GUEST STARRING:

Pamela Hayden as Penny
Judge Reinhold as Fin
Kath Soucie as Holly
David Boreanaz as Spydrone

MAIN CAST:

JOHN DiMAGGIO as Augie
CHRISTIAN BORLE as VOX
JOEL PEREZ as Valentino
LILLI COOPER as Velvette
ERIKA HENNINGSEN as Charlie, Laudromat Demon

In the days following Charlie's meeting, Augie noticed that everyone was relatively busy with their own things, so he decided he'd get himself something to eat—of course, after a shave first.

"Uncle Augie, when was the last time you shaved?" Charlie asked.

The piranha demon felt his face a few times and was pretty surprised by this. "Ooh, I see your point, kiddo—I am gettin' kinda scruffy," he mused.

"Be sure to get a nice, clean shave," Charlie urged. "We can't have one of our hosts looking like he just rolled out of bed."

"You got it, Charlie!" Augie nodded as he scurried off to the bathroom and grabbed some shaving equipment on the way.

Seconds later, he hopped out of the bathroom, now free of stubble, but bearing a few shaving cuts. "By the way, I'm heading out to get some breakfast, I'll be back in a bit!" Augie called.

"Okay then, be safe," the demon princess said as she waved goodbye to her surrogate uncle.

"I always am!" Augie said as he bounced over the railing, and landed with a heavy THUNK inside of his suit. Once he'd gotten himself adjusted, he got to his feet, put a hat on, and headed outside, keeping his head turned up as he headed for the seaside district.

As Augie made his way downtown, the buildings began to resemble coral reefs and anemones—mostly because the sinners and hellborn around here resembled sea creatures.

"I love comin' out here," he said to himself. "Reminds me of how things used t'be—y'know, back when Charlie was little. Sometimes I'd bring 'er to the boardwalk and we'd spend whole DAYS there! Seein' that ferris wheel come crashing down was one of the toughest days of my life. But…I can't linger on the past any longer. I gotta live in the now."

Looking around, he spotted his destination—Penny's Diner. "Nobody makes fries like Penny…and her hash browns ain't too bad, either!" he smiled as he strode towards the door.

"Mornin', Penny," Augie greeted as he stepped through the door, the scent of cooked breakfast items hitting his nostrils.

Coming over with a pitcher of coffee and dressed in a blue dress with an apron was a humanoid fish-like sinner with green scales. "Mornin', Augie. How's one of my best customers doin'?" she asked.

"Can't complain; I just stopped in for a bite to eat, is all," Augie replied coolly.

"Figured as much," shrugged Penny. "So! What'll ya have?"

"Ooh! Omelet sandwich with beef dogs & cheese, plus fries on the side," said Augie.

"It'll be up in a minute," replied Penny as she headed off to pass the order on.

"Ah, she's a good egg," Augie smiled to himself, while checking that his built-in tape recorder was working. "You're probably wondering, 'Augie, why don't you give Penny a shot?' Well, we're just friends…and between you and me, I got eyes for someone else."

Scurrying to a seat, Augie hopped up and made himself as comfortable as he could.

"How about a cup of coffee, as well?" Penny offered.

"Sounds great," replied Augie.

"Great! With cream and sugar?" the green fish asked as she poured the hot coffee into a white mug.

"Spot-on," nodded Augie with a thumbs-up.

"Alright then," She topped it off with cream and sugar before serving it to Augie. "Here ya go, honey."

The piranha accepted his cup and took a long slow sip. "Ahh...delicious," he smiled.

"So, Augie. What's new and exciting?" Penny asked as she rested her arm on the countertop.

"Well, Charlie's still tryin' to get her hotel for redeeming sinners off the ground," said Augie. "So far, it hasn't been easy. We went to a meeting with the Angel leaders the other day, but…honestly, consider yourself lucky you weren't there, Pen."

"Awww! Well, hopefully you two can turn things around," responded Penny.

"Yeah, that's what I hope too," Augie replied as he drank some more coffee.

"Now, how are things going on with you?" the waitress asked.

