Bo!
Did I scare you? Probably not, but I did surprise myself by managing to write a new chapter this fast (Note: this was supposed to go up on friday, but my WiFi didn't agree with that, so sadly this never got posted). Congratulations to me and my horrible WiFi.
As always so many of you have taken the time to leave me incredibly kind and even very personal reviews. I love that you are so open, therefore, I would like to take a second to respond to your hilarious reviews, so here you go (In case you're impatient, you can go read the chapter first and read my response after, but just so you know... it's here):
CBloom2: Thank you. I agree, the show doesn't feature their relationship enough. I mean, we all know their bond is one of the best things ever, so I don't think the fans would mind getting a whole lot of Jay and Will.
Victoria.Annxx: Thank you for your sweet review. I'm really glad you like reading my stories and thank you for always taking the time and writing me a very thorough review. I prefer reading one-shots as well, but somehow I always end up writing a longer story. What can I say? It's hard to make me shut up. I have some ideas for long one-shots in my mind, so there will definitely be some of those coming your way. And thank you for the tip about going overboard injuries, I'll definitely take it into consideration.
Sara2210: I am also a sucker for brotherly love, which is why Will is in most of these stories. I am also a horrible person when it comes to injuries, so I tend to go a bit overboard when writing. As for the show, I will be very angry if they don't do an episode (preferably more than one episode, I'd be more than okay with a whole season) featuring an injured Jay at Med and an overprotective Will fussing over him. I know I would binge watch that scene for the rest of my life shamelessly, but maybe that's just me.
Lj: The day has come, you have awaited the new chapter.
Ghostrider: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Floopdeedoopdee: (I just had to put you last, because your review was hilarious and it fit so well as an introduction... I hope you don't mind.) I LOVE YOUR REVIEW! I would gladly drop everything else in my life and write Jay whump forever, but sadly life doesn't work like that (at least not that I know of). However, right now I'm on vacation, so... *craks knuckles, cracks neck, takes a sip of tea, pets the cat, gets comfortable* Shall we begin?
Part 6
Will's P.O.V.
"On three, I need you to cough as hard as you can, okay?" It's been about six hours since Jay woke up for the second time and he's finally able to be taken off the vent. I don't know how, but I've managed to convince Rhodes that unless he sees me, I'm not breaking any rules. That's why I get to be the one to take out the breathing tube, which Jay hates so much.
"Ready? One, two, three."
He immediately starts gagging and coughing, but luckily Voight's here to hold him down while I get rid of the tube.
"Just relax, kiddo, you're fine. You can breathe juat fine."
"I'll just put an oxygen mask on you to help you breathe better, so don't touch it, okay?" I gently fix the mask over his face and do a quick once over. He seems to be doing fine. "Take nice and easy breaths. You're doing great, buddy. Your throat might be sore for a while, so don't try to talk too much. Do you want some ice chips?"
He nods, so I carefully lift the mask and give him a spoonful of ice, before fitting the mask back over his face.
"Do you remember what happened?"
I can see that he's trying hard to remember, but after a while he sighs in frustration, notifying me of the answer.
"It's okay, it'll come to you eventually. No need to rush it." He gives me a small nod, but I know he won't stop biting his head off until he remembers everything. "What about him" I say, pointing at Voight. "Do you know who that is?"
"That is the meanest boss on this planet" he grins. Yeah, he's definitely more awake than I thought he would be. Voight rolls his eyes and lets go of Jay's hand.
"You still owe me a visit to the chiropractor."
That completely confuses my concussed brother, so I give Voight a nasty look. "Give him a break, he's still not completely with us. The concussion's likely to have a negative effect on him for at least a few more days."
"No need to defend him, I already know he's crazy. Concussion or no concussion." I try my best to suppress a laugh, not wanting to upset my brother, who has started to drift off into a slumber. "I'm gonna go home and crack my back, but I'll be back later. Call me if you need anything."
I nod and he leaves without another word, leaving me alone with Jay.
