A/N: Thanks again for all of the reviews! I'm glad you were all pleasantly surprised! ;)
Once again, this chapter probably needs a warning. I don't think anything is too graphic, and this is the most detailed it will get as far as describing abuse. The chapters following this one will begin to deal with all of the aftermaths of the abuse, though.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, these character, or the song lyrics.
Song for chapter: We Are Broken by Paramore
Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence?
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
Cause we just wanna be whole
Esme POV
The house was quiet as I finished cleaning off the counters in the kitchen. I knew I would be messing them up again in just a couple of hours to start preparing dinner, but I needed something to fill my time. I glanced at the clock on the wall and smiled when I saw that it was almost time for Carlisle to be home.
Right on time, I heard the garage door open and the Mercedes pull in to its assigned spot. I made my way to the door to wait, and soon found myself enveloped in Carlisle's arms. I closed my eyes and smiled at the feeling of utter contentment as I rememorized his scent as well as the feeling of his arms around me. After a few moments, I pulled back but didn't open my eyes as his lips met mine. Our mouths moved together, perfectly in synch, and it felt as though Carlisle had never even been gone.
When we did finally separate and I opened my eyes, I was met by my favorite gray ones as he smiled down at me. I noticed there was something different about his eyes. They still held the joy that showed everyday when he saw me, but behind the joy was something that resembled sadness. There was also another emotion, but I wasn't sure what it was. As I studied him, he stayed motionless, letting me continue.
"What are you doing, sweetheart?" he finally asked in a whisper, as if he thought that talking any louder would break my concentration.
"Just looking at your eyes," I answered with a shrug. He chuckled lightly and placed a light kiss on the tip of my nose.
Since our eye contact had been broken, I intertwined my fingers with his and headed into the family room to sit down together. Once we were seated, I curled up beside him, enjoying the peace and quiet.
"Where's Emmett?" Carlisle asked curiously after we had been sitting for a couple of minutes.
"I know…the quiet is weird, isn't it?" I said with a smile. "Carmen took Emmett with her to go grocery shopping. They'll be back soon. Now, what do you want to tell me?"
I felt him chuckle once more and kiss the top of my head. "What makes you think I have something to tell you?" he asked, and I could tell he was teasing.
"Don't forget that we're two halves of the same whole," I teased right back. "I notice these things."
"That you do, sweetheart. That you do." Carlisle sighed and held me tighter against him. I sat silently, gently running my finger tips along his arm that was around me. I wasn't sure if something had happened at work, but I was ready to listen whenever he was ready to talk.
"So I had an interesting afternoon with Peter," he began, and I settle more against him, ready to pay close attention. "He has two patients right now that are really tearing him up."
I nodded in understanding. No doctor's job was easy when dealing with ailing patients, but I felt that pediatricians had the toughest job of them all. Sick children always pulled on heartstrings, and seeing them hurting was almost unbearable.
"Two year old twins- a boy and a girl," he continued softly. "Their single mother was shot and killed in their home."
"Those poor babies," I gasped. "What happened?"
"They were kidnapped. Held for a little over two days in an abandoned house where they were both abused physically, and the little girl sexually as well."
By this time, tears were rolling down my face as I held my hand over my mouth to hold in the sobs. I couldn't believe the horror story Carlisle was telling me.
The abuse I had suffered had been bad enough, but these were helpless children. I had no idea how a man could turn into such a monster and commit such heinous crimes.
Carlisle reached over and wiped some of my tears away. "I'm not telling you this to upset you sweetheart," he whispered. "I usually try not to bring work home, but I think this could be very important to us."
"These children have no other family that the police can find. They're so scared and alone right now, and they'll be going into foster care as soon as they are released from the hospital."
I sat up immediately at his words and turned my body so I could fully face him. "Foster care?" I whispered.
"Yes," he answered with a sad smile. "Peter's trying to keep them as long as possible, but they will be discharged soon."
I shook my head emphatically. These children most definitely did not need to go into foster care. After the trauma they both suffered through, they were going to need so much love and support. More than likely, it would be hard to find a home to place them in where they could stay together, and I had a feeling they would need each other.
