Heey everyone :)

I'm so sorry for the delay (at least it wasn't my worst break ever), but I'm on a pretty long vacation, which means no computer and no WiFi for weeks... which makes writing a tiny bit difficult. Plus it's kinda hard to write while you're sightseeing. On top of that I had a writer's block, which didn't help. It was also my birthday, so I've been enjoying my life quite a bit lately. I really can't complain.

For those of you who have already started school I'm sorry (in case you don't like it very much, otherwise good for you school-lovers). If you're already in the world of adults then good luck with your jobs and families and anything else that I have no idea about yet (since I still have the privilege of being a child who's on summer vacation).

Anyway I was kinda at a loss about where I wanna take this story (or this introduction for that matter), so I just went with whatever came to mind. I hope it doesn't dissapoint.

Enjoy :)

Part 4

Voight's P.O.V.

Something doesn't seem right.

And it's not just all the scarry words coming out of Dr. Choi's mouth.

I notice Jay's brother is looking deathly pale and his breathing seems to be hitching. I decide to keep a close eye on him just in case. Even though he's not part of the team, I know how close the brothers have become, which makes it my responsibility to look after Will until Jay gets better.

"Will?" Choi asks, clearly just as concerned as me about the lack of words coming from his colleague. "Will, are you okay?"

He doesn't respond. Just keeps staring at the floor and wheezing. Everyone's attention is now on the older Halstead brother, probably not helping the situation whatsoever.

Choi immediately abandons his explanation to us non-doctors and crouches in front of his friend. "Will?" Still nothing. "Will, look at me" he says, gently patting his knee. He still doesn't get a reaction, so he resorts to shaking him a bit more. "Hey! Come on, look at me, Will."

All of a sudden Will jerks away, his eyes darting all over the place in fear.

"Hey, hey, relax" Choi soothes him "Everything's okay, Jay's alive." I notice he's still trying to make eye contact, but has backed off a little bit in order to give Will some space. "It's okay, I promise. Just relax." Choi follows Will's graze around the room and notices everyone staring at them. "It's okay, come on. Let's get you out of here."

Choi helps Will stand up very slowly and motions to us to follow. As soon as Will's standing, his knees buckle and I just barely manage to catch him before he falls on his face.

"Woah, kid, careful."

I shoot Choi a questioning look, which he dodges. Apparently he knows what's going on with Will, so I follow his lead and hold Halstead on one side, while he holds the other. Together we guide him into a much smaller and more importantly way more private room, which looks like some kind of a private waiting room. I'm guessing it's for family members of severely injured patients, who are about to learn that their loved ones didn't make it through surgery.

I just hope that's not going to be us in a couple of hours.

We plop Will down on the couch and Choi quickly grabs his wrist, discreetly checking his pulse. "I'll be right back, okay buddy? he says pretty loudly before standing up and turning to me. "Talk to him, but try not to touch him. Keep him calm" he whispers, before rushing outside.

"What's happening?" Antonio whispers, clearly just as confused as the rest of the team.

"No clue" I say, carefully moving towards Will and crouching in front of him just like Choi had done minutes before. My eart brakes for the kid. Will looks as if hehe's seen a ghost. Completely terrified and lost, so I just start talking randomly, hoping to offer him at least a bit of support on one of the absolute worst days of his life.

A couple of minutes later, Choi returns holding what looks like either juice or pee. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's the first. He pushes it into Wills unbelievably shaky hands and orders him to drink it. The cup also has a straw in, which is surprising since Will is neither a patient nor a kid. He finally starts drinking, while Choi helps him hold the cup as if he were afraid Will might drop it.

"Small sips" Choi whispers before looking at the rest of us. "This is what we give to patients suffering from shock."

"Shock?" Adam checks to make sure he heard him right. Choi nodds and returns his attention to Will.

"Yeah, it's been quite an eventful night."

