Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are so wonderful. I'm posting this early this morning because I have to go out shopping in person—the horror of it all.

Since we've already spent some quality time with the Natasha and Clint of the "bad timeline," I thought we could check in on their "better timeline" counterparts. Although considering both their partners are MIA, they might not see this as the "better" timeline.

Purple arrow is Clint, and Red spider is Natasha.

Conversation 17: The Missing Significant Others Club

Purple arrow: Where are you? You said that we would have breakfast together, and its lunchtime. Not that I can get the kids to eat anything.

Purple arrow: I could use you right now. Your goddaughter is currently crying on my lap again. Apparently, they're flashing back to when Ross kidnapped Laura.

Red spider: Ana sent me a picture. She's gotten so big. She's like a foot taller than she was last summer in Malta. When did that happen?

Purple arrow: Overnight. She's at least three inches taller since I was here in February. It seems like I'm missing so much with the separation.

Red spider: I know.

Purple arrow: Which seems so stupid now under the circumstances.

Red spider You never explained why you separated again. Steve just got a text from his fiancée one day in September, letting him know that you were taking over the Malibu house for a while.

Purple arrow: I can't talk about it right now.

Red spider: Are you okay?

Purple arrow: My wife was kidnapped by another version of myself from five years into the future. Worst of all, I wasn't there.

Red spider: You will not listen to me if I tell you that your presence would not have made a difference?

Purple arrow: Not at all.

Red spider: If I weren't currently going through the briefing material, I would ask about the future doppelgänger thing.

Purple arrow: At least you've been briefed. However, that could have happened here.

Red spider: I'm at meetings at the playground as Stark and Rogers play for the cameras.

Purple arrow: I know I've seen shots of them making out on Twitter. Just because Steve went to save Tony from his meeting with the president doesn't mean that you need to be there. The kids need you.

Red spider: I know, but I need to play the game if I don't want to be on the raft. You know I'm on parole now. After the debriefings, I must do a press conference as well.

Purple arrow: You need to do it now? They couldn't wait for you to at least spend one day at home.

Red spider: Jeffrey wants us to pretend that we're not in the middle of a crisis. It's part of the Avenger brand rehabilitation.

Purple arrow: More like the beginning of a crisis than the middle of a crisis. Also, I despise Jeffrey, which is why I'm sticking with retirement.

Red spider: I fought aliens yesterday. I fought a consortium of multiple alien races that refer to themselves as the Confederacy.

Red spider: You dislike Jeffrey because he asked out your wife that you're legally separated from.

Purple arrow: What is the plural of apocalypse? Because apparently, we're in the middle of more than one.

Purple arrow: Also, Laura said no because Laura has taste.

Red spider: My girlfriend disappeared with two Asgardians, and Stark won't tell me where she is. Or he doesn't know where she is after one hell of a fight yesterday with another alien.

Purple arrow: Did you ask Avenger Ana where she is?

Red spider: Yes, I did ask her, and she said, not Asgard.

Purple arrow: That seems concerning.

Red spider: Then I was able to watch the bodycam footage that quickly cuts out after Thor and his brother get their asses handed to them by their alleged sister.

Purple arrow: That's not good.

Red spider: Obviously, I'm worried.

Purple arrow: Watching the video doesn't make it any better. I know it made me feel worse seeing Laura just disappear.

Red spider: No, but better me then MJ. Besides, I didn't want May and Coulson to watch it alone. She's their little girl.

Purple arrow: This is true, although MJ is probably going to be dating a superhero soon. So, she should learn the hazards of that now.

Red spider: She keeps telling Daisy that they're just friends.

Purple arrow: Daisy keeps telling people that you guys are just friends.

Purple arrow: No one buys it.

Red spider: Not all of us can get away with dating a fugitive. Daisy already has enough of an image problem. No need to add to it right now.

Purple arrow: Plus, you don't want to send the Freaking Cool shippers into a frenzy again. They're still getting over the shock of Stony being "canon," and it's been over a year.

Red spider: It's not my fault that they assumed most of the original Avengers were straight, despite Stark's gay sex tape from the 90s.

Purple arrow: They blamed the cocaine. I can't wait until they find out Asgardians don't do orientations.

Red spider: Or Agent America's boyfriend is your ex-boyfriend.