"This is why I wanted to talk to you, Esme. God has a plan for everything and everyone, right?"
My eyes widened upon realizing what Carlisle was saying. "You mean…" I began slowly, "maybe we could bring the children home with us?"
Carlisle nodded and placed his hand back in mine. "I don't think it will be easy, but I just have this feeling that it's meant to be. I felt such a connection with them today. Jasper held on to me like he never wanted to let go, and I can't say that I didn't feel the same way."
"Jasper? Is that the little boy's name?" I asked with a happier smile.
"Yes, his name is Jasper." Carlisle also had a large happy smile on his face, and I could see how strongly his feelings were. "The little girl's name is Rosalie, and they are both absolutely beautiful."
"When can I see them?" I asked, jumping up from the couch. "Can we go today? Maybe I could take them something? Toys or blankets or anything? What do you think they would like?"
Carlisle also stood up and laughed as he placed his arms around me, effectively calming me down. "I'm so happy you feel the same way as I do," he said as he kissed me. "And yes, we can go today, and I'm sure anything you want to take will be fine. How about we have an early dinner and then see if Carmen will watch Emmett for the night? We could possibly decide to stay at the hospital."
I immediately agreed with Carlisle's suggestion, and I could barely contain my excitement as I started preparing dinner. When Carmen brought Emmett back, Carlisle explained a little bit of what was going on to her, and she gladly agreed to keep Emmett for the night. It seemed like Emmett could tell that something was going on, but we didn't say anything to him in case the situation didn't work out.
I didn't want to think about it not working. I hadn't even met the children yet, but I already felt a need to take care of them. I prayed that everything go the way God wanted it to, but selfishly, I wanted the children to come home with us. It was going to take a lot of time and allies, but if it was meant to happen, then it would.
After we finished dinner, Carlisle cleaned the kitchen for me while I packed a bag for Emmett. Even though he didn't know exactly what was going on, he was still excited to spend the night with Nana and Pops. When Emmett's bag was all ready, I packed a couple of bags for Carlisle and myself. I wasn't really sure what to take since Carlisle wasn't positive that we were staying at the hospital, but I knew it was better to be prepared for anything.
I decided to forego toys and gathered some books for the children instead. I knew those would be better from experience with Emmett. Whenever he didn't feel well, he didn't like to play a lot, but he did enjoy listening to me read books. I also gathered two fleece blankets. They were much softer and warmer than anything offered at the hospital, and I hoped Rosalie and Jasper would like them.
It felt almost strange to think their names. Somehow, I had already managed to provide a space in my heart for them. I hadn't even met them yet, but at this point, I knew I would be devastated if anything else happened to them. I was also positive that I wanted them to be mine.
After I had everything ready to go, Carlisle and I changed into more comfortable clothing before loading up the car. We made the short trip to drop Emmett off with Carmen and Eleazar and then headed to the hospital.
I rode with my eyes closed, concentrating on getting my emotions under control. I was incredibly excited, but also just as nervous. Part of my anxiety was about actually seeing them. I knew what bruises from abuse looked like after seeing them on my own body many times. I didn't want to imagine them on a perfect little face or body. I was also worried that they wouldn't like me, but I tried to convince myself that I was being irrational.
"We're here," Carlisle announced softly. I finally opened my eyes to see that we were, in fact, in his space in the parking lot.
"Are you ready?" His face looked very concerned, so I gave him a large, genuine smile as I nodded.
I humored Carlisle and waited for him to go around and open my door for me. Even after almost two years, it still made my heart skip a beat whenever he did things to make me feel special.
After retrieving the bags from the backseat of the car, we entered the building, walking hand-in-hand towards Carlisle's office. Carlisle unlocked the door, and we left our bags on his desk because it would be easier for him to come back and get it later than for us to carry it around.
Carlisle locked the door back, and I thought we were going straight to the elevators. Instead, Carlisle headed down another hallway of offices and stopped in front of a door with Peter's name on it.
"I'm not sure if he'll be in here, but it wouldn't hurt to check," Carlisle explained as he knocked on the door.
