Ashfur sighs deeply as his eyes open to perceive the same den walls as the last few days already. Drawing his fist conscious breaths after waking, he tastes the smell of herbs in the air. Having had stays in the medicine den of multiple days before, the scent bothers him little. Slowly he raises his head from his bedding, shaking a few small pieces of moss from his neckfur, only to be reminded of the reason for his presence here, as the motion still causes discomfort to spark up in his back. His back is already far better than it has been, during the first two days of his stay this would have caused him very real pain, now it was more akin to a quite bothersome discomfort. Still there are four more days to go… four more days before he may finally leave. Four more days before he will have to live up to his promise to Lionpaw, and his own first training session at the paws of Talon. Looking down at his paws, un- and resheathing his claws several times, the tom has to admit to himself that he dreads the former every bit as much as he looks forward to the second. Days spend doing nothing have allowed his thoughts to run rampant, his hope for to improve and his curiosity to learn more about Bloodclan and it's ways having been reoccurring frequently during this time. Sadly though, these thoughts have still failed to keep his mind from wandering to Squirrelflight every so often. The presence of both Leafpool and Jaypaw having helped little, although the latter of the two seems to try his best to stay out of the den at almost every opportunity currently, for which Ashfur was grateful, though it makes him wonder why. Usually being away from most of the clan in the medicine den suits Jaypaw from what he could tell. Is Ashfur the issue? Perhaps his presence really does bother the medicine cat apprentice as he had speculated a few times. Leafpool on the other paw seems not to mind the tom, checking up on him fairly regularly, beside Hazeltail, whom has joined Ashfur in the den as patient. Apparently the she-cat got her ankle stuck on a branch of brambles while hunting, twisting it somewhat badly and the thorns stabbing into it. Ashfur looks over to the brown fur laying in a nearby nest, peacefully rising and falling as the she-cat still slumbers, before motion in the back of the den draws the grey tom's attention to it. Leafpool once more sorting leaves into neat little piles. Ashfur watches without a word. So calm and seemingly well focused on whatever she's doing at the time, so very much the opposite of the spontaneity and whimsy of her sister. With a displeased hum, the grey tom lays his head down as he once more notices his thoughts turn towards the orange she-cat, the longing clenching down inside his chest. Patience, just patience. Change will come, he'll just have to show some diligence. He'd managed so far, what's a few more moons at this point? If he could only know for sure that he will finally have his heart's singular desire by the end of it, he'd be willing to endure several more seasons. The wonderful memories of their earlier courtship flash by before Ashfur, easing the ache for a brief moment as he reminisces, before it returns in force. He never saw the end of it coming, it had caught him entirely by surprise. For moons he'd wondered if he'd done or said something wrong, but to the best of his ability he failed to find anything. Maybe he just grew too soft in that time. Being wishlessly happy, maybe he should have kept pushing himself more. Maybe Brambleclaw overtook him without him taking notice, too blinded by Squirrelflight's splendour too see the concurrence until he could no longer compete. But now that will change, just four more days… what's four days compared to the seasons he'd now felt useless for already.
His ear flicks and he semi-consciously takes notice as Leafpool approaches, leaves in her maw to chew up into poultice.
„Good morning, Leafpool"
The medicine cat nods her head in return, still holding leaves in her maw as she carefully removes the cobwebs from Ashfur's back. Knowing the drill by now, the grey warrior shifts lightly to grant the she-cat easier access to the wound, patiently waiting for her to do her work, his gaze turning to the den's entrance. There is mild discomfort as he feels the poultice being applied, significant improvement from the first days where the pain of it would make the tom claw at the ground. He sighs softly as he feels the nimble paws of Leafpool applying new cobwebs moments later, flicking his ear. Outside he can spot Icepaw and Foxpaw playing, joyfully laughing as they play-fight, rolling over the clearing's ground and being a general bother. A small smile forms on Ashfur at the sight of his young kin enjoying their youth. Still so young and free of worries. Ferncloud is likely watching them from the nursery.
„There, all done. You seem to be feeling a bit better again"
Ashfur looks over at Leafpool as she steps forth from behind him, the wound now nicely covered once more.
„Thank you, Leafpool. Do you think I could go by the nursery?"
The tabby medicine cat sits down, flicking her tail behind her as she looks over the tom
„As long as you don't wander much further or strain your back, it should be fine. Please don't wander much further though, it hasn't healed fully yet and could tear back open."
Nodding slowly, the grey warrior slowly rises up on his paws with a gentle grunt as he puts his weight on them for the first time in days.
„I won't leave the camp. I'll be back soon. Maybe without me you can lure Jaypaw back into the den for a moment"
The she-cat's whiskers twitch, though as Ashfur looks at her he somehow can't shake the feeling her amusement is less than earnest this time. Is he right in his assumption that he's the reason Jaypaw is staying away at every opportunity? He has not much love for the snarky apprentice, but can't recall ever having done him any wrong. Or is Jaypaw still holding a grudge for his rough training session with Lionpaw a little while ago? He might be putting Leafpool in an uncomfortable position if he were to inquire. Keeping his suspicions and wondering from showing, he nods his head in goodbye to Leafpool before stepping outside the den. Taking a deep breath of the chill forest air, he pads over to a familiar pair of eyes, as expected overlooking the clearing from the nursery. Ferncloud looks up, her expression growing into one of warmth and joy as she spots her brother's approach, coming forth from the den to meet him halfway.
