Heey :)

First of all, thank you so so so much for all of your reviews and suggestions. I reeeally like them, so I've decided to (eventually) write as many of them as I can.

Secondly, I am well aware of the fact that I've been gone forever. And ever. And ever. So here's why it took me such a long time to post this. I got to go on a surprise vacation (as a gift from my parents), which meant no writing for nine days, as I didn't have my computer with me. I am also a very (and I mean very) clumsy person, which resulted in me getting a concussion halfway across the world, so that was an interesting experience. I also ended up having to go to the neurologist for a completely different reason, and he ended up panicking a little bit (which obviously isn't very soothing) and sending me for some more tests. The tests have left me in quite a bit of pain and surprisingly exhausted, so quite frankly, I didn't really feel like writing (I never thought I'd say that). So my life has been really interesting, if you know what I mean… Why do these "author's notes" always end up being more about me than the actual story? Hope I don't annoy you too much.

Anyway, I hope you like it, even though it's kinda thrown together and not exactly on the long side…

Thank you for the prompts which inspired this story (I won't name anyone in specific, since this was more of a combined idea I had. When I use a prompt one of you specifically gave me, I will obviously list your names...)

Hope you enjoy :)

Jay's P.O.V.

Not gonna lie, it's been a rough couple of weeks.

Honestly, never mind. It's been a rough couple of months… years… I don't even know. I've stopped counting.

Do you know what PTSD's like? Just when you think you've finally managed to get rid of it for good, it knocks you down even harder than the last time. Trust me, I know how it goes by now. I've had plenty of practice.

Ever since the time I kill-. See? I can't even get myself to say it. Ever since that incident with the little girl, I've been spiraling into the deep waters, just waiting to finally drown and escape from my misery and guilt.

That was two months ago. It still hasn't happened. And it still hurts just as much as it did back then.

The case we're currently working on isn't exactly helping either. We're investigating a serial killer who only ever murders kids. Yes, you heard me right. Kids. This world is so messed up. And the hardest thing about it is that it's been going on for almost five weeks now and we have yet to catch the perp. Two days ago, we finally received some clues from one of the CIs, which could potentially lead us to him. At lest I hope they do, so that I can finally kill him myself.

I'm sitting in the SUV with Haley, more than ready to rush inside the building and break some bones. Haley gives me "a look" that I can't quite place into any of my established categories, therefore I decide to ignore it and get out of the car. Seconds later, I'm completely ignoring Voight's orders to keep together, and running up the stairs by myself. I can hear someone running after me, but I don't bother to turn around. I already know that I'm gonna be in trouble for doing this, but I can't find it in me to care. Soon, I find myself in front of a locked door, so I decide to throw myself against it and force it open. Without waiting for back-up.

Before I can react, something hard slams me on the back of my head, and I stumble to the floor. Suddenly, I'm aware of what's happened.

Soldiers.

My unit and I were ambushed.

We have to fight.

Wait a second. Where is everyone?! Oh god, please don't be dead.

I try to look around, but I can't see a thing. That's probably because of all the dust and sand that's floating around me. How am I supposed to fight if I can't see anything? So much for fair play, am I right?

Well, I guess I'm gonna have to trust my senses. It's not like I haven't done that before.

I jump to my feet and throw a fist, not really aiming at anything. Miraculously, it connects with someone's face. Success.

Suddenly, someone tackles me, making me lose my balance, so we both fall on the ground unceremoniously. It has to be one of the opponents, so I decide to beat him up as soon as possible, hoping that someone comes help me.

Speaking of which, where is everybody? I could sure use some help.

"Jay! Snap out of it!" a voice yells directly into my ear, startling me.

Great, this means at least one of my soldiers is still alive. Better than nothing, I guess. I just hope he's not the only one.

"Jay! Stop it!" Why would I wanna do that?! This idiot who has me pinned down is probably trying to kill me, so I think I'd rather not let him. "Jay!"

Something slaps my cheek and makes me realize that this is actually the first time this mysterious person has hit me. That's strange.

"JAY!"

I suddenly gasp noticing Tony's face right above mine.

What the hell?

"You with me, buddy?" he asks, concern more than obvious in his voice. I try my best to nod, though I'm still confused about what my team's doing in Afghanistan. "Good, that's good. Stop struggling" Antonio continues.

I look around and realize hat I'm squirming violently, making my body ache in the process. I also notice that I am in fact not in Afghanistan, but in the warehouse. In Chicago. Ah-oh.

"What happened?" I ask once I let my body go still and focus on slowing my breathing.

