Big thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and to those people who still put it on their alert and favorite lists. It's a great motivator. Also thanks to everyone who is reading.
Contains scenes from episode 1x2.
Though at first, finding out about her dad's new job didn't really shock or bother Anna, they had been through job transfers before, the 27 where he stared, Narcotics, and Manhattan South, just to name a few, when she looked up Major Cases on her break, it began to worry her. So at lunch time she bothered one of her friends until they forked over a cell phone and she walked away from her friends a bit as she dialed the cell number she had memorized. "Hello?" Jamie asked, picking up his cell and not recognizing the number.
"Hey, Uncle Jamie, did I wake you? Because you sound sleepy," Anna said.
"Anna, shouldn't you be at school?" Jamie asked. She had indeed woken him, but he wasn't going to tell her that.
"Lunch, borrowed a friend's phone. The courtyard has less rules than the cafeteria. You got a minute?" Anna asked, nervously. She'd probably be able to read him better if she could see his face but for now she had to make do with what she had.
"Sure, what's up?"
"Dad got reinstated."
"That's great."
"He also got transferred."
Jamie waited for her to go on but she held quiet. "Where to?" he asked, expecting the worst like motor pool or Staten Island.
"Major cases." Anna bit her lip unsure of what else to say. That's when Jamie knew he was going to have to push his niece a bit.
"Isn't that a good thing?" Jamie asked. Anna didn't answer. "Anna, you can tell me anything, remember?"
"I guess it is. It's out of the 5-4 and I'm proud of him, but I'm also worried too. It means more work, bigger cases, and mostly a bigger target on his back."
"He's Danny, he can handle it."
"I know, but he's still my dad."
"Maybe you should tell him this. You did tell him this, right?" Jamie asked.
"You're busy, I get it," Anna said sadly.
"I didn't say that. I told you to call. Talk to your dad. You're having fears about his job and there are going to be things about this job that only he can tell you and that are only going to comfort you if they come from him," Jamie explained as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
Anna sighed as she paced and considered his words. She knew her uncle was trying to help but she wasn't sure that anything he said could help. "Anna!" One of her friends called.
"I have to go, thanks, Uncle Jamie," Anna said while motioning to her friend that she was coming. She said goodbye to her uncle then hung up and went back over to her friends.
"You okay?" her friend Jim asked as she handed the phone back to Derrek. She looked up at the first baseman and smiled. He had always been a good friend to her.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just needed advice. Not sure it was good advice but at least I heard him out, right?" Anna asked.
"Yeah. You want to talk about it?"
"Nope. I trust you, Jim, but I'm not sure you'd have any useful advice." Jim and Anna had met when Anna had tried out for and made the school baseball team in the seventh grade. Jim had been in eighth grade and welcomed her with open arms. Him and a few of his friends on the team, Derrek included. The following year Jim had been bumped up to varsity but he had stayed friends with her. The reason she was so reluctant to let him help out now was because he was the son of a firefighter and even though he knew her dad was a cop, unlike the majority of her school who thought he was a Marine, his dad had been with the same station house his entire career. That and Jim was a guy so he'd probably chalk the whole thing up to girly emotions.
"Kay, but I'm here if you need me," Jim said.
"Thanks," Anna answered. At dinner that night, Anna listened to her brothers go on about their last practice barely listening.
"Anna, you're not listening," Sean called her on it.
"I'm sorry, Sean. I'll try harder. Go on," Anna said, looking at her brother attentively.
"Boys, you're excused," Linda said.
"Sweet," Jack and Sean cheered. "Race ya," Jack added. They got up from the table and raced up the stairs to their room where they were probably going to play video games.
"Okay, let's have it," Linda said, setting down her fork.
"Have what?" Danny asked, looking at his wife who sat to his left.
"Not you. Anna. You haven't distracted like this since ..." she paused for a moment trying to remember what had Anna so distracted, "since we found out Jamie was going to the academy." Linda looked across the table to her daughter who slouched down in her seat.
"Can we not?" Anna asked.
"We're going to talk about this. Is it about your dad's new job?" Linda asked. The way Anna looked back down at her food let Linda know that's exactly what was bothering her daughter. "Let's talk about it then."
"I don't want to know how you got a promotion over a demotion, I probably already know that, I want to talk about the target. The one that just grew three sizes," Anna said, glancing at her dad. He looked mainly curious but she knew that could change in a heartbeat.
"What target?" Danny asked.
"I'm 14. 14 years old and I know I have a lot to learn and that you still want to protect me. I get that. I'm your little girl, you look at me and still see a little girl in a princess dress. You want to be the knight that slays the dragons; the hero that banishes the monsters, but you can't protect me forever and as much as I still want to be that princess locked within the safe confines of those castle walls, sometimes," Anna took a deep breath and slowly let it out, "sometimes those monsters are going to ..." Anna trailed off unsure if the analogy was getting through to her dad.
"Anna," Linda prodded gently. Danny looked at his daughter unsure what she was getting at exactly. Thankfully she spoke again before he could and kept him from putting his foot in it.
