Summary: Zim heads to Membrane Labs to chat with Professor Membrane
Author's Note: OMG HELLO AGAIN TO ALL MY AMAZING WONDERFUL READERS _ ! ! I have truly missed you all tremendously! I hope you are all having a great spooky season ! ! I would never abandon this story but I am sorry it has taken so long to get a new chapter posted ! ! Life is lifing haha ! ! XD However, I am so so so incredibly grateful as always to you for coming back to read yet another update of this story , it means the entire Irken Empire to me _ ! ! So , this chapter is told from Zim's perspective with the inclusion of a flashback told in the third person . The title of this chapter comes from the song "Wrapped in Red" by Kelly Clarkson. It's a holiday season song because it is still the holiday season at this point in the story ! ! I chose this lyric as the title for this chapter because it exemplifies that Zim is acknowledging his icky feelings of love are intense and consuming. It represents him risking emotional vulnerability. This song choice represents the idea that we will start seeing a different side of Zim than we have seen before. He is learning to let his guard down and showing a more vulnerable and open version of himself to his human. In this chapter , you can expect violence and a pretty awkward but important conversation between Zim and Professor Membrane ! ! I hope you enjoy this update ! !
I'm Not Afraid to Fall
Earth temperatures are absolutely unacceptable these days. Zim can see my breath as I shove through the annoying crowd of humans, all wearing overinflated clothing and speaking with way too much animation. Thankfully, although I am in my human disguise, Zim chose to wear the recommended coat Dib-Thing gifted me. He calls it a pea coat for some reason. I call it sufficiently warm for this horrid winter weather. He's right about one thing though, the white does look great on me. He's right to worship me so much.
These people are much more comparable to mindless animals gathered around this building all for one reason or another but none more important than mine. At the front door, I'm met with two large human males carrying somewhat complex looking earth weapons. They immediately stop Zim from entering the building, however, this was to be expected.
"Whoa, slow down there, kid."
"Kid-?"
"You have to wait just like everyone else out here if you want an appearance or an autograph." He continues.
"Kid?!"
"What, are you deaf?" The second one asks. My hand closes into a fist and I feel my eye twitch.
"I am here for a private meeting with Professor Membrane." I sneer through gritted teeth, infuriated by the laughter I'm met with.
"Private meeting?" The first guard snorts. "Professor Membrane isn't taking meetings today. So, unless you've got a ticket to one of tonight's events, get out of here." He says, dismissively returning his focus to the bulky black electronic tablet in his hand. I narrow my eyes at him, checking my communicator once again but Membrane hasn't responded to any of my messages today. Zim knows it is always a difficult task, getting a hold of him. But this conversation is not one we could have during one of the scheduled dinner sessions. Not with Dib lurking about.
Something he's been… helping Zim with, is thinking more before I do things. So, I finally step back a bit from the guards and begin to consider my options in this moment. What would Dib-Think suggest? Option A: Murder the Guards. Pros: Zim will gain access to the building. Cons: Drawing too much negative attention by inciting panic from this idiotic crowd of dirty people. Alright. Option B? Hm…
I glance around, observing my surroundings and looking for alternative routes. Annoyingly enough, there are armed guards at every entrance as well as cameras aimed at all the doors. Zim will need to think a bit bigger so I look up, towards the roof. The cameras up there are all focused on the crowd… then I notice black metal railing towards the back of the building. Likely a fire escape which means there's a way to exit the building from the roof, meaning that's how Zim can get in.
The back of Membrane Labs is like a completely different world, secluded from the chaos happening around the front entrances. There isn't much back here aside from the most putrid smelling garbage. The ladder connected to the fire escape looks incredibly old and rusted, not to mention more than ten feet off the ground since it's folded. I gingerly shut the metal lid of the large trash receptacle, checking my own security cameras. Dib is still in my room, fast asleep which is exactly what I was counting on by doing this at ten in the morning. Shaking my head, I take a deep breath and brace my hands against the trash can. Just as I am preparing to hoist myself up, the back door swings open and a guy in uniform walks out with a large black plastic bag. Upon noticing me, he drops it immediately, reaching for whatever he's carrying in his waist belt.
"Stop! Let me see your hands!"
"I'm just standing here." I roll my eyes.
