Hello again :)

I'm happy to say I have managed to write another chapter in less than a month. Yaay me. I hate having to keep you waiting, since I know what it's like. I would've posted something sooner, but I'm still on vacation, both my reception and WiFi suck, storm Ali hit us quite strong (not great) and on top of that, I got sick (also not great).

To all of you who leave me reviews every single time I post, I could never thank you enough. All of the honest and sometimes very hillarious reviews make my day every time. Your positive feedback and best wishes keep me going, so thank you once again. You deserve all the best.

Thank you for all of your prompts and amazing ideas and I'm sorry if I don't include all of them. Sometimes I have different plans... Anyway thank you for saying I should work with the writers of the show. It means a lot. I would most certainly die if they offered me to write a single line for the show. Even if they offered me to carry their cups of coffee, I'd probably still die. Sadly, my world is so far from their world, therefore it probably won't happen. It's a perfect dream though. Until then, I'll just remain a simple country girl who's in love with writing FanFiction and watching Chicago shows. It's a good life.

Without further ado, I hope you like it :)

Part 5

Will's P.O.V.

"Jay?" I whisper carefully, trying not to startle him or give him a headache. "Can you hear me?"

He shifts on the bed, wincing at the pain he caused himself. Voight and I are up on our feet in a second, ready to face whatever's coming our way. Hopefully.

"Heeey, buddy, take it easy. You're in the hospital" I supply crucial information I think my brother would want to hear. His legs kick around a little, successfully getting tangled up under the sheet. His face scrunches up in pain once again, breaking my heart. "Careful, buddy, try not to move too much. Everything's okay, you're safe."

I want to hug him so bad, but I don't want to cause him any more pain, so I settle for gently running my fingers through his messy hair.

"Think you could open your eyes for a second? I promise I'll let you go back to sleep soon."

His doesn't react. Instead, he accidentally yanks at the restraints on his wrists, scaring himself if the spike in his heart rate is anything to go by. His eyes immediately snap open and focus on his hands as he gently tugs at the white straps, achieving absolutely nothing.

One of Voight's hands is resting on Jay's upper arm, while his eyes are cautiously travelling from my brother to me and back again. He lets me do the talking, but his touch is trying to offer support to his detective.

"Jay? Can you hear me, buddy?" I ask, gently squeezing his shoulder. He doesn't seem to acknowledge my presence. I share a concerned look with Voight, who rubs Jay's arm, trying to get his attention.

"You with us, kiddo? Jay. Can you look at me?"

He doesn't react to Voight either. Instead, the yanks of his wrists gain some more strength, seemingly expressing his fear and frustration.

Damn it. I knew this would happen.

I immediately grab hold of one of the straps to start unbuckling it and nod for Voight to do the same with the other one.

"It's alright, buddy, hang on. We'll get them off right away" I try to soothe my brother, who still has a distant look in his eyes and has yet to give us any sort of response that he can hear us.

Voight and I both rip off the white straps as fast as we can, hoping to save Jay from having a panic attack. He's been through more than enough already, there's no need to cause him more fear and pain.

Once the restraints are off, his hands start wondering around without actually knowing where they're going. Voight quickly yet gently grabs hold of both of them, before they can reach any of the tubes or wires and dislodge them. I can clearly see all the feathery love Voight has for my brother and I'm glad Jay has him in his life, since he was never really close with our father.

"Do you want me to go get Rhodes?" Voight offers, never taking his eyes off of my brother.

"No, it's okay. I don't want to frighten him even more. We got it."

He nods, continuing a soft and calming monologue of reassurance.

I'm so thankful he's here. Both for Jay and for myself.

I start fishing through my pockets, trying to find the penlight. In the meantime I allow myself to inspect the monitors surrounding Jay. His heart is racing a bit, but his BP and oxygen levels are within normal range. I'll take it.

"Can you look at me, Jay?" I ask again. Once I don't recieve a response, I flick the penlight over his eyes, noticing his pupils are dilated and not very responsive. That's not good. The strange part is that Jay doesn't flinch away from the harsh light. He doesn't seem to notice it at all actually, which is nothing like my normally very jumpy and hyperalert brother.

I frown, not pleased with the lack of response I'm receiving from him, so I decide to try something else. After snapping my fingers right next to his ears doesn't work, I resort to squeezing his hand as hard as I can.

Still nothing.

His eyes keep travelling around the room, not really seeing anything. This is.freaking me out a little. Uncovering his legs, I grab my pen and press it against one of his toenails, hoping pain stimuli would work.

