Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews. The number was absolutely astonishing!
My failery will be explained at the bottom, but I hope this extremely long chapter was worth the wait.
MelissaMargaret is my beta, and she is fantastically awesome…even when I send her huge documents.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or these characters.
Carlisle POV
When Eleazar asked me if I would help him and Carmen at the church for a few minutes after lunch, I didn't hesitate to agree. I expected some cleaning needed to be done or maybe even some maintenance, but no. Aunt Carmen's idea of helping for a few minutes involved me being trapped in a room full of toys for four hours.
Our church was once again volunteering to help the children's home. This year, some of the ladies were going to be taking Christmas Eve dinner to them as well as the toys and donations that had been collected all month. As always, the church members were very generous and easily filled an entire room with toys.
Carmen's "little" job for me included sorting all the toys based on age and gender, a job much better suited for my wife who was getting off easy since she had to take the kids home to nap. I liked being able to help, but if it wasn't a toy I saw frequently in our house, I had no idea how to classify it.
Four hours after I began, my sorting was finally finished. There was a great possibility everything was wrong, but at least it was organized.
"Thank you so much, darling. This looks fantastic," Carmen praised as she wrapped her arms around me.
I hugged her back and allowed her to soothe some of my wariness.
"You're welcome," I said, placing a kiss on her head before she stepped back. "I'm happy to help, but that doesn't mean everything is right."
She slapped my chest. "Oh, shush, you. Everything is fine. You learned your organizational skills from me, so I know no one will have any problems when we deliver these. Are you and Esme still bringing the kids?"
"We are as far as I know," I said with a smile. "Esme and I are very excited."
The children's home was very special to us, even if we hadn't actually fostered any children. After all, Rosalie and Jasper could have easily gone to a similar place to live if we hadn't taken them home with us. The other children deserved everything we were giving them and more, and we were happy to be a part of making their Christmas as merry as possible.
Besides Esme and me going along to help, we were taking our children. It was still a little early to use it as a lesson in being grateful, but we knew they would enjoy playing with the other children. They didn't have much socialization outside of our home, so hopefully it would be a great opportunity for everyone involved.
"So…do you need anything else?" I hedged carefully, honestly not wanting to offer any more help. I felt guilty about my unwillingness, but the only thing I wanted to do was to go home to my family.
Carmen smiled and reached up to pat my cheek. "Carlisle, you could never lie to me when you were a boy, and you haven't improved. Go home to your wife and babies. I love you and I'll see you all tomorrow."
I nodded gratefully and kissed her cheek before leaving as quickly as possible. I could hear Carmen laughing at me, but I didn't stop for anything except to quickly tell Eleazar I was leaving.
Once in the car, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief and focus on driving home. As I drove, I couldn't help but smile as I thought about who was waiting for me. Because of my work schedule, I lived for the weekends and the uninterrupted time with my family. Four hours away from them wasn't all that long, but it was longer than usual. I was ready to get home and enjoy the family time for the rest of the evening.
I hoped Esme had been able to nap when the kids did. It was very difficult to watch her nearly fall into bed every night after her busy day with the kids. I knew she loved every moment with them, but we really needed to work out a new way for her to stay rested. The naps seemed to be working all right for the time being, but the kids were only going to get older and more active. I didn't want Esme to become more and more worn down.
The drive passed quickly with me lost in my thoughts, and I was soon pulling into the garage.
Walking into the house, I didn't know what to expect. Nap time wasn't a set time every day, so there was an equal chance that the kids would be sleeping or playing. When I was met with a silent house, I was pretty sure they were sleeping, but my assumptions were proven false as I walked into the den.
"What are you doing, guys?" I asked softly, smiling as they all turned toward me.
A chorus of "hi, Daddy's" broke out, making my smile widen.
"We watchin' a movie 'bout Christmas," Emmett explained.
I crossed the room and sat on the couch. "A movie, huh? What's happening in your movie?"
Instead of answering, Emmett and Jasper stood from their seats on the floor and crawled up and into my lap before turning their attention back to the movie. Rosalie, however, stood and danced over to stand between my knees.
"It Frossy the 'no man, Daddy," she said with a smile, placing her hands on my knees for support as she jumped up and down. "He a 'no man like we gonna make, right?"
"That's right, baby," I said slowly, trying to push back the shock I was feeling at seeing her this way. She was completely comfortable touching with me, and even though it wasn't the same as allowing me to touch her, this was still a big step.
"It really cold in Aaaaa-laska, right?" she continued.
I nodded, but before I could answer further, Emmett broke out of his cartoon coma and looked up at me.
"Daddy, we goed to the store with Mommy and buyed stuff for our trip," he said proudly. "We rided in the cart and was good."
"You all went to the store with Mommy?" These little people were just shocking me left and right. To my knowledge, Esme had never taken all three of them to the store with her for many reasons, including Jasper and Rosalie's fear of crowds.
""Daddy, I go!" Jasper answered with a quick nod. "And I not scared."
"Good for you, buddy!" I hugged him tightly and placed a kiss on the top of his head. "What about you, baby girl? Did you go to the store, too?"
Her hands didn't leave my knees as she stopped jumping to twist around and bow her head shyly as she nodded. "But I scared," she said almost too softly for me to hear her.
I shifted slightly until I was able to lean forward, getting as close to her as I dared. "It's okay to be scared, sweetheart," I soothed. "But nothing happened, did it?"
"No," she whispered, shaking her head. "Mommy hug me all the time, and I okay."
"And Mommy and I will always protect you." I sat back and hugged Emmett and Jasper to me. "We'll protect all of you," I said again. "You don't have to worry about anything. I promise."
Rosalie nodded once more and relaxed before turning back toward the TV. Her hands never left my knees as she leaned against the couch between my legs.
I couldn't stop watching her as she stood in front of me, and even though I was dying to pull her into my lap, I refrained. Everything was up to her, and this progress was already more than I ever thought we would make today.
While I never wanted the moment to end, I needed to tell Esme. I hoped she would join us in the family room, but fifteen minutes later, I still hadn't heard anything from upstairs which was where I assumed she was.
"Hey, guys…where's Mommy?"
My simple question distracted the boys from the movie, and they gave me a jumble of answers. I only caught part of what they were saying, leaving me very confused. I wasn't sure how shampoo, Alaska, Sarah Beth, cookies, and Christmas presents went together to describe where Esme was.
"So Mommy's upstairs?" I asked, hoping my direct question would receive better results.
"Uh huh," Jasper answered with a nod. "We say dat, Daddy."
"Really? Because I didn't hear anything about 'upstairs' from my silly boys." I tickled them both before they had a chance to get away and continued until they were begging me to stop.
"Okay, okay," I sighed as I moved to stand. "You sillies can catch your breath while I find Mommy."
After tickling them once more just to hear them squeal, I stood and headed toward the stairs. Rosalie crawled into my abandoned spot, ignoring her brothers as "Frossy" held her attention. At least one of them was enjoying the movie.
I made my way upstairs quietly, just in case Esme was napping. The house was quiet and the kids were occupied. It really was the perfect opportunity for her to take a little cat-nap.
When I arrived at our room, I stopped in the doorway before entering. Esme was lying on the bed, but she was facing away from the door so I couldn't tell if she was awake. Instead of going to find out, I was content to just stand and watch her. Asleep or not, she looked peaceful, and I was glad she was getting a moment of rest.
"I'm not sleeping," she mumbled as she turned to her other side to face me.
"And how did you know I was watching you?" I asked with a smirk.
She smiled and reached up to tap her temple. "I have a husband-sense. I can just tell when you're near me, especially when you're staring at me."
I chuckled, and she patted the spot on the bed beside her.
I immediately complied with her request and went to the bed to crawl over to her side. I lay on my back and pulled her over, wrapping my arms around her as her head rested on my chest. I loved having moments like this to just be together, comfortable and completely relaxed.
"So your husband sense let you know I was looking for you?" I asked, chuckling once more.