"I said show me your hands!" He insists, finally brandishing what looks like a taser. Zim doesn't know. All I know is that he is an inconvenience.
"You call that funny looking object, a weapon? Do you think it can protect you?" I scoff.
"I am giving you one last chance!"
"Alright, alright." I shrug. Not a second later have I deactivated my disguise, holding my hands up as my PAK legs extend quickly. He looks absolutely horrified but in his confused and distracted haze, I snatch the weapon from him. He turns to run back into the building but the last thing I need is for him to go sounding any alarms so I catch him quickly, a PAK leg wrapped around his ankle, and he falls to the concrete, his forehead colliding with it hard. He turns over, fresh blood dripping down his face as I drag him closer and he attempts to free himself.
"You know…" I grab him by his shirt collar, retracting my PAK legs. "My partner does not like when I hurt humans…" I growl, annoyed as he scratches at my hand. I press his own weapon against his neck and he stops. "But you idiotic pests make it so difficult!" I pull the trigger and a weird blue light is emitted, smoke rising from his skin as he convulses violently. I drop him and the weapon, reactivating my disguise and climbing the trash can before any other inconveniences show up. I'm sure Dib would give Zim a pass. That guy got in my way.
The fire escape only leads to a small corner landing and then I have to use PAK legs to scale window sills up the rest of the monstrous building.
I can feel the tickle starting in my throat as I struggle to catch my breath. This whole endeavor is going to require so much rest and recharging… I definitely need to try not to use my PAK much more for the day.
At the top of the building, I lean against a huge metal pole. Pain starts to radiate in all directions on my back as I rest my hands on my legs. A moment later, I look around the other side and I can see two more guards standing in front of the door. This is all so exhausting… My head is throbbing and my chest is feeling heavy as I'm trying to figure out what to do. Finally, I lean down and pick up some of the gravel I'm standing on, tossing it across the roof. One of the guards looks towards the noise immediately, then says something to the other. I watch closely, waiting for the two of them to move away from the door but only one starts to walk away. I sigh, waiting just a couple more seconds for the first guard to get a bit further away before just walking over to the other. I would laugh at the way he jumps when he notices me if it weren't for how little energy Zim has left.
"You let your partner go off to investigate a strange noise alone?" I ask, irritated, barely even glancing at whatever he holds up and points at me.
It's clear that the guard is completely caught off guard by my question and his eyes flicker nervously towards where his partner had gone. But he tries to keep a straight face and maintain a show of authority, brandishing his weapon at me.
"Stay back…!" he orders, gesturing at me to keep my distance.
Zim can tell that I have the advantage here. This guard is clearly shaken up and more afraid of me than I am of him. I take a slow, deliberate step closer, keeping my expression calm and confident.
"And why should I stay back exactly? You aren't the dangerous one here."
The guard's grip on his weapon tightens and he swallows nervously. He glances away from me for just a moment, as if hoping his partner will appear any second now.
"I…I told you to stay back!" he repeats, his voice faltering a bit. "You're trespassing!"
"Fine. Feel free to escort me off the premises." I suggest, hands up yet again.
As the guard approaches Zim, I manage to muster up enough strength to elbow him in the nose before knocking him out in just a few quick and precise moves. As I stand over the unconscious guard, exhaustion tears at me from the inside, causing my mind to swirl. A moment later, I can hear the sound of footsteps heading towards us.
Immediately, the second security guard appears, holding up his weapon in an attempt to intimidate me. But Zim isn't intimidated. Disappointed is a better term. Why are all earth weapons so boring? Regardless, I easily dodge the guard's attack and land a powerful kick to his stomach. He doubles over, cursing in pain, dropping his so-called weapon in the process.
Zim takes this opportunity to disarm the guard, grabbing his weapon and using it to knock him out with a swift blow to the head. Both security guards lay motionless on the ground, completely unconscious.
I stand there for a moment more, panting heavily and leaning on the confiscated weapon for support. I don't want to acknowledge how much my body is shaking from the effort it took to fight off such measly guards. As long as I am still standing, that's all that matters.
I try my best to snap out of it, moving quickly through the rooftop door, down the steps and towards Membrane's top floor office. Of course just beyond the glass doors is his assistant. No matter. He doesn't look like a guard. Just a regular, scrawny, hairless guy sitting behind a desk. He's sorting through papers and doesn't even look up at me when he speaks.