"Things are alright," Augie replied. "I'm doing what I can to get by."

"Still pinin' over Carmilla?" Penny inquired with a smirk.

A visible blush crossed Augie's face.

"Not like I can blame you, though. I mean, just look at those legs of hers," said Penny.

"She's got legs for days," smiled Augie, a dreamy-eyed look on his face. "And damn, does she know how to use 'em! But not me. I got a stubby little pair of fish sticks, and I stink like I'm dryin' out in the sun. She can dance, but I can't. Not without…you know."

"Hey! Don't let that stop you." the waitress protested. "You've still got plenty of things going for you."

"Such as?" Augie prompted.

"For example, your charming personality," Penny said. "Not to mention, that adorable little underbite you have."

Augie raised a brow. "What, this?" he asked as he took another sip of coffee. "...you really think it's adorable?"

"Of course I do," Penny complimented him. "You're also smart, a capable protector, you're also funny. That's definitely a plus."

"I've never seen Carmilla even chuckle…but it is pretty nice whenever she smiles," Augie responded. "Maybe it'll happen again, sometime."

"Who knows? Maybe you could be the one to make her smile," responded Penny.

"EY, PENNY! ORDER'S READY!" called the short-order cook from the kitchen.

"On it!" Penny called back as she went to get the order; as she did, a tall stranger in a shroud came inside the restaurant, before taking a seat down from Augie.

Augie raised a brow as he took a sniff, which made him scrunch his nose up. Whatever this guy's deal was…there was something about him that just turned his stomach. He gave a growl from the side of his mouth.

The man in question was a moth demon, dressed in a gray hat and trenchcoat. He also sported a pair of rectangle shaped sunglasses with black lenses.

That scent…something about it is so sweet, it's sickening… Augie thought as he took a long sip of his coffee. Like someone who's DRENCHED in perfume.

Penny handed the stranger a plate with his food on it, and along with a cup of hot coffee. In turn, the stranger handed Penny a business card. "Here. Just in case you ever think about quitting this greasy spoon~" he smirked, showing off a row of pointed teeth.

At this point, this guy was giving off BLOOD-RED flags for Augie.

"Thanks, but no thanks," Penny responded, tearing the card apart and dropping the halves. "I like working at this 'greasy spoon', as you call it."

The moth demon glowered at this; very few people had ever said no to him before…it wasn't something he liked very much.

Augie smirked. "That's tellin' him," he responded. "So…is my order ready yet?" he asked.

"Yep! Here ya go!" the waitress said with a smile as she placed the piping hot dish right in front of Augie.

"Thanks!" Augie said as he grabbed his fork and tucked in, finally satiating his hunger.

As soon as he started, another demon walked through the door. This time, it was a blue fish demon dressed in a tan trenchcoat and a matching fedora.

"Morning, Penny," he said as he placed his coat over his shoulder and sat down.

"Good morning indeed, Fin," the waitress replied. "How come I haven't heard from you these past two days?"

"Sorry, Babe. I've been up to my gills in forensics work," Fin explained. "I've got a lot of hunches and very few facts."

"Ok, that's understandable." Penny said. "But just try to call more often, huh? I get a little lonely sometimes."

"What am I, a sushi platter?" Augie smirked. [Author's note: Because who ever heard of chopped fish liver?]

"Of course, I can't forget about you, Augie." she explained. "But ya see, Fin and I are going steady. So it's only natural for lovers to call each other on occasion."

Augie shrugged. "Can't argue with that," he replied.

"I get the picture, Babe," Fin said while taking a sip of his coffee. "I'll try to call ya later on."

"Alright, I'm holdin' ya to it," smirked Penny.

Augie glanced at Penny, then gave Fin a nod. At the very least, they were both on good terms.

After he was finished with his meal, the mysterious stranger got up from his seat and left some money on the counter. "Thanks for the meal," he said. "Might come back again."

Augie rolled his eyes. Please don't, he thought.

The stranger then looked at Augie and blew him a kiss before leaving, which produced a cloud of heart-shaped mist; the piranha demon looked like he'd just been offered a live cockroach, and grimaced visibly.

