Thank you so much for the sweet reviews. We're about to hit another huge milestone number, and I just can't thank each of you enough!
I also can't thank my beta MelissaMargaret enough for making this pretty.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or these characters. Or the song lyrics. I've been saving this one. ;)
Song for chapter: Father and Daughter by Paul Simon
I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loves his daughter more than I love you.
Carlisle POV
I had never had any issues separating my roles of doctor, husband, and father before, but I definitely was now.
Right after we returned home from Alaska, Esme and the children contracted a virus. Since I was the only one without symptoms, I became the caretaker. With anyone else, this wouldn't have been a problem, but it was extremely difficult to try to assume my doctor role without worrying too much like the husband and father in me wanted to do.
My suspicion was that it was an influenza virus we had probably been exposed to in one of the airport. That fact alone worried me more than anything.
Since Esme was pregnant, she was at risk for complications. Dr. Banner had been called right away, and she managed to calm some of our worries. She assured us that as long as Esme's fever remained low and she stayed hydrated and well rested, everything would be fine.
We also worried about Rosalie because of her asthma. Any respiratory issues were bad news for her, but Peter wasn't worried yet. He simply recommended plenty of fluids and for us to keep a close eye on her to make sure she wasn't having any difficulty breathing. She was miserable, though, and it was difficult for me to watch.
Emmett and Jasper were handling better, not letting any kind of illness slow them down. They loved having a box of tissues at their disposal, and even though I knew most of them weren't being used for their intended purpose, I didn't stop their fun. Being stuck on the couch or in bed with fever and aches just didn't work for our active boys. They always had to be doing something, but it was a relief to see them remain in high spirits.
Overall, I was very thankful to have good doctors - who weren't me - on our side. They were always supportive of us, even with the smallest concern. Dr. Banner and Peter gladly answered any call and even called us several times to make sure everything was fine.
After two days, Esme seemed to be feeling much better, but she wasn't back to her normal self quite yet. She was resting as much as possible, but it wasn't enough for her to keep up with the boys.
Since Emmett and Jasper had bounced back so quickly, we sent them to Carmen and Eleazar's after they returned from church. They volunteered to keep them for the night which gave me time to focus on my girls.
"'Your girls, huh?" Esme muttered as we sat together on the couch. Even congested, her voice was beautiful. "And what are you going to do with us now?"
"Well first, I'm going to feed my girls," I answered, kissing her temple. "What would you like?"
"Ugh, you know nothing sounds good," she whined.
"Carmen left some chicken soup in exchange for the boys. Would you like some of that?"
She tried to snort, but it came out as a cough. I rubbed her back until she could talk again. "Carmen traded some soup for my sons? Should I be offended?"
Her joke made me smile and showed how much better she felt. "I think the quality of the soup would determine that."
Unfortunately, my answering joke made her laugh which caused another fit of coughing. Once she calmed again, I passed her some tissues and her bottle of water before standing.
"I'll warm some soup, and we'll see what happens, okay?"
She nodded and closed her eyes as she leaned her head against the couch.
I made my way to the kitchen, stopping briefly to run my hand over Rosalie's forehead. She was spread out on the other end of the couch taking a much needed nap. We had been controlling her fever naturally as much as possible, but she was feeling extra warm now which meant a dreaded date with the thermometer.
Once in the kitchen, I warmed the soup and prepared two bowls as well as a sandwich for myself. I left one bowl in the kitchen for whenever Rosalie woke up and put everything else on a tray along with some crackers and drinks and carried it into the family room.
Esme and I ate a quiet lunch together, and I was very happy to see her finish her bowl of soup and a whole bottle of water.
"So was it worth it?" I asked and laughed as she hummed and nodded.
"It was really good soup, so I think so. Baby approves, too." She rubbed her hand over the still undefined bump, and I placed my hand over hers for a few seconds before standing.
I took our used dishes back to the kitchen and cleaned my mess. When the room was how I'd found it, I returned to Esme.
"So how are you feeling now?" It was only the fifth or sixth time I had asked since we had woken up, and I admired Esme's ability to not roll her eyes at me.
"I'm fine. Yes, I'm sure. Yes, I'm comfortable and only slightly achy. And no, I don't need anything. Except maybe a blanket. Can you get that for me?"
I laughed and nodded. "Of course, sweetheart." I grabbed one of our soft throws from the back of the recliner and covered her with it. "How's that?"
"That's perfect," she sighed. "Thank you, Carlisle. I love you."
"I love you, too, sweetheart. Thank you for being such an easy patient." I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead which thankfully wasn't too warm.
As Esme settled in for a nap, I used my time to straighten the house. I hated the idea of Esme having extra work when she felt better, so I did the best I could. The biggest issue was the laundry, and even though I wasn't as efficient as Esme, I kept it from piling up. Once I placed a load in the washer, I headed back to the family room to wait for Rosalie to wake.
I didn't have to wait long for her to begin stirring, and as she woke, I knelt beside the couch and brushed the hair from her face.
"Hey, baby girl," I whispered as her eyes fluttered open. "Did you have a nice nap?"
She nodded as she stretched and took a deep breath, but her breath triggered the coughing. I frowned as she struggled to catch her breath as her coughing continued. Seeing her hurt made me hurt, but there wasn't much I could do to stop it. This virus had to run its course.
When she could finally breathe again she whimpered, which broke my heart even further.
