Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are all so fantastic. Parts of this chapter and the next were drafted/mapped out in September 2021, when I did conversations 41 through 44. However, I kept realizing some other things had to happen first before you saw the letters that came from the gamma timeline. I actually didn't sit down and complete the rough draft of this until Thanksgiving 2021. I had a little bit of a block. The first two episodes of Hawkeye gave me what I needed to finish this.

I also wasn't planning to write Lila's letter to her mom. Then I watched the first two episodes of Hawkeye and decided we needed to see more notes from Lila.

I deduced that gamma timeline Lila is about three years younger than her sacred timeline/MCU 616 counterpart at the time of the decimation. They're playing fast and loose with the timeline and obviously employed some rapid soap opera aging. This is why they purposely did not tell us Nathaniel's age during episode four. However, I've decided that Lila was just born later in the beta/gamma timeline compared to the sacred timeline/ MCU 616. It could be related to Laura's alcoholism in this timeline. I came back to finalize this chapter post Multiverse Of Madness. After watching that movie, I'm entirely committed to leaning into the differences between the timelines and universes.

I'm trying to figure out a basic timeline and ages for MCU 616. My best guesstimate is Hawkeye takes place about a year or two post blip. I'm going by the fact that they said that Rōnin hasn't been seen in years. So, we're going to need a bit of time to pass. So sacred timeline/MCU 616Lila was 12 when the decimation happened (14 in the present), and beta timeline Lila was nine.

I'm always going to miss AOS, but I miss it more now because at least it helped me keep the timeline straight for the movies. Now we don't have that. It would be nice to know where exactly this occurs in continuity. I spent half of MOM trying to figure out if it took place in spring or fall. I also hope She-Hulk will throw as many lampshades as possible on this.

This starts with text messages but switches to letters. For simplicity's sake, I'm just labeling it as a conversation.

Conversation 53: Wisdom from my other self

Beta timeline October 17, 2023, late evening in Norway

Cuddle bunny: Hey, I just thought I should let you know that we're planning to leave around 7 AM local time. I already have my alarm set.

Tony: Which means you'll probably get here around 5 or 6 AM local time. I love when I pick up time.

Cuddle bunny: I'm not a fan. I think the trip was beneficial. We did get a lot of stuff already from Thor. He even stopped drinking long enough to write everything down to avoid missing details. Did Friday ever figure out if there is actually a way for us to send messages to the gamma timeline before Thursday? As Melinda predicted, what we have is very time-sensitive.

Tony: Of course, it's time-sensitive. He wants to save his brother. This means the sooner the other timeline gets it, the more time they have to act on it.

Cuddle bunny: I think saving Loki is the only reason Thor is helping us. He wrote a letter to the other Thor, but Friday won't let us read it.

Tony: Yep, she has very strict instructions. I can't read James Leopold's letter to Simmons. Although I've been so busy, I haven't even had time to read my own letter until today. I forget to do things when I'm in the science zone.

Cuddle bunny: I'm still amazed you had time to talk to me.

Tony: You are more important. Although if I realized he was giving me love and life advice, I might have looked at it earlier.

Cuddle bunny: What did he say?

Tony: Raising teenagers is hard, and even he doesn't know how he managed to get with you. Gamma timeline Tony is just grateful. Hey, Friday, am I allowed to send the letter to Steve?

Friday: Yes, but only to Captain Rogers. We can send/receive messages periodically from the other timeline but cannot communicate continuously until Thursday to answer your previous question. Lila Barton has sent a new letter to her mother.

Cuddle bunny: I will tell Laura to check her mail.

Tony: Friday, sweetie, can you push the Thor notes to the other timeline as soon as possible.

Cuddle bunny: I also have some notes from my interviews with Korg and Valkyrie that should be added.

Tony: I think Brucie bear also made some addendums to his account.

Friday: I will transfer all relevant data files as soon as feasible. There should be a three-second transmission window within the next hour.

Tony: You're the best baby girl.

Friday: I also forwarded your letter to Captain Rogers.

Cuddle bunny: You know it's still May-Rogers. Although I'd prefer you just call me Steve. Or, at a minimum, Mr. May-Rogers.

