Three Sheets to the Wind
Severus felt Snarky Apparate the two of them just outside the house, and he felt his world spin as something warm crawled up and out of his mouth.
"Severus Snape will not vomit on Snarky again," the house-elf scolded as he snapped his fingers. The warm sensation in Severus's throat vanished entirely.
"Thank you," Severus slurred. "You're... you're a good friend, Snarky."
Snarky looked up at him and cringed. "... hmm," he replied. "Madam Lily will be displeased."
"... oh." Perhaps it was the liquor, but Severus didn't feel too worried.
The door to the house opened, and Snarky helped Severus inside. As the two of them walked into the sitting room, Marlene got up from the couch and rushed to them. "DADDY!"
Severus caught Marlene under her arms, lifting her up and pulling her in for a hug. "Good evening."
"... your breath stinks," Marlene said, her nose curling. "Did you drink?"
"... little," Severus said.
Marlene turned her head to the staircase and called out, "Mummy?"
"Yes, Marley?"
"I think Daddy's drunk!"
"... what?!" Lily hurried downstairs, and she was followed by the other children. "Severus Snape, have you been drinking?!"
"... little."
"Give Marley to me," Lily said sternly, pulling Marlene away and setting her down. "Upstairs. Now."
"Mummy, I didn't do anything," Marlene said, her eyes welling up.
"Not you. Your father."
The alcohol was starting to pull down Severus's defenses as the accusation in Lily's voice hit him. He avoided eye contact with the children as he carefully made his way upstairs. He found himself falling facedown on the bed, letting out a groan as he felt the nausea returning.
"... and Snarky won't chaperone for Severus Snape any longer," Snarky was saying to Lily. Even Snarky was against him.
"You have the night off, Snarky," Lily said.
"Snarky will be reading to Miss Marlene. Good night, Madam Lily."
"Night." As the door shut, Severus heard Lily walk over to him and flip him over. "Severus, why are you drunk?!"
"... sorry."
"Don't give me that."
"I-I just... Regulus was toasting, and... there was a drinking game... I didn't mean..." Severus's breath was growing shorter with each word.
"You can't be drunk in front of the children," Lily said sternly. "You're better than that."
Severus nodded silently, avoiding Lily's eyes. "I won't drink anymore."
"... Sev, you don't have to go teetotal on me. Just be careful." Lily brushed Severus's cheek with her thumb, and he realized it was wet. "You get weepy when you're drunk."
"No, I don't," Severus said indignantly.
Lily leaned down and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Get up. You need a shower."
"... too tired."
"I'll help you in."
"I'll pass out."
"... I'll join you."
Severus was on his feet instantly and hurried to the bathroom.