He's enjoying the hell out of this. He hopes Lucy is too.
The last thing he needs is for Lucy to feel like he has to perform. He doesn't. They can just touch and kiss. It doesn't have to go...that far. He running his tongue down neck before curling it up against his ear. He smiles as his taller boyfriend gently pushes him down on to the sofa, undoing his buttons one by one.
"You know...this is soooo weird isn't it?" Loke asks holding his hands out with a shrug.
"What? That your family ain't in for once?" Lucy asks tugging at his own belt.
"No, it's just...I always thought my first time would be with Anwar. I mean, it's crazy. Isn't it?" Loke chuckles. He settles into the sofa waiting for his boyfriend to finish undoing his buttons, but he doesn't. He cautiously leans back into the sofa, playing with Chia's fancy arm rest covers.
"You still like him?" Lucy asks flatly.
"I'm with you man. I like this. I just never thought it would be with you" Loke said pulling himself up. "We've both seen place. I figured that my first time would just be in his swanky hotels that his dad owns. Then he'd tell me how much he always fancied me but couldn't say anything..."
"Sorry I fucked up your fantasy!" Lucy snorts, getting up and sorting out his trousers,
"Ad, don't be a brat. Like you 've NEVER fancied other people" Loke folds his arms.
"But I ain't shoving it in your face!"
"Look, I know it's shitty timing. But am I supposed to stay silent about life before you? You can talk to me too!"
"I'm not saying..."
"We can talk about the future, you can make all the suggestive come-ons about fucking me senseless, but we can't talk about the past? I can't talk about the stealing, the bullying, the fear I went though being constantly harrassed? I don't do one sided relationships . You can't have it your way all the time"
"I'm trying to make it up to you!" He pleads.
"Please can you try with more " Loke knows that he's crossed a line as his partner, silently gets up without a word and leaves. He doesn't run to the door. He doesn't grab his phone and type with all his might. He turns up the volume on the television and button's himself up. Maybe losing his virginity to his former bully wasn't the right way to go after all.