Welcome back, everyone! I'm so happy to be posting another speedy update to this fic ^.^ You all have managed to make me just as excited about writing it as you've been to read it!
Thanks so much again for all your lovely reviews. Pretty much everyone understood this, but I wanted to make a note to clarify some things on the last chapter. Inuyasha was completely justified in feeling hurt and leaving after what Kagome said, and he absolutely made good points. But I want to stress that this Kagome is one who never lived in the modern era, and was raised all her life to view demons as the enemy. It was pretty bad timing too, because Kaede had recently reminded her of her priorities and made her feel conflicted about how close she and Inuyasha were becoming. Moreover, she isn't a human who's free to make her own choices: she is a priestess whose duty is foremost to protect humans from demons. So of course she wouldn't readily agree to a demon outright suggesting that she let him attack humans, when that's the main thing she's trying to prevent.
Also, remember that while she's been completely forthcoming about who she is, Inuyasha has quite a few things that he's been hiding (though that's also justified). In a way, Inuyasha even took the first shot when he called her cowardly, after she was already rattled about her inability to harm the men (though he only said it because he couldn't properly express his worry about her potentially getting hurt)! Kagome is still our Kagome, and there's no universe where I can see her taking that lying down. Finally, let's also not forget that Inuyasha has said plenty of derogatory things about humans as well, and holds prejudiced views of his own on both races :) I don't blame him at all, because he has strong reasons for it. But let's not judge Kagome too harshly! Things are complicated and she has her reasons too (lips sealed now because spoilers hehe).
Hope you all enjoy this chapter as well!
It was nighttime, and Kagome was at the shrine, where she was supposed to be. It was late enough that the whole village was probably already asleep. But Kagome was awake.
She was on the ground at her low-rise wooden desk in her room. At her desk, she sat stringing what would eventually become the Beads of Subjugation into a necklace. The round beads were a dark violet, and she counted them out in fives, dividing them up with pale, ivory magatama.
All the while she did it, she was miserable.
Kagome had been wrestling with this for days. It had been over a week since she saw Inuyasha. He hadn't stayed away this long ever since he started making regular visits. It wasn't out of the realm of possibility that he wouldn't come back at all. But if he did, the fact was that, as Kaede had warned, he did indeed want to go against what Kagome had decided. She couldn't determine whether he was merely suggesting it, or whether he'd do it for sure. But in any case, he'd given her a reason to suspect that he could turn on them. Logic dictated that she uphold her end of what she told Kaede, and craft the Beads of Subjugation now that she'd had plenty of time to think about it in his absence.
She hadn't told Kaede about the confrontation she and Inuyasha had had. She knew that if she did, Kaede would instantly view that as grounds to ban him from the village entirely. So instead she was... what? Trying to make amends for not telling Kaede? Trying to make amends for her quarrel with Inuyasha by preventing him from getting banned, but then still resorting to this idea which she was so loathe to initially?
"Aarghh."
She let the beads drop from her hands. They rolled all across the table. She buried her head in her hands instead. It was pounding, aching from not having had enough sleep lately, but that wasn't the only reason. Why was this so hard? Why was she feeling trapped in such a dilemma over this?
Because it's wrong. Doing this without his permission would be wrong.
She opened her eyes. The magatama's shape and color reminded her of fangs. Fitting. Inuyasha had fangs. Why did she keep thinking about him? Probably just because she was crafting these beads for him in the first place.
No. It's because you feel guilty.
But that was absurd! What had she done wrong? She had called him a demon, yes. But isn't that what he was? Why had he looked so disappointed in her, as though he'd expected different from her? Kagome did in fact regret some of words she'd used. Playing them over, she'd made it sound as though she just resented him for going against her or disrespecting her authority. Maybe she'd made it sound like she thought he was a lesser being who should bend to her will. That wasn't it. She was offended that he'd just assumed she would ever give him the go-ahead to wound humans, especially when humans were counting on her to keep them safe. What if the villagers had heard their conversation? What on earth would they think if she went along with it? They'd never, never have faith in her again. She was going out of her way for him by even resolving not to tell anyone what he'd said. And, hadn't she defended him from everyone who was wary about him up until this point?
Doesn't he understand I'm a priestess? she thought despairingly.
It wasn't the first time he'd given her this feeling. Resting her forehead on the cool wood of the table, Kagome shut her eyes again.
She remembered what had happened earlier on the same day. How he'd stood in front of the tree and urged her to shoot at him. The look in his eyes. She realized, now, what had seemed peculiar about it to her before, though it hadn't been clear to her back then.
What on earth had made Inuyasha think that she wouldn't imbue her arrows with reiki anyway?
He was right there in front of her. She could have easily done it, and for all he knew, she wanted to. For all he knew, she would have tried. Yet, she not only didn't use her spiritual powers, she avoided aiming at him directly. How had he known that she wouldn't use them? For, while Kagome herself knew it, why even give her the chance?
