A Collection Of Other Adventures
The Ultimate Haunted House
Date: October 5th, 2024
"Are you ready for a scare? Are you prepared to experience a nightmare no mortal should ever wander into?" That's what I was saying in a creepy storyteller crossed with a host costume with fake blood in front of the double doors to Easin Hills Entertainment Park's latest attraction: a truly massive and twisted haunted house called The Slaughter Mansion. The queue is filled with skeletons, heads, tombstones, hearses, abandoned cars, and more. Every couple of minutes, one of these sound effects would be heard: blood curdling screams, cries of agony, pleas for help, evil laughter, monster roars, and the sounds of entire groups being slaughtered. The lamps in the queue were constantly flickering. It was 6:15 PM. This is continued from the 4th chapter of Twisted Land Twists & Terrors. I then added to my statement: "Step forth into this mansion and immediately forfeit the remainder of your lifespan to be cut short at any time. The doors open for you but they will never open again. There is no way out, all that's inside are terrors from far beyond the limits of your worst nightmares. You have one last chance to back out if you wish. There are plenty of mortals who will still go inside. No one is stopping you from running away. Should you or should you not? You're the one who gets to decide your fate. Continue your life or enter the mansion. Your pick. If you want to leave, please use that lane over there. Otherwise, don't move until I tell you to or.. *pulls out fake daggers* we'll have problems. Do you understand?" I open the doors myself and ask the person in front of the line: "How many mortals in your group?"
"Uhh, just one. Are you implying you're not alive?" "I've been dead for over a year. This body should have rotted until only bone remained by now. Go inside and witness your fate that you have chosen for yourself." I would keep doing this until 7 PM after which Bray replaced me and I put on a painter's coat and some pants over my armor after I took that costume off. Oh by the way, if you go around online trying to convince people to commission you for art like some overly dedicated advertiser, you need to stop it and get some help to do better things with your time and internet usage. If you want to keep up with such shady practices, you will not get the business of people like me ever and should be ashamed of yourself. I have been getting DMs on Fanfiction of people trying to solicit me into commissioning them for art for several months. It started out of nowhere. Readers, if you encounter someone like this online, do not buy into what they're selling. They might be stuck up people who think they're better than artists because they can use "AI" trained on plagiarized works of art unethically and hopefully illegally soon as well to generate images that have no sense of creativity, passion, emotion, or imagination inside of them. Or they love directly stealing art that's out there and claiming it as their own. On some missions, myself and others have had to stop some art/so called "AI artist" scammers turned supervillains and they were all pushovers. "AI artists" are trying to take away the very point of art out of all types of art along with other tech bro like individuals. Art isn't meant to be mass produced garbage made by algorithms that are in no way sentient or human. It never was and it never will be.
Back to the story of this night. I will now detail my experience of going through the entire haunted house myself. My ideas and consultation played a role in making this thing exist. It just opened a week ago. I step inside the first room. It is a large living room in a gothic style. It looks ancient and deserted. Dust, cobwebs, and dried blood are everywhere. A ominous voice speaks: "Are all of you mortals inside this living room now? *the doors are closed* Yes you are. Welcome, overly ambitious mortals and welcome to The Slaughter Mansion. Step closer to the fireplace and see some of what's in your very near future now that you have decided to die here today." A projection through the flames shows some agonizing and scary scenes from the other rooms "live". The voice laughs as the projections end: "That is just a taste of what's to come. Do you think The Haunted Mansion is scary or maybe perhaps the once sealed away city of Glast Heim, the Dent Schoolhouse, or the tomb of The Mummy? You will find them tame in comparison to this mansion. Looking dead will not save you. *more laughter* Now watch as the fireplace moves out of the way to allow you comparably safe passage and remember, all of the creatures in this mansion are ALWAYS watching you. Your souls belong to this house already, your lives are just going to be played with as you all get closer to your untimely demise at the hands of this mansion." The next room was some kind of twisted lab full of ghosts, aliens, and zombified scientists and test subjects.
It's large. There was a lot to see. As the person in front of the others in the group I ended up in, I was the first target of the scare actors. I saw test tubes on 2 sides of me when one of them had knocking come from it with a person screaming for help from the inside before a xenomorph like alien tried to jump scare me. I wasn't jump scared even once during the whole experience but that doesn't mean it was very creepy and well done. I stayed quiet the entire time but there was a lot of noise still going on. I just kept walking without stopping for very long at all. As I kept going, the lab looked even worse. The examination tables were covered in fake blood and guts with zombies poking out of holes into them as projections of ghosts wandered the lab while wailing loudly. Some scientists were still alive and being dragged into test tubes or testing chambers by some of the zombies. Broken beakers were all over the place. An entire shelf of books for research documentation was knocked to the ground. And the lighting went in and out. In and out. As it did all over the rest of the mansion with so many rooms I forgot how many there are and it would be a bit of a task to mentally visualize and count them one by one in my head. How I'm describing it doesn't depict it fully in its true terrifying might. It is so much more frightening than how I've been describing it so far. There's even large busted alien eggs that have infested part of the lab. And another is trying to hatch while displaying demon like eyes on its shell. There's also radiation leaking from the ceiling. But of course, it's not actually real. It's just dyed water.
