Hello my lovely people :)

Should I even try apologizing for being missing since like January? Probably not. (Don't worry, I'm very much ashamed.) As usual, a hundred thousand things have been going on in my life, and since 2020 has decided to be quite a special year for everyone, I'm sure many of you have been dealing with a hundred thousand things too.

I hope all of you and your loved ones are healthy and as safe as you can be :) I know the past few months have probably been especially hard for some of you, so if anyone ever needs someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. We can even talk about the weather if that would help ;) Anyway, I just wanted to remind you that you're not alone :)

I may have been gone for an eternity, but I still feel like responding to all of your sweet reviews I've been getting in the meantime is the only right thing to do. So here it goes :) (I apologise in advance for how long these responses are about to be. There's quite a few of them, so please bear with me, because I wanna be thorough.)

larutanrepus89: Thank you so much for always leaving me the sweetest reviews! And I'm sorry it took me so long to post the next chapter. As for your idea about a natural disaster – I think it's absolutely brilliant! I'm soooo happy you thought of that! I would love to write it right this second if I could. It's gonna happen at some point. I promise you.

floopdeedoopdee: Hahahahahahah oh my, your reviews always kill me (in the best way possible) XD I'm really glad that you enjoyed the previous chapter so much, and I hope that you successfully managed to go on that one hour virtual date with your TV boyfriend, who also happens to be my TV boyfriend, but I guess we can share XD You were right, Jay definitely didn't get killed off the show, and I totally agree that would've been the death of the show, because Jay might actually be everyone's sweetheart. But I am thoroughly disappointed in the way they didn't go overboard with the whole 'Jay got shot and is halfway dead' drama. I'll leave it at that. And thank you so much for all of your kind wishes :) Despite everything that this year has been in general (which is entirely crazy), I hope it has been as good as it possible can be. Wow, that's a strange sentence to say XD

The fridge loves food: Aww, I totally know how that feels. Getting a notification from FanFiction might be the best thing to wake up to! I hope it made you happy today too :) And I'm really glad you liked the previous chapter and aren't too mad about the cliff-hanger. I'm way too addicted to them XD As for the whole college thing, I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through a similar situation. I hope things have gotten better in the last few months, although this year has been quite hard on so many people, so… I hope you'll be able to enjoy the summer vacation (if you actually have it, because they decided to cut ours a month short thanks to the whole virus thing, which totally sucks), and get a little bit of a break from everything. I've noticed that despite how much the schoolyear destroys me, I somehow manage to put myself back together during the summer. I hope you manage to find your happiness again too :) And thank you for your kind offer. I may not know you very well, but that doesn't mean I appreciate it any less. Sometimes it means even more :) Like I said, you can always talk to me, if you need someone to listen or rant with :)

CBloom2: You are absolutely right. Will's definitely gonna get caught up in it XD Thank you so much for your encouragement! I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me :) I agree that mental health is more important than college, so I'm trying my best to look after myself first. Once again thank you for all your kind words :)

Extraordinarygirl116: Aww, thank you so so much for all your sweet words :) I'm really glad you enjoyed the previous chapter, and I obviously hope you enjoy this one too. (Based on your comment about Will, I think you might.) I was trying to focus on the brotherly bond a little more in the previous chapter, because I'm absolutely addicted to it, so I'm really glad you enjoyed reading it :) I totally understand what hiding from spoilers is like. Episodes don't actually air in my country for months, so I have to wait for someone to post clips on YouTube or something like that and then wait forever to be able to see the whole thing (legally XD). I hope you enjoyed the episode, even though it seriously lacked the injured Jay, medical emergency, dramatic brotherly moments… Oh my goodness, this is insane. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but I'm studying to become a special education teacher. What are the odds? XD I'm sorry to hear that you lost your passion too, but I'm glad you've managed to find some of it again. I wish you all the best and I hope you eventually find your way to your dream job :) Oh, and I don't mind your long review at all XD These reviews are a treasure to read whenever I'm having a bad day… Thank you for always encouraging me and keeping me going :)

: Thank you so much :) I'm really glad you enjoyed the previous chapter. I really wanted to focus on the importance of the brotherly bond for a little bit, so I'm really happy that came across right. Thank you for all of your good wishes, and thank you for offering to listen :) I'm glad to say that my family has been relatively well throughout this whole thing, and I really hope you and your family have been doing well too :)

Danicat: It almost seems, like you may be right. Hint ;)

Riya: Aww, you're so kind to say that :) Sometimes, I get messages telling me to hurry up and update, and I have to admit it kind of makes me feel trapped. I love writing, I really do. Nothing's ever gonna change that. And no matter how busy I am, I always try to make time and write something the second I possibly can. Some of these chapters take me months to post, because I literally write them sentence by sentence. Don't get me wrong, I know what it feels like to be left hanging in the middle of a story, and I hate that I can't afford to write more regularly. But I really do try my best and post as often as I can. So I really, really appreciate you saying that. Thank you :)

Ghostwriter: Thank you so much! And thank you for your blessing on the cancer story :) I've decided to put it on pause for now, because I have some amazing prompts that I would love to write first, but I might write it eventually.

