Chapter 32

Emma's throat convulsed painfully as she walked to her room, concentrating on each footstep while trying to maintain her composure. But each step away from Aedan felt like a rift forming between them, and her control snapped. Silent tears rolled down her face, leaving streaks of white through patches of black soot. At the sound of his footsteps closing in on her, she panicked and ran, unable to deal with any more emotional scenes. He caught up to her easily and stepped in front of her.
"Wait! Just-." He saw the tears and gathered her in his arms. "Ah, shit. I'm sorry, Angel."

She struggled against him, her arms flailing. Angry at him because he'd seen her cry, angry at herself for wanting to stay in his arms. "Don't..." She hiccuped as she tried to get her emotions under control. "Don't do this now. I can't deal with anything else today."

A ball of fear bounced in the pit of her stomach and she renewed her attempt to free herself. All she wanted was a small corner where she could curl up and lick her wounds. Aedan backed her up to a wall and pressed his body against hers as his fingers tucked under her chin and lifted her face. "Don't do what, Angel?" He dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers. "This?"
Her breath caught in her throat. "Aedan..."
His thumb stroked under her eyes, catching the tears and smearing the dirt. "Will you give me a chance to apologise?" He kissed her forehead. "And to explain."

There was a weighted silence, but then she gave a small nod and he led her to their room. They turned the corner of the corridor and he smiled at the innkeeper, who passed them, carrying a large, empty wooden bucket in each hand. Aedan pushed the door open and ushered Emma inside. She immediately spotted the large metal tub filled with steaming water and smelling of jasmine.
She turned to Aedan. "When did you manage to get this done?"
He chuckled. "I had a quick word with the innkeeper before chasing after you. He's been running back and forth with buckets while we talked."
She glared at him. "You were pretty confident that I'd come back here."
He shook his head. "Not at all. If you hadn't agreed to hear me out, I would have given you the key to this room. After what you've been through today, I'm not going to let you sleep on a small, hard bed."
Her gaze softened and she quickly turned back to the bath to hide it from him.

"Why don't you get in the tub, and I'll start talking." She pulled off her cloak and grimaced at the smell of burnt wood that wafted from the material as she laid it on the bed. Her boots and dress quickly followed, then she climbed into the hot, fragrant water, sighing happily as she sunk into its warm embrace.

-x-

He watched her undress, devouring the sight of her creamy skin and glorious curves. When she climbed into the tub, he bit back a silent curse and discreetly adjusted himself. He gave his unrepentant penis a severe talking to, reminding it that now was not the time. It worked, right up to the moment when she let out a breathy moan; well, it might have been a sigh, but his brain couldn't distinguish the difference.

He shifted slightly and focused his eyes to a point just past her shoulder so he could talk without distraction. He considered how to start the conversation and his desire drained away; nothing like hurting the one you loved to kill the mood. He sat on a nearby chair and took a moment to collect his thoughts. Aedan lifted his head, ready with a prepared speech, and found her leaf-green eyes upon him. The impact of her beautiful but sad gaze drove all sense from his mind. Before he knew it, he was on his knees at the side of the tub, words tumbling from his mouth, "I'm so sorry, Emma. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was terrified when I realised you'd been taken, and then I found you lying on the floor, so still and pale, and I thought I'd gotten there too late again."
Emma watched his knuckles turn white as he gripped the rim of the tub tightly. "What do you mean by 'again'?"
The blood drained from his face so quickly, that she immediately reached for him.

His eyes were unfocused as they drifted down to where her hand held his wrist. "When Howe attacked Highever Castle, I teamed up with my mother and we went to check on the rest of our family. But Oriana and Oren were already dead, and by the time I found my father, he was close to death. I was too late to save any of them." His breathing was shallow and his eyes flickered with images of the past. "When I found you, for just a moment I saw my father lying on the floor, his blood pooling around him. All I could think was that I'd lost someone else that I loved."

He swayed on his knees, and Emma climbed rapidly from the tub, heedless of the water splashing over the side and helped him onto the bed then pressed his head down between his knees. His hands clenched at the sheets as he fought back the dizziness. She kept her hand on his back, stroking and soothing him.
Finally, he rubbed a hand over his face. "Sorry," he rasped. "Haven't spoken about that night before."
"Are you all right?" The concern in her voice warmed him and eased the sharp pain of the memories.
"Yeah, thanks." He scrubbed a hand through his thick black hair. "Damn it, I was trying to apologise."
She pressed her forehead to his temple. "You did, Aedan."
He drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly before asking the all-important question. "Do you forgive me for being such an idiot?" A shudder worked its way across his shoulders and from her peripheral vision, she watched a tear trickle down his tired face.
She took his hands in hers and turned him towards her. "I forgive you, Aedan, on one condition; next time you get angry with me, please wait until we're alone before you say anything. You were right in that I made some stupid mistakes, but I could have done without the audience."
"I meant to. Maker, I promise I meant to wait. But I kept thinking of how close you came to dying, and then suddenly I was just spewing all this rubbish."
She leaned forward and brushed his lips. "Well, it wasn't all rubbish. I should have let you know where I was going. That was just idiotic of me, and I'm sorry for causing you more worry when you already have so much to deal with."

He wrapped his arms around her and flinched at the touch of her cold skin. "Angel, you're freezing." He fetched a towel and rubbed the remaining droplets from her hair, then patted her dry before putting her in bed. He stood there, unsure whether he should stay or go, but she reached out and took his hand, tugging him towards her. He smiled and pulled off his clothes before climbing in next to her. The day's events caught up with them almost immediately, and they fell asleep wrapped firmly in each other's arms.

-x-

Emma smiled at the familiar thrumming sound close by, yet the cause of the noise continued to elude her. She searched for the memory, becoming ever more frustrated as a dark barrier blocked her progress. An overwhelming need to remember clawed at her mind, urging her to retrieve what she'd lost. She tentatively touched the barrier, and her fingers slipped into a firm gelatinous goo. She recoiled, partly from the unpleasant sensation and partly from a vicious pain that ricocheted through her skull. Moving closer, she noticed sickly green and black markings all over the obstruction, and a fissure running from the top in a diagonal slant. She lifted her staff and poked at the crack, expecting the pain in her head this time, although the severity made her pause in her efforts. Emma breathed through the agony while trying to figure out a way to reach past the barrier without causing herself any further suffering. She reviewed what she knew so far; this had to be a dream, and the barrier seemed to be a part of her brain, hence the reflected pain when she touched it.

A thought suddenly occurred to her that the colouring looked similar to a fading bruise, and she recalled hitting herself on the head with her staff whilst drunk and trying to copy the moves of... of who? Damn it! The information... the memory was right there for her to grasp. A slight movement rippled across the barrier and she thought that the crack had widened a little. Perhaps she didn't need to touch it at all, but reach in with her mind and pull at the missing memories?

She fixed her attention on the weakest part of the barrier, searching for the missing part of her mind. She gasped at the sharp stabbing sensation that shot through her skull but kept up the assault. She focused on her previous thought; who had she been trying to copy? Abruptly a vision materialised of a dark-haired woman spinning a staff before banging it on the ground. Emma knew the woman like she knew the back of her hand. She clutched tightly at the partial memory, straining at the effort to- Hawke! It was Hawke from Dragon Age 2! She had time to raise her arm in a triumphant fist pump before a landslide of images, sounds and scents assailed her.

As the onslaught slowed, she managed to pinpoint the cause of the sound that had driven her to fight for her memories. The image she focused on showed a big black cat sprawled across the sofa, his body vibrating with a deep rumbling purr. She awoke with tears streaming down her face; how could she have forgotten her cat, Jess?