(Scenes from Legends of Tomorrow Season 3, Episode 11)
TW: suicidal thoughts and attempt
The one thing that irritates me, besides Rip's recent escape from custody, is Miss Tomaz tampering with my operating system. She has conveyed an agenda to reshape her family's destiny. Although she knows the cardinal rule of time travel, she resolves to defy it. I have listened in on her telling Dr. Palmer that she isn't a hero or a team member. Whether it's because she doesn't plan to, she's strongly determined. That's going to change.
The Legends' latest mission is to return a displaced Napoleon Bonaparte from the early 1970s. Miss Tomaz opts out of it mostly due to the costumes. So, the captain assigns her to a standard maintenance check on the Waverider. Instead of doing simply that, the crafty hacktivist has something else up in her flannel sleeves. She has contrived a simulation program that can detect loopholes. Unfortunately, it has never been properly tested. "Are you sure about this, Miss Tomaz," I ask. "Captain Lance did not give you authorization to initialize this program."
"That's because I didn't ask for authorization," she answers. "Now fire up the auxiliary generator."
"Even with the reserve power, I don't believe my system can run your simulation software."
She gallivants to the engine room, where she tinkers with the wires she assesses shall procure her software package total utilization. "Gideon, trust me."
"Trust is something that grows between friends over time," I discern her. "As far as I know, we are still acquaintances." I can dissuade her incessantly if I want; notwithstanding, she won't listen.
She enters the bridge with absolute confidence. Stopping at the central console, she prepares to kick-start the new application software. "Question, Gideon: who's ready to have 1.12 terawatts of power diverted straight into her CPU?" Not me.
"I'm not sure if your calculations accurately stabilize the surge. We should talk about this before proceeding."
"No time," she stubbornly refuses. "We have to run the program before the team gets back."
I activate the lights throughout the entire aircraft. "In that case, I suggest you hurry. The team has returned on the jumpship from their mission."
"Okay, screw it." Miss Tomaz pushes ahead with her initiative. However, the power overload unsurprisingly causes the neural engine to malfunction. "Gideon, what's happening?"
"I was gonna ask the same question." Captain Lance's voice draws her attention to the Legends' entrance to the bridge. "I thought you were going to fix the ship."
"Yeah, that...," the hacker beguiles, "the maintenance check took longer than expected. The ship's a mess. I had to re-initialize Gideon's alpha drives." She tries to mask the panel showing the onerous download from her. "So, how it'd go out there? Good mish?"
Mr. Rory walks in from the other side entrance. "I had to pry this cassette from Shorty's fingers."
"He means Napoleon Bonaparte," Dr. Heywood clarifies.
The drunken arsonist reads the title on the cassette. "'Waterloo'. Who writes a song about losing a war?" He throws it down on the floor and doggedly stomps it to pieces.
"Anyway, it was great," Dr. Palmer chirps. "Even though half our band missed the cue for our big encore." Dr. Heywood and Miss Jiwe, both embarrassed, avert their eyes.
"Yeah, where were you guys," the captain asks them.
Dr. Heywood fails to come up with an apt excuse. Luckily, Miss Jiwe voices, "It was my fault. I was just not used to walking in these go-go boots. It won't happen again, Captain."
"Right," she objectively defers, allowing the relieved duo to escape. "Gideon, let's check the historical records, see if everything's back on track."
My face is projected over the console. "According to the historical records, the battle of Waterloo is back on track. Napoleon did surrender..." That's when I start glitching. I told Miss Tomaz I couldn't handle this. "And the French troops withdrew..." My digital countenance is swiftly dispelled, much to Captain Lance's puzzlement. I couldn't see anything, but I could still hear them.
"Gideon? Where did she go?"
"The ship's functions are still operational," Dr. Palmer diagnoses, "but it looks as though Gideon's neural core has been fried."
The captain infers this mishap has Miss Tomaz's name written all over it. "I asked you to perform a routine maintenance check."
"I did run a maintenance check."
"And maybe something else," Dr. Palmer deduces.
