Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 9
Crack that Whip
"And that is why the eighteenth century sewing thimble is not only a slice of history, but a compelling example of American grit and perseverance," Lawrence finished telling his story to Phineas, Ferb, Grandpa Clyde, and Grandma Betty.
"That was wonder…" Betty was about to say before falling asleep.
"Mom!" Linda scolded.
Betty bolted awake. "Just kidding. Your speech is gonna be a big hit at the antique thimble symposium."
"It's gonna knock them dead," said Lawrence.
"Which we're gonna be late for if we don't get on the road," said Linda. "Thanks for looking after the kids today. Candace is skating at the park. All numbers are on the fridge. Be good, boys."
"Bye!" Phineas waved.
Once Linda and Lawrence left, Betty turned to the boys.
"Wanna embarrass your sister?" she asked.
"Yeah," Phineas and Clyde said in unison.
Ferb remained silent as always.
All four of them headed to the park.
At the park, Candace was trying to skate. Stacy was skating next to her.
"You got it," Stacy assured.
"Yeah," Candace said. "I can't turn around, but I got it."
That's when they noticed Phineas, Ferb, and Betty skating together with no problem.
"Candace, wanna join?" Phineas asked.
Everyone in the area turned towards Candace. She didn't like this.
"I'm so not with them," she said. "Turn me around, Stace."
Stacy turned Candace around, and they both skated away.
"Grandma, where'd you get the moves?" Phineas asked Betty.
"Well, boys, I was quite the skater in my…" Betty was about to explain. That's when she ran into someone, knocking her down. "Watch where you're…" Betty turned and gasped at the woman she bumped into.
"Betty Jo of the Tri-State Bombers?" the second woman asked.
"Hildegard of the Saskatoon Slashers?"
"I thought I smelled the last of you back in '57, when I whipped your sorry behind, took the trophy, and became the rightful Queen of the Derby."
"Whoa, you were in a roller skating derby?" Phineas asked.
"Not only was I in it, I was champ," Betty replied. "It was years ago, the night of the final match between the Bombers and the Slashers. We were on our final lap. What was left of my team used our signature move, 'The Whip', to send me to the finish line. Hildegard's team had the same idea. The trophy was mine until…" Betty got angry and turned to Hildegard. "You only won 'cause you cheated!"
"'Anything goes,' remember?" Hildegard reminded.
"What do you say we try it again, cheater?"
"Anytime, anywhere."
"You skate like a buffalo!"
Candace watched the argument from afar. She was confused.
That's when Jeremy skated right next to her. He completely diverted her attention away.
"Hey, Jeremy," she smiled.
"Candace, why is my grandma yelling at your grandma?" Jeremy asked.
Candace was shocked. "That's your grandma?"
Hildegard skated towards Jeremy. "Come on, Jeremy. You and your little sister are on my team. Suzy!"
Suzy appeared next to Hildegard with an innocent smile. "Yes, Grandma?"
"Me, you, and Jeremy are a team, got it?"
At the same time, Betty rounded up Phineas, Ferb, and Candace.
"I need two of you on my team, okay?" she asked.
"You can have Phineas and Ferb, Grandma," said Candace, wanting nothing to do with this.
"But that's not fair, Candace," said Suzy. "Our team has two girls and one boy, so you need to be on your grandma's team so it's fair."
"Then it can be you, Ferb, and Grandma," Phineas decided.
"It's decided," said Jeremy. "We gotta do it for our grandmas, right Candace?"
Candace couldn't say a word, not when Jeremy was talking to her.
"See you on the track, chum," Suzy said, sneaking an evil grin.
"Wait," said Candace. "We have no derby. It was replaced with that tattoo parlor."
"Leave that to us," said Phineas.
Perry set a package down in front of the house, then jumped into it.
A mailman took the box, loaded it into a truck, and sent it to a post office.
There, it got put on a plane, and sent to a post office across the country.
It was then put on a different plane that flew all the way back to Danville.
There, the mailman put the package in a mail slot.
Perry finally landed in his lair under the Flynn-Fletcher household.
"Nice entrance, Agent P," Monogram said. "But you do know the elevator is right there?" He pointed to an elevator at the edge of the room. "Just pointing it out. Anyway, Doofenshmirtz is up to something. I want you to get out there and put a stop to it."
Candace and Stacy walked to the Flynn-Fletcher house.
"I can't do it, Stace," said Candace. "What if we win? Would Jeremy still like me?"
"All I know for sure is boys hate to be beaten by girls," Stacy replied.
"Hey hon," Clyde called from the backyard. "Do you know where your dad keeps the glue gun?"
