Inside a club in Lastation, a woman in black hair, done in pigtails, was behind the curtain, waiting for her turn, aside another woman with long black hair and wearing black.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, Lastation Club is about to welcome you to the greatest duo, since Rom & Ram. Please welcome the styles of Lady Noire and Uni!"

They applauded, as Noire appeared, alongside Uni. Noire was dragging Uni. She placed her on her lap and said, "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen… A funny thing happened to me at the Virtua Forest."

"Well, which forest? I hope you didn't get lost in it."

"I'll have you know, I have had a compass with me, so I wouldn't get lost. Besides, I already met some of your friends there."

Uni gasped, "You're mean! If you weren't my sister, I'd clobber you!"

Noire smiled and said, "I am sorry, but these places are majestic. Aren't you made of Lastation Wood?"

Uni was a life-sized doll, made of wood, with real hair and clothing. She was Noire's ventriloquist dummy.

"Look, if you don't cease the wooden cracks, I'll leave!"

"Oh, don't be so wooden."

"SEE? YOU DID IT AGAIN! I wasn't born with small breasts!"

"Someone beat you to it."

"Try me!" Uni argued with Noire, and the audience laughed. "I'm outta here!"

Noire grabs Uni. "Listen, no, no, don't go. I'm sorry, Uni. I mean, I'm trying to make a good show, and I needed a lot of luck."

"Well, are you going to tell me how you do it? You didn't say you were superstitious… Were you?"

"Well, yes, that's true."

"But you don't cross your fingers or throw salt or hold a charm in their neck. What do you do?"

Noire knocked on Uni's head, "I knock on wood!" Uni roared, as she flailed, "SEE? YOU DID IT AGAIN! HELP ME! I'M QUITTING! YOU CAN TURN IN YOUR LAP! I'M SOLO NOW!"

"You can't quit! You're my meal ticket!"

"Anyone could've done a better job than you, you ample-breasted creep!"

"Really? I'd like to see you try."

"Alright, wiseguy, watch this!"

Noire spoke in Uni's voice, "Funny thing happened to me on the way to Lowee. I mean, it was in Maryo Land. Instead, I was in Player 2's Mansion."

Uni spoke in Noire's voice, "Well, which is it, wiseguy? Was it too PG for you?"

"I was out front in the foyer. And that's where I was – and a ghost came to me, in the foyer. There were foyer ghosts."

"Did you refurbish those jokes? Must've been the formaldehyde."

The audience laughed and applauded, as Hanajima was sitting in the audience. She smiled and said to the 4th wall, "Welcome to Lastation. You're watching Noire, a voice-thrower master, and her alter-ego, her wooden brash sister, Uni. In just a moment, Noire and Uni will be booked in one of the out-of-the-way bistros. And it's located in… the "Tales of the Bizarre"."

Tales of the Bizarre #92:
Dummy Noire

The act continued, as Noire was finishing up her act.

Noire said, "My dear Uni, would you please say goodbye and thank you to the audience?"

"You can do anything, I can't do? How's this, wiseguy? Can you do this?" Uni spun her head around. Noire cried, "Uni, stop that!"

Uni laughed, "Come around tomorrow night. I'm available to just you and me."

Noire giggled, "Uh, I think we'd–, uh, excuse me." She got up.

Uni could only cry out, "HELP! I'm being held against my own will! Send help!"

Noire covered her mouth, but she cried, "OW!"

Uni laughed, "HAH! Serves you right! When I ditch this little primadonna and get a new act, you're gonna see some real class."

Noire huffed, "Sorry, folks. Goodnight." She and Uni left, as Uni cried, "Noooooooo!"

The crowd applauded, as Noire sighed in disdain, "That was a disaster." She brushed Uni's faux black hair and said, "Beautiful…"

She went to her dressing room. Noire then said, as she was unsure. "It's all so sudden. It feels… Boring…" She went to Uni and undressed her, and then redressed her in her casual black attire. "There we go. How does it feel, Uni?" Uni said nothing. She was sitting on the couch, with her arms flailed out, like a rag doll. All Noire could do was look at her hand. The bite mark on her finger was slightly visible. She sighed and grumbled. "I knew I should've gone to voice acting…"

There was a knock on the door. And Noire called, "Come in."

