Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed. You're all wonderful.

Warning: You might need tissues for this chapter. Daisy is going through a lot.

Also, a quick note on this chapter, this takes place immediately after conversation 75, but simultaneous to parts of conversation 76. The reason for this weird placement is I wanted everybody to be surprised about the team arriving on earth. Now we are going to back up and examine Daisy's headspace.

Mission report 5: How to (not) process grief in the middle of a mission.

Message to UN Avenger member Agent Melinda May from UN Avenger member Agent Daisy Johnson

I am sitting on my bed, currently being comforted by Loki. Yes, Loki, because you're dead. I can't believe I just typed that. You're not supposed to die. You are Melinda May. You're indestructible and supposed to outlive us all. And yet you're dead. How the fuck am I supposed to process that?

I quaked the ship when Natasha told me. I didn't believe her at first. I still don't. It's why I'm writing a letter to a dead woman. Maybe some part of my mind thinks you'll answer me back. Unfortunately, my therapist is a few light-years away, and I can't quake the ship again, so this is my best outlet. I can't run away like with Lincoln because we're still dealing with the purple asshole. We have one more ring pop to protect because of what you did.

Am I supposed to be happy that you sacrificed yourself? Because I'm not. Why does one of these things need a sacrifice? It's so ridiculous. Why does it have to be you? I don't understand. We could've come up with something else. The purple jerk had no idea where the stone was. We could've come back later. I am sure that Fitz 2.0 would have come up with a solution that would not involve you jumping.

Or him sacrificing himself because I think Hunter's husband is more of a martyr than Simmon's husband. I want to know how that happened.

Why did you leave me? I am not ready to stand on my own yet. I'm not.

xxx

Avenger Ana remote: I hate to disrupt your writing, but Agent Romanoff needs you in the conference room. Agent Leopold has arrived from the other ship

Quake: Tell Natasha I'm on my way. Although why is he now here? Why didn't he come with Natasha earlier?

Avenger Ana remote: I am not allowed to transmit that information due to the sensitivity. Natasha has instructed that you bring "Sylvie" with you. As to why Dr. Leopold didn't come earlier, he was afraid you would blame him for Agent May's decision. Now he has no choice but to be here.

Quake: Actually, that makes me more concerned. I'm now 100% sure he would've sacrificed himself first if May had given him a chance to.

Xxxx

Avenger mission report of Agent Daisy Johnson, UN Avengers member
Location: [redacted]
Time: [have Ana figure that out later, but it's March 30 somewhere]

The situation has deteriorated. The purple asshole has one of the ring pops and a hostage. I just sat through a 45-minute argument about going to help rescue that hostage. Unfortunately, I cannot discuss what that decision was. However, you know what type of people we are, so it's obvious what some of us will be doing. I'm not naming names for their safety.

I will be returning to earth with "Sylvie" and Fitz 2.0. Thankfully Thor and the Green Guy are staying with the refugees with the Valkyrie. She's in charge because I like her (when she's mostly sober). Yes, it took forever to come up with that. It's a minor miracle somebody didn't go green—what did my girlfriend actually see in Bruce Banner?

Xxxx

"Steve was already head over feet in love with Tony, and it's hard to date people that don't understand what I do. Thankfully I have a better pool to work with now," Natasha said as she wrapped an arm around her girlfriend. Daisy was so busy dictating her report that she didn't realize Natasha was with her. "Ana, please delete that note. There's too much in it that I don't want to go to Earth."

"Deleting." The AI replied.

"How long have you been listening to me dictate that report? I didn't even hear the door open." Daisy asked.

"Enough to know that it should be deleted. You didn't hear the door open because I'm that good at what I do." Natasha leaned over to kiss her.

"I agree I should've left out the part about Thor and the ex staying with the refugees. I still don't know how you convinced Thor not to follow Loki."

"I pointed out that he had a responsibility as king to protect his people. I also think Loki threatened to stab him with a dagger if he didn't take this opportunity to get vengeance." Natasha explained.

"That seems likely." Daisy agreed.

"You can brief the other team when you get to Earth. Although please leave out your dislike for my former boyfriend. I would prefer that that not show up in any official reports."

"It's already too late for that. Also, he was steering the ship towards Thanos because he didn't want to believe me about what happened in the other timeline. I think I should get to make an official record of that." Daisy pointed out.

"Your concerns are noted. I agree that we should avoid known hotspots. However, we also need to see what happened in the other timelines as a guide, not as the absolute truth of what will happen." Natasha told her.

