Summary: When the truth comes out about who *really* did the pushing outside of the restaurant, Quinn and Rachel must come to terms with how their mother handles each of them.
Please note: This story happens immediately after Just For Kicks timeline wise.
(Timeline: Mother's Day 2011)
When Push Comes To Shove, Part 2: Confessions
Rachel strained her ears to hear what was happening behind that closed door. She'd heard Quinn call Shelby 'Mommy' and then the sounds of the spanking stopped. She could hear the low rumblings of a conversation, was able to pick out a small phrase or two, but the overall context was lost to her. She'd just begun to think that the spanking was over and she should really head back downstairs before she was caught when it all started up again. Rachel flinched at the sharp staccato rhythm.
Quinn's shrill cries started back up immediately, but Rachel noticed they were different now. The ows were still there (and getting more numerous by the second) but Quinn had given up all of her varied 'Please, Mama's and 'Mama, nooo's. It was clear to Rachel that Quinn was folding. The fire that no doubt burned in the other girl's heart at the injustice of it all was a flickering candle compared to the heat of the forge she battled against. She was never going to win that fight.
"Ow! Ow, ow, Mama, I—Ouch! I'm sor—Ow! 'M sorry! I am! I—aahhHAAAH—I AM!"
Rachel grimaced and wiped at the tears falling unchecked down her face. Even with her jealousy still buzzing inside her veins, Rachel couldn't help but feel sorry for Quinn. That sounded painful and, well…Rachel was to blame. She should have spoken up when she had the chance to earlier…It was too late now. The only hope she had now was to fess up when Shelby returned downstairs and face her own painful consequences. Then she and Quinn would be even and maybe—just maybe—they'd be able to move forward.
oOo
Shelby hated hearing Quinn break down and sob so pitifully. It needed to happen, unfortunately. Shelby needed to bring her child past feeling sorry for herself to feeling sorry for her actions. She was relieved it had taken less than a dozen swats to Quinn's thighs to bridge that gap.
Her hand slowed, but didn't stop as Quinn continued to cry. The girl's legs kicked feebly and her hips still twisted this way and that. She was exhausting herself and Shelby knew it wouldn't take much more until the child gave in to the correction.
"What are you sorry for, Quinn?" Shelby asked, delivering a half-hearted swat to Quinn's left cheek that still made the girl buck and howl.
"Owwwhowww, Mama!" Quinn cried, rubbing her face into her mother's bedding for what felt like the hundredth time. The fabric was damp with her tears and snot and she grimaced as the thought crossed her mind that she was wiping her own face fluids further onto her cheeks than off of them. It was fleeting, however, as her mother's hand came down atop her sore bottom again, encouraging a response.
"Okay, okay!" the poor girl whimpered. "OW! 'M s–sorry…for hur—hurting—Ouch! Ra—Ow, Mama! Rachel!" Quinn arched her back and clenched her butt, vaguely wondering if that would create a smaller target area for her mother to work with—maybe she'd miss! She didn't and Quinn voiced her displeasure with a shuddering sob.
"We're almost done, baby," Shelby promised. She readjusted her daughter over her lap, forcing the girl to relax her tense pose.
"No, Mama, please," Quinn couldn't help but beg as she flung her hand back to cover her aching rump. "We can be done now!"
The mother sighed and took Quinn's hand in her own, holding it out of the way. "I know, honey," she soothed. "Almost there."
Quinn could only cry. Shelby gave her hand a gentle squeeze and Quinn squeezed back, appreciating the small comfort. It made getting her sit-spots scorched by her mother's relentless palm a little easier to take. She hated it, though.
"Noo–oohoh, Mama! I'm really sorr—reeheeeee—Ouch!"
"I know you're sorry, Quinnie," Shelby reassured, her tone soft. It clashed horribly with her firm hand. "Do you remember what I asked you to think about? About the changes you need to make?"
"I won't—Ouch! Ooh, Mama, owww—do it again!" Quinn promised. She'd promise anything at this point. If only her mama would stop!
"But what will you do the next time a situation like this comes up? How are you going to treat Rachel—or anyone else?"