"How's the pain?" I ask now that Voight's not here and Jay might actually be honest with me.
"I'll live" he whispers with a raspy voice, before taking the oxygen maks off.
"Leave that on, Jay. You've just been extubated two seconds ago."
Obviously he doesn't obey.
"So, you gonna tell me what happened?"
I sigh in frustration. "I thought I told you not to talk yet."
"Come on, Will" jlhe begs. "How did I end up in here?"
I accept that fact that he's not gonna rest until I answer his question. "Fine, but then you're going to sleep. Deal?"
He gives me one of his grins and nods, so I fix the mask back over his face.
"You were suffering from a severe case of hypothermia, which is why you were brought here. In order to warm you up as fast as possible, we had to put you on a heart bypass, which is why there's a big incision in the middle of your chest. The chest tubes are there to drain the fluid away from your heart and should be removed in about 48 hours." I pause, trying to determine if he's still listening to me and it doesn't seem like he's dozed off yet, so I continue. "Your lungs weren't being inflated while you were on bypass, which is why we had to put you on a breathing machine after to help ypu breathe until you were strong enough. Speaking of which, you should try to breathe as deeply as you can and we'll do some breathing exercises to strengthen your lungs again."
Jay stays quiet for a few minutes, carefully examining all of the tubes and wires connected to him.
"What are those?" he asks, pointing at the other pieces of gauze.
"Those are incisions from surgery. Nothing to worry about." I've decided not to scare him with all of the unnecessary information, so I left some parts out. I'll tell him all about them once he's doing better.
He nods and lets his head fall back into the pillow. "So" he says enthusiastically, pulling the mask off once again "when can I go home?"
I can't help but roll my eyes. "Just put the mask back on and go to sleep."
Yeah, it's fun being Jay's brother.
Jay's P.O.V.
"Jay? Are you listening to me?"
I'm seriously starting to wonder wether or not my brain has turned into mush. I can hardly keep a conversation going for more than five minutes and then I just doze off.
It's getting really annoying real fast.
"Huh?"
"I said, are you listening to me" Rhodes repeats his previous question, not exactly helping me. I still have no idea what the conversation was about. "Jay, I can't take the tubes out unless you cooperate, so tell me now. Are you going to be able to focus long enough or not?
"Yeah, I'm focused. Just do it already."
I would pretty much do anything to get those painful things out of my chest.
"Alright, let me explain how this is gonna go. I'm going to remove the stitches and then I'm going to pull one tube after the other, okay? I'm not gonna lie to you, it's going to be painful, but just try and take some deep breaths and I'll give you something for the pain once we're done. Is that okay with you?"
This sounds like no fun, but it's not like I have a choice. The tubes are gonna have to come out eventually.
"Are you okay?" Will asks, squeezing my hand. I'm guessing he's noticed the fear displayed on my face and is starting to get worried.
I give him a quick nod and stare at the tubes willing them to disappear.
"You sure?" Will doesn't let up, making me even more scared than I was before.
"Why can't you do it?" I whine like a five year old. He looks at me with the softest eyes in the world, not judging me for being scared of a simple procedure.
"Because it's against policy. I'm sorry, buddy, but it was hard enough to convince Rhodes to let me take out the breathing tube-"
"Wiiiiill" I just about cry, not bothering to hide my fear anymore.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm gonna be right here. Everything's going to be fine. Five minutes and then it's all over."
I am well aware of the fact that I'm pouting, but I am officially at my last resort, willing to do anything to get my way.
"How about we start with the feeding tube and see how it goes?" Rhodes offers. "That one shouldn't hurt to take out."
I don't answer, instead I shoot Will a nasty glare.
"Come on, buddy, you can do it" he encourages me. I am beyond lucky that he's the patient one out of the two of us (especially when it comes to me), otherwise he probably would've stormed out of the room and left me to whine on my own.
Rhodes sighs and shares a look with Will, before speaking up. "Or we can leave them in until tomorrow and then-"
"No! I don't want them anymore" I whine.
