four
wedn. 11 january, 2012
…
Seth
When you see her.
Everything stops.
She's to only one you see.
The world stops, tilts.
Gravity flips.
Spins.
Gravity isn't holding you to Earth anymore.
It's her.
Do anything for her.
Be anything she needs.
A protector.
A brother.
A friend.
A lover.
My imprint.
Rare and scarred.
My soulmate.
Expect, it's stronger than a soulmate connection.
Stronger than true love.
It's still inconceivably shocking she survived them. Fighting those … demons, is nothing like fighting newborn vampires.
Stronger.
More malicious.
More power.
But she did.
Fire the color of my fur, electricity the color of burgundy, speed and strength that matched his. Witnessing her fighting him was like watching a movie expect for having to dodge the destruction of forestry. She had ripped him in half by his throat, and like an ocean wave she was covered in the disgusting scent of thousands of human blood mixed with the demons blood.
Then it was gone, she was washed clean by the heavy downpour. Then those powers were gone, and she crumpled to the floor like a sack of potatoes. That bruise that was forming up on contact of his two foot fist, was gone.
She passed out again, and everything that transpired was like in the downpour from the dark grey clouds with the wind blowing in the trees.
She's asleep by the help of alcohol… once again.
I've been gone too long, always gone too long.
She won't eat.
She barely sleeps. Unless I gathered her in my arms and held her throughout the night.
Every morning it was a brandished knife cutting my chest open to leave her, always fifteen minutes before 5 am I would wake up from Jake's alpha order placed to have us on patrol. This morning was like any other morning, I unwove my body from hers and got ready for patrol. Like every morning she didn't stir awake, this morning, she had.
Her pale, slender hand wrapped around my wrist looking down to see her sitting up fully awake with dark circles and her skin paler than usual. Did she not sleep from her night more a couple hours before?
I don't think she did.
Panic etched her face, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Please don't leave."
This is the first time she spoke since she woke up choking on a supernatural spell in her throat. Her voice was like liquid vanilla, warm but soft, sweet. My wolf within me whimpered at her sadness, her desperation and her panic. I sat back down on the bed trembling from the alpha order at me from deep within my chest.
"I have to," I replied.
Her face broke, tears falling from her chocolate brown eyes, "please don't leave me."
The alpha order had me getting up from the bed and pulling her hands off of my gingerly, "I'm sorry, I won't be gone long. I promise, I'll be there."
My rose, my beautiful rose was wilting right now, and I couldn't stay no matter how much I fought to.
"I'm sorry."
We usually didn't verbally spoke, we've always been different. She might've been Leah's best friend but she was always my best friend. Our connection was different to everyone else's, and I guess that's why it made so much sense that she was my imprint.
Leah was mad the first she brought up the differences of Naomi and Bella all the way back in 2006. She was mad that she seen through my eyes how different Naomi was to anyone and how aligned we've always been.
…
Naomi
I spent the next three hours sitting my father's recliner after Seth left, I watched him jump down from my window and run to the tree line before exploding into that massive sandy wolf. Disappearing.
I will never admit I miss that boy out loud. I will never admit that I'm having feelings, drinking is the only thing that's keeping me sane and away from peni. I've never had it, I would like to keep it that way. For as long as I can, and not to mention that this not the best situation to start anything new.
I didn't touch a liquor bottle, or the almost empty cigarette pack. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe, Seth's absence was leaving me in a zombie state. And also… there's this smell. It's… no.
No.
I was not going back to that place. I was not going to allow that to happen again. The first time killed everything in me more than being tortured for years with no end.
I stared at the fireplace in silence until Mom came down smelling fresh and dressed in a long black dress, Phil right behind her. I stopped breathing through my nose.
"Naomi."
I didn't fight with Mom into the shower, I didn't fight her when she applied light makeup, and sprayed me with perfume she bought me when I came back home. I did argue about my outfit, it was disrespectful to not to wear my uniform. I did however argue again to leave my hair alone, my hair was just brushing against my shoulders and the weather outside just added more fuel to sour mood.
I looked down at my uniform, it definitely wasn't Marine, but I don't think anyone would press me why. Sleek black, the coat was definitely flattering to my… torso I guess.
I felt like a teenager again, stressing about my physical appearance rather than reassuring myself I was okay, that when I looked into the small mirror hanging on the wall. That was beautiful, my albino pale complexion, cheeks are flushed from the heat on way too high for my liking especially with the bills in my name now. Mom was right about my hair today, framed my heart shaped face and my eyes well, weren't so exhausted.