"It did. That and the baby monitor. I needed to come upstairs and…rest after all the excitement, so I've just been listening to them."
"I guess you heard them telling me about your trip to the store?"
She giggled and cuddled closer. "Some of it, yes. But the boys talk too fast, and was Rosalie whispering?"
"She was," I confirmed. "She was telling me about you hugging her at the store and making it okay. Rosalie seems to have had quite the day today. She was fine with touching me while I was downstairs."
"Really?" she gasped, sitting up quickly so she could see me. "What was she doing?"
"She was jumping around and holding onto my knees. I'm not sure she even noticed she was touching me." I smiled wistfully. "I obviously didn't stop her, and she didn't move. It was just so easy."
"One day it will always be like that," she said with a smile. She lay down once more, this time on her side. I turned so I could see her as she continued. "One day, neither you nor Rosalie will remember this time. Your relationship will be so beautiful."
I took a minute to allow her words to sink in. Because of Rosalie's age, it was entirely possible that she wouldn't remember any of this time. She would probably always be wary of men, but maybe she would never remember being afraid of me. That was something I desperately wanted.
"How did you do it?" I asked softly, reaching out to stroke Esme's neck with my fingertips.
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Do what?"
"You lived through months of abuse, but you always trusted me. You never doubted that my touch wouldn't harm you, even in the hospital right after you...right after." I moved my fingers to her cheek and gently touched her soft skin. She closed her eyes and sighed in what I hoped was contentment. I had a feeling it was after seeing the small curl of her lips.
After a few minutes of silence, she opened her eyes to stare into mine. I could literally see the love she was projecting to me, and I tried to let my love reflect back to her.
"Carlisle, I never had any reason to doubt you," she whispered. "I love you. I always loved you, even when we weren't together. You would hurt yourself before even thinking of hurting me."
I nodded because she was right. I would never hurt her and would gladly suffer for her any day of the week.
"But how did you know?" I questioned further. "How did you know I would be the same as before? Things can change in eight years. How could you tell that I wouldn't be the same as...him?"
"Do you realize that you love me in everything you do?"
Her question caught me off guard at first, but I couldn't deny that I liked what she was saying. I didn't put any conscious effort into my actions, yet somehow my love was translated.
She didn't give me a chance to answer before she continued. "The first thing I heard in the hospital was your voice. You loved me just with your words. I didn't care what you were saying. You were my angel, just like you always had been. I was safe with you."
"That makes me so happy, sweetheart." I pulled her closer to me until there wasn't any space between us. "You'll always be safe with me."
"I know," she said as she placed a kiss on my chest.
"But why weren't you ever afraid of other men?"
She pulled back and eyed me suspiciously. "This isn't about me, is it?"
I shook my head. "No. Not really, but you could humor me."
She snuggled back against me and lay quietly for a moment. It didn't surprise me that she saw right through my questioning.
"I guess part of it was my age," she began. "I was an adult. I knew that not all men were monsters. The ones who had major positions in my life weren't the best examples, but I still knew. Before the monsters, there was you...and Eleazar even. You showed me what real men are. Men who love and cherish the women in their lives.
"As for Rosalie, she's young, so young. I think Siobhan mentioned one time that you're probably the first constant male presence in her life. She didn't have a daddy before you. The first man to have an impact on her life made that impact in such a negative way. I don't know how her mind works, but somehow the connection was made that men only hurt her."
"I just hope she see that I don't want to hurt her," I confessed softly.
"She does, don't worry. She's changed so much and that's because she sees how much you care every day. She misses you when you're at work, you know?"
I was genuinely surprised at her statement because I didn't know. Emmett and Jasper missed me. They told me every day in fact. But Rosalie? I just assumed she was indifferent or even happy that I wasn't around her all day.
"She really does," Esme stressed after seeing the disbelief on my face. "She doesn't say what she's doing, but I can tell she looks for you sometimes. She always glances at your empty chair during lunch or goes down to your study to find you. And when you come home, she's relieved. So please believe me. She knows you won't hurt her. We just have to wait on her to realize it."
I felt like crying tears of happiness and relief, but instead, I held Esme tightly and placed kisses on every spot on her face I could reach. She giggled at my actions, and once I stopped, we calmed down.
"Thank you," I whispered against her hair. "You always know what to say. I love you so much."
"I love you, too. And Rosalie loves you as well. It won't be long before she tells you herself."
"I'll settle for a hug," I said, shrugging sheepishly. "But today was a nice step."
"It was," she agreed. "Now, would you like to hear about the rest of our shopping trip? I think ol' Frossy is almost over so we need to hurry."
We reluctantly crawled out of bed so Esme could point out our full suitcases and all the travel supplies she had bought. Everything appeared to be ready for our trip, and I could tell we were both excited. The trip would be a new adventure for our family, one where we could create new memories.
The thought of not seeing Kate and family on Christmas was disheartening, but knowing we would see them only a few days later made it more bearable. Spending this holiday without them would be different, but we were still going to make sure it was happy and as perfect as possible.
The next day passed quicker than I had anticipated.
The kids were still young enough to not know exactly what was going on, so thankfully they weren't begging for it to be present time all day.
After breakfast, we met Carmen, Eleazar, and the rest of the group at the church so we could all drive over to the children's home together. We had collected so many things that many of the cars were practically bursting at the seams.
Being at the home was a bit surreal for our family. Knowing that two of our children could have easily been in this same situation definitely touched our hearts and made us hug Rosalie and Jasper a little tighter.
While the adults worked to distribute the toys and food, we sent the kids to play. It was fun to watch them with new playmates and to see how their personalities shined through. Rosalie and Jasper remained shy, but they weren't nearly as shy as they were around adults. Even though they were quiet and hesitant, they easily made as many new friends as Emmett, and it was very rewarding to see how kind they were.
I squeezed Esme's hand many times so she would turn her attention to the kids. There was nothing better than seeing Rosalie hug one of her new friends or Emmett sharing toys. And hearing Jasper talk to his new friends was just as special. It was very clear that we were doing something right with them which brought huge smiles to both of our faces.
Even when our work was finished for the day, most of us stayed to visit with the adults who were in charge and play with the kids.
For Esme and me it was very moving to see where Rosalie and Jasper could have been living and how their life would have been different. It was a happy place, and none of the children were mistreated in any way, but it wasn't the same as being with a family. These children didn't have the stability or the same level of attention an adoptive family could provide. Our hope was that one day they would all be adopted, but sadly, that wasn't always the case.
The visit was also eye-opening for us in another way. Just from Esme's face I could easily see her great level of sympathy for the little ones, but it wasn't like how we had felt when we met Rosalie and Jasper. Right away, we had known they were meant to be ours. Not being drawn to other children was a relieving conformation that we were doing exactly what we were supposed to do.
We spent most of the day visiting, letting the kids skip their usual afternoon nap, but eventually, they were too tired and whiny to stay any longer. After saying goodbye, we headed home and put the kids down for a much needed nap.
As they slept, Esme and I got everything ready for dinner and for what would happen after dinner.
Every Christmas Eve, the two of us exchanged gifts and also gave Emmett a couple of presents to tide him over until the morning. We were continuing it this year with Rosalie and Jasper as well, and Esme and I were both excited to see how they would react.
Judging by the way Esme rushed around anxiously, I guessed that she was very excited.
Once the kids were awake and fed, we gathered them in the living room floor.
"All right, my babies," Esme announced, taking her place next to the tree. "It's time for presents!"
Emmett's face lit up as he jumped from his seat next to me. "Time for presents now, Mommy? This's so cool!"
I gently pulled him back down and kissed his temple. "Just a few presents though, buddy," I whispered into his ear.
"What bout Santa?"
"Tomorrow morning, remember? These are just presents from Mommy and Daddy."
He nodded thoughtful and returned to bouncing while staying seated.
I quickly glanced to Jasper who was in my lap and Rosalie who was in Esme's.