"Not sure" Tony answers. "When I came in, you were lying on the floor, looking kinda freaked out. I shot the perp and went to help you, but you started hitting me, and now here we are."

"Oh" I blurt out, putting the pieces together in my head.

And That's when Voight and the rest of the team rush in and over to my side.

"What happened? Is he hurt?" Haley quickly asks, kneeling next to my head. Tony carefully lets go of me, enabling me to move. He runs his hands across the back of my head, checking for any sign of injury.

"I don't think so" he says, giving me one of those looks, which mean that he'll cover for me, as long as I don't do anything stupid. I smile and announce that I'm alright. I try to get up, only to get a dizzy spell and falling back down again.

"Call an ambulance" Voight states, only to be interrupted by my explanation of why I don't need medical attention. After I talk for about a minute, he finally gives up and helps me get up. "Alright, come on, kid" he says, guiding me down the stairs. "But if I see you wince one time, I'm driving you straight to Med, got it?"

I decide to go with it and nod.

As soon as we get outside, I walk over to our SUV, trying to seat in the driver's seat. "Forget it" Voight states, closing the door in front of my face. "You're coming with me." I let my mouth fall open in disbelief, forcing Voight to continue "And you are definitely not driving."

"Watch me" I say, trying to open the door, only to almost get my fingers slammed into the door.

Voight's P.O.V.

"Yeah, there's no way of that happening, kid" I state, refusing to budge, pointing at my car. "Get in the car."

Jay sighs in frustration, rolling his eyes in the process, making sure I notice, before almost ripping the passenger door off my car and violently sitting down. And in case you were wondering, yes, he also makes sure to slam the door closed as loudly as he possibly can. Can't say I didn't see that coming.

Now I'm the one rolling my eyes, sharing a look with Ruzek who's laughing at Jay, apparently finding his pouting extremely hilarious.

Twenty silent and very awkward minutes, we finally arrive to the bullpen. At first, I thought that Jay was too busy pouting to say anything, but when he didn't jump out of the car, before I even turned the engine off, I realized that he had actually completely zoned out.

"Jay?" I ask carefully, making him jump as if he had just burnt himself. "You good, kid?"

"What?" he asks, as if he has no idea to what I'm referring, which worries me a bit. Maybe I should've taken him to Med after all.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I ask again, hoping that he remembers the events from the past half an hour.

"Yeah" he says after a long pause. "Yeah, I'm good." And then he finally jumps out of the car, rushing up the stairs and out of my sight.

"What was that all about?" Al asks me once I get out myself.

"I have no idea" I admit "but I'm guessing he's not as okay as he wants us to believe."

Al gives me a nod, but doesn't say anything else.

Al's P.O.V

It's been a couple of hours since we got back from the warehouse, and I have just realized that I haven't seen Jay in about an hour. The thought itself makes my heart jump a little, so I decide to look for him. Obviously, I decide to give the kid a break and don't ask Voight if he's seen him. Maybe such an act of kindness will trick Jay into telling me what's really going on.

I find him sooner than I thought I would. And in a quite unusual way. At least for Jay.

I find him sleeping on the couch in the coffee room. Yes, sleeping. Well, it's not exactly a peaceful nap, since he looks like he's having a nightmare, but at least I know he's not knocked out, right? I walk up to him, wondering whether or not I should dare to touch his shoulder, deciding that my self defense probably won't win against against a freaked out Jay. I call his name a few times instead, managing to wake him up on the sixth try.

He immediately sits up, breathing heavily, making me realize what's happening to him. Damn it, how did I not think of this sooner?

"Jay?" I ask him once again, since he has yet to come to his senses and figure out where he is. "You're okay, buddy. Deep breaths. It was just a nightmare."

He finally looks at me, but the look in his eyes doesn't make me any less worried than I was two seconds ago. On the contrary, it makes me slightly more scared, since Jay looks as if he's about to lose it.

"What's wrong, kid? Talk to me" I beg as kindly as I possibly can, not succeeding at all.

"Nothing" Jay states, getting up and starting to walk away. I go after him, hoping to get him to reconsider.

"Doesn't seem like it, buddy. Come on, let's have a talk." I catch up with him, and put a hand on his shoulder. He immediately shrugs it off and looks at me with a frantic look.

"Get off me! I'm going to get some air!" he yells, getting everyone's attention, before storming out. I weigh my options and decide not to follow him.

Voight's P.O.V.

"How could I not notice this?!" I ask, frustrated by the fact that I haven't noticed Jay's PTSD. Al has just come in to tell me that the kid's having some problems again. I thought he was doing better… I guess I was wrong. Apparently he stormed out of here about twenty minutes ago, right after Al had woken him up from a nightmare. I don't know about you, but that makes my chest clench up a bit.