Seeing that the analogy didn't work she changed tactics. "The older I got, the more I understood your job. Robbery, assault, domestic violence, arson, and the occasional homicide would cross your desk and you as good as you are, you'd catch the guy and that might make him angry enough to come after you. I still remember the '06 case that sent us to Grampa's. I know that you being so good makes it hard for these guys to lure you into a trap so part of my worry is that they're going to come after us. I'm—I know that very few of the guys you catch will try to come after you though because they'd have to be stupid to think that they could ever get away with it. Now though, it feels different," Anna explained.
"How so?" Danny asked. "I'm still taking monsters off the streets." Danny finally got where her monster analogy was going.
"Those were little fish. How many felony collars did you catch while you were on the job in the last three years? 30 to 45? These monsters you're catching now, I wouldn't be surprised if that rate doubled. Federal time," Anna said.
"Come on, kid. Don't worry about me. Your old man's never let you down before, has he?" Danny asked. Though he didn't make it clear in his tone, the last two words were more of an actual question than a rhetorical one. He wasn't completely sure she didn't feel let down by him.
Anna opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She shook her head then tried a few more times before sighing and standing. "Anna, sit down. Danny," Linda said, giving him a look. She turned back to her daughter and took the younger girl's hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze. "Tell us what's going on. Take your time."
"I'm ... I'm scared," Anna said. Danny's heart sank as he started to feel like he had failed at protecting his only daughter. Then the irritation kicked in over the fact that she didn't think he could do his job.
"Scared of what?" Linda prodded, resting a hand on Danny's arm. She knew exactly where Danny's mind was going and knew that Anna needed him to listen to help her get over this. Linda knew her daughter was afraid of something, but wasn't quite sure it was what Danny was thinking it was about.
"I take that back, I'm not scared," Anna said, looking more at her mom than her dad. She could see, however, that Danny relaxed when she said that. That made Anna less willing to say what she wanted to but knew for her mom's sake she had to. "I'm terrified. Terrified that these castle walls aren't as strong as the used to be and someday a seriously dangerous monster is going to get through them and even your best attempt isn't going to be enough to stop them."
With those few, soft words the air in the house felt thick and tight. It was almost like Danny had been sucker punched and in a way he had been. His own daughter felt like he wasn't strong enough to protect her. Part of him was relieved that she wasn't worried about him protecting himself but that didn't matter when his daughter didn't believe in him. "What do you want from me, Anna?" Danny asked.
"I want you to convince me that I'm wrong. That even in real life the monsters don't win. Convince me the castle walls are stronger than they've ever been and I will never be in any danger." It was silent in the small home for about a minute straight. Danny was trying to find the impossible words to make his daughter feel better. "You can't. That's the worst part about it. I'm no longer naive enough to believe the good guys always win and the harsh reality is you know that you can't convince me I'm 100 percent safe, 100 percent of the time." Anna stood up, pulling away from her mom. "I've got homework. I'll let the boys know dessert will be ready soon." Danny watched her walk away from the table still feeling at a loss as to what to say.
"So did you talk to your dad?" Jamie asked when he called her a few days later.
"I did, but it didn't help," Anna answered, leaning back against her pillows.
"Why not?" Jamie asked curiously.
"Because I'm scared and he can't fix it."
"I'm sorry, Anna. Maybe we can talk on Sunday and figure something out."
"Maybe."
"Anna, get off the phone and get down here," Danny yelled from downstairs.
"Got to go, later." Jamie also said goodbye and Anna hung up the extension in her room. She sighed and got up, making her way downstairs.
"Less than two percent," Danny said as Anna sat down on the couch.
"What?" Anna asked.
"Less than two percent of a cop's collars come back to haunt him in the way you're afraid of."
"See, there is a chance."
"Anna, I have 15 years on the job, minus the two years I was in Iraq after 9/11, but 15 years on the job. That's thousands of arrests and hundreds of felony collars. And you know what? Every time I collar someone new, that statistic gets smaller. Every time you cut a pie into more pieces, the pieces get smaller, right?"
"Yeah, but there's still that two percent."
"I know. There is a better chance that I will have to take a life on the job than there is of one of my collars making good on a threat to harm me or my family. And even if they did come after you guys, that would just make me angry. And you know what it's like to make me angry."
"I know."
"Anna, you can't live in fear," Danny said. Anna was glad that at the moment it was just her and her parents and her brothers weren't there to hear this discussion. "Want to know a terrible secret? I spend more time doing paperwork than I do chasing down bad guys."
"You do?" Anna asked, trying not to look too hopeful.
"I do." Danny nodded.
"What are we doing for Jack's birthday next week?" Anna asked.
"You'll just have to wait and see until next week," Linda answered.
Later on that week, news broke of the Subway Samaritan and Anna knew that would be the topic of interest at dinner on Sunday. Throughout dinner and most of dessert that's what they talked about. Anna held her silence and mostly picked at her food. "You okay?" Frank asked, nudging his granddaughter as she sat to his right. "You haven't eaten or said much."