He trusted her. There was no other explanation for it. Inuyasha trusted Kagome not to hurt him. And rightfully so.
But... why?
He had every reason not to. She was a priestess, the priestess who guarded the Shikon Jewel which he, a demon, was after. This made her his natural enemy.
But it was almost as if he knew something about her, something she didn't know that he knew. What could it be? Was it because she'd spared him in their first encounter, after he'd saved her from the oni? There had to be more to it than that. She'd only narrowly avoided taking that shot at him that day anyway. Come to think of it, what exactly had given her pause? She couldn't fully remember their conversation. Just that something had stayed her hand. Perhaps it was that he'd just saved her life. But maybe it was also something other than that. Something he'd said, something she'd felt. Maybe something she remembered.
In any case, that was where the guilt in her conscience came from. The fact that he seemed to trust her, while she sat here, preparing something out of her very lack of trust for him.
Kagome sighed, a lump coming to her throat. Inuyasha's face before he disappeared flashed in her mind again. The hurt that crossed it after her words. The way he'd said he wouldn't help anymore. She didn't blame him for not wanting to help nor come back, she never felt entitled to any of that.
But she did miss him, as bizarre as it was. Not just for the things he did. Talking to him had been getting easier, as well. In fact, most of their conversations were rather nice. He seemed to have been taking a genuine interest in all that she did and why. He really seemed to care. It was hurtful to think back on now. She didn't have any friends.
What are you thinking, Kagome, she thought sadly. Inuyasha was never your friend. Why would he want to be. He's just here to protect the Jewel.
She hadn't seen much of Sota lately, either. The children told her a few days ago that he'd been sick with a fever and was sleeping it off at home. She planned on visiting him as soon as she got the chance, but was waiting until she looked less upset.
Before Inuyasha had left, he accused her of not doing to the humans what she would have done to the demons. But again, what did he expect from her? As she'd reasoned out in her head so many times, it was a priestess's job to protect humans, to harm only demons, and that was that. Pretty black and white.
Hell no. Everything's messy and grey.
Tsuya's words all those months ago... why did they ring through her head now? If he were here, if he knew about what was happening... what would he say? He was so unlike any other person she'd met. He held opinions she'd never heard others voice before. Would he have any advice for her? Would he have disapproved, too?
Kagome didn't know, not for sure. But she knew this. If Inuyasha did come back, she would have liked to apologize to him. Even if it was just for causing that pain on his face.
As her vision blurred, her head still resting on the table, Kagome surveyed the loose beads. Their dark violet hue reminded her of Tsuya's silver eyes. Inuyasha's eyes sure were pretty, she mused. And it hurt so much to remember how he'd looked at her with them. Maybe she was only stringing these beads because she didn't know what else to do to.
With a deep, shuddering sigh, she rose to her feet, leaving the beads scattered where they were, only half-strung. She hadn't enchanted them yet, not even a single incantation.
I'll finish them later, she resolved, dully resigned. She was in no hurry. In fact, the longer she could postpone it, the better. She almost wished Inuyasha wouldn't return to the village, just so she wouldn't have to do it at all.
Kagome walked over to her window and looked out of it listlessly. It would be best to get some shuteye. Tomorrow would be yet another moonless night.
She woke up later than usual the next morning, because it had taken her much longer to fall asleep.
As she got dressed for the day, she became aware of some kind of commotion going on somewhere in the village. It wasn't near the shrine, so she couldn't tell how serious it was or what was going on. She decided to check it out first, before going on her rounds.
She was just tying her hair with her ribbon when she heard footsteps rushing into the shrine.
Without warning, Rikichi, one of the village leaders, burst into her room.
"Lady Kagome!" he yelled, before Kagome even had time to be shocked by this. "An abduction has occurred in the village. Your brother Sota has been taken!"
It felt like the bottom dropped out of Kagome's stomach. A chill encased her body even as her veins were flushed with heat.
"Where?" she cried, her hands trembling. "Who did it?"
Rikichi dropped to his knees, head lowered in shame. "I don't know, my lady. It was very early morning, before the sun was even up. Only a few people spotted anything. The witnesses are by your home, with your honored mother..."
Kagome had already snatched her bow and arrows and took off running. Rikichi was at her heels.
"Was anyone else taken?"
"No, my lady." The good news ought to have relieved her, but it didn't.
"Sound the alarm," she said, her mouth doing most of the talking because she was utterly dazed. "Have someone beat the drums at once and rouse the whole village."
Sota... Sota!
She raced all the way to her house, wishing she'd taken this path earlier and gone to see Sota before this could have happened. She didn't know if it would have prevented anything, but she didn't care. He'd been asking her to come. He'd asked her so many times, and she didn't, and now... !
