POV: Kiana
The fallen pillar was wider than her outstretched arms and at least five times her height. It was polished white and would have supported the interior of one of the many now ruined buildings. None of the structures near where she found it were missing a pillar, so it likely had been thrown from one end of the island to the other. The pillar must have weighed several tons, but her powers over telekinesis raised it clear into the air as easily as she could lift a fork or a spoon.
I'm glad my powers can do more than destroy and kill things. I'm glad I can use them for good.
This pillar was larger than the rest, and she had grown tired after hours of exertion. Raising it was easier than keeping it raised. Carefully keeping the pillar levitating close to her, Kiana rose into the air, pinpointed a building on the opposite end of the island, and flew over to it. She carefully set it on the ground before opening a portal and pulling out several more pillars like it from her pocket dimension and arranging them on the ground beside each other.
The construction foreman walked up to her and nodded gratefully. "Thanks for your help, Miss Kaslana. It would have taken ages to transport these pillars across the island without you."
Kiana smiled. "I'm glad I can help. Is there anything else you need me to do?"
The foreman briefly inspected his checklist. "You have the rest of the day to yourself. We can handle the rest from here. You're welcome to stay anywhere you like in the residential complex near the center. Good thing it escaped most of the damage."
"Alright. I'll be back tomorrow," Kiana said. She rose into the air again and gazed at the vast, floating island below her.
Schicksal HQ was a marvel of engineering that still amazed her. It was not her first time visiting, but she still felt dwarfed by its immensity and its ability to remain in the sky despite its weight. Its foundation was constructed from innumerable tons of stone and earth excavated from the surface below before being reformed into a floating island near the size of a city. It boasted of technology that outstripped the rest of the world. Not even Anti-Entropy had constructed anything that approached its complexity and scale, although Kiana was confident they could if they put their minds to it.
For all her amazement, the island also held painful memories. It was here where Otto conceived so many of his plans that harmed so many people. It was here she was recaptured by Otto and the Herrscher within her made to reawaken, and it was here where her reign of terror began. She was almost glad that the Herrscher of Sentience had ravaged the island during her own rampage.
It was Otto's island no more, Kiana reminded herself. He was long dead. Now it belonged to Theresa, and from here, she would lead Schicksal and their world into a brighter future. For that to happen, Kiana needed to continue her work to help repair it, but more would wait for tomorrow. Exerting her Void authority was draining, and she had already done so for hours on end. The amount of labour needed seemed endless. The island was vast, and little of it was left untouched by the Herrscher of Sentience's wrath. As the foreman had said, the residential area was fortunate to be one of the few exceptions.
Kiana liked the foreman and the rest of the construction crew working on repairing the island with her. A part of her was still apprehensive about how others viewed her, knowing she was once the Herrscher of the Void who had unleashed so much wanton destruction, but her image gradually began to improve the more she used her powers for good. After the defeat of the Herrscher of Domination, members of Anti-Entropy, most of them complete strangers to her, congratulated her with smiles and cheers. The construction workers, she was relieved to learn, had also accepted her the moment she arrived, and not only because she was there to help relieve their workload. They accepted her for who she was. They spoke with her like one of their own.
The world is healing. The people are healing, and so am I.
Rather than fly to her assigned housing, she decided to walk. She disliked an overreliance on her powers, as versatile as they were. Kiana preferred to look at the island from eye level up close. Even with the extent of the damage it suffered, there was still a certain beauty to its architecture and design. She wandered past fallen buildings, damaged railways, and a desecrated, bronze statue of Otto Apocalypse, whose decapitated torso lay motionless as its smiling head stared at it from a distance away. That was one detail she was content to leave unrepaired. After a few minutes, she came across a pile of rubble blocking her way. Even though she was finished with her workload for the day, the sight of it displeased her. Summoning her powers once again, she hoisted it into the air above her and looked for a place to set it.