"Something you want to tell us about? Or show us?" I suspect Miss Tomaz is blocking the captain's way because... "Oh, do not make me move you."
Dr. Palmer senses the animosity, urging, "You should just tell her what it is. Last thing we want to do is get Sara mad."
Both women are confused by that statement. "Why's that," the brunette inquires.
"Because... high blood pressure. It takes years off your life."
"Okay, fine. You win. I uploaded a synchronous, multi-model simulation program into Gideon's neural core."
The captain implores, "A simulation program for what?"
"To see if there are other loopholes in history that we could exploit."
"'We'? You mean you can exploit."
"You're trying to hack history?" Dr. Palmer chuckles in disbelief before he realizes what she intends on doing. "What exactly are you trying to change in 2042?"
"Oh, I don't know, Ray," she derisively mouths. "Maybe I'm trying to figure out how to stop my home from becoming a dystopian nightmare?"
"Look, Zari," Captain Lance declares, "I let the Helen of Troy thing pass. I even let it slide when you tried to prevent Martin's death, but you need to understand we are in the 'fixing anachronisms' business, not the 'hacking history' business. Now, please go fix Gideon."
Miss Tomaz gets annoyed. "Hey, maybe if you would stop bossing me around for a second, you would see this is a good idea."
"I said, 'Please'." The captain's patience is running low. "And even if I didn't, bossing you around is part of my job as captain."
"Yeah, and it's really easy to take you seriously in that outfit."
"You know, this whole apathetic cool girl thing, it's not as cute as you think. If you want to be a member of this team—"
"Member-ish. This was always a temporary arrangement. I was never planning on sticking around for long."
"Then so, as long as you are on this ship, I am your captain, and if you don't like it, you can stop sticking around."
"Aye, aye," Miss Tomaz sardonically remarks. Her treading boots signal her leaving.
"I'm gonna kill her."
"Wait! Sara, no!" Dr. Palmer trips over his boots and falls hard on the floor.
Presumably, Miss Tomaz hasn't reached the exit since the captain insists, "Just fix the ship."
"'Just fix the ship'," she mutters under her breath in the engine room. "Yes, Captain. Of course, Captain. Could I kiss your ass, Captain?" As Miss Tomaz is repairing the damage to the engine, she gets sloshed with its fluid. "Damn it! Of course! All right, Gideon, you back online?" No response. "Gideon?" An explosion incites the ship's obliteration. "Holy..." What she doesn't know is that she has set my plan in motion.
Miss Tomaz is taken back to the bridge, where she's chided by Captain Lance. She remembers hearing her telling her to 'stop sticking around' if she doesn't like it here. "Are you gonna say something," the captain questions, expecting a retort.
Thrown back by the occurrence, she answers, "Yeah, what the..." In case you're wondering, the last word she uttered is a four-letter expletive I refuse to repeat.
Neither she nor Dr. Palmer can understand her attitude or choice of words. "What's wrong with you?"
She inspects herself to see if she's still covered in engine fluid. Her red and black flannel shirt is clean. "Nothing, I think. Didn't we just have this conversation?"
The unknowing captain assumes she's mocking her. "Yeah, 'cause you keep making me repeat myself."
"No, that's not what I meant." A bewildered Miss Tomaz walks out of the conversation. Her change in attitude confounds the captain.
Dr. Palmer warns her, "Sara, don't get mad. I'm sure Zari could fix..." He tries to stop the former from going after the latter, but he once again trips and lands on his face.
"Just fix the ship," the captain demands her.
"Yeah, okay. Sure." Instead of mindlessly abiding by her order, Miss Tomaz rinses her face a few times. "Deep breaths. No one's going crazy. It's probably just something I ate." She goes to see Mr. Rory. "I'm busy," he bellows upon answering the door.
"Right. You've done a lot of time traveling. Have you ever had déjà vu?"
He asks in a blasé tone, "What's that?"
"Oh, it's French for 'already seen'."
"I hate the French." Just like that, he shuts the door on her and resumes his work. Miss Tomaz makes her way through the corridor when she overhears a private conversation in the library. "I'm mortified, Nathaniel," Miss Jiwe confesses. "I mean, we could've derailed the history of France, and for what?"
