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I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or these characters.
Esme POV
True to their word, forty-five minutes after the phone call I was opening the door for Liam and Siobhan. Siobhan pulled me into a hug as soon as she walked in.
"How is he?" she asked softly.
"I think he's okay," I said after she released me from the hug. "He's been laughing some, so I guess that's the best we could hope for."
She smiled and nodded. "We'll figure it out," she assured me.
After Siobhan stepped aside so I could also give Liam a quick hug, they followed me to the family room. Carlisle waved from his spot on the floor, and the kids all seemed to be surprised by our visitors.
"Hi, guys" Siobhan said cheerfully. "Are you having a good Saturday?"
"Mrs. S, you at our house!" Emmett said with wide eyes. "What you doing here?"
Siobhan and Liam chuckled softly at Emmett, but I shook my head. Our son definitely didn't have any issues with speaking his mind.
"Mrs. S came to talk to me and Daddy and Jasper," I explained. "But, I think Mr. Liam came to see you," I quickly added after his face began turning sad. I looked back at Liam, and he was smiling and nodding at my idea.
"It's still light outside if you want to take him out to play," I whispered to Liam. I didn't want Emmett or Rosalie to feel left out, but we really needed to talk with Siobhan without interruptions.
Emmett was excited about his new playmate, but I wasn't sure how to entertain Rose. There was no way she would go with Liam. I could tell she was uncomfortable just having him in the same room as her. Her wide, scared eyes were darting around the room, looking for safety. I was obviously too close to Liam for her to come to me, and it seemed like she was trying to decide if she wanted to go to Carlisle. Her deer-in-the-headlights look was almost comical, but I didn't want her to suffer. I quickly stepped toward her and pulled her into my arms. She relaxed immediately, and I rubbed her back as I held her close.
Siobhan watched us with a smile on her face, clearly happy to see this example of the progress we had made. Even though Rosalie was afraid, she was relatively calm. A few months ago, that wouldn't have been happening. She had been around Liam before so that could have had something to do with it, but it was progress nonetheless.
I needed to go upstairs to get some shoes for Emmett, so Carlisle took over hosting duties. I also needed to talk to Rosalie to see what she would be comfortable doing while we were talking. Our first stop was the bathroom so she could go potty. After she was successfully finished, I grabbed the shoes and sat down with Rosalie on the bed.
"Okay, sweet girl. Me, Daddy, and Jasper have to talk to Mrs. S. Mr. Liam is taking Emmett outside, so what do you want to do?"
Her frown showed me that she wasn't thrilled with the idea of being apart from me right now, but I waited patiently for her answer.
"You can play with your baby dolls in your room," I suggested. "Or color a picture in my study."
She shook her head to both of my options, so I continued thinking.
"Okay," I smiled after thinking of another idea. "How about you watch Cinderella in Mommy and Daddy's room? Would that be okay?"
This time, her answer wasn't an immediate "no." I waited patiently to see if she would approve, and I was reward with a small nod.
"So you want to watch the movie?" I asked just to clarify, and she nodded again.
"With my baby?" she asked softly.
"Of course you can watch with your baby," I chuckled as I gave her a kiss. "You go get your baby out of your room, and I'll go downstairs to get the movie, okay?"
She nodded and hopped out of my lap to run to her room.
I went back downstairs and helped Emmett put his shoes on. Once they were on, he dragged Liam outside as quickly as they could go. I then located the correct DVD and took it and Carlisle's laptop upstairs. Rosalie was waiting in the middle of the bed with her pacifier, blanket, and baby doll. I put the DVD in the computer and set it up so she could see the screen. When everything was working, I went to her room and grabbed the baby monitor. I set that up as well and took the receiver with me in case she needed anything.
"Call me if you need me, okay?" I said right before I left the room. She nodded briefly but was too engrossed in one of her favorite movies to really pay attention.
When I made it back down to the family room, everything was quiet. Carlisle had taken a spot at one end of the couch with Jasper in his lap, and Siobhan was at the other end facing them. I took my spot next to Carlisle and waited for Siobhan to begin.
Her face was calm as she focused on us, and it was a nice contrast to how frantic our day had been. I was already feeling a little better just from having her here. I was truly grateful to have Siobhan in our lives.
"Let's get started, shall we?" she asked with a smile. I reached over to grab Carlisle's hand, and we both nodded.
We started the conversation with a discussion about how our day had gone, keeping things general just to make everyone comfortable. Siobhan already knew everything that had happened with Jasper, but this was better than jumping right into talking to him about it. All of the kids were comfortable around Siobhan at this point, but that didn't mean that it wasn't possible to overwhelm them. Once Jasper was contributing a few words to the conversation, it was time to slowly try to figure out what had been going on in his mind.
"Now it's time to talk about Jasper," Siobhan cheered enthusiastically.
