It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me.
It's been over 13 years since I last updated this fic. I have no excuse. My hyperfixation just shifted to a new fandom and I started writing under a different pen name.
Then Gundam SEED Freedom came out this year and dragged me right back to the GS fandom. I went back to read this expecting to be embarrassed by my old writing but was surprised to find the story had good bones. I may go back and edit earlier chapters at a later date to flesh them out more, but for now I'm committed to finishing what I started more than a decade ago.
I do hope you'll find a notable improvement in writing quality in this chapter compared to what I wrote when I was still a teenager.
To say King Siegel Clyne was furious would have been an understatement.
"Do you have any idea the jeopardy your actions have put us in?" he demanded, his voice echoing through the cavernous throne room from where he sat atop the raised dais.
Below him, the six members of the special forces team stood shoulder to shoulder, Athrun and Dearka at the center flanked by Yzak and Nicol on one side and two new members selected to replace Rusty and Miguel on the other. Athrun hadn't even had time to learn their names before they'd all been ushered in to give a full report immediately upon their arrival at the palace and Cagalli and Miriallia were whisked away elsewhere by the housekeeper.
"We can't afford for this international incident to escalate into something more. More than a quarter of our population was lost to the last war. Cities across the kingdom are still rebuilding. Another conflict of that level could very well wipe us off the map. I understand that there exists a…" he paused as if choosing his words carefully, "a history of sorts between you and the Princess of Orb and perhaps I am partially to blame for believing that you could put that aside in regards to your professional responsibilities as a soldier of Zaft…"
Athrun winced. "Sir, if we just wait for Kira's return, I'm sure…"
"And in the absence of the King, Queen, and Princess, who do you suppose is left in charge?" He let the implication hang in the air a moment before continuing. "Do you think the son of Unato Seiran will hesitate to open fire on us all?"
They were interrupted by a knock at the door before it swung inward, admitting a red headed man carrying a sealed document. "Pardon my intrusion, sire. There's been a new broadcast from Orb."
"Bring it here."
The man hurried forward and up the stairs of the dais to pass the envelope to the king before quickly retreating again.
"Thank you, DaCosta."
King Siegel's blue eyes, so much like his daughter's, skimmed the report which had been handed to him, his face betraying nothing of the contents before he looked up and his gaze fell upon Athrun.
"They're saying that you assaulted a member of the royal family and kidnapped the princess. They demand her immediate return and that we also hand you over should we wish to avoid this escalating."
Dearka stood with his mouth set in a grim line. "Sir, I was the one who assaulted Yuna Roma Seiran. Not Athrun. I acted in defense of the princess and I take full responsibility for my actions."
The king's gaze shifted. "Perhaps that is the truth. But perhaps it is also true that in cases such as this, what people choose to believe happened matters far more than what actually occurred."
"What if we answered their broadcasts with one of our own?" Nicol wondered aloud, speaking for the first time since they'd entered the throne room. "Let Princess Cagalli address the rumors of her disappearance herself so that her people can see that she's safe."
"They'll just say we're holding her at gunpoint off camera and making her say those things," Yzak scoffed.
"Still, we have to try something," Nicol went on. "They'll kill Athrun if we hand him over. And if what he and Dearka told us is true, then what sort of life would we be condemning the princess to?"
"Better one man than the number of lives that will be lost if we go to war again," one of the new members cut in, an angry edge to his voice.
"Shinn," his blonde companion said in a warning tone.
"What? It's true. It's his fault we're in this mess, isn't it?"
"You're out of line, Asuka." This time the warning came from Yzak, surprising even Athrun who was used to being on the receiving end of taunts from his silver haired teammate.
"Despite my disagreement with Athrun and Dearka's decision to bring a member of the Orb royal family into our kingdom to seek refuge without first consulting me, I want to be clear that I have no intention of simply handing over any citizen of Zaft," King Clyne said in a voice that brooked no further argument. He paused a moment, looking at each member of his special forces team in turn before his gaze finally landed on Athrun. "And what do you think of Nicol's suggestion that we ask Princess Cagalli to broadcast her own statement?"
Athrun paused, considering for a moment. "I think we should include her in the conversation and ask her what she thinks our next steps should be."
A silence descended upon the room as the two men looked at each other for what felt like far longer than the brief moments that actually passed before King Clyne nodded his assent and stood. "It's late. We'll continue this discussion tomorrow morning. Ask the princess to join us." And with that, he swept out of the room, leaving the six members of the special forces team alone in the throne room.
"What the fuck were you going on about, Asuka, trying to hand Athrun over to Orb?" Yzak demanded less than two seconds after the door had closed behind the king, marching toward the man in question and grabbing his jacket by the lapels. "Some teammate you are."
Shinn shoved Yzak back a step. "And why shouldn't we? It's him or the kingdom, right? Think about all the innocent lives that'll be lost if we go to war again!"
The blonde soldier whose name Athrun still hadn't learned stepped between them, one hand out toward each of them to keep them from coming to blows. "Shinn…Yzak…"
Shinn huffed and turned on his heel, stalking out of the room. The other man smiled apologetically at the remaining group and extended a hand to Athrun and Dearka in turn. "I'm Rey Za Burrel. Sorry about Shinn. Try not to take it personally. He lost his parents and younger sister in the last war," he explained.