A woman with long blonde hair said, "Lady Noire, I believe you have had a stellar performance."

"I… wish…" She sighed. "I suck so hard."

She said, as she bounced her big breasts, "Listen to me. It's not your first night. You've had harder nights."

"Hmph…" Noire scoffed, "Like you would know."

Vert replied, "Look, you have to remove stress."

"It's… It's not stress…" Noire sniffled, "I'm…"

Vert stated, "Maybe it's because I have soft spots on my friends, inside my breasts, just to make you famous. You chose from being a top-tier voice actress (as you were) to a second-rate entertainer! But it doesn't have to be this way. You take away the negative feelings and the nightmares, and you should be clean."

"Well, maybe it's because of the act. I chose not to, but the only reason I chose this work… It's because of her." She points at Uni, "I need to get rid of her."

"It's about Uni, isn't it?" She approached Uni, as she responded, "I mean, she is realistic, but you cannot accept her as a friend, or a playmate."

"She's not a robot. She's a dummy. Made of wood, cloth, hair… and realistic skin."

"I see… A realistic wooden dummy, with joints and latex skin… It's like she's alive."

Noire huffed, "Yes."

"I'm telling you… You're just lonely, since you have no friends and family."

"You sound like Neptune." Noire growled, "I have plenty of friends. K-SHA hasn't called back."

"And why you were obsessed with the Uni Doll?"

Noire said to Vert, "Vert, this is serious. Deep down, she may be a wooden doll, but she's like a human to me. She's realistic, and she is adorable… My own personal kid sister. Say HI to Vert, Uni."

She controlled Uni and said, "I'm fine, Vert. I'm alive to her, as she is my friend."

Noire grinned nervously, as Vert huffed, "I don't believe you. You need help."

"NO!" Noire pleaded, "Don't send me away. I have no one else to turn to."

Vert sighed and said, "Very well. You have one more show, before you head to Leanbox. Uni is just a dummy… so, the only way you're going to quit your obsessed habit of a doll being alive… is to get rid of her."

"HOW? Having to keep the loneliness away from me, after the one I love left me? What, do I have to say my ex dumped me, because I suffer from schizophrenia, over a life-size wooden mannequin? They'll laugh at me, even convict me! I can tell it to you, in all of Planeptune Land, in Lastation, in Lowee, in Leanbox, in the PC Dimension!"

"How many psychiatrists do you have to see, to get this problem out of your head?"

"I can't help it."

"You can't help it? You were told!"

"I can tell you this! It's like an endless cycle! They told me I suffer because of what K-Sha said to me, and acted obsessed over a wooden doll, just to cure my loneliness! Uni is my sister, not my sex doll! K-Sha left me because of her! IT ISN'T RIGHT! I told them that! It's not right! They are wrong!
They told me to get rid of the dummy, but I am unable to get rid of the dummy, because of forces beyond my control! Don't you get it? All the quacks in the world don't mean shit, compared to my own theory! Schizophrenia and paranoia is worse than COVID or the flu! UNI'S ALIVE!"

"SHE'S A DUMMY!" Vert yelled.

Vert held Uni and shook her at Noire, "LOOK AT HER! SHE'S A BLOCK OF WOOD, A LIFE-SIZED BARBIE MADE FROM OPPENHEIMER! It's nothing but a 149cm stick of firewood with a 77 bust!"

Noire barked, "At least my boobs are real!"