Purple arrow: I'm trying to decide if the shippers will love us or hate us.

Red spider: Probably some strange combination of the two. How are you, really?

Purple arrow: I think you asked that question already.

Red spider: You never actually answered.

Purple arrow: Probably because I'm not sure how to answer. I wasn't here, and Laura's gone. I want her back, but at the same time, we are in the middle of multiple alien invasions, apparently.

Red spider: I don't think the Confederacy is coming back. They are a little terrified of Wanda and Robbie.

Purple arrow: Rightfully so.

Red spider: We also didn't leave that many alive.

Purple arrow: Also, not surprising. Is Stark's daughter-in-law with you?

Red spider: No, she's doing press in Mumbai with the King, Deputy Assistant Secretary Rhodes, Vision, and Joey. She's also there to brief them on what's really going on.

Red spider: The rest of us wanted to get back to the states. Robbie wants to see his brother, he's at Culver now because of Stark, and Sam's grandma is forcing him to come to Sunday dinner this weekend. She said he's missed too many.

Purple arrow: I'm sure Jeffrey will have cameras there to capture the reunion. Anything for it not to look like we're in the middle of a crisis.

Red spider: Well, for Sam anyway. No one can know about Robbie.

Purple arrow: Point. What about Bobbi? I know she was keeping a low profile in Mumbai.

Red spider: She was still there and helped us kick alien ass. Bobby doesn't want to see her ex-husband with his new "husband," so she is moving on to the West Coast Avengers. Stark has a cover job there waiting for her, and Mack could use her. If things didn't blow up, I was going to set you two up.

Purple arrow: No dating ever again. How are you doing? I'm not the only one with a missing significant other right now.

Red spider: Quake's a big girl; she can handle herself.

Purple arrow: I just convinced Ana to show me the last footage from Quake's suit before losing the signal, and I'm a bit concerned.

Red spider: So am I. Which is why I am looking through the records brought over from the other timeline.

Purple arrow: There are records?

Red spider: Yes. Don't ask me how. You know Stark gave his boy access to everything.

Purple arrow: This means you have access to everything.

Red spider: He's awful at passwords.

Purple arrow: Or you're incredibly good at breaking into things.

Red spider: [rolling my eyes emoji]

Purple Arrow: So, what have you found out so far?

Red spider: That I don't think Daisy and I were even together. She was the one who fought the Confederacy, and she ended up getting dusted when Thanos snapped his fingers.

Purple arrow: During the conference call yesterday, Deke said that Thanos wiped out half of all life in the universe. He also wouldn't make eye contact with me.

Red spider: I'm sure that he has his reasons.

Red spider: Hey, I have to go. Apparently, I need to be part of the Rose garden press conference. I do not like Jeffrey. At least he's not in charge of Shield here.

Purple arrow: Why are we doing Rose Garden press conferences right now?

Red spider: So, the entire planet doesn't find out that Coulson was kidnapped by aliens trying to raid the Earth of resources before another alien shows up.

Purple arrow: We really can't just have one crisis at a time, can we?

Red spider: No. I need to go. May is glaring at me again.

Xxxxx

Purple arrow: Hey Ana, you have a list of everybody who was lost during the decimation in the other timeline in your data bank, right?

Avenger Ana: Yes, although I am not allowed to answer your questions regarding if your wife and children survived the decimation.

Purple arrow: The fact that a block is in place for that information tells me that they didn't.

Avenger Ana: I cannot confirm nor deny this.

Purple arrow: You just confirmed it. Can you tell me what happened with Thor? Since obviously last time around, Daisy wasn't with him.

Avenger Ana: According to the archives, Thor was unwilling to talk about what happened with his sister. He lost an eye. Although he was given a prosthesis. However, Valkarie and Dr. Banner did provide a report of what happened that I have access to.

Purple arrow: I have so many questions. Am I allowed to have access to these reports? Also, why was Bruce with Thor?

Avenger Ana: I think that information would be in the reports. A standalone Stark pad is waiting for you on floor 27.

Purple arrow: I will pick that up as soon as I no longer have kids sleeping on me.

Purple arrow: Can you block MJ's access to these reports?

Avenger Ana: Already done.

Purple arrow: Thank you.

To be continued…