"I won't—Ow—won't fight! Ma—aahHA—Ouch! I promise I won't!" Quinn sobbed. "I won't be—Ouch! Won't be mean to Ra—oohoh, nooo—to Rachel ever again! I'll…I'll be polite and—AH—respectful, Mama, I promise—I SWEAR! I'll be—Ooh, owwhow! OUCH—be g–good, Mama! I'll be gooOOOODD!"
Quinn had reached her limit. Her butt was on fire and her heart ached. She wanted to be done having her mama spank her so soundly. What little fight she had left in her slipped away and Quinn was left exhausted and so, so sorry. She slumped over her mother's knees, gulping in air between her full-bodied sobs.
Shelby let out her own shaky breath as Quinn finally went limp. She stilled her hand atop the burning bottom, surprised at the heat radiating from it. Her eyes scanned her work. It was a vibrant red, nearly glowing. Shelby knew it hurt and would ache well into the evening. She sighed. She hoped it was enough…Shelby didn't think she could handle delivering even one more swat today.
Quinn was lifted up and placed on shaky feet. Her mother's hands never left her as she was drawn into an embrace. Quinn buried her face in the crook of Shelby's neck and sobbed without restraint. She latched onto the woman's shirt, fisting the material between her fingers as she hugged her mama back tightly.
"Okay, honey, okay. Mama's got you. Easy now, baby, that's it." Shelby soothed with gentle words while her hand provided its own comfort, rubbing up and down Quinn's quivering back. Every few passes, that hand would lower and stroke feather-light over the fire she'd so meticulously tended, now trying to tame.
She allowed Quinn to stay hidden away a moment longer before easing the girl back a step. Quinn whimpered and tried to reattach herself, so desperate to be held.
"Hang on, Quinnie," Shelby murmured. "Let's get these jeans off and then I will hold you—I promise."
"O–Okay," Quinn hiccuped. Balancing herself with a hand on Shelby's shoulder, Quinn obediently lifted one foot and then the other as Shelby worked the denim down and off. Her panties went with them and the girl sighed in relief. She didn't think she could handle anything touching her bottom right now.
"Come here, baby," Shelby said, holding her arms out for her child. Quinn didn't need to be told twice and Shelby scooped her up and onto her lap, mindful of her tenderness.
"'M sorry, M–Mama," Quinn cried, her head returning to its favorite spot nestled against her mother's neck. She wiped her face against the woman's blouse and inhaled a shaky breath as Shelby's arms wrapped around her, holding her safe and snug.
"I know you are, sweetheart," Shelby assured her, cradling the back of Quinn's head the same way she did with Beth. Her heart warmed as Quinn snuggled her head in further, once again reminding Shelby of her youngest. "It's over now—all forgiven. Now we move on. You owe Rachel an apology when we go downstairs, but you aren't in any more trouble. That's done."
Quinn's brain short circuited, forgetting how to breathe. She choked on air and jerked up, crying out as her rear end protested the sudden movement. "Oh, noooo. Rachel!"
Shelby's brows furrowed as she stared at her teenager in alarm. What was Quinn protesting here, exactly? Apologizing to Rachel? She better not be! Shelby wasn't ready for another fight.
Quinn had forgotten all about Rachel. Rachel downstairs…in the house. In the house where Quinn had just—
She couldn't finish that thought. What if Rachel had heard?!
"She didn't hear, honey. She's been downstairs keeping an eye on Beth. She's supposed to be thinking of her own apology to give to you—" Quinn stared at her mother in open astonishment—she hadn't realized she'd asked that out loud. Shelby continued on as if she wasn't aware that Quinn was having an existential crisis, "Then I told her she could pick out a movie for us to watch. How about you pick one too and we'll make an evening out of it, hmm? End the day on a brighter note than we started?"
Shelby stared into red-rimmed, watery eyes and brushed fly-away hair back from a flushed face before placing a kiss to her daughter's forehead.
"Mama," Quinn whined even as she melted into the gentle affection. "She'll know I was—How I was pu–punished." The girl's face burned brightly and she squirmed atop her mother's lap. "She already knew I got—that you…in the bathroom."
"She won't mention it, honey," Shelby assured. "And if she does, I will correct her."