"YOU'RE THE BOOB!" Vert complained, "Now listen… I have helped you from day one, even with Blanc and Neptune, and you're throwing it all away, because of wild conclusions! So what if this wooden thing separated you from K-Sha! And for years since we met, you are committed to shoveling your own grave, over one thought! I can't cover you, all the time, especially from your paranoia over a dummy! And I thought of excuses that I've run out of! I have to work hard for all of you, without sleep (not counting my 4 Goddesses 2 Online game time)! And why? Because I thought Lady Noire of Lastation had a career blooming in the garden of success, but as of now, because of your ambitious crazy thoughts, it's turned to weeds!" She walked around and said, "I didn't think you could be great… I support you, always, no matter what, but it isn't right. You're an arrogant bratty milk sop with an overactive imagination! And the only thing you need more than love is sympathy!" She sighed and sniffled, "I'm giving you 24 hours to get over yourself. Get rid of the crazy obsession that you're in love with Uni! She's not your sister! She's just a doll!"

Noire barked, "No… Uni's alive. She's not a doll." She pulled out a doll with long white hair, and a black school uniform, wearing glasses. "This is a doll. Nepgear, meet Vert." Nepgear spoke, "Hello. I am Nepgear. Hello?" She turned away, as Vert asked, "Eh?"

"What do you say? Lemme go on with this dummy… and I can bench Uni. Maybe a whole new routine, if the people love her."

"A whole new routine? They won't like it, if it's new, right away. It takes time. The people love Uni… but…"

"But it's ridiculous! I mean, think of Uni being the starter, and when I'm done, Nepgear takes over."

"I don't care. You got five minutes before your next show."

"Tell them I can't make the late show. Gimme time to prepare."

"I've already told them everything. And they know it's something. Lastation still wants you, Noire. You're famous there. And if they cannot see you, they'll know something's wrong." Vert sighed, as she looked at Nepgear, "Well, where there's a doll, there's a way… Okay. She goes on; I don't care which doll you use. But afterwards, we'll talk about your show in Leanbox… and your behavior towards Uni." Vert concluded, "This is one time I'm not covering for you… I'm Leanbox, through and through."

Vert leaves, as Noire said, "We go on in five minutes. So, let's practice."

Nepgear was a simple wooden doll, but with realistic skin and hair on just her head. Everything else is wooden. Noire spoke, "Nepgear, tell us… Why do you wear glasses?"

Nepgear turned away from Noire, "I only needed to see better. I have very bad astigmatism."

"Turn towards me, Nepgear! I'm talking here!"

"Keep talking, I'll find you." Nepgear's head was turned backwards, and Noire giggled.

"Yeah… I think this will work…" Noire placed Nepgear down, and then turned to Uni. She smiled, "I'm sorry it had to be this way… But Vert is right. I might be losing it. But I don't want to have psychiatric help. I love you, Uni."

Noire kisses Uni, and then said, "Goodbye." She locked Uni in a trunk and wiped her tears. She picked up Nepgear and said, "Anyways… Time to go, Nepgear. OH! I should make you a new friend or two, when we're done. You know, make it Noire and Friends!"

She and Nepgear left to go on stage, as Uni was inside the trunk, in silence. But then…

"I love you too… Noire…"

XXXXX

Noire and Nepgear were onstage, as Noire sat down, "Anyways, I brought a new friend for the act, and she'll be tested for something special. Nepgear, why do you wear glasses?"

"I can't see well without them." Nepgear turned to the right.

"Look this way, Nepgear. I'm right here."

"Keep talking, I'll find you." She turned her head to Noire and spoke, "OH! There you are."

"Your eyes are bad. I think you need to test your eyesight." Noire held up a flash card with a Big E on it.

Miz-K NOTE: NO, not that Big E.

Noire said, "Alright, let's test your eyes… What letter am I holding up?"

"Where?" Nepgear asked, as the audience laughed.

"Okay, turn this way." Noire said.

Nepgear asked, "Eh? Uhhhhhh… Can you give me a hint?" The audience laughed, as Noire sighed, "Okay… It's a letter that's one of the vowels in the alphabet. And it's most used in Scrabble, too."

Nepgear said, "Oh… uh… No… I got nothing. What is it again?"

"Okay, it's a letter between D and F. No peeking now."

"Oh, I get it!" Nepgear said, "It's E!" she then said, "But you're holding the E sideways. It's a W!"