"He's not the only one who lost people," Yzak snarled, but Athrun and Dearka simply shook Rey's offered hand and offered their own introductions since they'd been away during the months Shinn and Rey had been hired onto the team.
"I think it's been a long day for everyone," said Nicol, ever the peacemaker.
"He'd better get used to it, because we're probably going to be in for one hell of a week," Yzak said, though his voice had lost some of the edge from before.
"I'll talk to him," Rey promised as he exited.
Athrun, Dearka, Yzak, and Nicol were left standing alone at the center of the now otherwise empty room.
Yzak was the first to break the silence. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I need a drink."
"I'll join you," Dearka agreed. "Nicol? Athrun?"
"No, thanks," said Nicol. "I'll catch up with you guys later."
"I'm going to pass this time, as well." As much as Athrun would love to catch up with Nicol and Yzak under normal circumstances, his mind was on nothing other than finding out where Cagalli had been taken and getting back to her.
He bid farewell to the rest of the team and made his way out into the hallway where he was surprised to find one of the palace staff, a red headed young woman who introduced herself as Meyrin Hawke, waiting for him.
"The Princess of Orb and her attendant have been settled into rooms befitting someone of her station and she's asked to see you," she explained. "If you'll follow me, please."
The rooms Cagalli now occupied certainly were fit for a princess as they had once belonged to Princess Lacus Clyne before her marriage to Kira had taken her to Orb and made her Queen Lacus Yamato.
The suite was larger than her own bedroom back home with an attached sitting room for receiving guests. The sun had been setting through the floor to ceiling windows that lined the far wall when they'd first been shown in, tinting the sky and gardens beyond a muted rose gold, but it had long since disappeared beyond the horizon as palace staff members bustled around, readying a room that hadn't been used in more than a year for their unexpected guests.
A bath had been drawn for her and she'd stayed soaking in the oversized tub long after the water had gone cold, taking advantage of the solitude it afforded her. Everything had happened so fast that day and it was the first time she'd been left alone to truly process it.
When she finally emerged, the curtains had been drawn, the overhead lighting dimmed, and candles lit. The overall effect was quite lovely, even if the furnishings and decor were a bit too pink for her tastes.
Most of the palace staff had exited by this point, leaving only Miriallia conversing quietly with the final remaining staff member in a corner of the receiving room. They both fell silent as Cagalli entered.
The woman she hadn't met yet, a red head perhaps a few years younger than herself, broke it as she stepped forward, asking, "Are you hungry, Your Highness? We can have dinner sent up from the kitchens for you."
Cagalli's stomach growled, answering the question before she could and the color rose in her cheeks. She hadn't had the chance to eat all day but hadn't realized it until this moment. "Yes, please."
The other woman dropped a curtsy and backed toward the door. "Certainly. I'll have it delivered shortly. Please let us know if there's anything else we can do to make your stay more comfortable."
She hesitated a moment, long enough that the palace staff member had already reached the door that would take her back out into the hall and had her hand on the ornate doorknob before Cagalli spoke up once more. "Actually, there is one more thing."
"Yes, Your Highness?"
"I'd like to speak with Athrun Zala tonight if possible."
"I believe he and the other members of his team are currently in a closed meeting with King Clyne, but I'll see what I can do," she promised before taking her leave.
"I hope you're not going to expect me to start curtsying and calling you 'Your Highness' now" Miriallia remarked as the door clicked shut and left the two alone.
"I'd think something was wrong with you if you did."
Cagalli sank down onto the plush cushions of a pastel sofa at the center of the room and Miriallia walked over to join her, holding out a cloth wrapped bundle as she sat.
"I had them bring up some ice already," she offered in explanation.
"Thanks." Cagalli took the bundle from her friend's outstretched hand and held it to the lump she'd been able to feel forming on the back of her skull when she'd washed her hair from where she'd hit the edge of her dresser on the way down. "How bad does it look?" She hadn't been able to bring herself to look in the mirror yet.
"Pretty bad." Miriallia had never been one to sugarcoat her words for Cagalli's sake. "The marks on your neck are unmistakably fingers and now that the swelling in your cheek has gone down a bit, you can tell there's going to be a nasty bruise there. I did think to grab some of your makeup when we were packing so we might be able to cover the worst of it."
"Not much point, is there? I've already been seen by at least ten different people since we arrived. The entire palace will know by now."
"They wouldn't dare–" Miriallia began, but she was interrupted by a knock at the door. Their dinner had arrived.
The next knock at her door didn't come until several hours later.
Miriallia, who had been in the process of checking Cagalli's head lump, went to answer the door with the ice pack still in one hand and quickly stepped to the side to admit their visitor when she saw who was on the other side.
Athrun's eyes landed on Cagalli and for a moment time seemed to stand still.
Miriallia looked between Athrun standing just inside the door to Cagalli, still seated on the sofa. "I'm just going to go see if I can get some more ice," she said, stepping out into the hallway and closing the door behind her without waiting for a response.
