To Kilonicycle68:
Yes, yes I will.
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 5
Raging Bully
Candace was busy scrolling through photos of Jeremy when Linda interrupted.
"Candace, my jazz trio has a gig at the Squat and Stitch today," she announced. "Why don't you and the boys hang out at the mall together?"
Candace's eyes lit the moment she heard that. This was an opportunity to see Jeremy, and she wasn't gonna waste it.
Once the family reached the mall, Candace handed Phineas and Ferb five dollars before heading to Mr. Slushy Dawg.
Phineas didn't really care that Candace abandoned him. He had another thing on his mind. "Where's Perry?"
Perry hid behind a vending machine. When no one was around, he put on his fedora and scanned his foot on the machine.
The machine opened, and Perry fell through.
He slid down a small chute… until he stopped midway. He had to get up and walk the rest of the way.
After that embarrassing experience, he sat down to listen to Monogram.
"Sorry about that, Agent P," he apologized. "Our slide waxing guy has jury duty this weekend. Anyhow, Doofenshmirtz has purchased some suspicious items:" The items appeared on screen. "Four helicopter blades, two dozen party balloons, and six thousand light bulbs. He's hiding at the old abandoned cake factory at the edge of…" He realized the items were still on screen. "Carl, the images are still on screen." The items finally disappeared. "Thanks Carl." He then went back to Agent P. "Locate Doofenshmirtz and figure out what he's up to."
Perry stood up and slid down another slide.
At Mr. Slushy Dawg, Candace sat where she could be close to Jeremy. It only took him a second to notice her.
"Hey, Candace" he greeted.
Candace brought out her phone. "My phone seems to be ringing." She pushed the camera button, flashing Jeremy. "Whoops, my camera went off."
Phineas used the five dollars he was given to get an ice cream. He tried to see how fast he could eat it all at once. He managed to eat the ice cream in five minutes, somehow without getting a brain freeze.
"That was an interesting experiment," he remarked.
"Excuse me, but why are you not studying?" asked the kid next to them.
Phineas turned to the kid, who he recognized as the Indian boy that rode the rollercoaster on the first day of Summer.
"Hey," Phineas greeted, completely ignoring what the kid just said. "I haven't seen you around until the rollercoaster. Are you new?"
"As a matter of fact, I am," the kid replied. "The name is Baljeet. As I was saying, why are you not studying?"
"It's summer vacation," Phineas said bluntly. Baljeet just sat there in confusion. "You know, no school, teachers aren't around, and all you have to worry about are bullies."
As if on cue, a bully came in, shoved Baljeet aside, and took his soda.
"Hey Buford," Phineas smiled. "That seat's taken."
"This table's taken," Buford retorted. "Sit somewhere else."
"What about Baljeet?"
"Please go," Baljeet cried. "I will be okay."
Right as he said that, some saliva drooled out of his mouth and touched Buford. He didn't like that. He got up and grabbed Baljeet.
"Hey, leave him alone!" Phineas yelled.
Buford just tightened his grip on Baljeet.
"Hold it, hold it," came a voice.
Everyone turned around to see world heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield in the house.
"Aren't you a little old to be a professional boxer?" asked Phineas.
"Yes, yes I am," Evander replied.
"Cool."
"If you have to fight, do it the time-honored way, out behind the mall at three o'clock."
Phineas turned to Ferb. "How's our three o'clock?" Ferb gave a thumbs-up. "We'll be there."
Buford let go of Baljeet. "Don't be late. My mom's picking me up at four."
Buford walked away.
"It looks like we have something to do today," said Phineas.
"What we have is a one-way flight to destruction," Baljeet corrected. "Remember the last kid Buford fought?" He thought back to the site of a kid getting his head in a toilet and shuddered. "I do not want that happening to me."
"It won't, 'cause I'm gonna train you," Evander assured.
Play "He's a Bully"
The first thing Baljeet did was run up an escalator going down.
Your opponent is as big as an ape
So if you wanna avoid being mangled
Meanwhile, Buford went to the nearby gym, 'Wedgie's: The Gym for Bullies'
Just like him you've got to get into shape
And by shape, I don't mean a triangle
"Hey," Phineas said, offended by that lyric.
Meanwhile, Buford was dunking a fake head in a toilet as practice.
He's big, he's dumb, he's got the IQ of gum
Baljeet started doing pull-ups at a kid's playground.
He's got the brain about the size of a sourdough crumb
Buford practiced wedgying his opponent with a dummy.
He then started to make a mess in the room.
But he'll beat on your head like a big bass drum
His behavior is truly unruly
Baljeet practiced his moves with a nearby dancing game.