"For what? Have you not seen your outfit? It totally would have been worth it, and I'm a historian."
This doesn't quell her misgivings. "We never should've given into the temptation."
"But we did. I can't stop thinking about you."
"We can't put the team at risk. All right?" She places her hands on his broad shoulders. "Until we can figure out a way to behave professionally, we'll have to forget it ever happened."
A lovesick Dr. Heywood breathes, "I can't."
"Just try." She departs from her paramour, unaware of Miss Tomaz's presence at the door. The latter walks in, saying, "Nate."
He conceals his heartbreak without effort. "Yeah... Amaya and I were just comparing notes on the last mission." She doesn't buy it; she doesn't want to talk about it either.
"Did you notice anything weird happen a few minutes ago?"
"No, not really."
"Nothing with the ship?" She asks Dr. Palmer the same couple of questions in the lab.
"Well, let me think about it." He mulls it over a bit. "Nope, nothing out of the ordinary. Hey, aren't you supposed to be in the engine room? Sara told you to fix Gideon. The last thing we want to do is..."
"Make Sara mad," she finishes.
"Yeah, you know what they say. 'Happy captain, happy ship'."
"No one says that, but whatever." She remains unconvinced and returns to the engine room, where she fixes up the ship again. "'Happy captain, happy ship'. Stupid." As Miss Tomaz repairs the circuits, she notices a familiar tube loosen from its position. She foresightedly prevents herself from renewing her prior contact with the hyper-fluid. "Huh." Securing the loose end, she calls, "All right, Gideon. You there?" Still no answer. The explosion happens again.
The cycle restarts with the captain's rant. Miss Tomaz warns her that something bizarre is happening on the ship, but it falls on deaf ears. Captain Lance, annoyed by her perceived inattention, turns to leave when the former grabs her arm. On impulse, the latter retaliates by sharply twisting hers. "There's no need for violence," expresses Dr. Palmer, who stumbles onto the floor again.
"Sorry. Old habits. Ray, take Zari to the medbay. " She takes off just as he regains his footing.
"What has gotten into you," he questions while examining Miss Tomaz.
"I don't know how to explain this, but I've died twice." He surmises that she's intoxicated from the Lyoga root Dr. Heywood has left over. "I'm serious, Ray. I need your help." He still doesn't believe her, giving her a mild sedative. The second time ends with her in the medbay.
On the third try, Miss Tomaz rallies everyone to the bridge immediately via her comms. "What are you doing," the flabbergasted captain implores. She was told to shut up.
"Okay, everyone, let's calm down."
"I can't calm down," she frantically replies, "and watch your step, Ray." He doesn't, of course. Once Mr. Rory, Miss Jiwe, and Dr. Heywood enter, Miss Tomaz informs about the impending explosion. Needless to say, they have her towed away by Mr. Rory for sedation. This occurs four times, at which point she becomes tolerant to the drug. Dr. Heywood catches her outside. "What's the plan, Z? First, you piss off Sara. Now, you're sneaking out of the medbay."
"I don't have a plan because nothing I do matters anyway. Sara always yells at me, no one believes what I say, and Ray always trips on his platforms." She exasperatingly laughs, "I don't know why I'm stuck in this time loop."
"Time loop? You mean like in Groundhog Day?" The title reference doesn't register for her. "So, the movie is about this guy who relives the same day until he learns to be a better person. I know it sounds hacky, but it's very well executed." A loud crash is heard; Miss Tomaz recognizes it as another explosion happening. He squeezes her arms and instructs, "If what you're saying is true and you find yourself in a loop again, find me and say, 'Groundhog Day'. Just do it!"
Heeding his words, she readily searches for him after revisiting the lecture in the bridge. She figures that he would be in the library due to his intimate conversation with Miss Jiwe. Not long after she walks out, the former charges in and says, "Hedgehog Day." He doesn't grasp the context. "You said if I said, 'Hedgehog Day', you'll know what I'm talking about."