Tony: So, you're not dropping your married name?

Cuddle bunny: I think I want to keep it for the kids. I don't know what May is planning to do. Also, this cuts down on the Mr. Rogers jokes.

Tony: lol. I understand. Have you guys talked since leaving Sunday?

Cuddle bunny: A little. We have exchanged a couple of text messages. Mostly to let Melinda know where I am and how the mission has been going. I know we need to talk because of work, but it's complicated. I realize she's right, but I'm not ready to acknowledge what that means.

Tony: Unfortunately, it will be awkward for a while. There is no magical cure for this.

Cuddle bunny: I figured.

Tony: It does get better. Despite how badly I fucked up, Pepper and I are in a good place now.

Tony: Which reminds me, Friday, can you send Steve all of the pictures Pepper sent me of the kids.

Cuddle bunny: They are adorable. I hope May and I get to a place where we can co-parent like that.

Tony: You and I are getting married in the gamma timeline. That proves anything is possible in the relationship department.

Cuddle bunny: I still wonder how that happened.

Tony: As I said earlier, gamma timeline Tony is still mystified, but I think it might've been talking to one another.

Tony: And therapy. Lots of therapy.

Cuddle bunny: It really was all relationship stuff? Not anything mission-related?

Tony: That was what our original Fitz sent. That was essentially a step-by-step account of everything he did in the other timeline. He was actually keeping a journal. We had a long-distance mentor-mentee type of relationship in this timeline before his disappearance. However, he's much closer to me now in the gamma timeline. I read that Sunday night while you were helping me go through the Simmons time travel notes. Although maybe I neglected to read the letter from myself because I was afraid of what gamma timeline Tony would tell me.

Tony: Although I feel that if it was actually mission-related, Friday would have forced me to read it Sunday.

Friday: I would have, Sir. However, I was informed it was not mission-critical. You could read the letter from Acting Director Stark-Rogers at your leisure.

Tony: That is so strange.

Cuddle bunny: Our names together?

Tony: No, that looks perfectly normal. It just seems so strange that I left SI behind to be the director of Shield. Granted, it was to get you a pardon, but still, I can't believe somebody made me the head of a government agency. Even with Damage Control, I stayed on the sidelines. It was more of a public-private partnership.

Cuddle bunny: I'm not. You're good at what you do. Friday, did we get anything new?

Friday: Not at this time.

Cuddle bunny: I am not surprised. I'm going to read the letter now.

Tony: You do that, my kumquat.

XXXXX

Dear other me:

I've been "acting" director of the ATCU/Shield for about a year, and I didn't think I would be writing that. (Note to self come up with something better like maybe variant.) Really, I should know better. Of course, time travel is a thing. Apparently, we need each other to make sure our timeline doesn't lose half of the population. I would write more about that plan, but I just know the basics. I should be reading the background briefer[KB1] . However, I'd prefer to reach out to you since I've just been informed that we can communicate. As soon as we're not in the middle of multiple apocalypses, I'm looking over the schematics.

I'm sure by now you know I got the man. (I am well aware that's a miracle.) Although I heard your path led you to Morgan, who is adorable. I always wondered what a baby Pepperony would look like. None of the artists on Freaking Cool got it quite right. I think they would love to find out that their ship ended up with a kid at least in one timeline.

I don't regret the path I took, and neither should you. It took us to different places, but I think we both needed to get there. I wouldn't give Afia up for anything. I think Wanda is turning her into a "real girl," not that she isn't one already. She is to me. I believe Wanda sees giving me a teenage daughter as a punishment for my many sins. Or maybe she decided that she just wants a sister-in-law, and me

getting a kid is just a byproduct? I don't know, and I know better than to ask too many questions.

I'm happy with how things are, even if teenagers are exhausting. Especially Flash. He broke up with his asshole boyfriend last Friday, and I am concerned. We are so busy I can't even talk to him about it. That would be great if you could get Flash out of his house. He's 18, so it might be easier.

You're going to have to look to everybody else's notes for guidance on what's going on because I don't even know what's going on. Ana suggested that I write to you, and Steve backed her up. My fiancé and my AI are in league together.