Because we had already decided to have Santa for Emmett, we couldn't exactly not do it for Rosalie and Jasper. They had watched many of the cartoons that showed the character of Santa Claus in a favorable way, but the tale made them nervous, not that I blamed them. Our little ones were afraid of strange men. How could they not be nervous when we told them that a strange man was supposedly going to come into our house while they were sleeping? For that reason, we told them an edited version of the story, hoping to spare them at least a fraction of unneeded anxiety.
I was afraid they had heard my conversation with Emmett, but as I glanced at them, I saw that they were perfectly calm, if not excited about this whole present thing Esme was talking about.
"So who's going first, sweetheart?" I asked, hoping to get things moving.
She smiled and reached under the tree. "I was thinking we could all open one at the same time. How's that sound?"
"That sounds perfect."
Esme pulled out five identical boxes, and we passed them around until everyone had the correct one.
Emmett tore right into his, only pausing when the tape on the box gave him some trouble. Esme and I helped Rosalie and Jasper get started with theirs before opening ours, but Emmett still beat everyone.
"Lookit my jammies!" he squealed happily as he pulled them out of the box. "They gots feet and pengins!"
"Em, I gots 'em, toooo!" Jasper pulled his out of the box as well and squirmed in my lap until he was facing Emmett, and they compared their identical pajamas. The red pajamas with the little skiing penguins wearing Santa hats were apparently very giggle worthy, and the boys laughed even more when I pulled my matching flannel pants out of my box.
"Daddy, you matches us," Emmett said proudly, and I nodded.
"Mmhmm. And look at Mommy and Rosalie." I pointed over to them as they pulled out their pajamas. They were nearly identical, just with a pink background instead of red.
We had decided to start a new tradition by giving the kids matching Christmas pajamas for them to wear on Christmas Eve night. When we were shopping and found the penguin footie pajamas, we knew those were the ones to get. Luckily we found our matching flannel pants online.
"So does everyone want to wear theirs tonight so we can all match in the morning?" Esme asked, looking around to all the kids.
"Can I haves a bow?" Rosalie asked as she reached up to pat the large one that was currently in her hair. Esme rummaged through the gift box until she found the matching bow we had bought, making Rosalie squeal just like her brothers. "I wanna wear it! Peas?"
I chuckled at her excitement. "You'll get to wear the bow tomorrow, baby girl. But you can wear the pajamas tonight."
Esme nodded in agreement. "Daddy's right, baby. We're all going to wear ours tonight."
Rosalie agreed with the plan and turned her focus back to the pajamas. Seeing the pure joy our kids felt over such a simple thing was better than any material gift.
But the gifts did continue until our floor was full of wrapping paper and boxes.
Esme and I had kept our gifts to each other fairly low-key. She gave me a new watch as well as some books and clothing. My gifts to her were basically the same; clothing and books, but also some more scrapbooking supplies in hopes that she would soon have some time to herself. She never complained, but I knew it had to be draining to never have time to do the things she liked to do by herself. But now that Rosalie was more comfortable around me, I would be able to take all the kids more often and try to give Esme that time.
The kids each received a couple of small gifts, just enough to keep them occupied for the evening. It didn't take Rosalie and Jasper long to be unwrapping presents just like Emmett, and seeing their amazement as they opened even the smallest toy was unbelievable. We weren't spoiling them by any means, but by the looks on their faces, it would seem that we had given them the world. And in a way, we had. They were finally living the happy life they deserved to live.
We saved our gifts from the kids for last, hoping the excitement level would drop so getting them to bed wouldn't be too difficult.
As always, we received new framed portraits of the kids. That gift wasn't exactly from the kids, but we still gave them credit. We were also given gifts they picked out themselves, and they definitely had very interesting tastes. The boys had picked out several t-shirts for me to wear around the house, including an Elmo one. They were so excited about it, so I couldn't help but be excited with them.
Esme's gifts also included some crazy t-shirts as well as several decorative plates I had taken the kids to decorate. She absolutely loved them and couldn't wait to hang them in her study and in the kitchen.
The last gift of the night was from Rosalie to me, and I was ready to see what it was. Esme had been whispering in her ear all night while looking over at me, leading me to believe that it was about this present.
Finally, Rosalie stood from Esme's lap and slowly walked over to me. Emmett and Jasper were playing beside me, and I focused on them so she wouldn't be nervous any more than she already was. When she was directly in front of me, I looked up at her, smiling softly but not moving.
"Here," she whispered, passing me the small box in her hand.
I held my hand out and gently took the box. "Thank you, Rosalie. Did you pick this out for me?"
She nodded and turned to look back at Esme but didn't move from her spot. I also looked over at Esme, and she nodded encouragingly at both of us.
I tore through the paper quickly and opened the box, smiling as I pulled out the contents. Normally, the gift of a coffee mug would have been a cliché, but this was just perfect. One side had the words I Love My Daddy, and the other side had Rosalie's pink, sparkly hand print.
"This is beautiful, sweetheart," I said as I turned it around in my hands. "Thank you so much."
I looked up at her once more, and I was surprised to see her staring intently at me. Her bright, blue eyes held a look of warning which I didn't understand. But as she timidly moved forward with her arms out, I began to figure it out.
Her warning was for me. She was warning me to not move, to not hurt her, to not make her regret this.
Tears filled my eyes as her hands touched my shoulders. She was nearly shaking, but she still managed to bring herself close to me and rest her head against my shoulder.
I froze for a second, but it was easy to see how scared she was, and I needed to comfort her. I lifted my arms and tentatively wrapped them around her, making sure not to use too much pressure. As I gently rubbed her back, I placed a kiss on her head and just enjoyed the moment.
"Oh, my sweet girl," I mumbled. "I love you so, so much."
I continued my slow rubbing as she began to relax in my arms. She wasn't completely relaxed, but it was enough for her to stop shaking.
The moment was so special and so powerful, I never wanted it to end. I barely noticed that Esme had brought out her camera which made it very obviously that she had planned this.
"Beautiful," she mouthed to me, wiping her own tears away.
"Thank you," I mouthed back, and she simply winked. I knew I couldn't love that woman any more if I tried.
All too soon, Rosalie began to move back, and I dropped my arms so she wouldn't feel trapped. The last thing I wanted was for her to panic.
She carefully removed her hands from my shoulder and stepped back until she was no longer in contact with me. I winked and blew her a kiss, making her smile shyly and run back over to Esme. Esme pulled her into her lap and held her tightly, smiling proudly the whole time.
"That was the best Christmas present ever, Rosalie. Thank you so much, baby girl."
Esme kissed Rosalie cheek, and I heard her whisper, "See? I told you you could do it. You made Daddy so happy." Rosalie nodded, and I watched as her body sagged in relief, finally able to relax.
I wasn't offended or disappointed by her tension - far from it, in fact. If nothing else, I had just earned a massive amount of trust points. One hug would lead to another one. Several hugs would lead to complete trust, and that was a day I had been waiting eight months for. No, I was not disappointed in any way.
The boys had been oblivious to the whole exchange, their focus entirely on their new set of plastic cars. I watched them play for a few minutes before Jasper started yawning and crawled into my lap.
"I wear new jammies now?" he asked, ending his question with another big yawn.
"Sure, buddy," I said, brushing his hair off his forehead. "Let's go get ready for bed, and then we'll read a story. How does that sound?"
He nodded. "Good. We go now?"
I stood with him in my arms, making sure to grab his pajamas. "Come on, Em," I said as I motioned for him to follow us. "Bring your jammies and let's go upstairs."
Emmett abandoned his new toys, far less reluctantly than I thought he would, and grabbed his pajamas before reading up for me. I picked him up as well and headed upstairs with Esme and Rosalie followed behind us.
After helping Emmett and Jasper in the bathroom, I dressed them and let them giggle at the monkeys as I got their bed ready.