"I'm so sorry, baby girl. I'll get you some juice and something to make that cough go away, okay?"
She nodded and rubbed her eyes as she tried to breathe around her pacifier. Apparently it was also good for soothing her when she was sick even if it made things more difficult with her congestion.
As she continued to wake, I headed to the kitchen, filled a sippy cup with juice, and filled a syringe with some cough syrup. The cough wasn't necessarily a bad thing under normal circumstances, but with Rosalie's case, we didn't want it to cause an asthma attack. Peter and I had discussed it and agreed that giving her a small dose was better than the alternative.
When I returned with the items, I found that Rosalie had scooted over next to Esme and was now sitting upright. She frowned when she saw what I was holding, but she knew what to do by now. I held the syringe to her lips, and she obediently removed her pacifier and opened her mouth.
"Good girl," I said as she swallowed, grimacing the whole time. "I know it doesn't taste good, but here's your juice." I passed her the cup and she drank quickly.
After another quick trip to the kitchen, I returned, this time bringing the thermometer with me. This received another frown, but I was expecting that as well.
"Daddy needs to check your temperature now. We'll make it really fast." She said nothing as she tilted her head to the side, giving me access to her ear.
It was amazing to me that she allowed me to be this close to her, even acting as a doctor. There was no fear present on her face, only slight irritation. Rosalie really did trust me, as Esme had been assuring me. I wasn't sure how far this trust went, but every time I tested it, I only received positive reactions. Not that Rosalie liked what I was doing, but the boys didn't either. The most important thing in my eyes was that she wasn't afraid. That was a huge step for us.
A few seconds later, the thermometer beeped, and thankfully it showed only a slight fever. It wasn't dangerous, so as long as she was comfortable, nothing needed to be done.
"Are you hungry, baby?" I asked and smiled when she nodded. "Nana made some soup. Do you want some?" She nodded again, so I made yet another trip to the kitchen. The one thing I was getting from this virus was a workout.
I brought out the soup and more crackers and sat beside her to help her eat. She was fatigued which made even feeding herself difficult, so I patiently fed her one spoonful at a time until she ate the whole bowl. Her dependence on me was something I loved and hated at the same time. I loved being able to help her, but I hated that she felt so bad.
When she finished, she cuddled up to Esme's side, content just being next to her mommy.
The rest of our afternoon and evening was spent similarly. Esme and Rosalie napped on and off, and I made sure they had everything they wanted or needed to be comfortable. We called to check on the boys a couple of times, but it really wasn't needed. They were having a great time with Carmen and Eleazar, doing everything they weren't allowed to do at home that would disturb their mother and their sister.
Before going to bed, I had Esme and Rosalie sit in the bathroom with the hot shower running, hoping the steam would help with the cough and congestion without using medication. It seemed to do its job, and Rosalie was able to fall asleep almost as soon as Esme tucked her in.
After Rosalie was sleeping, Esme and I didn't waste any time crawling into our bed. We left our door open as well as Rosalie's, in addition to using the baby monitor just in case she needed anything.
With the house quiet except for Esme's light snoring, sleep came easily. Taking care of a sick family was more tiring than going to work, but it was also more rewarding. I loved taking care of strangers, but taking care of my own was just somehow better.
Unfortunately, the peaceful night didn't last very long.
Rosalie's coughing through the baby monitor woke me. I remained in bed, waiting for the fit to pass, but it didn't. Her coughing continued, and as soon as she started gasping for air, I was on my feet and rushing toward her room.
As soon as I entered the room, I flipped the light switch which I knew startled her, but I only had one goal. Grabbing her inhaler from the dresser, I quickly moved to the bed and sat beside her. I shook the inhaler, connected it to the other pieces, and immediately placed the face mask over her mouth and nose as I released the medicine.
"Just breathe, baby," I said in a voice that was somehow much calmer than I felt. "Just breathe. It's okay."
We had never had to use the inhaler before, but Rosalie didn't push it away. She was trying to do as I said but couldn't take a deep breath.
When I was sure she had inhaled as much of the medication as possible, I dropped the inhaler to the bed so I could pull her into my lap. But as I was about to reach for her, she started crawling toward me. I froze for a second as she climbed into my lap, placing her back against my chest and reaching for my hand.
After she placed my hand on her chest, I knew exactly what she was doing. She remembered doing this before with Esme, and I had to smile at how smart she was.
"Good job, sweetheart," I said softly. "Good job. Now, breathe with Daddy, okay?"
She nodded, and then we both focused on breathing. She tried to match her breathing with mine, and as she began to succeed, I began to relax. This was only the second time we had been through this, and while it had been two times too many, at least we were better prepared to deal with it.
A few minutes later, her breathing was much closer to normal, and I shifted until my back was against the headboard of the bed. Once I was comfortable, I just held my daughter, not wanting to let her go. The image of her gasping for air wouldn't leave my mind, and the only thing I could think to do was hold her close as I thanked God for keeping her safe.
We stayed in the same position until Rosalie shifted to face me.
"Daddy?" she whispered, coughing again slightly.
"What is it baby?" I rubbed her back gently to try to prevent another coughing attack. We didn't need to go through that again.
"Daddy, I see Mommy? Peas?"