But I was so immersed in the haunted house that I forgot about the fact that none of it is actually real. That usually happens when I go through any haunted houses so this is nothing new. The transition to the 3rd room was seamless as all transitions were designed to be. It was a hallway with confusing mirrors that almost turned it into a mirror maze. All the doors ruined the illusion. They constantly opened and closed with some well programmed animatronics along with scare actors engaging in chases or trying to scare all of us. Demonic screams and moans were heard as we crossed the hallway. All of the furniture was possessed and covered in fresh bloody fake bones. The chandeliers looked like they could fall at any time. And then, a chainsaw murderer came in and chased us out of the hallway and into a dining room where diners were actively assassinating each other as well as scaring us while monsters dropped down onto the center of the dining room table like in the haunted house Stampy built many years ago in his Lovely World but with much more interaction. As we got closer to the table, some of the food appeared to come alive, morphing into creepy faces that scream or say very disturbing things. A piano in a corner of the room played but was operated by someone who lost more and more body parts due to playing it. This haunted house was set to those 18 and over, far too gruesome for children for certain. Some of the scare actors got very close and personal with us, threatening to eat us alive by feigning positioning their utensils at us.
Newly severed heads were presented to some of the diners on rusted silver platters that were also covered in blood stains. A ominous melody has persisted since the fireplace opened up and would continue to do so throughout the entire haunted house. In addition, a cooked alive body was tossed onto the dining room table covered in seasoning. Suddenly, the lights in the room all go out as the voice speaks again: "Oh, did I forget to mention something very important? Soon, you will be entering your coffins and you will all die inside of them! Don't worry about picking your caskets, we have already picked them out for you! *laughs*" The lights turn back on. That's right. This isn't just a haunted house. This is part walkthrough but also mostly a dark ride. The doors to the most room open by themselves while chaos continues in the dining room we'll still going through. And before our eyes, some of the diners appear to be eating the freshly cooked body. That's when a butler comes over to us, screams at us, and exclaims: "If you do not wish to become their next meal, I suggest you move to the next room and get inside your coffins as soon as you can! You did choose to enter this mansion so you have to abide what we want you to do if you want to cling onto your pathetic lives even for just a little bit longer!" We pass through the kitchen as well on the way to the next room. Inside the kitchen, someone is trying to escape the oven but is failing and on fire. The cabinets were open and full of raw materials obtained from recently killed victims. The fridge was open, showing all kinds of disturbing substances.
And of course, like in every room before and after it, the floor was full of blood and bodies. And butchers were there to try to scare us. "Fresh meat! Oooo! Smells tasty!" "Hey you there, you look absolutely devourable!" The next room turned out to be something even more gruesome. A giant funeral home mixed with the layout of a ballroom. A line of coffin vehicles were waiting for us at the opposite end of the room. But that wasn't the only thing that was disturbing them. Skeletons were hanging from chandeliers, headless bodies were pinned to the walls, blood dripped from the ceiling. A full on organ was in a large portion of the room. Its player was using cut off fingers to play the keys of the organ while a dreadful song was sung. A mix of a funeral song with something Chucky or Pennywise would sing. And there were demons dancing with their joints looking agonizing when they moved around in time with the music. A massive mounted head on one of the walls was doing the singing. And of course, the jump scares only continued even as we entered the coffin dark ride vehicles. The coffins had designs like that of the coffins vampires are usually known for sleeping in but with a twist of elements straight from an iron maiden execution device. Above the loading area, chains also hung from the ceiling. And what I couldn't see before now behind the vehicles as we prepared to depart was a table of gruesome desserts that no living person should ever touch much less eat. And we soon entered the next room while funeral music played in the on vehicle audio.
That room was made to look like a deeply disturbing version of a funeral burial but without the lowering into the dirt pit. Instead, it was as if we were being buried alive and being sent away to another dimension by being buried in such a way as nightmarish creatures looked on and laughed at us or jump scared us. It would only get worse from there. The following room was a museum of strange things from all kinds of places. Haunted medieval armor screamed at us and pretended to off someone's head cleanly off with their longsword. The walls were made of rotting wood. The ceiling looked like it belonged in an old abandoned shed with modern flickering lights. And on some of the displays, melting heads acted like candles to light a small area around them. A spell book came to life, summoning creatures of all kinds to try to scare each and every one of us. A rusted futuristic mech had an alien parasite latched onto it as well as the skull of a horned demon clearly visible inside of it. A treasure chest came to life, showing that it was actually a vicious and hungry looking mimic. A droid attacked us with glaring red eyes. All kinds of artifacts and strange items came to life to do deeply creepy things. So much happened in a very short time inside that room. When we finally left it behind, we entered a garden filled with hungry and twisted plants. Knife wielding serial killers appeared in it as well just as the music began to grow more and more disturbing, incorporating elements inspired by Alien's music, Discs 11 and 13(Minecraft), IT, Evil Dead, the intro to the Haunted Mansion with the ghost host, and much more.
Werewolf gardeners tended the gardens by killing the plants only to merge with them and go into the ground. Trapped souls gathered around the lamps inside the garden. Green monsters and other strange things were also present as well as run down farm elements including living scarecrows with blood all over them and mutated farmers. And doors just constantly kept opening and closing as victims walked through them only to turn up dead seconds later. The garden soon led into a bathroom. The toilet was clogged by a tentacle creature that hid inside and killed anyone who tried to use said toilet before eating them. The sink had a xenomorph like creature above it on the ceiling while strange saliva from it kept dripping down. And the soap was alive and taunting all of us with all kinds of disturbing statements. It only got worse from there. The bathtub was the sight of people burning alive as it was actually filled with lava instead of hot or warm water. The shower wasn't any better. It didn't unleash water, it unleashed lethal poison, causing its users to pile up onto the shower floor again and again. And what about the cabinets? Well, all they did was have blood rush through them onto the bathroom floor which was full of blood and bodies already. It also looked very aged and eroded. And from there, we entered what looked to be an indoor chapel. It looked normal enough by the standards of Christians. Until God appeared, merged with a demon and spoke while killing every chapelgoer as well as the priest and other clergy.