"Don't bite your head off" Al says, hoping to make me feel less guilty. "None of us did."

I try my hardest to believe him, but I'm too busy about my detective at the moment. "Where do you think he is?"

Al takes a few moments before answering my question. "No idea." Well, that's not the answer I was hoping for. "Maybe he'll come back later" he continues, although I have a sense he's lying to himself. "Maybe he just needs to clear his head."

I sure hope so.

"What should we d-"

My question is interrupted by my phone which starts ringing all of a sudden.

"Sorry" I apologize to my friend, before picking up, not bothering to check the caller ID. "Voight."

The response makes my heart drop.

"Wait, wait, wait" I blurt out, realizing I was too busy panicking to actually listen to what the person was saying.

"My name's officer Jansen. I'm calling to inform you that one of your detectives was involved in a fight and is no-"

"Where?" I cut him off, wanting to check on Jay as soon as possible. There's no doubt in my mind it's him. It has to be. Damn it, kid. I just hope he's not hurt.

"Michigan Avenue Bridge" he answers.

"Tell him to stay put. I'm on my way."

I hang up, earning a questioning look from Al who had been listening in.

"It's Jay."

That's all I need to say. He understands.

"Go" he nods, and I rush past him, knowing that the rest of my team is in good hands.

"Voight's P.O.V

"What the hell happened?" I ask running up to one of the officers on scene.

"According to the witnesses, he saw Santiago from across the street and started running after him. He tackled him and they fought for a few minutes." The officer takes an iPad out of his pocket and hands it to me. "Here, you can watch the video." I shoot him a quizzical look, so he explains that the whole ordeal was recorded by one of the by-passers. I press play, and wince almost immediately as Jay receives a hard blow to the stomach. And then another one. And another one. And then, he's pushed into the metal railing at the side of the road, head first. It's obvious that he was trying to defend one of the women, who had just been robbed. Of course. Sounds like something Jay would do. He just happened to get into a fight with someone rather strong.

I decide I've seen enough for now and pause the video. "Where is he?" I ask the EMTs who have joined me and the officer seconds before.

"Um... well..." the officer stalls, making my chest clench up in worry.

"Where's my detective?" I ask in a more demanding tone, making him take a step back.

"Well… he, um... he left" he finally spills, making my heart drop.

"WHAT?! What do you mean he left?!" I yell in his face, furious with the lack of judgment.

"He refused medical attention, despite our efforts to keep him put" one of the EMTs answers, visibly scared for his life.

"Well how bad was it?" I ask the him, demanding an honest answers.

"Some cuts and bruises, probably a couple of broken ribs and a very likely a concussion. Other than that, I'm afraid I can't tell. He didn't exactly let us examine him" he concludes his brief observations.

"How the hell could you let him leave?! He was injured!" I yell out of worry for the kid.

"He didn't exactly give them a choice" the officer cuts in, trying to defend the EMTs and failing terribly. "He said that he was in a hurry and walked off."

I sigh, deciding there's no point in going off at the officer. "Damn it, kid. Where'd you go?" I whisper, looking around and accepting the fact that there's only one person who can help me at this point.

Will's P.O.V.

"What do you mean he left?!" I just about scream into my phone, making Voight sigh at the other end of the line.

"I mean what I said. He refused medical attention, signed the papers and walked off" Voight repeats his previous statement, probably trying not to piss me off any more than Jay already has. "Just try and find him, will you?" he adds, reminding me of the fact that my very likely concussed brother is wondering the streets of Chicago. By himself. In the middle of the night.

Great. Good job, Jay.

I get Rhodes to cover my shift and rush into my car, constantly trying to reach Jay on his cell. I don't succeed though.

Hours later, after having driven around most of Chicago and paying a visit to every hospital I could think of, I get another call from Voight. A part of me is afraid of picking up, fearing the words I might hear.

"Is he alive?" I ask immediately, my voice trembling.

"He's at your place" Voight quickly answers my question, making me breathe a little easier. I slam my brakes, making a U turn and speeding towards my apartment as fast as I can, without risking my life too much.

"Wait. How do you know that? Where'd you find him?" I blurt out, quite confused by the new piece of information.

"I didn't" Voight answers, confusing me even more. "He finally picked up his phone and told me where he was." Okay, that makes sense. And it means that Jay's not unconscious, so there's that. "I'm about 20 minutes away right now, so I can go get him if you want" he offers kindly.