"Do you have an appointment?" He asks, glancing up at his computer screen, somewhat disinterested.
"No, I-" I start to reply but am interrupted by the startling thud of a thick stack of papers he sets on the counter between us.
"Take these, fill them out, get them notarized and have them back here within 3 days. Once your background check and fingerprints are cleared, we should be able to pencil you in for a virtual meeting in six to eight months. You can opt for an in person meeting but the wait time would be-"
"I'm not filling all this nonsense out! He's just in the next room, there." I say back in exasperation.
"I understand that but this is protocol and we have rules for a reason." He continues monotonously. It's abundantly clear that he's given this same speech a thousand times.
"We literally know each other. Call him out here, yourself, and ask him!" I hiss back.
"Listen kid, I've heard one excuse, I've heard them all. You're a family friend, you're his son, even a long lost cousin- it doesn't matter who you are, everyone has to follow the rules."
"But-"
"Have a wonderful rest of your day, thank you for visiting Membrane Labs." He says quickly once the phone starts to trill. He answers and speaks into the receiver with the same tone of voice, completely dismissing me in a way that's all too familiar…
I huff out an annoyed breath, checking over my home security system. The base is still quiet and inactive but Zim knows that won't last for much longer.
The man hangs up the phone and proceeds as though I'm not there. I glance at the stack of paperwork again and then back at him, clearing my sore throat.
"Computer drone. I need a pen."
He looks up at me slightly confused and I just stare back at him, expectantly until he looks down reaching for a writing utensil.
Reaching out, my palm connects with the back of his head, slamming his face into his keyboard. He only lets out a short surprised shriek while gross human goop starts to leak from his wrinkled nose. As he reaches for it, perhaps to ensure it is still attached to his face, Zim hoists myself onto the desk, grabbing his neck.
Try not to be so aggressive, Dib said.
You don't have to be so violent all the time, Dib said.
This is clearly the only way to ever get anything done around here. Humans are just complete and total nuisances.
Rage and annoyance continue to boil my blood as I think back to how often I've had to experience being dismissed- ignored- treated like Zim is less than… I become fully fixated on choking every last bit of life out of this guy until-
"Zim?"
I freeze at the sound of my name and look up. Dib-Thing's parental unit is standing in his open office doorway, eyebrows up to his hairline watching the scene unfold. I finally release the receptionist guy, dropping him into a wheezing, coughing mess, before I jump town off the desk.
"Professor Membrane." I say back, straightening out my clothes. The look on his face is perplexed for a moment before he heads over to the guy, referring to him as Simmons. For a few seconds, my vision blurs as does my hearing. Like I'm coming back into myself after… whatever that was.
"Zim?" Professor Membrane asks.
"Eh?"
"I said I'll just be a moment, have a seat in the office, alright?" He nods to me before helping Simmons out of his chair. The two disappear down the hall and I finally get to sit down and just breathe for a few minutes. This was never supposed to require this much time and energy.
The top floor private office is a spacious and well-appointed space that reflects Membrane's high status and position within the organization and human society in general. The walls are lined with bookcases filled with tomes and journals on various scientific topics, creating an accomplished and scholarly atmosphere. The row of large windows sit across from Zim, overlooking the reddish city skyline, letting in plenty of natural light and illuminating the modern and minimalist decor. It feels like forever as I sit in a comfortable white leather armchair, anxiously waiting.
I notice that there are a few photographs displayed on a nearby shelf. One is a picture of Membrane with his two offspring, he and The-Dib smiling with Gaz-Sister and posing in front of a typical scenic landscape. Another framed photo shows the professor receiving an award for his latest scientific achievement, surrounded by colleagues and industry peers. I return my gaze to the family photo. It can't be very old as Dib doesn't look much different…
It takes Membrane much longer than a few moments to come back to his office but once he does, he shuts the door, snapping me from my thoughts. He takes his seat across his desk from me, a quiet smile on his face as if nothing happened. He was likely sorting things out after everything I went through just to get into this seat. He just looks at Zim for a moment before speaking.
"So, Zim! To what do I owe the sudden and unexpectedly violent visit?" He asks, gesturing towards me. I glance between him and out one of the large windows, flexing my fingers.