It felt heavier this time. Most of her energy had been spent, and she would not fully recover until tomorrow. Her exhaustion forced her to set it down again. Sighing, she sat down on the pile and smoothed out her silver hair.
Theresa must have it even worse than this. I can't imagine how heavy her responsibilities as Overseer must be. I have faith in her since she's never let any of us down, but she's still only one person in charge of most of the entire world.
Theresa's idea to move to Schicksal HQ was a sound one. Being in control of the island would benefit them in several ways, but a change in location could not solve every problem. Their problems were not confined to Schicksal alone. Their true enemies were outside Schicksal's control.
The Honkai. World Serpent.
Kiana often wondered about the true nature of that organization. In theory, they were a force for good, one that defended humanity from the always-present threat of the Honkai. The Honkai was World Serpent's enemy as much as it was anyone else's; the Honkai did not choose sides, and it did not care for humanity's petty disagreements. They were all the same to it. World Serpent, Schicksal, and Anti-Entropy should have all been allies, but World Serpent's methods made that impossible.
They came so close to wiping out Arc City and everything around it. If this is their idea of protecting humanity, I don't want to see them at their worst. And Kevin. My ancestor. The first Kaslana, the origins of my oath and my blood. If he's anything like the rest of our family…anything like Kallen, Theresa, and my father, he would never agree with what World Serpent has done. So why did he do it?
Kiana sighed. Their day of reckoning would come. One day, they would have a confrontation with Kevin Kaslana, World Serpent's Sire.
And when that day comes, you'll be there with me, Mei. You chose me over World Serpent. I wish you were here with me now.
At the same time, Kiana was glad she was not. Mei was her own person with her own life. She should not accompany Kiana wherever she went. Sometimes, they needed to spend time alone and apart. They already had for too long after Sirin awakened and Mei joined World Serpent, but this time, she and Mei had both agreed that Kiana would work on the island on her own. They had chosen this solitude. It was not forced on them like the times before.
Choice. That's what matters in this world. We make our decisions with our best judgement, and whether good or bad, we accept the consequences of them. That's being a responsible person. That's who I am now. It's who I need to be.
As she continued to sit on the pile with her eyes closed and her breathing calm, her thoughts drifted against her will. They drifted to him.
Johann…you made your choices, too. You chose to side with Otto, then you chose to come back to us. What are you choosing now?
Kiana's hand moved over her heart.
Did you choose to move on from me? From all of us? Why? Why did you come back at all if this is what you're doing now? Do you regret it? Do you miss your family this much?
Kiana never knew Kallen Kaslana. She died centuries ago. She never knew exactly what kind of woman she was, but she did know that she was a true Kaslana who lived up to her name. It was not difficult to see why Johann loved her as much as he did.
Kiana wondered if he, in his deepest, unconscious memories, loved her for the same reasons. If he had been drawn to Kiana for the same blue eyes and silver hair as Kallen's. If he did, Kiana did not mind because she knew he loved her for her own person, not for who he used to love.
Kiana rose to her feet and stared at the accursed pile of rubble again, more determined this time. She was a Herrscher. She would not lose to a pile of inanimate debris. Power surged, and it was lifted clear into the air once again, but as soon as it did, Kiana's thoughts betrayed her.
Or does he? He spent ten years with Kallen. With their daughter. People can change so much in even one year. If…if he's moved on from us, and he can't move away from his family…that's his right, no matter how much it might hurt. But it hurts so much…
She gasped as her fears sapped away her already depleted strength. She was still too exhausted to be exerting herself like this. She was about to drop all of it and send it crashing down -
The pile of rubble remained suspended in the air on its own even as she released her hold over it. She stared at the sight. It could only mean one thing.
"Are you alright, Kiana?"
The voice from above was the last she expected to hear. It was warm, caring, and almost like how it used to sound. She turned to it and saw him a short distance above her, keeping a careful hold on the debris with his own powers of telekinesis.