"Okay, let's get started then."
Will squeezes my hand, while Rhodes pulls off the tape holding the feeding tube in place.
"It's going to feel a bit uncomfortable now" Rhodes warns, before pulling the impossibly long tube out of my nose, making me gag.
I quickly close my eyes and start taking deep breaths.
"Are you going to be sick?" Will asks to which I carefully respond with a meaningless moan.
"You alright, buddy?" Connor joins into the conversation. I would've replied to him, I really would, but I was too busy trying to swallow my own vomit. "Okay, just breathe for a second."
Thank you very much.
After a few minutes of breathing I seem to have control over my stomach again. Yaay me. "That was the easy one?! What are the others gonna feel like, ripping my heart out?" I glare at Rhodes, who laughs.
"You'll be fine, big guy."
He carefully removes the gauze around the chest tubes which is anything but pleasant. I can't help but look at the tubes sticking out of my chest. This is the first time I've seen them without the gauze, and let me tell you, they are disgusting.
"Hey, look at me" Will says, guiding my head towards his. "Try not to think about it."
So I keep my eyes locked on Will's until the very last stitch is gone.
"Here comes the fun part" Rhodes announces grabbing a piece of clean gauze. "I'll have to pull them out one by one and stitch the incisions..."
"You know what? I don't wanna know. Just go." I have no desire to get sick trying to imagine this procedure, although passing out might not be such a bad idea.
"Alright, you ready?"
Nod. Well, a scared nod. I don't think I'll ever be ready.
"Tell me if you need me to stop, okay?"
Another, even more scared nod.
"Alright, take a deep breath and hold it. I'm gonna pull on three."
Breathe in.
"One-"
Scream.
I don't know where two and three went, but I'm guessing Rhodes was trying to get it done and over with as soon as possible. Sad for me, it hurt anyways.
"It's okay, it's okay, it's done" Will whispers, squeezing my hand. Or maybe I'm the one squeezing his hand. I'm not really sure at this point. "Breathe, Jay."
What? Where'd the buzzing come from?
"Come one, buddy, deep breaths" Rhodes says, rubbing a hand on my chest.
Oh. I've been holding my breath this whole time. Oops, my bad. Alright, I can do it. In through my nose- ouch. That hurt.
"There you go, nice and easy. Just keep breathing. I'll give you some lidocaine before I do the stitches, okay?"
There's a burning sensation and then I don't feel anything anymore. I can hear Rhodes fiddling with something, but I can only guess he's stitching me up. I can't say for sure though, I must've closed my eyes at some point.
Will's talking. I think he's trying to distract me by telling me a story, but I can't focus enough to understand the words. His voice is helping though.
"Ready for the next one, buddy?" Rhodes asks, breaking my concentration. My breathing speeds up and my heart monitor goes crazy.
"He's freaking out" Will points out the obvious in a hushed tone.
"I know" Connor replies. "Think I should stop and give him a break?"
Oh god, please no. I don't wanna have to go through this again.
"Just- go fast" Will orders, successfully expressing my wish. Good job, bro. Ten points for brother of the year. "Deep breaths, Jay. You're doing great."
Right, breathing is painful, but important. Maybe it won't hurt as much if I think about something el-
Holy sssh- that hurts so bad.
This time I actually knew what I was expecting, which made this a hundred times worse. I can feel the tube slowly sliding out of my chest one inch at a time. It feels like it takes forever.
I lift my head up and stare a the bloody tubing, which seems even wider and longer than I thought it would be. And it's still sliding out of my chest. Slowly. How can it possibly be this long?!
My free hand subconsciously goes to grab the tube and yank it the rest of the way out.
"Will-" Rhodes yells at my brother once he notices me moving.
"No, no, no, Jay, don't touch anything" Will warns me, knocking my hand out of the way.
"Hold him still" Rhodes orders, finally pulling the tube out the rest of the way. Will pins both of my hands down, effectively restraining me. Time for the stitches.