It does.

Jay just about jumps on the bed, trying to get away from the pain I've just caused him. The problem is, that his eyes still don't fix on me. He stares at his feet as if they were the sole reason for pain.

"Why isn't he responding?" I whisper to myself, forgetting that the other coherent person in the room can probably hear me. He shoots me a concerned glare, to which I respond with an apologetic look.

"Come on, kiddo, look at me" Voight gives it a go, rubbing one hand on Jay's chest, careful not to touch the incision site. "Halstead! Look at me" he orders, still not achieving anything.

Right in that moment, the cuff around his arm decides to do one of its BP checkups and tightens.

And isn't that bad luck.

All of a sudden Jay's eyes start darting all over the place, as his arms go flying from Voight's hands. His heartbeat speeds up, which results in another alarm going off, scaring him even more.

"Hey, hey, it's okay" Voight soothes, successfully re-catching one of Jay's arms, while I grab a hold of the other one. "It's just your heart monitor, nothing to worry about. You're safe."

I stick a needle into Jay's central line and his eyes immediately roll back as he slips back into unconsciousness.

"What'd you give him?" Voight asks alarmed by the rapid turn of events.

"It's a mild sedative, just to help him sleep. We don't want him to get aggravated." He nods.

We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"Is this normal?" Voight asks after a while, referring to the strange reaction we've received from my brother. I take a minute to think about my response.

"I've never seen Jay react to anesthesia like this before..." It's far from the first time he's been in hospital, and sedatives never used to affect him this badly. Sure, he got agitated or nauseous, but this... this is freaking me out a little. Something else might be causing this confusion, but whatever it is, it can't be good. "Maybe he's got a concussion after all."

"Could it be PTSD?" Voight supplies, clearly trying to get to the bottom of this. He's got a point. We still have no clue how Jay ended up in the middle of the forest, so he very well might be caught up in some sort of a never-ending nightmare or flashback.

"It's possible" I respond. "Let's just wait for him to wake up again and see if he's more coherent."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about the state Jay appears to be in. He didn't seem to notice us at all, almost as if we weren't even there.

Voight's P.O.V.

I've been sitting in this highly uncomfortable plastic chair for almost 52 hours straight and let me tell you, my back is not happy about it.

This whole time, Jay has only woken up once and even then it was anything but calming.

I've never seen him so absent brfore and the distant, almost dead look in his normally spakrly eyes... not a pretty sight.

This whole situation is so messed up. First, I was only worried about him getting hypothermia, now, there's all sorts of things keeping me awake at night. Severe hypothermia, PTSD, concussion, possible brain damage, all of the tubes and procedures that I never even knew existed... Not to mention how many things can still go wrong, even though Jay's presumably safe.

I'm not even sure what that word means anymore. Safe. Jay's never safe, hasn't been for years and I don't only mean his job. He's always in danger of getting caught up in some messed up memories from the past that he has no control over.

It's scarry to think about. And it doesn't help that Will seems just as worried as me. You may think that's just because Jay's his little brother and he's being overprotective, but I can see the look on Connor and Ethan's face. They're all worried and it frightens me.

Beep.

I'm startled by one of the machines connected to the pale boy in front of me. Which one was it this time? The heart monitor, the one checking his oxygen levels, the one managing his breathing? I have no idea. None of the numbers seem to be flashing in red, so I'm guessing it wasn't anything life-threatening, which allows me to settle back down into my uncomfortable friend also known as the chair.

"You're gonna drive me nuts, kid" I say, tired of getting lost inside my head. It's not a safe place to be, especially for longer periods of time.

I'm alone with Jay at the moment, so the beeping and whooshing machines are the only things keeping me company. Rhodes finally managed to drag Will down to the cafeteria in order to eat something, since he's been refusing to do so for almost three days. Not that I've been any better. I've hardly left at all. Can you blame me? This kid's like a son to me.

"I figure you're my karma for all of the bad things I've done in life. You know?" In case you were wondering, I don't know what I'm trying to do. Jay's still very much unconscious, and unless the chair and machines count, I'm more or less talking to myself. "Always getting hurt and making me have a terrible backache... You're paying for my chiropractor when you wake up."

I glance at the clock. I have no clue what time it is, since the light's never go off in the ICU. You tend to lose sense of time. It's equally likely to be day and night. The outside world might as well be ending, and I wouldn't know.

It's just me and him. And the chair. And the terrifying machines keeping him alive.