He's a bully
Baljeet successfully made it to the top of the escalator.
Yeah, he's a bully
Yeah, yeah, yeah
End "He's a Bully"
Isabella and the Fireside Girls spread flyers for the upcoming brawl at the mall.
Candace saw one of those fliers. While the fighters on the flier weren't Phineas or Ferb, Candace knew they were involved in this somehow.
She went outside and saw the boys building a huge ring.
"What do you two think you're doing?" she asked. "You can't just go building a boxing ring out here in the mall parking lot. I'm telling Mom right now!"
Candace went to get Linda. She passed by Jeremy and made sure to get a picture.
Thankfully, Linda wasn't performing that far from the Slushy Dawg, so Candace didn't have to walk that far. Candace called out to her.
"Not now, Candace," said Linda. "My solo."
Candace sighed. She knew she needed proof. The flier was the first thing that came to mind.
Meanwhile, Perry made it to the cake factory.
The moment he entered, the floor opened and he fell into a large vat of cake batter.
Doofenshmirtz arrived.
"Perry the Platypus," he laughed. "I've trapped you in a giant bowl filled to the brim with Doonkleberry cake mix. You see, today is my birthday." Perry struggled to free himself, but he couldn't budge. "Struggle all you want, but in thirty to forty minutes, the yeast will rise, and you'll be buried alive. You see, Perry the Platypus, I never had a real birthday. I never even got to eat any cake thanks to those awful Doonkleberry bats! Well, that ends today!"
Doof then pushed a button on his remote, unveiling a large screen.
"Behold, the Slave-Inator!" he announced. "The crowd will do whatever the Slave-Inator tells them to do." To demonstrate, he had the screen say, 'CLAP'. Perry did just that. "It even has a 'Clean Up Party Mess' feature, because the worst part about a party is the cleanup, am I right? Farewell, Perry the Platypus, and happy birthday to me!"
Doof activated the propellers on his inator. It lifted into the air and flew away from the factory, leaving Perry behind.
However, Perry came prepared. He went into his fedora and looked through the whistles he brought with him.
When he found what he thought was the right one, he blew it. It was the wrong one. A large white whale burst through the wall.
Perry found the right whistle and blew it, summoning a swarm of bats. The bats ate the batter.
Perry
The match was about to begin.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls!" the announcer announced. "He's from a broken home, he's great at breaking bones, give it up for Buford the Bully!"
Buford emerged from the shadows and made a mischievous smirk.
"In this corner, he's got moves, his grades are great!" the announcer continued. "He just came from another state! It's Baljeet!"
Buford and Baljeet stepped into the ring.
"Alright boys, let's have a fair and square fight," the announcer told them. He then forgot his lines and read them off a flashcard. "'And in no way should the fight contain the image of a potentially harmful, hurtful, or psychologically disturbing physical act that could be found imitable by an impressionable child viewer.'" He then went back to announcing. "Boys and girls, let's get ready to thumb wrestle!"
Buford and Baljeet inserted their thumbs into the little holes of the thumb wrestling ring.
Meanwhile, Candace tried to get another flier from the Fireside Girls.
"Sorry, we're out of fliers," the girls said.
"What about a poster?" asked Candace.
"Sold out?"
"Action figure?"
"No."
"Commemorative coin?"
"All gone."
"Eight-by-ten glossy photo?"
"Those went out like hot cakes."
Candace gasped. A better idea came. "A photo. Yes! Photographic evidence!"
Candace turned around. Behind her, Jeremy was balancing a bunch of corn dogs. She wanted to get a picture, but her phone only had enough room for one more.
Jeremy could wait. Candace needed to bust her brothers.
Perry used the bats to fly onto Doof's inator.
"Perry the Platypus," Doof said. "If you're going to crash my party, you're going to need a party hat. A party hat of doom."
Doof tried to launch a hat, but Perry jumped out of the way. He then grabbed a couple of noise-makers and used them to attack Doof.
"One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!" the crowd cheered.
And the fighters sprung to life. They squared each other.
Baljeet hit the mat. Buford had him right where he wanted.
This one was gonna be brutal.
Perry used these spinny toys while Doof used paddleballs. Perry could only barely block any attacks.
After a while, Perry was hit. He almost fell off the edge, but he grabbed onto the edge.
"Still hanging around?" Doof asked as he tried to force Perry to let go.
A bunch of zeros appeared on the screen. A small crowd was put in a trance.
It wasn't going well for Baljeet. His thumb was aching. Evander had to hand him his water.