Well…THAT was nauseating.

"Who was that, Penny?" asked Fin.

"I dunno, but he definitely wasn't one of the regulars," responded Penny.

"Something about that guy stinks…he smelled too damn sweet," Augie commented.

"Like someone who's drenched in perfume?" inquired Fin and Penny.

"...ohhh, big time," responded Augie.

"I've been tryin' to nail him for a while, now." the sleuth said before another sip of his coffee.

"Yeah? On what charge?" the small piranha asked.

"For one, being a massive creep!" answered Penny.

"And that's just the short list," added Fin.

"Well, that's not too hard to believe," responded Augie. "Anyways, I think I'm gonna head out now. Nothing personal, really, I just got places to be."

"I understand," said Penny. "Come back soon, Augie. Tuesday is Strawberry Pie day!"

"They're surprisingly pretty tasty, even though I'm not much for sweets." Fin chimed in.

"I'll keep it in mind," responded Augie as he left a tip and headed for the door. "See ya!"

And with that, he left the diner, while the jerk from earlier watched him go.

"The little fish is heading out," he muttered into his phone. "Vel, Vox, keep an eye out for him. If the Princess's little stooge knows anything, he could be a useful asset."

"Don't you worry, honey," the sentient television screen reassured. "That little minnow's not gonna miss his close-up."

And so, Augie started on his way once more. But he still couldn't shake the unease he was feeling.

Something about that weirdo in the diner had really churned his stomach something fierce.

Somethin' about that guy just ain't sittin' right…and I need to figure out WHAT it is, he thought to himself. But maybe another visit to an old friend will clear the ol' noggin.

Augie then made his way to a local nightclub called The Nautilus; he'd been here plenty of times in the day, and some evenings.

"The ol' stompin' grounds," he mused. "Some things never change."

He headed inside to see the club's most famous singer, Holly, practicing on-stage, with the band playing behind her. She was a Bass demon with gray scales, shoulder-length red hair, hazel eyes, and a very bountiful chest with a pair of womanly hips to match.

"She's still got it," Augie smiled to himself as he took a seat.

Upon spotting Augie, Holly gave him a wink while still singing. Augie made himself comfortable, and kept on watching.

After the number finished, the buxom lounge singer almost immediately came over to where Augie was sitting, and gave him a big ol' hug.

"Augie, it's so good to see you again!" Holly said while smothering the piranha demon's face with her breasts.

"It's, er, great to see you again too, Holly~" Augie chuckled sheepishly. "So…how have you been lately?"

"Oh, everything's been great for the most part," Holly answered. "But there is one thing that's not great."

"Oh, boy…" Augie sighed. "Do I even wanna know?"

"Well, I figured I could share it with you, since we're so…close," she said before sitting down.

"Hey, sure!" Augie nodded. "I'm great with sharin', and I'm good with secrets!"

"Oh, I knew you'd understand," Holly said with a smile before elaborating. "So, the boss recently gained a new business partner. I think his name was Vincenzo, or somethin' like that."

Augie decided to file that tidbit in the back of his brain. "Yeah?" he prodded.

"He's involved in the…adult entertainment industry," she explained while giving Augie a slight nudge on his arm.

"I see…" Augie rubbed his chin.

"Between you and me, the guy's a real creep!" the singer stated very plainly.

Creep? Augie thought. "...what did he smell like?" he asked. "I mean, if you actually caught a whiff of him."

"Like he bathed in the perfume section at the department store." Holly said while gripping her arms. "Ugh! I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it!"

Could it be the same guy? Augie thought. "Was it sickeningly sweet?" he asked.

"Mm-hm!" Holly nodded while holding in her lunch, lest she lose it.

So it WAS the same guy! Augie thought. "He was at Penny's earlier today."

"Really?" Holly exclaimed. "Yikes! I hope he didn't try anything with Penny."

"He gave her a business card, but she threw it right back in his face," Augie replied.