Quinn gave her mother a dubious look. She'd correct her, huh? Quinn thought. She'd believe that when she saw it.
oOo
Rachel continued to cry as she sat scrunched up on the sofa in the living room, hugging her knees to her chest. She'd slunk back downstairs on quiet feet after she'd heard Quinn brokenly sob that she was sorry for hurting Rachel. The distance may have saved Rachel from picking up the slapping sounds, but it did nothing to block out Quinn's wails.
"Noo–oohoh, Mama! I'm really sorr—reeheeeee—Ouch!"
Rachel whimpered at Quinn's distress. She clapped her hands over her ears, praying that would drown out the rest of Quinn's punishment. And it did until Quinn bawled.
"Mama, I promise—I SWEAR! I'll be—Ooh, owwhow! OUCH—be g–good, Mama! I'll be gooOOOODD!"
"That's enough, Mom, please," Rachel muttered to herself. She listened as Quinn's sobs reached a crescendo and breathed a sigh of relief when they began to taper off. Then, there were no sounds that Rachel could hear from the floor above.
oOo
When Shelby shut her bedroom door on one sniffling and subdued teenager, the last thing she expected to meet downstairs was another one. Frowning, the mother came to sit next to Rachel and immediately pulled the girl into her arms.
"What's all this, honey?" she asked gently as she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair.
Rachel could only shake her head as she buried her face much like Quinn had. And just like Quinn, Shelby held her snugly and waited out her tears.
Rachel, for her part, was conflicted. As much as she was enjoying her mom holding her, patting her butt in that same soothing rhythm Rachel was always so jealous of seeing Shelby do for Quinn—the same her daddies did for her—she couldn't stop thinking about how hard her mother's hand sounded against Quinn's bottom not too long ago. Those pats that were meant to comfort felt more like a threat of what was sure to come once Rachel confessed.
"Hey, baby. Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong," Shelby prodded when Rachel's tears didn't diminish. "I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is."
Rachel sucked in a shuddering breath, biting her lip as her mother pulled back enough to meet her eyes. Rachel couldn't hold her gaze, too ashamed and now nervous for what she needed to say. The words poured from her mouth in a jumble. "I…I heard Quinn's sp–spanking. She was crying so h-hard and it's—it's all my fault!"
Shelby's stomach dropped—Quinn's worry had been correct after all. Shelby could have kicked herself! She should have known better, but she wasn't used to having that worry. Beth was too little and the only other time Shelby had ever spanked Quinn with anyone else in the house was that very first time with her father here. He'd been occupied with Beth and had assured Shelby later that he only heard a few brief moments when he'd taken Beth upstairs for her nap. Otherwise, he had said he'd have had no idea anything was happening upstairs.
Shelby understood far too late that that first time had been the anomaly. Rachel being in the house was not the same as her father being here. Rachel had better hearing, for one. The girl wasn't taking care of an awake Beth, for another. And most importantly, Quinn's reactions had changed since then. Gone was that scared little girl putting on a brave face and dealing with her pain stoically. Now, Quinn allowed herself to feel—and she expressed it…energetically. It was a good thing…but Shelby should have taken that into account. She'd messed up—she'd have to make sure that didn't happen again.
For now, though, she needed to focus on Rachel.
"Oh Rach," the mother sighed, hooking a finger under her daughter's chin. She waited until glassy brown eyes looked up. "We talked about this. You were wrong for teasing Quinn, absolutely. But you are not responsible for how she decided to react to that. That's on Quinn. And yes…I spanked her as a consequence. She and I have talked about her needing to control her anger and not lash out with words or now, her hands. And you're right, she did cry hard. But I promise most of those tears were from her letting go of her guilt."
"But Mom—"
"Hang on, Rach, I'm not done," Shelby quieted her child. "Now, Quinnie is resting and when she comes downstairs in a little while, you are both going to apologize to one another. Then we'll all move on with our day—you can each pick out a movie and we'll have a relaxing evening. But listen to me, Rachel. I don't want to hear you teasing Quinn about how she was punished, do you understand? You will not embarrass her or—"
"Quinn didn't push me!" Rachel blurted.