My eyes were wider than usual, I have never been one to apply makeup but today was the only expectation. The one and only expectation.
Typical Olympic Peninsula climate.
"Sweetheart," mom says turning around in the hallway as Phil held open the door. She smiled that self-absorbed smile, "Billy called last night, would you mind getting him, Rachel, Paul and Quil? I told him I would come grab him but… I don't want too."
I was getting sick of my mother.
…
I stopped breathing through my nose with my car full of people, there was this scent radiating off of Rachel. I didn't mean to be rude, but as soon as I was able to get away from them. I took that chance. There were scents everywhere, radiating off every human here. Dad's co-workers, their families, every single one. I wanted a taste.
Flesh.
Flesh.
Flesh.
Flesh.
Flesh!
I stopped breathing through my nose. I focused my senses to other things to keep me occupied.
"I haven't seen a military uniform like that since 1949." An older ladies voice, she wasn't anywhere near me.
"I'm sorry?" Seth.
"Charlie's eldest, her uniform. The infamous black sleek military uniform, I have only seen men wear it. You should have seen the men back then dressed that way, they were quite ravishing. But I do have to admit, it's not a good sign that she's wearing one."
I caught Jacob and Pauls eye as they stood a considerable amount of space away from Seth and the older woman. I glanced at them before her eyes turned back to me, I focused my attention on the food table.
Nothing looked appealing.
"Why?"
"Because… it's the supernatural investigation unit, SIU. You can't join SIU unless you are supernatural and/or have witnessed supernatural events… If she's here, and she's wearing that uniform… it's best to believe that something big is going on in our small town." Her tone was full of despair, fear, worry. "It'll only be a matter of time when she reveals what she is."
Damn it. Nobody is supposed to know about us.
The Quileute packs might be on our radar but they weren't supposed to know. Nobody is supposed to know. No Ghouls, Vampires, Shape-shifters and werewolves alike are supposed to exist. But these shape-shifters, I grew up with most of them. I'll be damned if I let them find out about their existence.
Flesh.
Flesh!
"You know," Seth's voice swept me off my feet, my eyes focused on the tray of so-called pigs in a blanket. Vienna sausages wrapped in croissant dough served with chili or ketchup, pigs in a blankets is ground beef and or pork sausage wrapped in cabbage with seasoned tomato sauce and rice, "it might look good, but it doesn't smell too well."
Seth was a safe haven, bringing back every part of human I had left in me. Human food would have to suffice for now, it would have to suffice forever. I was never going to do that again.
I looked up at him as he stepped closer to wrap an arm around my waist, something he did to get me away from something. Something I have learned over these past fifteen days, I let him lead me away towards the chairs. His arm and hand were scolding hot that sent goosebumps over my skin, his scent was intoxicating, his arm around me felt soo good.
"Naomi?"
Seth and I both turned to the call of my name to our left, I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Bella?"
By mistake I took in a breath through my nose when she threw her arms around me.
"Thank God, you're alive," she sniffled.
FLESH!
I breathed in her scent… floral, sweet flowers with a hint of a beach. I went rigid at the smell of a sickly sweet smell, a sickening perfume
"Bella." The voice was a warning, and female.
I know that voice too.
I met the golden eyes of Alice Cullen. She was so close that I seen my eyes open in hers and flash that disgusting bright red color before going back to dark brown. I scrunched up my nose, and breathed through my mouth and swallowing hard.
I have to take that shot. I will lose control if I don't. If I get close to losing control, I want them to kill me. I met Sam's eyes before looking back at Alice, she knows by the look of recognition and calculation.
I pulled away from Bella, "of course, I'm not going anywhere."
She wiped her eyes, 22 year old Bella Swan, no, Cullen. Bella Cullen, a wife to Edward Cullen, vampires.
"I know that's right."
The pastor began to speak through the microphone beginning the service. I swallowed again, breathing through my mouth to get a hold of my senses.
Alice stepped in close to me once Bella stepped away, "you won't hurt them." Seth's arms tightened around my waist, she glanced at him then back to me.
…
The service was… beautiful to say the least. Burying him was the worst part.
The party went smoothly. The after party however, was a different story.
I didn't take my shot.
