After spending a fair amount of time in the shop that caught her attention with such an amazing poster, Octavia almost grimaced upon realizing how much cash she spent on trinkets as she walked out with a small paper bag in hand. Thankfully her credit card translated to Human money when needed, a small gift from her dad that she rarely used considering the tiny number of times she had been to the Living World.
"Huh… who'd have thought Humans could have some awesome tastes," she commented, admiring the small skeletal figurine of a Gremlin that she had just purchased before opening up her main bag.
Suddenly popping her head out, Snowflake gave the Goetia an annoyed glare, as if she were telling her off.
"What?" Octavia asked, raising an eyebrow before groaning in annoyance when the little fox tried to bring out the Grimoire from inside the bag. "For the dozenth time, no! I'm NOT going back!"
Once again, Snowflake tried to make the Goetia see sense and once again she was immediately shut down. True, the little fox sympathized with Octavia's troubles, but even she knew that she was going about them the wrong way. As such, whenever things weren't looking Octavia's way, the Kitsune pup quickly pulled out the magical book and showed it to the young Owl Demon as if to show her that using it was the most obvious solution. Alas, she hadn't considered just how stubborn Octavia could be when she was upset or angry, and right now she was a little bit of both.
"I'm sorry for snapping, Snowy," Octavia sighed, her face softening as she gave the little fox a small pet behind the ear. "I know you're just trying to look out for me, but I just can't go back yet. I need… I just need something to go right today. So I can't give up!"
As much as Snowflake didn't like the situation, the little fox knew that she wasn't going to win this argument. As such, she reluctantly sighed and pushed the Grimoire back down into the bag with her, allowing Octavia to gain a small smile on her face.
"Thanks, girl," she said, giving the pouting Kitsune another scratch behind the ear.
Of course, the Goetia Princess wasn't as completely heartless as many make her out to be. Reaching into the paper bag and pulling out a small container filled with strips of beef jerky,
"Hey, want a little snack?" she asked, pulling out one of the tiny strips of dried meat.
The moment the strong, meaty smell hit her nose, Snowflake's ears instantly perked up and both her tails wagged like crazy as she began panting like an excited puppy. No matter what the situation was, there was no better cure for Snowflake's sour face than to play in her weakness for treats.
"So… bribe accepted?" Octavia asked with a smirk.
Suddenly, before she could even blink, Snowflake shot her head out of the bag, grabbed the rest of the beef jerky in her mouth and dove back inside. Curling up within the depths of it like she was cuddling up in her own makeshift burrow, Snowflake unknowingly gave the Goetia her answer via the sounds of happy yipping and munching.
"Guess I'll take that as a yes," Octavia commented with another smirk as she placed the rest of her purchases in the bag and carried on down the street. "Okay, now which way should I… huh?"
Suddenly, a large building that appeared to be a large castle in the distance caught her attention, so much so that she couldn't help but head over towards it if only to satisfy her curiosity.
"Huh… ya know, that place kinda reminds me of home," she uttered, once again pulling out her phone.
Meanwhile, hearing everything from within the Goetia Princess's bag, Snowflake took a brief break from her indulgence to let out a small sigh of disappointment. She only hoped that Octavia would eventually see sense sooner rather than later… otherwise she would never be able to look her daddy in the eye again without feeling ashamed of herself. In any case, all she could do now was sit back, enjoy her meaty treats and wait for the next chance to deter the young Goetia from her recklessness.
Little did the tiny fox realize, that particular Sinner was a lot closer than she believed. Ploughing its way through traffic with Mick, Linda and Wimzy in the back seats, the otherwise empty tour bus was being recklessly driven by what all three of them could only describe as a raving lunatic!
"PISS OFF, YOU FUCKING TEABAG! GO STICK THAT LICENSE UP YOUR ARSE! HEY! GET OUT OF THE ROAD, YOU WANKER!"
Those were merely some of the rage-induced obscenities that burst out of Jerry's mouth as he continued to force his bus through the heavy traffic, with Mick, Linda and Wimzy hanging on to dear life as the bus swayed with each turn.
"This was a BAD idea!" Mick commented, immediately regretting the role he played in getting everyone in this scenario.