Every week at our usual appointments, we would talk about each child individually. By now, our main focus was how our family functioned together, but it was important to hear anything our little ones had to say no matter the subject. Emmett usually talked up a storm about anything and everything, and Rosalie talked more and more every week. Jasper, however, was shy most of the time and rarely said anything apart from the yes or no answers we coaxed out of him.
Today seemed no different. Once Siobhan shifted the conversation, Jasper looked down shyly and seemed to try to sink into Carlisle's lap. I removed my hand from Carlisle's and placed it on Jasper's arm, rubbing it lightly. I then slipped my hand under his, and he immediately grasped two of my fingers. It was clear that his need for contact hadn't lessened any, but I was hopeful we would be able to solve the mystery with our undivided attention and Siobhan's help.
"Did you have a good day, Jasper?" Siobhan asked. He nodded without making contact. "What did you do today? Did you play with brother and sister?"
"I pay," he whispered, lifting his head slightly before looking down again.
"What did we play, buddy?" Carlisle encouraged softly.
He turned his head to look up at Carlisle. "Pay side?"
Carlisle looked confused for a second, but then recovered and smiled. "That's right buddy. We did play on the slide today."
"That sounds like lots of fun!" Siobhan smiled. "Do you like playing with your toys outside?"
Jasper nodded again, and it didn't seem like we were going to get much more out of him. Normally, it wouldn't have mattered. We always talked at his pace, but today we needed to know what was going on in his head.
"Alright, sweetheart. Let's move on to something else now. Let's talk about Mommy!"
My head turned quickly toward Siobhan, and I looked at her in surprise. This was different, but somehow I could tell she knew exactly what she was doing.
"Mommy, how was your day today?" she asked with a wink.
"It was good," I answered slowly. "Daddy and I always have fun playing with our babies."
"So were you happy today?"
"Very happy," I nodded with a smile. "Well, until…" I trailed off, not knowing whether to continue or not, but Siobhan started nodding enthusiastically. Suddenly, I began to understand where she was going with this.
"I was happy until one of my babies was sad," I continued. "I love my Jasper, and I don't want him to be sad."
Jasper looked at me, and I leaned over to kiss his forehead. "I love you, sweet boy," I whispered before squeezing his hand. He squeezed back as his lips curled into a small smile which made me kiss him again.
I wanted to be able to take all his pain away and make him feel better. His emotional pain was just as bad as the pain his sister had experienced. I knew they were both as strong as any adult based on the fact that they continued to thrive throughout it all.
"Jasper, were you sad today?" Siobhan asked softly. She kept her gaze gently focused on him until he turned and finally made eye contact while nodding slightly. "Yeah? Well can you tell me why you were sad? Was someone mean to you?" This time, he shook his head. "Did you get an owwie?" Another negative.
I didn't know what Siobhan was thinking. Could Jasper tell us what he was feeling? I wasn't so sure, so I glanced over at her, worry clearly written on my face. She simply smiled knowingly and nodded. I looked over at Carlisle, but he was wearing the same expression I was. Apparently we just needed to keep trusting. Siobhan did this every day after all.
"Jasper, were you scared today?"
Jasper immediately gripped my hand tighter, and I could feel him tense in his spot on Carlisle's lap. His other arm wrapped around Carlisle's arm just as tightly as he held my hand, and his eyes were wide and full of fear. We were obviously on to something.
"Bingo," Siobhan whispered and smiled sadly at us before putting her attention back on Jasper.
"Alright, sweetheart. You're completely safe here. Daddy's got you and Mommy's right beside you. Nothing can hurt you."
Siobhan's words did little to calm him, and my worries were increasing by the second. Fear was not something I had factored into the situation.
Carlisle shifted Jasper over so he was partially on my lap as well. I wrapped my arms around him, as did Carlisle, and we effectively created a little bubble. We both whispered soothing phrases to him as we prayed for him to calm.
"Don't be afraid, baby," I whispered. "We won't let anything hurt you."
"You're safe buddy. Everything will be okay." Carlisle's words were also for me as he rubbed my arm with his free hand. I wanted-no, needed--everything to be okay.
I wasn't sure how long we were going to stay in our bubble, but Siobhan remained silent as she gave us time to be together. Eventually, we shifted so that Jasper was in my lap with Carlisle's arm around my shoulder. He held us close to his side, protecting us from anything and everything.
"We can take a break, if you want," Siobhan suggested softly.
I nodded gratefully. "I think that's a good idea." I looked up at Carlisle, and he was also nodding.
"I'll go get us some drinks," Carlisle said as he moved to stand.
"No!" Jasper gasped suddenly, reaching out for Carlisle with one hand as he held my arm tightly with the other. "No leave me, Daddy. Peas no leave!"
My eyes widened at his reaction, and it seemed that Carlisle was also surprised. He quickly knelt down so he was able to make eye-contact with Jasper.
"Oh, buddy. It's okay," he said slowly. "I'm just going to the kitchen. I'll be right back."