Noire gasped, as she giggled, "Uhhh, heh-heh-heh. Sorry, this card was big. But hey, at least you have keen eyesight."

Nepgear said, "I cannot tell a lie. I had that thing memorized."

"Oh, really?" She removed her glasses and said, "Now… For a challenging task. What letter is this now?"

"What letter?" Nepgear asked.

The audience applauded and laughed. Noire sighed and said, "Oh, let's just sing your song."

Nepgear sang, as Vert was watching. She sighed and smiled, "It's times like this I wish I wasn't her agent."

Blanc asked, in a soft voice, "So… why did she trade dolls? The first one was a riot."

"She thinks it's trauma. Uni was special to her, but she believes it's a real girl."

"Like Geno? I believe that Mario RPG may be magical. However, I don't think she's able to continue, if she breaks." Blanc suggested, "I believe she could mingle with the guests, along with Uni."

Vert said, "I did, but Noire refuses."

Noire said, "I don't want to mingle with my people. Not Uni, either. Besides, Uni is shy."

Vert responded, "Though, she's very protective."

"Well, give her a shot to mingle. It's psychological." Blanc said.

The act ends, and Noire and Nepgear bow. They left, as one of the girls saw Nepgear, and they were talking with her. Nepgear smiled, "Thank you. You are so nice."

Noire asked, "Would you like to play with her, for a while? I need to be alone for a moment."

The girls held Nepgear, and they even played with her, doing ventriloquism, too. Noire returned to her dressing room, and opened up her trunk. She asked, "Uni? We're a hit… and no, not you. They love Nepgear. I'm… I'm sorry…"

She held Uni up and whispered, "I can't be with you, anymore. They're right. The minute I head to Leanbox, you stay home… and gather dust. Don't worry, I'll come visit you, my beautiful friend." She undressed her, and dressed her in a bathing towel. "Stay here. I'm going to get Nepgear, your replacement. If the fans demand, I'll bring you back to the act. You're the star, after all… other than me."

She placed Uni in a seated position, and went to the door. Vert appeared and glared at her. "Going anywhere?"

"Getting Nepgear, that's all."

"I saw you hanky-panky with Uni. Is this Dummy Incest?"

"I was taking a bath… with my dummies!" Noire cried, "AGH! No, that came out wrong! SHUT UP!"

"Oh… That explains it. Why she's nearly naked." Uni's towel went undone, and Noire shrieked, "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" She readjusted her towel and panicked.

Vert sighed in disdain.

XXXXX

At the bathhouse, Uni & Nepgear were soaking, as Vert and Noire were bathing together. Noire sighed, "It's not just a clean wooden body, but makeup is a problem. Uni looks beautiful without makeup."

Vert said, "Well… And here I thought you'd be acting crazy."

"Don't be ridiculous… Uni is like someone to talk to."

"Oh…"

Vert washed her hair and said, "Well, anyways… I wanted to apologize for earlier…"

"For what?"

"Well, you were obsessed, only…"

"Yeah… I thought about it, and you're right. I overheard your talk with Blanc… and the answer is no."

"You tell her… I'm…" Vert sighed and said in sadness, "I accept your act at Leanbox, but I won't be present. I decided to quit being your agent… not that I was. But I was worried about you. I mean, this is all because you wanted to have company."

"Who told you?"

"Blanc. Oh… Speaking of, you're going to perform in Lowee, next week, at Super Ninten Land's Anniversary Opening."

"Oh, tell Blanc I said thanks." Noire was suddenly sad, realizing, "Wait… You won't leave me…"

"Well, I can visit you. You're… Obviously cracked… But it's relaxing for you. You just needed company, since you and K-SHA had a fallout."

"I know… But she said to me… Bring that stupid flat-chested mannequin home, and I'll smash it apart." Noire stated, "After a fight, we agreed… Uni stays home, as long as she stays on the shelves, and stays there gathering dust. That's why I axed Uni. Only because… She's part of the family."

"You sure?"

"Yes…" Noire sniffled, "And after that, K-SHA left me. She said that she doesn't know me, anymore. We're not gay. She's just into me, like we're lovers."