When everything was all set, we met Rosalie and Esme downstairs and settled in on the couch with our favorite book that told the Christmas story of Jesus' birth. I usually illustrated the story with Emmett's little nativity set, but I decided to skip it this year because Jasper and Emmett were mostly asleep before I even finished the book. Rosalie was close to sleep as well, so we took them upstairs together.
Emmett and Jasper went down easily, and after making sure the nightlight was on, I walked across the hall to Rosalie's room where Esme was tucking her in. Esme was speaking softly to her, and as I quietly entered the room, I heard their whispered goodnights before kisses were given.
Esme crawled off the bed, smiling as she saw me inch closer. I hadn't consciously decided what I was going to do, but my feet never stopped moving until I was directly beside the bed. Rosalie's eyelids were drooping, but I knew she saw me and wasn't panicking. At that moment, I knew what I wanted. I wanted to kiss my baby girl goodnight for the first time while she was still awake.
I slowly leaned down, giving her a chance to protest, but she remained unmoving and calm which gave me even more confidence. My lips touched her forehead with the gentlest of pressure, lingering there for just a moment before I pulled back.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," I whispered. "I love you and I'll see you in the morning."
She sighed softly, closing her eyes as I righted myself and cautious walked backward toward the hall. Esme had already taken care of the nightlight, so I turned the light off as I left, almost bumping into my wife in the process.
Wordlessly, we went to our room and changed into our own penguin pajamas before beginning the process of putting the rest of the gifts out. Many trips were made from our closet to the den until the Santa duties were fulfilled, including eating a plate of cookies with milk.
With everything ready for the next day, I checked on the ever-going fire, turned on some Christmas music, and pulled Esme down to sit on the couch with me.
"Tired?" she murmured as she laid her head against my shoulder.
"Mmhmm. But it's the best kind of tired. Today was just…perfect. Thank you for everything." I wrapped my arms around her and relaxed for the first time all day.
"You're welcome, but you don't have to thank me. You did just as much as me tonight. So thank you."
I chuckled, shaking my head. "I'm afraid we'll have to agree to disagree, sweetheart. What you did…with Rosalie? That was just incredible, and I can never thank you enough for that."
"I just gave her a few pep-talks." She shrugged. "That was all her tonight, though. I just put the idea in her head. I told you she loves you."
Her smugness made me laugh again, but I didn't disagree. How could I disagree? Rosalie had completely caught me off guard in almost the best way possible, and not much other than love could explain it.
As we continued to listen to the quiet music together, Esme never did fully relax. I blamed it on all the excitement. Our last couple of hours had been crazy.
The longer we sat, the more tired I became. Sitting in front of the fire with my wife was great, but I was ready to curl up together in our warm bed. We had survived Christmas Eve, but Christmas day promised to be even busier and more exhausting. If I was already tired, Esme had to be dead on her feet.
After a few more minutes, I kissed Esme's temple and removed my arm from her shoulders as I started to stand, but she placed her hand on my leg to stop me.
"Wait," she said softly. "I have one more present for you."
She shifted to the side and pulled a box out from behind her. I raised my eyebrows at the fact that she had been hiding this present. Her inability to relax made more sense now as did her anxiety from the rest of the night.
She shrugged as she passed the small, rectangular box. "This one is a bit of a surprise. I didn't…um…plan on giving you this present, but it might be your favorite."
My questioning look then turned to a mixture of surprise and disbelief. I really did want to believe her, but it just didn't seem like anything could be better than the special gift I had received earlier from Rosalie.
"Open it," Esme instructed after I had paused for too long. She bit her lip nervously, but as I searched her eyes for clues, I couldn't find anything except happiness.
I slowly removed the ribbon and tore through the paper until the thin box was completely free. I gently removed the lid and pushed the tissue paper aside, gasping as I spotted the plastic wand that rested within.
It wasn't a completely unfamiliar object, but I had never seen one inside our house. Numbly, I lifted the pregnancy test from the box and carefully held it in my hands as if it would break.
"What is this?" I asked, mostly to myself. Esme seemed to recognize my rhetorical question and remained silent. I quickly glanced toward her, seeing tears filling her eyes as her hand covered her mouth nervously. She nodded, and I turned my attention to my hands, almost afraid that the digital screen would change if I stopped staring at it.
"Is this what I think it is?" I whispered, looking up at her again.
"What do you think it is?" she responded just as quietly. Her eyes gave me all the hope I needed to ask the most important question.
"Did you pee on this?"
I realized a second too late how ridiculous my question sounded, but Esme just nodded as a broken sob escaped her lips.
I wasted no time in pulling her into my arms as I placed as many kisses as I could over her face.
"Oh, sweetheart. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is such a miracle. Oh, thank you, God. Amazing. Amazing." My nearly indiscernible mumblings flew out of my mouth as the tears flowed down her face.
Even through her sobs which were now a mixture of laughter as well, I could still hear her whispered "yes" after each of my statements.
This continued until she needed to catch her breath, and once she did, I pulled her as close to me as I dared and rubbed her back as we calmed together.
"When?" I breathed out to break the silence, hoping she would know what I meant.
"Yesterday. I was getting the travel things at the store, and then…and I walked by the tampons, and well…I realized something has been missing for…a while."
I managed to understand her through her soft hiccups and slowly began to process what she was telling me. As I thought about it more, I saw how easily we could have missed that particular sign. We had been so busy for the past several months, barely having time to give attention to anything that didn't require it. And since Esme and I never let anything interrupt our time together, it was so easy for us to not notice.
"So you took this test?"
She nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't wait for you, but I just had to know. There are two other tests in the box so I can take another one, but I don't think it's needed."
"No, sweetheart. Don't apologize. It's more than fine." I hugged her tighter. "I love how you surprised me. This night has just been…wow. I never expected this."
She leaned back slightly, and I seized the opportunity to reach my hand between us to rest on her abdomen. She let out a little gasp as she slowly brought her hand to rest on mine. The scene was just so perfect - our hands together covering our baby's home for the next however many months.
"We're having a baby? We're having a baby." I chuckled softly, liking the way it sounded. "My beautiful wife and I are going to have a baby. I love saying that."
Esme giggled as she sniffled back her fresh tears, and I brought my free hand up to cup her cheek. I wasn't about to remove my other hand, and I soon began moving it in a slow circle, pressing down ever so slightly. Yes, the firmness proved that she was definitely pregnant.
"So you're happy?" My head instantly rose after hearing Esme's soft question, and she giggled when she saw my incredulous expression. "Okay, okay. I know it was a silly question. Of course you're as happy as me. I hated keeping it from you for even a day."
"But I know why you did, and, darling, this was perfect. I love you so much." I leaned forward, capturing her lips with mine, and she quickly responded.
Our kiss was soft and gentle, but only for a few short minutes. The passion soon sky-rocketed between us, leaving us panting and moaning and making so many other sounds that we rarely let out in common areas of the house.
I finally couldn't take it any longer. I removed my lips from hers so she could catch her breath, and as she did, I looked over at the fire. It had died down and thankfully didn't require any other attention. I went through the rest of my nighttime checklist in my head, and as soon as I discovered it was complete, I pulled Esme over into my lap and stood up.
She squeaked in surprise and threw her arms around my neck. "Carlisle, what are we—"
"Upstairs. We're going upstairs. Now."
She nodded fervently, and after grabbing the test along with its box, I rushed us up the stairs, not stopping until I reached the bed. Esme trailed kisses up and down my neck, not stopping until I gently dropped her on the bed. She let out a little yelp and a giggle before pulling off her long sleeved t-shirt, penguin pants, and panties.
As quickly as possible, I closed the door, turned on the lamp, and turned out the overhead light. I found a safe place for my gift on my nightstand and then crawled into the bed and onto my wife, hovering directly over her.
"Are you ready for your final gift of the night, sweetheart? There's no way I can compete with what you gave me, but I'm sure I can make it worth your while."
She reached up, holding my face in her hands. "Carlisle, you silly man. You don't have to compete with me. And you know each and every time gets better and…Oh!"