As she drew nearer, she spotted her mother standing outside, a group of villagers surrounding her. Kaede was also there.
Something wrenched Kagome's heart when she saw her mother, and it only worsened upon seeing her grief-stricken face.
"Mama!" she burst out, throwing herself into her outstretched arms, all pretenses of formality abandoned. "Mama, what's happened? Sota... Sota's-"
"Hush, Kagome, hush," came Higurashi-san's soft voice, as she stroked her daughter's hair tenderly. But Kagome could hear the fear in her voice. The hands holding her were trembling, cold, unsteady.
I have to be strong, Kagome realized. I need to save Sota!
With tremendous effort, she lifted her head from her mother's shoulder and clasped her hands firmly in hers.
"It's going to be all right, Mother," she vowed. "I'm going to bring him back. Don't worry, Mother, he'll come home, I promise!"
Her face looking harrowed, her eyes bleary, Higurashi-san managed to give her daughter a tremulous smile, and squeezed her hands.
"What did you all see?" Kagome asked looking around, even as her heart pounded. The sound of the drums were carrying from the shrine, and more villagers were leaving their homes to see what was going on. "Who was he with?"
"We saw a young boy being carried away from this house in the early hours, Miko-sama," a nearby man said. "Three men were with him. It was hard to see them properly, but one of them had a big, black mole on his left cheek..."
The man went on talking, but Kagome's body went rigid. Her face blanched and her heart plunged. The men who'd threatened her last week, the leader who had stood in front of them... he'd had a mole on his cheek.
No...
Kagome's legs almost gave way. She would have sunk to the ground. Kaede's hand was the one that steadied her.
"Kagome, my child." As Kagome turned to her vacantly, she saw in her grim, bleak expression that Kaede had already put two and two together. She was here to support Kagome, because she had known that this reaction was coming.
"They came back," she whispered. "They came back, baa-chan."
Kaede shut her eyes and nodded gravely.
Kagome whipped around to look at everyone gathered there, her head spinning. "How could you let them in?" she cried. "We gave you all of their descriptions. How could they have strolled into this village and just taken one of our children like this-"
The onlookers mumbled their apologies, their heads lowered in shame, but their words barely registered with her. It was no use getting mad at them; how could they have prevented this? It was an open village. Anyone could enter and sneak away in the night.
But why Sota?! It made no sense at all. Her head wouldn't stop spinning.
"Kagome, dear," Kaede began, her voice sympathetic, but Kagome turned back to her mother.
"I'm so sorry, Mother," she breathed. "This is all my fault. If I'd just been more careful-" but no, this wasn't the time to be doling out blame. She shook her head to clear it. "Which way did they go?" she asked the crowd urgently.
A few people pointed east. She gripped her bow tightly, and nodded in thanks.
"I'm going after them," she said. "Everyone else, please protect the village until I'm back."
Sounds of acknowledgement rang out. But before Kagome could run off, her hand was seized suddenly, holding her in place.
"Kagome!" It was her mother's voice. Kagome turned, only to be enveloped in her arms again. "Be careful, darling," she whispered, her body shaking again. "I can't lose you."
Kagome blinked back her tears furiously, resolving not to cry even as emotions arose from within. "You won't, Mama," she said. "You aren't going to lose either of us. Not one. Not this time."
She tore herself away after a final embrace, rushing towards the east. As she ran, she thought of something that bothered her. They had told her that it was three men who took Sota away.
But there were four, she thought, perplexed. What happened to the other one? But she had no time to be worrying about that now. She had larger concerns... how on earth would she find Sota? There was no guarantee they were still heading east. It had been hours, so what if they'd changed direction? She could only sense youki, and other spiritual energy. And once she found him, then what? She didn't want to think of what she'd have to do to get him back. But she had to get him back. At any cost. She couldn't let him die... not that!
Just as she'd resolved this, Kagome felt the bone-chillingly familiar sensation that she usually got when she could detect youki nearby.
Stopping in her tracks, she turned back to the village and stared up in horror.
A swarm of yokai were approaching the shrine from the sky in the distance. It wasn't nearly as vast as the last one, but it was clearly still substantial. Kagome's heart dropped. A few seconds later, the she could hear the drums sounding again. In the distance, she caught sight of Kaede and a few villagers heading to defend the shrine.
Kagome turned back around in dismay, looking in the distance to where Sota likely was. Then she turned back the village. Even with just a glance, she could tell that the yokai would be too much for just Kaede. Her spirits plummeted. Why? Why were they choosing to attack now? Things were already in shambles.
And then, Inuyasha's face flashed in her mind. All at once, what he'd said about the men came back to her: about how they'd likely entered into a deal with demons to steal the Jewel.
They planned this, Kagome realized, stricken with a sickening feeling. They had stolen Sota away, intending to lure her from the shrine, so that the demons could overwhelm the village and seize the Shikon no Tama!
