Hey again :)
Thank you so so so much for all the positive feedback and thank you for the good wishes. I wish every single one of you all the best. You make my day every singe time.
I couldn't sleep last night, so I ended up writing another chapter. Yaay me. (Keep in mind this was written at three in the morning, so I apologize for any mistakes). I still haven't quite decided where I'm taking this story. I always just play it by ear as I go.
I hope you like it.
PART 2
Jay's P.O.V.
I am freezing cold. And when I say freezing, I mean I'm literally colder than ice.
I hear voices all around me, though I can't quite make out what they're saying. There is also a very strange feeling inside of me, making me wonder exactly what's going on at the moment.
"J-...-ook a-...-nd... eye-...ay."
What on Earth is that supposed to mean? Could you possibly speak any less clearly? Whose voice is this anyway? I'm so confused.
Wait. Where am I?
I can feel my heart pounding inside my chest. Alright, no need to panic. What's the last thing I remember?
I was at the... umm... no wait I was going-. Damn it, why am I so confused? And tired? I'm honestly starting to freak out a bit, although I'm too out of it to care. It's kinda funny when you think about it-. Wait what was I going to say? I have no clue.
My thoughts keep getting fuzzier and fuzzier, but I can't find it in me to actually care.
Maybe I should sleep for a whil-.
Everything's shaking! Why is everything shaking?! Is there an earthquake? Oh come on, are you kidding me? I was just about to let myself slee-
"JAY!"
Man that was loud. Could you please keep it down? No need to scream in my ear, I can hear you just fine.
"st...he...min..."
Alright no need to mumble either.
I'm still shaking. Are earthquakes supposed to last this long? I wonder how much time the longest earthquake in history lasted. I could look that u-
Oh look, it stopped. Finally. I can sleep in peace now.
Will's P.O.V.
"Stop! Don't shake him" I yell at Ruzek, who is desperately trying to wake my brother up. "You can't move him, you could cause him to go into cardiac arrest." I can feel everyone tense up at my words, but I'm only telling them the facts. In my defense, I've just spent an hour searching for my unconscious brother, who happens to be lost in the middle of the forest. And I wasn't even the one to find him.
As soon as Ruzek yelled out that he had found Jay, I started running for my life. Or in this case, for Jay's life. I kept tripping over brunches and rocks, but I couldn't care less at this point. The only thing that mattered, was Jay. I was terrified of what I might find, and it turns out I had every right to be. He was lying in the snow, most of his legs and torso buried somewhere under the freshly fallen snow. He was neither shivering nor moving in any other way, and right now I wished he were pale. You see, Jay wasn't white. No. He was bright red and blue. His skin had a very nice red tone to it, which looked almost healthy, except it was caused by extreme cold. His lips on the other hand, were nowhere near red and were literally becoming more of a bluish color. I stood frozen in place, staring at the prone figure on the floor, who I refused to recognize as my brother, jut in case he was already dead.
"Get him out of the snow" Voight yells as soon as he reaches us, sort of snapping me out of my trans, however that only lasts until I actually see Jay.
"Oh my God" I whisper to myself.
Antonio's P.O.V.
The whole team was searching through the forest, hoping to stumble over our teammate, and Ruzek and I just happened to get lucky. Well, we managed to trip over Jay. Literally. Everything around us is either white or dark green. It's pitch black outside, since it's 5 in the morning and on top of everything, it's been snowing like crazy, which makes visibility much worse. It's almost impossible to find anything out here, let alone an unconscious person.
I was yelling for Jay, when Ruzek suddenly face-planted into the snow. At first, I thought he simply tripped over a rock or something, but it turns out it was Jay. Due to the blizzard, snow had completely covered Jay's body, which means we never would've found him if Ruzek hadn't walked right into him. That's a scary thought I refuse to acknowledge.
I immediately started digging Jay's face out of the snow, praying that he was still alive and breathing. I could hear Ruzek yell something, but was too busy checking for a pulse, to listen. I was greeted with a very slow and shallow thump, but it was the most amazing thing in the world. I soon realized I had no idea what to do, so I decided to try waking Jay up, hoping his brother would reach us soon and use his medical knowledge to help.
"Jay? Can you hear me, bro?" He didn't even stir, so I kept going. "Look at me, Halstead. Jay! Can you open your eyes for me Jay?" No, still nothing.
Ruzek was now kneeling next to me, trying to come up with something to do. Anything. Just to make himself feel useful in this helpless situation.
"Is he breathing?" Adam asked quietly, probably fearing the answer. I leaned down to listen and almost died, waiting for the shallow wheeze to come. It took about 15 seconds, which is way to long, but hey, I can't complain. I'll take what I can get. "It's shallow and slow, but he's breathing" I announced to Ruzek. That's when Al and Atwater showed up.
"Please tell me he's alive" Al almost begged. I gave him a quick nod, too freaked out to actually use my voice. Ruzek leaned over Jay and shook him by his shoulders, trying to wake him up.