"Of course, sweet girl. We'll go find your mommy right now." I pulled her into my arms without another thought and stood up. Walking out of the room, my brain finally registered the fact that I was holding Rosalie, but I didn't stop. She wanted her mommy, and there was no way to know how long she would be comfortable around me. Keeping her calm was now the most important thing.
Esme was sitting up in bed with the light on when we entered the room. She was visibly distressed after hearing us through the monitor. With Rosalie safely in her arms, she looked better but still worried.
"What do we do now?" she whispered to me, and I shrugged.
"I think she'll be fine, but I would feel better if I took her to see Peter just to be sure."
"Do you want me to call him?"
I nodded. "Please. I'm pretty sure he's working tonight, but it wouldn't hurt to make sure. And see if Charlotte's working, too. We'll need her."
While Esme called the hospital, I went downstairs to pack a bag of everything we would need to spend part of the night in the emergency room. I made sure to pack a sippy cup of juice and several of Rosalie's favorite books. Upstairs, I grabbed her favorite blanket and returned to the master bedroom.
Esme was sitting at the end of the bed, brushing Rosalie's hair and talking softly to her. I quietly entered the room, grabbed some clothes out of the closet, and went into the bathroom to change. When I was ready, I stood in the doorway, sighing as I watched my girls. It wasn't surprising that Rose had to have her hair styled to her liking before we left. I wouldn't have expected anything less out of her even while sick.
"I think she's almost ready," Esme said as she placed a kiss on Rosalie's forehead. "She just needs a coat and some shoes. Do you have everything else?"
I nodded and held up the bag. "I think so. So does she know…?"
"She does," Esme confirmed with a small smile before turning to Rosalie. "You're going to be a big girl for Daddy, aren't you?"
Rosalie looked from Esme to me, and I was surprised to see that she didn't look upset. Her eyes held some fear, but it wasn't a fear of me. This was a fear of the unknown she would face at the hospital, but I needed her to know that I would keep her safe.
"C'mere, baby," I murmured, holding my arms out slowly. She carefully leaned forward and allowed Esme to pass her to me. I held her gently so I wouldn't scare her, but she seemed to be fine in my arms. "I've got you, Rosalie. You're okay, baby girl."
I willed her to believe my promise and to know that she would be okay. This was a huge moment for us—a huge test of Rosalie's trust in me. A part of me hated that the first time she let me hold her was out of obligation, but I had to remind myself that I was holding her nonetheless.
Esme helped me find Rosalie's coat and shoes, and once she was bundled up, we loaded her into the car along with the prepared bag.
Before Esme returned inside, I pulled her into my arms. I held her tightly as I tried to gather strength from her. My wife was always incredibly strong, and I was going to need the same kind of strength to be everything Rosalie needed me to be while at the hospital.
"I love you," I whispered into her hair.
She squeezed me even tighter and placed a kiss on my chest. "I love you too. And don't worry too much. I'm sure everything will be fine. Peter and Charlotte know to be ready for you."
"And you'll be okay here? Try to rest for me, please." It wasn't realistic to think that Esme would be going back to sleep any time before we returned, but she really did need the rest.
She hummed in amusement and squeezed me once more before stepping back. "I promise I'll try my best to not even leave the bed while you're gone. How's that?"
"Sounds perfect," I said with a smile.
As Esme headed inside, I quickly got in the car before Rosalie could notice that she was gone.
I drove as quickly as possible without risking our safety and talked softly to Rosalie to keep her awake. She was tired from the attack, but she would need to be awake at the hospital. I didn't like the idea of waking her, so I talked. Even without her response, I knew she was listening, and my voice calmed her.
We arrived at the hospital, and I parked in my spot before gathering Rosalie into my arms and grabbing the bag. Once inside, Rosalie wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and hid her face, refusing to even look around.
"Everything's okay, sweetheart," I whispered into her ear. "Daddy's got you." I rubbed her back to try to soothe her fear, but it didn't help. I hated having to bring her here, but it was for the best. Esme and I would both rest easier knowing that she really was all right.
Filling out the necessary paperwork was difficult with Rosalie holding on to me for dear life, but I managed with the help of the triage nurses. I worked with them regularly, so they knew how careful everything needed to be for Rosalie. And since the emergency room was practically empty on a Sunday night, the process moved along efficiently.
As soon as the paperwork was complete, we were immediately called back and taken to one of the cubicles. Normally, a nurse would have taken vital sighs in another area first, so I appreciated how prepared they were for us. The rocking chair that was waiting for us in the small area was also a blessing.
I sat and rocked Rosalie as the nurse sneakily recorded her vital signs. I would have laughed at her stealth ways, but I didn't want to disturb Rosalie. There was no doubt that she knew what was going on, but by not calling attention to any of it, she wasn't panicking.
Seeing all the normal results relieved some of my worry. There was nothing wrong with her blood pressure and the oxygen level in her blood was good as well. Even her temperature was only slightly elevated but not any more than it had been earlier. The biggest issue was with her respiration, specifically her tight airways.
When the nurse finished, she informed me that Peter would be with us soon and left the room silently.
Rosalie finally began to relax just a little after realizing we were alone. But when Peter entered the room with her chart, she tensed once again and squeezed my neck almost to the point of choking.
"So what do we have here?" he asked with a smile. He was trying to make Rosalie feel as at ease as possible, but his efforts were less successful than mine.
"We just had a little scare," I explained as I patted Rosalie's back. "Did Esme tell you everything that happened?"