Her heart shattering, she looked back in the direction she'd been running in, every fiber of her being yearning to continue dashing forward and getting her brother back. Her breathing became heavy and ragged as she tried to control her fury and grief. She remembered what she'd told Inuyasha about her duty as a priestess, what she'd told Kaede about how she knew what her responsibilities to the village were. But, truth be told, Kagome didn't need to remember. She had known, the instant she had sensed the demonic aura, what she was going to do now. It wasn't fair. It was never fair. But that didn't change what was right.
She could hear the screams of the villagers as they all ran for cover. The demons would make contact soon.
Forgive me, Sota.
Gritting her teeth, she tore her eyes away and ran back towards the village.
Kagome's heart wailed with every step she took towards the shrine. She knew she was growing further and further away from Sota with each passing second. But she willed herself to hide her pain.
She was closing in on the shrine. The demons were not too far away. She could sense that the Shikon Jewel was still nearby, and that its pure aura was intact, but she needed to make sure that it hadn't been moved from its room. Bursting into the quarters where the Jewel was kept, she saw it hung across its frame as it always was. Its hue was as pale pink and pearly as ever, the glowing, cloudlike aura surrounding it still uncorrupted.
She shut and bolted the door, then sprinted back into her room to load more arrows into her quiver. As she did, she spotted the beni with the rest of her things on her little shelf. Why not? She had a few more seconds. She seized the shelled compact, opened it up, dipped two fingers into the brilliant base and slashed them across her lips. She raced back outside.
Kaede had reached the shrine by now, and stood at the entrance with her bow poised, preparing to defend it against the oncoming horde.
"What-Kagome, child! I thought-"
"I'll handle this, baa-chan," she said, determined. "You go on with the villagers to find Sota. Please."
Kaede looked as though she would protest, but shut her mouth, and gave a knowing nod.
"May the gods be with ye, my child," she muttered, and set off with Rikichi.
Fiercely, Kagome stared down the demons as they approached. They soared in on a black, swirling cloud of doom, sullying the skies with their overpowering youki. Their eyes, yellow and red and black and leering, their snakelike tongues hissing, their scaly, rubbery and flailing bodies with their numerous appendages and wraithlike forms, the air thick with their bloodlust, their vulgar, malicious cries for the Jewel, their abuses towards the ones who safeguarded it.
They didn't scare her. All Kagome felt was rage.
"You picked the wrong one," she snarled.
Raising her bow, she strung her first arrow and let it fly.
It exploded with her pink reiki, shooting tip-first into the swarm and slicing clean through it, severing several dozens of their bodies at once. They scattered in alarm, and the remaining yokai descended towards her, intending to strike all at once. She was too quick for them. She drew her bow and shot arrow after arrow, dissipating all the ravenous creatures.
Her body rippled with anger. But, although her arrows were aimed at the yokai, all that flashed in her mind were the faces of the men who'd taken Sota. Her anger mounted as she imagined how they might have done it. How they'd broken into the house where her mother and brother slept. How they'd probably dragged off a completely unresisting Sota. He was sick, you monsters, she thought, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes again. What could they be doing with him right now? How frightened might he be? It was all for the sake of the Jewel. They'd probably already been paid to create this diversion. And now, here she was, fighting off these loathsome creatures all because of them.
Inuyasha had been right. Those men were worse than she'd thought. How could she have missed this...? She remembered their leader's face when he'd looked back at them all that day. That sinister smirk when he saw Sota with Kagome. He'd heard him call her "nee-chan". He'd had this planned ever since then, and no one was the wiser. And now, she had to pay for her folly as though for a crime.
Had those men honestly thought that she would abandon her duties because of this? Did they think she would have chosen to pursue them anyway, and risk letting the Jewel fall into demons' hands? They were the real fools. Kagome may be a lot of things, but a hypocrite was not one of them. No one could protect the Jewel but her. So how could she ever let personal things get in the way of that responsibility?
Still. As she cleared the sky of the demons completely, every passing minute made her feel more hopeless. How was she going to get Sota back now? They were probably many li away. How would she face her mother? Her throat burned, and she barely registered her actions. Her body acted mechanically, shooting her reiki-infused missiles until the last demon disintegrated.
As the sky cleared, the darkness brought on by the yokai disappeared. The late afternoon sun shone down on her. Hours had already passed since she'd heard the news, but it wasn't too late. She'd broken a sweat, but there hadn't been all that many demons. She could still look for Sota.
Kagome ran down the steps, heart hammering in her chest. There was no sign of Kaede or the other villagers from before: they must have gone ahead to search. She figured she should go back to the house to check on her mother first. Then, it came to her that it might be a good idea to look for evidence there, too. There had been several men. Maybe at least one of them dropped a clue of sorts in his room. Kagome could only hope.
