9. coney island (ft. the national)

and if this is the long haul / how did we get here so soon?

It took Irene less than 30 seconds to start planning when to have Meredith over for dinner once she heard that Cormac had gotten his vaccination. And it took him less than five to push it off due to "a busy schedule."

"You're a surgeon. A busy schedule is your everyday life, and hers. Figure it out."

And for the next week, that is all Irene would talk with him about, aside from the boys. He relented by the sixth day and only promised that he'd bring it up to her. They discussed the "firsts" after their spouses' deaths. From the big milestones to the smallest moments that they thought wouldn't matter. The first official meeting of the family was one he never really saw coming.

Granted, he didn't see any of this coming.

Cormac supposed it helped that Meredith had already met Irene and his boys. And when he checked with Austin and Liam to make sure they were okay with this dinner, everyone was on board. Hell, the more he played around with the idea, he was on board. But Meredith?

This thing of theirs was still new. Solid, consistent, but fresh in their lives. They'd yet to broach the topic of labels, even though their entanglements had been disclosed to HR. She talked about her three kids almost endlessly, and he'd yet to find himself tired of their misadventures. But, she held them behind this curtain of protectiveness, afraid to spring things on them too fast, too soon.

Meredith had told him that she keyed Zola into them dating because she was able to pick up on those sorts of things scary fast. But, the last person they met was DeLuca, and his story didn't end particularly well.

The worst she could say was no. That it was too soon, too fast, and they'd revisit it another time. So, Cormac found her fussing over paperwork in her office and knocked three times on the frame of her open door. Meredith's crinkled forehead smoothed out at the sight of him, and an easy smile broke out, "Hey, you."

"Hey, yourself. Seems like those papers are givin' you a hell of a time."

She snorted and pushed them away from her on the desk, "How insightful. But, a perfectly good reason to abandon them walked through my door."

"Is that so?"

"Mmhmm," she hummed, leaning back in her chair. He let the quiet lull linger for a second, the two of them just watching each other. When Abbi had talked to him about continuing to live his life and being open to love again, he'd shut down the notion with fervor. But now that it was starting to unfold in front of him, the idea was much less daunting and insulting to Abbi's memory.

"I have a question for you, and feel free to say no."

"Well, let me hear the offer before trying to sway my decision."

Cormac chuckled, "No, it's simply that Irene has been more than insistent on having you over for dinner since we've all been vaccinated. I didn't promise her anything beyond asking you about it."

"Dinner? At your place?"

"Yep."

"And your kids are okay with it?"

"Unless they're lying to me."

Meredith nodded her head for a minute, like she was thinking, before taking a sharp breath and saying, "Sounds great!"

"Okay then," he responded with a smile. He walked over to the edge of her desk and leaned his hip on the corner, "Ya know, some might consider this something a girlfriend would agree to."

She looked up at him, the crow's feet around her eyes becoming more prominent when she smiled, "I would tend to agree with those people."

"Are you calling yourself my girlfriend?"

He could see her gaze study his face, making sure this was a step he was comfortable with. After a moment, she nodded defiantly, "Seems appropriate."

Cormac couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth as he leaned down to kiss her.

A first.

Irene had no issues hammering out the logistics of food since she'd been the one to push for the entire night, to begin with. The plan was for Friday night at 7 pm.

Cormac got pulled into emergency surgery at 6:40 pm.

He was able to shoot Meredith a text before scrubbing in, which is how she found herself ringing the doorbell at his house for the first time alone.

When it was the two of them in their hotel rooms, the outside world seemed to be a few degrees removed from it all. They fell into each other in catastrophic global circumstances when they could hardly see their own kids once a week. Now, the real world had caught up to them. (Not that she complaining about the lessening of a worldwide pandemic.)

It's just that when Irene swung open the door, a bright smile on her face beaconing her into his home, Meredith couldn't help but feel a tad stunned at how real everything between them was becoming. Stolen moments in the hospital were one thing. Logically knowing that his kids were okay with them seeing each other felt vague and intangible. Stepping into the home he's made here in Seattle had a weight to it that she wasn't expecting.

Meredith had become a master at keeping things at arm's length. Nathan never got to meet her kids. Andrew and her always felt like they were playing house. They were all people in this post-Derek life she'd grown accustomed to. Moments of fun, lust, and a bit of love. But there's a difference between loving someone and loving them with the desire to build a future.