He nodded. "But I'm not too worried about it since they all have that virus. You haven't had to use her rescue inhaler before this, have you?"
"No," I said, shaking my head slightly. "We haven't had any issues with her asthma since last summer when we came in."
"Then I'll stand with my opinion. We won't change how we're handling the asthma since this is an extenuating circumstance. But for now, I'll get Char to come in so I can take a listen to see what's going on. Is that okay with you, sweetheart?"
Rosalie didn't react to Peter's questions, but her head did pop up once she heard Charlotte enter the room.
"There's my sweet Rose," she said as she walked over to stand beside us. "Do you feel bad, sweetheart?" Rosalie nodded but didn't comment or move away from me.
I had wondered if Rosalie would prefer sitting with Charlotte over sitting with me, but with her fierce grip, I had my answer.
Even with the situation, Peter and Charlotte couldn't stop smiling as they worked together to listen to Rosalie's heart rate and lungs. I rolled my eyes at them, but I wanted to smile, too. Having Rosalie in my arms was as amazing as I had imagined it to be. I could only pray that her trust would continue after tonight.
The last thing that needed to be done was to get a measure of Rosalie's lung function. By some miracle, Charlotte was able to get her to cooperate without her pacifier and breathe into the tube. The reading was better than I had anticipated, showing that her lungs were functioning fairly well even with the constriction.
After the examination was complete, Peter filled out her chart before turning to me.
"All right, as you could see, her lungs aren't in terrible shape right now. I did hear some wheezing, and her airways are still constricted, but she's not in any danger tonight. As her body fights the virus, the congestion will clear, but you already know this.
"Have you been giving her cough syrup?" he asked, and I nodded.
"I gave her some earlier today, but I guess I should start giving her some before bed."
"That's a good idea," he confirmed. "She'll be able to sleep better and shouldn't have another spasm.
"Now, I'm going to recommend some steroids just to help her lungs a little and a breathing treatment like we did last time. Oh and while you're here, we'll go ahead and give her some fluids as well. She doesn't appear to be dehydrated, but better safe than sorry. Sound good?"
I agreed with his assessment, and he left the room which I knew was to help Rosalie feel comfortable. We really were blessed to have a friend and doctor like him.
Charlotte placed some numbing cream on Rosalie's hand before gathering her supplies, and I wasn't looking forward to what was coming next. It didn't help matters that Rosalie knew what was going on and started crying long before Charlotte was even ready to insert the IV.
When Charlotte did roll her stool over and take Rosalie's hand, her cries turned even more desperate. All I could do was try to comfort her and hope the numbing cream Charlotte had just wiped off would work.
"You're doing so good, baby girl. So good," I praised, holding her tightly against me. She moved her free hand down to grab my shirt as Charlotte held her other one.
I watched as Charlotte expertly inserted the needle into a vein, and Rosalie's cries didn't change, showing she didn't really feel anything. In record time, the steroid injection was over and Charlotte had the saline drip set up with everything taped and ready to go.
"All right, angel. No more owwies for you!" Charlotte announced happily while cleaning up her materials.
I rubbed Rosalie's back as her cries weakened and she was reduced to quiet sniffles against my chest. She finally lifted her head and looked at me with her sad, tired eyes. She then looked down at her hand, and her lower lip began to tremble.
"Owwie," she whispered and pointed to the IV site.
"Mmhmm." I slowly brought her hand up to my lips and lightly kissed the area right below where the needle had gone in. "No more owwies, though, okay? No more."
"Daddy get it out?" she asked hopefully.
I shook my head slowly. "No, baby. Not right now, but we'll get it out soon."
She nodded, and I reached to brush some of the tears from her cheeks. I was amazed when she didn't flinch away from my touch even after everything that had happened. Knowing she didn't blame me for any of the pain that had been inflicted on her provided an enormous sense of relief.
After I dropped my hand, she whined softly before laying her head back against me. I started rocking again, and rubbed her back to get her calm because we weren't finished yet.
"I'll be right back, and then we'll get her situated with the nebulizer so you can go home," Charlotte said as she headed toward the door.
I nodded and turned my attention back to Rosalie.
"Okay, baby. When Charlotte gets back, we'll do your breathing treatment, and then we can go home and go to sleep. Does that sound good?"
She nodded against me. "Sleep in the big bed?" she asked softly.
Her question surprised me. She had never wanted to sleep in the "big bed" before. Esme had slept in Rosalie's bed several times, but she had never asked to sleep in ours like the boys had. I always suspected it was because of me, so it shocked me that she would want to sleep with us now.
I quickly swallowed the now continuous lump in my throat. "Of course, sweetheart. You can sleep in the big bed tonight."
"Kay," she mumbled sleepily and reached her free hand up to rub her eyes.
I managed to snap out of my shock by the time Charlotte came back in the room with the nebulizer. I turned Rosalie around in my lap, and took the pacifier out of her mouth so Charlotte could have better access. I was so proud of her when she didn't cry when the second mask of the night was placed over her mouth and nose.
As we waited for the treatment to finish, I read some of the books I had packed. Rosalie continued being very brave and listened to the stories without complaint, and I made sure to make as many silly voices as possible to cheer her up.
The treatment was finished before we made it through the stack of books, and I removed the mask from her face as Peter and Charlotte returned to the room. Charlotte listened to Rosalie's breath sounds once more, nodded to her husband, and he gave us the official word that we could leave.