The house stood silently where it was. No one was out and about. They were all probably still sheltering from the demon attack. She rushed to the door and pushed it open, still finding it disgraceful that this was what it took for her to cross the threshold of her childhood again.
"Mother?" she called from the entryway. Silence. That was concerning. She paused, and that was when she heard something like murmuring coming from the furthest room. Sota's! Was someone in there...? The door was shut. She ran towards it, her heart in her mouth.
"Mama!" she said, breathlessly, as she burst in the doorway, slamming it open. Then her voice caught in her throat at what she saw there.
Her mother was crouched down over Sota's futon. In one corner of the room sat Kaede, looking careworn. In the futon lay Sota himself. And, to her utter shock, in the other corner of the room, looking on at the scene, sat Inuyasha.
W-What...?
"Nee-chan!" Sota exclaimed cheerfully, his eyes shining. "You're here! I didn't think I'd see you till tomorrow."
"Oh, Kagome!" her mother said, straightening up and looking relieved. "Thank goodness. I was so worried about you fighting those demons. Are you hurt?"
Kagome blinked. Was she losing her mind? Had she imagined her entire morning? It looked like Sota had never been gone.
To her left, she saw Inuyasha straightening up in his corner where he sat cross-legged. He cleared his throat.
"I heard the drums this morning and figured I should check things out," he said. And Kagome could not for the life of her understand why her heart sped up tenfold at the sound of his voice. "I found out what happened after you'd already left to fight the yokai. Wasn't too difficult to find where they'd taken him. Their scent was still pretty warm." His tone was calm and level, not a hint of a grudge in it.
Kagome blinked again. She was hearing the words, but they were taking longer to process. And had she even fully caught her breath yet?
"They had a couple of demons with them too, but I took care of 'em. I could've pursued the men further, but the kid was hurt, so I just brought him back with me."
Kagome's eyes now darted back to Sota, and for the first time she noticed that her mother had a washcloth and basin in her hands. She looked more closely at Sota and saw that his arm was wrapped in a bandage, one that was already soiled with muddy red blood. She stood there, quite still, letting everything she'd just heard sink in.
"Don't worry, they're all still alive." Inuyasha was referring to the men.
Kagome made no answer. Wordlessly, she stepped into the room and walked towards Sota. Kneeling down by his futon, she checked his arm. The wound wasn't the freshest, but it was quite a gash and had barely even begun to heal. Summoning her reiki, she held his arm with one hand and raised the other over the wound, murmuring the incantations that would heal it.
Once the wound closed up and his arm looked as good as new, she looked him over, trying to find any other injuries.
"Nee-chan, it's okay," he laughed lightheartedly. "I'm fine, see? Inuyasha nii-chan saved me before those guys could do anything. You should've seen him! He really sent them packing. They were so scared."
Kagome did nothing except to continue looking for wounds. She caught a few light scratches on his neck and cheek, some almost invisible tears in the back of his hands. She started on those next. She didn't say a word.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Inuyasha rise to his feet eventually. "I'll get going now," he said. "You all stay alert. More demons might show up."
Silence, because everyone seemed to be wondering what she would say to that. But she made not a sound.
"Kagome?" Kaede said quietly.
Kagome didn't answer. When finished, she got to her feet, leaving her bow and arrows on the ground. Then, taking measured, deliberate steps, she made her way towards Inuyasha.
He looked slightly surprised to see her walking towards him. Kagome noted it all, the wary eyes, the uncertain stance, the lips slightly parted. She was aware of how solemn she looked. She was aware that all other eyes were on her, but for once, she paid them no mind.
Instead, she drew close to Inuyasha and flung her arms around him. Sinking into his chest, she finally broke down in tears and wept like a child.
Everyone in the room was stunned. But no one more than Inuyasha. Wide-eyed, he stared down at the woman who clung to him. Slowly, hesitantly, he raised his arms and placed them around her. His hand found the back of her head.
As he did so, Kagome inhaled his scent. It was comforting, nothing at all like she'd expected. Had he always smelled this way? Something about it seemed nostalgic. But she couldn't bother with placing it now. He's so warm, she thought. I think I'll stay here a while.
Almost an hour had passed, and the afternoon sun was quite a bit lower now.
A few villagers had begun to come out and inspect any damages to the shrine or other surroundings. Thanks to Kagome's prowess and quick response, there was minimal, if any.
Kaede had left with them, murmuring a quick farewell to Kagome's mother.
Sota had been put to bed after being given some food, a damp warm washcloth on his forehead. He was still recovering from a fever, after all.
Kagome was sitting in the grass a little ways away from the house. She was still within their sight. But everyone figured that she needed some time alone.
As he stood in the entryway of the house, this was what Inuyasha was looking at.