"All this sleep doesn't really look good on you, kiddo, so how about you just wake up already and start annoying the life out of me. I won't even complain. I've already lost Justin, and then Erin... Don't be the third. There's so much left for you to live for."

Beep.

"What'd you say? You agree with me? Well thank you, heart monitor, I'm glad we're on the same page."

What am I doing? I'm talking to a machine. I'm definitely losing it.

Beep.

"You know what? I'm getting really tired of your boring respones. You could at least try to be more entertaining-"

Be-beep.

Well that was different. What was that? Do I need to start screaming for help or should I throw a wake-up party? How could these lines possibly mean anything other than 'he's alive'?

Beeep.

Yeah, that's definitely helping me. Thank you for that. What would I do without you?

I'm looking at the numbers on the screen, trying to spot the difference, when the person next to me squirms. I don't want to get my hopes up in case he's still sleeping, but at this point I can't help it. I clutch his hand as if my life depends on it.

"Jay?"

His eyes flutter almost immediately, making my heart jump a little. He's definitely waking up, I just hope he's not as out of it as he was the last time.

"Can you open your eyes, buddy?"

After quite a bit of struggle, he manages to peal his eyelids open and looks straight at me. I'm looking at tired and dazed, but undeniably kind eyes I've come to know so well over the last few years. I can't help but smile.

"Hey." I know he can hear me. I can see it in his eyes. "You've got to be kidding me. You sleep for three days straight and you choose the five minutes that your brother's not here to wake up. Unbelievable." I pause, trying to figure out if he understands what I'm saying or if he's just listening, trying to identify the words. "You're gonna have a lot of explaining to do once he comes back and don't expect me to clean up your mess. I've had to deal with him for three days, which is more than enough." I pause. "It's good to have you back though."

He blinks and just for a moment I can see the sparkle I've been missing so much. Sadly, it's soon overshadowed by fear and what I identify as pain.

His eyes squeeze shut and his face scrunches up just as an alarm goes off. I slam the call button on the wall and pray for somebody to get here as soon as possible. Preferably before Jay freaks out completely.

"Hey, calm down, buddy. Everything's okay, just relax." I look at him, trying to identify the cause of his discomfort. And that's when I understand.

He's discovered the breathing tube.

His hands fly up to his mouth, trying to pull out the tube. Luckily, I manage to peal his fingers away before he manages to do any damage.

"No, no, no. Leave that alone. It's helping you breathe."

His heart rate is dangerously high, which sets off another alarm. He's gagging around the invasive tube, trying to pull his hands out of my firm grip. Lucky for me, he's still way weaker than normal, courtesy of the pain meds. Since there's nothing I can do to help him, I beging a steady stream of soothing words.

I can hear footsteps running down the hallway, before Will bursts through the door, almost breaking it off, before stopping dead in his place. Rhodes is hot on his heals almost knocking his colleague over.

"What's happening?" Rhodes wonders hysterically, before noticing the struggle between Jay and I.

"I think somebody doesn't like that tube very much" I supply, never taking my eyes off of Jay.

Will's face lights up like a Christmas tree once he realizes his brother's awake and he immediately rushes over and puts his hands on Jay's cheeks.

"Jay? Can you hear me?"

I can hear the fear in his voice, knowing exactly what he's fearing.

PTSD, concussion, possible brain damage.

They're all legitimate fears, though Jay's eyes, which suddenly snap open, seem to do the trick and calm Will down in an instant.

"Hey, buddy" he whispers, tears filling his eyes.

Will's P.O.V.

He's finally awake. I couldn't be happier. I honestly think it's humanely impossible to be any happier than I am right now. My heart might pop out of pure joy, but I can see my brother's freaking out, so I can't allow myself to have an inner party right this second.

He comes first.

"Hey, it's alright, relax" I say, grabbing hold of his hand. He's coughing and gagging because of the ET tube. Sadly, he has to stay on the vent for at least a few more hours, just to be safe. "I know it sucks, buddy, but the tube has to stay for a little longer. I know it's annoying and you hate it, but it's helping you breathe, so try not to fight it. Let it do the work for you."

He's squeezing my hand to the point it hurts, but I don't care. Whatever he needs in order to get through this is fine with me. After a bit more coaxing he manages to relax. "There you go, great job."

Rhodes is standing next to Voight examining the monitors, while I tend to my brother.

"Do you know where you are? Just nod yes or no."

He looks around to make sure he's right and gives me a tiny nod.

"Good. Do you know what happened?"

He thinks for a second, before shaking his head.