"Johann…"
Johann's feet slowly made contact with the ground. So did the pile, which he carefully set aside. He stepped closer to her but maintained a certain distance between them, both physical and emotional. Kiana watched his approach, hopeful but wary.
"Why are you here, Johann?" Her voice was not as kind as she wanted it to be.
"Because of you, Kiana."
The way Johann said her name was warmer and softer than she hoped to expect.
"I have to see you," he continued. "There are things I need to say to you, things I've held back for too long."
Kiana dared to hope, but she could not ignore the distance he continued to keep between them. A strain still sounded in his voice. His eyes were still weary and forlorn. He made no move to come closer and embrace her.
"Johann, before you speak, let me ask you something first."
He slowly nodded.
"Who are you now? Who am I speaking to? Johann Stern, my captain who loves not only me but those I also love, or Johann Apocalypse, the man who only loves Kallen Kaslana? Before we talk about anything, please answer this." Her words came out harder and with more of an edge than she intended, but she was glad for it. It would convey her feelings more than they would otherwise.
Johann heard her question and remained silent. Kiana's eyes never strayed from his. To his credit, he did not look away.
At last, he spoke.
"My name is Johann Apocalypse, eldest and only son of Friedrich Apocalypse and Lilika Schariac. My cousin is Otto Apocalypse, youngest son of my uncle, Nikolas Apocalypse, the two hundred and twenty-fifth Overseer of Schicksal who took me into his household to raise as his own son after the deaths of my mother and father. This is who I am. This is who I have always been and always will be. I thought that man died long ago. I abandoned his name for centuries and took on a new one, but I can no longer run from who I am."
His answer hurt her, but at last, she knew. She fought back her tears and was about to turn away when he spoke again.
"But I am not defined by my origins nor my name. Who I am is not what I am. What I am is decided by what I've done and what matters to me. Kiana Kaslana, you matter to me. You still do. You never stopped mattering to me, not even during those ten years I spent happily with Kallen and our daughter Lilika, who we named after her late grandmother."
"Johann…"
"I may have forgotten you at times. I even asked Sirin to shield me from my memories. I did this because losing you was too painful for me to bear. I could hardly carry on as long as I still remembered how much I loved you and all the others. For the sake of my family, I had to focus on them and only them. But I never asked Sirin to take away my memories of you forever. When I needed strength, I looked back on all the moments we shared, the moments where we were so happy together. I told myself that I wanted my world to be able to have those same safe, happy moments. Kiana, you gave me the strength to carry on, and I wish to thank you for it."
His words moved Kiana. She had not realized how important they all remained to him even when they were worlds apart. The conversation they had through the portal made it clear how much his new family mattered to him. But Kiana and the others still mattered to him so much that he was left in pain at their parting, and even the love from his wife and daughter could never fully heal the void they left in him. Kiana did not know how she should feel now. She wanted him to be happy. Even if it hurt her, she was happy for him if he could spend the rest of time with his newfound family away from her.
But you can't anymore. So why did you come back? Why did you come back to me?
Kiana's legs no longer supported her. She collapsed onto the pile of rubble. "Do you still love me? Right here, right now? How do you feel about me, about all of us? Are you ready to accept us like we used to be before…before all of this?"
"I love you, Kiana." Her heart soared before he spoke again. "But I'm sorry. I can't love you the way I used to. I'm not ready. I…I can only love one."
"One? Who?" It must be Kallen. Who else could it be?
"Theresa."
Kiana's eyes grew wide before she almost laughed. This came as no surprise to her. Theresa and Johann had always been close from the moment they met. He was their captain, but she commanded him as much as he commanded her. They were polar opposites at first glance: Johann was a tall man who lacked powers aside from his skills at leadership. Theresa was petite but one of the strongest valkyries Schicksal had to offer. Despite their many differences, they had even more similarities, the foremost being their shared fondness for the Hyperion, which they had both captained at varying points.