When we heard two voices call for us to enter, we realized that Peter was in his office along with Charlotte. Carlisle opened the door, and we walked into the room to find Peter sitting at his desk, looking over some papers. Charlotte was having a snack and lounging on a leather sofa that was similar to the one Carlisle had in his office. When she saw me, a large smile appeared on her face, and she patted the space beside her in invitation for me to sit down. I crossed the room and sat where she requested before running my hand over her swollen stomach as a greeting to the baby.
Peter glanced up from his papers and smirked as Carlisle sat down in an empty chair. "Well, I'm surprised to see you back so quickly."
"You shouldn't be," Carlisle chuckled. "I told you I would be back in a couple of hours. I knew Esme wouldn't be able to stay away."
He turned to me and winked, and I simply shrugged my shoulders. He was right, of course, and even at the moment, I was growing impatient.
"Oh, I think Jasper was looking for you earlier, Carlisle," Charlotte said as she maneuvered her way to a standing position. "You should probably head up there soon. I don't think he's very happy that you were gone."
I looked over and saw Carlisle's radiant smile, and I knew he was ecstatic with the thought that Jasper missed him.
"Come on, Esme," Charlotte said with a smile, taking my hand. "I can tell you're ready to head up there. I can take you to Rosalie while they go see Jasper. She'll probably be waking up soon."
I stood up quickly, making sure I still had the bag for the children, and followed Charlotte out into the hallway. I could hear Carlisle and Peter laughing at my eagerness, but I didn't care. They could chuckle all they wanted as long as I got a chance to meet the children I longed to love.
We walked to the elevators and rode up to the pediatric floor. I was almost shaking in excitement when Charlotte led me down the hallway and stopped in front of a door that was half-way open. She turned to smile at me and then placed her finger over her lips, motioning for me to be quiet. I nodded and followed her into the room.
The blinds on the windows were closed, blocking the last light of the day, and the artificial lights in the room were dim, but the lack of light didn't prevent me from seeing the still little body sleeping peacefully in the crib, oblivious to the beeping of monitors and machines around her.
As I walked closer, I could see that Carlisle's adjective, "beautiful," almost wasn't enough to describe her. I stood in place by the side of the crib and just stared down at her. Rosalie truly looked like an angel with her blonde curls and button nose. Her cheeks were missing a healthy rosy color, and instead were pale beneath bruises that were slowly fading from purple to yellow. My hand began reaching out without thinking, my mind clearly wanting to do something to comfort the precious, broken baby in front of me. I stopped it midair, not knowing if I wanted to risk waking her up from her peaceful sleep.
"Go ahead," Charlotte whispered, nudging shoulder with hers. "You can touch her."
My hand continued its journey down to Rosalie's hand. I gently stroked the back of it with my thumb which made her twitch and grip two of my fingers. I held my breath for a moment, waiting to see if she would wake up. After waiting a few seconds, my thumb resumed its movement, but she didn't stir again.
"I'm going to go ahead and change her diaper while she's still asleep," Charlotte informed me.
I nodded, but continued to study Rosalie as Charlotte gathered the needed supplies. The sweet girl appeared to be a little too thin, but I knew that was something that could be resolved after some good meals.
Rosalie was mostly covered up with a blanket, but when Charlotte pushed it aside, I could see more of the bruises. Her arms and legs had a few scattered around, but even though they still made me hurt for her, they weren't nearly as bad as they could have been if the kidnapping had lasted longer.
What tore me up inside the most were the bruises on her face. I kissed my fingertips and gently placed them against her cheek where she had clearly been slapped. Tears filled my eyes as she turned her head toward my hand, her warm breaths hitting my palm. I couldn't imagine ever raising a hand to hit Emmett, and I didn't even want to know what possessed a monster to commit such horrible acts.
While my hand was still against her face, Rosalie winced in her sleep, and I looked over at Charlotte, but quickly turned back. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see any more damage that had been done, especially since it clearly caused her pain during something as routine as a diaper change.
"How bad is it?" I whispered to Charlotte, not knowing if I really wanted to know the answer.
