Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 23
Unfair Science Fair - Part 1
"What should we do today?" Phineas wondered as he and Ferb scrolled through a list of ideas. "Build an underwater skate park? Sounds wicked. Fly with rocket-powered bat wings? Awesome. Teach Perry tricks? He's just a platypus. They don't do much."
Perry chattered.
That's when Isabella came in.
"Hey, Phineas," she said. "You might wanna check on Baljeet. I was walking by his house and heard him scream, 'Aiee! I'm doomed to be an incomplete flunky forever, ever, ever, ever!' I added the echo part."
"It sounds pretty serious," Phineas said.
The boys went to Baljeet's house.
"Baljeet, it's Phineas and Ferb!" Phineas called. He found the door to Baljeet's room. He opened it to reveal it was completely dark. "Why are all the lights off?"
"Darkness is a shroud that hides my shame," Baljeet replied.
Phineas turned on the light. "Hey, why don't you tell us what's going on?"
"Because of the seventeen summer-school classes I am taking, I qualified for the science fair, so I decided to design this."
Baljeet showcased the blueprints. Phineas and Ferb were impressed.
"A portal to Mars?" Phineas reacted. "Cool."
"No, not cool!" Baljeet snapped. "When I showed it to my teacher, he said, 'Well, this is very creative, but unless you can make a working model, the best I can give you is an A-minus.' That would be the worst grade of my life."
"Why don't you just build one?"
"I'm not mechanically inclined like the two of you. To truly understand my predicament, I feel it would be best expressed in a song."
Play "Baliwood"
Baljeet:
From the mountains of the Himalayas
To the valleys of Kashmir
My forefathers and their forefathers
Knew one thing very clear
To be a great success in life
You have to make the grade
But if I cannot build a prototype
My dreams will be pureed
Pureed, pureed
Phineas:
I know what we're gonna do today
Ferb and I are on the case
We'll help you build your prototype
You won't be a disgrace
Baljeet:
Good
With your mechanical inclinations
And my scientific expertise
We're a team that cannot be beaten
Phineas:
Wait, something just occurred to me
Where's Perry, where's Perry?
End "Baliwood"
"Did you have him when you came over?" Baljeet asked.
Perry walked to a bookshelf. He put on his hat and pulled a certain book.
A drawer opened up. Perry jumped into it.
Perry landed in his lair. What he saw next was shocking.
Monogram was putting on his hair.
"Oh, Agent P," he said as he quickly finished putting it on. "It appears that Doofenshmirtz has made some rather unusual purchases of chicken wire, three metric tons of baking soda, and lederhosen. You know, those weird bib-shorts that make you look like a walking cuckoo clock? Man, he is one sick puppy."
Perry left to do his mission.
Meanwhile, Candace was in her room scrolling through her list of contacts.
"Let's see, who should I call first?" she wondered. "How about Jeremy?"
Candace dialed the number. After a ring, she heard Jeremy's voice. "Hey, it's Jeremy. You know what to do after the…"
The phone beeped before the sentence was finished.
"Hey, it's Candace," Candace said. "Just seeing what's going on today. Call me back if you want to. Okay, bye." She hung up. "That never gets easier. That's okay, I can just call Stacy. She's probably been waiting by the phone all morning."
Candace tried calling Stacy. After one ring, Stacy's voice said, "You reached Stacy's mobile. Leave a message, and I'll get back to you."
"Hey, it's Candace. Call me!" Candace hung up again. "That's weird. Who else can I call? I know. Jenny. I haven't seen her since the boys built a beach in the backyard."
Candace dialed the number. Like everyone else before, Jenny's voice said, "Leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."
Candace was getting tired. All she said was, "Call me."
Candace laid on her bed and sighed.
"Where is everyone?" she wondered. "Are they all having fun without me?" She sat up. "So, all my friends need time to themselves, huh? Well, not without me, they're not."
Candace went to the Slushy Burger at the mall. She asked the manager about Jeremy's whereabouts.
"I've been looking for Jeremy too," he said. "I need him to work tomorrow. Our fry guy just defected over to Taco Teepee." He shook his fist at the stand across from the Slushy Burger. "You win this one, Cooks With Grease!"
Candace headed back to her neighborhood to search for her other friends. That's when her phone vibrated. She opened it to see she got a text from Stacy.
'CYL BFF S.'
"What is this?" Candace asked, before instantly jumping to conclusions. "'Candace, you loser, bad friendships fail, Stacy.'" Candace sighed. "It feels like I don't exist anymore, like I'm a nobody. I wish I could go to some cool faraway place and start over."
That's when Candace noticed the boys' bikes.
The boys just managed to get the parts for the portal. They started bringing the pieces in.
Baljeet tried to nail two pieces of wood together. He didn't know why, but it wasn't working.
Phineas took Baljeet's hammer and turned it around.
Phineas rolled the circular piece into place. Ferb used a drill to screw it still.
Phineas did a bit of calculations so the portal would aim for Mars.