"No leave," Jasper said again as he shook his head. His voice was starting to break as he pleaded. "Peas."
My heart was breaking along with sad little voice, and I hugged him to my chest, as if to absorb some of his new pain.
"I'm just going to the kitchen, bud," Carlisle repeated as he reached over to rub his thumbs over Jasper's cheeks, collecting tears that were starting to fall. "How about you come with me?"
"Can you wait just a minute, Carlisle?" Siobhan interrupted.
Carlisle looked over at her and nodded before moving back to sit beside us.
"Jasper," she said gently, waiting until she had his attention. "Are you scared that Mommy and Daddy will leave you?"
His answering whimper was more than enough proof as to what was now bothering him.
"Is that what you're afraid of today, sweetheart? That they'll leave you?"
Jasper quickly turned around in my lap and practically climbed up my chest until his arms were wrapped around my neck. I felt rather than saw his nod as he held on to me tightly, almost to the point of choking me.
His fear was so real that he was trembling, and I hated it. I looked over at Carlisle, and his face looked as pained as I felt. It seemed like everything we tried to do was just making Jasper feel worse. I didn't want to feel discouraged, but I just couldn't see any progress.
I let Jasper cry against me for a few minutes before trying to coax him to move.
"Look at Mommy, baby," I said softly as I gently pushed him back. He sat back slightly, and I was finally able to see his tear-covered face. I wasn't sure if it was possible for my heart to break any more.
"It's okay, baby," I said as I held his face in my hands and gently kissed his tears away. "I want you to listen to Mommy, okay?"
He hiccupped and nodded, so I knew I had his attention. I needed him to understand what I was about to say because these fears we had just discovered were completely unnecessary.
"Baby, Mommy and Daddy aren't going to leave you. You will stay with us forever. You and Rosalie and Emmett will always be with us. And you are safe. I promise nothing will hurt you or take you from us, okay?"
In my peripheral, I could see Siobhan nodding so apparently I was doing something right. I couldn't really promise forever since the future wasn't set in stone. But this was obviously something Jasper needed, and I was willing to give him my words if they would help. Nothing would happen to any of our children if Carlisle and I had anything to do with it.
"Mommy's right, bud," Carlisle said as he began rubbing Jasper back. "We're not going anywhere, and you aren't going anywhere. Everything's okay."
Jasper looked between us and finally began to relax. He shifted down so that he was sitting on my lap again and rested his head against my chest. Our day had been an emotional roller coaster ride which left us all exhausted, even with the multiple naps.
Since Jasper had calmed down, Carlisle was able to slip out of the room to go get drinks from the kitchen. He came back with bottled water for the three adults and some juice for Jasper.
We settled into a comfortable silence as we took our much needed break. Part of me was ready to hear what Siobhan had to say about everything that had happened, but another part of me was too nervous.
Thankfully, Jasper was calm as he cuddled with me and drank his juice. I hummed softly and rocked him back and forth, and his free hand was in my hair, twirling the strands between his fingers. The comfort I offered him seemed to be working in keeping him relaxed which was another blessing. We had reached our tear quota for the day already.
Siobhan cleared her throat, and Carlisle pulled me closer to his side. Whatever she had to say, we were going to work through it together to help our Jasper.
"You can relax," Siobhan said lightly. "I think we're finished with the heavy."
Carlisle and I did just that, and she chuckled at our change in posture.
"I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will be better soon," she continued sympathetically. "We've been waiting for this first step to happen for so long, and I know it's tough. But believe it or not, so much progress was made today."
It was difficult to believe her. Jasper seemed to be more upset as the day passed, but Carlisle and I just wanted him to feel better. Maybe worse had to come before better. I just hoped we had already reached the worst.
"Now, what I'm about to tell you is simply my professional opinion. 'Siobhan's professional opinion' is not to be mistaken for the truth, okay?"
Carlisle and I both nodded, and she went on.
"Okay. I think what we're dealing with is a bit more than the abuse. Yes, that's part of it, but I also think there's some abandonment issues underneath. Just put yourself in his shoes. Even if he and Rosalie hadn't been taken, their birth mother essentially left them. How would you feel now?"
I tried to imagine what it had been like for him. Jasper and Rosalie's life had been changed so drastically in one night. They had been with their birth mother, and then the next thing they knew, she was no longer with them. Jasper didn't understand the how's and the why's, and no one could expect him to; no two year old could. And now he was with us. I was fairly confident he knew he was safe and no one would hurt him now. But abandonment? I wasn't sure how we were going to work through that.
"I think I understand," Carlisle spoke up. "He doesn't know that we won't leave him, too. He had a parent before us, and she left. What's stopping us?"
Siobhan nodded. "Exactly. There's PTSD mixed in which doesn't help. His emotions have been repressed for so long, and now they are coming out along with his fear of abandonment. Your assurances to him today probably helped quite a bit, though. You probably haven't addressed this before because you didn't know. Just by promising not to leave, his fears have already been diminished significantly."