"Bad enough," she answered in a tight voice. I knew it couldn't be easy for her to deal with witnessing the abuse. Anyone in their right mind would think the abuse was horrible, but being a mother brought everything to a whole new level.
After Charlotte had the new diaper in place, she threw away all of the used items as well as the gloves she was wearing before walking back over to the crib.
"I guess it could be worse," she began again in a whisper. "As far as anyone can tell, there wasn't any sort of penetration. She does have a few cuts with stitches, but they'll dissolve in a few days. There's also some bruising, but not as bad as on the rest of her body. The emotional trauma is what I'm worried about. It will be a miracle if she recovers from this without any lasting problems."
I nodded in agreement as tears of anger and heartache fell from my eyes. She didn't deserve any of what she had to deal with, but I had a feeling she would get better. It would take time, but I didn't believe that God let anything happen without it bringing some kind of glory to Him. Rosalie's story, as well as Jasper's, would have a happy ending.
"Can I hold her?" I asked hopefully, not being able to resist any longer.
"Of course you can!" Charlotte said with a laugh. I could tell her mood was already back to being positive, so I tried to get my own emotions under control.
Charlotte unhooked Rosalie from everything except the IV, and I gently lifted her into my arms. Charlotte then moved the rocking chair that was in the room closer, and I carefully moved to sit down.
"Try to cradle her, if you can," Charlotte instructed. "It's too uncomfortable for her to sit on her bottom right now."
I did as she said and cradled Rosalie in my arms. Her little head fit perfectly in the crook of my arm, and her body seemed to turn itself automatically toward me. I wrapped one of the soft blankets around her, holding her close as I rocked slowly.
Charlotte sat down in a chair beside me, and we remained quiet as to not disturb Rosalie's sleep. The room was silent except for the squeak of the rocking chair and Rosalie's soft breathing. I gently brushed some of the hair from her face, and smiled as I recognized how much I cared for the angel in my arms.
"I'm glad she has someone to hold her now," Charlotte said softly, breaking the silence.
I looked over at her, and she also had a smile on her face as she watched us. "Did she not have anyone to hold her before?" I asked.
"No. It's a little difficult for both us to be comfortable when I hold her," she said, gesturing toward her rounded stomach. I chuckled softly, but nodded in agreement; I could see how that would be a challenge.
"None of the other nurses stay in here longer than they have to, and Peter can't hold her, so that doesn't leave anyone except you."
"Why can't Peter hold her?" I interrupted, confusion clearly written on my face.
"Carlisle didn't tell you?" she asked. I shook my head, and her smile turned sad. "She won't allow any men near her. The only one she'll allow in the room is Peter, but he's not allowed to touch her."
Tears returned to my eyes as I realized just a small portion of the emotional effects she would be left to deal with. "Poor baby," I said sadly and leaned down to kiss her head.
As I continued rocking, Rosalie's breathing began to change, slowly speeding up. I slowed the chair's pace to allow her to wake up on her own as she stirred and stretched in my lap. When her eyes did open, I could tell that she knew she was in a strange place. I caught a quick glimpse of her bright blue irises before her scared eyes began darting around the room. She started to try to slide off of my lap and whimpered when I pulled her back to me.
"Shh…you're okay, sweetheart," I said as I tried to cradle her in my arms again. When she heard my voice, she stilled and immediately turned her head toward me. I smiled lovingly at her, and even though she still seemed scared, she also seemed a little relieved.
"You're safe, baby. No one will hurt you here." As I continued to coo reassurances to her, she began to calm in my arms until she was completely relaxed. She cuddled close to me and studied my face in a way that looked to be more about curiosity than fear.
I brought my hand up to remove the hair that had fallen into her face during her mini-struggle, and I was happy to see that she didn't flinch away from me. One of her hands was resting on my chest, and I gently brought it up to kiss her palm, just like I always did to Emmett. When I placed her hand where she had had it, she looked a bit confused at my actions, but I thought I could see the edges of her lips curl up in a small smile. It was hard to tell with her pacifier blocking the view of her mouth, but she was still very relaxed even if she hadn't really smiled.
I looked over at Charlotte and she was smiling as she wiped tears from her eyes.