Baljeet once again struggled with a tool, this time, with a wrench. Once again, Phineas had to turn it around for him.
After a while, the portal was finished.
"You're all set for tomorrow, Baljeet," Phineas said.
"Inside I am thanking you a thousand times," Baljeet said. "Even though on the outside, I remain quite frugal."
That's when Candace came in.
"What are you boys up to?" she asked.
"We just built a portal that will teleport you to a cool, faraway place," Phineas replied.
"That's all I needed to hear. Candace Flynn is out. Peace."
Candace walked through the portal.
"Welcome to Mars," Phineas said.
It took a second for Candace to process that. "Wait, what?"
That's when the portal closed.
"No, the portal is broken," Baljeet cried. "Now I will never get a good grade and…" Baljeet turned to see the boys glaring at him. "There's also your sister who is stranded on a distant barren planet."
"Don't worry, we can fix it," Phineas assured. "Candace is probably screaming our names as we speak."
"Phineas! Ferb!" Candace screamed. "You guys are so busted! Now I truly am alone!"
Candace noticed a Mars rover. That gave her an idea.
Meanwhile, at the NASA base in Houston, a scientist was monitoring everything the rover was recording.
"AAAH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" he screamed. He didn't notice the teenage human girl waving at the rover's camera. "I HAVE BEEN STARING AT RED ROCKS FOR TWENTY YEARS! THAT'S ALL THERE IS ON THAT STUPID PLANET! THERE IS NO LIFE ON MARS! I'M SHUTTING THIS PLACE DOWN! GAME OVER!"
The scientist shut down everything.
Candace noticed the rover powering down.
"Stupid rover!" she shouted as she kicked the rover. "You're not gonna ignore me, too! Take that, you unmanned exploratory vehicle! That's what I thought!"
That's when this tiny green creature with three eyes stacked on top of each other appeared. Candace backed away in fear.
The creature made weird noises. More creatures exactly like it appeared from behind the rocks. They all surrounded Candace and lifted her into the air.
"What are you doing?" she reacted. "Put me down!"
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated
Perry climbed onto the wall. He used a blowtorch he stored in his hat to burn a hole. He then did his usual grand entrance. He saw what looked like Doof drawing a blueprint.
"Perry the Platypus, what's up?" he said. "Oh, are you here to…? No, no, no. I'm running a bit behind. I'm still in the middle of basic plotting and scheming. Plus, I can't give you my evil scheme monologue because I write that last. That's how I roll."
Perry was about to leave. Doof had to think of something.
"Wait, you can help me, that way I can finish faster, and you can defeat me faster," he said. "It's a win-win. Let me grab my coupons. We'll start shopping for supplies."
Meanwhile, Phineas, Ferb, and Baljeet just finished rebuilding the portal. All they had to do now was open it at the right place.
The first place shown was Venus.
The second one was Earth during prehistoric times. Phineas managed to switch it before any dinosaurs could come out.
Then, the boys saw themselves with a portal to Mars.
"Hey, just watch us and you'll fix the portal!" said future Baljeet. "Also, gesundheit."
Present Baljeet sneezed right after his future self said that.
Luckily for the boys, their fourth attempt was a success.
"It worked!" Phineas cheered. "Okay, give us twenty minutes to find Candace, then open up the portal."
The boys walked through the portal.
"Please be careful," said Baljeet. "I still need your help for the science fair tomorrow."
The portal closed right after Baljeet said that.
The boys noticed the broken rover.
"It looks like Candace was here," said Phineas. "Good thing you brought your tools, Ferb. Hey, I have an idea."
The Martians led Candace to their small civilization. They set her down on a chair.
"What's going on?" she asked right before one of the Martians gave her a crown. "Oh, you're making me your ruler?"
Candace's hopes were confirmed when the Martians brought out a table filled with lots of different cuisine.
"Cool," Candace said. "Let's get this party started. Crank the tunes." The Martians stared at her in confusion. "You know, music. You don't know what music is? It's like this."
Play "Queen of Mars"
Candace grabbed one of the Martians' antennae and played it like a guitar string. The others quickly followed suit. They used their teeth like piano keys and their ears like bugle horns.
"Now you're getting it," Candace said.
Candace:
I was just a lonely girl
Looking for a little fun
Thought without a friend in the world
I was forced to find a new one
Now I'm the queen of Mars
I was invisible on Earth
It only took a magic portal to Mars
To give me some self-worth
You put a crown on my head
And you all seem to worship me
Well, you don't understand a word I said
Still you treat me like royalty
'Cause I'm the queen of Mars
I was invisible on Earth
It only took a magic portal to Mars
To give me some self-worth
Phineas and Ferb, now riding a rebuilt rover, heard the song.
"Woo-hoo!" Phineas cheered. "Follow that music, Ferb!"
End "Queen of Mars"
You are much more attentive than my friends on Earth, Candace said. "And better at building statues of me." She gestured to the statue of her face they carved on the surface of Mars. "Come on, let's walk and talk. Of course, I'll do most of the talking."