"I don't know, maybe." Anna turned to her aunt a few seats down from her. "Can we talk later, in private?" she asked.
"Sure, about what?" Erin asked.
"Uh ... I'd rather not say at the moment," Anna said, glancing at her brothers. Erin nodded understanding where the girl was coming from. There had been times when she had to talk to a woman without her little brothers around as well. Danny came in during dessert and Linda asked about Nicky's trip. She was with her dad on a few weeks long trip to San Francisco. Anna was a bit jealous that Nicky got to miss school but was glad she didn't have to deal with a divorce.
For some reason that started a rant from Erin. "Having the time of her life. Suddenly her dad is all pony rides and presents. Son of a you know what," Erin said.
"I know what," Sean said, leaning back in his seat.
"Well, you better not say it," Linda warned her youngest.
"Sorry," Erin whispered to Linda.
"Well he is her dad," Danny said, "she's not going to stop loving him." He bit into his dinner and Erin glared at him.
"Who's side are you on?" Erin asked.
"When it comes to kids in the middle of a divorce, there are no sides," Anna snapped. "None, except making sure the kid knows they're loved no matter what happens with their parents. I know kids that come from divorced parents and very few of them are happy. Most of the time, the parents are too busy slinging mud at each other to ever take into consideration how their kids are feeling. Bad mouthing your ex in front of your kid is never a good idea."
"I would never do that," Erin said.
"No matter how much of a jerk Uncle Jack was to you, a little girl should never have a negative view of her dad," Anna warned. And then they were back to talking about the good Samaritan. A guy illegally carrying a weapon on the subway had shot a kid during a robbery in self-defense but now it looked like he'd be charged instead of being hailed as a hero. After a bit Danny and Erin disappeared into the kitchen and Frank followed minutes later with a few of the plates from dessert. The boys ran off to watch TV in the sunroom followed shortly by Jamie. Anna walked into the living room, looking at the pictures under the window.
"Anna," Erin said from behind her a few minutes later. She turned to look at her aunt and saw she didn't look particularly angry. "You wanted to talk?"
"Are you mad about what I said about Uncle Jack?" Anna asked.
"Of course not. My divorce was nasty and sometimes I did forget that Nicky was right in the middle of it," Erin said, sitting down on the couch. Anna turned back towards the photos and spotted one nearly halfway hidden behind the rest of them. "I'm sure that's not what you wanted to talk about though. You asked before I even brought up Jack." Anna picked up the photo then walked over to the couch sitting down sideways on it. She leaned back against the arm and looked down at the photograph in her hands.
"How old were you," she asked after a moment, "when this was taken?" She handed the photo to her aunt and Erin smiled. It was a photo of her on that very couch between Jamie and Joe. All three were laughing. Erin was dressed up for something and Jamie and Joe were already in their pajamas.
"A little bit older than you are now," Erin answered gently. "It was the spring dance at school. Danny had already left with his date and I waited for close to an hour for mine before I gave up. He stood me up that night. Joe and Jamie took it upon themselves to cheer me up. It eventually worked."
"That was about the time that Grampa was promoted to deputy chief right?"
"He was a detective working out of Manhattan South." Erin nodded handing the photo back to her niece. Anna took the photo and looked down at it brushing a finger over Joe's smiling face. It was going to take all her courage to spill this to her aunt.
"Were you ever scared?" Anna asked, staring at the photo and not having the guts to look at her aunt. "Of your dad's job and the implications it could have on your family."
"When I was your age? Yes. Why?"
"Dad's new job." Anna swallowed hard, knowing that anyone in the family could be listening.
"Danny's been a detective for almost as long as you've been alive. What's different about this new job?"
"It's Major Cases. When I was younger, his cases weren't so bad. I was protected from the truly gory stuff. I mean, you still don't talk about the blood, guts and gore, but the news media, surveillance cameras, cell phones, and social media, it's all over the place. I looked up Major Cases. I know what they do. There's supposedly less homicide but robbery, assault, kidnappings ... the perps in these cases are serious and more dangerous. How do you live with the fear?"
"By reminding yourself that because your dad was good enough at his job to get promoted, he's good enough to protect you if something were to happen. Besides you're also the PC's granddaughter. There's not a chance that anyone would come after you without considering that. If Danny was ever working a case that put you in danger, you know he'd get you and the rest of his family police protection."
"I guess you're right," Anna finally looked up at Erin. "Still feel a little scared though. I searched Dad's name from a school computer and did you know it only took four websites before I had his precinct and home numbers plus the home address. If I can do it that fast ..."
"I promise your dad will do everything in his power to protect you and make you feel safe. So would your grandpa."
"I know, but we live in an information age and once it's out there it's hard to make things disappear. Maybe I'm just worrying too much. Wish there was some way not to."
"Trust your dad."
"Yeah," Anna said but she wasn't sure how she would.
"Everything okay in here?" Frank asked, entering the room.
"I think so," Anna said. Soon she and the rest of the family were heading home.