"I am the God these worthless beings worship. They are my creations to do my biding and provide me with pleasure and nourishment by giving their lives to me. It has become time for me to harvest them now that they've become ripe as guests of this mansion. I do hate sinners including the gays. They are abominations. What about Satan? He is nothing more than a scapegoat to keep these foolish mortals distracted from their real boogeyman: me." I do not believe the God Christians worship is evil but this version was designed to be a twisted inversion like the depiction of God spouted about by Christian fascists. The version of God they believe in is controlling, hateful, and evil, going against much of what the Bible contains. This is the kind of God the far right wants everyone else to fear. Including what the Republicans want people to fear. But then, this God that we see before us is torn apart and eaten alive by a bunch of creatures. A diseaster bunny exclaims: "We just killed God because he wouldn't have saved any of you for the rest of us! *laughs*" But then, they all ran off, leaving behind lots of blood and bones in their wake. The chapel was now disturbing looking as we began to slowly leave it behind for a home theater. Except the movie being played was killing its viewers inside the theater. Monsters from it went through the screen to slaughter viewers without mercy. The popcorn that was being eaten was also literally putting nerve gas inside any who ate even just a single one.
The seats of the room are made out of fresh wet hair. The floor is made up by skin. And the walls are bone. A clock on one of those walls ticked ominously. Some kind of huge hand moved throughout the walls, looking for someone to crush the bones of. For a few seconds, it felt like we were now about to escape the house until the next door opened for the room we were now about to enter. Inside was a torture chamber of many torture devices being used at the same time. The electric chair and other electrical things such as the ones used in so called "conversion therapy" by homophobic people. Old style criminal displaying wooden cuffs. Nailing or hanging sensitive body parts to things. Cast iron branding. You name it. Each one was worse than the last. And those performing the torture were all dressed up like the Spanish Inquisition. After we saw all of that, we went into a food cellar where all of the food was unsafe to eat and didn't even look like food anymore. Some people were seen eating it anyone and dying of food poisoning or hunger due to throwing up. Rats scurried all over the place along with house spiders, flies, centipedes, and other creepy crawlies. And can't forget the other flies that gathered around decomposing bodies along with various scavengers. There were also a swarm of angry bees as well as swarms of others such as angry wasps and yellow jackets. Their hives were all smashed to the ground. And there were also barrels of highly radioactive waste. The transitions from all of that to an art studio was somewhat off putting. Inside the art studio, things were really strange and horrifying.
Bodies were molded around like clay by ogres, orcs, and goblins. Meat sauce was used to paint murals with bone brushes. There was leather instead of paper to paint on. A massive printing constantly printed out inky horrors that ran off and came back to drag in fresh bodies into the studio. It also printed out deadly weapons. A 3D printer next to it only made things much worse. Eyeballs kept being printed before floating into the air and unleashing eyelasers on things. Aliens designed digital art that physically affected trapped beings trying to escape printed out pictures to no avail. Drawings came to life by the hands of human like demons and ate their creators alive. Hand washing stations were scaldingly hot. And mosaics were being made out of freshly obtained organic materials. The studio itself looked incredibly off on its own even as we left it behind for the video gaming room. Some of the arcade machines were eating players alive. Others were killing them in brutal ways. Others still turned into monsters outright. Electricity was sparkling all over the room. The VR simulators were smoking as digital nightmares escaped through them. It all fed into a master bedroom where things were worse than anywhere else so far. The whole room was in disarray, almost deliberately so. The sheets were torn but also alive and eating any creature that got too close. The pillows had the skeleton of the dead former owner of the mansion clear trapped between them and partly inside of them. The ceiling was a collection of brutally cut into bodies in gorey detail.
The floor was made out of severed fingers alongside lots of disgusting looking dead skin cells. The walls? They were made from tongues. And the paintings on the walls were alive and looked ready to kill innocent people. The only light inside was due to some of the bodies in the ceiling being set on fire. The dresser was in bad shape with heads all over it. The room's windows were frozen over completely, leaving behind disturbing messages in the ice intact. The curtains for the fancy bed were covered in spinal fluid(not really, more like vegetable oil). Also on the bed was another skeleton entirely with clothes still on it. And a million other things were inside the room. It was too much and that's why there's so many warnings before the doors to the mansion open wide. I'm talking far more than just verbal warnings. The next room was full of strobe lights to mess with our perceptions of time. In that room was also another hallway full of all kinds of nightmares such as phantoms and lost children being killed and screaming out. Screams, cries for help, and laughter were heard once every 4 seconds on average inside of this entire mansion. It just kept on going right into a mysterious crypt where ancient beings emerged to be also terrifying. The house went on for several more rooms before climaxing in the basement which was a fusion of a modern and medieval one with hints of a crashed spaceship or UFO. Unmoving emotionless bodies were being put in a washing machine or hung out to dry. That was before everything came together at once in too much detail for me to fully comprehend or write about. It really was beyond terrifying in there. Demonic rituals, holy angels eating people, aliens, all other kinds of horrifying creatures, serial killing, and so much more happened over the span of just 45 seconds before our eyes.
