?
"Hey, one of em' jumped the gate!" said Valentino to his group of assholes.
"Huh!?""What!?""FUCK!"
"Yup," said Valentino in response to the eloquence of his teammates. "But look at this asshole! He's just striding here without a care! I think he's even whistling!"
As the disheveled-looking man in the suit approached, he suddenly stopped in his tracks completely. Valentino tensed and held his gun tighter. He didn't detect the same stench of a Devil from him, unlike that Gremory bitch who fucking reeked… but he still felt a little off. Valentino muttered a curse, regretting this very moment how he never trained his senses at the church before he got excommunicated.
The man in the suit looked at the door, almost as if he was staring directly at him, and he pulled out a very… oh, shit, that's a big fucking gun. Well, he was still a human (maybe) so it wasn't like Exorcists like Valentino and his team should really care that much. Disarming dumbfucks with guns was Exorcism 101 after all.
He turned to his team, a bit relieved that at the end of the day the trespasser was just some fuck with a revolver.
"Guys, this asshole has a fucking-!"
B A N G!
PI- PI- PING!
And the top of Valentino's head exploded, splattering blood and gore everywhere.
Before anyone else in the room could properly react to the visceral show in front of them, not even giving them time to properly process the death of their unofficial leader…
B A N G!
PI- PING!
B A N G!
PING!
.460 Magnum rounds went through the walls like nothing, uncaring of concepts such as walls or cover and headed straight towards two of the Exorcists' heads. Just like Valentino, the top of their heads exploded horribly, showering the table, the room, and everyone sitting in it with blood and brain matter.
Now, they reacted.
"Oh SHIT!"
The Exorcist sitting at the head of the table stood up in a hurry, face covered in gore, and ran towards the kitchen, wanting to get as far away from the shooter as possible.
B A N G!
Unbeknownst to him, the .460 round didn't care in the slightest, bursting through the house's walls
with ease thanks to 33 [Perfect Stacks] empowering it. In a clean line, the bullet went into his head.
34 [Perfect Stacks].
His head burst. From his neck upwards, everything gone, a shower of gratuitous violence coating the house from where he died.
To say the remaining two Exorcists were panicked was an understatement.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FU-!"
They went running, both in the same direction: towards the backyard. One of them, the one in front, suddenly stopped, turned around, and pushed the Exorcist following him backwards.
"Wha-!?"
B A N G!
The face of betrayal didn't last, his head quickly exploding just like the rest of the team. The last Exorcist couldn't care less, and he kept running towards the backyard. He wasn't stupid, he recognized the sound and damage from those bullets, thanks to the few missions he did in the US before getting excommunicated. Those rounds were for revolvers, and the specific type was most likely five-chambered. The shooter needed to reload, this was his chance of escaping this fucking place.
As he predicted, no shot interrupted his path and soon enough, he reached the door to the back. Bursting it open with a kick, he stepped outside, a simple three meter wall being his last obstacle.
Thanks to his enhanced physical abilities, jumping over it was easy as-
The exorcist crashed against an invisible force, smashing his face against what seemed to be nothing, making him fall to the ground painfully. Covered in his teammates' blood and brain bits, face sore from the impact, the last survivor from Team #3 felt mighty pathetic at that moment.
If one looked at the situation from an outsider's perspective, they could say that feeling so much pain in his face was one last blessing from the God he used to serve, because so focused was he on the sudden existence of a barrier, that he didn't notice the coin flying over him, and thus felt no anxiety or pain as-
B A N G!
PI- PING!
And it all became silent.
46 [Perfect Stacks].
2400 Souls total.
As the last Exorcist died, adding another nasty headless corpse to the collection, I raised the smoking barrel of the 460 revolver to my lips.
And blew the smoke off.
10 year-old Daniel would've been proud.
With a [Stylish Twirl], I spun the revolver and holstered it back into my jacket. Soon enough, I could hear steps coming from behind me. Turning around, I saw Kaede entering the home, analyzing the horrid shitshow I created in less than twenty seconds. Her face was demure as always, but there were some hints that she was actually impressed as she took note of the corpses, taking out a notepad from her jacket and (spotting it with E.E) checking some boxes.
"So, how do you rate me?" I told her, genuinely curious. Kaede raised her gaze from the notepad and took another look at the headless corpses splattering blood all over the property.
"A 9/10," she finally said in what seemed to be approval. "Only complaint is that the last one crashed against the barrier. If he was more powerful he could've burst through it. Other than that, no objections."
I grinned heartily at her. "Great then!"
Walking merrily towards her, I smirked and leaned in. "Admit it, you thought before that I wasn't all that good, didn't ya?"
Kaede averted her gaze. "I… admit I had some doubts, especially considering your…"
"Behavior?"
"Your absolutely horrid behavior and manners, yes."
"Oh well," I replied, shrugging as she returned to checking boxes in her notepad. "It's part of the strategy, you know? No one expects such effective death from little old me."
At that, her lips tilted up a bit. "You don't exactly look harmless and innocent, Daniel. Quite the opposite, in fact."
I raised an eyebrow. "What do I look like, then?"
She turned her eyes to me, and narrowed them. "...Like a very tired office worker who is about to snap and kill a dozen innocents."