"Well… at least he's helping us get to where we're going?" Wimzy pointed out awkwardly, only to receive an annoyed glare from the Sinner for her trouble.
"For the record, if we survive this, I am SO stuffing you back in that pet carrier!" he retorted, not that Wimzy could blame him for such a reaction.
"I'm just surprised that he actually accepted your weed as payment," Linda chimed in, trying her best not to throw up.
At those words, Mick couldn't help but let out an irritated sigh as he thought back to the initial exchange that got them all into this mess. After Jerry had taken one sniff of the marijuana grown in the depths of Hell, he had taken an instant liking to it, so much so that he refused to take anyone onto his bus unless Mick gave him all that he had. Lacking the patience or the time to barter with him, Mick secretly managed to pocket two joints before giving the rest to the bus driver. Regardless of the deception, Jerry was more or less satisfied with the payment and agreed to take them where they needed to go. Now that they were actually in the vehicle, however, the Sinner quickly began to wonder if it was even worth it.
"Wish he didn't insist on keeping the container, though," Mick commented, practically mourning the loss of his property as he patted down the two remaining sticks that were in his hoodie. "This is barely enough to get me through the rest of the day."
"Never really took you for a pothead," Wimzy commented, suddenly gasping when she realized what came out of her mouth. "No offence!"
"It's medicinal," Mick retorted, not even remotely insulted due to having heard such a comment far too many times since he started smoking the stuff. "Plus it's good shit. Better than most stuff you find down in Hell."
Hearing that, Linda immediately nodded her head.
"Mhm," she uttered. "I'm not really a smoker myself but I can vouch for how calming that stuff can be."
Hearing that, Wimzy couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.
"Huh, guess that's why you were so confident in offering the driver part of your stash." the Cherub commented, actually managing to get a chuckle to escape Mick's throat.
"Oh yeah, what stress-filled… rage-induced man wouldn't want a way to take the edge off?" he half-joked, almost falling off his seat as the bus suddenly made another sharp turn.
"Plus, at least we didn't have to pay for Wimzy here since no one else can see her… well, no Human anyway," Linda added, barely hanging onto the chair herself.
The moment Linda brought that particular detail up, Mick quickly stopped laughing and gave Wimzy an inquisitive look.
"Yeah… interesting trick, that," he commented, raising an eyebrow. "Makes me wonder what else you failed to mention up until now."
"Yeah, Wimzy," Linda added, straightening herself up in her chair. "In fact, now that we have some time, why don't you tell us a little about yourself? I gotta admit, I have been a little curious about you since we met."
That particular statement, however, only gave Mick cause to roll his eyes and let out a small huff.
"Speak for yourself," he asked, not particularly interested in listening to the Cherub's life story.
"Y-yeah," Wimzy added sheepishly. "It's not really that important, is it?"
Linda, however, wasn't going to back down so easily. Given the nightmare of a ride they were all currently on, the disguised Imp desperately needed a distraction to take her mind off things.
"Oh come on," she insisted. "Consider it, um… a trust exercise! Yeah, if we're working together, you can at least tell us why you're here on earth. You here on a job or something?"
Hearing that, after the briefest moment of hesitation, a small smile crept upon the Cherub's little face.
"Well… okay," she said, her smile quickly growing into a full excited grin. "For the sake of our friendship!"
"Wow, that escalated quickly," Mick uttered, understandably taken aback by the Angel's sudden enthusiasm before letting out a defeated sigh. "Alright, what's your story?"
The moment that question was spoken aloud, Wimzy's wings gave a small but giddy flutter as she gave the two disguised Demons a big smile.
"Okay, where to start?" she muttered to herself before her eyes lit up. "Ooh! Have either of you ever heard of a company called C.H.E.R.U.B.?"
In response to that, both Mick and Linda simultaneously let out a small, exasperated groan.
"You mean those three stuck-up showboaters with that annoying commercial?" Mick asked, much to Wimzy's surprise.
"You SAW that?" she exclaimed, her face plastered with shock.
"Are you kidding?" Mick retorted. "That piece of garbage has been plastered all over our TVs for months. And no matter how many times I try to drown it out, I can never seem to get that fucking tune out of my head!"