"So what do we do now?" I asked. Everything she was saying made sense, but I wasn't sure what we were going to do with this information.
"Be patient," she explained with a shrug. "That's really all you can do. I can almost guarantee that there will be more outbursts like you dealt with today at lunch. It's difficult for a two year old to express his feelings, so there will be frustration. That frustration can be translated as tears or anger. More than likely, he'll be clingy just like today. Be there for him and show him that you aren't leaving. He will see."
"Well, we are good at being patient," Carlisle chuckled as he squeezed my shoulder and kissed my temple, effectively making me feel a little better.
"You get that a lot from me, huh?" she chuckled with him. "It doesn't seem like much, but it is the best advice. Look at Rose. You were patient with her nightmares, and now they are almost gone. That was one manifestation of her PTSD you have worked through. The same will happen for Jasper."
Siobhan's words also relieved some of my worries. Rosalie only had the occasional nightmare now compared to every night when we first brought them home. This gave me incredible hope for Jasper; there was no reason he couldn't make the same progress as his sister.
"What about triggers? Something brought this on." I turned to Carlisle. "Do you have any idea what it was? The day seemed pretty normal, to me anyway."
"I don't know, sweetheart," he said as he shook his head. "Everything was fine this morning."
"You said he was clingy after his nap?" Siobhan asked, and I turned to look at her and nodded. "My guess would be a nightmare. A vivid dream could easily scare him and create the need to be close to you. There will probably be more triggers you'll discover. Deal with them one by one, and you'll all be fine."
Siobhan's professional opinion might not have been the truth, but it was able to lift my spirits. We now had a plan on how to handle everything and hopefully help Jasper to feel better. We were ready to work through any fears and repressed emotions with him for as long as it took.
Jasper had been still and quiet throughout our discussion, but he wasn't asleep like I had suspected he would be. His hand remained in my hair, holding it tightly. It wasn't hurting me, and I wasn't about to take away something that was making him feel safe. We had been sitting in one place for quite a while though, and I was ready for a change of scenery. It was almost time for dinner anyway.
"I think I'm going to take Jasper upstairs and freshen up," I said as I slowly moved forward. Jasper tightened his hold on me, but made no protests.
"Alright, sweetheart," Carlisle said as he leaned over to give me a kiss. "I'll go order the pizza, and Siobhan can check on Liam to make sure Emmett hasn't completely worn him out."
After Jasper received a kiss from his daddy, we went our separate ways. My mission upstairs wasn't just to freshen up. Rosalie had been quiet while we had been talking, and while I was incredibly proud of her for staying by herself, it still worried me. There was such as thing as too much quiet and it usually involved some sort of mischief.
Once we made it upstairs, I silently entered our bedroom, only to find that my worries were unnecessary. Rosalie had moved from her previous spot on the bed, but she had only gone as far as to scoot back to lean against the pillows. The computer screen was playing the movie menu, but Rosalie was now occupying herself with her baby doll. I smiled as I watched her rock and talk softly to her little baby, already acting like a mother.
"What's sister doing?" I asked Jasper softly, bouncing him on my hip. I hadn't been quiet enough though, and Rosalie immediately looked over to us and smiled.
"Mommy! Ella goed bye-bye."
"She did? Well, did she marry the prince?"
"Uh huh!" she nodded quickly. "They goed away. All gone."
"I'm sorry the movie's over, baby, but it's almost dinner time. Let's go wash hands, okay?" I tried to add some excitement to my voice since she seemed sad that the movie was over, and it did motivate her. She quickly crawled off the bed and ran over to me, raising her arms for me to hold her.
"I can't hold you right now, sweetheart. You can wash your hands like a big girl. I'll check on you in a minute."
She didn't seem too convinced, but she went into the bathroom anyway. I didn't want to try to balance her with Jasper, even though I could do it easily. Jasper still needed as much attention as possible, and I planned to give him these last few minutes of one-on-one time.
I headed to Emmett and Jasper's room and laid him on the bed before quickly changing his diaper. I blew a few raspberries on his belly when I was finished, both for his benefit and mine. I needed to hear his laugh once more after the latest round of tears.
After a few shared giggles, we joined Rosalie. She had successfully washed and dried her hands without causing a huge mess which was nearly a miracle in my eyes. I sent her downstairs to find Emmett before something tempted her. I had already cleaned up one water mess, and the thoughts of cleaning another one weren't very appealing.
I sat Jasper on the counter beside the sink and grabbed a wash cloth. After dampening it with some warm water, I gently wiped his face. The dried tears soon disappeared, but I continued running the cloth over his face to soothe his tired eyes and pink nose.
Once I was finished, I held his little face in my hands and placed a kiss on his forehead.
"I love you, baby," I said softly as I smiled at him.
