Snape's Unwanted Gift

"You called for me, headmistress?" Severus entered the Headmistress's Office just as she seemed to finish writing something down.

"Have a seat, professor," McGonagall said, gesturing to the chair in front of her.

Severus had a feeling he knew what she was going to tell him, but he didn't let on. From what he had gathered, Remus was resigning from the Defense post at the end of the school year, which was now less than a week away. This meant that Severus could finally switch from teaching Transfiguration to Defense Against the Dark Arts, a post he'd wanted for the longest time. Feigning ignorance, he asked, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I called you in today to inform you that your position as Transfiguration professor will soon be occupied by Lily, as we have discussed," McGonagall began. "I hear Alice-Marie is quite taken with your house-elf."

"She is," Severus said, a smile forming on his face without permission. He immediately straightened up and returned his focus to the topic at hand.

"Now, with the resignation of one of our House Heads," McGonagall said, "I will, of course, have to consider a suitable successor."

"Naturally," Severus agreed. "But of course, I trust your judgment."

"Thank you, Severus," McGonagall said with a smile. "In that case, congratulations on becoming the new Head of Slytherin."

Severus was about to thank McGonagall, but he froze. That didn't sound right at all. "... I don't think I follow."

"What do you mean?"

"I was led to believe Professor Lupin was resigning by the end of the school year," Severus said slowly. "There was talk about a Head of House leaving their post."

"That would most likely be in relation to Professor Slughorn," McGonagall said. "He's decided to retire."

"So soon?" This didn't sound right whatsoever. "He still has a few years, doesn't he?"

"He thought that you would make an excellent successor," McGonagall replied. "You'll be taking up the post of Potions Master."

"... ah." Severus felt the wind being taken out of his sails. "I see."

"You seem disappointed," McGonagall said.

"Not at all," Severus lied. "Potions are my area of expertise."

"Very good," McGonagall said. "In that case, that will be all, professor."

Severus stood, nodded his head in respect, and left the office, cursing to himself with each step he took from the staircase to the quarters he shared with Lily.

As soon as Severus entered, he found Lily breastfeeding a five-month-old Alice. She turned and said, "How did it go?"

"Hmm?"

"Your big promotion to Defense," Lily said with a smirk.

"... about that," Severus said, wiping the smirk off of Lily's face. "It would seem that Remus will be staying at his post. Slughorn's the one who's retiring."

"... what?" Lily's brow furrowed. "So, then you're... Sev, please tell me I'm still getting the Transfiguration post!"

"You are," Severus said. "I'll be taking over as Potions Master. My area of expertise, and all that." He sat on the couch in front of the fireplace, unlacing his shoes before laying completely down. He felt something small hop onto the couch and felt the familiar fur of Rory the half-Kneazle brush against the top of his head. "Typical."

Severus felt Lily tap his ankles, and he moved them to the side so she could sit down. "I think you're a perfect fit for the role," Lily said gently.

"Perfect to spend a majority of my day in a dank, mildewy room underground, inhaling noxious fumes?"

"We both know there's no one better for the post."

"Not even you?"

"I'm trying to compliment you," Lily said, a smirk in her voice.

Severus looked up at her and Alice and smiled. "How was she?"

"She's been quite hungry," Lily said, kissing Alice on top of her head. "Snarky's in the kitchen making us some dinner."

"Can I hold her for a bit?" Severus asked.

"After she's finished," Lily answered, gesturing to her breast. "Also, I think Rory wants some attention."

Severus raised his hand to his head and began scratching the half-Kneazle a bit, before it decided to hop onto his chest and stomach and sit down contently. "Hmm," Severus mumbled disapprovingly at the creature. He felt Lily take his ankles, one at the time, and bring them up on her lap. "Thank you."

"How about we swap?" Lily asked.

Severus sat up, taking Rory in his arms, and setting him down on Lily's lap just as the latter passed Alice to him. Severus turned Alice around so that she was facing him, and he held her up so he could see her little black eyes. "Good evening, Alice-Marie," he said as formally as he could. He thought it was important not to baby-talk the baby, or she would continue acting like one when she grew older. "I hear your mother has fed you-"

Severus was interrupted as Alice spat up, spraying his neck and chest with what he assumed was once breast milk. He shut his eyes instinctively (he'd learned his lesson from last time) as he held in a groan.

"One moment," Lily said. Suddenly, Severus's clothes didn't feel absolutely revolting, and he opened his eyes to find Lily had Vanished the mess. "There."

"Thank you," Severus said.

"Alice was just giving you a present," Lily said, holding back a laugh.

Severus looked Alice in the eye and said dryly, "Thank you, dear."

Alice grinned.