"Well…" I sigh, my eyes turning down. Zim has a mental list of what I need to say, but even through his bulky eyewear, I can feel his eyes piercing through me.
"Is everything alright with Dib?" He asks and I'm nodding before he even finishes his question.
"He's perfectly fine. No need for alarm. He's…" The words die on my lips for so,w reason.
"…home?" He offers and I nod.
"Yes! Home… asleep."
"Ah, alright… well…" his fingers tap the surface of his desk a few times. "I've got a presentation in a few-"
"Zim is here because I've been doing some thinking. Well, research mostly. But uh… You appreciate research right?" Irk, this is so annoying. Zim just needs to get it over with somehow… carefully broach the subject so I don't startle him…
"Research is usually pretty beneficial, yes…" He replies curiously. Good. Great. This is going well.
"Well that's perfect! I am glad we are on the same metaphorical page! Because I'm marrying your offspring!" So much for slowly getting to the point.
The room falls into an eerie silence as we just sort of stare at each other for a few moments.
"Could you repeat that?"
"Yes, of course. Zim said I'm going to enter into a marriage with Dibromide." I say back and he blinks. "Zim will explain. Throughout my research of human mating rituals and behaviors, I came to the understanding that the proposal of marriage would be the next logical step in the development of the relationship between myself and The Dib. However, I came across rather mixed results pertaining to whether or not it is still customary for the individual making the proposal to speak with the family of their mate first." He is still silent so I clear my throat and nod. "As such, I figured I would err on the side of caution and have this conversation with you. You know, better safe than sorry."
"So… I'm not entirely sure I understand. Are you asking me if you can marry Dib?"
"Oh no no, I'm most respectfully letting you know. This conversation is more of a box to check off."
"Does that mean you've already asked him?"
"No. This is supposed to happen first."
"Well then… how do you even know he'll say yes?"
"He will." I nod and he sighs.
"What is the rush? It seems like you kids have been rushing this entire relationship lately… I remember when you were pretending to hate one another but now… What is with this big change?" Where would I even begin to explain that? These past few months have brought about nothing but changes for both Dib-Thing and I. There isn't enough time on this planet to properly explain to him the reason I am here.
"…Again, this is the next logical step."
"Zim. You're both way too young for this. I mean, what if you grow apart and want to explore meaningful relationships with other people?" He suggests and I frown.
"The thought of being with any other human makes Zim physically ill." I reply immediately.
"I just think the relationship is moving forward too quickly. You're just kids-"
"We are young adults."
"Young being the operative word." He says back. Now it is my turn to drag in a painful breath and put an end to this back and forth.
"This conversation is admittedly of little consequence. Zim is just trying to do things the way I think Dibromide might want them to be done. However, regardless of how this conversation ends, I will still proceed to make him my husband… We can however discuss the reservations being held on your part… Are you still struggling to believe that he is in good hands with me?"
"That's not it…"
"Then what is? This can easily be sorted out so I can go home."
"Zim… how do I put this… I'm aware that your… place of origin is abnormal, for lack of a better word."
"…Excuse me?" For Tallests sake. This meeting just HAD to be anything but simple. I could never say I am ashamed of my Irken heritage but… My skin feels numb as I consider how much Membrane may know about where I come from. I am enveloped in both a sense of surprise and concern about how he could have discovered my secret. Could Dib-Thing have revealed it to him? Without discussing it with me? He asked me weeks ago about telling his father… It should still have been my decision, shouldn't it? The Tallests wouldn't want my true identity revealed but that doesn't matter anymore so… How does Zim feel about this?
On one level, there's a weird sense of relief and release, knowing that this is no longer a secret. But at the same time, there's a fear of the unknown, not knowing how my Dib's parental unit feels about this information… This is likely the reason he is against the idea of our matrimony… the reason he never wanted Dib to move in with Zim in the first place… If Dib finds out that his father disapproves of him being with me because of what I am… what could that mean for our relationship? That is the thought which brings about a sense of shame and vulnerability, feeling exposed and vulnerable to potential rejection or hostility.
If I have to kill him, I'll genuinely be upset. I actually like Professor Membrane but not even he can get in my way…
"I know why my son has always been so fascinated with you… I was okay to turn a blind eye, even when it was clear he was keeping secrets from me. But what occurred recently… I can't just act like it didn't happen." He says and I shake my head a bit before responding.