"We have a fair amount of inter-spiritual cable down in Hell," Linda elaborated, though no less annoyed than Mick upon reliving the memory of the first time she saw that particular commercial on the Staff TV back at the mansion. "We even get Earth TV sometimes... a lot of it is bootlegged though."
"Hey, I'd rather watch any of that than whatever those three morons have to say," Mick pointed out. "Hell, even that god-awful presidential campaign was better entertainment."
"Wait, you mean where that crazy lady, Tankthrust got elected?" Wimzy asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That's the one," Mick confirmed with a light shudder. "I swear the people of Pentagram City were celebrating for months after that one, never seen so many tears of joy in my afterlife… then again there were a lot more tears of sorrow after she got kicked out of office."
"Mhm," Linda confirmed with a nod. "Even the news lady, Katie Killjoy was crying when she heard the news. Did a whole segment on it and everything. I think Tankthrust might have been her idol or something."
Hearing that, Mick actually couldn't help but raise an eyebrow from beneath his mask.
"Huh… now that you say that, I do recall seeing a similarity between the two of them," he commented. "Never could figure out what it was though."
At that moment, Wimzy had to take another brief moment to get over her fresh moment of surprise before shaking her head and continuing her explanation.
"Well anywho, I'm glad you're familiar with C.H.E.R.U.B. 'cause that actually makes explaining things a little easier," she said. "You see, I used to work for them, and I came down to Earth while on a job. After that, I pretty much fell in love with the pop culture down here. Haven't been back in Heaven for over a year now."
"Seriously?" Mick uttered, somewhat baffled by the Angel's reasoning. "You seriously ditched work to indulge in your fandoms?"
"In a manner of speaking," Wimzy replied, her voice slightly squeaky as Mick could have sworn he heard a small cough escape the Cherub's throat.
Well, whatever, it was none of his business anyway. In fact, in light of the situation, he couldn't care less about the Angel's flights of fancy. Deciding to take his mind off the conversation, Mick reached into his pocket and pulled out Desiree's bell. Holding it in his palm, he twirled it about with his finger before putting it back in his pocket alongside his Rosario.
"Why do you keep looking at that thing?" Linda asked in a hushed tone, taking notice of Mick's behaviour.
Mick couldn't fault Linda for noticing, of course. After all, it was hard not to, given that Mick had been double-checking his Crystal now and then ever since they first arrived in the Living World.
"Just making sure things are all in order," he replied reassuringly. "If our Crystals get damaged, we've lost our only way back to Hell."
Hearing the brief explanation, Linda immediately nodded her head in understanding.
"Fair enough," she replied, mentally taking note to check her own Crystal later.
Before she could say anything else, however, Linda suddenly noticed something through the bus window as the traffic began to thin out and the bus itself began to stabilize. Looking at the name of the road on the sign they had just passed, the disguised Imp quickly pulled out the pamphlet for the tour and double-checked the map on it. Quickly realizing her suspicions, her eyes immediately shrank to the size of pinheads.
"Uh… Mick?" she spoke up anxiously as she pushed the map into the Cat Demon's line of sight and pointed at one particular area. "We were supposed to go up THIS road, right?"
"Yeah," Mick answered, raising an eyebrow as he wondered what Linda was implying. "Why?"
"Well…" Linda replied with a small gulp as she pointed to a completely different area on the map. "I think we just went up THIS one instead."
Eyes widening with frantic horror, Mick snatched the map from Linda's hand and looked out the window to double-check the surrounding signs. Sure enough, Linda's suspicions were indeed correct. At some point, Jerry must have broken off from the designated route and was now on a completely different road. Now, in many situations like this, one would argue that this was simply a mistake, and the driver simply hadn't had the chance to find an appropriate turn that led to the predestined destination. HOWEVER, the road the bus was currently on was WAY too far away from the drop-off point and only seemed to be spreading the distance more and more from it.
Given how much their ride was swerving and thrashing, it was no wonder that everyone didn't realize that they were going in the wrong direction. However, that didn't make them feel any less stupid for not doing so sooner, especially considering that the bus now seemed to be going uphill.