"Don't mind me," she said, chuckling slightly. "I did the same thing when I was in the room with Carlisle and Jasper. Your sweetness and my hormones just don't mix."
Rosalie's head perked up when she heard Charlotte's voice, so I adjusted her so she was sitting up more while still in a comfortable position.
"Hi, Rosalie," Charlotte said cheerfully after all of her tears were wiped away. "Do you remember me?"
Rosalie's arm wrapped around my arm that was around her, holding on tightly, but she did nod in answer to the question.
"Well, this is my friend, Esme," Charlotte said, pointing to me. "Do you want to stay with her while I get you something to drink?"
Rosalie's only response was snuggle closer to me, and I held her just a little tighter to add to her feeling of security.
"Okay, okay. I understand," Charlotte laughed. "You can stay with her for as long as you want. Now, what can I get you to drink? Milk, water, or juice?"
I looked down, and she seemed to be thinking it over as Charlotte and I waited patiently for her response.
"Juice," she finally mumbled in a whisper so low that I almost didn't hear her.
"You want juice?" I asked in order to clarify, and she nodded.
"Alright, sweet Rose. Juice is coming right up," Charlotte said as she stood up and left the room.
I started rocking again and humming a soft tune while I enjoyed the feeling of having a little one in my arms. It had been a while since Emmett had just let me rock him, and I had learned to never take those times for granted. Rosalie contented sigh seemed to show that she was enjoying it as well.
"Hey, pretty girl," I said softly. She looked up at me, and I finally had a chance to see the depth of her wide, blue eyes. Her eyes had definitely seen too much, but they were still so crystal clear and beautiful.
"Are you hurting anywhere?" I asked her even though I knew she probably wouldn't be able to tell me. I just hated the thoughts of her being in pain, and I wanted to make it my mission that she never experienced any that was unnecessary.
She shook her head, and I decided to believe her. She was still very calm as she lay across my lap, and it didn't seem like she would be so comfortable if she was hurting.
Charlotte returned a few minutes later holding a small juice cup with a straw sticking out of the top.
"We should probably get some sippy cups for them soon, but this will have to do for now," she said as she handed me the small plastic cup.
I moved my arm to situate Rosalie in a more upright position so it would be easier for her to drink without getting choked. She moved with me, but I tried to not let her move very much since I didn't want to risk causing any discomfort. After we were both settled again, I brought the straw close to her lips, and she took her pacifier out and started drinking.
Charlotte and I both chuckled as she drank because she only stopped to breathe when she absolutely had to. She was obviously very thirsty after sleeping for so long, and even though the IV was keeping her hydrated, the cold liquid probably felt very soothing in her mouth.
After she finished the juice, Charlotte went to get her another one which she quickly drank as well. We praised her many times for drinking so well. Eating and drinking well would be very important to her recovery, and even though she was turning down food at the moment, we weren't too worried. Food could wait until the morning, especially since it was getting late.
Rosalie turned down a third juice cup, and her eyes were starting to droop. As she started to fall asleep, Charlotte assured me that she couldn't get too much sleep. Her body still had some repairing to do, and the perfect time was during sleep.
"Do you want to lay down in bed, baby?" I asked quietly as her eyes stayed closed longer and longer when she blinked.
As soon as I said that, her eyes shot open and she shook her head emphatically.
"No! Hold me," she whimpered while turning toward me and gripping my shirt tightly in her fist.
"Okay, baby, okay. I'll hold you, don't worry. You can sleep now." I rubbed her back as I soothed her, and after a few minutes, she finally relaxed enough to let sleep claim her.
Charlotte quietly left the room to go find Peter since it was almost time for both of them to go home. I went back to enjoying the silence, closing my eyes and leaning back against the rocking chair.
After a few minutes, I heard my name whispered. I opened my eyes and smiled when I saw Carlisle standing in the doorway. He was holding a little boy, and I knew from the moment I saw him that he couldn't be anyone other than Jasper.
Once Carlisle had my attention, he walked into the room, closing the door behind him. Jasper was still awake, but he looked very close to falling asleep as he rested his head against Carlisle's shoulder.