We weren't quite finished, though, and I worried. Rosalie had been braver than I had ever dreamed during our whole time in the ER. Even though she had cried during the IV insertion, she hadn't panicked. I just didn't know how she would react when Charlotte took it out.
"Okay, my sweet Rose," Charlotte said as she sat down on her stool and rolled over to us for the last time. "Let's get that icky needle out of your hand so you can go home with Daddy and go to sleep. I think it's past your bedtime!"
I chuckled lightly, trying to work with Charlotte to lighten the mood, but the little girl in my lap wasn't having any of it. She was very stiff as Charlotte held her hand lightly in hers, and I was afraid that she was going to start crying again.
Charlotte gently removed the tape and prepared to pull the cannula out. "All right, sweetie. When I say 'three' I want you to take a big breath for me. Can you do that?"
Rosalie nodded, but firmly gripped my fingers with her other hand. I placed my cheek against her head and rubbed her hand with my thumb.
"Okay. One...Two...Three."
Rosalie did as she was told, but Charlotte had the cannula removed and was applying pressure over some gauze before she could even finish her deep breath. She whined softly, but I soothed her, and she relaxed once she saw that her hand was free of any obstructions. After a princess band aid was in place, I packed up the bag and wrapped the blanket around Rosalie.
"Thank you so much, Charlotte," I said as I hugged her goodbye. She tried to shrug off my thanks, but I really did mean it - in more ways than one. Rosalie was nowhere near comfortable with strangers, and without Peter and Charlotte, it would have been a disaster.
"It was no problem," she responded with a smile. "As soon as everyone is feeling better, let us know because Peter and I want to take all of you out for dinner. I need to see my sweet Rosalie while I'm not working."
I promised we would let them know, and after Charlotte received a goodbye kiss from Rosalie, we headed to the car.
Rosalie snuggled against my shoulder as I walked, and I tried to enjoy every second with her. I was thankful she had allowed me to comfort her while she was scared, but I had no idea what the next day would bring. Even though she was letting me touch and hold her now, there was no guarantee it would always be like this.
The drive home was silent and much more relaxed. We were no longer in a hurry, and Rosalie was content with her pacifier and juice.
When we pulled into the drive way, I noticed all of the downstairs lights were out so I hoped Esme was resting as she had promised.
I carried Rosalie into the house, and I was surprised once again when she didn't ask to be put down. I walked up the stairs and as I passed the bathroom, I realized she had not asked to go to the bathroom at any time while we were at the hospital.
"Do you need to go potty, baby?" I whispered, stopping in the doorway. She nodded so I turned the light on and placed her in front of the toilet. "Okay, you go potty, and I'll be right back to help you with your pull-up."
She nodded again, and I quickly took the bag to her room. I could unpack tomorrow, but my current focus was getting us into bed
I returned to the bathroom and after Rosalie washed her hands, I helped her with her pull-up. Once it was in place, I stood and turned to leave, but instead of following me, Rosalie held up her arms. I could tell how exhausted she was, so I picked her up without a word, turned out the light, and carried her to the bedroom.
Esme had left the lamp on and was sitting up in bed with pillows behind her. Her eyes were closed as she lay with her cell phone in her hand, but as soon as she heard us, she opened them.
I slipped Rosalie's shoes off and placed her on the bed. "Crawl over to Mommy," I said softly. "I'll be right back." She did as I said and immediately crawled over to Esme who was waiting with open arms.
As they had their reunion, I slipped into the bathroom to get ready for bed again. Spending part of the night in the emergency room had worn me out, and I was looking forward to sleeping late.
I finished in the bathroom and crawled into bed, staying silent as Esme spoke softly to Rosalie. Their conversation soon ended, and Esme began humming softly and running her fingers through our daughter's blond curls. It only took a few minutes of humming before I heard her breathing even out.
"So how did everything go?" Esme asked once she was sure Rosalie was asleep.
"Everything was fine," I said as I turned to face her. "Her airways were still a little tight when we got there, but she's much better after some steroids, fluids, and a breathing treatment. You should be so proud of her, Es. She was brave through the whole thing. And it was definitely a lifesaver that Peter and Charlotte were both working tonight."
"Our baby's strong," she said with a small smile. "It doesn't surprise me at all that she was brave. And not to change the subject, but why…how is she in our bed?"
"She asked if she could sleep in the "big bed," and there was no way I could say no. I don't think I'll ever be able to say no to her."
She nodded and began sniffling. "I knew you two would be beautiful together. Seeing you holding her…it's just amazing. Our prayers have been answered."
"Do you really think so?" I asked, reaching over to wipe her tears away.
"I really do, Carlisle. Did she let you hold her at the hospital?"
"She wouldn't let me go," I explained with a soft laugh. "Charlotte was right there, but Rosalie had to be with me. She wanted me."
"Because she trusts and loves her daddy. And don't you believe for one minute that this won't last. You know Rosalie and you know she wouldn't do that. You have your daddy's girl now. I just know it."
Her tone left no room for argument, so I simply nodded. With everything in me, I wanted to believe her, but I couldn't fully do that until the morning. Then I would know for sure how Rosalie felt.
Esme's eyes began drooping after her long speech so I turned out the lamp and leaned over to kiss her.
