In Veritas Memento

Rating: NC 17

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All aspects of Spartacus: Gods of the Arena are owned by Steven De Knight and Starz. This is for pure entertainment value alone.

This story takes place after the episode Missio, yet it veers completely into an A/U after the events of that episode. I am a huge fan of the series Spartacus; however, my favorite character is Gannicus. This is his story.

Warnings: M for a reason. This story is much like the show. It contains bad words and smut! If that is not your cup of tea, turn back now. Although, if cussing and nude scenes offend, are you sure you're a fan of Spartacus?! ;) Hehehe. Kidding. Anyhow, you've been warned.

Pairings: There are multiple pairings, and Gannicus has more than one partner in this story, however, Gannicus/Melitta is endgame. If reading Gannicus with multiple pairings offends you, again, turn back now.

Chapter 20: absit omen: Let an omen be absent.

The day of the celebration was exceedingly hot and the slight balmy breeze (unfortunately) did not do much in the way of alleviating the sweltering temperature as the gladiators took to the sand for training exercises. As the day progressed, the rigors of training during such conditions had many a man seeking the shade for much needed respite from the brutal heat.

Gannicus was working the palus, as eager as the rest of the men to get out of the sun for a bit, when he spied the house slaves working within the men's dining area to prepare it for the night's activities. He was turning back to the wooden post when his gaze chanced upon Diona and another slave placing colorful cloths over the worn-down tables, giving the eating area a festive look that seemed out of place amongst the dank, decaying walls. He paused, realizing he had not broken words with the girl since he had requested her to be gifted to him over a week ago.

He put down the practice swords he was using and crossed the yard to enter the shaded area of the dining hall. "Diona," he called, earning her attention. "A word, if you have a moment?"

"Gannicus," she said softly, unable to keep a furious blush from suffusing her cheeks when she looked upon him. She smiled. "I have not had word from you."

Gannicus offered a smile in return as he approached her. "Apologies. I know we have not spoken…"

She lowered her gaze self-consciously. "You have not summoned me," she returned.

"Summoned you?" He frowned, until realization dawned, and his eyes widened as meaning became clear.

She had thought he would take her to his bed again. Of course, she did. And why would she not? He had requested her after they fucked. Gannicus could have kicked himself for not seeing this possibility ahead of time, and knew he had to handle situation delicately. He had no desire to bruise her already overly abused heart. And yet…he also had to be truthful with the girl.

"Diona, I asked for you to be mine because I could not see you being forced into the life of whore," he said honestly, but gently. He smiled and reached out to tip her chin up so that she met his gaze. "I would not seek to press my attentions upon you as well. You are as free as you can be and yet remain slave. No man will touch you again unless you wish it to be so."

Her striking green eyes finally raised to meet his. "And what if the only man I wish to touch me seeks to protect me and does not desire me?" she asked softly, worrying her bottom lip.

She wanted him to summon her to his bed. He sighed. How had he gotten himself into this situation? This was why he stayed far away from young innocents. They became infatuated far too easily.

"Of course, I desire you, Diona. What man with eyes would not find you enticing."

The girl was beautiful with her thick dark hair, voluptuous body and those alluring green eyes. If his heart was not already tied up in knots over Melitta and if he did not have a mistress who was insanely jealous, then Gannicus would gladly take this beauty to his bed and keep her there. However, if Octavia were to discover such a thing—the abuse Cossutius had visited upon Diona would seem a weak thing as opposed to the fury Octavia would rain down upon the girl.

"Then why have you not sought me out since requesting me to be yours?"

"It is complicated," he told her. He glanced around, noticed they were drawing the attention of the other slaves decorating the dining area as well as Oenomaus's and the other gladiator's. He promptly decided this was a conversation best held in private. "I will explain, but I would ask you to await my reply and allow me a moment to gain permission from Batiatus to have private words with you?" She nodded, and he glanced towards one of the guards ever present upon the yard. "I seek audience with Dominus to grant me privacy with Diona within my cell."