The priestess had been quiet ever since he'd seen her again. She sat hugging her knees loosely, looking up at the sky. He wanted to know what she was thinking. But he had no idea how he was supposed to proceed after what she'd done inside.
"You should talk to her."
Caught unawares, he turned to see Kagome's mother at his elbow. He thought she was still tending to the boy; but she'd somehow come outside to join him without his noticing.
"I mean it," she continued. "She's had a really tough day." She spoke in a very soft voice, and there was much kindness in her face. Her eyes were warm and pleasant. Or perhaps it was just the relief from having her son back which made it seem so. In any case, all of this made the resemblance between her and her daughter even more pronounced.
"I won't know what to say," Inuyasha said shortly.
"I understand," she said, smiling. "You may not need to know. She would appreciate you just going over. Kagome's very protective over our family. I know she's very grateful to you."
He shrugged, feeling a little uncomfortable. "I didn't do much. I knew there'd be nothin' to it."
"It's not nothing to us," she said gently. "We aren't ones to forget when someone does us a good turn. And you've been so good to me, in particular. You saved my daughter that day, and now you've saved my son."
The sincerity in her voice, the way she didn't seem to have any qualms about talking to him so kindly despite knowing what he was... it was no wonder the priestess's family meant so much to her. He wished he had the right words for her, but something told him she wasn't the type to begrudge him for that.
"Go on, now," she whispered, gesturing towards Kagome with her head. And so, warily, Inuyasha made his way to where she sat.
As she heard him approach, she looked up.
"Hi," she said. Her voice sounded a little cracked. How much had she cried? After she'd hugged him, she'd gone over to her mother and wept in her arms some more, and then the two of them swept the boy into their embrace as well. Inuyasha had seen them do something similar when they met at the shrine. He wondered if this was some kind of tradition for them.
She was moving up to make space for him on the grassy mound, even though she needn't have. There was plenty of space on the hill.
"Hey," he said, sitting down next to her, cross-legged. "You doin' okay?"
"Think so." She rubbed her eye with a sleeve, and managed a little smile. Her face was a little pink and puffy still.
So cute.
He gave his head a little shake and cleared his throat, looking at the sun instead.
"Sorry about that earlier," she was saying. "I don't know what came over me. I just felt like I had to do that."
He shook his head again. "Don't apologize for that." In truth, he was still so stunned she did it, he didn't know what to say. Holding her like that... he'd never imagined he'd have such a chance. Certainly not after their argument.
"I wanted to... to make sure I thanked you for what you did," she said, her voice on the verge of trembling. "I was so scared. I thought we would lose him. If it weren't for you, who knows where he'd be by now. Thank you so much, Inuyasha."
"No worries."
"I realized I've been thanking you a lot lately. It sometimes feels like that's all I ever do." She giggled. He couldn't help giving a slight smile himself.
"You really don't have to. I mean, what was I gonna do, leave without doin' anything?"
"I wouldn't blame you if you had," she said, giving a shuddering sigh. She looked away, her eyes downcast in seeming shame. "After what I said to you."
"Ah."
She looked back at him, blinking rapidly, a nervous yet hopeful look on her face. "I... I've been meaning to tell you. I wanted to say this before today, I promise. But... I'm so sorry for what I said that night. You'd just helped me yet again, and I turned around and accused you unfairly. I can't imagine how it must have made you feel. I implied something about you based on my own feelings, and... well, I shouldn't have done that. You were right to be angry."
He did a good job of not letting on just how amazed he was at her words. A human, a priestess at that, apologizing to him? He cleared his throat again and shifted a little uncomfortably.
"I mean it's not like I was innocent either," he said honestly. "I did call you a coward. That was out of line. I can't be sayin' stuff like that and expect you to not get mad. I'm sorry too."
"Oh," she said, as though surprised that she'd forgotten about this. "That's true. I guess I didn't like that. I'd already been having a rough day."
"You tend to have a lot of those," he couldn't help saying. "You're only human. I get it." He shut his mouth fast after that. That was close. He needed to be careful not to be obvious with these things. He was thankful her hearing wasn't anywhere near as good as his, otherwise she might definitely have picked up on his louder heartbeat.
"Still," she pressed. "I was wrong to treat you like that. I shouldn't be projecting all my fears onto you just because you're a demon. And, well. You were clearly right about those men, too. I, uh..." she took another deep breath, clearly struggling to say what she was trying to. She grimaced, and looked away again. "I made the wrong call. I shouldn't have let them go."
She looked so defeated, so tired, so disappointed in herself. It made Inuyasha want to seize her in his arms again, but he resisted the urge. Instead, he spoke.
"Actually," he said. "That's not entirely true."
"It's not?"
"No." He owed her the truth on this one. Looking her directly into her inquisitive eyes, he said, "You remember that one guy with the knife? Guy named Taro, or whatever? When I got to the village today, he was the one who told me what happened."