As Candace and the Martians were walking, they saw another rover. The Martians spoke gibberish, but Candace could tell they were begging her to destroy the rover. She reluctantly obliged, making them all cheer.
That's when Phineas and Ferb arrived on their rover.
"Candace, we're here to rescue you," Phineas said.
"Why would I go back to being a nobody when I can be the queen of here?" Candace asked.
The Martians quickly surrounded the boys.
"Candace, what are they doing?" Phineas asked.
"Ignore them, they're harmless," Candace assured. "Hey, why don't you hang out a while so you can tell everyone how popular I am?"
Meanwhile, Doof and Perry reached the grocery store. Doof pushed a cart while Perry rode on the baby seat.
"Let's see," Doof said as he handed Perry a list. "You take the list and cross things off as we go. Should we get something for later, like one of those big pickles or a three-bean salad?"
Doof hit another cart. When he looked, it was Monogram pushing the other cart and Carl riding in the driver's seat.
Monogram backed away. Perry and Doof looked at each other, confused.
"Well, that was awkward," Doof said.
Candace sat on her throne trying to mind her own business. It was hard to do when the Martians were constantly staring at her with those creepy smiles.
"I'm gonna go for a walk," she said as she tried to walk out. She was stopped when the Martians came to her with another rover to destroy. "Not now, guys. I would just like to go for a walk again."
That's when she heard a car pull up. She turned around to see it was just Phineas and Ferb.
"Guys, what are you doing here?" she asked.
"Ferb just explained to the Martians how we got here," Phineas explained. "He speaks Martian. They're really excited about the idea of a science fair."
Phineas gestured to nearby, where some nearby Martians were setting up a Science Fair stand.
Candace rolled her eyes. "Figures. I'm the queen of little green nerds. Can you tell them I want a little time to myself?"
Ferb spoke in Martian. One of the Martians replied.
Ferb turned to Candace and said, "They say, 'Fine, but not without them.'"
"Okay, just because I need to do things without you sometimes doesn't mean I don't like you," Candace assured the Martians before she realized, "Wait, that's exactly what I assumed about my friends. Oh, I'm an idiot."
The Martians surrounded Phineas and Ferb.
"It appears the Martians are blaming us for you wanting to leave," Phineas assumed.
Candace hurried onto the rover. "Quick, get in!" The boys got onto the rover. Candace turned to the Martians. "Queen Candace is out. Peace."
Candace drove away. The three looked behind them and saw the Martians merging into one.
"Candace, did you know they can do that?" Phineas asked.
"No, but get this," Candace replied. "They're bodies are musical instruments, yet they have never discovered music before. Martians are so lame."
"Candace, do you have your phone with you?"
Candace reluctantly handed the boys her phone. "Yeah, but I don't know what you want to do with it."
Phineas dialed a number on Candace's phone.
"Hello, Baljeet?" he said. "We kinda need you to open the portal now. They're gaining on us."
"How is it we have bars here?" Candace wondered.
The portal opened. The three siblings managed to make it through before the Martians could grab them.
"Thanks for helping me, Perry the Platypus," Doof thanked. "I usually hate shopping, but you make it fun."
Perry pointed at the large machine on the balcony. It took Doof a second to realize what Perry was pointing at.
"Oh, that's my first inator," Doof explained. "Good story. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. I should probably get back to my latest evil scheme. So long, sucker!"
Doof slammed the door with his foot.
Candace quickly biked home.
"Mom!" she shouted.
"Hey, Candace," Linda greeted. "Where have you been? I want you to see my telescope."
"Telescope? Perfect!"
Doof looked at his inator.
"I don't even remember what this does," he realized. Doof pushed the button. It fired a laser into space. "Oh, that's what it does. No wonder I lost to a baking soda volcano."
Candace looked through the telescope. She could see Mars, and more importantly, her face carved onto the surface.
"Take a look at Mars," Candace said. "Who does that look like?"
Linda looked through the telescope.
Unbeknownst to either of them, the laser from Doof's inator hit Mars, right where Candace's face was carved.
"Hmm, it looks like a Rhesus monkey with a powdered wig," Linda said.
Candace took one last look at the face carved on Mars. It did look like a monkey.
"B-b-but," she stuttered.
Candace sat in front of the house and sighed.
"There you are," she heard a voice say.
Candace turned to see Jeremy, Stacy, and Jenny right there. She smiled and hugged all of them.
"There you are," she smiled. "Where have you been?"
"I was at the dentist," Jenny replied.
"I was taking my sister to the movies," said Jeremy.
"Didn't you get my text?" Stacy asked. "Call you later, best friends forever, Stacy."
Candace giggled in embarrassment. "That's what I thought it said. It's funny, I thought you were all avoiding me."
"Actually, I was avoiding you," said some random guy no one knew.
"Do I know you?" Candace asked.
"That's how great it's been working. Unknown guy is out. Peace."
Candace and her friends stared at the guy in confusion and bewilderment.
To be continued…