She gasped as I lowered my hips against hers. I was beyond ready for her, and judging by her slow, grinding movements, she was ready for me, too.
"Pants off," she whispered, pulling me down to her lips.
"Not yet," I said against her. "Patience, my dear wife."
She huffed playfully, but I cut her off, kissing her thoroughly until her lips were slightly swollen and her eyes no longer held any tiredness. Instead, her eyes now held desire, the same desire I was reflecting back to her.
"And now," I began as I shifted again, "now, I will show my gratitude to every. Inch. Of. Your. Body."
She moaned loudly, and I quickly cut her off with another kiss, hoping she would remember that we had kids in the house. Noise was fine, preferable in fact, but we didn't want to wake everyone and wind up with a bed full.
"I think I'll start here," I said as my lips traced a path from her lips to behind her ear where I placed a hot kiss. She turned her head to give me access, and I covered the area before trailing down her neck and over to the other side. I knew she wanted me to go faster, but I was enjoying myself.
After kissing from her shoulders to her finger tips on both sides, I made it to her breasts. Holding them lightly in my hands, I noticed the slight changed. They were bigger, but not quite big enough to distinctly see the change through her clothing. Each new sign of pregnancy I discovered was another miracle and thrilled me to no end.
Esme bit her lip to muffle her sounds as I paid ample attention to each breast. At first, I didn't know if anything was different, if she would be sore or possibly more sensitive. More sensitive was definitely the case, and I smiled against her skin, once again being reminded of our precious blessing.
Once I was positive her breasts weren't neglected, I moved down her torso before pausing at her abdomen. I gently rubbed the area again, pressing slightly just because it made me smile.
"Hi, baby," I whispered as I placed a reverent kiss right below Esme's navel. "I'm your daddy, and I love you so, so much. I love your Mommy very much, too, so you just stay asleep or whatever you're doing right now while I finish loving on Mommy, okay?"
"Carlisle," Esme snorted, brushing her fingers through my hair. "Please don't inform our baby of what we're doing right now."
"Our baby," I repeated slowly. "Do you know how much I love hearing and saying that?" I lifted my head and met her eyes, and she nodded.
"It's the same for me," she whispered. "I love you."
"I adore you, Esme. Now, I'll get back to showing you."
I grinned before returning to my task, kissing from her abdomen to her hips, sucking lightly on the skin just at the curve.
"Carlisle," she moaned, "lower, please. Please, lower."
I did as she said, not wanting to be cruel with my teasing. As soon as my lips brushed her center, she was quivering under me. I added my fingers and watched as her arms and legs began shaking as the pleasurable tension built. Only a few short moments later, she came apart, mumbling incoherently as her body surged. I sat up slightly and watched, using my fingers to gently bring her back down. She truly looked stunning as her body flushed and jerked from my ministrations.
While she calmed, I resumed my showing of gratitude down her right leg, followed by her left. I sat up after placing the final kiss on her smallest toe and smirked when I saw that Esme had propped herself up on her elbows to watch me.
"Pants off now?" she asked, both arching her eyebrow in challenge and biting her bottom lip.
I barked a short laugh, kicking off my pants and underwear before throwing my t-shirt into the pile as well. I crawled up her body until I was hovering over her once more.
Her bright eyes gazed up at me, and I couldn't help but smile. She was a perfect mix of confidence and shyness, and she knew she could get me to do anything.
"How's this?" I questioned softly, brushing her hair out of her face.
She nodded. "Mmhmm. Much better."
"Good. I love you, sweetheart" I whispered, lowering my body and reaching down to help guide us together.
She sighed and hummed in pleasure as we fit together perfectly, just like always.
"Love you," she mumbled, and then no other words were needed.
I kept my movements slow and steady, knowing this was what we both needed. We were celebrating something our love had created, and anything fast and rough would have distorted our time together.
Esme wrapped her legs around my hips, meeting every thrust with one of her own until she couldn't any longer. I continued at the same pace, using my fingers to coax her to another release. I followed shortly behind her and pulled us both to the side so I wouldn't collapse on her.
We were still connected and even breathing at the same quick rate as I held her in my arms.
"Definitely worth my while," she mumbled, kissing my chest before yawning.
I kissed her head and ran my fingers through her now knotted hair. "Shower then sleep?"
"Perfect," she sighed, placing her arms around my neck.
I took it as a sign that she wanted me to carry her, so I did just that.
We took a quick shower and redressed in our penguin pajamas. I then sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for Esme to stand between my legs so I could brush her hair. It was something I loved doing, and I allowed myself to think of one day soon doing it for Rosalie. After the events of the night, it seemed very possible.
The whole day seemed to catch up with us at the same time, and after I turned off the lamp, we both sank into the bed. Normally, Esme slept facing me, sometimes with her head on my chest. But tonight, I pulled her back to my chest, wanting to rest my hand over our precious little one as much as possible.
I was almost asleep when Esme twisted slightly so she could kiss my nose. "Thank you," she whispered.
I opened my eyes and attempted to focus on her face in the dark. "What for, sweetheart?"
"For not going all 'doctor' or overprotective on me," she explained. "You weren't careful…I mean, you weren't extra careful. Wait…this isn't sounding right."
"I think I understand," I said slowly. "Do you mean when we made love?"
She nodded. "Yes. You weren't afraid of hurting me or the baby like I've heard that some men think, and you haven't tried to examine me either. I'm just a little surprised."
"Sweetheart," I said, chuckling. "I can count the number of obstetrics rotations I've had on one hand. I know just enough to be dangerous but not know anything specific. I do know that nothing like what we did will harm the baby. As long as you're comfortable, and we don't put any extra pressure on your abdomen, it will be fine.
"And, I'm not a doctor here," I continued. "I'm your husband and now the father of four children. All of you need me for those roles, not for being a doctor."
"But can you still tell me that everything's all right?" she asked hesitant, her voice wavering slightly.
"Don't worry, sweetheart." I pulled her closer. "We'll get an appointment with the doctor as soon as we can, but in my heart, I know everything is okay. And professionally…well, I feel the same way. Let's not worry about anything before we have to. Deal?"
"Deal." She turned her head back to a more comfortable position on my shoulder, and I pulled the covers up as I settled in for the night.
I almost expected my mind to be going all night after the incredible day we had had, but instead, I felt nothing but peace as I quickly slipped into sleep beside my beautiful wife.
My sleep was completely undisturbed, and I woke with a smile on my face. Esme and I hadn't moved at all during the night, and I couldn't feel any extra bodies in the bed. It was the perfect opportunity for me to have a conversation with our miracle.
I carefully removed my arm from under Esme's head and shifted her to lie on her back. She let out a sigh but didn't wake, even as I slowly lifted her shirt.
I scooted down until my head was over her abdomen and placed a few soft kisses all around.
"Good morning, little one," I whispered. "And Merry Christmas. Next year, you'll get to celebrate Christmas with us, too. I can't wait to carry you downstairs with your brothers and sister. They're going to love you, I promise. And of course, Mommy and I love you more than words can say. Speaking of your Mommy, I think she's waking up now so we'll continue our chat later."
Esme had started moving slightly, and when I saw her smile, I knew she was awake and could hear me.
"Don't let me interrupt you," she said, voice filled with sleep.
I placed one last kiss over our little one before righting myself on the bed. "I think we're finished for now, but I'll let you know whenever we need to talk some more."
"Sounds good," she murmured, ending with a yawn as she stretched and cuddled to my side.
"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," I said, kissing her softly.
"Merry Christmas, Carlisle. What time is it?"
I titled my head to look at the clock, discovering how early it actually was.
"Just after six," I answered. "I'm surprised no one is in our bed yet. Maybe we should get up now before they do."
"All right." She yawned again as we both rolled to the edge of the bed and stood.
We headed to the bathroom together and went through part of our morning routine, just short of getting dressed. We were all going to wear our pajamas for opening presents and for breakfast, so real clothing could wait until it was time for lunch.