By the time the bus finally came to a stop, it was only after it pulled up to a secluded area just behind the Hollywood sign, far away from the wandering eyes of the local tourists who were currently taking pictures on their phones. Upon seeing where they were, Jerry's passengers were understandably confused, scared, and in Mick's case, angry.
"The fuck?!" he exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the driver. "Hey buddy, this isn't the drop-off point!"
Needless to say, the second Jerry started to let out a small chuckle in response to the outburst, Linda immediately cowered in her seat.
"Yeah, and I ain't a driver no more," he stated, causing everyone's jaws to drop just as he began to grab his lighter and ignite one of the joints he took from Mick.
"Say what?" the Sinner uttered, barely keeping his nerves together.
"Yeah, got the sack for violent behaviour just this morning," Jerry elaborated, taking a few puffs of the joint before letting out a satisfied sigh. "Turns out the last tour really WAS my last."
Hearing that, Mick couldn't resist the urge to bang the back of his head against the seat.
"I knew this was too good to be true," he uttered. "I FUCKING knew it!"
Needless to say, there were a few choice words Mick wanted to have with a certain Angel if and when he and Linda managed to get out of their newest situation.
"Look asshole," he snarled. "We're not in the mood for-"
CLICK!
"Eep!"
"-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he's got a gun… of course."
The moment Jerry pulled out the small revolver from his pocket and pointed it straight at his passengers, two pairs of hands immediately shot up in surrender. True, Mick wasn't sure if he could even die a second time in the Human world, or if mortal weapons could even harm him any more, but suffice it to say he wasn't in any rush to find out.
"W-what do you want!?" Linda whimpered as Jerry rose from his seat and started strutting towards the disguised Demons.
"I wanna know where you freaks got this stuff," the man answered, pulling Mick's weed canister from his other pocket, not once taking his eye off his targets.
Upon seeing the object in the driver's hand, Mick immediately groaned with agitation.
"Are you fucking kid-" he began to say, only to be immediately silenced by Jerry turning the safety off his gun. "Oh, fuck me in the asshole."
"I suggest you shut up unless spoken to, mate," the bus driver growled. "Or the first one is going in your dick and HER non-existent tit."
The moment those words left Jerry's mouth, Linda immediately wrapped her arms around Mick's torso like a frightened koala, not that the Sinner could blame her after hearing such a threat.
"Now, as I was saying," Jerry continued. "I wanna know where you got this hash, 'cause this is high-quality shit if I ever saw it. And I highly doubt some weasel wanker like you has the means to get it without making a good deal with your supplier."
So this was what this stickup was all about? Some fucking WEED!? True the stuff was extremely good, but Mick never thought it would warrant anyone inciting a stickup over it. Either Hell-grown marijuana just had a different effect on living Humans, or Mick had just been in Hell WAY too long to not realize it.
"How… elementary of you," the disguised Sinner uttered, trying desperately not to say anything that might piss Jerry off.
"Of course, I doubt you'd be willing to share the information without some… motivation," Jerry further elaborated, clearly liking the sound of his own voice given how much he was smirking. "So I figured taking us up here would be the best place for us to… talk."
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight," Mick replied with a small gulp, wondering whether the man was high, deranged or somehow a combination of the two.
"Now, why don't you both stay in your seats and keep quiet," Jerry instructed. "I'm just gonna see if I can grab us some pens and paper so we can get started on our… info exchange."
After that Jerry turned back towards the driver's seat and opened up a small compartment under the steering wheel before he began rummaging through several empty cigarette packs in search of something to write with. Meanwhile, his hostages were currently reeling with unease, though it was more due to anger in Mick's case.
"This is all your fa- the fuck!?" the disguised Sinner growled in Wimzy's direction, only to suddenly gasp upon seeing an empty seat.
Needless to say, upon noticing the sudden disappearance of their Angelic companion, both Mick and Linda's jaws dropped to the floor.
"Where'd she go!?" Linda squeaked, keeping her voice low to avoid grabbing Jerry's attention.
"She fucking ditched us, that's where she went!" Mick snapped, his gaze glaring at the now empty seat. "I knew we shouldn't have trusted that Angel!"