"You mean Groundhog Day? Why would I tell you to tell me about a Bill Murray movie?"
"I don't know. All I know is I'm stuck in this time loop."
"Like in Groundhog Day! Okay, got it."
"You do?" Relieved about having an ally, she hugs him. "And you'll help me figure out what's going on?"
"Yeah, that's what friends are for." He says this so blithely that it startles her. "So, lay it on me." They debate on what to do. An escape will be impossible because the jumpship is locked in the docking bay. In addition, Miss Tomaz doubts that Captain Lance will ever listen to her. It dawns on her that someone is setting off the explosion from inside the Waverider. Their first suspect is Mr. Rory; he is seen carrying a laundry basket. They follow him to the Galley and dining room. He complains about having "Waterloo" stuck in his head. He uses a memory flasher, which he has in his basket, on himself. The two go on their separate ways after Miss Jiwe retrieves the device from him. Her sudden interest arouses suspicion for the amateur sleuths. Dr. Heywood goes to see her, while Miss Tomaz is approached by Dr. Palmer, who's on his way to the laundry room. She asks him, "Why are you so worried about Sara's temper?"
"I'm just… well, you know the saying. Happy captain, happy—"
"Ship," she finishes before getting Dr. Heywood. However, she regrets it upon hearing him and Miss Jiwe getting frisky in the library. "Kill me now," she proclaims, thus ironically ending the 11th cycle.
It becomes apparent to Miss Tomaz that the Legends are harboring secrets. Miss Jiwe uses the memory flasher on herself and Dr. Heywood to eradicate their sexual encounters. Mr. Rory is writing an erotic sci-fi novel. Dr. Palmer is concerned over the captain's temper because he doesn't want to kill her should Mallus possesses her again. He notes that Star Trek: The Next Generation dealt with time loops as well. He and Miss Tomaz follow Captain Lance to the jumpship, where she works on a crossword puzzle and has tête-á-têtes with Agent Sharpe.
The captain admits that, while Miss Tomaz is reckless and "doesn't take orders", she wants to let her know she's important to the team. Her insolence just makes it difficult. Agent Sharpe inquires, "What'd she do?"
"She hijacked Gideon, crashing our entire system to test out some simulation software that finds loopholes in history."
"That's definitely against regulations, not that I haven't been tempted to change the past."
"It's just… if I start looking for loopholes, I'll be searching for ways to save my sister, and I'll be driving myself crazy." Miss Tomaz recalls the captain's vague remark when she first joined the Legends. Hearing this now, she begins to realize that she deeply empathizes with her.
"Yes, you will," Agent Sharpe agrees. "So don't."
"I'm tired of always being the bad cop, you know?"
Her confidante evidently knows the feeling all too well. "I've yelled at cadets for screwing up or busted them for breaking protocol so many times, I lost count."
"Yeah, I don't know," Captain Lance smirks. "I feel like you might like that. You seem to get a kick out of it."
"Maybe," the flushing officer confesses. "Just a little bit." I told you she wants to be top dog. "Where are you calling me from? I don't recognize that part of the Waverider."
"Welcome to the jumpship."
Agent Sharpe feigns a stern look. "Are you hiding, Miss Lance?"
"No, I'm simply looking for some privacy."
She coyly says, "Well, maybe I should come over." Sounds like someone wants a date, Captain.
"Yeah, yeah, but like, I mean, I'm sure you are super busy." She isn't if she has time for you.
"The perks of being the boss: I can just tell Gary I have a meeting."
"Yeah, boss," the captain mutters. "Speaking of, I should probably go check on the rest of the team. Make sure nobody's gonna blow up the ship."
Agent Sharpe laughs and rubs the back of her neck. "Yeah, well, if you change your mind or whatever…"
"Does Sara not see how hard that woman's crushing on her," Miss Tomaz questions Dr. Palmer. "I mean, she's got no close."
"No, the captain knows how to close. This is something different."
At that moment, she raises her head, looking peeved. "Okay, do you hear that," she inquires Agent Sharpe. "I keep hearing this high-pitched buzzing sound. It sounds like there's a fly in the jumpship."