"He did?" she breathed, wide-eyed.
"Yeah. Everyone else was already hiding because of the demon attack, so I had no idea that something else was going on. He found me and told me what the other guys did and where they were taking your brother. I was able to find him faster because of that."
"But why would he do that?"
Inuyasha shrugged. "Grateful that you let him go even after he tried to attack me. Relieved I didn't pound him into the ground when I had the chance. He didn't agree with what his friends were doing, thought they'd gone too far. It probably wouldn't have happened if you'd never shown them mercy. I guess he wanted to make things right."
Kagome was blinking into her lap, looking stunned, hands on her knees as she processed this information. "Wow," she said softly. "So that's why there were only three of them."
"Yeah. So, it wasn't the wrong call. Not totally."
At his words, she looked up again and gave Inuyasha the sweetest, most gracious smile. His heart skipped another beat, and he had to remind himself to keep his face impassive. "I'd been doubting myself so much lately," she said, more to herself than to him. "I'm so happy you've shared that with me."
Inuyasha sighed. "Yeah, and it can't've helped, me saying what I did to ya back then," he said. "I shouldn't have been so pushy. You were right, you're in charge here. I'd already agreed to abide by what you and the old lady said, I had no right to go back on that."
It had been unfair to get upset with her, he realized. He had to remember that to her, he was still just a demon she'd met some weeks ago. Why should he expect her to think about the things they'd once talked about all those months back?
"No," Kagome said, shaking her head eagerly. "Even so, you had a point. I wouldn't have treated those men the same if they were demons. Look at what I did to the demons who showed up today."
He snickered. "True, but it's not like demons would've ever acted the way those guys did," he said, amused. "Their plan was to be underhanded, pretending to be travelers. Yokai don't exactly send calling cards. They just attack."
"You didn't," Kagome said softly after a pause, looking down at the ground again, as though in deep thought. "You've never done anything but be good to us. I have no reason to lump you in with the demons who've meant us harm."
Inuyasha swallowed hard. She was looking at him so openly. He could tell she meant every word she said. How could he tell her what he was thinking? That the reason he'd been so aggressive that night was because of the rage he felt over the man who'd grasped her hand that way? Because he couldn't imagine what he'd do should those bastards come back to hurt her?
He couldn't stop staring at her. With her soft, glossy blue-black waves that framed her face even as they were tied back, her deep, cocoa-brown eyes, the pale skin which still tinted rosy at the cheeks despite her fatigue... he found her wholly enchanting.
She was even more beautiful than she'd been in the cave. How could he have gone so long without being near her all this time...?
"What is it?"
She'd caught him staring.
"Oh." He quickly looked away. "Nothing. Just... you're wearing the beni today. It looks nice."
"Oh," she laughed. She reached up to touch her lips with her fingers. Inuyasha felt envious of them. "Yeah. I'm glad I was able to put it on today. It gives me confidence." Inuyasha thought she'd stop there, but she went on. "I know you've been curious about the person who gave it to me. You know," and her voice dropped a little, "in a way, the things he told me were kind of what helped me give you a chance. At least a little."
He had to fight to keep his tone casual. He never imagined she'd bring this up on her own. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. He was... surprisingly wise. Not what you'd expect from a wounded stranger you happened to come across. He gave me a lot to think about. After that night, I... well, I've considered myself spoken for. I never saw him again, but it doesn't change what we shared."
"Aren't you upset about that? That he just left and didn't come to see you for so long?" He couldn't face her. He simply couldn't.
Kagome sighed again. "Of course I was. But, I couldn't lose hope. Maybe when the beni runs out, and I can't remind myself that I'm taken, I'll face reality. Heck, I might as well do it now, since all of this is a pipe-dream anyway. Miko can't have such relations. I might just have been holding on to a fantasy."
"What... what was it about him that drew you to him?" Inuyasha asked carefully.
"Hmm." She pointed her face to the sun as she considered this. She seemed to like the fact that he was asking. "Well. He was kind. He was the first person who cared to know what I wanted. No one's really asked about what I want before. He was really fun to talk to. It was so interesting to listen to him. It was like he'd always known his own mind. And I felt like he was interested in what I had to say, too. And, well," she blushed prettily. "He was very romantic. And he had the most beautiful eyes."
Inuyasha was glad that she was looking away. "That... that covers it pretty well, I guess," he mumbled. This was strange. The things she was saying... they ought to have made him nothing but pleased. They did, but why did they leave him feeling so hollow at the same time?
Kagome smiled. Reaching down, she plucked a round fluffy dandelion and started twirling it between her fingers. "I guess I do wonder why he never came. That's the only thing I can't understand. I wish I knew if he'd ever planned to look for me. I wish I knew he was alive. Sometimes I worry that he was attacked again, and that there was no one to heal him this time. That's what scares me the most, the thought that I'll never find out what happened to him. I guess I'm hurt that I could be so easily forgotten."