I playfully frowned in mock offense. "I don't look that bad."
"Then you look like…" she began, deliberately taking her time with the probably insulting comparison. Playing along, I crossed my arms as if about to scold her.
"If you say like a hobo-"
Before she could finish her simile, my amusement faded as Rias entered the 12-meter radius of E.E, watching her enter the room and eye the carnage I unleashed with a concerned frown. As soon as Kaede noticed Rias, she stopped herself from finishing the comparison, instead coughing into her fist and returning to noting things down in her notepad. Goddammit.
"I… how did you do this, Daniel?"
I had half-a-mind to punt the third-wheel into the stratosphere, but held myself back. First because she was probably much stronger than me if the High-Class Devil bullshit was to be trusted. Second, because making a big deal out of it would probably make Kaede even more uncomfortable.
Ah, the things one did for love / platonic friendship. Whichever one was more convenient at the moment. She was cute regardless.
Turning to Rias, I just shrugged.
"You saw me, right? I just shot my gun."
She frowned, which was an action I was noticing she always did when information was hidden from her.
"Yes, but those coins…"
"They're just for show. Never Too Much is a shit Sacred Gear, truth be told."
She looked at me doubtfully, motioning with her hand towards one of the walls I shot at. The hole made by the .460 Magnum round was big, unproportionally so compared to the normal bullet. Beside the hole was a completely headless corpse.
"So, anyone with a gun can do this?"
"If they're cool and dandy like me, then yes."
It was a completely unhelpful answer, just like momma used to make. Unlike the meeting at Kuoh Academy, Rias' frown was less completely offended, as she actually pouted.
…She was cute, I'd give her that. Shame she was a highschooler.
Finishing my musing on the attractiveness of women in the middle of a bloodbath, I took out my cigarette pack from my jacket, and promptly took out a smoke, perching it in my lips.
Without looking at her, I said, "Kaede?"
She glanced at me, saw the cigarette, sighed, and snapped her fingers, lighting the cancer-stick up. Rias raised an eyebrow at the exchange, but I didn't bother saying anything to her, instead fully facing Kaede, who was stuck on her notepad taking notes.
"So, what now?"
Kaede, her voice soft and clear as always, not diverting her attention from the paper, said,
"We gather the corpses and we burn them, of course."
"...Really?"
"Yes, Daniel," she turned to me, pocketing her notepad. "Did you think we'd just leave them here to rot and be found by a normal human?"
Yes, was my knee-jerk answer that I held back. It must've shown on my face, because Kaede shook her head in disappointment.
"I'm part of the clean-up team back at Kyoto," she began explaining. "I'm sure Ms. Gremory has one of her own, but this is a Yokai operation and thus, we take care of it. Now, please start gathering the corpses into a pile."
Such cuteness shouldn't be saying such outrageous things.
"What do we do with the blood?" I asked, taking a glance at the new coat of fresh paint I gave to the place.
"I'll take care of that. Now, please, the pile of corpses?"
With a sigh, I went for the nearest corpse, grabbed him by the armpits, and began dragging him.
"In the backyard, please," she ordered casually. "If you spot any big pieces of their head, brain or skull scattered around, please take those to the pile, too."
"Aye, aye."
Thus, as I dragged corpses around (and stole their Humanity in the meanwhile), Kaede gave orders while taking notes, and Rias simply watched the proceedings with a frown, we began the cleaning procedures of the operation.
By the time there were four corpses on the pile, Rias turned to Kaede (which offended me, since I too was helpful) and asked her,
"Is this the only Stray Exorcist hideout in Kuoh?"
Kaede looked at her, then very deliberately raised an eyebrow, as if taunting her.
"How curious that you're the one asking me."
I didn't expect the petty comment, and neither did Rias as her frown deepened. Kaede eventually answered, taking a quick look at her notes.
"There are six of these hideouts throughout Kuoh."
Kaede, sensing the incoming question from Rias, preemptively answered. "Yes, this is the priority. If we attack the main headquarters of the Fallen without taking care of them, it's unpredictable what they're capable of doing if they catch wind of their leadership being disposed of."
Rias, although not pleased with how easily Kaede read her, still nodded. Considering the fact this was her mess probably helped in tempering the desire to complain.
As the interaction finished, I stopped fucking around by listening in on conversations and returned to my duty of corpse moving, grabbing the fifth headless corpse by the armpits and dragging it out the house.
"Quién es la que viene allí~ Tan bonita y tan gentil~ Quién es la que viene hacia mí."
With a song from my land in my heart, I kept the hustle going, the entire front of my suit and shoes completely stained with blood after five corpses.
But alas, such was work.
"Es la que esperaba yo~ Dulce nena de mi amor~"
AN: Yes, almost two weeks for a 9k words chapter. I know it's not that much, but alas, life tends to happen and with it comes responsibilities. Anyway, at least this proves that dividing the chapters in pieces is working at least, since otherwise this story would've been unactive for almost a month if I didn't.
I thank everyone who bothers reviewing this story and giving me their thoughts. I am quite literally writing this story only for your amusement, so if you got amused by my story or have any sort of feedback, let me know. Please, I am ON MY KNEES.
And that's it.
Thanks for reading.