Even I was disturbed deeply and I've become quite desensitized to violence and death. But then, we came to a scene where we supposedly died and exited through a room designed to look like a gateway to a spirit realm is located in it only for the voice to say: "Welcome to life after death! Prepare for eternal torment! *laughter*" On the way out through the exit path, there was a large creepy sign that read: "This dark ride is an exaggeration to an extent of what those in power in fascist capitalist societies want those they rule over to suffer all of their lives. Never trust a billionaire or the head of a hierarchy without great caution or never trust them at all." It took 30 minutes to go through the entire dark ride. I then met back up with the others. Bray spoke first: "We only have a couple of hours left until we have to part ways to do what we must do." My knight charming nods: "Yes. It is what we have to do. I will return to my duties pretending to be part of Nacirema's Imperial Court through the act of pretending to be who I'm not." I sigh: "This conflict is making us work even harder than the last conflicts. At least this new dark ride is being enjoyed by those who can handle it. Not many can so props to those who can. I don't know what to do until I have to play the role of a hired assassin again to be honest." That's when I get a message and read it: "I know what to do until it's time. It looks like the plan to be involved in the entire theme park industry of an alternate Earth was just finished.
On that Earth, the likes of Disney, Universal, Six Flags merged with Cedar Fair, and Merlin Entertainments have all been restructured to become worker owned and now, it's time to begin proposing to them what we can do to improve their parks. That alternate timeline was a doomed timeline some of our comrades found and we're going to save it from human caused apocalypse through theme and amusement parks as absurd as that sounds. I hope y'all consider joining me. I plan on presenting all of my major ideas for parks I know well ASAP. Theme parks are a massive cultural thing in many versions of Earth especially in North America, the UK, Central Europe, Japan, and China." Some of the others decide to stay at this park(Easin Hills Entertainment Park) we're in to ride things while the rest of us go to an also restructured IAAPA Expo. The event itself hasn't been changed that drastically given that ride manufacturers have also become worker owned and most of the exhibits that were planned still happen along with some new ones brought about by becoming worker owned. But it has been rescheduled to well after announcements at D23 or from the merged Cedar Fair & Six Flags about upcoming attractions such as Cedar Point's announced tilt coaster Siren's Curse, Kings Island's racing water coaster, or the Monsters Inc land for Hollywood Studios. Actually, nevermind. It's been rescheduled to just be about 2 weeks earlier than planned instead of October 17th with some of our comrades making sure that didn't mess much up.
And by some, I mean mostly those from Amagi Brilliant Park who aren't exactly also one big fighting force as well as some from Twisted Land. That being said, IAAPA did have a big schedule change with an extra day placed before the other days. And that day was today except October 5th 2024 in that world for some reason happens to fall on a Wednesday instead of a Saturday. And the extra day was going to be where a whole day long idea share was held with plans to hold various events a month later to share how plans for parks and manufacturers end up changing through all of the idea sharing held in multiple rooms at once, allowing lots of creative brainstorming to occur like never before but only those invited could share their ideas. Letting just any member of the public suggest ideas for for Disney for example could cause a lot of problems. There's a reason why Disney doesn't accept ideas from the public. Millions and millions of fans means a lot of people have ideas for their parks they want to share, far too many to handle or process properly. Through some discussions, the newly overhauled board for IAAPA's organization agreed to let me be among many to share ideas. I showed them stuff from the Wicked Parks Resort to convince them since up until then, I was a nobody in the world of amusement and theme parks and roller coasters in that version of Earth. Anyway, let's skip to the part where I got to share my ideas for parks I know well at the expo in Orlando. "Okay. It's my turn. This armor I wear isn't cosplay. It's real as something I wear all the time. I'm Swiftdrawer, a dark knight as well as the creator of the Wicked Parks Resort in a Minecraft world which has over 100 roller coasters and 25 hours of things to do overall.
I also have been on 150 or so real life roller coasters, spending hundreds of hours inside theme and amusement parks especially Kings Island. I've also been to parks in other worlds such as Amagi Brilliant Park and the park in Jimmy Neutron during a random trip. Top Thrill Dragster, The Beast, Adventure Express, The Voyage, Thunderbird, Fury 325, Flight Of Fear, Millennium Force, Magnum XL 200, X2, Ninja, Twisted Colossus, New Texas Giant, Iron Rattler, GhostRider, Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, Expedition Everest, The Incredible Hulk, Dueling Dragons, Revenge Of The Mummy, Banshee, The Racer, Firehawk, Tatsu, and Mr. Freeze's Reverse Blast are some of the coasters I've been on. I've also been on a lot of dark rides like Boo Blasters, The Adventures Of Spider-Man, Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, Voyage To The Iron Reef, and ET. So with that said, here are my ideas on how to improve parks I've been to with a focus on rides and areas. Kings Island: make Camp Snoopy take over the rest of Planet Snoopy, retheme Soak City into a water park with several themed areas or change the river theme for the area to be redone due to the coming water coasters to match a full water park retheme to a new cohesive theme. They need to stop making new themed areas. It was fine with Adventure Port, Area 72, and Camp Snoopy but come on, it has to stop. Bring back Wolf Pack and other Halloween Haunt houses where able to as well as come up with new ones and consider expanding it to Soak City with 2 or 3 outdoor mazes behind Tropical Plunge and between Splash Landing and Island Smokehouse with a 3rd elsewhere if possible.
Move the kiddie Halloween stuff back to Soak City and bring back the things that were left behind after 2019 for it and just make it even more fun than ever before for all ages. Consider a haunted house for the picnic grove area. Make Halloween Haunt scarier again and bring back horror movie music such as the main Nightmare On Elm Street theme for speakers leading to the park entrance. Bring the clowns back to Planet Snoopy or put in a new scare zone over there and make Boo Blasters creepier during Haunt. That whole area is basically dead during haunt. Bring back Shipwrecked and merged it with Hooked because they're both awesome and of the same theme. Move Pumpkin Eater to its original spot. Add more scare zones. Turn Boo Blasters into a new Phantom Theater based on the original as well as the Phantom Theater Encore show. It could be called Return Of The Phantom Theater or something! Do more about smoking in the park. Bring back Blood Drums and Hot Blooded. Give Viking Fury some more theming. It has an awesome name but there isn't much space that it takes up so more theming is kind of hard to add to it. A couple statues of vikings would be enough I feel. Start selling original pretzels even better than Auntie Anne's pretzels. Just up the culinary game in general and stop cutting the portions. One of the main reasons people come to parks is funnily enough, to just eat something! Bring back the cheese for the LaRosa's breadsticks. They're great as they are but bring back that cheese. And more garlic butter on them might be beneficial.