The guard nodded. "Wait here," he said and left to get permission from Batiatus.

As they waited for the guard to come back with Batiatus's reply, Gannicus leaned against a table in the eating area, while Diona went back to decorating.

A few moments later the guard returned. "Come," the man said and Gannicus followed him out of the ludus and to the stairs that led up to the villa.

Gannicus was escorted into the villa and led to Batiatus's tablinum. The man was bent over his desk, going over some papers, he glanced up when Gannicus stood before him. He signaled the guards to leave. "You wish to have privacy with Diona?" he asked frowning.

Gannicus nodded. "I do."

Batiatus tossed a paper aside, his brows furrowing further. "I was under the impression you did not seek physical relations with the girl, Gannicus. You realize Octavia will lose mind if she suspects you of sharing your bed. So, I ask you, what the fuck are you thinking?"

"I do not seek to lie with her, Dominus. The girl has developed feelings for me and I would see her soothed."

"Soothed? To what purpose?"

"She has been roughly used. That was the reason I requested her. I would not count myself another man to hurt the girl. I need privacy to explain why I do not seek her company for anything other than companionship."

"And you cannot do that without going to your cell?"

"No, I cannot. As I said, she has developed a crush." Gannicus knew how these things could go when tender feelings were involved. It could end badly. The last time he broke a young woman's heart it had ended with her killing herself along with a child she claimed to be his. Gannicus never wanted to experience such a thing again. "There may be tears involved and I would not see her embarrassed any further. Bitter consequences can arise if you bruise a woman's heart, Dominus. I would see Diona as unscathed as possible."

Batiatus seemed to be mulling it over. Gannicus waited for him to decide one way or another, his frustration at not being given immediate approval carefully concealed within the blank visage of his face as he stared straight ahead awaiting decision.

Batiatus finally sighed and agreed to his request, however it was obvious the man did not believe Gannicus merely wanted to have words with Diona. "Fine. You are the Champion of Capua and this House, and as such, you have certain privileges the other men do not. I would not see them removed due to your arrangement with Octavia."

Gannicus' brows shot up in surprise, "Are you giving me permission to do more than break words with the girl if I so choose?"

Batiatus laughed outright. "Ha! You did not hear those words from my fucking mouth." He came around the desk and gripped Gannicus's biceps in his hands. "Gannicus, your victories have brought great esteem this house, a house that has not had the recognition it deserves in many years. I would have you well pleased. Take the girl to your cell or your bed, whichever you prefer, but if Octavia learns of it, I knew nothing of it. It will be up to you and your magic cock to soothe the woman's ire should word reach her ears." Batiatus squeezed his arms. "Are we in agreement on this?"

Gannicus almost liked Batiatus in that moment. The man had robbed him of the freedom to fuck who and when he chose. Now, he was offering him those liberties back. It was a sense of freedom Gannicus had sorely missed. "Gratitude, Dominus," he said, bowing his head. Feeling lighter of heart than he had in a while, Gannicus flashed Batiatus a grin and said, "Octavia will not hear of it, but if she did, me and my magic cock would soothe her ire with no blame falling to you or this ludus."

Quintus chuckled. "That is all I ask. Not that I am worried, mind you. The woman is obsessed with you, Gannicus. I swear she'd lay Rome at your feet if you but asked."

Gannicus shook his head. "Our feet, Dominus." Batiatus frowned in confusion and Gannicus made clear his words. "You said my feet and I say she will lay Rome at our feet. Mine and the House of Batiatus."

The smile that broke out of Quintus's face was bright and beaming. "You flatter while speaking upon my very thoughts." With that he called the guards back and instructed them to see Gannicus to the gate separating the ludus and the villa.