Unfortunately, Mick's outburst seemed to be loud enough to cause Jerry to snap his head back towards his two hostages.
"Oi! No muttering!" he snapped, once again aiming his gun at Mick and Linda. "Anything you have to say, you can say to the whole class!"
"Eep!" Linda squealed in fright. "Sorry!"
Luckily, Jerry didn't seem to be all too interested in what the two disguised Demons were talking about. And since he couldn't see Wimzy to begin with, he was none the wiser to her disappearance.
"Alright, now here's how this is gonna work," the deranged bus driver declared, brandishing the pen and notepad he managed to dig out of his glove compartment. "First you-"
CLANG!
"Urk!"
Suddenly, before Jerry could say another word, his eyes rolled back, his face contorted, and he suddenly fell forward, landing in a sprawled mess on the floor of the bus and revealing Wimzy hovering behind him, frying pan in hand.
"Wimzy!" Linda exclaimed in relief, actually happy to see that the Angel hadn't abandoned her and Mick.
The Sinner, on the other hand, gave the Cherub a stern glare.
"The hell did you go!?" he snapped, giving Wimzy cause to shrink a little.
"N-nowhere," she said sheepishly. "I just hovered above his head and grabbed the nearest blunt object is all. Guess some backpacker left this behind from one of the last tours."
Of course, this brief explanation didn't seem to be enough to satisfy Mick's need to scold the Cherub in front of him.
"Right, well you-" he began, rising out of his seat before jumping back in shock as Wimzy suddenly threw herself at his feet.
"I'm sorry!" she blurted out, dropping to her knees and bowing her head, much to Mick and Linda's bafflement.
"Huh!?" Muck exclaimed, having absolutely no idea how to respond to this.
To make matters even more awkward, Winzy began repeating the same word over and over again, almost bashing her head against the floor with low bows with each one.
"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!"
Upon seeing this, both Linda and Mick could only stare in unease, neither one of them able to comprehend what they were witnessing.
"Oh, dear," Linda uttered. "I think she's broken."
It was only after Wimzy said sorry for the 97th time did she finally stop to catch her breath, after which she finally managed to string a complete sentence together.
"I'm SO sorry about all this!" she yelped. "I swear I was just trying to help! I didn't know the driver was THIS crazy!"
"You… didn't know?" Mick repeated, his left eye twitching overhearing something he found completely ridiculous. "You did- ugh! You know what, I don't really care at this point! Let's just ditch this fucker and get back to town."
Clearly, in no mood to talk about what he and the others had just been through, Mick walked over to the now unconscious bus driver and kicked him over so that he was now facing the ceiling. After which he began rummaging through his pockets before taking his joint canister back.
"I'll take THAT!" he snapped, gladly pocketing his weed before giving Jerry a quick punch to the jaw, making doubly sure that he stayed knocked out. After which, he gave Linda and Wimzy a quick glance. "Alright, I'll lift him up, you two look for the lever for the doors. Once we kick the ass to the curb, we can drive the bus back."
Hearing that, Linda immediately began to tremble.
"S-sounds like a plan," she said, though clearly not liking the very idea of Mick driving. Mick may have been the lesser of two evils, but that didn't mean she preferred his driving to Jerry's.
Wasting no time, Mick picked Jerry up by his feet and started to drag him across the floor, not even remotely caring as the unconscious bus driver bonked his head on every solid object on his way to the door. Meanwhile, Linda and Wimzy quickly made their way over to the driver's seat and started looking through all the levers and knobs next to the steering wheel.
"Okay, which one of these opens the door?" Linda thought aloud, unable to tell anything apart from the clutch to the window wipers.
Wimzy, on the other hand, was a little less cautious than the Imp was.
"Oh I know!" she declared, quickly reaching out for one particular lever. "It's this one!"
"No, wait a minute!"
CLICK!
Alas, Linda's warning fell upon deaf ears as the Cat-like Cherub enthusiastically grabbed the lever and pulled it back, resulting in a small shudder to emanate throughout the entire bus and Mick suddenly losing his footing because of it.
