You walk into the dance hall, shivering from the cold from the rain your date insisted you'd walk through without using your umbrella. It was quite odd though, as it was the middle of spring and it was the dead of night. You snuck in through the dance hall via the air vents only to get ghosted on your first date. At first, you wait for your knight in shining armor to arrive, imagining him to be the dreamest man you've ever seen. Then, you start getting restless. What if he forgot about you? What if he accidentally swiped left on you and didn't want to make you feel bad? What if he simply just didn't care about you?

You're about to leave, but suddenly, you hear a voice stating to "let me in." You yell out OK in response, and open the dance hall doors. But there's no one there. You ask where he is, and he states that he's right behind you. You think you're going insane. You tell him to stop joking, he says he's not. You feel like you're about to cry. You tell him to grow up, and he says you're full of shit. You yell in a fit of rage that he's the one full of shit, and he needs to stop NOW.

Then, you feel a chilling touch on your left shoulder. It wasn't chilling in the way you'd expect it to be. In fact, it was more like a massage than anything. It was chilling in the way that it was so abrupt, like a teacher issuing a last minute email about a huge project. But before you can think about literally anything, you feel a soothing touch on your right shoulder. You feel an odd sense of relief with this combined with the feeling of the touch on your left shoulder, like you're sitting right beside a fireplace on a freezing winter night.

And then came the best part.

You feel your body constricting as the feeling from your shoulders spreads throughout it. Your brain is telling you to run away as fast as you can, but your heart is telling you to stay. You feel like your mother has just given you a comforting hug after a stressful situation when you were young. You feel like you are floating, and the mysterious voice says that he wanted the first date to be a special one. You tell it thank you, completely unaware that from an outsider's point of view, you would look odd.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.

That's what he says to you once the clock strikes 12:00. Weirdly enough, you're upset but at the same time, you're relieved, like a Lego brick that you stepped on before you had a orgasm. You say goodbye to the mysterious voice, but before you do that, you ask what its name is.

"Neil." He says. "Neil Cicierega."

You tell him goodbye (for real this time) and he floats right past you into the midnight wind, with you just realizing something:

There's nothing better than the warm embrace of a soft, fuzzy man.

Thank you so much for reading! I wrote this for Halloween, and obviously, it's inspired by the song "Soft Fuzzy Man" by Lemon Demon. It's such a good song, and I really wanted to capture my interpretation of the song in this writing piece, along with some of its lyrics. I would highly recommend giving it a listen if you haven't yet, and listening to it again if you have! Leave a review if you like what you see or tell me what I can improve on! All feedback that isn't hate in disguise is welcome :)