Theresa and Johann were close, closer than a commander and valkyrie ought to have been. More than once and like with Himeko, Kiana even wondered if they were secretly hiding a relationship behind closed doors. Kiana used to tease Theresa about never finding a partner despite her age, hoping to get her aunt to tell her whether she had in fact found one in him. It seemed that now, she finally did.
Kiana stood. "I'm happy for both of you. I truly am. I always thought that you and Theresa might end up together one day. So…when…when can you…"
"Theresa and I have agreed to take things slowly for now. Maybe one day, we can all be together again. But for now, I can only help you with the repairs on this island."
"Is that why you came here? To help me?"
Johann finally moved closer to her. He extended his arm, but it was not to embrace her nor even to run his hand through her hair like he used to. Instead, he offered her his hand.
"Kiana, take my hand. I'll transfer my Honkai energy reserves over to you since you must be pretty exhausted by now. You'd never struggle with something like that pile otherwise."
She looked at his hand, then at him. "Are you sure? Do you even have enough spare energy to bring me back to full power? Remember that you barely managed to beat me back when we fought in Kolosten. Oh, right. I'm still pissed about that, just so you know."
He looked ashamed. "Yes. It wasn't my decision, at least not at first. Otto programmed a directive into my Soulium body that prevented me from doing anything against him. Fighting you was my only option…but then Sirin freed me from his control during our power struggle. I could have stopped then. I could have joined you and turned against him, but I didn't. I wanted to save Kallen…"
Kiana remembered Otto's dying words in the ruined cathedral. Johann never intended to leave them for another world. He only wished to revive Kallen and rejoin them after Otto's death. Otto had done this to him against his will. Theresa had said as much during the conference before Kiana left for Schicksal HQ.
"I…I understand," Kiana slowly said. "It's good to know that you hadn't gone completely crazy back then."
He smiled. "As for my energy reserves, I have more than enough for you. I've grown stronger since then, so I'm asking you to accept my help. I want to heal the rift between us as much as you do."
Kiana smiled back and took his hand. "Then let's do this." She felt a surge of immense power rushing into her body, restoring her aching limbs and depleted strength. It was soon over. When he released her hand, she felt as if she had woken from the most refreshing sleep. All her fatigue had gone. She was ready, and Johann seemed unchanged from before.
How strong has he become? As strong as Kevin, maybe?
"Thanks, Johann. Let's get to work."
—-
They made faster progress together than either could alone. Their mastery over teleportation, spatial storage, telekinesis, and flight meant that they covered the entirety of the island within hours, much to the delight of the construction crews. Kiana was drained again by the end, but not as much as she was before. In contrast, Johann seemed tireless, his reserves of energy endless. He did not seem to exert himself at all as he lifted untold tons of material and moved them to where they needed to be.
"I did this before," he told her as they worked. "Otto's 'plan' to rescue Kallen from execution involved releasing every Honkai beast from under the Grand Cathedral. They would have devastated the entire city. But with my powers, I helped clean it up much faster."
Kiana had not expected him to speak so freely of his past or his experiences in the other world. From him, she learned more about his family and the world they lived in. She learned that Johann had ushered in a technological revolution with the help of Void Archives and that the duty to defend his world from stronger Honkai threats fell to him. Despite all that he said about his world, he did not speak of more personal matters.
"I think we're done," Kiana said, inspecting the results of their labour. "We've dealt with the biggest problems. We can leave the rest to the construction team." She took him by the hand. He flinched slightly but did not resist. "I know where to go. Follow me."
They stood atop the wall that lined the perimeter of the island and gazed at the breathtaking sunset, bathing in the multicoloured rays of light that pierced through the clouds to reach them. It was beautiful.
"It's just like that time on the Hyperion. And then on the Ferris wheel in Soukai City," Kiana said. "Do you still remember?"
"I do."