"The fuck!?" the Sinner blurted out, suddenly finding himself staring at the ceiling after falling backwards.
Little did Mick know at the time, a whole new heap of trouble was just about to begin. Sitting himself up, he suddenly noticed that the scenery outside the bus's side windows appeared to be scrolling off to the side, slow at first, but gaining speed at a rapid pace. Quickly putting two and two together, Mick immediately snapped his head around to look at a guilty-looking Angel nervously shifting her eyes to avoid his gaze.
"Hehe… oops?" she uttered, much to Mick's further irritation.
"Put. The handbrake. BACK!"
Alas, it didn't matter how fast Wimzy and Linda reacted to Mick's command, the lever that the Cherub had pulled wouldn't budge.
"It's jammed!" Linda yelled fearfully, understandably frantic after seeing the bus gain more speed as it rolled backwards.
With their options dwindling faster than they could comprehend, Mick then had no choice but to make a rash decision.
"We're gonna have to jump!" he declared, carelessly ditching Jerry's unconscious body and rushing over to Linda, only to suddenly see her shrunken eyes of horror.
"Uh oh," she squeaked, her shaking hand suddenly pointing towards something towards the back end of the bus.
Following his friend's finger, Mick's eyes also shrank in horror when he saw what got her so frightened.
"Oh bugger me."
That was the last thing Mick would say before the bus rolled backwards down the hill with great speed before suddenly tumbling over an extremely steep drop.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Hanging onto each other for dear life, all Mick, Linda and Wimzy could do was scream and wait for the inevitable wreck that was to come. With no way to escape their predicament, they had no choice but to ride it out until the bus either coaxed to a stop or more likely, crashed. Worse still, while the Angel and Demons were busy screaming in terror, it was at that moment Jerry managed to let out a painful groan and sit back up.
"Ugh… the fuck just hit me!" he uttered, quickly grabbing everyone's attention.
"Oh, shit!" Linda screamed, feeling everything going from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. "He's awake!"
"What the!?" Jerry snapped, quickly noticing the disguised Demons staring at him and dizzily scurrying around for his gun. "You mother-"
THUMP!
"Whoa!"
CLANG!
Alas, Jerry's attempt to salvage his weapon soon became VERY short-lived. After a large rock found its way under the left back wheel of this bus, he was once again knocked out cold after being sent flying upward and smashing his head up against the ceiling, leaving a face-shaped dent in the roof of the vehicle. For the briefest moment after that, Mick, Linda and Wimzy actually found themselves somewhat dumbfounded.
"Ooooooookay," Mick said awkwardly. "So that was a thing."
"Uh… where were we?" Wimzy spoke up before suddenly feeling another large bump in the non-existent road.
THUMP!
"Oh right!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Once again screaming in terror, Jerry's awakening was forgotten almost immediately as the three individuals left standing continued their ride down the hill with no signs of slowing down. At that moment, Linda's eyes once again shrank upon seeing what was in the bus's current path.
"Oh, no!" she squealed, pointing ahead to show the others that the bus was fast approaching the base of the hill… and straight towards a road filled with ongoing traffic!
"Oh fuck, I'm gonna DIE… AGAIN!"
With that final scream, all Mick could do was instinctively hold Linda and Wimzy close and drop to the floor of the bus. Wrapping his arms around them tightly, he immediately braced himself for impact. However, had he bothered to keep looking out the now shattered window for a few more seconds, he and the others would have seen the broken billboard toppled over the edge of the road, one that was apparently still strong enough to serve as a ramp the instant the bus made it to the base of the hill.
WOOOOSH!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
CRASH!
After that, the only thing Mick and Linda remembered seeing just before blacking out were the screaming pedestrians, the birds flying past the window and an oncoming wall followed by dust and debris.
"Guh… aw we dere yet?"
That was about all Wimzy managed to blurt out before she too succumbed to unconsciousness.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Thank you all for following this story and for all your comments. However, due to me taking a vacation to Torquay this month, the current burnout and the fact that our chapter backlog is currently dwindling, my cowriters and I will be postponing the next chapter of Owlette and the Catuntil May 24th, after which the two-week schedule shall resume. Thank you all for your patience and understanding.