"Mommy, love you," he whispered.
I gasped as my smile grew and my eyes filled with tears, yet again. This time, they were happy tears.
Emmett told me that he loved me all the time, but I had yet to hear it from Rosalie or Jasper until now. I knew they loved me, so I didn't need the words. But there was still something amazing about hearing it. Jasper wasn't coached to say the words, so this was genuine. And completely beautiful.
"Oh, Jasper. I love you. I love you. I love you." Each phrase was punctuated with a kiss on a different part of his face, and he was soon giggling all over again. It was nice to finally have some happy moments again after our heartbreaking afternoon.
His giggling soon ended, but his smile didn't fade which meant mine didn't either. I quickly washed my hands and helped him wash his before pulling him into my arms again and going down to join everyone else.
We found everyone sitting around the table, waiting for the pizza to arrive. Liam appeared to have survived his play time with Emmett, although he did look very tired. However, Emmett definitely wasn't showing that he was tired and was ready to share every detail of their time outside.
When the pizza did arrive, we enjoyed a laid-back dinner together. It had been a while since anyone had been over to our house for dinner, and the adult conversation was nice, even with the chatter from little voices. Our topics were varied, always staying light-hearted which seemed to benefit everyone's mood. Jasper ate normally while sitting in Carlisle's lap, and Rosalie didn't have any issues with eating or talking even though Liam was there.
Liam and Siobhan eventually needed to return home, and they both reminded us of their support before leaving. We still had our usually appointment with Siobhan in the coming week, so I wasn't too worried, especially since Carlisle and I were ready and willing to take the advice she had given us. We also weren't too afraid to ask for help if we needed it.
After they left, it wasn't quite bath time, but I felt we all needed to go to bed early. Carlisle volunteered to clean up the house while I cleaned up the kids, and I gladly took him up on his offer.
I used some soothing baby wash in hopes that it would make the kids tired, but it wasn't really needed. Instead of the usually warnings about splashing, I had to remind them to keep their eyes open and not fall asleep in the tub. The bath was faster than most, and it was also easier to get lotion and pajamas on them so we could go back downstairs for Carlisle to read the book of the night.
Carlisle barely made it through a short book before we had two sleeping and one desperately fighting it. Jasper was just as exhausted as Emmett and Rosalie, but he wouldn't close his eyes for more than a second or two. He also wouldn't leave my arms, but I had a good idea as to why. My guess was that he was afraid we wouldn't be there when he woke up.
I didn't mind holding him, but he really needed to sleep. I decided to fix him some milk and take him upstairs to rock in our bedroom, hoping that something would lull him to sleep. While I went to the kitchen, Carlisle carried Rosalie and Emmett upstairs and tucked them into their beds.
As soon as I was upstairs, I sat in the glider rocker and covered Jasper with a blanket. I rocked slowly, humming and rubbing his back as he drank his milk. We didn't usually give drinks to the kids at bedtime, but this was a unique situation. I had thought that Jasper would be the first one asleep, but he continued to fight it even as we rocked.
Carlisle switched places with me so I could change, and once I was finished, I crawled into bed to watch them. Carlisle had his eyes closed as they slowly moved, and he seemed very content with Jasper lying against him. Seeing a daddy loving his son was beautiful in my eyes, and the scene in front of me captured that perfectly.
I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I felt the bed shift and my eyes popped open.
"Sorry," Carlisle whispered. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart."
I turned to face him and found Jasper in between us. He was sleeping, but he was tucked into Carlisle's side. It was easy to see that he had no intention of being far away from us tonight.
Carlisle turned the lamp off and then scooted closer to me, somehow managing to not wake Jasper.
"Are you worried about this?" I asked softly.
"Worried about what?"
"This just feels like a step back," I shrugged. "Jasper hasn't ever had to sleep in our bed the whole night."
"I know, sweetheart," he sighed. "But I'm not too worried about it. Isn't it always 'two steps forward and one step back'? The way I see it, we haven't had any steps back after all the progress we've made…until now. And this is small. We'll figure it out."
"Thank you," I said with a smile, hoping he could see it.
"You're very welcome, and I hope that made sense. I just don't think we should be discouraged yet. This will get better soon."
I knew Carlisle was right, but I wasn't sure exactly when "soon" would be.
The next few days were challenging, to say the least. It was impossible to predict what Jasper's mood would be. We saw happy, sad, frustrated, angry, and so many combinations. It was difficult to see him going through so much and not really being able to make everything better for him.
We continued to be patient, which was working. Each day was a little better and calmer than the previous one. Jasper continued to sleep with us and not want to be away from us. Carlisle still had to go to work which didn't go so well with Jasper. I didn't really understand because it wasn't a new occurrence, but it was upsetting for him. But every afternoon when Carlisle came home, the relief was palpable, and he received the best welcome home hugs from Jasper.