"This is hopeless," Baljeet cried.
"Nonsense," Evander assured. "Go for the gold. Fight fire with fire. Shoot him the stink-eye. Grease the pig. I got nothing."
The second round began. Baljeet did manage to dodge a few attacks, but after a while, he got hit again.
Candace showed up in the nick of time. She pointed her camera at the boys and was about to snap the photo…
Then she realized her thumb was in the way. She quickly moved it aside and snapped the photo.
Buford beat Baljeet once more with the dreaded Boston Belt Sander.
Candace returned to Linda the moment she was on break.
"Mom!" she yelled. "Indisputable, photographic evidence of irresponsible, irrefutable behavior!"
Linda looked at the photo for a second.
"Candace, it's just two kids having a thumb war," she corrected.
Candace was running out of patience. She grabbed Linda's hand and led her outside. "You are coming with me!"
"And now, Perry the Platypus!" Doof shouted. "I will smudge your face with ice cream!"
Perry was faster, though. He used the whale whistle to summon the whale from earlier. It knocked the scoop of ice cream off the cone.
It was pure chaos. Buford grabbed Baljeet's thumb and pulled him right through the thumb ring.
Baljeet was then thrown into the corner. Buford was about to finish the job when…
A scoop of ice cream fell onto his head.
The crowd laughed at the site. It was just pure horror for Buford. He ran away, doing his best to hide his tears.
But Baljeet saw them. He realized Buford was deeply hurt by this, and he wanted to help him.
Doof backed away in fear. He was completely shocked seeing that whale come out of nowhere.
In his panic, he accidentally hit one of the propellers, knocking it to the side.
The propeller broke off. Doof saved his cake and grabbed the propeller.
"Goodbye Perry the Platypus!" he laughed. "At least I still have my cake!" Right as he said that, a swarm of bats surrounded him. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"
Agent P
The Slave-Inator landed in the ring. The words, 'Clean Up Party Mess' appeared on the screen. This hypnotized the crowd to clean the place up.
Baljeet found Buford crying in a corner. Despite Buford's behavior, Baljeet couldn't help but feel bad. Seeing Buford right now was all he needed to know. He was just a scared child that wanted to look strong in front of everyone.
Baljeet approached Buford and tried to comfort him.
When Buford saw him, he got angry.
"You, you made me look like a fool in front of everyone!" he shouted.
Baljeet wanted to cheer Buford up. It only took him a second to figure out how he would do that.
Baljeet grabbed some of the ice cream on Buford's head, and stuck it onto his own clothes.
"There," he said. "Now we both look stupid. Even Stevens?"
Buford was genuinely shocked. No one had ever acted this way towards him. However, at the end of the day, he felt better knowing his enemy looked stupid too.
"Even Stevens," Buford replied as he shook Baljeet's hand.
After that, Buford and Baljeet met up with Phineas, Ferb, Evander, and the Fireside Girls.
"Thank you, Mr. Holyfield," Baljeet thanked.
"Yeah," Phineas added. "Wouldn't have had this without you."
"No problem," Evander replied. "Happy to help you boys find a slightly less violent way to settle your differences."
Right after Evander left, Candace and Linda came out.
"See?" Candace shouted as if something huge was there.
"Hi boys," Linda greeted before turning to Candace. "If you'll excuse me, I'm heading back for the second set."
Buford turned to Phineas. "Hey dinner bell, that was the best battle ever. Same thing tomorrow?"
"Nah," Phineas replied. "I like to keep moving forward."
"Sharks need to move forward, or they will drown," Baljeet remarked.
Buford took offense to that. He got up in Baljeet's face. "You calling me a shark?"
This was way too close for either of their liking. Both Buford and Baljeet felt weird being right at each other's faces, to the point where bright blushes appeared on them.
To settle the tension, Ferb pinched Buford in the neck. Buford choked and collapsed.
"Ferb!" Baljeet scolded.
"What?" Ferb reacted as if he did nothing crazy. "He was all up in your face."
Buford sat up. "What happened?"
A.N.
And that was Buford's debut.
Not much changed here.
There was Doof not being that open about his past, like in the previous chapters.
The only other change was Baljeet being the one to face Buford in place of Phineas. I felt it made more sense. This provides a proper establishment of Buford and Baljeet as frenemies.
The little interaction they had after the match, where Baljeet sees Buford's vulnerable side and cheers him up, was inspired by Luz and Amity's interaction after the witch's duel during the Covention.
And yes, I'm gonna pair Buford and Baljeet. If you don't like it, too bad. I'm gonna do it, and no one can stop me.
Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, and review.