It was a bright and sunny day in Bikini Bottom, and SpongeBob SquarePants
was just finishing his shift at the Krusty Krab. After a long day
flipping Krabby Patties, he was ready to relax at home with his best
friend, Gary. As he skipped out the door, something peculiar crossed his
mind—a strange thought that had been lingering for days.
"I wonder," SpongeBob muttered to himself, "what would it be like to eat
my own face? I've eaten everything else—why not?"
Curiosity overtook him as he waddled down the street toward his pineapple
house. As he walked past the Goo Lagoon, the idea became even more
tempting. He looked around to make sure no one was watching, and then,
unable to resist the bizarre urge, he gave his face a tentative lick.
"Mmm… not bad!" he said, wide-eyed with excitement.
One nibble turned into another, and before SpongeBob knew it, he was
gnawing at his own cheeks. His yellow spongey flesh seemed to regenerate,
so he kept munching, thoroughly enjoying this new, self-cannibalistic
experience. In his frenzy, SpongeBob didn't notice when his entire face—
eyes, nose, mouth, and all—had been chewed away.
All that was left was a grinning skeleton, gleaming under the ocean's dim
light. SpongeBob, feeling lighter and not yet realizing what he'd done,
bounced along, humming a tune. But as he strolled into Bikini Bottom's
town square, something unusual began to happen.
"Hey, SpongeBob! How's it goin'?" Patrick called from across the street.
SpongeBob waved, but when Patrick caught sight of his best friend's… uh…
faceless, skeletal grin, he froze.
"AHHHH! SpongeBob, what happened to your FACE?!"
SpongeBob tilted his head. "What do you mean, Patrick? I feel great! Best
snack I've ever had!"
Patrick ran in circles, screaming, "NOOO! Your face! It's gone! There's
only… bones!"
At first, SpongeBob laughed it off, thinking Patrick was just being
silly. But as other Bikini Bottom residents started to notice, things
spiraled out of control. Mrs. Puff, Sandy, and Squidward all screamed in
terror at the sight of SpongeBob's skeletal visage.
"Great Neptune's ghost!" Squidward shrieked, dropping his groceries. "Why
would you eat your own face, you absolute buffoon?!"
"Face? Ohhh," SpongeBob said, finally catching a glimpse of his
reflection in a nearby puddle. "Huh. That's not normal, is it?"
Sandy Cheeks marched up to him, horrified but also intrigued. "SpongeBob,
ya done gone and ate yer own face! Why on earth would you do such a
thing?"
"I… I dunno!" SpongeBob stammered, scratching his exposed skull. "It
seemed like a good idea at the time?"
Mr. Krabs came charging out of the Krusty Krab, looking worried about the
growing commotion. "What in Davy Jones' locker is goin' on here—by the
great clams! SpongeBob, ye look like death itself!"
SpongeBob nervously chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. "It's okay, Mr.
Krabs. I'll just grow it back... eventually?"
But the more SpongeBob tried to play it off, the more panicked the
citizens of Bikini Bottom became. Larry the Lobster fainted, Pearl Krabs
shrieked and hid behind her dad, and Plankton, watching from the Chum
Bucket, rubbed his hands together, grinning.
"This is perfect!" Plankton cackled. "With SpongeBob terrifying the whole
town, I can finally steal the Krabby Patty secret formula!"
As chaos erupted around him, SpongeBob realized he needed to fix the
situation fast. He ran home, hoping Gary wouldn't freak out when he saw
him. But when SpongeBob burst through the door, even Gary let out a
horrified "Meow!" before hiding in his shell.
SpongeBob looked in the mirror and sighed. "I guess this isn't my best
look."
Determined to return to normal, SpongeBob rushed to Sandy's treedome for
help. Sandy quickly set up an experiment to regenerate his face. "Now
hold still, SpongeBob," she instructed, attaching wires and gadgets to
his head. "This here contraption should regrow yer spongey mug in no
time!"
After a few tense moments of zaps and sparks, SpongeBob felt a tingling
sensation. Slowly but surely, his yellow sponge face began to regrow.
Eyes popped back into place, his nose reformed, and finally, his big
toothy grin returned.
"Yee-haw! It worked!" Sandy exclaimed.
SpongeBob, ecstatic to have his face back, bounced up and down. "I'm
back! I'm really back!"
He hurried back into town to show everyone he was okay, but as soon as he
arrived, the townsfolk scattered in all directions, still terrified from
the earlier trauma.
"Oh, barnacles," SpongeBob groaned. "I guess it's gonna take a while for
everyone to stop freaking out."
As SpongeBob walked home, he promised himself never to eat his face
again—no matter how tasty it was.
But, deep down, he couldn't help but wonder… what would his hands taste
like?