As we moved around each other in the bathroom, I couldn't help but reach over and lay my hand over our baby, even though the spot was still rather flat. I wasn't sure I had come to terms with it yet. After less than twenty-four hours of knowing, I was still very much in shock, and Esme seemed to be the same way even though she had known a day longer than me. It was just almost unbelievable that we had been given a baby when we were least expecting it.
"Umm…Carlisle?" Esme called, catching my hand as we were about to leave the bathroom to head downstairs.
I stopped and turned, gathering her into my arms. "Yes?"
"Umm…could we maybe not tell anyone today? I really want to wait until after I go to the doctor, just to be sure. I know our family would be supportive no matter what, but I would feel better if we waited just a couple of days. Is that okay?"
I nodded. "Of course, sweetheart. I understand what you mean, and I completely agree. A few days won't hurt anything, and I'll try my best to not give the secret away."
"Well, we need to be careful because Carmen notices everything."
"Yes, she does," I said with a chuckle. "We'll just get the kids to distract her. Let's feed them plenty of sugar at breakfast." I expected her to brush me off, but instead, she looked thoughtful.
"French toast with extra cinnamon sugar sound good?" she asked while nodding slowly. "That should get them hyped up enough."
I laughed loudly as I hugged her tighter. "Esme, somehow you manage to surprise me every day. I love you so much, my precious and wonderful wife."
She giggled with me. "I love you, too. And I think I'll make breakfast now before the kids wake up. We also need a present plan."
I agreed that we definitely needed to figure out how we were going to handle three kids, so I went down to the kitchen with her. We talked while she cooked and came up with a plan that would possibly work.
As Esme cooked, I set the table and cleaned up after her. Once breakfast was finished and put in the oven to stay warm, it was time to wake the kids.
According to our plan, Esme would bring the kids down stairs as I sat on the couch, ready to film everything. This way, every reaction would be recorded, starting with the very first one. Christmas was such a new concept for Rosalie and Jasper, so we didn't know how they would react to seeing everything Santa brought.
A few minutes later, I began hearing running on the stairs, and Emmett soon burst into the room.
"Merry Christmas, buddy." I chuckled as his eyes widened.
"Hi, Daddy," he whispered, still in awe. "Santa bringed lots and lots of stuff."
"He sure did. And I think that's your pile," I said, pointing over to where we had stacked his toys. He didn't need any other instructions as he ran over and began tearing at paper.
I turned my attention back to the doorway, smiling as Esme entered the room with Rosalie and Jasper in her arms.
"Look, guys," she said softly. "Santa brought you some presents. Do you want to go see them?"
They both nodded, and Esme brought them over to sit in front of their piles. Jasper got up and walked over to me, crawling into my lap.
"Morning, buddy," I said, kissing his head. "Are you ready to open all your presents?"
He nodded. "Daddy, you hold me, kay?"
"Sure, buddy." I slid down into the floor with him and helped get him started with his gifts. The whole Santa concept still made him nervous, but it only took a few minutes for him to relax and enjoying opening his gifts.
As paper flew around the room, I managed to get some good video of everything, including my favorite parts of the morning. Rosalie's squeals of delight over her new dress-up clothes and baby doll warmed my heart, as did Emmett and Jasper's cheers over their new building blocks and toy trucks. Even the smallest gifts made them smile in joy, and I tried to capture as much of that joy as possible.
Once everything was unwrapped, Esme and I moved to sit on the couch so we could watch them as they played. Esme turned the TV on so we could watch some of the Christmas parade. The kids took a break long enough to watch part of it with us, and we even managed to sneak in a family picture, knowing that breakfast would be a sticky mess.
I also snuck in one last rub and kiss to baby Cullen, hoping it would tide me over until we were home from Carmen and Eleazar's house.
Breakfast was a very messy affair, as I had suspected it would be, but the clean-up wasn't too bad. When everyone was syrup and sugar free, we dressed in more matching outfits and were soon leaving for lunch.
Carmen and Eleazar were extremely happy to see us, as if they hadn't seen us in weeks. It had only been two days, but I understood. This was the first year in a while that they didn't have Kate's family here with them, so the house was a bit quiet even with our three loud children.
Keeping myself in check all afternoon wasn't as difficult as I had expected, partially because I wasn't around Esme very much. Carmen monopolized my wife's time, and either my uncle or the hyper kids wanted my constant attention.
The day passed quickly with even more gifts and delicious food. The kids were exhausted by the time we went home late in the evening, and we put them in bed right away.
"Daddy?" Emmett mumbled as I tucked him in. "This was the best Christmas ever."
I smiled as I kissed his forehead. "You're right, buddy. This was the best Christmas ever."
Besides the fact that Esme and I had received such an incredible gift, we had also made the day special for all three of the children, just as we had intended. Rosalie and Jasper had smiled all day long and laughed more than I had ever heard them laugh. We didn't need them to confirm how much they enjoyed the day, but they did tell us over and over how much they loved everything.
But as Esme and I curled up in bed, I began to understand some of Esme's worry over this situation. Rosalie and Jasper were finally getting used to having a normal life, and it was all about to change. I knew Emmett would go with the flow like he always had, but the twins were another story.
I tried to calm my mind and remind myself that we had other things to do first before we worried about telling the kids, but sleep still didn't come easily.
Early the next morning, Esme called her doctor and was able to get a morning appointment. I had a feeling that the doctor was doing this as a favor to us considering that the appointment was thirty minutes before the office usually opened. I just added it to the list of reasons why I loved Esme's doctor.
Dr. Irina Banner was actually one of the best OB/GYNs in the city, and it was nothing short of a miracle that Esme found her. When Esme arrived in Seattle after running from Charles, she simply looked in the phone book for doctors and picked the first one. She didn't have health insurance or much money, but Dr. Banner still took her on as a patient, not making her pay anything.
Throughout Esme's pregnancy with Emmett, Dr. Banner was a great support and kept Esme informed and healthy all the way up until his birth. And she was still supportive now.
I had been incredibly impressed when I first met her. The young, blonde haired doctor was excellent at assuring Esme that nothing was wrong when we were trying to conceive. She had promised that it would happen when the time was right, and we chose to believe her. We both trusted her completely, and I was very excited about sharing this news with her.
The only problem we had was finding someone to watch the kids without telling them where we were going. Carmen was always our first choice, but we couldn't risk trying to keep a secret from her.
As we sat downstairs trying to figure something out, there was a knock at the door, and when I opened it, I was surprised to find Eleazar.
"Menny's baking today for some reason and she sent you some muffins," he explained, holding out a plastic container.
"Thanks, E," I said with a smile, gesturing for him to enter. I placed the muffins on the counter before returning to the den.
"Sweetheart, Uncle E brought us some muffins," I announced as we entered the room.
"Good morning, Ezzie," Eleazar said with a wave. "My wife's a bit crazy this morning, but at least you don't have to cook breakfast today."
Esme stared at him for a moment and then glanced at me before smiling. "Thank you for the muffins, E. And can I ask an extra favor?"
"Of course," he said with a nod.
"Does Carmen expect you home any time soon?"
He shook his head. "She basically pushed me out of the house and told me to spend the day with the grandbabies. I walked into the kitchen too many times for her liking, apparently."
Esme's smile grew. "So you wouldn't mind staying here for a while? Carlisle and I have an errand to run, and we need to leave in 45 minutes. Is that okay?"
"Sounds good. Are any of them awake now?"
"No," I said, shaking my head, "but I think we're about to wake them now so they'll know we're leaving."
"Good idea, son," he said before turning toward the kitchen. "I'm about to go help myself to the muffins."
"Yes, you go ahead while we wake the kids up and send them down," Esme said as she got up to take my hand. "Thanks again, E."
He simply shrugged it off before going into the kitchen.
"Excellent thinking, sweetheart," I whispered as we climbed the stairs. Eleazar was the perfect person for this job. He didn't ask questions when they weren't needed, and since Carmen already expected him to be here, nothing would seem out of the ordinary.