"Goodnight, sweetheart. And thank you for your words. I love you so much."
"I love you too," she sighed as she snuggled closer to Rosalie and reached for my hand.
I took her hand in mine and squeezed gently before resting them both over Rosalie. After kissing my baby girl's temple, I scooted as close as I dared and soon fell into a deep and much needed sleep.
A light poking woke me, and at first, I assumed it was Jasper. The light filtering through my eyelids wasn't very bright, and I wanted to tell him to go back to sleep.
But Jasper wasn't home. There was a little one in our bed, but it wasn't our son. I quickly opened my eyes only to be met with bright blue ones.
Her curls were messy from sleep, and she was obviously tired and not feeling one-hundred-percent yet, but Rosalie's eyes were happy as she offered me a small smile.
"Good morning, baby girl," I whispered, not wanting to wake Esme. "Did you sleep good?"
She nodded, but didn't move or say anything. I wanted to reach out and give her a hug or a kiss, but I wasn't sure if my contact was welcome. My presence beside her didn't seem to be causing a negative reaction and she had just touched my shoulder, but I wanted to be careful. She would have the lead, as always, and I would respect any boundary she established.
I didn't have much of a chance to think about my decision before Rosalie rolled closer to me and hesitantly snuggled against my chest. I moved my arm so she would be more comfortable and slowly wrapped it around her. When she didn't protest, I tightened my hold, pulling her closer to me.
Her soft sigh as her body relaxed made tears form in my eyes. Even in the morning, Rosalie felt safe with me. She woke me because she wanted to be closer to me. Esme was on her other side, but she chose me. Her daddy.
My mind was a jumble of thoughts that wouldn't end, but I managed to calm them as I drifted back to sleep with my daughter in my arms.
When I woke again, my eyes popped open without force. My body finally felt rested for the first time since our return from Alaska. The room was quiet with no one was asking me for anything, possibly the quietest morning I'd experienced in years.
I started to roll over and stretch, but a certain little body was in my way. A wide smile formed on my face because Rosalie hadn't moved an inch while we were sleeping except to throw her arm over my chest. She was still here beside me.
I lay for a while watching her as she slept. Her breaths were coming much easier than they had been before our trip to the ER. There was some minor wheezing, but it wasn't extremely concerning.
My biggest fear was that she would wake suddenly and be afraid of me, so I remained as motionless as possible, hoping she wake on her own.
I had no idea what time it was, and Esme wasn't in the room to tell me. I carefully turned my head to catch a glace of the clock, not expecting to see that it was already after ten.
As I turned back, I must have moved too much because Rosalie jerked slightly and stretched before yawning. She didn't make it halfway through her deep breath before the coughing began, and I quickly sat up with her to make it easier.
I rubbed slow circles on her back, not stopping even when she could breathe again.
Rosalie wasn't happy with how she woke and whimpered softly as she used both hands to rub her eyes. When she reopened them, she looked up at me sadly and crawled into my lap.
"Daddy…I be better now? Peas?" she asked with a sniffle, leaning her head against my chest.
Her sad little voice broke my heart, and I hated that I couldn't do anything to help. She was more than likely over the worst of this virus, but that wouldn't offer any comfort. She just wanted to feel better.
"I'm sorry, baby," I said, sighing as I kissed her head. "You'll feel better soon. How about we go find Mommy and get something to drink?"
She nodded and turned to wrap her arms around my neck. It wasn't the reaction I expected, but if she wanted me to carry her, there was no way I would deny her.
Finding Esme wasn't very difficult. She was in her usual spot on the couch, but instead of resting, she was folding laundry. I frowned since she wasn't relaxing, but her bright smile immediately erased it.
"Good morning! I was wondering when you two would wake up."
"Good morning, sweetheart," I said as I sat beside her. "How long have you been awake?"
"Since a little after eight. I didn't want to disturb you."
"So you came down here and did laundry?" I asked as I raised my eyebrow.
"I had some toast and juice, too," she scoffed in defense. "And before you say anything else, I'm just folding. I'm feeling better today, and I promise I'm not over-working myself."
I chuckled and nodded. "Okay, sweetheart. I believe you, but at least let me put these away."
She agreed, and I leaned over for a kiss before sitting back as Rosalie moved from my lap to Esme's.
Esme asked Rosalie how she was feeling, and as she coughed through her explanation, I remembered the other reason we came downstairs.
I made a quick trip to the kitchen and brought back some toast and juice for us as well as the cough syrup. Rosalie took her dose like a pro, and I then sat the plate of toast between us. I thought she would want to eat while sitting with Esme, but instead, she climbed back over to me.
Esme glanced at us with happy tears in her eyes, but returned to her folding without saying anything.
Rosalie acted as if sitting in my lap and eating breakfast was normal, as if we did this every day. She finished her toast and was lounging against me before I even finished half of mine. I was almost too stunned to eat, but I was also afraid. Was this our new normal? If it was, did I need to be careful around her? What were our exact boundaries?
Esme must have noticed how lost I seemed and gently placed her hand on my arm, squeezing it to get my attention. I turned my head and encountered one of the most serious looks I had ever seen on Esme's beautiful face.
"Don't doubt this," she whispered. "You can't be wrong. Don't use your time focusing on your thoughts when there's something precious to focus on instead."
As usual, my wife was right. Why waste time thinking when I could be enjoying?