I can't say I disagree. Will's had a rough couple of hours and considering he had just done a 16 hour shift... He was exhausted before Jay even called him and it just went downhill from there. To be honest, he lasted a long time before breaking.

"Is he gonna be okay?" I wonder, afraid of having ro explain to Jay that his brother also ended up in a hospital bed. I never wanna see that happen. Jay'd go crazy.

"Should be fine in a little while" Choi replies, waking me from my inner monologue. "Let's just try and keep all the stress as low as possible. I don't know how much more he can take."

Yeah, me neither.

After about ten minutes of coaxng, Will seems to be back to his normal self. Except extremely tired, though I would never dare to tell him to go home and sleep. If he's anything like Jay, that wouldn't go so well.

"You okay?" Choi asks, clearly pleased to receive a nod from Will. "Good. Just take it easy." He transfers his attention back to us and continues his previous explanation as if nothing had happened. "As I was saying, Jay's hanging in there for now. We'll know more once he's been placed on bypass-"

"Incoming!" Maggie's yell is heard from the ER at the exact same time as Choi's pager beeps.

"I'm really sorry, guys, but I have to go" he apologises, looking me straight into my eyes as if begging me to take care of Will.

I nod.

Will's family. Of course I'll make sure he's as okay as he can be with his brother's life hanging by a thread.

"Hang in there. And have Maggie page me if you need anything." I know he actually means 'call me if Will goes into shock again', but I don't say anything. "We'll keep you updated in case there's any news" Choi concludes before he rushes out the door.

I keep an eye on Will while we all sit in complete silence, hoping to receive some good news soon. I'm sort of tired of all of these bad updates we've been getting, so I pray that Jay get out okay.

Connor's P.O.V.

"Alright, his temperature's back up" I exhale in relief. It's been almost na hour sunce we've put Jay on bypass. Thank goodness Jay kept fighting. I don't know what I would've done if he had died on my table. "Let's take him off bypass and wait another twenty minutes to see if his temperature holds up."

I have been trying to ignore the thought of who's laying on the table in front of me. Ever since the first time I've had to treat Jay, I've been dreading having to tell Will something went wrong. I hate being in these situations, but Will's my friend. If it were my brother, I'd want Will to be the one treating him, so in this case, I have to step up and play my part.

I know Jay's not out of the woods yet at all. There's so much that could still go wrong. Anything from simple infections to brain damage or cardiac arrest. You can never be sure. For both Jay's and Will's sake, I hope nothing else goes wrong. I want Jay to wake up and immediately jump out of the bed as good as new or you know, at least complaining about when he can go home, but I know that's not very likely to happen.

"It's been twenty minutes" the nurse announces, so I glance at the monitor.

98.2

Thank god. "Alright, let's close him up and get him to post-op" I order, smiling slightly. He's one step closer to surviving. Beating the odds once again.

"Do you want me to update the family?" one of the nurses offers.

"No, thank you" I blurt out as quickly as I can. "I'll talk to them myself." Not entirely sure how, but I don't think I have a choice. It's better they hear it from me than from a random nurse.

Another fifteen minutes later all the wires, stitches and tubes are in place and Jay's finally ready to be taken to post-op. That also means I get to update Will. Wish me good luck.

I throw my bloody gloves into the trash and head for the waiting room.

"Hey" Choi yells from behind me, before running up to me. "Is he...?" I nod before he can finish the question. I know he's asking about Jay. "They're in the private waiting room" he continues.

I'm assuming he knows who I'm looking for, though I'm not sure why they're not in the regular waiting room where I left them a couple of hours ago.

Having noticed my confused expression, Choi looks around to see if anyone's listening. "Will sort of went into shock earlier..." he whispers and trails off. Damn it, poor Will. This must be hell for him. "Keep that in mind when you talk to him."

"Okay, I will. Thanks for the heads up."

After receiving a nod and smile from Choi, we go our seperate ways. Once I reach the correct door, I stop and take a deep breath before entering.