"Gratitude Dominus," he said, still trying to figure out if the man was trying to make up for the level of shit he had heaped upon weary shoulders in weeks past or perhaps he had another motive behind his recent overtures. Did Batiatus want something more of him now? Gannicus suspected the latter, but he hoped the man was sincere, therefore, he accepted the gift for what it was, and did not question it further.

~8~

Batiatus watched him go with a small smile. He wanted to crow his pleasure. It was working. His plan to gain Gannicus' heartfelt loyalty was working. The more freedom and reward he gave Gannicus, the more the man wanted to please him. He no longer scowled or pouted when Octavia was mentioned. He had set himself to purpose and now had the woman eating out of the palm of his fucking hand! He was also focused on the grander scheme of things now. His gaze focused on Rome and what could be achieved there. It was exactly as Quintus had hoped. He was taking a risk allowing Gannicus to find pleasure with Diona, but it was a calculated risk with the potential for greater reward.

Now, all he had to do is discover what it was out of this life that Gannicus desired above all else. Too bad, it was not Diona, he could have solved dilemma presently. However, Batiatus was sure Diona was not Gannicus' greatest desire. Every man had hopes and dreams, yet Gannicus' had naught to do with riches or power; if that were the case, the man would appreciate Octavia's gifts more, not wince when he received them. No. Gannicus was a simpler man, but even simple men wanted something out of life. Something yearned for with heart and mind aligned. Batiatus just needed to discover what that one thing was for Gannicus and then find a way to use it to secure the man's promise to stay with this house if he ever received the rudis.

Quintus grinned. It was a good plan.

*8*

Had Batiatus merely looked out of his doorway, he would have seen Gannicus' truest desire in the flesh.

Melitta was heading down the hallway of the villa towards the balcony when she saw Gannicus coming out of Batiatus's study. His head turned just then, and he spotted her. They both froze. It was the first time they had really laid eyes on each other since the Coena Libera. She had seen him in the arena and he had briefly glanced at her upon the pulvinus… Yet those were not personal moments, such as this was.

Melitta stood there, her eyes drinking him in for a moment. He was close enough to reach out and touch. Her hands twitched, and she folded them together before herself, lest they do something utterly foolish!

For Gannicus she was the reminder of all he wanted yet would never have. "Melitta," he said. "Do you have a moment?"

Melitta sighed. Her first instinct was to say no and escape his presence post haste. Yet, she could not keep running from him. She had to face her feelings eventually.

She nodded. "I have a few."

His smile was instantaneous, and it was obvious he had been expecting a different answer. He glanced to the guard. "I would ask for privacy."

The guard glanced from Gannicus to Batiatus's tablinum as if debating whether he should agree without permission.

"Ask the man if you need, but I am not going to be any further than right there," he said, pointing to where Melitta stood.

"You have a moment," the guard said.

"That is all I need," Gannicus said before he made his way over to Melitta. When he was standing before her, he smiled softly. "I did not think you would agree."

She gave him a mysterious smile. "I thought to refuse, but it seemed without purpose when your words, last we spoke, were true. We must speak of what happened between us or I fear we will never be free of it."

Gannicus nodded his agreement. "I am of a similar mind. Can we put it behind us and be as friends again?" Before Melita could answer he added, "I miss you, Melitta. I would see you and your laughter returned to my life."

"Gannicus…" she began wearily, but he interrupted her.

"You misunderstand intent. I miss your humor. Your compassion and..." He flashed the charming grin she loved. "The way you always assured that my ego never became too large. You were the only one to ever put me in my place." His eyes softened, and his voice lowered. "Your gentle grace never failed to make me feel…" he paused as if searching for the right words, "loved," he said finally. "Despite the fact I am not the man you are in love with. You included me in your heart. A rare thing in a world full of shit."

Melitta turned away as tears filled her eyes. "Gannicus, this was a mistake. I cannot…" She shook her head, her emotions rising so fast and furiously she felt as if she were choking with their intensity.