She never really factored anyone into her future after Derek, even as she was falling into bed with them. How could anyone follow up Derek Shepherd?

And no one could. Not in the way she'd used to think about it.

As she followed Irene past the living room and into the kitchen, taking note of the piles of tennis shoes and photos of smiling boys, she realized it wasn't about finding someone who could match him. It was allowing herself to be open to the possibility of something different. With Cormac, she didn't have to worry about explaining navigating dating after death. The complicated thoughts and emotions that were bound to follow.

When she saw his two boys sitting at the kitchen counter, noses in their Nintendo Switches, she knew he understood all the reservations of bringing someone into your kids' lives like that after such a loss. And he was willing to do it.

So, she could too.

Irene looked at her nephews and narrowed her eyes, "I walk away for 30 seconds, and you two have already forgotten the homework you're supposed to be finishing?"

Austin stood up from his stool and walked over to Meredith, giving her his hand to shake, "It's a pleasure to see you again, Dr. Grey."

Meredith shook his hand with a confused chuckle, "So formal. You can call me Meredith."

Liam glanced up from his game, "Dad was getting on us about being on our best behavior. But it's nice meeting you again."

"You too."

Irene took her by the elbow and showed her around the house. It's a modestly sized home, three bedroom, three bath. The layout was open and covered in nice hardwood floors. It was more modern and minimalist than the chaos she was used to at home. Irene pointed out all the photographs and artwork on the walls, the two biggest things that made it felt like a family lived here.

"When I was staying here with the boys, I took it up on myself to do a little decorating. Can you believe 'Mac had all of these just sitting in boxes in the basement? The nerve."

Meredith stopped in front of two pieces, a vibrant mixed-media artwork and a family photograph of Cormac, Abbi, and their sons. It was the first time she'd seen a picture of her. Austin and Liam were young in the photograph, and Cormac had a full head of hair. Meredith thought back to one of the first pictures she and Derek had taken after adopting Zola and how it still sat on her dresser.

"She's beautiful."

Irene hummed in agreement, "I always loved this photo. It captured the warmth in her eyes. She had that energy that warmed up a room, always ready to meet whoever with open arms. Abs always wanted to take care of people in her own way, spreading joy through herself and her art. One of those people you know was meant to be a mother."

Meredith nodded toward the artwork, "Did she make that?"

"Yes, she did."

"Well, it's lovely."

Irene smiled, quiet for a moment, before asking, "Do you have any siblings?"

"Uhh, technically, that's a complicated question, given my childhood," Meredith chuckled. "But, yeah. I've got Maggie, who is brilliant and compassionate and reminds me to be nicer. Amelia is the one who still lives with me and the kids. She's Derek's, my late husband, youngest sister. She's intense in the best way, charismatic, and drives me crazy. But, I love her."

"Trust me, I understand the in-laws."

"Then, there's Lexie. She's the one who taught me what it was to be a sister. But, she's no longer with us," Meredith tried to keep her voice from cracking at the end, but a little snuck through. She saw Irene look at her out of the corner of her eye before she put a steady hand on her shoulder.

Their moment was interrupted by two heads popping around the corner. "Is Dad stuck at work again?" Liam asked.

Meredith nodded, "He got pulled into a surgery right before we were supposed to leave."

Austin groaned, "Does that mean we have to wait to eat; I'm starving!"

Irene and Meredith looked at each other before Meredith shrugged, "He told me not to wait up but to save a plate."

She hardly got through her sentence before Austin had beelined for the kitchen, shouting for the rest of them to hurry up. They meandered into the kitchen, where Irene and Liam brought out the food that had been resting in the fridge and oven. The warm smell of homemade lasagna mixed with a zap of citrus from the salad hit Meredith's nose, "It looks wonderful."

"'Mac mentioned you wouldn't be upset at Italian food," Irene said as she set the salad bowl on the table in the dining room. Meredith laughed and took her seat next to Irene, with Austin and Liam sitting across from her.

It was quiet across the table except for the sound of utensils on plates as they divvied up the food. Meredith looked between the two boys, heads tucked down in their meals. Austin glanced up and caught her eye, "So you're a general surgeon?"