"Glue gun?" Candace asked, confused.
It took her a second to realize what was happening. She entered the backyard to see a large derby, one that shouldn't even fit in there.
"I knew it. I just knew you'd be up to something by now!" Candace turned to Clyde. "Et tu, Grandpa?"
"I just had one," Clyde assured, thinking Candace was talking about the donut he was eating. "There are more if you want."
"Just wait until Mom hears about this." Candace was about to call Linda.
"Heads up!" a voice called.
Candace saw a helmet flying towards her face. She just barely caught it. Betty skated to Candace and offered her a pair of skates.
"Lace them up, tight, Dearie," she said. "We've got a score to settle. Win! Win! Win!"
Perry snuck into Doof's building through the window. He jumped on the floor, making a little thud. Sadly, it wasn't quiet enough.
Doof turned around. Perry expected the usual, only to see that Doof looked sad.
"Will you cool it with the noise, Perry the Platypus?" he asked. "I have this splitting headache. I was at this evil mixer until late last night. It was crazy. Can you hang out for just one moment?"
Doof pushed a button on the wall. A cage fell on top of Perry with a loud thud.
"Oh, I need a quieter trap," Doof said to himself. "Now that you're trapped, I'll tell you my plan. I'm miserable because I can't grow facial hair. I've tried everything to grow facial hair, it's so painful, I hate people with beards, etc. Guess who they decided to build a statue of right next door? Rutherford B. Hayes, our nineteenth president. Only the president with the best facial hair of all! Look at that thing. There's nothing like a nineteenth century beard, Perry the Platypus. Anyway, that horrible statue must be destroyed as it's a constant reminder of my follicular failure!" Doof whined in pain. "Give me a minute, this hurts me more than it hurts you, literally."
Back at the stadium, Betty went over the plan. "At the final lap, we'll use The Whip to launch the weak skater…" Betty turned to Candace. "No offense, but that's you, over the finish line to victory!"
Candace remembered what Stacy said. "Boys hate to be beaten by girls."
Candace started to fantasize a reality where her team won.
"Candace, have you no mercy?" Jeremy yelled as he hugged his crying grandmother. "Come on Grandma, let's get you home!"
Jeremy carried Hildegard away.
Candace woke up from her little nightmare.
"What am I gonna do?" she asked herself. "I can't beat Jeremy's grandmother, and I can't let my grandmother lose."
Candace failed to notice that Suzy swapped her skates. She put on these new skates, having no idea what Suzy had in store.
"Hello, everyone!" Phineas greeted the audience. "And welcome to today's main event, the 'anything goes' grudge race of the century between Grandma Betty Jo and Grandma Hildegard. I'm Phineas Flynn and I'll be your announcer for the action along with our color commentator, Grandpa Clyde."
"Yellow, green, blue!" Clyde shouted.
"Excellent color, Grandpa."
"Glad to oblige."
"And now, let's rock and roller skate derby!"
Most of the racers were already at the starting line. Candace needed some time to catch up. When she got to the line, she slipped and fell.
"Remember kids, two words, road kill!" Hildegard told her kids.
"Come on, honey," Betty told Candace. "We have butt to kick."
Clyde fired a gun to start the race. He looked away in fear, but the gun just shot out a flag that said, 'BANG!'
"And, they're off!" Phineas announced.
Play "Ring of Fun"
Most of the racers sped off. Candace got up and struggled to catch up.
Betty and Hildegard were neck-and-neck with each other.
When Betty gets loose, everybody get out of the way
Round and round that ring of fun
Candace and Jeremy skated next to each other. Jeremy was just happy to be here, while Candace struggled to stay on her feet.
'Cause she's lacing her boots up at 4:00 AM today
Round and round that ring of fun
Grudge match grannies you got nothing to lose
Grey-haired lightning wearing knee pads and boots
Cruising for a bruising, and you know they got a real short fuse
Ferb got ahead for a second, only for both grandmas to skate right past him.
Suzy tried to ram into Ferb. Ferb saw this coming and jumped out of the way.
And they go round and round that ring of fun
Round and round that ring of fun
Suzy was surprised that Ferb managed to avoid her attack. However, she noticed Candace and zoomed right past her. Candace almost fell, but she managed to save herself.
Grudge match grannies gonna get things done
The grandmas zoomed past Candace and Jeremy. Candace fell into Jeremy's arms.
Going round and round that ring of fun
End "Ring of Fun"
"And we're back," Phineas said after the song ended. "Grandpa?"
"Orange, purple, chartreuse," Clyde announced.