"Wait a second. You knew? All this time, you knew? You- you knew he was telling you the truth? How could you lie like that? How could you gaslight him for half his life?!"
"That was never my intention-"
"Was your intention to make him feel crazy?! Because that's what you did."
"Of course not! I was…" He sighs again, a pensive expression coming over his features. "I thought it was safer that way."
"Safer. To make him feel as though not a single person on the planet believed him."
"I wanted to discourage his interest in extraterrestrial beings because I knew for a fact that he was right and I was just… I was afraid of losing him."
"With the way you shunned his interest…"
"I know I know, but…" He draws in a breath. "Has… Has Dib ever mentioned anything to you about his mother?"
I'm not sure what to say in response so I just shake my head, confused about where this conversation is headed.
Irk. Nothing is ever simple when the Membranes are involved.
"Evelyn." He removes his goggles and pinches between his eyes for a moment. "Her name is Evelyn. She was an interplanetary travel specialist but more than that, she adored outer space… Everything about it just seemed to mesmerize her… she studied space while I worked on projects for earth. We enjoyed learning from one another…"
"Interplanetary travel suggests she actually visited other planets…" I say back, skeptically.
"And she did! Plenty. She loved what she did and she was undisputedly the best at it. That's how we met actually…" He smiles. I look around the room, confused and trying not to ask what any of this has to do with my marrying Dib. I just want to stand up and say 'if this means you don't mind my marrying Dib, then thanks, goodbye' and finally go home. But he says something that catches my attention… "Being significant members of the advanced science community, we crossed paths often… I never really considered dating, romance, or love until Evelyn"
"You… you sound like me…" I admit quietly. It isn't long ago that Zim was so completely repulsed by the mere thought of love and affection but now… Don't get me wrong, it's still disgusting but… When I'm with Dib, I always feel this weird warm, comforting feeling in my chest that sort of expands outward, filling me with a sense of contentment and…belonging. Belonging I've never felt anywhere. Not even with the people who created me. I find myself constantly thinking about him and worrying about his well being, which is obviously unusual for me. It's all so strange, having these strong emotions and desires for someone else, especially for a human but it's both exhilarating and terrifying. I want to be constantly near him, to touch him and hold him close. I want to protect him and make him happy, to see his annoying smile and hear his stupid laughter.
"That's because I get it. Evelyn… she just made it all so easy, you know? It was like all the pieces of the puzzle fit when we were together…"
"Puzzle pieces… yeah…" I say back, thoughtfully. I'm feeling much less inclined to leave as he begins to tell me much more…
The door to the Membrane home opened just after 10pm as Professor Membrane arrived home from the lab. The oversized playpen in the center of the living room was still filled with activity boards, interactive baby books, and building blocks but both children were likely in their respective rooms. Membrane hung up his lab coat and goggles, then made his way to the kitchen where he found Evelyn.
"Evie!" He greeted her with his usual kiss on the cheek. Evelyn smiled softly at him as she continued mixing bottles of formula for the next day. Deep purple hair braided back. "How was your day? Are the kids asleep?"
"It was good… I just tucked them into bed. Gaz was irritable today though, she might be coming down with a cold." She replied, adjusting her large glasses.
"Oh, poor thing… What about Dib?"
"He's fine. He's got an appointment to check on the tubes in his ears tomorrow morning. And his first pair of glasses should be ready for pickup this week."
"Tomorrow? I thought that was next week?!"
Evelyn sighs softly. "It's okay, I know you've been busy."
"No no, I can rearrange some things- I-I'll be there." He insists, picking up the prepared baby bottles and placing them into the refrigerator as Evelyn tucks the powdered formula into the cupboard. She goes into the living room and sinks down onto the couch in the dim lighting.
"Evelyn, I mean that...l-I'll be there this time." Professor Membrane says again, following close behind her.
"Okay… So, did you eat? I saved some pasta for you." She offers up a tired smile once he sits down beside her.
"Thank you, I'll have it in a few but for now, I just want to relax. Maybe we can just… talk?"
"Sure, I guess. What exactly do you want to talk about?"