"Good on her," the buxom lounge singer nodded. "I would've done a little more if I was in her shoes."

"Nobody would've blamed you," said Augie. "Look, have you seen anything…shifty going on around here lately?"

"I don't know if this counts, but this guy named VOX has been appearing on a bunch of TV shows…which is weird, because his head is also a TV." Holly explained.

Augie nodded and jotted down notes on this. "Sounds like that bigwig who's opened up his tech company," he replied.

"Oh! So that's why I keep getting pop-up ads with him in them," Holly realized.

"Could be," replied Augie. "That or he's hacked the Wi-Fi."

"Either way, it really keeps me up at night," the singer said with a sour expression on her face.

"Probably has some sort of eyes on everyone," said Augie. "But nobody stays on top for long. Sooner or later, he'll be headed for a fall."

"I just hope that fall comes sooner, rather than later," Holly sighed. "Anyways, how are things going on at that hotel?"

"Pretty well, actually," Augie replied. "We got our first guest a while ago, but so far, it's been slow."

"No offense, Babe," Holly started. "But didja really think that everyone would be on board with the idea? I mean, this is Hell we're talking about."

"I know, and NO, I don't think everyone would be on board," replied Augie. "But Chahlie believes in this whole project, and I gotta support her."

"Yeah, she's a good kid," agreed Holly. "But not a very good judge of character."

"Don't I know it," Augie sighed.

"I can tell she's gonna have her work cut out for her," Holly stated. "I mean, I may be a statuesque man-magnet with a voice husky enough to pull a dogsled, but I can usually tell when someone's not worth the trouble."

"That's why Vaggie and I are around," replied Augie. "Someone's gotta make sure Charlie doesn't make a terrible mistake."

"That's why I love you, Augie!" Holly said while lightly pinching the piranha's cheeks. "You're always looking out for others."

Augie blushed deeply. "Hey…I do what I can, y'know?" he shrugged.

Holly smiled. "Ya know, I just finished practicing for the day. And I was thinking that you and I could have a little quickie in my dressing room." she said with a wink. "That is, if you have the time."

Augie raised a brow. "I can make time," he replied.

"Great! I'll slip into something more comfortable." Holly then gave Augie a big, sloppy kiss on the lips before walking to her dressing room, deliberately swinging her shapely hips from side to side.

Augie made himself comfortable, watching Holly walk off. "Hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave," he smiled as he watched.

After a minute or so, Holly whistled from inside of the dressing room, letting Augie know that she was ready.

With that confirmation, Augie headed into the dressing room.

What met the piranha demon's eyes when he walked in was nothing short of stunning.

Holly was now dressed in a black bra with matching panties, as well as a garter belt on her waist. "So, are you ready to go for a swim?" she asked as she gently pushed up her breasts with her right arm.

"Ready and willing!" Augie said as he doffed his fedora and tossed it on onto a nearby coat rack.

"Come here, you~" Holly purred.

Augie loosened his tie and cracked his knuckles.

The buxom lounge singer then picked up the short piranha and put him down the couch before leaning in and locking lips with him.

Naturally, the door was already closed, with a sock preemptively placed on the doorknob.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER…

Holly and Augie were cuddling with each other on the couch, while their clothes were strewn across the floor.

Holly took a cigarette from the side table and lit it. "You ever smoke after sex?" she asked.

"Dunno, I never checked behind me," Augie responded.

"Hehehe!" Holly chuckled before taking a small puff. "I usually try to limit myself to only one per week. Being a singer, and all."

"Maybe you oughta do it a little less," Augie responded. "Just sayin'."

"Well, I'll try to," Holly replied as she took another puff. "This stuff tastes nasty, anyway."

"Attagirl," nodded Augie. "Still, I'm just doing my rounds, y'know?"

"Ya know, Augie..." Holly started. "You really oughta watch your back."

"What for?" asked Augie.

"Well, if the wrong people knew that you were Lucifer's right-hand man, they'd try to take advantage of that," said Holly.

Augie sighed, sitting up in bed. "Look, whatever friendship we had is over. It's in the past," he said, his thoughts going to a long-passed memory.