"—make her feel bad. You wouldn't want her to—" Shelby continued to talk over Rachel's interruption. She let out a strangled noise as her daughter's words registered and she met wide brown eyes in alarm. "Wha—What?!"
"She d-didnt push me. I…I was teasing her and she got mad and screamed at me and tried to h–hit me but—"
"I saw her push you, Rachel. She was running at you and pushed you to the ground. I heard you cry out and—"
"I tripped! And I pushed her first! I made fun of her for…for not being able to sit still after you took her to the bathroom. S–Said that you must have made quite an impression on her. She told me to stop and I—I pretended to see you coming. She got scared and then angry and that's when she tried to hit me—but I pushed her instead! She came at me and I—I tripped over the curb. That's when you came out. Quinn didn't push me, Mom. It…It was me. It was my fault. And I—I should have told you but I—"
"Rachel! How…How could you?! Quinn didn't…And I…" Shelby's mind was reeling. Her stomach had taken an escape pod, completely left her body. She wanted to scream. She wanted to vomit.
"I'm sorry, Mom! I'm so sorry! I was…I didn't want to be in trouble! But I should have told you the truth earlier—at the restaurant even! I'm sorry, Mommy!"
Shelby inhaled a shuddering breath. That was the second time she'd been called 'Mommy' today. And while Quinn's utterance was enough to make her pause, Rachel's brought her to a complete standstill. Shelby never thought she would hear her first baby call her 'Mom', let alone anything else.
Rachel's heart thudded painfully inside her chest as she waited for her mother's next move. Shelby had gone from shocked outrage to…staring at her strangely. Rachel didn't know what to make of that. The woman had been so quick to deal with Quinn earlier, so for nothing to be happening now that it was Rachel…what did it all mean?
Even in her stupor, Shelby didn't miss the fear that flitted across Rachel's face. Why did she look so scared? Had Shelby been too harsh in her initial reaction? Rachel's confession shocked her and guilt at how she'd handled Quinn settled like a box of rocks inside her belly. Her focus was certainly more on the hurting blonde child upstairs, but she couldn't ignore the hurt right in front of her either. The mother sighed. Juggling two teenagers with all their complexities was harder than she ever imagined.
"Mo–Mom?" Rachel's voice trembled. "Are you…Please say something."
That timid little voice brought tears to Shelby's eyes. "Oh Rach," she cooed, opening her arms. Rachel barreled into her, knocking the wind from Shelby's lungs. She wrapped her sobbing girl up in a fierce embrace even as she grunted in pain.
"I'm sorry! Please don't ha–hate me!"
"Now you listen to me, young lady," Shelby spoke firmly even as she hugged Rachel tighter. "I love you now, forever, and always. Nothing will ever change that, honey. You are a part of me. I love you, Rachel Barbra Berry."
"I—I love you too, Mommy!" Rachel buried her face in Shelby's neck, her tears tickling the woman's skin. "I'm so sorry. So so SO sorry!"
"Okay, Rach. Okay. You're okay, princess. We'll talk about this but I need you to calm down, okay? And I need to go check on Quinn. I've got to go and try to fix my…my mistake with her. I don't want to leave you this upset though, baby, so please, please stop crying now. Everything is going to be okay, sweetheart."
"But you're m-mad at me!" Rachel wailed.
"I'm not mad, Rachel. I'm…upset. And disappointed—"
"I'm sorry!"
"I know," the mother reassured, rubbing her child's back as she collected her thoughts. "You and I will talk about your part in this after I make things right with Quinn. I do wish you had told me the truth sooner, but I also understand why you had a hard time doing that. It's my fault too. I didn't stop to get both sides of the story. I assumed I knew because Quinn had already gotten in trouble for kicking you. I messed up too. So, most of my disappointment is directed at myself."
"But, are you going to—I'm still in trouble…ar–aren't I?" Rachel lifted her head and met her mother's gaze with red, puffy eyes.