Rosalie and Emmett could tell that things were different, but we tried to keep everything normal for them. They knew Jasper was sad, and they did their best to cheer him up. Their efforts caused many giggles and weren't exactly wasted. The two of them definitely made me feel better.
There were some good changes though. Jasper continued to speak more and more every day. Carlisle and I, along with Siobhan, believed he had learned that we would listen to him when he spoke like we had during his outbursts. If he told us what he needed or what was wrong, we could help him faster. And besides that, his little voice was so very sweet. His speech was not delayed which proved that nothing had been wrong; he had been choosing to remain quiet until he was comfortable speaking, and the time had finally come.
The "I love you's" didn't stop either. Carlisle also teared up the first time Jasper told him that he loved him. It was so rewarding to know that we were doing something right.
As summer continued to fade, our wedding anniversary quickly approached. It was hard to believe that Carlisle and I had already been married for two years: two of the best years of my life. So much had changed since our last anniversary, but all the changes were definitely for the better.
I knew Carlisle was planning something special for us like he always did, but I was hesitant to leave. By now, the kids were used to spending the night with Nana and Pops, and they always enjoyed it. But we hadn't left them since Jasper started clinging to us again, and I didn't know how he would react.
Even though I was hesitant, Carlisle and I needed the alone time. Alone time had become almost nonexistent for us since Jasper had been spending all night in our bed. Many showers had been spent together, but even those were rushed to make sure no one woke up before we were finished. I knew Carlisle's plan would be perfect and offer us plenty of time to spend together without being rushed or having to worry about waking anyone up.
We talked with Siobhan, and she didn't think there would be any serious problems if we were gone for a night. Her assurances made me feel a little better, but nothing could stop the worry. Jasper's biggest fear was us leaving him, and I didn't want him to think that his fear was coming true.
Carmen and Eleazar were completely ready to have the kids for the night. I had no doubt that they were planning fun things to occupy them so they wouldn't have a chance to miss us. Their support was wonderful to have, and I knew we couldn't pull it off without them.
Our anniversary was on a Tuesday, but we decided to wait until Friday night to celebrate. There was no need for Carlisle to take off from work when we had plenty of time during the weekend. Of course, Carlisle didn't let the actual day pass without flowers and breakfast. He was such a thoughtful and romantic man, and I loved him for it.
We spent the week getting the kids used to the idea of us leaving and them staying at Nana's house. Emmett was excited, as was Rosalie, but Jasper didn't say much. What he did say was positive, so I took it as a good sign. The kids all helped me pack their bags. It took longer than it would have if I had been doing it myself, but they had fun and it made sure that they had everything they wanted and would help them be more comfortable.
By the time 3 o'clock on Friday, I had the bags by the door and the kids dressed to leave. Carmen and Eleazar were coming to pick them up a little early so we would have time to get ready for dinner, but Carlisle wanted some time with them when he came home from work.
I gathered the kids and went to wait by the kitchen door for Carlisle like we always did. Rosalie was in her usual position on my hip, and the boys were jumping around me. It made me smile to see how excited they were to have their daddy home.
"Who are we waiting for?" I asked as a distraction.
"We waitin for Daddy!" Emmett cheered without ending his jumping.
"Yeah. My daddy come home," Jasper added.
"Your daddy is coming home, huh? Did you miss him?"
"Yeah!" they both answered, still not stopping. My distraction wasn't working very well so I turned my attention to my girl who was a bit calmer.
"What about you, sugar? Who are you waiting for?"
"Daddy," she answered, almost shyly.
"Are you gonna give daddy high fives today?" Since my birthday, she hadn't had a problem with giving Carlisle high fives, and her chosen time to give them was when he came home. This always made his day, and it was so wonderful to see how far she had come. It was so easy to forget how scared she was of him before we left the hospital because we saw her interact with him on a daily basis. Touch was still an issue, but we were confident that it wouldn't be an issue for much longer.
Before Rosalie could answer, Carlisle's car pulled into the garage, and the excitement increased again.
"Daddy's here! Daddy's here!" Emmett squealed as he ran to the door, Jasper following right behind him.
"Wait for daddy," I said over the squealing. They listened, but it didn't stop them from attaching themselves to Carlisle's legs as soon as he opened the door.
"Hey guys," he chuckled as he managed to walk into the room and close the door.
They giggled happily as he took exaggerated steps that made them hold on tightly.
"Hi, sweetheart," he said with a smile as he came over to me. He kissed my lips lightly, and I let Rosalie slide down my side until she was standing so I could give him a hug.
"We missed you," I said softly, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest.
"Well I definitely missed you too." He wrapped his arms around me and held me close as he placed kisses on the top of my head.
I held on as long as possible before pulling back. Carlisle had to kiss my lips once more before he let me go with a wink and looked down to the little bodies attached to him.
"Okay, guys. Meet me in the family room. I'll be there in a minute."
Emmett and Jasper immediately let go and ran off to the family room.