"I am, yes."

"Why?"

"Like why general surgery or why be a surgeon in general?"

"Both?" Austin shrugged.

"Well, my mother was a very talented surgeon, so medicine is all I've ever really known. I was interested in neurosurgery for a while, but that didn't pan out. Do either of you have an interest in going into medicine?"

"Nope. If I could go my entire life without seeing another hospital, I'd be happy," Austin said. "I think going into video game design sounds cools."

Meredith nodded, "That sounds very cool. What about you, Liam?"

Liam just shook his head no, still looking down at his food. While she trusted Cormac when he said his sons were okay with them pursuing a relationship, she imagined the change wasn't going to happen without some bumps. He mentioned Liam's quiet demeanor and not to take it personally.

Irene cleared her throat, "He's an excellent cook; he made most of what we're eating tonight. I, for one, think he should consider culinary school."

Liam looked over at his aunt, face flushing, but Meredith could see him trying to hide a smile. She nodded towards her plate, "Well, this is delicious. You should be proud. This is leagues better than anything I could make."

Liam muttered a "thank you" before going back to his food, but his shoulder's dropped, and he started looking around the table more. Irene took a bite of her salad before she asked, "How's your youngest doing? Ellis, was it?"

Meredith nodded, "Yeah, and she's recovering well, thanks for asking. She's definitely milking it for all it's worth. Her aunts and uncles have gifted her more toys than she knows what to do with."

"How-" Liam cleared his throat and spoke up. "How old are your kids? Dad mentioned you had three."

"I do. Zola just turned ten, Bailey is eight, and Ellis is five."

"Dang, three young kids as a single mother. I can barely manage helping out with these two," Irene said.

"It's not easy, but I've got a lot of help. My two sisters have been life-savers." Meredith smiled, "I never expected to be a mother before meeting Derek, and we hit some roadblocks before meeting Zola."

"Meeting her?" Austin looked over, confused.

"She's adopted from Africa. I," she stopped, a blush spreading across her cheeks. "I actually, technically, kinda of accidentally stole her for a few hours."

Suddenly three pairs of eyes were locked directly on her. "How do you accidentally steal a baby?" Liam asked in disbelief.

Meredith poked at her plate, slightly regretting bringing it up. She was supposed to be making a good impression. "There were some issues regarding the adoption getting finalized, and I got scared. I didn't really take her anywhere, I just hid in the basement of the hospital for a while. But, it all worked out in the end."

Meredith looked around the table, laughing slightly to try and show it was meant to be a funny story. The boys glanced at each other and back at her before bursting out laughing, Irene following not long after.

"That totally sounds like something Mom would've done," Austin said after a minute. "She was so protective over us."

Irene smiled at Meredith, "As a good mother should be."

Meredith helped wash the dishes despite Irene's protests. They stood at the sink with Meredith scrubbing and Irene drying. The boys settled back at the kitchen counter, attempting to work through their homework. Austin had put his headphones on, music up loud, as he scribbled away at a math worksheet. Liam had been sitting in front of his laptop, staring blankly at a screen for ten minutes.

Irene craned her head back to look at him, "What're you trying to work on, bud?"

"This career interview thing for my business class," Liam said, sighing. "We've got to professionally reach out to someone at the top of their career field that isn't family or a friend of the family and interview them. And I have no idea who to ask."

Meredith hummed as she finished up the last dish. After handing it off to Irene, she turned around and leaned against the counter, looking over at Liam, "Does using professional connections through your parent's job count?"

Liam tilted his head and quickly pulled up the syllabus, "No, that looks to be okay. But, I think you're considered more than a work colleague to my dad."

"Not me," Meredith laughed. "I have a friend who should be awake by now that we might be able to set up a video call with."

Cormac finally tore off his scrub cap as he looked at the clock. He'd be lucky if he made it home by 10:00 pm at this point. But the surgery went well, and getting the patient set up for the night shouldn't take terribly long. On his way up to Pead's floor, Wilson fell into step with him, "Aren't you supposed to be at a family dinner with Meredith?"

"Last minute emergency surgery. I'm heading over soon."

"Good, good." She smiled, "Soooooo… how's it going?"

"How's what going?"

"Don't be stupid. You and Mere, duh."

"It's going well."