"So, Perry the Platypus," Doof monologued. "In order to rid myself of that horrid bearded statue, I invented the…"
Doof tried to carry Perry's cage away from the window. He was too tired to do it.
"This cage is too heavy," Doof said. "Do you mind stepping out for a bit?"
Doof unlocked the cage and let Perry out.
"I've invented the Bread-inator!" Doof continued his monologue. "Not only will this machine emit a ray that will turn Mr. President into whole-grain bread, it will also release a flock of hungry magpies that will devour the doughy statue! Beard go bye-bye! Ha ha ha! Ow, my evil head."
The race was about to end. The crowd was going nuts.
Candace fell to the floor. Betty quickly helped her up.
"Come on, Candace," she said. "It's time for The Whip!"
Betty took Candace and Ferb's hands.
At the same time, Hildegard took Jeremy and Suzy's hands.
When the time was right, both Candace and Jeremy were launched ahead. They were neck-and-neck.
"I don't think so," Suzy said before pushing a button on a remote.
The button activated rockets on Candace's skates. They launched Candace backwards and into the air.
Thankfully, she bounced off a blimp. She landed right next to Jeremy.
"Wow," Jeremy said, amazed. "You gotta teach me how to skate like that."
Jeremy took Candace's hand.
Suzy pushed the button again.
Candace was sent back again. This time, she took Jeremy with her. They both flew into the air… right in Suzy's direction. They rammed Suzy, and then Ferb, sending all of them flying in the wrong direction.
"Don't think about doing anything rough this time, sister," Betty yelled at Hildegard. "Or I'll kick your fat…"
Before she could finish, they both saw their grandkids flying right towards them.
Thankfully, both of them managed to jump over. Hildegard ended up landing on Betty's shoulders. Because of this, they both crossed the finish line at the same time.
"It's a tie!" Phineas announced.
Clyde was asleep until Phineas announced the tie.
"A tie?" he reacted. "Oh, Betty Jo ain't gonna like that."
"At least I won this race," said Betty.
"You won?!" Hildegard yelled. "You're crazy! I obviously crossed the finish line first!"
"Wrong, and get off, cheater!" Betty threw Hildegard off her shoulders.
Candace approached and hugged her grandmother. "Hey Grandma, that was fun. I thought this would be lame, but I had fun."
"What about you, Hilda?" Betty asked Hildegard. "Did you have fun?"
"Yeah, I did," Hildegard admitted. "Maybe it ain't so important who won but that we had fun with the kids."
"Yeah, but just for the record, I won."
"You mean, even though you lost, it's having fun that's important."
"Who are you calling a loser, cheater?"
"Who are you calling a cheater, loser?"
"That's it. Race you to the Rutherford B. Hayes statue."
The two grandmas darted away. The crowd followed them.
Doof sighed. "Perry the Platypus, my head is killing me. This is all a wash anyway. I'll turn on the ray, you'll turn off the ray, thwarting my plan. Let's just get it over with, alright?"
Doof pulled the lever, turning on the ray.
Two men were carrying a large mirror past the statue. The ray was reflected off of the mirror.
Perry turned the ray off.
The magpies were released from their cage, and they all flew out the window.
"Good," Doof said. "I'm gonna lie down a bit. I promise I'll be more evil next time."
"Alright, we had our kicks," Candace admitted. "But Mom's still gonna flip when she sees this." She heard the sound of a car door slam. "That's her car. You're so busted!"
Right as Candace left, a beam hit the derby, turning it into a giant loaf of bread.
Candace came out with Linda.
"See, Mom? See?" she asked as she closed her eyes and gestured to where the derby should've been.
Linda gasped at the site of the giant loaf of bread.
"I thought you said it was a roller rink," she told Candace before turning to the boys. "You made a giant loaf of bread?"
"No," Phineas replied. "I have no idea how that got there."
Candace didn't expect to hear that. She opened her eyes and saw the loaf of bread.
"B-b-but," she stuttered.
That's when a swarm of magpies flew by and ate the bread.
"Well, that took care of that," Linda remarked.
That's when Lawrence came out.
"Hey, Dad," Phineas greeted. "How'd your speech go?"
"I have to say it was 'thimbly' wonderful," Lawrence replied.
That's when Phineas noticed a remote on the floor. "What does this do?"
Phineas pushed the button. It activated the rockets on Candace's skates. It sent her backwards.
That's when Jeremy showed up.
"Hey guys," he said. "Is Candace around?"
That's when Candace fell into his arms.
"Good catch, Jeremy," Ferb complimented.
Candace smiled and blushed. "He sure is."
Thanks for reading.