Even before I can get a single word out everyone shoots up from their chair and I'm bombed with at least a dozen of questions. I can't help but smile at how protective everyone is of Jay.

"He's okay" I say, letting out a chuckle.

The next few seconds are filled with different ways of expressing relief. Everything from exhales and tears to lauging. The whole spectrum of emotions.

Will's the only one who still looks as pale as a ghost and I know exactly why. He's a doctor and he knows things are never this simple. Especially in cases like Jay's.

"Let's have a seat so I can explain everything" I offer, pushing Will into the first chair I can find. Everyone else follows my lead, looking a bit more worried than they were three seconds ago.

"As you know, Jay was suffering from extremely severe hypothermia" I start, having decided to explain every little detail in order to avoid any confusion later on. Plus most of the people in the room are detectives, so... they want all of the facts they can get. "After all of the other rewarming methods failed to elevate Jay's temperature, we had to put him on bypass. Choi has already explainef to you how the procedure works, right?"

I receive a few nods.

"Open heart surgery" Adam adds confirming my assumptions. "I don't think I'll ever be able to forget those words."

I know how he feels. Scared. I have to be gentle with how I deliver the news. They're all Jay's family and they've all been through hell.

"Yes, that's right. We had to make an incision down the middle of Jay's chest in order to access his heart and connect the machine. After his blood was warm enough and we were able to take him off bypass, we wired his sternum closed. These wires will stay in forever, but shouldn't cause him any pain." I stop for a few seconds to check if anyone looks like they need to puke yet. Every member of Jay's team is staring at me in shock, while Will is examining the tile on the floor. He looks ready to either cry or pass out.

I know none of this is news to him, since he's a doctor an knows exactly how these procedures work. The reason for his fear comes from knowing all the possible complications and horrible outcomes of situations like this and that sucks whenever your loved ones are the patients.

Not wanting to provoke another meltdown, I get up and grab a water bottle, shoving it into Will's hands. He seems completely absent. Almost as if he were catatonic. I stand next to him until he finally makes eye contact with me.

"Drink" I order, and after a few confused moments he seems to remember what the word 'drink' means and starts to figure out how to open a bottle with extremely shaky hands. I save him from his misery and unscrew it for him. He greedily accepts the water, so I sit back down and continue the rundown of horrible procedures Jay had to go through.

"He also has three chest tubes in place to drain any fluid from around his heart, but that's just a precaution" I say offering everyone a sympathetic look. This must be breaking their hearts. "The sedatives haven't worn off yet, so Jay's still sleeping. We're keeping him on the vent for at least the next few hours until he can breathe well enough on his own-"

"Why wouldn't he be able to breathe?" Voight questions.

"It's normal for patients who have had open heart surgeries to have some difficulties breathing at first, especially if they had to be on bypass. It's nothing to worry about. He should come off the vent a few hours after he wakes up."

Voight nods, so I'm guessing he understands. There's no reaction from the others though.

"The small grey wires on his chest are pacing wires, which help pace his heart in case it gets too slow. Those will come off in a few days. The feeding tube prevents nausea and will be taken out as soon as Jay's off the vent. He'll stay in the ICU for at least 48 hours for close monitoring, but we'll see as we go. No need to worry about that yet" I conclude. "I think that's about it."

"Already? You sure?" Adam asks sarcastically, which earns him a couple of smiles.

I nod, turning my attention to the pale shaky person next to me.

"Will, can I talk to you for a sec?" After receiving a nod from my colleague, I gently guide him outside and into one of the empty break rooms, where we can have some privacy.

"How are you holding up?"

He just shoots me a glare, clearly not interested in talking to me about nonsense. For my own safety I decide not to push it.

"I wanted to talk to you about something..." I trail off, not entirely sure how to continue this converstion. I have a feeling I'm not going to achieve anything, but I have to give it a go. "With all the chest tubes and the ET tube Jay currently has in place and considering how he reacted the previous time he woke up on a vent, I had no choice but to put him in soft restraints, just to be on the safe-"

"No" Will cuts me off. "Absolutely not. Take them off. He's going to be freaked out as it is, no need to terrify him even more. And besides, I'm gonna be there to keep him from touching anything."