"Anything you'd like, I just… want to check in with you…"
"Check in with me?"
"You just… Lately I've been getting a feeling that you aren't happy… Not as happy as you deserve to be… If it's something I'm doing, just tell me how to fix it."
"It's not you… I'm happy it's just…"
"Just what?" He envelopes his hands around hers.
"It's hard, caring for the kids all day every day. I love them but it's hard to handle it all. And sometimes I feel like I'm failing…"
"You're not failing. You're doing the best you can. I wish there was more I could do to help."
"No no, I know you have the company and everything to look after, this set up made the most sense and I don't want it to sound like I'm being indecisive or changing my mind, what's done is done…"
"Evie, I told you, we can always change this set up if it stops working for all of us involved. I need you to be honest with me." Evelyn takes a deep breath, eyes cast down. "It sounds more like… you feel trapped… Do you?"
"I just need a break. I don't get even an hour to myself. I feel like I can't be myself and I'm just always a mom."
"Of course. That's valid and we're going to work through this… Being a mom is incredible but it isn't all you are."
"I guess I just don't feel like myself anymore. I know it's not your fault, and it's not their fault but I feel like I've lost myself… it hurts to think about."
"I didn't realize how you felt. I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner… I'll do better."
"Honey, there isn't much you can do." She shakes her head and they're both silent for a moment.
"You miss your job." He says finally.
"Whether I do or don't, it isn't the kind of job I can do while raising a family. I'd be gone for months at a time and that wouldn't be fair to them- or you-"
"Maybe, but the setup we have now… isn't fair to you…" A single tear falls down her cheek and he gently wipes it away. She's about to say something when a small, excited voice comes up behind them.
"Dad! Dad! Did you see the moon? It's red!" Evelyn immediately perks up, smiling although her small sniffle doesn't avoid Membrane's attention. "Mommy said it's ill-um-in-a-ted!" The small child exclaims, scrambling up onto the couch between his parents, completely disregarding the fact that he should have been fast asleep by now.
"Son! I did see it, but you should be in bed, it's late!" Membrane replies, scooping Dib up. "Alright, bud. It's way past your bedtime, let's go."
The boy giggles as his father lifts him up and sets him down on his hip. He glances over at his mother, who is still trying to hide her lingering sadness. Membrane notices and feels a small pang of guilt.
"How about you say goodnight to your mother and then we'll get you back to bed?" he suggests gently.
Dib turns his large brown eyes and attention to his mother, who forces a smile and gives his head of messy black hair a gentle pat. "Goodnight, sweetie. Sleep well."
"Night, night, momma!" the little one replies before nuzzling into his father's chest.
Membrane gives his wife a soft 'we're going to continue this conversation' look before carrying their son back to his room.
As he tucks the tired little boy into bed, Membrane can't help but feel torn. He wants to make her happy again, but he doesn't know how.
Once Dib is settled into bed, Membrane shuts off the light and pulls the door, leaving it slightly ajar.
He heads back out into the living room to find his wife in the same spot as before, except now she's staring blankly at the wall. The soft glow of the moon, the same moon that brought such life and joy to their baby boy's eyes, highlights the tired circles under her eyes.
He takes a seat next to her on the couch, the silence heavy with unspoken feelings.
After a few moments of silence, he speaks, his voice soft and gentle. "We need to find some way to make this work..."
She looks over at him, her eyes betraying the exhaustion and sadness she's been holding in. "I just... I do- I miss my job. I loved what I did and I feel like a part of me is missing now that I'm not doing it. Plus, being a stay-at-home mom is harder than I thought it would be."
He nods, understanding her feelings. "I know you loved your work. You were amazing at it. And I can't help but feel guilty now for essentially making you give it all up."
She shook her head, "No, no. It wasn't just your decision. I agreed to it. It's just... I guess I didn't realize how much I missed it until now."
He reaches for her hand, silently encouraging her to continue.
She sighs heavily and continues, "I feel so torn. I love you, Dib and Gaz more than anything. I wouldn't trade any of you for the entire world. But I can't deny that I miss the intellectual stimulation and the independence of having a career. I feel like I've lost such an important part of myself in becoming a mother, like I'm not who I used to be anymore."