Improve the blue ice cream if that's even possible. Not a big fan of blueberry stuff myself but that blue ice cream is both iconic and good. Start using the Timberwolf Amphitheater more often. Like come on, it's a big theater just sitting there. Using it more would bring in a significant attendance boost for Kings Island. Unless the plan is to build a new coaster over there. Whichever is more beneficial should be gone through with. Invertigo is going to be gone by the end of this decade. It's gotten really rough just the past few years alone so put another compact coaster or flat ride where it is. Replace Congo Falls with a more exciting water attraction. It's great and all but it is just a long lift, 2 turns, and then, a big drop with a hump in the middle of it. It can be a super soaker but still. Have more shows year round. Bring back the original Tinker's Toy Factory or make a new version from the best of the 2 versions. Make an actual Santa's meet & greet somewhere during Winterfest. If Boo Blasters isn't open for Winterfest, open it for Winterfest. I can't remember if they had it open last Winterfest or not. Lower the prices on food where possible. Build more new water slides for Soak City or do something about the roughness of the oldest ones. Expand Soak City behind Tropical Plunge with a new slide complex and maybe restaurant. And that appears to be it. Now Cedar Point. Add a new water ride where possible. Haven't been there in 8 years so I can't say much on how Cedar Point should change. But of course, I will still say to keep persisting with fixing Top Thrill 2. It has turned out to be a huge mistake from what I hear so far.
It's having problems like that one RMC launched wooden coaster that had to be RMC'd as the saying goes itself to be fixed with steel track did. Knott's Berry Farm: I don't know if operations are still slow there but if they are, they need to be fixed by making the lives of their workers a lot better. They need to feel excited to be working at Knott's. I can't really say much else for how Knott's should change either. Same with Carowinds though they can come up with a better name than Thunder Striker for that awesome hyper coaster originally known as Intimidator. They could tie it in with Nighthawk or something. And of course, they need a new water ride somewhere if possible. Oh yeah and they can do better than the breadsticks they sell at Harmony Hall if they still have those things. Those things are good and long but they're real cheap. Six Flags Magic Mountain: I got nothing much on it either. Just get rid of the ads everywhere if they're still doing that. It's the only place I've been on a roller coaster with literal advertisements on its cars. Talk about shameless. Fix the stinky feet smell in Batman: The Ride's station if it hasn't been dealt with yet. It reeked in there the first time I went on it 9 years ago. And because Green Lantern: First Flight is gone, I have no more ideas for SFMM to share. That coaster was awful, I went on it once in 2015. And I have nothing for the other Six Flags parks I've visited. Same with Legoland California, Fun Spot Orlando, Busch Gardens Tampa Bay, and SeaWorld San Diego. Legoland Florida: expansion if possible. They didn't need to gut the Chima area that opened after the last time I was there. Bring back some previous areas and put in some truly awesome attractions themed to Chima, Ninjago, and more. Bring back Island In The Sky or put in a different kind of observation ride if there isn't one already.
Legoland Florida has an unusual history. It replaced another park, Cyprus Gardens and isn't seen as a premiere Florida theme park. SeaWorld Orlando: I don't have much. Just make sure to keep going with treating the animals better and turning away from having orcas around. The company no longer captures orcas for their parks so that's good. They're finally on a good trajectory. Universal Hollywood: expand the property if possible because they just keep demolishing rides and soundstages every few years. I mean, the theme park grew inside of the movie studio but still. I'd like them to give space to add in more things like we see at Universal Orlando. And.. HOT TAKE for so many reasons but replace Harry Potter World. Find ways to repurpose the attractions. Or better yet, don't do that, alter the storyline to an extent like scrap the goblins and give JK Rowling some shade because of her transphobia. Easier said than done redoing or replacing Harry Potter at any Universal park it exists because of how the contract with Rowling and Warner Brothers is. Its popularity and success makes it almost untouchable which is messed up because JK Rowling created Harry Potter and she has contributed to the trans moral panic around the world and continues to do so. I love Harry Potter in general but I haven't been able to stomach supporting it in 3 years so I don't call myself a fan anymore and left Harry Potter fandom. Then there's the anti semitism that's baked into it which is why I said scrap the goblins and by that, I also meant in Diagon Alley in Universal Orlando. When JK Rowling bites the dust of likely natural causes, things might change for my severed relationship to Harry Potter fandom.