I smiled, kissed Esme in thanks, and finished my breakfast with my daughter in my arms.
Throughout the remainder of the day, I ignored every concern in my head, and it was perfect.
Esme spent her usual time with Rosalie, dressing her and getting her ready for the day. But the rest of the time, Rosalie was with me. She only left my lap when absolutely necessary, but lucky for us, it wasn't necessary very often.
When I did as Esme said and focused on the precious little girl in front of me, everything was easy. Rosalie and I ate lunch together. We read books together. We watched some TV together. With everything that Rosalie wanted to do, I had to be right there with her, and I didn't even have words for how much I loved it.
The only downside was the circumstances. Even though I loved having Rosalie sit in my lap all day, I hated seeing how poorly she felt. There were minor improvements including the absence of a fever, but the fatigue and congestion were only slightly better.
Esme felt much better, though. Her fever was also gone, and she wasn't as achy. I did have to watch her carefully so she wouldn't be doing housework, but she found sneaking around while I napped with Rosalie to be great entertainment. I wasn't mad in the first place, but seeing Esme's happy smile and laugh return completely erased any possible irritation.
Even though Esme was feeling much better, the boys didn't come home. After the ER trip with Rosalie, Carmen and Eleazar wanted to keep them for another night and let us bring them home after our rescheduled family dinner on Tuesday. It was the perfect plan, giving us a chance to focus on Rosalie while the boys were able to still have fun.
After a quiet dinner, Esme went upstairs to take a shower before bed, leaving me to bathe Rosalie. It was another first for us, and I was excited. Unlike the boys, Rosalie was cooperative and enjoyed taking a bath. I sang softly to her as I gently washed her body and hair. Once she was all clean, I lifted her out of the tub and wrapped her in a large towel. Thirty minutes later, she had been dried, lotioned, dressed, and combed to the point where she was a relaxed heap of limbs in my arms.
I carried her to our bedroom and lay down with her as Esme finished dressing for bed. Rosalie refused to lie anywhere but on top of my chest, and that was where she fell asleep, completely comfortable and happy.
When Esme joined us in bed, I held my arm to the side so she would snuggle close to me. She did so willingly, sighing as she made herself comfortable.
"Is she feeling better?" she whispered, placing her hand on Rosalie's back. "She's been so miserable, and I hate that."
"She's fighting it," I assured her. "And yes, I do think she's feeling much better. She's sleeping well right now and hasn't coughed for a few hours. Tomorrow should be a good day."
My prediction for a good day proved to be correct, starting right away.
The three of us woke around the same time and spent a while just lying in bed together. It was perfect, especially with the coughing replaced by giggles. I was able to tickle my daughter for the first time, bringing tears to my eyes. Few things were better than hearing Rosalie giggle and knowing that I caused it.
When we did finally leave the bed, I showered before joining Esme and Rosalie downstairs. We ate breakfast together and since they were feeling better, we thoroughly enjoyed the morning.
The rest of the day, I focused on them, ignoring anything else that might need my attention.
I was going into my third week home from work after only planning for two. Family came first, and I was going to stay home as long as they needed me. I knew my responsibilities to the hospital would eventually catch up with me. There were emails to answer and calls to make, but for now, I didn't care. My wife and children needed my attention, and I was going to give it to them.
Our lazy day came to an end when it was time to get ready for dinner. After I dressed, I waited in the family room as Esme took care of Rosalie. I wanted to do everything I could for Rosalie, but styling hair was not my forte. There was now a chance for future practice, so I had hope that my skills would improve.
It didn't take long for Esme to dress Rosalie, and when she finished, she brought Rosalie to the family room and deposited her into my lap.
"Sit with Daddy while I get ready, okay?" She didn't give Rosalie a chance to protest as returned upstairs, not that Rosalie wanted to protest.
I still hadn't grasped the fact that Rosalie trusted me and even wanted to be close to me. Almost a year had passed, but we were finally there. Finally able to begin the close relationship I had always wanted.
Rosalie turned in my lap to face me and flashed me a grin before reaching up to play with the zipper on my sweater. With a smile on my face, I watched as she moved the zipper up and down, finding fun in the simplest of tasks. When she was finished, she rested her head again my chest and wrapped her arms around me. I returned the hug, and my arms remained around her as we waited for Esme.
"Daddy?" she asked suddenly, sitting up to look at me.
"Yeah, baby?"
"Daddy, you go work morrow?"
I shook my head. "No work for me tomorrow. Do you have to go to work tomorrow?"
She giggled and shook her head, making her curls fly. "Daaaaddy, I no work."
"You don't?" I gasped, smiling as I heard that sweet giggle again. "Well what do you do all day?"
"I pay with Em and J and Mommy."
"That sounds like more fun than working. Can I play with you tomorrow?"
She nodded but furrowed her eyebrows. "But who's gonna make better?"
"Make what better, sweetheart?" I asked, not understanding what she meant.
"You make better at the hopsickle. Go work, make all better." She shifted her legs around and sat up on her knees to look make direct eye contact. "But no owwies, 'kay? Owwies bad."
I nodded slowly, speechless at her request. In one conversation - the longest conversation I had ever had with Rosalie - I gained an amazing insight into how my daughter saw me. Her fear of doctors didn't cloud her views, didn't make her question what I did every day. She knew my job was to make people "better" and to not hurt them. Relief couldn't even begin to describe how I felt.