"Do you want to sit with them, buddy?" Carlisle asked Jasper.
"Yeah, you can come cuddle with us," I encouraged in a gentle voice.
Jasper didn't waste much time thinking about his decision as he reached for me, and Carlisle sat him down in my lap. He snuggled close to me and I kissed the top of his head. His contented sigh was so much like his sister's, and I knew right away that my feelings were exactly the same for him.
"So what did you guys do this evening?" I asked.
"We went to the playroom," Carlisle said excitedly.
"Oh wow! Did you have a good time?" Jasper looked up at me and nodded before yawning, so I decided that was the best answer I was going to get for the night.
As Jasper let his head lean against me, Carlisle pulled the other blanket out of the bag and wrapped it around him. I felt like I was in heaven as I rocked the two precious angels in my arms. Only a few minutes later, Jasper joined Rosalie in peaceful.
I looked over at Carlisle, and he pulled his chair over until he was as close to me as he could get. I was sure my smile matched his which almost stretched from ear to ear.
"Carlisle, I love them," I whispered vehemently. "They can't go anywhere else. I want them. I don't care that I've only know Rosalie for a few hours and Jasper for a few minutes. This just feels so right."
"I'm not arguing with you, sweetheart," Carlisle chuckled. "I want them, too."
"Even if Rosalie doesn't want to have anything to do with you?" I asked hesitantly.
He nodded. "That's one of the main reasons. It can't be guaranteed that another family would be patient with her and allow her the time she needs to recover. I'm not saying that it won't be difficult, but I really don't mind giving her the distance if it will help her."
"Well I think Jasper will help your case some," I said with a smile. I looked down to see that Jasper and Rosalie were holding hands as the slept, and it was obvious that they had a close bond. "If Rosalie sees that Jasper likes you and that you won't ever do anything to hurt him, it could help you gain her trust."
Carlisle agreed with me, and after that we didn't need any more words. I knew Carlisle would be exactly what Rosalie- and Jasper- needed, which was a father. I had no idea if they had ever had that role filled in their lives before, but Carlisle was an excellent choice to fill it. The only thing left to do was wait until we knew more specifics about the situation to see how everything would turn out.
The night was almost perfect, but it was missing one thing- Emmett's presence. Even though we weren't going to say anything to him yet, Carlisle thought it would be okay if Emmett came to play with them for a little while the next day. The hospital had a strict visitor policy for children, but Carlisle tossed the idea out there that we could use his office since no one would be monitoring it. I thought it sounded like a good plan, and I was excited about Emmett having the possibility to meet Jasper and Rosalie.
Peter and Charlotte returned as they were about to leave to tell us goodnight. Charlotte took their vitals one last time for the night, and she told us that the other nurses had been instructed not to bother us until morning unless we needed them. I was incredibly grateful for their support, and I knew we were going to need it even more in the coming days.
After they left, I rocked for Rosalie and Jasper for a few more minutes, but I knew a bed would be more comfortable for them. Carlisle commented that a double room would be best for everyone involved, and I couldn't help but agree. He volunteered to check in the morning to see if one was available, but I hoped they wouldn't be in the hospital much longer. Peter was still waiting for a social worker to be assigned to the case and called in, but he was optimistic that it would happen within the next couple of days.
I hated watching Carlisle and Jasper head back to his room, but I didn't want him to get uncomfortable. Carlisle came back after he put Jasper in bed to help me with Rosalie. I didn't want to tangle up the IV tubing, and with Carlisle's help, I was able to gently place Rosalie in her bed. I let out a sigh of relief when she remained sleeping, and as I stood looking down at her, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist.
I let my body relax against Carlisle as I realized how tired I was. The afternoon and evening had been emotionally draining but worth every minute. Meeting the children had been even more wonderful than I could have imagined. There was still a long road ahead, but I was confident that we were exactly where we were supposed to be.
A/N: So I'm going out of town to Nashville this next weekend for a wedding. Thank you for remaining patient with me even though I'm not able to update when I want to. I'm not sure why everything I have to do has been piled into the month of October, but hopefully life will be less hectic soon.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! :)