"No, that's okay. I'm closer than you. I got him" I answer bluntly and step on my gas pedal a little harder.

"Okay" Voight agrees. "Call me if you need anything."

"Yeah, thanks" I conclude and hang up. "Damn it, Jay. Why did you have to do this, huh?" I ask no one in particular.

Eight minutes later and more broken laws than I can count later, I'm running up the stairs of my apartment building, trying not to trip over. "Please be okay, please be okay" I beg, right before rounding the last corner.

I immediately notice the slumped form leaning against the wall.

He appears to be unconscious, and I can feel my heartbeat spike. I run towards him, dropping on my knees next to him.

"Jay? Jay!" I yell, shaking him gently. He doesn't respond. Hell, he doesn't even stir. By now, my chest is all clenched up. I switch into doctor mode, checking his pulse and breathing, finding both to be within normal range. Thank god. I quickly check him over for any visible injuries, luckily not finding too many. There are definitely some broken ribs and nasty cuts and bruises, but other than that, he seems unhurt. I'll take it. Just as I'm about to check his pupils, he moans, startling me in the process. "Jay? It's okay, buddy. Take it easy."

"Will?" he asks, completely dazzled to see me. That's not a very good sign, since he's sitting in front of my apartment. He must've hit his head pretty badly.

"Yeah, kiddo, it's me" I say, discreetly comparing both of his pupils. Luckily, they're the same size and equally responsive. "How ya feeling buddy?"

"M'kay" he slurs back.

Of course he is. Duh. How could I be so stupid? This is Jay Halstead we're talking about.

My brother is also soaking wet, since it's pouring outside. He's shivering severely, which is actually a good thing, since it means he's probably not severely hypothermic.

"How about we get you inside, huh? Can you walk?"

"Mhm" he moans back, so I help him to his feet, taking most of his weight. I kick my door open and guide him straight to my bathroom. I know I won't be able to get him to walk again if I allow him to sit on the couch. By the time we get to my bedroom, I'm completely dragging him, since he's stopped walking all together.

"Okay, there you go" I say, sitting him on the edge of my bath as gently as I can. "Let's get you out of these clothes before you freeze to death, okay?"

"You can't freeze in Afghanistan" Jay laughs at me, making my heart stop. What the hell is he talking about? I hope it's just the concussion.

"Do you know where you are, buddy?" I ask, kindly.

"Inside a dream" he answers, bluntly. I seriously consider calling an ambulance, before he bursts out laughing "Your bathroom." Oh thank god. He was messing around. I wanna punch him so badly right now… Instead, I pull all of his clothes off, except for his underwear, allowing him to keep some of his dignity. I really need to warm him up, but I have no intentions of leaving him alone in the bathroom. I have no desire to watch him drown in my bathtub. No thank you. "Come on, get in the bath."

Ten minutes later, he finally stops shivering, so I help dry him off. "Wait here. I'll go get you some clothes" I state, walking out of the room. By the time I get back, Jay's standing and giving me a look.

"What?" I ask, wondering what this is about.

"I can get dressed by myself, you know?"

"Oh, really? Cause I'm pretty sure you were passed out on my doorstep fifteen minutes ago."

"Get out" he laughs, taking the sweats out of my hand.

Jay's P.O.V.

As soon as I walk out of the bathroom, I notice Will staring at me with worry.

"Thanks for the clothes" I say, hoping to get out of the lecture I know I'm about to have. Will just keeps staring at me. "I'm okay, Will" I try again, but he cuts me off.

"Shut up."

"Will-

"I said shut up. You're not going anywhere tonight, so you might as well get comfortable" he says pointing at his bed. I give up, since I honestly don't have the energy to fight, and sit on the bed. "Thank you" he says, sarcastically, bringing his advanced first aid closer and sitting on a chair right in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I ask once he starts taking equipment out of the box.

"Examining you properly and deciding whether or not I should take you to the hospital."

That shuts me up. He's really worried about me. I can tell.

I allow him to check my pulse, blood pressure, and clean all of my cuts, which he does while joking around. That's what I've always loved about him. He has a way of making his patients laugh no matter how horrible they're feeling. I don't know who he gets it from. Maybe no one. Maybe it's completely his own. I know I don't have it, and dad sure as hell didn't have it either. Will continues his examination with all of the 'concussion questions', before he finally stops.

"What's really going on with you, Jay?" he asks completely seriously.

"What do you mean?" I ask, trying to look innocent.

"Don't play dumb, Jay" Will warns me. "Don't think I haven't noticed the bags under your eyes. And how jumpy you are even though you're safe. And how you thought you were back in Afghanistan again."