In a few strides, he was at her side and lowering himself to one knee before her so he was at her level. His eyes studied her face intently and one hand came up to cup the side of her face, thumb brushing gently over the bruise that had blossomed across her cheekbone.
"How long?" he asked, voice strained. There was no need to elaborate further.
"Since about three months after I got married," she admitted. "But this was the worst it's been."
"Does Kira know?"
He knew the answer before she could voice it. "No, of course not."
Athrun nodded. He'd thought as much. He couldn't see Kira simply sitting by and allowing such a thing to happen if he had the slightest idea anything like this was happening to his sister.
He shifted his position, rising to sit beside her on the sofa. There were countless other things he wanted to ask her but none as important as what he needed to say to her.
"Cagalli, I hope you know that I would never…" He paused, struggling to find the words to adequately express the thoughts racing through his mind. Never what? Never put his hands on her in anger? Never force himself on her? Both were true but somehow still didn't seem enough.
She reached over, placing her hand atop his and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I know."
He nodded again, not trusting himself to speak just yet. His eyes roved over her face, taking in the dark purple bruise on her left cheekbone before falling on the darkened outline of a hand at her throat. It took everything in him not to march back to the docking bay and fly back to Orb to commit the assault he was already being accused of and then some.
His hands curled into fists atop his thighs, fingernails digging into his palms and a silence settled over the room as he fought the urge to do just that. Then he felt her hand still atop his, thumb brushing over his knuckles as if she were the one trying to comfort him and that was what broke him.
His arms encircled her waist, pulling her to him and gathering her against his chest as his shoulders shook with the force of his sobs. "I'm sorry, Cagalli…I'm so fucking sorry…" he murmured against her hair. "I had no idea… and I should have…and I should have done more back then…When I heard you were getting married, I had half a mind to show up and try to stop you but Yzak and Dearka talked me out of it and I wrote that letter instead…and it wasn't enough…you never even got it."
She held tightly to him, her own tears staining the front of his shirt. "What matters is that you're here now."
"I'm not going anywhere this time. I swear it to you. We'll find our way through this together."
They stayed like that a while longer, Cagalli with her face pressed against Athrun's chest and her head tucked beneath his chin as they held onto each other like the other might vanish never to be seen again if they loosened their grip. When she finally drew back, he gently wiped the tears from her cheeks and then pressed his lips to hers.
"I can't stay much longer," he whispered as he pulled back. "They'll notice if I'm not back in the barracks tonight."
"I understand. It's ok. They offered Mir her own room but I wasn't sure if I'd even get to see you at all after they separated us so I asked her to stay with me for at least tonight. I hope my being here hasn't caused you too much trouble."
"Only the usual amount," he said in a half-hearted attempt at teasing.
It worked and she smiled. "Really, though? How bad is it?"
Athrun sighed, raking a hand through his hair. He'd hoped to put it off until the morning. "They're saying we've kidnapped you and demanding that Zaft hand me over immediately if we want to avoid another war."
Cagalli gasped and shot to her feet. "I have to go back."
He caught her by the wrist, tugging her back down onto the sofa. "King Clyne has already made it clear he's not just going to hand me over. He was close with my parents before they both died in the last war…" he trailed off at the thought of his mother and father, who had both been killed when a building collapsed after being bombed during the war. He shook his head to rid himself of the memory, focusing instead on the problem at hand. "As for the threat of war, Nicol suggested that perhaps you could broadcast your own statement countering the claims
"Let's do that then." She stood again and he tugged her right back down.
"Rest tonight. You need it. Tomorrow morning is soon enough."
She opened her mouth as if to protest again, but Athrun cut her off, sealing his lips over hers in a kiss that effectively silenced whatever argument she'd been about to make. When they parted after a moment, he leaned his forehead against hers, whispering, "Rest, Cagalli. You need it."
Amber eyes opened slowly to meet his emerald gaze and she finally nodded, acquiescing to his request. "Okay."
He smiled and pressed another gentle kiss to her lips then her forehead as he stood. "I'll see you in the morning. First thing, I promise."
"I'll hold you to it," she teased as she walked him to the door and gave him one final parting embrace before opening it to find Miriallia patiently waiting in the hallway with the new ice pack in her hands. But she wasn't alone.
Meyrin was standing with her, the two seemingly having a polite conversation while they waited.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were waiting for me," Athrun apologized when he saw the woman who had shown him to Cagalli's room. "I can find my own way out." He'd spent enough time in the palace wandering the halls with his father as a child and during his engagement to Lacus that he suspected he knew the layout better than most of the staff.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I've been instructed to bring you to King Clyne's study."
Athrun's eyes met Cagalli's where she still stood in the open doorway of her quarters and he could see her concern reflected there. He sighed and motioned for Meyrin to lead the way.
Would this day ever end?
Any returning readers from when this was originally published? If so, I'm so, so sorry! I always complain about how long George RR Martin is taking to write Winds of Winter and here I am, guilty of the same offense.
This is being simultaneously cross-posted on AO3 under my account slytherclaw91 if you prefer to read there. After I finish this here, I intend to fully move only to publishing on that platform.