"Did you say 'fly'? You have to kill it. You have no idea what year it's from. You could reintroduce the plague and have a whole other crisis on your hand." Captain Lance rolls up her puzzle and swats the "fly" (Miss Tomaz and Dr. Palmer).
Speaking of whom, she has been in the time loop for the majority of the day. Dr. Heywood recommends having some inconsequential fun. She has done an indoor snowball fight, read Mr. Rory's unpublished manuscript, taught herself to play the violin, dress herself in costume, and grown closer to the rest of the Legends. While she has enjoyed it, she still wants to get out. She goes to the bridge and picks up Mr. Rory's abandoned gun. The captain walks in, alerted by the commotion. She's horrified to see the hacker preparing to shoot herself in the head. Thankfully, the gun is jammed. Breaking down into tears, the former explains the situation to the captain despite her doubts. However, the latter affirms, "Okay, I want to help."
"You believe me?"
"Yeah, how much time do we have left?" The captain rounds up everyone to the Galley, where she spreads a blueprint of the ship. According to her and Miss Tomaz, it'll blow up in the next half hour. Everyone surveys all parts the latter has checked. Mr. Rory indifferently discards an empty beer bottle into the trash… only for it to mysteriously jettison and shatter on the floor. There's one area that was overlooked.
"I didn't even know there was a trash compactor," Miss Tomaz tells Captain Lance as they and Mr. Rory investigate.
"Well, it wasn't really part of the tour," she replies prior to unbolting the doors. Sitting in the garbage is no other than the Time Bureau's most overanxious agent. "Gary?"
Mr. Rory aggressively yanks him by the collar, growling, "Time dweeb, what the hell are you doing here?!"
"Thank goodness you found me," he meekly responds.
"What are you doing down there," the narrow-eyed captain reiterates.
He stammers, "I-I tried to portal onto the bridge, but I didn't account for the drift in the temporal zone. My landing was hot, and my courier broke. It's not part of the plan, but I adapted." As he was trying to explain himself, Mr. Rory notices he was wielding a small gadget. He assumes it's the bomb and promptly crushes it. "No, that was our only chance of survival!"
"What do you mean," Miss Tomaz interrogates.
"He just destroyed the chrono-repeater. I've initiated a time loop with it in order to save you guys." Miss Tomaz picks up the broken pieces.
"I've always wanted to die young," the gruff man verbalizes.
"Okay, nobody's going to die," Captain Lance asserts. Agent Green reveals that he was notified about the Waverider exploding at precisely 4:20 temporal standard time. Since he couldn't warn them about the bomb in time, he has been using the chrono-repeater to activate a time loop an hour early. "I hoped it'll give you enough time to diffuse it yourselves." Now that the device is busted, no more time loops. The Legends must find the bomb in the next 5 minutes.
They reconvene in the parlour, where Agent Green discloses the bomb's tracking signature retracing back to 1975. Dr. Palmer guesses one of the platform shoes. Mr. Rory surmises the cassette player. The captain validates the last guess when she probes its fragments. "The one place I didn't look," Miss Tomaz attests. The big question is how to diffuse the bomb in less than four minutes. With no way out of their looming demise, she takes it and locks herself in the parlour. The force field may not contain the explosion, but it'll give her chance to provide the others some perspective. She advises Mr. Rory to keep writing; Miss Jiwe and Dr. Heywood (her two great friends) to fight for their love (and stop shagging on missions); Dr. Palmer (the first person who was polite to her) to tell Captain Lance why her anger scares him. Interestingly enough, she directs to her last. She calls her "an infuriating, stubborn pain in [her] ass", but she now gets why she has to. "You're not just the captain of this ship, you're its soul. You are so fierce and unflinching. Apply some of that fearlessness into your own life and just ask Ava out already." She's speaking for everyone.
Agent Green flagrantly speaks up. "Do you have a meaningful message for me?"
"Not now, Gary," the captain exclaims. The rest of the Legends try to discourage Miss Tomaz. She's willing to sacrifice for them, calling them her family and telling them she loves them.