With the kitchen quiet, Carlisle knelt down to speak to Rosalie. She was hiding behind my legs, bUt I moved over so she couldn't stay hidden.
"There's my sweet girl," Carlisle said softly. "Did you have a good day today?"
She nodded which made him smile wider.
"You did? Well that's wonderful, sweetheart." He extended his hand, palm up, and waited for her to make the next move. It only took a few seconds for her to reach out and meet his hand with hers. Carlisle closed his eyes as if he was savoring the moment, and I knew he really was. He loved each and every moment he was able to spend with his daughter, no matter how short.
"Thank you, baby," he said once she moved her hand. "I love you so much."
Rosalie smiled before dipping her head shyly and coming back to me so I could pick her up.
After Carlisle grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, he headed to the family room, and I sent Rosalie to join them. I knew Carlisle would appreciate being able to spend time with all three of the kids. Plus, he always wanted to give me some down time once he was home, and today I was going to use it to make sure everything was ready for our special night together.
I wasn't sure where we were going, but I did know we weren't staying at home. Since Carlisle was the planner, there was no doubt in my mind that it would be romantic and perfect for us. I already had a dress picked out for dinner, but I needed to pack a bag for us for the night. Carlisle's things were easy to pack, and I finished his in no time. My things were another story, but there were a few items I couldn't forget.
Carlisle and I had decided not to give big gifts to each other this year. Honestly, we didn't need anything, and we both knew how much we were loved without material things. Carlisle did have plans to take me shopping for something special, and I bought him a few things for his office that would also be useful when he opened a practice with Peter.
I had also ordered something special to wear after dinner. Technically it was for me, but I knew Carlisle would be the one who really enjoyed it. This lingerie was very different from anything I had ever worn before, and I was excited and slightly nervous. I was going to be out of my comfort zone, but Carlisle loved everything I wore. That alone gave me plenty of courage to place the new items in my bag.
Once the special gift was safely packed, I was able to continue. A few minutes later, all the packing was finished. The only thing left to do was wait for Carmen and Eleazar.
I went down to the family room and sat on the couch. Carlisle was "wrestling" with Emmett and Jasper, and it was adorable. They would crawl on top of him and sit on his chest until he would tickle them and cause them to fall off. Rosalie was standing to the side and cheering them on, but when I sat down, she came over to me.
"Silly boys," she giggled as she climbed into my lap.
"Those boys are silly," I agreed. "What are they doing?"
She shrugged and pursed her lips before smiling. "They payin on Daddy."
I looked down at Carlisle and saw that he was smiling at me. I usually tried to see if I could get Rosalie to talk to him or about him because he loved it. This seemed like a good afternoon for it since she was in a good mood.
"What are they playing?" I asked, and she shook her head.
"I no know. They silly." She started giggling again, so I laughed with her as we watched them roll around.
They continued playing but stopped when there was a knock at the door. Everyone immediately froze until the door opened and we heard Carmen's voice.
"Knock, knock. Where are Nana's babies?"
"We're back here," I called as Carlisle helped the boys up from the floor.
Jasper came over and climbed in my lap with a confused look on his face. "Mommy, Nana here?"
I kissed his forehead and pulled him closer. "Nana came to pick you guys up. You're staying with her and Pops tonight, remember?" He looked up at me, and the confusion faded to turn into a small smile. "You like Nana's house, don't you?"
He nodded quickly. "Uh huh, Mommy. I like Nana house. I seep dere?"
"That's right, baby. You're sleeping at Nana's house tonight. You're gonna be a sweet boy, aren't you?"
He nodded again and giggled when I kisses his nose.
"What bout me?" Rosalie asked.
"And me!" Emmett added. "What me and Rosie doin?"
I looked at Carlisle, and he rolled his eyes with a smirk as he sat down beside me. Apparently telling them about this all week didn't help them to remember.
"You two are going to Nana's house, too," I answered. "And you're going to have lots of fun. Right, Nana?"
"That's right!" Carmen cheered as she knelt down in the doorway. "Now who's going to give me some love?"
Rosalie and Jasper jumped down from my lap and ran over to her along with Emmett. The three of them laughed with Carmen as they showered her with sloppy kisses and big hugs.
"Where's E?" Carlisle asked above the noise.
"He's putting the bags in the car," she explained. "Those were ready to go, weren't they?"
"Yep. All ready," I said. "We were just waiting on you, so you're just in time."
"Alright then," she said as she stood up. "Who's ready to go? Pops and I have lots of fun planned."
She was answered with a chorus of "me's," so Carlisle and I helped them put on their shoes before walking them to the door.
I wasn't looking forward to saying goodbye to them. It was always the hardest part for me, but besides that, I was also worried about Jasper. I needed him to understand that we would see him again tomorrow.
Emmett was first though because he was about to run out the door. Carlisle and I barely managed to give him a hug and kiss and tell him that we loved him before he was running off to find Pops.