…
Mom was beyond thrilled to see Bella, they talked endlessly about traveling. My deepest question was if Bella was still married, she had no ring on her finger and Alice stood over Bella like a guard dog. I kept my distance from the humans, Seth kept his arm wrapped me the whole time and I didn't want him to leave anyways. He was a safe haven in more ways than one. Leah and Jacob were around us a lot, Renee entertained Bella so she wasn't around a lot, Rachel and Emily were on Paul and Sam's arms, Sue, Billy and Harry were a trio themselves.
If it wasn't for Seth's
I felt horrible enough that I was unable to save my father, I didn't need the eternal shame of sinking my tee-.
"Naomi," I turned to Mom sitting down on the couch next to Billy and Bella sitting down next to her, "When are you going to give me grandbabies?"
What the fuck?
Bella eyes went wide and her head snapped in her direction, "Mom!"
Mom blinked innocently at her, Seth snorted, okay I can see why she would say that but there had always been a secret understanding between us. And I can't have kids.
Ever.
One of the worst traumatizing events I never wanted to speak about.
"Where the hell did this come?" I inquired looking up at Seth.
"What an indescribable inquiry." Seth replies while Harry snorts a laugh, he knows.
Renee scowled a bit, "don't be like that. I see how the two of you are, I can only imagine what goes on behind closed doors."
"Mom." Bella pressed.
Harry snickers, "Renee, I don't think you have to worry about anything."
"Are you sure?" Paul tormented with a sly smirk, amused by this interaction where Rachel backhands his chest.
Harry didn't get Paul's teasing tone and looked back at Seth.
I looked at Seth and another silent conversation where we both started smiling crossing my arms as he shoved his hands in his jean pockets.
Seth sighed, it was sigh I knew that he was going to have a hard time trying not to laughing through these responses.
"I mean, Paul is right, we have been doing laundry more."
Alice blinked and started grinning, I sensed she was catching on to the joke, Bella's eyes widened and going red in her cheeks.
"Don't worry, Renee," Seth says his eyes bright with mischief and amusement, "grandbabies are covered."
Seth and I guffawed at the faces on every person in the room.
"I was going to have a heart attack." Harry sighs in relief, Sue sent him a look.
Quil, Paul and Embry looked at each other as Rachel was scrutinizing.
"I wouldn't do it if she pops out a mini Seth," Paul shrugged.
Quil and Embry cackled, "it be a pretty decent kid if it took after Naomi."
Seth stopped laughing, I looked up at him as his face turned offensive, "hey!"
I padded his arm, I went to speak when Mom cut me off.
"That's not funny," Mom crossed her arms and leaned back, settling in for a offensive rebuttal, "its bad enough my daughter is in the Marines, you are going to turn into a nun too?"
"Mom!" Bella snapped, horrified.
"Renee!" Phil said steely, "that is enough. What is with you this week?"
Renee scowled but didn't answer, "so I'm guessing what I saw four night ago in the dining room was just my imagination then."
Or I thought she wasn't going to reply.
Wait, what? What is she talking about? Four nights ago? I don't even remember-
Seth put a hand on my back, and just like I remembered.
"Renee!" Phil warned again, he looked at us, apologetic and shocked. "Enough! What goes on between them is their business, stop speaking in things in company. I told you not to do this."
I felt my face flush with blood, out of embarrassment and the fact that I forgot what happened that night. It was one of the only nights that Seth and I crossed a line that we haven't talked about since that night, I don't know what she saw but I'm still a virgin. That kiss had been intense, earthshakingly intense for me, but I remember we both wanted to, it was clear. I soaked my pants and I felt him through those shorts that was his daily outfit.
He stopped it first, and I remember our lengthy conversation. Lengthily conversation about our conversation and well… I couldn't believe I also forgot telling him drunkenly about my condition well…
Being the first and only flesh eating female Ghoul, normal female Ghouls don't feed, they activate in powers. Me… I was his experiment for a perfect flesh eating Ghoul. So now it made sense that he was attached to my hip at the funeral, if my brain was still hiding things from me I also remember telling him that I'm unable to have babies. I feel sick, this uncovering memories of mine is stressing me out. I also knew that mom was bitter about me wanting to be 'manly', I'm not manly. I can wear dresses, skirts, and participate in nail painting but being in the Military always felt right.
"Renee," Billy spoke up, "Phil is correct. You should be ashamed for speaking private business in mixed company."
Thank God for Billy.
"Thank you for that, Renee," Seth retorts putting his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me to get my feet moving.
Another silent understanding only we know.