"Maybe, but you still have a pretty lengthy history with him," explained Holly. "And really, that's all that matters to the other overlords."

Augie just shook his head. "...some people, honestly…" he remarked.

"What I'm tryin' to say is…please be careful, Augie. I care about you, ya know?" the lounge singer said in a concerned tone of voice.

"I know," responded Augie. "After all, I'm not short on reminders."

"Well, just for good measure, here's another one," Holly said as she leaned in and kissed the small piranha on the lips.

Augie gladly accepted the kiss, and drew back after a little while.

"Well, Augie, I'm gonna head down to the wardrobe and pick out a dress for tonight's show," Holly said as she put her cigarette out on a nearby plastic dish. "Maybe I'll see ya there?"

"...if I can make time," replied Augie.

The buxom bass chuckled softly. "Tell Charlie and Vaggie I said 'hi'~" she said with a smile as she got up to stretch, before leaving the room.

"Can-do," Augie smirked as he hopped off the bed, shimmied up the coat rack to grab his fedora, and headed to the exit.

Of course, as he was leaving, he was spotted by one of VOX's spy-bird-bots [think Laserbeak from Transformers Armada, just colored red and gray], who transmitted the visual feed to VOX.

"It's just as you suspected, Boss," the surveillance drone informed. "That little trout used to be Lucifer's bosom buddy."

"Is that right, then? Well, then we need to get him on our side," VOX responded, his voice crackling over the intercom.

"And how are we going to do that?" the drone replied.

"By appealing to his…paternal instincts," the sentient television said with a devious digital sneer.

If the drone had eyes, it would be raising its brows in confusion.

Later on, Augie decided to grab a newspaper on the way to his next destination. He copped a squat on a nearby bench and started leafing through while waiting for the next bus.

The paper talked about how the Vees rose to power and essentially dominated all forms of media and entertainment. Augie sighed. The very thought of those creeps just turned his stomach…and frankly, they had a little too much power for his liking.

After a few minutes, the bus rolled in and skidded to a halt. Rolling up his paper, Augie got to his feet and scurried onto the bus. Throwing his money into the box, he went to find a seat, which fortunately, didn't take him too long.

He buckled in and continued reading his paper while the bus continued driving.

Behind him, there was an ominous blue light that shined just brightly enough to be noticed.

"Funny! I don't recall asking for a reading light," the piranha demon said to himself.

"Say, aren't you the princess's little guppy?" asked a mysterious voice from the seat behind Augie.

"Who wants to know?" Augie responded, not even looking up.

"VOX, that's who." The figure introduced himself as he flashed one of his red, swirling eyes at Augie.

Augie didn't even flinch as he glanced up. "Oh, yeah, I know you…the asshole on TV, who is a TV," he responded dryly. "Whadda YOU want?"

"Just to have a friendly little chat, is all," VOX explained as he moved to the seat next to Augie.

"...fine, floor's all yours," replied Augie. "Speak up."

"A little birdy told me that you used to work for the head honcho of hell." the television mogul said.

Augie's glare hardened. "Maybe I did," he responded. "But that time's long over."

"Maybe, but you've still got those connections." VOX replied. "And because of that, you're useful to me."

"Is that right, then…?" Augie raised a brow.

"Yep! You really should feel honored, ya know." the sentient television said. "I mean, I don't seek out just anyone, considering my status as one of the biggest names in the telecommunications sector."

"Well, pardon me if I'm not all choked-up with excitement," Augie responded dryly.

"But I'm getting ahead of myself." VOX said while tenting his hands. "Let's just cut to the chase here. I have a proposition for you."

Augie raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "And what would that be?"

"It's really nothing complicated," VOX elaborated. "All you have to do is join my team, 'The Vees' and use your connections to extend our reach to the rest of the pentagram."

"And just what do I get outta this little 'proposition' of yours?" the piranha demon asked.

"In return, I'll use my connections to make your hotel a little more appealing to the mainstream audience," VOX continued. "That way you can redeem all of the sinners you want, and not have to worry about a thing."