Vert said, "I didn't know. Maybe you need to apologize to K-SHA… and maybe leave Uni in Lastation. Or… You can travel the world, and leave her in storage."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Noire cried, as she held her bare breasts on her arm, "NO! I mean… … … Uni… She'll be so sad." She sniffled, "But I am leaving Lastation to Leanbox, to get away from Uni. That's all. She'll remain in my home, in storage… and after that, when my career ends, I can have a happy life with Uni."

"It's not going to make you a star, if you keep having delusional thoughts about Uni!" Vert complained. "But it's the right thing to do. Leave Uni in Lastation, and use Nepgear in Leanbox. Nepgear is adorable, and she is like my own sister…"

"She talks the way I talk, she does things when I don't do it, she gives me bum cues. She's alive. You just don't believe me."

"I believed you… and I believed you may have obsessions. I mean, you don't need Uni. But it's eating you alive. You can lick it in Lastation, but not anywhere else. Uni's a Lastation Wooden Dummy. That's one reason why K-Sha left you."

"I'm fine. I just wanna leave Uni, for a very long time. I decided to leave her in the trunk, and bring her back to Lastation."

"Well, I can't stop you. But you have to beat this. Give K-Sha another chance. Leave Uni somewhere in the vault, the warehouse, anywhere! Uni is just a toy for your unhappiness. Uni helped you get over your breakup and sadness… but she's not a permanent family member!"

"We'll see." Noire sighed.

Vert then asked, "Well… I guess that's it. Nepgear it is, then. OH! Can you get me a dummy that resembles Nepgear, and with my Leanbox colors?"

Noire smiled, "They're Lastation Dolls. So… For you, yes." She sat down, "And… I'm sorry I lashed out."

They continued to have a bath, as Nepgear tipped to Uni's side. Uni let out a tear from her eye, as Nepgear leaned onto her shoulder.

After the bath, Nepgear and Uni were packed away. Noire said to Uni, "It's the way it is, Uni. Your next show is in my bedroom. You're a part of my family now… Consider yourself retired."

She locked Uni in the trunk, and went to Nepgear and said, "And you, welcome to Noire and Nepgear. NO! Nepgear and Noire! Nah, my name is always top billing." Noire kisses Nepgear on the forehead, and she whispered, "See you at Leanbox."

Noire left her dressing room, and locked the door. She walked down the street, as it was nighttime. Through the dark streets, Noire felt happy and relaxed. She pranced away, and she giggled, "Oh, this is wonderful… Now I can have all the time for myself…"

Noire continued to prance away, until…

"Noire… How could you?"

Uni's voice was heard. She stopped and whispered, "Uni?"

"How could you, Noire? I thought you loved me."

"No… It's just my imagination." Noire sighed, walking off. She ran into a woman in black hair, "Excuse me… You seem ill."

"Sorry. Overworked today."

"Overworked? You abandoned me!"

Noire shrieked, as the woman asked, "Something wrong? Tell me."

"Did you hear her?" Noire cried, "That voice… It's…"

"I don't hear anything…"

"Yes you did, Noire! You are me!"

Noire cried, "NO!" She shoved the woman away and cried, "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

She dashed out to the alleyway, and she heard Uni's evil laughter. She saw a mannequin in the shadows, resembling Uni.

"Hey! Hey, Garibaldi! Garibaldi!" Uni's voice called out. Noire dashed off, as she shrieked, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Uni's voice called to Noire, "I loved you, Noire… I wouldn't lock YOU in a trunk! DO I?"

Noire shrieked, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Returning to the stage, Noire was panicking, as she was in the pitch black empty auditorium. Uni called out, "Here now, stranger! Slumming it? Funny thing happened to me on the way to Lowee. I was in Player 2's Mansion. I was in the foyer, out front in the foyer! And there were foyer ghosts! One-two-three-foyer! AHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

She ran back to the dressing room and barked, "UNI!" She saw the trunk was empty.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Come out, come out, wherever you are~!"