"A bit, yes. We'll talk about it later. Just focus on calming down for me right now, princess," Shelby said, her tone soft and soothing as she brushed hair back from her daughter's face. "That's it, baby. Just calm down."
oOo
Shelby eased the door open to her bedroom and peeked inside. Quinn was sprawled out on her stomach, the oversized t-shirt Shelby had her change into riding up to reveal her panty-covered bottom. The freshly-spanked skin was still so red and sore looking that Shelby had to swallow back the sob that wanted to burst forth at the sight.
"Quinnie?" she called softly as she stepped inside the room. She shut the door with extreme care, not wanting the latch to sound like an explosion in the otherwise-silent space. "Are you awake, honey?"
The teenager stirred at her mother's voice, looking over her shoulder with blurry eyes. "M–Mama? It's been an hour already?" Quinn yawned and rubbed at her eyes, a pout forming as she rolled onto her side. It hadn't felt like an hour; she was sure her mama had only just left her. Had she actually fallen asleep? If she had, she didn't feel rested.
Shelby offered her child a sad smile. The girl looked so little right now, pouty-faced and sleepy, that it was easy for Shelby to picture Quinn as a toddler. "No, honey, it's only been about twenty minutes."
Quinn's pout deepened into a frown as she took in her mother's demeanor. While not appearing angry, Shelby also wasn't looking like the calm, forgiving mother who had left her to rest not too long ago. There was a definite air of regret radiating off of the woman. It didn't inspire a lot of confidence in Quinn that her mama was back so soon after promising an hour of quiet for anything but something bad. After all, Shelby didn't break her promises.
Sad and serious and looking like she hated whatever she was about to do, Shelby breathed out a long sigh. "We…we need to talk, Quinnie."
Alarm bells went off inside Quinn's head as she watched her mother move towards the bed. She scrambled to her feet, her hands flying backward for protection. "Wait, Mama, I—I'm sorry! Whatever I did, I'm sorry!" she panicked.
"Oh no, baby, no," Shelby rasped, hurrying to her daughter's side. Her arms were around the girl in an instant, not missing the way Quinn stiffened against her. "You didn't do anything wrong, sweetheart," she reassured, cradling the back of Quinn's head while her fingers scratched lightly at her scalp.
"Then why are you back so soon and upset with me?" Quinn whimpered, her voice muffled against her mother's shirt. She drew comfort from Shelby's presence, even if she didn't let her guard (or her hands) down.
"Oh honey," Shelby's voice wavered. "I'm not upset with you. I'm upset with me. Rachel told me what—what really happened and I…I am so sorry, Quinnie."
The words were barely out of Shelby's mouth when Quinn let out a pained gasp and broke free. Eyes filled with hurt disbelief snapped up to pierce Shelby straight through the heart. She deserved that look, and the anger and betrayal Quinn undoubtedly felt at the news. Shelby had royally fucked up.
Quinn stared at Shelby, dumbfounded. Of all the things she had imagined her mother might say, it wasn't that. She was at a loss. She didn't know what she should feel—or think. It didn't make any sense. Why would Rachel tell Shelby what really happened? She could have gotten away with their mother thinking Quinn was the "bad" child. It was a role Quinn knew well, having grown up with Golden Child Frannie for all those years. Quinn was blamed for every fight she and her older sister had ever had, despite the eight-year age gap between them. It had never mattered what the truth was then, either.
At least Quinn had done horrible things to Rachel before. She had something to atone for, at least. And Quinn certainly felt like she had after that doozy of a spanking. The old, deep-rooted guilt she had harbored over how badly she'd hurt Rachel had been stripped away, leaving skin that was raw and pink but well on its way to healed.
The silence had gone on forever (less than a minute) and Shelby couldn't take it. Reaching out, she cupped her daughter's face in her hands, the pads of her thumbs tracing along Quinn's cheekbones. "I know you're angry with me, honey—and have every reason to be. I understand if you don't want to talk to me right now. I know I can't take back what I did, but I am sorry, sweetheart."
Meeting Shelby's gaze, Quinn was taken aback by the pain reflected in those eyes. She hated the sight of it. "I—I'm not. It's okay, Mama."