"I promise to make it better at the hospital again, sweetheart," I said once I found my voice. "But I think I'd rather spend this week with you. Sound good?"
She nodded quickly and threw her arms around my neck. "Yeah, Daddy. You make me better now."
"Do you feel better? Do we need medicine before we go to Nana's?" I brushed my hand over her forehead and down to cup her cheek, but she didn't feel abnormally warm.
She sniffled dramatically, thought for a second, and shook her head. "No, I 'kay."
"Good," I said, chuckling. "I love you, Rosalie." I kissed her cheek and forehead, overjoyed when she received my affection with a beautiful smile.
Twenty minutes later, we arrived at Carmen and Eleazar's house. We were excited about seeing the boys and bringing them home, and as soon as we entered the house, there was no doubt about the boys missing us as well.
"Mommy, Daddy, Rosie, you're here!" Emmett squealed. He ran full speed at Esme, and she knelt down to catch him in one arm and then Jasper in the other when he followed.
"Oh, I missed my boys," Esme said as she covered them in kisses. "Did you have lots and lots of fun with Nana and Pops?"
They answered affirmatively and began chattering away about everything they did. They appeared to be completely recovered from the virus, not even showing signs of the congestion that lingered in Esme and Rosalie.
When they finished with Esme, they both came running over to me. Hugging them both with Rosalie attached to my hip was a challenge, but we managed. She wasn't budging, and I never thought of asking her to. The boys hugged and kissed her as well, and all three of them were clearly happy to be together again.
It didn't take long for Emmett and Jasper to notice what was different.
"Daddy, you're holdin' Rosie," Emmett stated, tilting his head to the side as he looked at us.
I wasn't sure how to answer so I nodded. "Yeah, buddy. I am."
He nodded in return and ran back to Esme, closing the subject completely.
Jasper remained silent about this change, opting instead for me to carry him on my other hip as he watched Rosalie with a worried expression. I had always been sure of their strong bond, but seeing them communicate without words was beyond anything I had ever witnessed. In a matter of seconds, Jasper's worry was erased with Rosalie simply holding his hand.
Seeing the acceptance of this new normal gave me hope that they would be just as accepting of our baby news. Now that the kids were feeling better, we couldn't delay telling them much longer.
Dinner passed as it usually did, only this week, Rosalie sat beside me. Carmen adjusted the seating arrangement as if nothing was out of the ordinary, not showing any recognition of Rosalie's newfound attachment to me.
No one mentioned anything until after dinner.
Carmen kept Esme in the kitchen with her as she cleaned, and my guess was that she wanted the chance to talk about her new grandbaby. She was respecting our decision about telling the kids, but it didn't stop her Baby Cullen enthusiasm.
Eleazar and I were kicked out of the kitchen, so we herded the kids to the den for them to play. Rosalie remained by my side as we played until she finally crawled into my lap and fell asleep. I expected it since her energy hadn't fully returned and she hadn't taken as many naps.
I moved from the floor to the couch, being careful not to wake her. With her cradled in my arms, I continued watching the boys wrestle with Eleazar. A few minutes later, he conceded and gave the victory to them so he could join me on the couch.
"You have her now, huh," he observed casually, glancing toward us before turning back to the boys.
I chuckled, shaking my head. "I think she's the one who has me. Are you not surprised?"
He shrugged. "It was only a matter of time, son. I know you haven't seen it like we have, but your aunt and I have been expecting this. After what she saw at the airport, she knew it would be sooner rather than later."
I thought back to the airport, remembering Carmen's shocked and then excited looks. Eleazar's explanation explained a lot. How did I miss all the signs everyone else saw? I didn't really matter, though. In this case, reaching the destination was more important than the steps of the journey, and we were finally there.
"What do I do now?" I mumbled, mostly to myself.
Eleazar reached over and patted my shoulder. "You be her daddy, just like you've always been. Nothing has changed…well, except now you get to use a more hands-on approach."
I smiled. "Thank you, E. For the support and everything else. This is just…unbelievable, in a way. We wanted this to happen for so long, and now it's like we're getting everything we ever wanted all at once. It's almost overwhelming."
"That's easy to see," he said with an understanding nod. "God certainly works in mysterious ways. For you and Ezzie, your lives have never been easy or expected, but look at where you are now. It was worth it, wasn't it?"
"Without a doubt," I said, nodding.
"Then just enjoy. Don't question every good thing in your life because that will distract you from what's important."
His words were so similar to Esme's, and I knew I would believe them both.
"You know, old man," I said with a teasing smile, "you'll be next." I titled my head toward Rosalie and watched my uncle's smile grow.
"I certainly hope so." He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "One day, I hope this little princess understands how much she's loved. We're all wrapped around her fingers."
I hummed absently in agreement, though I wasn't sure if Rosalie would ever fully understand how much I loved her, not that I needed her to. All I needed was her to love me in return.
But as she opened her eyes, focused on me, and smiled before closing them once more, I was pretty sure she already did.
A/N: Well, this is another chapter I'm sure everyone has been waiting on, so I can't wait to know what you think!
Also, I've written an entry for tiickledpink's Carlisle & Esme Summer Citrus Contest called How Sweet It Is. Be sure to check it out and all the rest of the entries in her community.
Thanks again, and reviewers will receive teasers! =)