"You're doing great, buddy, just keep breathing" Will joins the cheerleading squad. "One more and then it's all done and you can go to sleep."
Can't wait for that. Or you could knock me out right now and spare me some misery. This darkness that has partially taken over my brain seems very welcoming.
"Okay, last one" Connor speaks up again. "Deep breath."
The invasive plastic moves and I cry out in pain again. I can feel the tears streaming down my face, but I can't stop them. I can also hear someone screaming though I think that might be me.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry buddy. Almost done" Rhodes wispers and then the tube is gone.
My whole world is fuzzy.
I can hear Will and Connor talking in hushed tones somewhere far far away from me. My chest still feels like it's gonna explode, but my brain seems to have shut down. I feel the coldness of a stethoscope press against my chest in different places and an oxygen mask is once again resting on my face, supplying me with sweet oxygen.
Someone's rubbing my chest and something is squeezing my hand.
"-ay? You okay, buddy?"
That's Will and I'm pretty sure he's talking to me.
"You with us, Jay?"
That's Connor. And I have a feeling they're expecting an answer, so I give them a moan.
"Good. Can you breathe okay?"
"Hurts" I whisper.
"I bet. I'm gonna give you something for the pain, okay?"
I moan again.
"Try to get some sleep. I'll be right here" Will says gently.
"I didn't like this last part" I wheeze, making both of them laugh. That's the last thing I hear before slipping into a deep slumber.
Will's P.O.V.
"You found me" Jay says all of a sudden, startling me. I've just brought him home from the hopital, after he was released, and deposited him on his comfortable bed. It's been almost ten days since that terrifying freezing night. Up till now, he has shown no signs of having any memory of the events, however I'm starting to think that's not the case.
I look at him, not entirely sure I understood him correctly.
"That day" he pauses. "You saved me."
He's staring directly into my eyes, which makes this moment so much more intense.
"You mean..."
"I remember." Yeah, I understood him correctly. "I remember everything. All of it."
I can hear slight pain and sorrow in his voice, that make me want to punch something.
"Wanna talk about it?" I ask carefully, knowing he is very likely to shut down in situations like this. You know, when it's time to start expressing perfectly human emotions.
He stays silent.
He's staring out the window, probably lost somewhere in his own world, where noone else can hurt him. The only thing that can hurt him, is himself. And I'm not gonna let that happen. Not this time.
"You don't have to talk to me about this if you don't want to, but please think about it." He doesn't respond. "Maybe you could talk to somebody else, like Rhodes or Choi. Or somebody on your team" I trail off, fully aware that I'm not going to make him budge unless he wants me to.
"How about you get some rest? It's been a long day." I'm not even sure he's blinking anymore. "Do you need anything?" No response. I know I'm gonna have to leave him alone eventually, but a part of me still hopes I can get him to open up. "Well, I'm here of you need me."
I turn to walk out of the room, when a whisper stops me.
"You."
"What?" I ask while turning back around, but I don't walk closer to him. I don't want to make him feel overcrowded or rushed. We have all the time in the world.
"That night... I went- I was looking for you."
I'm not exactly sure what he means, so I stay quiet. He'll tell me as much as he wants to.
"I had a nightmare. You were kidnapped." Oh. Now I understand. And it brakes my heart. He was worried about me and he got hurt because of it. "They took you, and- it all felt so real."
He's crying.
So this was PTSD. If it were a regular nightmare, he would've woken up, not ended up in the middle of nowhere on one of the coldest nights. This is why I hate PTSD so much. It's unpredictable. One day you're fine, and the next day... you're not.
I step closer to the bed, wanting nothing more than to hug him and tell him it's okay, but I can't do that. Not yet. I have to let him finish first.
"I had to save you."
He's sobbing now. I'm not sure how far I should push him, but maybe getting it off his chest will help him. I have to try.
"So you went looking for me" I finish his thought. He nods. "And then what happened?"