He took hold of her chin and tipped her face up, frowning when he saw the tears in her beautiful brown eyes. "Why do you cry?" he asked softly. "My goal was not to bring further injury. I simply wanted to tell you if friendship is all I would have of you, I would accept offer."

It was too much. Everything he said…it was what he should say. What she had hoped to receive from him in recent past, and yet, perversely, now it was she who wanted more. Melitta put her hands over her face as shudders began to wrack her body. She had fought these feelings for so long…and suddenly the dam just broke as did her strength. "I cry because what lies in my heart for you is no longer based on friendship!" she finally said, her voice hushed and emotional. "It is…" She shook her head and her tears trailed down her cheeks. "It is so much more."

Gannicus sucked in a sharp breath and his heart lurched in his chest. He cupped her face as his thumbs wiped away her tears. "Melitta…?" His gaze was intense as he searched her eyes for the truth in her words.

She closed them, terrified to meet his gaze, yet savoring his touch for just a moment before pulling away. "No," she said, wiping at her eyes. "We cannot do this. Despite my weakness, naught has changed."

"Everything has changed," he said, capturing her cheek in his palm.

"No, it only makes circumstance more tragic. I am married—to a man we both love. And you…" She removed his hand from her face. "You are not mine to have," she told him softly, the pain in her eyes palpable before she turned to leave.

Gannicus could not let her go. Panic assailed him, and he urgently grabbed her arm, halting her exit. "I love you!" he blurted out recklessly. "I did not want it and never asked for it, but it is there…in my heart."

She trembled at his words, fresh tears flooding her eyes while her chest heaved with the maelstrom of emotions swirling inside her at his confession. "I stand as weak," she admitted softly, "because, despite my words, it stirs in my breast as well, and that is why we can never be friends again." Melitta met his gaze for one long heartbreaking moment, her feelings for him plain on her face, before turning on her heel and quickly escaping the atrium.

Gannicus watched her go, heart pounding in his chest. Melitta loved him. For so very long he had ached to hear such declaration, and yet, now that he had, he wished he had not. There was no future for a love such as theirs and to try and force one would bring about disastrous consequence. Feeling as if he had been kicked in the stomach, Gannicus turned and blindly headed back to the ludus, his mind reeling over this turn of events.

Melitta rushed back towards her room, rather than the balcony as originally planned. It was fortunate she knew the route by heart because her eyes were near blinded by the tears that distorted her view. She could not face anyone like this, especially her husband who was presently in the yard training the men. She was unsure how she would ever face him again after today! She had revealed her deepest darkest truth to Gannicus at last and deeply regretted giving voice to such sentiments. It had been a ridiculously stupid thing to do and she had not planned to admit her secret to him or anyone-ever. It had just erupted from lips as if she had no control over errant tongue!

Now, he knew she cared far more than she had admitted previously. What he might do with such knowledge was beyond her, especially considering his own confession.

He loved her!

Her heart raced as his words echoed in her head. 'I love you. I love you. I love you…'

She crawled into her bed and curled into a fetal position, holding her stomach as if that would settle the panic and pain roiling within. What had she done? Great heaving sobs choked her, and to her utter shame, they were not for her husband, they were for herself. When Gannicus had said he loved her…she had desperately wanted to accept his confession and return it in kind!

She had admitted to being just as weak at fighting what was in her heart... Would he understand that meant she loved him too?

Melitta closed her eyes and sobbed. How had she come to be in this place? For years she had never given Gannicus more than a passing thought, except perhaps to tease him when his cockiness became too much to bear. She had borne witness to his parade of women, yet never succumbed to his charismatic smile or physical beauty. Was it all a lie? Had she desired him the entire time and her need to put him in his place had simply been her defense against his charm? She feared it was so. And that was disturbing because that meant she had loved him for some time, it had merely lay dormant, like a snake, waiting for shadows to clear, setting it free to strike.

'And it had,' she thought, 'with deadly accuracy.' She worried her marriage would not survive its venom.