She gasped, "Vert! This isn't funny! Where's Uni?" She saw Nepgear and held her. "Nepgear… Protect me." The lights went out, and she yelled, "AGH!"

She dashed out in the dark, and roared, "UNI, WHERE ARE YOU? No… VERT! VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!"

She escaped with Nepgear in hand. Noire growled, "That does it… I'm burning this place down…" Nepgear spoke, "NO! That's bad. You'd want to end your career as an arsonist?" Noire huffed, "Oh, blow me, four-eyes!" She thought aloud, "Hm. Maybe Vert was right. I needed help."

She was controlling Nepgear, who's a legit doll. She walked around and said to Nepgear, "Stay here."

She went inside the dressing room and said, "Uni? Uni, where are you? This isn't funny." She grabbed a blunt object and said, "Uni… Come out…"

"Oh, please… I wouldn't be THAT serious."

"Uni, this isn't funny! I know it's you, Vert!"

"Is it? Why don't you sing? I hope you're not satisfied, like in the song…"

"If it's not Vert…" She called out, "Vert, I don't know what you're doing, but Uni's not yours! You can't have her!"

"HEY, WISEGUY! WISEGUY!"

Noire was in the dark, and she sobbed, "Where are you…?"

Eyes flashed in the dark, and Noire yelled, "AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

SMASH!
Noire smashed the dummy, and she roared, "DAMN YOU! YOU DON'T SCARE ME, VERT! YOU! DON'T! SCARE! MEEEEEEEEEE! I BLAME YOU! VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!"

She felt a glassy crack, and whispered, "What?"

The light turned on, and Noire was shocked to learn who she smashed. She smashed Nepgear's head into pieces. Noire covered her mouth in fright, "No! Nooooooooo… I smashed the wrong dummy… Nepgear… Nooooooooooooooo!"

She bawled and cried, knowing the destroyed one of her best dummies. As she was crying her heart out, a figure appeared behind her and her eyes flashed a bit.

"Maybe you need glasses…" It was Uni. Noire turned around, and Uni was on the couch, all alone, seated. She hissed, "Why don't you take the Eye Chart Exam? I have a letter here. It's one of the vowels in the alphabet, and it's between D and F. No peeking. No peeking…"

Noire went to Uni and looked at her back. She whispered, "What? It's… Impossible…" Her panel on her bare back was open, but no hand inside to operate her. Uni the Doll was alive.

"I don't believe it… You're… I was right. You're alive!" Noire was in tears of joy.

"Of course… You moved my lips, you moved my eyes, you put words in my mouth, you jerk. You made me what I am." Uni spoke, moving her puppet mouth, "I hope you're happy now…"

Noire smiled, "I am… Uni… I–."

"Save it, Noire!" Uni barked, "Don't come near me! How would you like to be locked in a trunk? See how that feels? What do you say? What do you say… we work out a deal?"

"A deal?"

"Sure… You said "Noire and Uni". But I was thinking "Uni and Noire". I'm the star attraction. Maybe because they love puppets. And you took care of me, unlike your new girlfriend."

"I'm not a lesbian."

"You're not a star, either. I am."

"K-SHA was a one-time fling! She left me, because of you!"

"Of course… It's always you and her, together… but never me."

Uni spoke in a stern voice, "Remember the days we had? We bathed together? We had dinner together? We watched TV together? You even perform cosplay and VO scripts to me, and I was in the audience, along with your stuffed animals. Don't you see? You made me who I am. Screw Vert. And her theories. She doesn't know. In fact, she thinks we're alive, and it's all a two-person show."

"Oh, don't be stupid, Uni! You're not real!" Noire barked to Uni, as she showed her arm, "LOOK! Your skin is real, and you're made of wood, inside! SEE?" She peeled off a piece of Uni's fake skin, showing white wood. She gasped, "AH!"

"Noire, that was uncalled for." Uni barked.

"But… But how? This is not Lastation Wood. It's usually tan and brown. Bu… But I…" Noire was speechless, "No… You mean…"

"With every love and care you give me, Noire, I grow more human, every day." Uni said, as she winked.