And that is when the other pale and terrified Halstead brother ran up to us, yell at Ruzek and then stopped dead in his tracks.
He just stood there, staring at the scene in front of him, probably not believing what he was seeing. I can't say I blame him. And now, here we ar-
"Get him out of the snow" Voight yells, startling me.
How could I be this stupid?! Why didn't I think of that?! I just left Jay, buried in the snow, as if he wasn't already way too cold. What the hell was I thinking?!
I immediately get up and start pushing the snow off of Jay's legs and torso, noticing Will has yet to move. Another thing that catches my eyes is the fact that Jay's only wearing his pajamas. A very thin shirt, a pair of sweatpants and socks. That's it. No shoes. No jacked. No gloves. Nothing. How is he still alive?
"You gonna just stand there or are you going to help us?" I ask Will, not bothering to look at him. He doesn't react. Instead he keeps staring at his brother wide-eyed. "Will." I try again, but he doesn't seem to hear me, so I resort to screaming. "Will, snap out of it! What do we do?!"
Will's P.O.V.
I finally pull myself together and drop down next to my unconscious brother. Before I can even start my brief examination, Antonio tells me that Jay's still breathing, which means he's still alive. Barely, but alive nevertheless.
"Good, that's good." I whisper, checking his pulse anyway. "Hang in there, Jay. Voight, give me the thermometer, I need to take his temperature."
Voight searches through my bag and quickly passes me the thermometer. I press it into Jay's ear and anxiously wait for it to beep. "78.8. That's way too low."
Everyone pauses for a second, not sure what to do with themselves.
"Alright, Al call an ambulance and have them meet us on the way. Voight, go back to the car and put the seats down to make as much flat space as you can. And turn on the heat." He nods and rushes back the way we came from. "Everyone else help me lift him up and carry him to the car."
"Wait, didn't you say we can't move him?" Ruzek asks, remembering my previous words.
"I did, but he doesn't have much time" I answer softly. "Alright Ruzek and Atwater take one side, Antonio and I will take the other. Gentle does it, guys. His heart could stop at any time."
"Alright, on three" Antonio takes lead of the situation. "One, two-"
We carefully lift Jay's limp body out of the snow and walk back towards the cars as fast as we can. I never take my eyes off Jay's chest, monitoring his breathing.
About ten minutes later, we finally reach the cars. Al opens the trunk of Voight's car and helps us get Jay inside on top of a warm blanket they've spread out. "Al and Antonio, you're gonna help me, Voight can drive, while Adam and Atwater take the other car" I order, jumping inside of the trunk next to Jay. The others do as I said, both cars immediately rushing towards the hospital. Al keeps a steady flow of soothing words while I force myself to play the doctor, even though I would much rather be a worried and terrified older brother right now.
"Let's lay him flat on his back and cut off all of the wet clothes" I instruct the detectives, who immediately get to work. Al rips Jay's soaking wet shirt in half, pulling it from under him. Antonio grabs the scissors from my bag and does the same to Jay's pants and pulls his socks off, leaving him only in his boxers. I grab the penlight and carefully lift Jay's eyelids to check his pupils. They're unresponsive and dilated. Shit.
"Check his fingers and toes for frostbite" I order, checking my brother's pulse and BP again. The're both getting lower. His breathing seems to be more and more irregular and shallow as well. If his condition keeps deteriorating, I'll have no choice but to intubate and begin CPR.
"They seem fine" Antonio announces and Al joins his conclusion. Great, at least Jay's still going to have all of his fingers and toes if he doesn't make it. Shut up, Will. You can't think like that.
"Good. Dry him off with a blanket. I need to take his temperature again." Waiting for the thermometer to beep seems to take forever. When it finally does, my heart sinks. "Damn it. It dropped down to 75." Both detectives stare at me in shock. I quickly grab all the warm compresses I can find and place them on Jay's neck, chest, armpits and groin. "Alright let's wrap him up with the rest of the blankets."
Less than a minute later, my brother looks more like a burrito than anything else, since he's covered with blankets from head to toe. The only thing still visible is his blue face. I keep staring at him to monitor his breathing, since there's a very good chance it might stop altogether.
I notice one of Al's hands is lost somewhere inside the blankets. He catches my confused look and gives me a sad smile.
"I'm keeping an eye on his pulse" he pauses "otherwise I'm afraid I might go insane." I'm not sure if he's actually checking his pulse or simply holding Jay's hand, and I honestly don't care. Whatever he's doing, I'm thankful. I know everyone on the team is like a second family to Jay, which makes them my family too. I nod appreciatively and return the smile.
"How is he?" Voight asks from the front seat, unable to see what's happening.
"He's holding his own" I say, looking at my brother. "You're a tough cookie, aren't you? Just hang in there, Jay, and we'll do the rest. Deal?" I am well aware of the fact that I'm talking to myself, but maybe Jay can still hear my voice even though he seems unconscious. If I'm helping him just one bit, I've done my job.