Other than that, I don't see anything else to say about Universal Hollywood. Universal Orlando? Get rid of Fast And Furious Supercharge. Bring back Disaster in a new form. Bring back Twister and Jaws somehow. Get rid of Jimmy Fallon's ride. It's fun but we don't need celebrity themed rides in the world. I despise celebrity culture due to the harm it's causing and how it's messing people up with all these parasocial relationships and such. Also, Twister was better. Jimmy Fallon is what replaced Twister. That's a bit of a hot take too. The Jimmy Fallon ride fits perfectly in that area of Universal Florida but it's not iconic or anything. It's a simulator ride with a screen. What about Villain Con Minion Blast? I don't know because I've never been on it yet. It's an odd one given that it's a walkthrough with the way it is. So I guess either make it more in line with a Universal quality attraction? Okay.. What about that stage that was for Fear Factor Live? Either put in a new show in it, bring that back, or build something new there. Like I don't know if there's enough space behind it for this as well but revive Jaws there maybe? Epic Universe will likely end the decade of ride removal after ride removal for good since it gives a lot more room for Universal's creatives to work with without gutting more awesome rides. And now, there's a vacant space where an iconic but underrated show was at Islands Of Adventure. I have no ideas for what they could put there but they need to put something there, maybe something ancient or mythical themed as well like the show was. But that's all I can think of for IOA. Volcano Bay: nothing. It's the best water park I've been to followed by Splashin Safari. So let's talk about Holiday World since I brought its water park up.
There should be something added to the Thanksgiving area that talks about the problems that pilgrims and other colonizers have caused for indigenous people in the eastern US. You can't have Thanksgiving without literally celebrating something tied to the mistreatment of indigenous people. If the area is to continue existing, that must be done now that the theme park world has drastically changed forever in this world. They should have indigenous people representing their nations in Holiday World if Thanksgiving is to remain as a themed area. What else? The patriotic theme of the 4th Of July area bothers me but I still had fun riding things in it regardless. It could be rethemed to Easter or they could do something similar to what I just proposed for the Thanksgiving area. In the end, Holiday World is still amazing in so many ways. Their food is the bomb. They have free drinks. Their coasters are world class. Their water park is stunning. Their ride collection is solid. And they have such cute plushies for sale! I got a horse plushie there and I'm so happy I did! Stricker's Grove: open more days in the year PLEASE. And expand and add more rides also PLEASE! And expand food offerings! It's such a charming little park but I want to see more added to it. It has some pretty rare flat rides even. Tip Top for example. Oh yeah and here's a little more on Kings Island because I forgot about the Vortex plot. Please build an amazing coaster there that will also be iconic. I don't know what kind I want exactly but I definitely do not want it to become just an extension to The Beast along with The Beast being converted into a steel hybrid.
I want a fresh new coaster and The Beast is a very special wooden coaster that literally roars along the track. Just future retracking will do The Beast good. It doesn't need RMC treatment. It does not. And of course, no 2nd Son Of Beast. That's just asking for bad branding as others have stated online recently. What I want to go where Vortex was for 32 years is a large coaster that fills up the space very nicely and is tall, fast, and thrilling. Preferably with inversions because soon enough, there's only going to be 2 coasters with inversions left at Kings Island once Invertigo gets removed. S & S, Intamin, and Vekoma have been making awesome coasters lately. And Premiere Rides is still doing good from what I hear. They've made some of the greatest launched coasters of all time. It'd be interesting if Kings Island went for a S & S axis coaster though I don't see that ever happening. It's like Kings Island has been building up for something big starting with adding Adventure Port last year. Also, I'd love to see a horror retheme of Action Zone. Someone online talked about that working out due to Banshee and The Bat and I agree. Few parks have a Halloween or horror themed area. Holiday World is the only park I've been to that has one. It's called Halloween. Now for Disney's California Adventure. The park with an identity crisis and identity that shifted 3 times to what it is today. I can't oppose the Pixar Pier theme they literally were just starting to bring in the last time I was there over 6 years ago. It's too perfect. But at the same time, nothing about it really screams California anymore from what I understand.
They should consider doing something about that but that wouldn't be easy since Pixar films don't exactly take place in California most of the time. It had the California vibe with California Screaming before they rethemed it to the Incredicoaster which was soft opening I think the last time I was there under that new theme. Main entrance area: nothing needs to be changed in my opinion. Cars Land. All good. The first Cars movie eventually focuses on a race in California. My home park may be Kings Island but even I think California Adventure has less California than it did just 7 years ago. I haven't been since 2018 so Avengers Campus is something I've never experienced but based on what I've learned about it, it kind of sloppily ties into the California setting. If that's true, it needs to do a better job at that. They need to expand the storyline to explain why the Avengers have a headquarters in California despite being New York based and why it's so important that they invited people into an important facility. Maybe they could say it's because of Disneyland or Hollywood. That's an option. As for the area that recently got rethemed to the city from Big Hero 6, the retheme is perfect because that city is a fictional city in California. And lastly, the area where Tower Of Terror was before it became Guardians Of The Galaxy: Mission Breakout and the one where the Monsters Inc dark ride is. First, they could bring back Tower Of Terror or I don't even know what else. There's a thematic toughie right there. And the other area? I don't see much that I think should change. I don't recall much from my visits to it so there isn't a lot I can say.
Maybe the Monsters Inc dark ride needs a refurbishment, not sure how I feel on that. Disneyland Park. Space Mountain refurbishment to make it even better. Axe Hyperspace Mountain. Bring back Ghost Galaxy overlay. Fix the PeopleMover. As you all now know, myself and some others have come to this world to help it out. Included in that is the help needed to fix giant complicated issues such as Disneyland's rotting abandoned PeopleMover because it's clear that we should help with that. Now here's something that might be called a hot take but we can provide the technology for this, I assure you. Refurbish Autopia into a far more sci fi experience with the cars turned into what look like small rockets. In my Minecraft theme park resort, a racing go karts style ride called Wormhole Racers was created based on the question of how could Autopia style attractions be improved to become much more sci fi? And it's a huge success and fun ride. Bring Extraterrestrial Alien Encounter to Disneyland and back to the Magic Kingdom or build something where Disneyland's was to be and Disney World's was that fits the space properly and pulls off a futuristic original storyline. More original new attractions as well would be great. Make the future Coco ride include riders in its storyline. We don't need more dark rides with screens or dark rides telling the whole plot of iconic movies like The Little Mermaid. Cancel Avatar Land and find a way to do something against James Cameron who now supports Gen "AI". Get the full memo on him, don't just blindly keep working with him without seeing all of who he is, good and bad. That's another hot take. Until he changes dramatically in a good way, he shouldn't be worked with by anyone. I don't know the full details on what's up with him so I can't say much else without more information.