Shelby sucked in a shuddery breath as tears welled, blurring her vision. "It's not, Quinnie," she spoke forcefully, her tone at odds with the gentle caress of her fingers. "It's not okay. I didn't take the time to talk to you and get your side of the story. I thought I knew it already and I was…I was upset and frustrated with you. I thought you were continuing to act up and—I really messed up, baby. I punished you when you didn't deserve it, and I'm not sure how I make this right with you. There's no way I can except to keep telling you how sorry I am. And promise that it won't happen again."
"I…I get it though, Mama. I get what it looked like from your perspective. I did lie—and straight to your face—when I told you I didn't kick Rachel and you saw it. Why would you listen to me when I said I didn't push her? I've done so much worse to her than that before anyway, so, really…I deserved it. And I don't blame you for spa—uh…punishing me."
Quinn's face had turned scarlet by the end and she was sure that it was so hot, it was going to melt clean off. But she met her mother's eyes with conviction. She needed her mama to know that it really was okay.
"Oh, Quinnie, no," Shelby said, tears spilling freely down her face now. "I was wrong for not having a real conversation with you before spanking you. It's my job to always listen to you and I didn't. You deserve better than that, sweetheart, and I…I should have done better."
Quinn's heart clenched as she watched her mother begin to cry, and her own eyes burned in response. "Please don't cry, Mama. I'm okay. I promise I'm okay."
"Quinnie—"
"No, please listen," Quinn implored, and Shelby's stomach seized as if she'd been sucker punched.
Choking back a sob, Shelby nodded. She dropped her hands from Quinn's face, shuffled back a few steps to the bed, and then sat. She drew Quinn in close to her and looked up to meet big, sad eyes. "I'm listening now, sweetheart," she promised.
Quinn let out a tiny breath of relief and eased herself down beside her mother. A hiss escaped despite her best efforts and she squirmed the moment her bottom hit the mattress. She willed herself to sit still at the flash of pain that shot across Shelby's features and wished Rachel had just kept her big, fat mouth shut. Telling had only hurt Shelby.
"It hurt you, Quinnie," Shelby said, her words clear despite the tearful nature of them. Quinn's eyes widened in surprise; that was the second time she'd inadvertently said something out loud she hadn't meant to.
"No," she insisted, shaking off her blunder. "It didn't—I'm not." She shifted under her mama's disbelieving eyebrow. "I…may be a little sore," she conceded, biting her lip to hide her grimace.
"Quinnie," Shelby's sigh bordered on exasperation. "I'm not talking about your bottom hurting—though there is that. I'm talking about the hurt I've done to your heart, sweet girl."
"Mama, you said you'd listen," Quinn grumbled. "I'm fine. My heart's been through worse," she added, then wished she could take it back. The look on Shelby's face at those words would haunt her forever. "I just mean—I'm not damaged or anything. All you did was punish me for treating Rachel badly. I have done that. A lot—and all of it ten times worse than pushing her to the ground will ever be. So…So I don't think what I got was unfair for what I've actually done." She didn't mention her feeling that she probably deserved much more.
"That's not…how any of this is supposed to work, baby," Shelby lamented, giving a quick swipe at her tears. They were slowing now in the face of needing to be fully present for Quinn. She took a deep breath to settle herself before reaching for the girl's hands. She gave them a quick squeeze, then began tracing her thumbs across the back of them as she continued. "We've talked about this before. The things you've done to Rachel in the past are in—the—past. You haven't been cruel to Rachel like you once were—"
"I hurt her today," Quinn pointed out. "I kicked her a few times…Hard."
"And you were given a quick correction for that and stopped kicking her. That's not the same thing as throwing slushies in her face at school," Shelby countered.
"But—"
"Honey, you fought with your sister. You were spanked for it. There wasn't anything more sinister in your actions. Inappropriate and hurtful, but not cruel. Even when I thought you'd pushed her, it was never that. I'm just sorry—"
"You don't need to be sorry. And I don't want you to be!" Quinn interjected heatedly.
"Quinn—"
"No, Mama," Quinn refused. "I—Okay, I was upset when you wouldn't listen to me. It…It felt like you were picking Rachel over me. Taking her side—" Quinn's throat tightened as those residual feelings emerged. Pushing them down, she went on. "But then, you said something about, did I think the way I treated Rach was acceptable. I know you meant it for today, but I—I took it to mean for other times. And I don't think the things I've done to her before are acceptable. I…I did hurt her. And I never—I was never made to account for any of it. So I've had all this guilt over it and…and now I don't. Because…I decided in my head that that's what I was being punished for."