"I understand, but it's hospital policy for patients undergoing cardiac surgery-"

"I don't give a damn about policy" he states. "You can do whatever you want, but I'm taking them off."

I can't argue against that. And I can't say I didn't see it coming either. These are the Halstead brothers after all. One more stubborn than the other.

"Okay," I agree, hoping to seem supportive. "How about we make a deal? You can take them off as soon as he's awake enough to understand not to touch anything."

"Okay, fine" Will says after a while, clearly very impatient and not in the mood for arguing about this.

"Okay. He's still in post-op and it's against policy, but considering the circumstances you can go sit with him if you like."

"Trust me, Connor, I'd go sit with him whether you let me or not."

Figures.

Will's P.O.V.

I can't help but wince at the sight of my brother.

He's motionless on the hospital bed, which is at a 45 degree angle to make him as comfortable as possible once he actually wakes up. You know... if he wakes up.

All of the tubes and wires connected to him never used to scare me, but that's changed. Every single one of them terrifies me. The ET tube shoved down his throat, the three huge invasive chest tubes, the pacing wires, the feeding tube... Even the catheter coming from under the sheet and the IVs and central line seem more dangerous than they should.

The four smaller pieces of gauze mark all of the incision sites where chest tubes used to be during surgery, but the most horrifying is the large gauze in the middle of Jay's chest. It hides the incision used to access my little brother's heart. And that's scarry.

Jay's still very much unconscious, but his vitals are holding up, which is good. It's more than I could ask for.

After about an hour and a half in post-op, Connor announces thst Jay's ready to be moved down to ICU. He even lets me help move all of the machines Kay's connected to. Not that he really had a choice.

The ICU room is a good ten degrees warmer than the rest of the hospital, reminding me of exactly how close I came to losing my brother once again.

After all of the equipment is set up and everybodey else leaves, I plop down into the uncomfortable chair, take a hold of Jay's cold hand and wait for what feels like an eternity. I am reminded of exactly how much I hate sitting in these chairs and how much I hate watching my brother in the hospital beds. The last time he was in here sucked, but I gotta admit, today sucks way more.

Nurses keep coming in to check on Jay, and about two hours later, Connor joins them.

"Hey, Wil-"

"Why isn't he awake yet?" I ask as soon ad he walks through the door.

He allows himself a small pause before replying. "You know how unpredictable these things are. There's no way of knowing when..." he trails off.

"But he should be awake by now, right?" I don't let up.

He inhales deeply. "Yes, I thought he'd be, but maybe he needs a little more rest." I stay quiet. "If he doesn't wake up in the next twho hours, I'll order some more scans to see what's going on."

I nod.

"Listen... his team would like to see him. Would you mind?"

"Send them in" I state, having lost the energy to do anything other than stare at my brother.

"Okay."

Ten minutes later, Voight walks in. To my surprise he's alone. He doesn't say anything. He just walks up to the other aide of the bed, grabs Jay's other hand and sits down.

And we sit in silence. For hours.

They end up taking Jay for some scans which come back clear, but Jay still doesn't awake. I'm still gripping his hand tightly and I've been talking to him about anything that came to mind. Just like I did in the car. And so many times before when he was at the hospital. I know that Voight's been watching me like a hawk, but I chose to ignore him. All I care about is Jay.

Neither of us leave Jay's side. Maybe if we keep holding on, he will too.

After another six very long and scarry hours, the fingers inside my hand finally twitch.

To be continued...

So this is going to have to be it for now. It's literally three in the morning where I'm at, so I'm dead tired. I hope my tiredness didn't affect it too much...I'll try to post again soon. Thank you for sticking with me and reading. I hope you liked it, please let me know what you thought of it. I live for your reviews (quite literally).Good night/good morning/good afternoon.Love, N