Keep on just refurbishing rides to make them better. That goes out to all other parks as well. Always strive to do better with the rides. All the rides. What else? Consider vastly changing Star Tours again like in 2010 ish someday if you feel like you could go much further than you have already by retooling one of the best if not the best motion simulators in this entire world. Star Tours is how you do those right and go beyond even that. Alter Astro Orbiter if possible to give more leg room for tall people. I'm tall people. And I believe that's all I got for Disneyland. And I think Tiana's ride is a perfect addition even though I don't know much about its ride experience in part because it's not done yet. Tiana has long deserved an attraction. Magic Kingdom: Stitch replacement as I mentioned. It's about time to. Tomorrowland refurbishment which Id like to see in Disneyland too. Something like Tomorrowland 2055 or even better, Tomorrowland 2095 or 2105. Give Tomorrowland Speedway the same treatment I just suggested for Autopia. Saying this to make my idea more clear. Keep Monsters Inc Laugh Floor but consider adding new scenes but once the Monsters Inc area at Hollywood Studios comes, the show won't exactly belong in Tomorrowland anymore so it might time to bring in something original or themed to Wreck It Ralph or Big Hero 6. I prefer going with something original. Disney needs more original attractions. I have mixed feelings about the end of Rivers Of America and Tom Sawyer Island. So I'll entirely leave it up to others to figure out how to proceed with that instead because I got nothing.
Villains Land should have more rides than just 2 if they can be somehow fit in without getting in the way of what's already planned. Stacking rides on top of each other like I've done multiple times in Twisted Land doesn't work out as well when it's done on any version of Earth for a large number of reasons. Most materials can't float on Earth for one but they can in Minecraft. If I had to pick between Villains Land and Cars stuff for Frontierland, I'd pick Villains Land. It also might be time for a 5th Disney World park where Cars could go or find a way to expand Hollywood Studios somehow. Thematically, a Defunctland would be a nightmare to design the layout of. Because the idea of such a 5th park means including many defunct Disney World attractions that wouldn't exactly fit all together even when split between 3 or 4 areas unless those areas were themed to the parks they came from which would still be really weird. You could get away with using former themed areas though such as Future World and Streets Of America, and the soon to bite the dust, Dinoland USA but that doesn't make much sense in terms of Disney imagineering magic. It's something I'd do for my theme park resort with defunct areas from my Twisted Land theme park but things are different for Disney World. However, they could use the concepts of dead themed areas but reimagine their concepts to fit in better and make something brand new. Sorry about this Defunctland tangent but I can't resist. It would also not be enough to just recreate all the defunct attractions perfectly and there's so many to choose from.
New versions of them would be better. But I honestly believe a Defunctland is not something that should ever be built anytime soon. In an ideal world, they could just expand the 4 parks and use the new space for reimagined defunct attractions but that would also be tricky from a branding perspective as well as Disney immersion and stuff. But there's a lot already around the parks. Back to Magic Kingdom. Or that's how it would go if I could actually think of anything else that should change. More new attractions would be awesome but other than that, I'm out of ideas. Hollywood Studios. Revive the studio tour in a new form if space can be made for it merged with the current vision of the park that began with the end of the studio tour for good. Build something where the Sorcerer's Hat used to be already. Retheme Rock N Roller Coaster to something new. Aerosmith has put out a lot of great songs but it's about time for a change. Something more original in theme and storyline like the Tower Of Terror would work. And while we're at it, I do think the Great Movie Ride needs to come back in a new form, featuring scenes from the original as well as the themed areas of the park to tie it all in more with the park. Again, if there's space that can be made for such. Removing that was even worse than removing the studio tour in my opinion.
EPCOT: This is going to be fun. Spaceship Earth update to include a VR tech scene. Full stop. Transform Journey Into Imagination With Figment into a version that has the length of the original and the best parts of all 3 versions. Reopen the 2nd floor for activities and get rid of the activities in the first floor or move them to bring back the original length of the ride. As someone who was nicknamed the Artistic Knight, I really must emphasize this. The former Wonders Of Life pavilion which is now in a state of stasis with its transformation into the PLAY! Pavilion cancelled. Body Wars and Cranium Command have been allowed to rot in there for years. Let's add some new attractions in it. I don't know what but something needs to go there because those 2 attractions are beloved and very much missed. I'm too young to have been on them myself personally. Now for old Future World as a whole. I'm so mad it's gone. It was great as it was but they axed it. Bring back Innoventions in some form. Restore part of old Future World beyond what's still around from it which is 3 ish huge chunks of it. I hear good things about Journey Of Water but still. Now for Test Track. Please make the ongoing refurbishment have it contain the best from its 2 versions as well as the former World Of Motion ride it replaced and a bunch of new elements. That also means bring back 'the seatbelt check is around the corner' message. It's silly to say this but I miss that.