"I live to see beautiful things like this. I fight to protect our world so that people can live to see beauty like this every day."
"I know. So do I."
"That's good."
A large cloud drifted between them and the sunset.
"You did well today," Johann said.
"Well done to you," Kiana replied. "Your void powers are even better than they used to be. You must have had a lot of practice using them over those ten years."
He turned to her. "I had a good teacher. You taught me well, Kiana. When my powers first showed up, I could only use them by instinct. But then you taught me yourself how to master them. I wouldn't be here if not for you."
Kiana remembered his clumsy initial attempts to use his void powers after his impassioned but failed attack against the Herrscher of Sentience and after he was freed from Sirin's influence. Kiana insisted on teaching him to control his powers. The initial results were as humorous as they were disastrous. His first subspace lance was half-formed and missing the end. The next one exploded in his face, but it was so weak that it failed to damage him. He could not teleport a distance greater than the length of a room, and he could fly even less. Once, he even trapped himself inside his own pocket dimension and was unable to escape until Kiana unlocked it for him. All of these things Kiana did as easily as she breathed, but her patience with him was without limit. She spent hours teaching him the basics of what they could do; once his instinct and adrenaline wore off and he needed to consciously activate them, he was almost like a child learning to walk. Her patience was soon rewarded. After his initial failures, he began to learn well and quickly. Kiana was proud of him.
And throughout all of it, she knew Sirin was in his mind, watching.
Kiana still found it difficult to accept that a part of her was joined with him. After waking up in bed together during their last day together in Soukai City, she felt an inexplicable change between them that she could not describe. She only realized the truth when his powers finally manifested against the Herrscher of Sentience, and she felt different ever since. The monster and mistake she feared she was lived on in him, and Kiana wanted to take her back. She did not care that he gained new powers to protect himself and others with. Sirin was too much for anyone but herself to live with, and Kiana's fears were proven right after Sirin took over his body and nearly killed her with his own hands.
Even after that, Sirin's soul continued to exist within him. She was weakened and nearly powerless, but still she lived. Kiana sometimes tried to pretend this was not so, but it was.
"I know. You were a great student. You learned so quickly," was all she said.
Johann seemed to relax at hearing that. "I've been told that more than once. Oh, and Kiana. I heard from Theresa that you and Mei finally reunited. She abandoned World Serpent for you. I'm happy for both of you."
"Yes, she did," Kiana agreed. "It…it wasn't easy for either of us. She ran away from me in Kolosten, and it took weeks for her to come back. But she did. And when she did, it was like she never left."
"...Did she tell you that she met with me on the Hyperion as we were flying to Kolosten? That we…" He trailed off, the unspoken words obvious to them both.
"She did. I'm not angry, just so you know. I can't blame her for choosing to see you first. She wasn't ready to see me again yet, and I'm not sure if I were ready, either. What matters is that now we're together again." Kiana knew what Johann and Mei had done together that night. Mei had confessed her emotions and her fears, and then he reciprocated them. When Mei told Kiana, she held no ill feelings toward either of them. She could never fault Mei for what she herself felt for him. "Mei is the reason you're back, you know," Kiana said.
"What do you mean?"
"You don't know how many times I tried and failed to bring you home. I searched through so many worlds of the Imaginary Tree that I lost count. I couldn't count them even if I tried. They all rushed past me, and I never found your world. Weeks and weeks went by, and I still couldn't. But now I know why." Kiana gathered her thoughts from that difficult time. She had never felt such a sense of failure before then. "Our powers are affected by our emotions. The more in control we are of ourselves, the more we are in control of our powers. I wasn't in a good state of mind back then. At all. Mei abandoned me right after we reunited, and I didn't know if she were ever coming back. Otto was dead, and I didn't have an enemy to focus on anymore. You were lost in another world, and from the start, I wasn't sure if I could find you. And if I didn't truly believe I could find you, I was never going to." Her feelings of hopelessness and failure from those several tense weeks were long past, but still she remembered them. But they were over. She would not be troubled by them again. He was here with her.