Rosalie was next in my arms, and she gave me a big hug and kiss before blowing a kiss to Carlisle. He blew one right back which made her hide her face in my neck. This new stage she was going through melted our hearts constantly. Being bashful around Daddy was definitely a step above being afraid of him, and I hoped it would lead into more and more interaction.
After Rosalie was passed to Carmen, it was time for the goodbye that worried me the most. Jasper didn't seem upset so far, but I wasn't sure what we would do once he wasn't with us.
"Bye, buddy," Carlisle said as he hugged him tightly. "Be a good boy for Nana and Pops, okay?"
"Kay. Where you go?" Jasper voice was slow and timid. He was getting nervous, and I didn't like it at all.
"Mommy and I are staying here, and you're going with Nana and Pops," Carlisle explained. It wasn't the exact truth, but it was close enough.
"We'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I said softly as I pulled him in for my hug.
"You stay wif me?" he asked with a shaky voice, resting his head on my shoulder.
"We're staying here, baby. You're going to have so much fun at Nana's house. I bet Pops will play outside with you. Won't that be fun?"
He nodded against me, but didn't move from our embrace. My heart was breaking for him because I knew he didn't want to leave us, or for us to leave him. I wasn't sure if he fully understood that we would see him again very soon, but any separation was apparently too long for him.
"Well, there's my boy! Pops missed you, buddy."
Our heads jerked up, and we both smiled when we saw that Eleazar had joined us in the house. Jasper also lifted his head, and I could tell that he was excited. Pops was Jasper's new favorite person besides Carlisle and me. It was difficult to remember the time when Jasper had been so afraid of him because now they had such a sweet relationship.
Jasper looked at me, and I nodded in encouragement and kissed him one more time before passing him to Eleazar. He went willingly, and his smile returned as they hugged.
After Carlisle and I told Jasper that we loved him, Eleazar took him outside, effectively distracting him from his previous fear.
"I guess we'll leave you to it," Carmen said as she gave me a hug. "Don't worry about anything. We will be fine."
"Please call us for anything," I pleaded. "And if I forgot to pack anything, you have a key. We should be back sometime around lunch, but if you call, we'll come home early, so-"
"Darling, stop," Carmen interrupted with a chuckled. "We have everything under control, I promise. Now, you two enjoy your night alone. I love you both."
With a smile and a wink, she was gone, and our house was completely quiet. It always felt so strange when all of the children were gone, and I couldn't help but miss them.
Carlisle stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He held me close to him until my brief sadness melted away and all that was left was excitement.
I turned quickly in his arms to face him and put my hands on his chest. "So..."
"So..."
"So what do we do now?"
He chuckled softly. "Well, our children are off having fun with their grandparents, and we're all alone. I have no idea how we could use this time to our advantage."
I smiled coyly at his teasing but decided to play along.
"Are you sure you can't think of anything?"
"Hmm. Well...we could do this." He tilted his head down and pressed his lips to mine, moving them slowly.
And just like that, all other thoughts disappeared. My eyes slowly closed as I shut the world out. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of his lips against mine as they moved in tandem.
I didn't notice that we were moving until my back hit the wall. Carlisle immediately shifted his hands until they were resting between my back and the wall, shielding me from the slight discomfort. My hands made their way to his hair, and I pulled lightly as I tried to mold my body to his. The kiss had started out slow, but the pace had now definitely increased. Our lips continued to move together with our tongues joining in as we became reacquainted with one another.
When we finally pulled away, Carlisle rested his forehead against mine as we caught our breath. I slowly opened my eyes to find Carlisle's already open as he watched me.
"So was that good or do you want to do something else?" he breathed, his tone deep and husky which immediately left me wanting so much more.
"No, that was good. We can do that again if you want," I said with a small smile.
He chuckled and placed a soft, short kiss on my lips. "I'm sure we could do this all afternoon, but I have other things planned."
"What other things, Dr. Cullen?"
"Well, Mrs. Cullen, that's for me to know and for you to find out," he said before stepping back and grabbing my hand. "But I will tell you that we have dinner reservation soon, so let's go get ready."
I giggled as he led me up the stairs quickly. He was smiling brightly, clearly excited about the night he had planned for us.
I was excited, too. Carlisle always knew what to do to make me feel better. I wasn't focused on my worry for the kids anymore because I really did know that they would have a good time. I knew that Carlisle and I were going to have a good time as well, and I couldn't wait for our night together to begin.
A/N: Sorry about the wait, but the updates might continue to be a little slow for the next few weeks. School is really busy right now, but thankfully the semester will be over soon.
The next chapter will be Carlisle and Esme's anniversary fun, and the tone will definitely be a bit…different from this chapter. The teasers should be fun, too. Review and you'll get one! ;)
Also, feel free to follow me on Twitter. I'm there most of the time…especially when I'm procrastinating.