*8*

When the guard left him behind the gate that separated the ludus form the villa, Gannicus stood there for a moment, his brain still coming to terms with the information Melitta had just imparted upon him. A part of him wanted to go back to the villa and force her to say the words 'I love you', so he could hear it from her lips, if only just once. Yet he could not. She was not his. It was the same conundrum he wrestled with daily, and it always led him to same path. Oenomaus. Neither of them wanted to hurt him, despite what they felt for each other. He was their great divide—an insurmountable barrier that would forever be between them.

Melitta was right. It was tragic.

With a heavy heart he made his way back to the yard. When he spotted Diona standing in the newly decorated dining area, still waiting for him, he was brought back to his original purpose for seeking audience with Batiatus. His words with Melitta had absented it from brain, and he felt guilty for leaving the poor girl awaiting his return for so long.

"Apologies," he said, banishing troubling thoughts of Melitta from mind for the moment. "Dominus was busy, but he gave permission." He took her hand in his. "Come with me. I would break words in private."

He led Diona to the left side of the yard, skirting the cliff that was such a dangerous aspect of the Batiatus training yard. In doing so, they could get to his cell without encroaching on the men sparring in the center of the sands. He could see Oenomaus in the middle of the gladiators giving direction. He was tall and proud standing there with his feet spread, the whip he now sported curled in one mighty fist. His friend was frowning at him, and judging by expression, disappointed in him as well. Gannicus realized how it must appear. He had just insisted he was well satisfied with Octavia, yet here he was taking Diona to his cell. Oenomaus, most assuredly assumed he was going to fuck her, and considering his past, it would be logical conclusion. It was not his intent on this day, but he could hardly break words with the man on the subject presently. With a sigh, he pulled Diona inside his cell and shut the door behind her, blocking out his friend's disapproving scowl.

Once they were alone, Diona cautiously went to his bed and sat down. She was perched upon the edge nervously looking everywhere in the room but him, while Gannicus grabbed an amphora of wine along with two cups and made his way over to where she sat.

He flashed her his most charming grin as he handed her one of the cups. "Come," he said pouring them each a generous amount of the delicious Falernian wine Octavia had gifted him with. "Tip drink with me and let us clear away misunderstandings between us."

Diona took the offered glass shyly. Her eyes darted up to him and a slight flush made its way to her cheeks when he climbed up on the bed next to her and reclined against the pillows that lined the stone wall, his legs stretched out in front of him.

Gannicus took a sip of his wine, studying her. She really was a comely creature. Her eyes were the most beautiful shade of green. There was a part of Gannicus that was quite tempted to invite Diona to his bed. His desire to rebel against Octavia's heavy hand was strong as was the part of him that urged him to seek distraction from thoughts of Melitta between his companion's sweet thighs. It was a tempting thought, especially when he knew Diona would enjoy the fucking as much as he would. He well remembered how hot and tight she had been and knew he would find pleasure in her arms, of that there was no doubt. However, he also knew using the girl in such a manner would be wrong. She deserved better. Now, he had to convince her she deserved better than him.

While Gannicus was deciding how best to broach subject, Diona decided to take matters into her own hands. She set her cup of wine down on the floor and her hands went to the leather ties that kept her dress bound. Deep in thought, Gannicus realized (too late) that she was planning on stripping and when her dress suddenly dropped, pooling around her waist and exposing her rounded breasts, for a moment he simply stared at the sudden bounty before him. She truly was a beautiful girl and his body responded accordingly. Instantly, the desire to throw caution to wind and simply take her arose again, but he could not. Octavia would ruin the girl if he did such a thing and she discovered it. He decided he best come to purpose quickly, before she received the wrong impression from his silence and disrobed completely, thus making decision to be honorable far more difficult than it was presently.

He took hold of her hand, halting her from removing her dress entirely. "Diona, I fear you mistake intentions."