Wilson groaned, "Uhg, you are giving me nothing here."

Cormac stopped just before turning the corner and crossed his arms, "Would you mind cluing me into why you are so invested in my relationship with Grey?"

"Because she's my friend, and you're becoming my friend, and I think you're good together."

"Oh, we're friends now?"

"Yes," she said, a definitive smile on her face. "Plus, I'm one of the only people who you talk to on a regular basis who really knows Meredith. Trust me, sometimes you'll need a translator."

"Mmm," Cormac rolled his eyes and started walking again. "I think I'm learning the language fairly well on my own, thank you very much."

Wilson chased after him, "Plus, I think the whole you being a gift thing is funny."

"A what?"

When Cormac finally opened the door to his house, a voice he didn't expect to hear flooded out from the kitchen. As he rounded the corner, he found his oldest son on a video call with Cristina Yang, going on about how she ended up as the head of the Klausman Institute.

He leaned over Liam's shoulder, "What on earth is going on here?"

Liam glanced up from where he was taking notes, "I'm interviewing her for my assignment."

"I thought friends of the family didn't count."

Cristina's laugh came through the laptop's speakers, "I barely tolerated you when you were here, Hayes. Plus, this isn't a favor to you."

Cormac looked over to where Meredith was sitting a few feet away in the living room, smiling wider than he'd seen in a while. Austin was sat next to her, demonstrating his current video game obsession.

"By the way, what's this talk about me being a bloody gift?"

"Oh, don't get your panties in a twist; it's a joke. Ask Mer, and she can fill you in."

"How do you know Dr. Grey, anyways?" Liam asked.

"She's the only person I ever truly loved. No, but we worked together for years after meeting the first day of our intern year."

"Do you think she's a better surgeon than my dad?"

Cormac crossed the kitchen as he heard Yang reply, "Well, I definitely have a bias." The conversation became tuned out as Irene walked over and handed him a warm plate.
"Thank you for all of this tonight."

She followed his gaze towards the living room, "I'm starting to really love her."

"Aye, me too."

Irene wrapped Meredith in a hug before she could even look at the door. "It was wonderful getting to know you more. I hope we can do it again soon."

She pulled back with a smile, "Me too."

Austin and Liam settled for friendly smiles and a heartfelt goodbye. "Thanks for helping with my project," Liam said.

"It was my pleasure. If the teacher doesn't give you an A, let me know, and I'll call them myself," Meredith laughed. "But, thank you all for a delicious meal."

Cormac held the door open for her as she stepped out into the January cold. A fresh coat of snow had dusted the streets, and she left new footprints on her way to her car. He followed not far behind, watching the candyfloss snowflakes land in her hair. She stopped at the driver's side door and turned to him, a light smile playing on her lips.

Cormac stood just inches in front of her, "I think you've really won them over."

"I'm glad. You've got a wonderful family."

"Aye, that I do. Your's seems pretty great as well."

Meredith nodded, "They are. Maybe we should talk about you meeting them officially soon?"

"I'd like that, quite a lot, actually." He reached over, resting his hands on her hips.

"I realized tonight that a lot of these aren't just your firsts, but your family's too. And that my kids have had their own as life's gone on since Derek, and will continue to do so. I'd never thought of it like that."

Cormac hummed, "Me neither, but you're right."

She leaned into his touch, collecting her thoughts. "My kids' first meeting of someone was Andrew. They got along well, and he was a big help when I was going through my trial. Amelia said that they took it pretty hard when he died. I just don't want them to get hurt again."

"I understand completely." He leaned his forehead against hers. "I hope you know I have no intention of hurting you or them."

"I know, and I don't with you either. But, we both know how life can happen, so I just want to have a lot of conversations with them, make sure they're ready too."

"I think that's an excellent plan." Cormac paused, "Are you ready?"

"For what?"

"Seeing where this goes? Because I'm in this, Grey."

She grinned at the use of her last name, ducking her head a bit. She liked the way it sounded on his lips. "Yeah, I am."

Meredith wished she could bottle up the grin that spread across his face as he leaned down to kiss her. There was a sense of peace to it all with the knowledge that there wasn't any rush.

Just them in the Seattle snow.

A/N: thanks for reading! any kudos or comments are incredibly appreciated!