"That's okay, it's completely normal." His heartbeat spikes again, notifying me of his distress. "Relax, relax, there's no need to stress about this."

Rhodes leans over and joins the examination, having noticed I've mostly lost the Dr. in my title. I'm more or less just being a worried brother right now.

Rhodes pulls out a penlight and flicks it over my brother's eyes. His pupils are still sluggish, though his eyes never break eye contact with mine.

That is until Rhodes goes to prod at the chest tubes. That's when Jay realizes the breathing tube isn't the only thing sticking out of his body.

He lifts his head up, trying to see the extent of his injuries and I can see the color drain from his face rapidly. His heart goes crazy and he starts trashing around.

"No, no, no. Jay!" I yell, trying to hold him still. "Calm down. It's okay, you're safe. I've got you. You're fine, I promise."

Rhodes and Voight have successfully pinned my brother down, though his eyes are still as scared as ever. That leaves me to do the verbal explanation and hopefully put his mind at ease before Rhodes has to sedate him.

"Hey, it's okay. I know all of this looks scarry, but I promise there's nothing to worry about. I'll explain everything once you're feeling a bit better." He's still squirming around, despite Connor and Voight's hold, clearly not calming down.

"Will..." Connor warns me of the nearly inevitable sedative coming our way.

"I know" I whisper back, not wanting to interrupt my pep talk. "Jay, listen to me. All of the tubes and wires are there to help you and trust me, I'll be more than happy to take them out as soon as I can, but for right now, they need to stay there, okay? Just try to calm down."

He's shaking his head violently as if trying to express his disapproval.

"It's okay, kiddo, you'll be alright. Just relax" Voight joins in.

It takes almost five minutes of soothing words from all three of us, but we finally manage to get Jay to calm down. His body relaxes and he drops back into the pillows. His heart rate stabilizes and all of the alarms stop screaming at us for attention. Everything seems back to normal, but I have a feeling the reason for Jay's calmness is either pain or tiredness. His eyes are closed once again and I notice he's moving his fingers one after the other.

He's counting.

The only time he ever does that is when he's in pain or really stressed out and has no other way to keep himself from losing it. Mouse told me about this habit that Jay got overseas. It's his vent.

"Are you in pain?"

I recieve a small nod, which brakes my heart. I hate seeing him in pain, especially because I know he'd never admit he was hurting unless he the pain was excruciating.

I notice tears running down his cheeks, which means this is a lot worse than I would've ever thought.

"I'm sorry you're in so much pain, buddy." I transfer my attention to Rhodes "Can you-" I start to say, but he's one step ahead of me and has already pushed the button of the morphine drip connected to my brother. Jay's muscles relax and the lines on his face dissapear. It's probably going to be minutes before he falls asleep again now that the meds have taken the edge off and Jay is visibly calmer. Rhodes takes this as a sign to leave and excuses himself, while Voight settles back into his chair.

"Are you okay?"

His eyes open again and I know he understands what I'm asking. I know he's in pain and I know it's gonna take time, but he will heal and he will get better. It's the other part I'm worried about. The psychological part. I hate that he can't talk, because it's impossible for me to know what's going on in his head. That also means that I can't help him, which makes me feel useless. That's why I'm doing the only thing I can do. Trying to let him know that I'm here. I may not have always been here, but I'm here now.

He nods.

This is the part of my brother that usually stays hidden from the world. I used to be a part of that 'world', but lately he's been allowing me into the part of his life noone else knows about. The vulnerable part that hides all of his emotions and bad memories that he had a hard time controlling.

I hope he's being honest with me and not just trying to make me feel better. He probably notices that I'm over thinking something, because he gives my hand a squeeze and tries his best to smile around the tube.

"Get some rest" I whisper, squeezing his hand back. "I'll be right here."

To be continued...

Not the longest chapter ever, but I hope you liked it. I felt it was a good place to finish... I hope everything makes sense. if not, blame it on my sickness (please let me know and I will go back and fix it). I will try to post the next chapter soon, but as I said, I'm still on vacation... I'll try my best though. Thank you for sticking with me despite my nonexistent schedule.

I was just wondering, which type of stories do you prefer - the short ones, such as "When I is replaced with we" or the longer ones, such as this one? And do you prefer me going kind of overboard with the injuries and treatment or would you prefer me to keep it short and sinple (and probably more realistic)? I'm just curious as to what you like reading.

Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. Your feedback really means a lot to me and it helps me understand, what you like (and it's like giving cookies to a little kid).

Hope you have a great day.

Love, N