"Oh, Quinnie," Shelby said sadly. The tears she'd previously gotten under control welled once more. She blinked to clear them, not surprised when several slipped past to tickle her skin as they fell. Ignoring them, she wrapped her teenager up in her arms, adjusting them both so they could lay together against the pillows.
"Rachel shouldn't've told you," Quinn murmured. She propped herself up on an elbow so she could meet her mother's eyes. She sighed at the return of tears clouding them and reached out with her free hand to wipe a few away. It was then that Shelby intercepted her hand, bringing it to her lips to kiss, then moved it back to the bed.
Shelby carded her fingers through Quinn's hair, scratching at her scalp as she went. The teenager's eyes closed as Quinn leaned into the affection, and Shelby couldn't stop the smile that tugged at her lips. "I wish she'd've told me sooner…but I'm glad she told me at all," she said. Quinn's eyes snapped open to glare at her.
"But now you're sad. And it was already over. She should have left it be," Quinn maintained.
"I'm sad because of my own actions, kiddo. Sad because they affected you. It was a mistake, but a big one. And I'm sorry that you're the one who got hurt the most from it," Shelby spoke gently. Quinn huffed, pushing herself up to her knees. She continued to glare down at Shelby.
"I'm not the one upset about it. You are," she sulked.
Shelby sighed and pushed herself up to sit as well. She reached out to comfort her teenager, but the girl wanted no part of it right now. The rejection stung. "Quinnie—"
"Mama," Quinn growled. "Just let it go, okay?! I told you I'm fine and I mean it! Why can't you just accept that I'm not upset about you punishing me and we can move on?" The girl let out a disgruntled 'Ugh!' at the end that lasted several seconds.
"Quinn. I just want to talk about—"
"Well I don't!" the girl yelled. "I don't want to talk about it at ALL! I want you to get that I'm fine! I've done horrible things to Rachel before; I was never punished for it; I've been carrying around all of this guilt over—" She stopped abruptly, having forgotten to breathe in her agitated state. Shelby took that opportunity to try to interrupt, but Quinn was already gulping in enough air to continue. "—and NOW—I'm—Not! So can you just—friggin'—drop—"
"Lucy," Shelby said in a tone just verging on stern, not because she was angry, but simply to get the girl's attention.
Quinn wasn't so far gone in her upset that she missed the shift in tone (or the change in address). She snapped her mouth closed and deflated, her anger giving way to that wriggly dread bubbling up in her belly. She looked down and away, but could feel Shelby's eyes on her. Her own prickled with tears as she braved a quick glance up.
Quinn's thoughts were plastered all over her face. Shelby didn't say a word, simply settled back again in bed, bringing Quinn with her. She adjusted the pair of them until they were comfortable, Shelby easily able to snuggle her teenager close. She guided her daughter's head to rest against her chest, where the girl could hear the steady thump of her heart against her ear.
"Mama, I'm sorry I was—" Quinn began, only to cut herself off when her mother's hand traveled down to rest against her bottom. She tensed, not daring to even breathe. But then Shelby's hand started to move gently, whispering across the worst of the ache to temper active embers.
"Hush now. Close your eyes. I'm right here," she soothed, relieved when Quinn followed her instructions. The girl yawned, no doubt exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster, and Shelby breathed easier as she felt Quinn's tension recede.
"I am sorry, though. For…for yelling at you like that," Quinn offered after a few minutes' silence. She shifted, trying to push herself up enough to meet her mama's gaze, but Shelby used her free hand to keep her in place.
"It's okay, baby. That's the least of what I deserve," Shelby answered.
"You don't," Quinn insisted, and this time she was successful in lifting her head. Shelby tilted her own head, staring back at Quinn with a raised eyebrow that said more than any of her words had. Oh.
"Maybe you deserved it a little bit," Quinn decided.
Shelby nodded, eyes sparkling. "Maybe so."