"I know that." Daisy pulled Natasha closer to her. "I don't want to split up from you right now." She had her girlfriend back for only a few hours, and now they were splitting up again because the mission came first.

"I don't either, but I don't think you trust me to stay with Loki." Natasha joked.

"And he can't stay here." Daisy acknowledges that splitting up the targets is the best option, and Loki is a target even if the blue infinity stone is far away. "I'm not sure taking him to Earth with us is the best option. I think there are warrants for his arrest in at least 28 countries."

"Loki's arrest, not Sylvie. We talked and he agreed to stay in Sylvie form on Earth. You won't stay there long. Just long enough to put the plan into action. Besides, you'll need someone with a basic understanding of the Asgardian palace from five years ago to get that stone."

"We could still be on Earth for more than 24 hours. I don't know if Stark will want to use a piece of technology created by his variant in another timeline to send us back to when evil elves almost destroyed London." Daisy remembered that mission. She's not even sure she was with the team for a full month when they were dispatched to London for cleanup duty.

"With Leo there, things might go faster." Because he wants this over as much as she does and would do anything to get it done. Of course, she doesn't know that for sure because he won't talk to her. He barely spoke to the group. He won't even make eye contact. What Ana told her earlier is very true.

"All valid points. The silver lining is maybe I'll get to see Coulson," and she wants to hug the man right now. And possibly crawl up into a ball and cry. But she doesn't have time to do that.

"If you want Robbie to drop you off in Malta you can see Coulson, but I think Wakanda is the better option so he can grab Yo-Yo and Joey." Joey and Yo-Yo were going with Robbie and Natasha to protect the blue infinity stone.

"He's in Malta, not Wakanda?"

"He's with Clint and Simmons." Daisy is not surprised at all that Coulson is with his ex-boyfriend. Their relationship was complicated, but they cared about each other a lot. "It was decided he needed to be somewhere away from the action. But you should email or video call him as soon as you land."

"That makes sense, and I will message him as soon as we get there."

"However, your cousin is in Wakanda, and is very worried about you."

"At least, I will get to see her." She really wants to see MJ right now.

"Ana, can you message Joey and Yo-Yo, so they'll be ready for pickup by Robbie in 30 minutes?" Natasha requested. "I think he's aiming for the labs."

"Of course. However, I will give an exact time since I do not know the delay on this message. Should I let Agent Leopold know as well? He should be at the palace soon, if not already there."

"I think Leo should contact him when he arrives. They need each other a lot right now. I doubt I'm going to be any help. He wouldn't look at me when he explained what happened." Daisy is not surprised that May knocked him out so that she could jump off that cliff. She would absolutely do that. Also, she punched out Red Skull, which Capt. America should do.

"He blames himself for what happened to May."

"So, do I. Maybe if I didn't fall into the broken Rainbow Bridge with Loki, I could've been with her…" Daisy stopped talking when she noticed a nearby glass of water trembling.

"I can't think about that mission right now. For my sanity, I need to pretend May is just on a mission somewhere else, and she will come back to me as soon as it's done." And that May's shield isn't waiting for her with Leo. She's pretty sure he brought it for her. Unless he brought it to give it back to Steve, but she doubts the man will take it up any more than she will.

"I know I'm the last person who should point out an unhealthy coping mechanism, but I'm not sure this is the best way to move forward." Natasha gently rubs circles on her back.

"Neither is me accidentally quaking the ship apart. That almost happened again a couple of moments ago."

"You stopped it."

"Barely, and I did that by returning to my own personal denial."

"I am worried about you."

"I am compartmentalizing. I'll crash after the mission is over." Daisy tells her girlfriend.

"I am still worried. But I'll be there to catch you when you crash."

"Thank you." She whispers before leaning over to kiss Natasha. They did have 20 minutes before she had to meet Robbie and Leo to go back to Earth. She might as well spend it kissing her girlfriend.

Xxxx

Meanwhile, in the Beta timeline

Friday: You just received a letter from Agent Daisy Johnson of the gamma timeline.

Director May: I don't think this was meant for me. It says Agent America.

Friday: Per Laura. You were the current Capt. America. Agent America was the name used most of the time for differentiation.

Director May: I was the current Capt. America. But she did what any Capt. America would do.

Friday: I still think it will be helpful for you to read this.

Director May: Since her May is no longer able to respond.

Friday: Yes.

Director May: If any more letters are sent to that May, can you ask Ana to send them to me?

Friday: I will.

To be continued…