It takes him a few minutes, but he continues. "They were doing horrible things. Torturing you. And I-" his voice breaks. "I couldn't- I couldn't find you."
Oh my god.
This is terrible.
I'm having a hard time just listening to this. I can't imagine how he must've felt.
"I could hear you screaming, so I just- I ran as fast as I could."
He's counting again. I can see his fingers moving over and over again. From one pinkie to the other and then all the way back. And then again. And again.
"Your voice was getting lower and lower until everything got silent. You were dying. And there was nothing I could do about it." There's a long pause and for a second, I think this is all I'm going to get out of him. "I must've tripped over something... Then there was pain, but even that disappeared after a while, and I was-" a gasp stops him from finishing the sentence.
"You were what?"
"I was happy. I was happy I was dying too. I was happy that I didn't have to live in a world without you."
"Oh, Jay..."
"I thought I lost you." His sobs turn into gasps and he's crying harder than I've ever seen him cry. I'm next to him in two seconds and he just about melts into my embrace. "Sssh, it's okay. I'm here." He cries for a while and I just hold him, whispering reassurance into his ear, until he's calm enough to continue.
"And then there was your voice again. Except this time it was calm and warm... reassuring me that I was okay" he trails off. "I called you, didn't I?"
I bite my lip, fearing what might happen next. "Yes" I whisper and he just waits. He waits for me to continue, so I tell him my whole side of the story. He listens in silence and once I'm finished, he continues to sit still and stare out the window.
"Jay?" I say after a while, scared of letting him chew on this for too long.
"You saved me."
"Ruzek did. Your whole team saved you and then Rhodes-"
"No" he stops me. "You saved me. They wouldn't have even known something was wrong if it weren't for you. I called you, not them. You." He pauses and shifts uncomfortably. "You saved me."
"You're in pain" I point out, having noticed his wince.
"It's not too bad."
Of course it's not. Jay would never admit he was in pain unless he was half way unconscious and therefore unaware of it.
I get up and walk into the bathroom, grabbing two pills and a cup of water and basically shove them in my brother's face.
"Take them."
"Will, I'm fi-"
"I swear to god Jay, I will hurt you if you say you're fine. Now take the damn pills."
He carefully takes the glass from me and swallows them without further complaining.
"Thank you, now lay down."
He opens his mouth to say something, but changes his mind after I give him a nasty stare. Smart choice. I would've sedated him if I had to.
I help him settle into his fluffy pillows and pile all of his blankets on top of him, careful not to mess with the incision site.
"You okay?" I ask once he's barely noticeable among the sheets. His eyes have already gained the hazy look from the meds, but he gives me a nod nevertheless. "Good, get some sleep."
I get about a step away from the bed when Jay's hand latches onto mine.
"Stay" he whispers barely auditable, but I immediately stop and sit on the edge of his bed.
"Scoot over" I whisper and lay down next to him once there's enough space for both of us. He turns on his side and rests his face on my chest, just like when we were little.
"Thanks for finding me."
"Always."
The end.
Thank you for reading and please leave a review even though this is the last chapter... I had this super long idea for this particular storyline, but I ended up changing my mind at the last second, which is why this was the last chapter. Don't worry, the idea won't go to waste as it will be included into one of my future stories. You see, I am a terrible adrenaline junkie and I get bored very easily, which is why I needed to end this story and start writing a new one. I hope you don't hate me too much.I do have an idea about the next storyline, but your prompts are always welcome. Sadly, I can't please everyone at the same time, but I promise I will try my best to eventually write as many of your prompts as I can.
So please, feel free to drop your wishes on me and I will contact my Ginny (aka the creative part of my brain) and see what she can do.
In the next story I will- I'm just kidding. I'm not going to tell you anything, you'll just have to wait. (Unless you can read my mind. In that case, please, don't tell anyone what I had for breakfast.)
Till next time :)
Love, N
PS In case you skipped my personal responses to your reviews at the beginning, now is a good time to go back and read them.