I have questions. But I won't ask any questions that I think I can find the answers to in the data dump. How exactly did Deke end up your chief creative officer? I found that more unbelievable than the kid despite still being sterile in this timeline. I think I pieced together how that happened, and despite the personal cost, I don't want that to happen here. I'm not going to ask about Pepper. Apparently, we're both sober, and let's keep it that way.

You're probably wondering how Steve and I got together. That's OK. I still wonder how we managed to get over all our bullshit. I will say sobriety helped, so you're already halfway there. It also took a lot of open communication and a lot of therapy. We even do couples therapy now. We're still a fucking mess, but we are a fucking mess that's together.

So talk to each other. Don't keep things in your head because that leads to fuckups like Siberia. Especially with what we're going into. But no matter how hard it was to get to this point, it was worth it.

Also, accept that the past is the past, and you can't change it. You can make a new timeline, apparently, but the old one is still there. The only thing you can change is what happens next. So, let's try to make a better future for both timelines.

I've just been informed by May that we are landing. So I have to cut this short.

XXXX

Cuddle bunny: You're right. It mainly was relationship advice. Although I think he's also telling us not to regret how things turned out.

Tony: Also, I have to figure out how to get Flash out of an obviously abusive home. Although his parents divorced after the decimation, so he might not be going back to the same abusive home.

Cuddle bunny: You're planning to get Morgan a foster brother?

Tony: He's 18, so not that but possibly another paid intern. From what Peter has told me, I think he's enough of an asshole that he can bug the hell out of Baker.

Cuddle bunny: Was Peter actually getting paid?

Tony: OK, that's on my list of things to fix.

Tony: This is becoming a very long list.

Cuddle bunny: I will help you.

Tony: Good to know.

XXXX

Hey mom:

I still miss you. I hate that you're not here. But I know what you're doing is really important.

We are in Malta now and will be here until the current crisis is over, whenever that might be. Dad came with us. Aunt Natasha wanted him to go with Aunt May on her space adventure, but Aunt May said no. She didn't want Dr. Leopold to go either, but he's her boss now, so he overruled her.

It's for the best that dad is here because otherwise, I would strangle Connor. He's still being an ass because he thinks he's too old to be here. Are you sure that we're actually related? He's an idiot.

BTW Connor lost Nikki at the airport. May PR found Nikki hiding in the ventilation shaft. She says it's easy because at least he doesn't turn invisible. Spidey II says he doesn't do that anymore.

Dad and Ms. Parker-Riley may have spent the entire flight to Malta sharing stories and getting into the good wine. Apparently, this was not the sober jet. We took a normal private plane instead of the quinjet.

Although I don't know if you can really consider it normal when there's a 3D printer that can make uniforms. Ana let us design a possible uniform for K and Spidey II, but we couldn't print them. All uniforms must be approved by our liaison. Even though you're in a different universe right now, is that still you?

I may have designed something for myself, just in case. It's purple. Also, I may have developed my own trick arrows. Something involving purple goo. Dad is not using them anymore, and who knows what we will need.

Right now, it's just the core group of "baby avengers," but I think Spidey II's mom will send some of the little kids from Puerto Rico as well. At a minimum, his cousin. This is why I'm in Afia's room instead of one of the guest rooms. Uncle Tony said we could stay in the family section.

Anyway, I miss you, and I hope you get back soon. I know things are going to get worse. We wouldn't be sent away otherwise. I'm not happy about it either, but I understand. It's easier for aunts Natasha and May to go off to save the world when they don't have to worry about us kids being collateral damage. I'm aware of what Ross tried to do with us.

PS: Can I please make this outfit? I would feel safer having my own outfit.

PSS: Nikki misses you and is very bored. Afia may have lost a stuffed animal.

XXXX

Agent Laura: Hey, I got another letter from Lila. I'm sending it to you if you want to read it, along with her mockup for her new superhero outfit. I want to say no, but the practical side of me would rather have her in Stark armor just in case. The same for the other kids

Agent Laura: I just realized that because I'm using a regular Stark phone, the kids' names are not being automatically redacted if I slip up. Although maybe the code isn't as necessary here.