"Kiana…how did you?" His voice was different. Softer. Warmer. Like it was before.
She smiled. "It was Mei. It was all thanks to Mei. When she came back to me, my heart was healed. I was lost before then. Lost and scared. My powers weren't working like they should. But when she came back to me, I knew I was ready to find you. My emotions were at peace. It still wasn't easy…but you're here with me right now, aren't you?"
"I am. I'll need to thank Mei the next time I see her."
"She's waiting for us back at the base. We can go see her."
"We should."
"Could I ask you something first, though?"
"Of course."
"Is Sirin still with you?"
The question seemed to affect him. He slowly nodded. "She is. She's here right now. She has been for the past ten years, and she's helped me greatly. Don't worry, Kiana. She isn't who she used to be. She's changed so much and for the better."
Kiana wondered what exactly the state of Johann and Sirin's dynamic had become, whether she avoided him entirely or had grown close to him. She was still unsure how to feel, but she trusted him. Sirin had changed for the better once before. Kiana was living proof of that. It was good to know that Sirin still could.
"That's good to hear. I'm glad Sirin has changed. I thought she never would, but she did. Then again, she already did. I'm living proof of that."
Johann smiled like he used to. "You are."
A thought suddenly came to her. She considered it and was close to rejecting it before her words spoke for her. "Can I speak with her?"
"Kiana? I…alright. She says it's okay."
Kiana stared into his eyes, hoping Sirin could see her. She took a deep breath. "Sirin, I want to say that I hope you've finally found peace. Peace with your existence. Peace with humanity. I hope that those ten years you spent with Johann, knowing his every thought, hope, and fear, showed you that we aren't all disgusting creatures who ought to die. We're not all like the people who hurt you in Babylon. We're capable of love and kindness, and we will die to protect those things. I hope that one day, you can finally be happy. I know you can do it. I'm Sirin, too, and right now, I am happy. I'm happy because I have people I love who love me back. Sirin, I hope that Johann loves you for who you are, too."
Kiana waited.
Johann spoke.
"Sirin says that she has found peace, and she thanks you for your words. She says she hopes you can find it, too, and she apologizes for all the harm she's caused you and those you love."
"Is that all?"
"Yes. But let me speak for myself this time." Johann turned back to the falling sun. "Sirin is dear to me. She's become a part of me. I cherish her, no matter what she used to be. She's changed. She's become who she should have been."
Kiana smiled. "I know."
They gazed at the sunset. Kiana felt true peace like she had not felt for so long. Standing at his side, reminiscing on their pasts, speaking of things like this, it was something she feared she would never do again. She only wondered what it was that he needed. Was Theresa enough for him? If he found someone to truly love again, would he forget about Kiana again?
"Johann, I have just one more question. What will you do now?"
"I suppose I'll return to the Salt Lake base and do what I can to help there until it's time for Theresa to fly back to Schicksal HQ."
"That's not what I meant, and you know it. I'm not the only one asking you, either. Mei. Bronya. Seele. Fu Hua. Welt. Rita. They all want to know how long you'll keep them waiting."
He sighed. "I'm sorry, Kiana. I can't. I can't do what you want me to do, not yet. I have so many things I need to come to terms with first. I can't promise you anything except that I will try."
Kiana rested her hand on his shoulder. "Just showing up here today to help me proves that you are trying. Thank you."
"..."
"Alright. Let's go back to the base. I'm sure Theresa and the others will be delighted to learn that we've finished early."
"Alright, Kiana."
"Fly with me."
Kiana leapt off the wall before rising to his level again. She beckoned him over before he started floating over to her.
"Ready?" she asked.
He looked back at the island and then at her. "Let's go home."
Together, they flew toward the sunset.
Keep trying until you succeed, Johann. So that one day, you can be the man I love again. No matter what your name is.