The original queue was great. What else.. What else.. Bring back Captain EO again or create a new short film to show in that theater regularly. Now for another hot take that's going to 'get villagers to point pitchforks at me'. Bring back Maelstrom in a new form, even if that means replacing Frozen. It would be better to try to find space behind the Norway pavilion for a new Maelstrom. If Frozen has to go, make a new Frozen ride at Hollywood Studios or something. That's what I think anyway. Now onto at last, Animal Kingdom. Get rid of Avatar area for a revived Beastly Kingdom area. That's what I think should happen but it would be more logical to put it in a park expansion if that's even possible considering Avatar's success. And as much as I miss Primeval Whirl and will miss Dinosaur, I have no objections to the area that will replace Dinoland USA. Just keep the store near Dinosaur's interior. Oh and I am biased about this but if there's enough expansion room without messing with the animals in the safari in the park, a wolf themed attraction would rule in a whole new themed area. In my view, wolves are cool, fluffy, beautiful, soft, and cute. One last thing: bring back DisneyQuest somewhere in the resort and make sure it's truly successful this time around. Oh and if T-Rex Cafe is gone, bring it back too. Let me be honest with y'all. Myself and others from other worlds can help all the parks in this world vastly improve. We can even help accelerate construction and demolition projects to superhuman speeds.
We cannot wait to work with y'all more because we're going to help save this world from its own doom through theme parks among other things. I may not end up writing much more about this world but still, I can't wait to learn updates on its progress. Oh btw, we also have plans of helping create more parks worldwide in good locations without disrupting much including in Wyoming given its really low population. Wyoming deserves some love. I have helped design a huge theme park for a location in that state. More details to come later." I talked a bit more before finishing and conversing with others. At the end of the day, I decided to do something very interesting for just a moment in large part for you readers specifically because there's a growing problem that needs to be further addressed and it's happening in the world I'm currently in too. Art scammers including all the ones that have been increasingly contacting me on Fanfiction, one of the sites this writing is posted on by the time you're reading it. Through research, we discovered some of this world's most annoying art scammers including conmen who call themselves "AI artists" to claim that using generative "AI" is a creative process when it's not. Sure, you tell it what you want it to generate for you but that's not very creative. You might as well become a writer instead if you like describing things that much. Gen "AI" gives actual ethical AI a bad name and lots of people aren't buying the con of gen "AI".
It trains off of creative media produced by artists all over the world without giving them credit, compensation, or anything. Some companies behind this cry wolf and claim that they have the right to do this crap when they don't. Gen "AI" is among the latest attempts to suck creativity right out of people, turning into just another meaningless thing without genuine human input, emotion, love, or effort. It's an excuse for people to call themselves artists without making any art and that's unacceptable. Anyone can be an artist as long as they create art themselves without machines making it for them without them putting an effort into such a process. They can't become artists by using generative "AI" and if you disagree with me and are pro-generative "AI", I challenge you to a duel of words. Because you're flat out wrong and you should learn to be and do better because being the kindest versions of ourselves is always something to keep striving for the entirety of our lives. I'm going to find the exact location of an art scammer who acts like a bot on platforms such as Fanfiction and Bluesky and uses generative "AI" as well as steals art posted online and passes it off as their own. And I'm going to make an example of them without using violence. I don't need to use violence to deal with an art scammer. Not with my words and my appearance clad in mostly red plate armor with a look that shows that I'm very much a knight. But I'm not cruel so I'm going to disguise my appearance so I don't give off a massive knightly presence. I teleport straight to the scammer in question. That alone is enough to scare them. They notice me right away, despite emotionlessly performing their scam communications on Fanfiction. "Who are you and how did you get here? Is this a dream?" I'm now disguised as just a painter. They have no idea who I really am. "I am an artist and I am here to talk to you about generative 'AI'. It is not as great as you think it is.
Supporting it goes against core ideals of what it means to be a decent human being who cares for other people and wants to spread joy and true creativity in life." But despite my efforts to talk to them through mostly a kind and calm approach, I couldn't get through them no matter what I said even after I explained how I appeared and attempted to console them out of their shock. I spent a whole 2 hours talking to them but they wouldn't have it. "Very well. I see I can't change you. So let's see what happens when you experience what the artists and art commissioners experience because of people like you. Artist's Eye: Evolution! Send this person into a realistic not over the top nightmare of the scenario I just described! Maybe this is going far but I tried to stir your emotions by describing in detail what such an experience is like earlier but that did nothing for you." They were soon cast into a nightmare. Since I only did that ability on them, an average bad person on Earth, I can still use the ability again today. They cried as they went through the nightmare. They experienced the POV of an artist and art commissioner in full within minutes in the real world. They soon woke up shaking: "What have I done?" "You finally get what I was telling you. If you need a hug, I can give you one. I'm so sorry I had to put you through that. I apologize deeply. But more importantly, to feel better, you must make things right. End your scam, turn against gen "AI", admit your wrongdoings, strive to do better, apologize, and prove that you're on a better path now when it comes to art. After all.. *undoes disguise spell* As a knight, I should know very well know how people like us can do better and make amends with our mistakes."
They were shocked at my reveal and felt the power I hold due to my revealing some of my power level as well. "What.. are you?" "A protector." I spent some more time with them to help them out before taking my leave to fake more assassinations while also putting my Darkwind outfit on to hide my true identity again on the way to the current location of Katherine Glassgate's imperial palace: The Soul Society in Bleach. But as I was heading there, I get stopped by a bunch of cloaked figures in black or gold/white in some cases. One of them speaks to me: "We know where your real allegiance is, Darkwind or should I say, Swiftdrawer? Heretics like you are a blight on reality and we are here to exterminate you as part of the greatest Crusade in recorded history!" I grit my teeth: "How did you figure it out?" "The blessings of God, of course!" Another adds: "And the supremeness of the almighty Satan!" "What the hell is going on now?!" To be continued in Tyranny 2025 chapter 4..