Clint: I just read and saw the pictures. It's weird seeing Stark referred to as Uncle Tony. Also, I should have never given her archery lessons. That looks like my old Shield uniform with more purple. It won't protect her from the purple menace, but it can keep her safe from some of his henchmen.

Agent Laura: It's Afia's color scheme. Her code name is Purple Princess. Stark's daughter is Lila's role model. It's not all your fault. Your gamma timeline variant also gave her his old Shield arrow bag since he is "permanently retired." [Six rolling eyes emojis followed by two frustrated emojis]

Clint: That seems like a mistake. I only told her the fun stories, and now she wants to be a superhero. I should've told her about hiding in a ceiling vent for three days with just protein bars, the bad ones.

Agent Laura: I think it's more likely Natasha's self-defense lessons. It's only gotten more intense since May took over. All the kids are in self-defense training. There's also the fact that we now live at the Avengers compound. She also hangs out with Piper a lot.

Clint: I assume the self-defense lessons became more of a necessity after Ross kidnapped you?

Agent Laura: Yes, especially because the kids became a target. It's part of the reason why we live on the compound, and I commute to Midtown when I'm working there. Although Cooper wants to go to Midtown next year instead of dealing with the tutors.

Clint: I love our child, but I'm not sure Cooper qualifies for a science magnet school.

Agent Laura: Tony would just need to donate the right amount of money, but I'm still against it. It would also paint another target on his back. We can't prove it, but we think the multiple attacks on Midtown have not all been watchdog-related. Ross's fingerprints are everywhere. The principal wants Tony to pull his kids and put them in private school/tutoring next year. He's the only one that doesn't think the money is worth it. He is former Shield from the Academy.

Friday: It is possible that then-President Ross was responsible for the attempted kidnapping of Morgan Stark at age 6 months. Unfortunately, it could not be proven.

Agent Laura: Now I am thankful May took over self-defense training with all the kids. Which might've been why Nate knows how to hide in the vents.

Clint: So am I. I deeply regret not adding Ross to my list.

Agent Laura: Did you read the first letter as well? What list?

Clint: I don't know if the first message counts as a letter since it mostly tells you to watch the video.

Agent Laura: She also complained about Cooper a lot. Sometimes I feel like I should've kept the baby and sent Cooper to Malibu instead. Did you watch the video?

Clint: Yes. They look the same as how I remember them, but they are different simultaneously. More designer labels. Cooper seems angrier.

Agent Laura: Probably because he is. It's been a difficult two years. Ross kidnapping me left scars. I don't think this separation has been easy on anybody. Lila understands what's going on and is pragmatic about it. Although I know she wants us to work things out and get back together.

Clint: Do you think you will work everything out?

Agent Laura: I don't know. There are things that the gamma timeline Clint needs to deal with.

Clint: I think this experience will be the kick in the head that he needs.

Agent Laura: I hope you're right.

XXXX

Dear asshole:

It's your older but not necessarily wiser self. I would be smacking you upside the head if I was actually there. Please get your head out of your ass and work things out with Laura. Being without her and our children is worse than anything you can imagine. This includes getting mind fucked by Loki and finding out that longtime colleagues are actually working for Hydra. I wouldn't want to go through it voluntarily.

Yet you are being a fucking moron hiding out in Malibu at Stark's other house for reasons I don't understand. If you're that upset about Laura killing a member of the watchdogs, you will hate me since I killed most of them. I enjoyed stabbing them through their hearts. That was just the beginning. I've done worse things than killing a terrorist to protect young children. Many of them were before the timeline split, which means you've done worse things.

Let's get to the heart of the issue. You are upset that Laura had to make a deal with the devil to free you, a.k.a. going back to Shield after dropping out of the Academy years ago. I've known this version of Laura for less than two weeks, and I know she did what she had to do to protect your children. It wasn't all about you. Not everything is.

Do you blame yourself for Ross kidnapping her? For coming after the children? Is that why you're staying away? Because I'm going to tell you that won't change things. In this timeline, he went after a baby Morgan because Tony took a stand against the inhuman Internment camps. Friday doesn't have proof, but I can find it.

I don't want you to become me. More importantly, you don't want to become me. Get your shit together before it's too late.

To be continued…