Diona froze, a flush staining her face, neck and chest. She crossed her arms over her breasts and dipped her head, allowing her hair to fall forward and cover burning face. "Apologies," she mumbled.

He pulled her dress back up and refastened it, regretfully covering her delightful breasts. "There is no need. We have had a misunderstanding, nothing more."

"If not to bed me, then why did you request me as your own? Why bring me here to have privacy?" she asked behind her curtain of hair.

"I requested you to be mine to save you from men like me," he told her, gently brushing her hair away from her face so he could see her eyes again. He gave her a smile. "It is not my wish to take further advantage of you."

Diona's brow furrowed at his words. "Men like you?" she said, shaking her head. "I do not understand. You are the one man that has shown me tenderness. Why would you wish to save me from that?"

Gannicus sighed. He was afraid she would see it like that. "I am not an honorable man," he told her with brutal honestly, downing the rest of his wine and pouring himself another. He would need liquid strength to get through this conversation. "Do not fool yourself and attribute qualities within me that are not present."

"I do not believe that," she replied with quiet confidence. "You changed ugly memory to gentle passion. A dishonorable man would never handle a woman with such care." She bit her lip and her eyes clouded over with remembered pain. "Believe me," she whispered harshly, "I have suffered the touch of dishonorable men. You are not among them."

It disturbed him to see firsthand how her abuse had scarred mind. "Perhaps not, yet I have not always treated women with tender care either," he admitted. "I have used many a woman for nothing more than my own pleasure, Diona. Never giving thought to their feelings. Believe me when I tell you…you do not want to give yourself to one such as me."

Diona was quiet for some time and Gannicus was about to press his point further when she turned to him, her full lower lip trembling and her wide green eyes glittering with tears. His chest ached at the pain etched upon her pretty face. "You are wrong. I do want to give myself to you. You are the only man that has stirred such desires within me."

Her words made his cock rise. Why was she making this so difficult? He was trying to be noble and treat her honorably. Did she not see he was trying to save her from himself? Even if he did take her to bed, at best, the only thing he could offer would be his body. Young women like Diona always wanted more, and that, he could not give.

"Why do you refuse what is yours?"

"Diona," he said softly, using his thumb to wipe a single tear that trailed down her cheek away. "I am not rejecting you. I am saving you—from myself and men like me who will offer you nothing but flowery words to mask the scent of shit that falls from mouth."

It was as if he had not spoken at all, because her next words only made him feel even worse.

"Was I not…pleasing when you took me?"

"Diona…"

"Or…is it because you have stirrings for another?"

"Another?" he asked, brow raising.

Diona nodded. "Melitta," she said quietly.

Gannicus's eyes widened exponentially and his pulse raced at her words.

How did she know?

"Melitta is Oenomaus's wife. Why would you say such a thing?"

"You have lay with her twice."

Jupiter's cock! He should have known. There were no secrets in this house amongst the slaves. The fucking Romans considered them part of the furniture at times. Unsure how to proceed, Gannicus tipped his head back and finished his wine in one long swallow. He refilled his glass and topped off Diona's as well, sure they were going to need much more wine to discuss present topic.

Diona gave thanks before taking a sip and continuing. "We all see how you watch her. Your eyes…they are desirous when you set gaze upon her."

Well shit! It appeared he was a contributor to his own folly as well! Batiatus had said something quite similar. Gannicus realized he had better curb this tendency or Oenomaus would take notice.

With the influence of the wine calming him, Gannicus decided to trust Diona. "Can I share with you a secret?"

Diona nodded. "I would never betray you."

He believed her and, for the first time, Gannicus opened heart to another person (besides Melitta herself) regarding his feelings for his brother's wife. "I have love for her," he said hesitantly, eyeing her reaction from his peripheral vision. When she simply took his hand in both of hers in a comforting gesture, Gannicus felt relief flood him and he spoke plainly of the recent events, confessing everything to her. "I have tried to fight desires, but I am weak where she is concerned…"