"Thanks. I wouldn't have thought of him until he showed up. Now let's just hope they'll be okay with this."
I knew she wasn't really talking about the boys since they both loved playing with Pops. Rosalie, however, had never stayed with just him before, but she was strong. A few hours wouldn't be that bad, and I had no doubt that she would be okay.
Esme and I separated as she went to wake Rosalie and I went into the boys' room. Emmett was snoring lightly, and even Jasper appeared to be sleeping soundly. But one touch to his shoulder was all it took to rouse him.
He opened his eyes for a few seconds before closing them and lifting his arms. I chuckled silently and picked him up, swaying from side to side as I rubbed his back.
"Someone's here to see you, buddy," I whispered, kissing his head.
He nodded but didn't say anything, so I carried him downstairs.
Eleazar smiled when he saw us come into the kitchen. "There's my boy," he said cheerfully, and Jasper's head immediately popped up.
"Hi, Pops," he said, reaching his arms out for him. I passed him over to Eleazar and headed back upstairs to get Emmett.
My other son wasn't as easy to wake, but I soon had him downstairs eating breakfast with Pops as well. With the boys happy, I headed to our bedroom to quickly get dressed.
I almost ran into Esme and Rosalie on the stairs, and I stopped because Esme looked slightly worried.
"What's wrong?" I asked, reaching out to stop them from going any farther.
"Someone's worried about staying here with Pops," Esme explained, and Rosalie shook her head.
"You'll have lots of fun with Pops, baby girl," I said, leaning over to kiss her hand that was resting on Esme's shoulder. "Why don't you go ask him to make some of his special chocolate milk in your princess cup?"
The idea seemed to entice her a little, but she still didn't look convinced. There wasn't much we could do, though, besides hope for the best.
As Esme got Rosalie settled, I went through my usual ten minute bathroom routine and finished right before Esme needed the room.
While she quickly dressed, I checked on everyone in the kitchen. The boys were happily eating blueberry muffins and chatting with Eleazar, but Rosalie remained hesitant. She was eating and didn't appear to be upset which was a good sign.
"Everything good here?" I asked as I stood in the doorway.
"Just fine," Eleazar said with a nod. "My boys are making plans to show me all their new toys, but I told them I might want to play dress-up with my princess." He winked at Rosalie, causing her to put her head down bashfully.
"Rosalie, are you going to make Pops wear a dress?" I asked playfully, smiling when she lifted her head to look at me. "Pops would look so silly, wouldn't he?"
She grinned and nodded before going back to eating, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Rosalie would be fine as long as her boundaries were respected, and Eleazar certainly would.
Esme joined us in the kitchen a few minutes later, looking beautiful in her long, winter coat.
"Okay, guys. Daddy and I are going out for a little while, but we'll be back before lunch," she said. "Pops is going to stay and play, so you be good and listen."
A few months ago, this would have caused panic in at least two of our children, but now, they simply asked a few questions. We answered them the best we could without sounding suspicious, and after a few kisses goodbye and multiple reassurances for Rosalie, we were out the door.
The drive seemed to pass at a snail's pace, but it only felt that way because of our anxiety. Esme gripped my hand tightly as we walked into the building and up to the reception desk. The waiting area was completely empty, so I pulled Esme into my lap and rubbed her shoulders as she filled out her information. There wasn't much since she was a returning patient, but I didn't want her anxiety to take over. A high blood pressure reading was not something we wanted to see today.
After Esme turned in the paperwork, we only had to wait a couple of minutes before being called back. The nurse took her weight first, and I was happy to see that Esme had gained a few pounds. One of my worries was about the baby's growth, and weight gain was definitely a good thing. Thankfully, her blood pressure was completely normal even with the slight anxiety.
Once the nurse was finished with her, we were led into an exam room.
"There's a gown for you to change into, and Dr. Banner will be with you very soon," the nurse said with a knowing smile. I was starting to wonder if everyone here knew of us, especially since we were here so early.
I helped Esme change into the gown and draped her clothing over the chair I was supposed to be sitting in. If I had anything to do with it, I wouldn't be leaving her side and my hand wouldn't be leaving hers.
As we waited, I gently coaxed Esme's head to rest against my chest as she wrapped her arms around me. I ran my fingers through her hair, kissing her head soothingly.
"Are you afraid, sweetheart?"
She shrugged. "A little. What if the test was wrong? What if this isn't real? What if—"
"Sweetheart, I've never known of a test to have a false positive." I had to interrupt. She needed reassurance now more than ever. "Plus, let's look at your signs. No period since when…September? Your beautiful breasts are slightly larger and definitely more sensitive. And your abdomen has a slight bump, and it's very firm. Now, if those signs don't equal pregnancy, then I have no idea what does."
She giggled at my assessment and relaxed. "Thank you for calming me down. You always know just what to say."
"No problem, sweetheart. Now—" I was cut off by a knock at the door which made us both smile. "Now, I'm hoping Dr. Banner is going to tell you the exact same thing."
I stepped to the side just as the door opened and Dr. Banner entered, wearing a large smile.
"Good morning, young Cullens," she announced, closing the door behind her as Esme and I both rolled our eyes. She liked to make age comments all the time even though she was only a couple of years older than me. I understood the point she had been trying to make. She wanted us to understand that we were young and healthy and had no reason to believe that a pregnancy wasn't possibly. Now we could see that she was obviously right.
"So what brings you two here to my office so early in the morning?" she asked as she sat on her rolling stool and opened Esme's file on her lap.
"Well…I think I might be pregnant," Esme said softly, and I squeezed her hand.
"All right then. Why don't you tell me why you have these suspicions?" Dr. Banner winked at me, making it clear that she had suspicions of her own.
Esme went through her list of symptoms, and Dr. Banner nodded at each one, not seeming the last bit surprised or worried.
"So your home test was positive?" Dr. Banner asked to clarify.
"Yes," Esme said, nodding. "I didn't take any others because I thought one positive was enough."
"More than enough," she agreed. "Now let's get a little technical. First day of your last full period?"
"I looked back, and I'm pretty sure the last time was September 7th or 8th," Esme explained. "But that just seems so long ago."
"That is quite a few weeks, but let's not worry about that right now. You could have conceived any time since then. But if you did conceive in September, it would have been around the 21st or 22nd. Does that sound possible? That was a Friday and Saturday."
Esme squeezed my hand and looked up at me. "Our anniversary trip," she said, biting her lip.
My eyes widened slightly as I turned back to the doctor. "Very, very possible," I said with a nod, only to receive a slap from my wife.
Dr. Banner laughed as she wrong down the information. "I almost forgot how much fun you two were. So September is very possible.
"Okay, then," she said as she stood up to wash her hands. "Let's get the uncomfortable part out of the way so we can see what's going on."
Once she had gloves on, she sat back on the stool and rolled over to the exam table. "Okay, you know the drill," she said as she started to get everything ready.
I helped Esme get situated with her feet in the stirrups and her bottom at the edge of the table. I then took my position up by Esme's head as I continued to hold her hand. I talked softly to her through the exam, hoping to distract her. It seemed to work for the most part, but there were still moments where she squeezed my hand tightly and winced.
Since Esme had just had an annual visit back in the summer, the exam didn't take too long, and Dr. Banner was soon taking her gloves off and letting Esme sit up.
"You two make my job fun, if you didn't know that already," she said, shaking her head playfully. "So normally, we would do a urine test to confirm the pregnancy as well as a blood test and possibly a transvaginal ultrasound. But since you two have to be different, I think I'm going to have you get dressed and head over across the hall for a sonogram. We should be able to get a good look and see how many we're dealing with as well as get a good calculation for the due date."
"So, I'm pregnant?" Esme blurted out. "Really pregnant?"
Dr. Banner nodded and reached over to lightly press on her abdomen again. "Yes, I would say that you are really and truly pregnant. Congratulations, Mommy and Daddy!"