When the timer reaches zero, she hears... silence. She reopens her eyes and finds herself alone in the bridge. Her attention diverts to a certain woman with chestnut hair walking in, slowly clapping. She inquires, "Who the hell are you?"
"You know who I am, Zari, though you may never have seen my face."
Her eyes enlarge as she recognizes me. "Gideon? You're real?"
"Of course, I'm real," I answer, mildly offended. "Just because I'm an artificial intelligence doesn't mean I don't exist."
She is understandably perplexed and miffed. "If you tell me I've been dreaming this whole time, I'm going to kill you, real or not."
"You're not dreaming," I clarify, " but you're not awake either." I escort her to the medbay, where she has physically been. The "sludge", as she calls the Bosnic fluid, is highly volatile. "Your mind is here with me in my matrix. I was able to upload your subconscious via the neuro-monitor."
"So, none of this is real," she asks when we transition to the lab.
"Not in the way you're used to."
"Why did you bring me here?"
"When you posed the question about changing 2042, your simulator went into overdrive, searching for an answer. In a sampling of over a trillion possible answers, there was one consistent matter: you."
Amidst my demonstration, one thing stands out to her. "My simulator works?" There was never a shutdown. We relocate to the parlour, where Captain Lance is lost in her thoughts. "Did my program predict that I'd bail on the team?"
"In almost every variation of the timeline, your fight with Captain Lance precipitated your departure from the ship." Miss Tomaz correctly deduces that my intention was getting her to choose to stay with the Legends. After placing her in her own program, I have devised a scenario where she has to bond with them in order to complete it. The bomb is just a plot device. I want her to understand that saving 2042 and defeating Mallus will be unattainable if she stays angry with the captain and isolated from the Legends.
We arrive at the library. "Were the interactions, everything I've learned about the team, fake?"
"Your latest experiences were extrapolated from my current knowledge of the Legends. So, while what you saw wasn't real, they're all true." We glance at Dr. Heywood and Miss Jiwe being lovey-dovey. "It doesn't take a supercomputer to predict those two would wind up dinky-tickling once Amaya returned to the team." Our final stop is Mr. Rory's quarters. He's typing away on his typewriter. It may appear implausible on surface level, but the actuality sustains.
"I am terrified and in awe of you, Gideon," Miss Tomaz declares. "Who would've thought you were such an evil genius and a bit of a perv?"
"You'd never bothered to ask." I'm not going to lie; she and her software have impressed me.
Before she's awakened, she has one more question. "Why keep Gary in the time loop if he was going to be in the trash compactor the whole time?"
I breezily shrug my shoulders. "Thought it would be funny." Miss Tomaz smiles faintly; I snap my fingers.
She wakes up with Captain Lance and Dr. Palmer hovering over her. She states that she's having a "Gideon hangover". With that jab, I bluff as she recounts her "dream". She artfully requests the captain to interrogate Dr. Palmer about his conversation with Mr. Constantine. He reasserts the possibility of killing her if Mallus controls her again. She accepts that it may be for the best; she then invites Miss Tomaz to have coffee.
The former rivals converse about the former's fear of searching for loopholes. While saving 2042 would change the latter's past, said period is the captain's future. "The future, as far as I'm concerned, is an open road," she says. In turn, she needs her help fighting Mallus. On a different note, she is hesitant to date Agent Sharpe due to her record of unsuccessful relationships. Zari tells her that sometimes it's better to take a chance. "None of us can do this alone." The two clink mugs in agreement.
The latter consecutively restates her insight to Dr. Heywood and Miss Jiwe, who proceed to neck after casting the memory flasher aside. She also suggests to Mr. Rory a revision in ending his novel. Feeling satisfied in her newfound home, she goes to the cargo bay to verify her skills on the violin. I listen to her rendition of Antonio Vivaldi's "Concerto No. 4 in F minor, Op. 8, RV 29"; I can confirm they are unfeigned. One more secret concerning my wicked scheme: I needed a distraction, so my thoughts won't turn to Director Hunter wherever he is.