"I don't think you need to worry about that."
"What do you mean?"
He turned his eyes on her fully again, wishing he could express more than he was about to. "He would have to be crazy to ever forget about you," he said solemnly.
The look of surprise on her face made her even more endearing to him. The color rose in her cheeks, and her wide eyes shone brighter. Smiling, she looked back at the dandelion, letting the small cloudlike bristles drift into the air. "You're nice to say that."
He shrugged. "It's the truth." It was torture for him, not being able to reach out and touch her. How much longer could he possibly last without baring all?
She sighed again. "Well, I wish I knew that he agreed with that," she said at last, rubbing her eye again. "I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. I'm... starting to forget what he looked like." He saw that, even as she gave him a gentle smile, she was brushing away moisture from her eyes again. It almost broke him to see.
"Hey," he said, in a low voice, "hey, it's okay." He inched a little closer, began to reach out a hand, and then stopped. He couldn't touch her when she was vulnerable, he couldn't take advantage of her like this. There was too much she didn't know. Her throwing herself at him in tears was one thing; that had been her choice. If she noticed his hesitation, she didn't mention it.
"Can I ask you something?" she said presently.
"Sure."
"When you came today, you already saw that demons were about to attack the shrine. So how come you went to save Sota instead? Wouldn't you have rather come to help protect the Jewel?"
"I thought about it," he said after a pause. I thought about coming to you so you wouldn't have to be alone. "But, I knew you'd had that handled. You can take on demons just fine. But I don't know how well you'd take on losing your brother."
"You really thought I could handle them all on my own?" she said, sounding pleasantly surprised.
"'Course. Watching you fight is incredible." He turned back to her again, intending to say more, but the look on her face stopped him. She was gazing up at him, blinking rapidly as though this was the highest compliment he could have paid her. It took his words away.
"Well," she said, attempting to speak without smiling, "you're stronger than anyone I've ever seen. The way you broke that guy's knife was so cool. You didn't even flinch! I kept remembering that, even when you weren't here."
Inuyasha scratched the back of his head, looking for an excuse to keep her from seeing his blush. "Nothin' to it," he mumbled. She laughed girlishly, which he couldn't help but crack a smile to hear.
"I'm still a Shrine Maiden," Kagome said. "My responsibilities and priorities haven't changed. But that doesn't have to mean that we can't be friends. Whether you meant to, you've already been a really good one."
Inuyasha mulled this over, stunned by what she had just said. Did she realize how meaningful this was? "I've never really had friends," he said at last.
"Hey, me neither!" she said excitedly, and he grinned again. "Do you think we could be? Only if you want to, of course."
Geez. How'm I supposed to say no to a face like that?
"Won't it makes things harder on you?"
"It might," she admitted. "But I don't see how things would be better for me if we weren't friends. Besides, after what you did today, there's no reason why people should doubt you anymore." Her eyes softened as she spoke again. "And it's not just about that. I want to make up for misjudging you. Inuyasha, I know you've got someone to repay here. I don't know what you need to do, but I want to tell you that you're always welcome here. I won't let anyone ban you from this village. You have my word."
Inuyasha gazed at her, his pulse quickening again. Wow. She was being so earnest. He cast his mind for what to say, lost for words by how lovely she looked with the sun shining behind her.
Wait... behind her?
He looked at the sky and realized with a jolt that the sun was very, very low. How on earth had that happened so fast? He'd been keeping an eye on it, or at least he was supposed to.
He jumped to his feet abruptly, his heart hammering. "I've got to take off," he said. He felt rattled; it wasn't like him to be this careless on a night like this.
"Oh, why so suddenly?" Kagome asked mildly.
"Sorry," he said, loathe to see the disappointment in her face. "I wasn't actually plannin' on going anywhere today. I came by because of the drums, but I really oughta leave before nightfall."
"Well, all right," Kagome relented. "Good night."
"But I'll be back tomorrow," he said, hoping that would ease her mood some. "And... I've nothin' against being friends. If I was gonna befriend anyone, I'd rather it was you, Kagome."
When she didn't make a response, Inuyasha turned back to her. She was still sitting there, but now she was staring up at him, with sparkling eyes and a look of absolute wonder on her face. She'd never looked at him like that before.
"What's up?"
"You've never addressed me by name before," she said, still looking enraptured.
"I haven't?"
She shook her head, still beaming.
"Well, what of it?"
"I just feel like we're really friends now, is all."
He couldn't help but chuckle. "I'll be sure to say it more, then."
Ahh, it's always so great to get to write from Inuyasha's perspective ^.^ Oh, we're about to have another moonless night, y'all. You might want to stick around for the next chapter *shhh*.