„Ashfur! How are you feeling? Is Leafpool letting you go?"
As the two siblings meet, they exchange caring licks over each other's ear
„Not quite yet. But she lets me outside if I don't run off. How have you been, Ferncloud?"
The two grey pelted warriors walk side by side to settle down beside the nursery, trying to catch whatever warmth the sun is still willing to give so late in the year, their breath slightly frosting before them.
„Icepaw and Foxpaw seem to be doing well. They will become great warriors, like all your kits, Ferncloud"
The green eyed she-cat purrs and nods, her content eyes wandering back to the two young cats still playing.
„They grow up fast. They seem happy with their mentors. Whitewing and Squirrelflight are taking them hunting later today"
The joyful demeanour in Ferncloud's face changes as she realises after a few heartbeats what she said, sending a checking glance over to her sibling. Ashfur is watching the two young apprentices play with a neutral expression, but it doesn't escape his sister's notice that his right paw's claws have unsheathed and embedded themselves in the ground. Ashfur notices his littermate's look and sighs, the claws retracting at the hint of worry and sorrow in her eyes. She knows, how couldn't she. She'd always know when something was amiss with him. Before Ferncloud can attempt herself at an apology, Ashfur stops her, laying his tail on her shoulder
„You said nothing wrong. Those are their mentors and I'm sure they are doing well as such. Squirrelflight is a great hunter and able warrior, she'll teach Foxpaw well"
His attempt to keep his voice neutral fails only ever so slightly as the pain in his chest flares up with intensity. He doesn't doubt his words, the orange she-cat is indeed a great huntress. Watching her moving gracefully through the underbrush or moving with silent elegance over the branches of the trees had been a great joy to the tom when they were together. They regularly hunted together back in those days, and she'd proven her ability as a warrior not too long ago during the border fight with Windclan, fending off one of their warriors that had gotten past him as he along with Lionpaw and a few others held them back at the border. She'll do well mentoring Foxpaw. Just like everything else she does. Just now without him.
„I don't know how to help you, Ashfur. I wish I did. I see that it is still hurting you, even now after all these moons…"
Realising that he'd been staring emptily ahead, Ashfur returns his gaze to his sister, finding her remorseful eyes staring back at him. She leans in against her sibling, delivering caring licks over his shoulder, causing Ashfur to sigh quietly. Ferncloud cares, of course she would. The tom has to confess to himself that his sibling's sympathy is somewhat soothing, to know his kin still cares, even when the clan doesn't. But she shouldn't have to worry about him. He swore to protect her when they mourned their mother, and she has kits to raise. Foxpaw and Ice paw may have decent mentors, but they still need their mother, and they have the best one in all Thunderclan.
„It's alright, Ferncloud. I think that maybe I have found something that will help. I'll try"
Ferncloud's head raises up, looking at Ashfur with attentively perked ears and a hopeful shimmer in her green eyes.
„I would be happy if that's so. What have you found then?"
Ashfur shoots his sister a small smile. He can't quite tell her, she would worry for him, knowing he's meeting a Bloodclan cat. She might not even be wrong to do so, but he shouldn't be even more of a burden to her.
„Well, first I'll need to get out of the medicine den for a start. And ideally get Lionpaw's mentoring done as soon as possible. Though, that should not be too much of an issue, he has the talent to pass his assessment almost already. I just wish he were a little more humble, but he will become a strong warrior for Thunderclan"
Ferncloud nods, her demeanour warmer once more after hearing Ashfur's hopeful words, shooting him a content gaze before looking out into the clearing once more to observe her kits. Ashfur follows her gaze, relieved that his littermate doesn't seem to have noticed him dodging the actual question. With a bit of luck though, his words would turn out true. Growing stronger, becoming Thunderclan's strongest warrior, it's the only real chance he still has. Besides turning Lionpaw into a powerful warrior of course, but despite his difficulties their progress on that is going well for the most part. Squirrelflight's son will be a great warrior after his mentorship. But he will be greater yet. Only four more days.
Turning his head to see an all too familiar orange pelt walk into camp with fresh-kill hanging from her jaw. Four more days… and then things might slowly begin to change at long last. His eyes follow Squirrelflight as she moves past to lay down her catch on the fresh-kill pile and greet Foxpaw. All he needs is time, training, and then an opportunity. Windclan has been so very eager to get into fights with Thunderclan lately, he will have his chance. He will learn, grow stronger than Brambleclaw could ever hope to be and show it off right in front of Squirrelflight when the time comes. The very last reasonable thing he can think of, but it will work. It has to work. It must work. His eyes keep following Squirrelflight still as she leaves the camp again, now with Foxpaw in tow, the young one eager for his training today. It must work, Ashfur keeps reminding himself, not noticing the deeply worried look of Ferncloud, watching him as he's subconsciously clutching his chest again at the sharp sting within.