His grip on her hand tightens as he listens, empathizing with her feelings but knowing there's no easy solution. "I understand how you feel. You've sacrificed a lot to be here for them, and I can't thank you enough for that. But I don't want you to feel like you've lost yourself in the process. You're still the same brilliant, strong woman I fell in love with."
She manages a small smile at his words, appreciating his understanding. "I just wish there was a way to have it all, you know? To be a good mom, a good wife, and still have a fulfilling career… to not have to choose."
Membrane takes a breath, his heart squeezing in his chest at the thought but he proceeds. "Maybe… We could plan some trips for you? At least once or twice a year?"
Her eyes widen a bit in surprise, her tiredness momentarily forgotten as she processes his words. "Really? You'd be okay with me going on trips without you and the kids?"
"You loved interplanetary travel and space exploration… you were… ARE so good at it and you deserve to have it all… I'll always do what I can to make sure you're happy, Evie."
She blinks a few times, trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall. "Thank you," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. "I didn't think you'd understand, I thought you'd think I was selfish for wanting to travel again."
He shakes his head, gently brushing another tear from her cheek. "No, I don't think you're selfish at all. In fact, I admire your ambition and your desire to do something you love. I just want you to be happy, that's all."
She smiles softly, feeling a small weight lifted off her shoulders. "But what about the kids? I can't just leave them all the time."
"We'll figure something out," Membrane reassures her. "Maybe we can arrange for a family member or a trusted babysitter to watch them while you're away. I could rearrange my own schedule a bit combined with some daycare. And of course we'll video call with you every day and night."
She nods, the thought of being able to travel again, even if only occasionally, making her heart race a little with excitement. "That… that could work. But really Dibromide, are you sure you'll be okay holding down the fort here with the kids while I'm gone?"
"I'll manage," he says, giving her a confident smile. "We've got this. And don't worry, I'll take good care of the kids during your trips. We'll all be fine."
She lets out a small sigh of relief, leaning into his side. "Okay. I trust you. And thank you, for understanding what I need. You have no idea how much it means to me."
He wraps an arm around her, pulling her closer. "Anything for you, my dear. I want to help you get back to your smiling, carefree self. And I want you to know that you're not just a mother now. You're still smart, talented, and adventurous. And you always will be."
Zim is stunned into silence but he isn't voluntarily continuing the story so I clear my throat in the heavy silence.
"She left…?"
He sighs. "She actually went on her trips several times… We kept in contact, I always knew she was safe… she was so fulfilled. It worked perfectly until it just… didn't. It was successful four times and then that third year…"
"Did she decide to stay away of her own volition? Do you know where she is?"
"She would never do that and no, I don't know where she is. All I know is that something went wrong and no matter who I sent out there or how many times I went out there myself, no one could locate her. I started spiraling, and I mean I was really losing it… But I had to get a hold of myself because at the end of the day, I still had a four year old daughter and a five year old son who needed a parent."
"You attempted to look for her?! Do you know how vast space is?!"
"Would you look for Dib?" He asks and my gaze falls back to the desk, my mouth snapping shut.
…He's right.
"Zim. You give my son access to the exact same life his mother was living… I may not have all the details about what happened to him all those weeks ago, but I can make a pretty good guess." Zim shifts a bit in my seat, my stomach presenting that dreaded yet familiar turning feeling. Just the thought of Dib motionless, soaking my clothes in metallic smelling liquid makes me want to fly back to the base and confirm that he's still there...
Just then, a knock on the door snaps us both back to reality and someone calls out that Membrane is needed in five minutes. He sighs, returning his gaze to Zim before standing from his chair. I follow suit, unsure of what to say or do. Nothing in my research prepared me for this type of interaction.
"That wasn't-" I start but he continues.
"I don't know how Dib will feel about this proposal of yours but if this relationship between the two of you continues to develop, please… All I ask is that you keep him safe." Membrane says, extending a gloved hand towards mine.
Keep him safe? I know I possess the ability to protect him from harm and danger. I would use everything I have, every resource at my disposal to ensure his safety and well-being. Zim would go to great lengths to make sure he is free from any threats or dangers, and I would do everything in my power to keep him safe and sound. Regardless of how I feel about the Tallests, Zim is still an invader. And invaders learn from their mistakes. Always. However rare they may be…
I grab his hand without a second thought.
"…You have my word."