"What's to say you'd keep your end of the deal?" asked Augie. "I mean, for all I know, once you've gotten what you wanted, you and your pals could just cut me loose and decide to NOT pay me back."

"I give you my word as a fellow businessman," the television mogul falsely vowed.

Augie gave an aside glance. "Why is it that I just don't believe him?" he muttered under his breath.

"So, what do ya say? It's not like you have that much to lose, anyway," VOX smiled.

"Well, I'm sorry," responded Augie. "But I'm afraid I'll hafta turn down your generous offer."

"Huh?"

"I'm saying 'no thanks'," Augie replied. "I imagine nobody's ever turned ya down before, yeah?"

"No, you're the first," VOX said through clenched teeth.

"Hey, lookit me—a regular trailblazer!" Augie remarked.

"Listen here, you little—" VOX started before regaining his composure; he didn't want to cause a malfunction again. "What I mean to say is, you really should reconsider your decision."

"I think I've done enough considering," said Augie, before the bus came to a stop. "...and wouldn't you know it, this just so happens to be my stop! We must continue this conversation again sometime, really."

And he climbed out of his seat and headed to the front of the bus.

"Shit!" VOX silently exclaimed before turning on his wrist communicator. "Vel, it's VOX."

"He gave you the runaround, didn't he?" the fashionista asked while buffing her nails.

VOX sighed. "...yeah," he responded. "And he might be heading your way. What've YOU got planned?"

"Don't you worry. I know just the thing to sway his opinion." Velvette reassured her business partner.

"Yeah? How?" the sentient TV asked.

"I have my ways, VOX," responded Velvette smugly.

"Alright, I guess we'll see," said VOX.

"Yes, we will. Velvette out." the fashionista said before ending the call.

Meanwhile, Augie was heading to the dry cleaners to pick up his clothes. As long as he was out, he needed to be prepared in case of any formal events.

Suddenly, a suspicious-looking figure in a double-breasted peacoat began following him on the crosswalk.

As his back fin stood on end, Augie began to move a little faster down the crosswalk. Come on…dry cleaners should be around here somewhere…

"I've got you now, ya little minnow. Hook, line and sin—" Vel said to herself, before nearly being trampled by a crowd of news reporters.

"Velvette, what are you doing down in the seaside district?" one reporter asked while holding a microphone up to her mouth.

"No comment, alright? I'm very, very busy." Velvette responded while trying to get by.

"Oh, come now, surely you can spare a few minutes?" asked another reporter, shoving their microphone to her ear.

"Absolutely not," said Velvette. "And if you call me Shirley again, I'll give you a colonoscopy with that thing!"

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: We apologize for the use of a joke that's probably older than dust.]

Augie saw the whole thing going down from a distance. So THAT's who it is, eh? He thought as he scurried off to the dry cleaners.

Sick of the unwanted attention, Velvette was getting more and more frustrated. "Right—that's enough of this!" she declared as she darted off in the other direction and vaulted over a fence that led into an alleyway.

As the crowd scurried off after her, she kept moving, darting between alleyways before she got to the corner.

A little later at the Laundromat, Augie was sitting down while reading the daily comic strips in his newspaper.

"They might be in eternal torment, but that doesn't mean they can't make us laugh," he smirked to himself.

Velvette was sitting a few seats down from him. "Oi! D'you always carry the funny papers with you?" she asked.

"Only if I'm gonna take a while," Augie responded. "...okay, let's cut the formalities. You're with those V guys, aren't ya?"

"You're pretty quick on the uptake, aren't ya?" the fashionista observed as she moved closer and sat down next to Augie. "And to answer ya question from before, yes, I am one of the Vees. Velette, to be exact."

"Thrilled to meet you," Augie responded. "So whaddo you want?"

"I've come to discuss something with you." Velvette answered. "It's been brought to my attention that you refused a rather generous offer from one of my colleagues."

"As a matter of fact, I did," replied Augie. "Just didn't really interest me. Plus the fact that your colleague is a double-dealin' sleaze bucket didn't help his case, either."