I almost expected Esme to burst into tears upon hearing the news because that's what I felt like doing, but she surprised me.
"And we get to see the baby today? Like right now?"
"Like right now…well, assuming that you can redress quickly."
Esme was off the table like a flash, and Dr. Banner just laughed and promised to meet us over there before leaving the room.
"Slow down a bit, Es," I said, chuckling as she didn't get much accomplished with her rapid pace. She finally stopped and took a deep breath before continuing.
When she had everything, we walked across the empty hallway to the different room. Dr. Banner was already there as well as the ultrasound technician who instructed Esme to lie on the table.
Once Esme was settled with her shirt pulled up to her breasts and her pants slightly folded down and draped with a cloth, the technician squirted the gel out which made Esme shiver.
"Sorry if it's cold," the girl said with a sympathetic smile.
Esme smiled. "It's perfectly fine, just a little unexpected. I haven't done this in over four years."
I pulled a chair over as close as I could get to my wife, and placed kisses all over her hand that I was still holding.
As the technician placed the transducer against the gel, I was tempted to lean over to look at the screen that was facing away from us, but I refrained.
Dr. Banner and the tech didn't say much, just nodded and pointed things out on the screen as they pressed buttons and adjusted the transducer. After what seemed like days, Dr. Banner finally spoke.
"Well, it seems like your September fun did indeed make a baby. Based on the measurements, I would say that you're 15 weeks now with a projected due date of June 18th. Congratulations again, guys." She turned the screen, and Esme and I both gasped.
I had expected to possibly see a little blob, but no. Even without an explanation, it was so easy to see a profile with little eyes, nose, and mouth. It was amazing.
"Wow," I whispered, not knowing what else to say.
"As you can see, we have a head here with eyes, nose, mouth, and chin. And now we've got the arms and legs…and the spine. Next visit, we should be able to find out the sex if you want to know. It might have been possible to tell today, but you've got a modest little one in there keeping those legs closed."
I watched in awe as these two women went through, explaining every part of our child as they came to it. I realized I was squeezing Esme's hand a bit too tightly, but she wasn't complaining. She was watching the screen with rapt attention as tears silently streamed down her face. This moment was indescribably amazing.
"The heart rate is excellent," the doctor continued. "152 beats per minute is perfect for this stage. And give her just a second and…"
All of a sudden, a beautiful whooshing sound filled the room.
"And we'll let you hear it."
Esme let out a loud sob as we heard out baby's heart beat for the first time. It sounded so strong…so alive.
I leaned down and began kissing Esme's tears away. "Sweetheart, there's a little one living inside of you. We're hearing life that we made."
A few tears escaped my eyes, and she reached up to wipe them away. "I love you," she whispered.
"And I love you…both of you."
The technician finished the sonogram and even gave us a few print outs as well as permission to make as many copies as we wanted. We were definitely going to need them.
Once Esme was free of gel, we followed Dr. Banner to her office and sat in chairs in front of her desk.
"The exciting part is over, I'm afraid," she sighed in mock disappointment as she sat in her office chair. "We'll just have a quick chat, and then you can be on your way home. Any questions or concerns?"
"I have some," Esme spoke up. "I didn't even suspect I was pregnant until three days ago so I haven't been doing anything special. Is the baby okay?"
"The baby looks perfectly healthy," Dr. Banner assured us. "You should start taking a prenatal vitamin now which I'll give you a prescription for, but you eat healthy, right? Drink plenty of water? Most foods are enriched with so many vitamins that there really isn't a whole lot to worry about, at least for you."
"But what about coffee? I've been drinking a cup every day."
Dr. Banner shrugged and nodded. "Every doctor is different when it comes to caffeine regulation. For me, I would say to avoid it as much as possible, but one cup of coffee a day really won't hurt you right now. If possible, switch to decaf or drink something else. Sound good?"
Esme nodded, but her questions continued. "Okay, you know I have a four-year-old and two two-year-olds, and I carry all of them frequently. Please don't tell me to stop."
If possible, we would have won the award for making a doctor laugh the most in one appointment because Dr. Banner laughed again.
"Oh, Esme. I would never do that," she said between chuckles. "Your children would hunt me down. As long as you're comfortable, go ahead and carry them, but at least limit it to one at a time. You're definitely not the first women to have to juggle this, and you won't be the last. Since you've been doing it this long, it won't hurt to continue. Just know your limits."
"What about you, Dr. Cullen," she said, turning to me. "Do you have any questions or concerns or are you still in shock?"
I tried to think of any other concerns but couldn't. "I'm still slightly shocked, yes, but I think everything has been addressed. I'll be sure to write down any I think of for next time."
"And speaking of next time, how does four weeks sound? You're just starting your second trimester so we'll continue this schedule for a while."
Just then, I thought of something.
"This isn't a high risk pregnancy, is it?" I asked cautiously, and Dr. Banner shook her head.
"Not at all. You're both young, no health problems, no previously known miscarriages…nope, you're completely fine. In fact, you've missed most of the prenatal tests we would do, but I'm not worried. You can still have an amniocentesis done if you want, but there's really no reason. Also, since you're in the second trimester, the risk of miscarriage is drastically lower. You basically completely sailed through the most volatile part of this pregnancy."
"Everything's fine?" Esme asked.
Dr. Banner smiled softly and reached over to take Esme's hand. "Everything is fine. Within the next few weeks, I expect you to see a drastic change in appearance. I'm amazed that you've stayed so tiny for this long. Baby growth is perfect, though, so get ready to pop out."
"When should we be able to feel the baby?" I asked. I couldn't wait to be kicked during one of our little chats.
"Esme will probably begin feeling it soon, possibly right before our next visit. It will be a little longer for you to feel it on the outside, but it will fly by.
"If you don't have any more questions, let's get urine and blood samples before making that appointment," she said before standing.
As Esme stood, Dr. Banner pulled her into a tight hug.
"Thank you," Esme whispered. "I'm so glad you'll be here to help us."
"I wouldn't want any other doctor to take care of my favorite patient," she responded with a slightly rough voice. "You have no idea how happy I was when you called this morning. I knew it would happen for you. You two are just incredible."
"Thank you," I said sincerely, reaching out to shake her hand. "I wouldn't trust the care of my wife to just anyone, but you have my complete trust."
"Good," she said, nodding firmly. "I'll do everything I can to make sure this is a smooth ride. Congratulations, yet again. I'll see you in four weeks."
The rest of the visit passed in a blur, mostly because we couldn't tear our attention away from the printed pictures of our baby. The baby was so small and yet so perfect, and I couldn't wait to meet him or her.
As we drove home, the mood was no longer tense or uncertain. Now, we had confirmation…so much confirmation that this was real. Not only was it real, everything was also fine. We had much to be grateful for and much to share.
The next hurdle to face was telling our family. But with our trip to Alaska happening in two days, we definitely wouldn't be short of opportunities. I had a feeling that being able to share our joy would somehow be even better than keeping it to ourselves.
For now, I was content to drive with my hand over Esme's abdomen and her hand over mine, knowing that our child was comfortable, safe, and thriving.
A/N: First things first. FFn has slightly changed the way review replies work. In order to receive a reply, you MUST sign in before you review, as always, and now you MUST have PMs turned on. So if you didn't receive a teaser with this last chapter, it's probably because of one of those reasons.
Now to explain my fail. There were many reasons for the huge delay, but I'll just pick two to save you from an even longer A/N. ;)
The first reason being my beta's birthday. I wrote a one-shot just for her called Maybe It Was Memphis, and it is now posted. Go check it out if you haven't already.
And the biggest reason for my fail is that I got a job…well sort of. For the past two weeks, I've been a nanny for my cousins, and wrangling three kids doesn't exactly provide much time for writing. I only had two days to prepare for this trip, so I couldn't offer any warning about the posting delay. But since I'm going home in less than a week, there shouldn't be any more huge posting delays.
Thank you again for your patience and for continuing to read.
Reviewers will receive teasers. =)