"Sirens" Al states, startling me.
"What?" I ask completely confused.
"I can hear sirens. The ambulance must be close" he explains.
"Alright, I'm going with him to the hospital. You guys can go bac-"
"We'll be right behind you" Voight states, clearly having no intention to budge. I can't say I'm not happy they're coming, because I really don't feel like going through this alone and Jay'd want them there.
"Thanks for everything guys" I say with as big of a smile as I can manage right now.
"Of course. He's family" Voight states, earning a smile from Al.
"Keep an eye on him for us" Antonio says, so I nod.
Voight slams the brakes, almost making me fall on my face. The trunk door is almost ripped off the car to reveal an awaiting gurney. We transfer Jay as gently as possible over to the gurney together with all of the blankets. On top of everything we wrap him into the space blanket to keep the heat from escaping, and pull the safety straps across his legs and chest. Before I know it, we're inside the ambulance, speeding towards Med.
"What happened?" the paramedic asks me while checking Jay's vitals. For the first time in my life, I'm incredibly thankful that I'm friends with most of the paramedics. It has a calming effect on this otherwise stressful situation. Plus they let me help in any way I can instead of having to sit in silence, watching my brother fade.
"He called me saying he fell. I was on the phone with him for about an hour and a half. He was shivering and seemed confused. He couldn't remember how he got there and couldn't tell if he was hurt or not. Our best guess is he was sleepwalking."
"This far out into the forest?" the paramedic wonders.
"He used to be a soldier" I explain trailing off.
"Oh, I understand. Possibly had something to do with PTSD."
"Yeah" I agree. "He lost consciousness about thirty five minutes ago and hasn't woken up since. His pulse was slow and irregular, BP was 82/40 and dropping, but he's breathing on his own. When we found him his temperature was 78.8. Last time I checked it had dropped down to 75."
"Do you think he hit his head?"
"I'm not sure. Based on the confusion… it's possible."
"Alright, put him on humidified oxygen and keep talking to him, while I do the rest" the paramedic instructs me, getting to work. He immediately sets up two IVs, one in each arm, and connects them to warm fluids to help bring Jay's temperature up, while I grab the oxygen mask, slipping it over his face. I keep a constant flow of comforting words going, not really paying attention to what I'm saying, while stroking Jay's hair. The paramedic connects Jay to the heart monitor and pulse oximeter to help keep track of his vitals. I can tell my brother isn't doing so hot just by the incredibly slow beeping sound.
"Damn it, his temperature keeps decreasing" the paramedic swears.
"How low is it?"
"72."
"Shit." That's all I can say. Jay can't do anything halfway, can he? "Let the hospital know we're gonna need either a CPB or ECMO. They need to be ready" I yell to the driver. I can hear him talking on the radio, while I focus back on Jay. The paramedic is listening to his breathing with a stethoscope, frowning.
"His breathing is too shallow and irregular." I can already see where he's going with this. "I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to intubate. He can't support his airway for much longer."
"I know" I whisper to myself. "It's okay, Jay, you're going to be just fine, hear me? You just keep fighting, okay?" I move out of the way, squeezing both of Jay's hands as hard as I can. The paramedic tilt's Jay's head back and shoves a tube down his throat. I close my eyes and wince, not wanting to have to go through this once again. The last time Jay ended up on a ventilator, it turned out to be a pure nightmare. I can't watch him go through that again. I notice the tears falling down my cheeks. I can hear the whooshing sound the ambu bag makes as it is squeezed in order to push warm air into my brother's lungs.
Suddenly, the heart monitor starts beeping and my eyes snap open.
"I need you to come here and squeeze this every five second, can you do that?" the paramedic asks me, referring to the ambu bag. I just stare at him in shock, allow myself a quick glance at the heart monitor and then look back at the paramedic. "Dr. Halstead" he says louder. "You need to help him or he's gonna die."
I quickly switch places with the paramedic and start breathing for my brother. "Don't you dare die on me Jay. Not like this. You've come this far, I'm not letting you give up now. Keep fighting."
"Be gentle, you don't wanna hurt him even more." Right. There's definitely no need for even more pain. I squeeze the ambu bag as gently as I possibly can.
Another alarm goes off.
"He's in V-fib" the paramedic announces and searches for a dose of epi. "What's the ETA?" he yells to the driver.
"7 minutes" he yells back.
"Make that 5."
The whole world seems to slow down, while I slowly squeeze the ambu bag over and over again. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Squeeze. Another change in the alarm makes my heart stop.
"No pulse, starting compressions."
To be continued...
If I'm being honest, I'd probably hate myself too right now. I am leaving you hanging with yet another cliffhanger. These two chapters haven't been the longest, but I have been craving writing so much that I'd rather post something short than nothing at all. I have no clue when I'm going to find the time to write the next chapter, but I promise, I will try my best.
Until then, I wish you all the best and thank you again for reading and sticking with me.
Love, N