"It can't be… How can you be alive? You're just a wooden mannequin, built by me!"

"Thank K-SHA. The moment she left you, she said that she wishes that you were the dummy, and maybe she can see how you like it, when you're in an incinerator. Don't worry. We're in this together. We don't need that yandere slut. We have each other."

Noire was shaken, as she thought, "K-SHA… She did what? But that was just a threat. An empty threat."

"Actually… It was a wish. You wished for me to be alive, now I am returning the favor." Uni's arms slowly moved, holding her hands, "Let's be together forever. I love you… Noire…"

"I love you, too…" They held each other, and they kissed. They continued to kiss, as Uni reached for her back. She unzipped her dress, and Noire moaned, "W-Wait… It's too soon… I'm not into this… relationship yet… All the way…"

They liplocked, as Uni thought, "Don't worry, Noire…"

JAB!
"It's not."

Noire's voice spoke, as everything went black. "I love you… Uni…"

Days later at Leanbox, Vert was onstage, as the fans applauded, "Welcome, once again, to Leanbox's Comedy Hour, bringing you stars from all of Planeptune City. I am your hostess, Lady Vert of Leanbox. And to open our act, hailing all the way from Lastation, the sisterly comedic styles of Lady Noire and Uni!"

Noire and Uni appeared on the stage, as Noire spoke, "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. It was a long way here. A funny thing happened to me on the way here, I met this guy from abroad."

Uni responded, as she turned to Noire, sitting on her stool, "Oh, don't be ridiculous, Noire. You mean Broad Street."

Noire then said, turning her head to Uni, "Look… Why don't you let me tell the jokes, okay?"

Noire continued to tell her joke, as the audience in Leanbox applauded. Noire & Uni were a smash hit. As they were fans of Noire – The Funny and Witty CPU Dummy in all of Lastation.

That's right. Uni was the ventriloquist now, and Noire was her dummy. They swapped places, and Uni was now human. Uni smiled, "Believe me, there's more where that came from, Noire…" She winked to the 4th wall, and Noire continued to talk, moving her doll-like mouth.

Vert smiled, as she enjoyed the act, "Now that's a performance."

XXXXX

Uni placed the Noire Dummy down and said, "We're a hit! I knew you were famous. And don't worry…" She placed Noire in the trunk and said, "I still love you. If all goes to pot, your next show will be in the wood chipper."

She locked the trunk and said, "That's showbiz. Hahahahahahahahaha…" She walked out, snickering. She was outside her door and sniffled. She sobbed, "Noire…"

JAB!
Noire's spine was jabbed by Uni's touch. And then her eyes glazed to a glassy red. Her arms dropped, and Uni sat up, holding the lifeless Noire. Uni whispered, "Thank you… Noire… I always love you… and I still do…"

Noire spoke, moving her new puppet mouth, "I love you, too, Uni."

Uni hugged her and cackled, "Hahahahahahahaha! Yes… Yes! I'm free! I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAA!"

Her sobs turned into quiet laughs. But then her laughs turned into psychotic cackles. Laughing hysterically, raising her arms out, and with her eyes widened and demonic, Uni was now free, and Noire was her ventriloquist dummy, forever.

(Hanajima): In some cases, what's known in the parlance of the times as "The Old Switcheroo", from boss to blockhead in a few uneasy lessons. And if you're given to nightclubbing on occasion, check this act. It's called "Uni & Noire", and they're located in the glitzy and glamorous nightclubs in Lastation, along the "Black Night Way" known… as the "Tales of the Bizarre".

NOTE: You guessed it. This was a retelling of another "The Twilight Zone" classic. This time, of course, is "The Dummy" from the 3rd Season of the original 1959 series, its 98th episode. This is perfect to see Uni & Noire together, as in the case of Jerry & Willy (the man and dummy in the episode, and vice-versa).
And yes, this is OUTSIDE the Neptunia canon, but hey, at least give a CPU Candidate a role as the villain, for once.

Good Night, Noire… Wherever you are…