He stops talking. Probably noticing how pale my face has gotten in just seconds.

"Talk to me, Jay" he begs, so I do. I start telling him about the horrifying nightmares I've been having, and before I know it, I'm crying hysterically.

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay" Will says, scooting closer to me and hugging me tight. "I've got you."

"It's horrible, Will. I don't know what's real anymore" I sob out, before crying some more. "Everything feels so wrong. I just- I can't stop thinking about it. About what a horrible person I am."

"Ssh" Will says, tightening his embrace to the point where he might actually crush me. "Don't say that. You're an incredible person, buddy. I've always admired you, and other people do too."

And I just start sobbing uncontrollably.

"Try to take some deep breaths, buddy" Will instructs me, having noticed my gasping and wheezing. "It's all going to be okay, Jay, I promise."

"I'm just so tired" I whine, and Will starts rubbing my back in circles.

"I know, buddy, I know you are. Just relax. You're okay."

He keeps talking until I calm down and the tears stop flowing. That's when he finally lets me go and gives me a once over.

"You okay?" he asks, and I know that he really means it. He's not judging me for crying. He's also not judging me for getting hurt once again, and he's also not angry that I didn't tell him I was having a hard time. He's just being a protective brother, who's trying to be there for me. And I'm thankful for it.

I nod.

He smiles.

"I'll go get you some milk, okay?" he says, walking towards the door. "Don't. Move."

We both laugh a little. I know what he means, and I'm actually gonna listen to him for once in my life.

A few minutes later, he returns with a glass of milk in his hand and gives it to me. "You still like it cold, right?" he asks.

I chuckle. "I can't believe you still remember that." I used to only drink milk out of the fridge when we were little. Even when I was sick. Or scared. Or sad. It always had to be cold.

"Of course I do. How could I forget?"

We sit in silence for a while, as I drink the milk. I'm aware of the fact that Will's constantly watching me, as if I were about to break, and I can't say I blame him. Suddenly, he takes the glass from my hand and puts it on the nightstand.

"Lift up you sleeve" he orders me, and sadly, I obey before actually considering my options. My brother quickly rubs a spot on my arm with a wipe that smells scarily similar to disinfectant.

On second thought, it probably is an antiseptic. At least if the syringe in Will's hand is anything to go by.

»What's that?« I ask, motioning towards the terrifying pointy object, sliding away from it as discreetly as humanly possible. You see, I've been quite scared of needles for the better part of my life, which makes this a very unpleasant situation. Will is the only person who's ever been able to give me a vaccine without making me lash out completely. You know, at least if I'm actually conscious. Something tells me today's gonna be different as I'm already on the verge of losing my mind. I can feel my heart speeding up by the second, probably nearing a panic attack in the close future.

»Midazolam« my brother interrupts the silent freaking out I'm experiencing.

»Mida-what?« I ask completely lost, but the needle quickly pierces my skin before I can get an answer and the next thing I know the warm fluid spreads around my body.

"It's a sedative" Will finally answers my qu6estion, making my heartbeat spike even more in panic and fear, and if it weren't for the extreme sleepiness I'm suddenly feeling in ever single inch of my body, I probably would've gotten mad. Instead, I give him another confused look and realize that he's gently pushing my shoulders backwards for whatever reason. "Come on, buddy. Lie down."

"Why'd you give me a sedative?" I ask with a slight slur, hoping to at least get an explanation before this thing knocks me out.

"You're exhausted. You need to rest" he explains in a tone he would normally use on a five ear old girl. It's true. I haven't slept through the night in months.

"Nnn" I try my best to disagree, but apparently the sedatives not only make me sleepy, but also make me much weaker than my brother, therefore he successfully pushes me into his pillow.

"Ssh, it's okay. Just relax" Will say, before adding "I'm not going anywhere. You're safe."

Apparently, the word safe had become my lifeline at some point in time, so I finally let the extreme exhaustion take me.

"You did a good thing today, buddy" Will says in a barely audible whisper. "Just, next time, please try not to kill yourself, okay? I can't lose you."

The end.

There it is. A short one-shot, based on a few of your suggestions. I hope you liked it, because I'm not exactly proud of it. Hopefully, the next one will be better.

I've starting the second semester, which means, I'll probably be quite busy from now on. I can't promise when the next chapter/story will be up, but I'll try my best. Like I said, I also have more doctors appointments (that I'm quite scared and worried about) coming up tomorrow, which could potentially lead to further appointments… Anyway, I hope you liked it. Please leave me a review if you have the time, as they really do mean a lot.

Have a wonderful day.

Love, N