"Well, you're right about the sleazy part." she responded. "But this is hell, darlin', not the Elysian Fields."

"Regardless, I know I can trust that guy about as far as I can throw him," Augie said. "You all seem like the types to get what you want from someone, then toss them out like a burger wrapper…which makes me think, I should get burgers on the way home."

"You should also know that we practically have all forms of media in the palms of our hands, and it's not exactly wise to trifle with us," Velvette informed Augie. "So you might as well make it easy on yourself and switch sides."

"I don't do the easy way. I didn't get to where I am by takin' the easy way," Augie said calmly as he turned his page. "Even when I worked with th' boss, I had to scratch and scrape for everything I have. I know your type—the cocky young punks who think they got what it takes to dethrone the greats. I've seen it before, way too many times."

Velvette raised her eyebrow in pure bewilderment. No one had ever possessed the audacity to actually refuse an from her or her partners. "Are you takin' the piss?" she asked.

Augie smirked. "Standing up, and from a distance," he replied confidently. "Wouldn't believe how easy it is to make the shot right into the bowl."

"That's it! I'm done bein' polite!" Velvette said as she reached into her ankle holster and pulled out a switchblade, pointing it at the piranha's neck. "Either you change ya mind right now, or I cut you a brand new pair of gills."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you," said Augie, feeling in his right pocket. "Can you speak into my MICROPHONE?" he added, pulling out his Walther P-38 and pressing it under Velvette's chin. "I'll give you a hint where the speakin' part is~"

The fashionista nervously gulped as she dropped the knife. "Are you sure you wanna do that, darling? I'm sure you already know my reputation."

"Oh, I'm plenty familiar," Augie hissed, making sure not to let go of his weapon. "You aren't familiar with the lengths a man will go to in order to ensure a dream becomes real. An' if you pull anything on me again, I'll turn yer innards to graffiti and smear it like finger paint."

"Just know that if you pull that trigger, everyone will notice." Velvette said, her voice quaking slightly.

"Again, I know," responded Augie. "And that's why I won't pull it. First, because you're not worth wastin' a bullet on. And second, next time you come after me, or my niece, or her girl, or anyone affiliated with us, I want you to remember how it felt…being at my mercy, knowing your fate rested in the hands of a 'little fish', and I could've chosen to end it very messily."

"R-right! I'll…keep that in mind," Velvette said as she picked her knife up off the ground and slid the blade back in before holstering it.

"Number 16, your clothes are ready!" the woman at the counter called over the PA system.

"I'll just bet you will," Augie responded, looking up at the speaker. "Now, I'm going to take my dry cleaning and leave."

So he got out of his seat and headed to collect his clothing, leaving Velvette off at the side, astonished by what had just happened…not to mention, the fear she had felt.

"Velvette, come in. Did you get him to join us?" VOX asked via the wrist communicator.

"No, but I reckon scared the living daylights out of him." the fashionista lied. "He was like a quivering mass of jelly."

"Well, it's not much but it's something," responded VOX. "Looks like we'll have to find another way to get into that hotel. In the meantime, get back to HQ."

"Fine," Velvette responded as she got her hat back on and left the laundromat.

Augie, meanwhile, snagged his clothes he'd gotten cleaned, and headed off to find the nearest fast-food place.

…hey, he'd get groceries AFTER! Cross his fins!

"So, THAT'S the one we're trying to get?" asked an accented female voice.

"Yup. Word is he used to work for Lucifer," replied the spy-drone.

"I see…" the female voice replied as its speaker watched Augie from an undisclosed location. "Perhaps this could be FUN…"

And she chuckled wickedly to herself as she kept watching.

[End Credits Song: Your Love by The Outfield]

And that was just a look at the kind of stuff Augie gets up to while he's out running errands. Of course, I hear you wondering, who's that mysterious lady at the end?

Well, it's a brand-new character created by a friend of one of my collaborators. What's her deal? Well...you'll have to stay tuned to further chapters to find out.

Please read and review, and we'll see you around!