Jay: (I'm still shamelessly freaking out about your name months after having read your review for the first time XD I've always adored names that start with J for some reason, and I mean… Jay just has to be one of the most wonderful names out there. You can't argue with that. So, yes, I love your name too! Okay, I should probably stop ranting about your name XD) Hi :) First of all, I'm honoured that I got to be the first one to receive your review on this site. That's so freaking cute :) So, thank you, for leaving me one of the most genuine reviews ever! I think I may have melted somewhere in the process of reading it. I don't even know where to start responding XD I guess I could start with the part about me responding to all of your reviews in the first place. I really do appreciate every single one of you and I looove these little conversations we get to have. It makes this whole thing way more personal and special. It also seems fair to take time to respond to everyone, since all of you have taken the time to give me feedback in the first place. The reviews really do keep me going whenever I get stuck in the middle of writing, and going back to read them on some of the worst days… I couldn't ask for anything better. You never fail to make me smile and each one of you makes such a difference… I'll never be able to explain how much you mean to me. Speaking of the "bad days", thank you for your encouragement about the whole college thing :) I wish I could say it got better since then, but it might actually be the exact opposite. I'm pretty sure none of the previous years have sucked as much as this one does. Sometimes I'm literally a step away from quitting, but then I remember the kids and their smiles… and then I somehow find a way to kick myself in the butt and make myself keep going XD

(My responses are usually only one paragraph long, but since you really took your time and left me such a great comment, you get paragraphs too XD) I'm really glad you like the way I write (I have no idea where the "mother tongue" thing comes from, but that's what my English teacher forced me to remember, so you're welcome XD I'm glad you think it's cute), and the fact that you had just read all 27 chapters. Binge-reading FanFiction is definitely a thing. And I'm definitely guilty of doing it… shamelessly. Whenever I re-read my previous chapters, I either laugh to the point of crying or try to stick my head into the sand like an ostrich XD The first few chapters are so bad it's almost hilarious. I wonder what I'll think about the newer chapters in a couple of years XD As for the typos – I am very much aware of the fact that they exist, and let me tell you, they drive me nuts. I get so annoyed when I re-read the old chapters, and I swear to you I have my own mistakes memorized by now. I always tell myself I should go back and fix all of them, but guess what? They're stilly there. Including the Danny one, which I also have no idea about how that happened. My brain is an interesting thing XD By the way, I love that your review is actually more of a full on conversation and not just the "review" itself :) I'm actually kind of surprised whenever anyone reads my super long rants about life, so I really appreciate you saying that it isn't annoying. Partially, I write them, because I feel so comfortable in this fandom that I really honestly feel like sharing the "more private" things with you. But I also write them so that I'll be able to look back on these someday and remember everything that I've been through, you know? Some things that seem like the biggest deal ever right now, probably won't matter then. But they do show in the way I write… I can still tell the difference when I go through the older chapters. I wrote some of the better chapters in "the darkest of times". It's nice to see something good come out of something bad :)

Okay, I think this is officially the longest response to a review I've ever written XD But I have one more topic to cover. What the heck was 7.10?! Where was the medical emergency, half-way dead, hanging-by-a-thread-so-let's-make-the-biggest-deal-about-it part? The preview was so promising, and then… classical let down. I was really hoping that the writers were going to surprise me. Even Jesse's (another great name XD) interviews got me all hyped up. And the nothing. Where were all of our Jay-centric dramatic scenes and the overly concerned Will? Speaking of Will, I totally agree with you. Shows have a tendency to more or less ignore the incredible sibling bonds they could've created, which is kind of annoying. I'm an only child, so I'll never get to experience the sibling bond that I've always desired so much first hand, but (as you can probably tell from the way I write), I adore reading and writing about it. I just wish shows would focus more on these kind of "little things" that aren't little. Wow, I literally just wrote 1011 words. Oops, my bad XD I hope your work doesn't suffer too much… PS: Oh my goodness, I just about died the second I realised someone from the medical field is reading my stories XD I would like to apologise for all the inaccurate things that I write, because no matter how much research I do in advance, it's just not the same… And I kind of tend to go overboard when it comes to injuring the lovely Jay Halstead, so… yeah, I have no excuse for that XD

Kaylerrae: Aww, that's so incredibly kind. Thank you so, so much :) I don't think I recognise your username, so hello :) Thank you for leaving me a review, and I'm sorry you had to wait so long for the next chapter.

YuukiAsuna41: Hi :) I believe you're new to this story, so first of all welcome :) If I'm not mistaken you've written reviews on my other story too, so this isn't the first time we've talked, but still. Welcome to the fam :) I would like to thank you for leaving me reviews for some of the previous chapters too and not just the newest one. I really appreciate you taking time to do that, since not many people (including myself) do. I still get emotional when I re-read the old chapters, and I gotta admit, I'm pretty happy with the "I was looking for you" moment too :) I'm still not a doctor, but I'm really glad you appreciate all the research I do, before actually writing about these things. I try my best not to spread false information about medical things, but I do go a little bit overboard when writing all of the dramatic parts, so please keep that in mind :) And yes – is Garcia really back?!

Charmlily: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked the previous chapter and I obviously hope you like this one too :)

Reader: The day has finally come :)

Now, for the first time in forever, the long-awaited next chapter. I hope it was worth the horrifically long wait :)

Almost Like A Walk On The Beach

Part 5

Will's P.O.V.

The second I hear those horrible words leave Voight's mouth, I'm running towards my brother's room, begging the universe for Garcia to be anywhere but that room. Literally anywhere. I'd even rather face an unplanned desert getaway with him myself than have Jay spend another second in his presence.

Wait, actually never mind. I'd much rather see Jay face a couple more seconds with him, if that meant he wasn't dead.

Oh for heaven's sake, why do I have to have such a great imagination?

I can think of at least a dozen possible ways of Garcia killing Jay on the spot.

Great. I'm really considering darting for one of the trashcans on the way and losing my breakfast in it, but I can't afford to waste another second. Jay might not have a second.

Don't worry, I'm also well aware of the fact that I'm walking headfirst straight into hell, but I could care less right now. I just wanna get to Jay as soon as humanly possible. Using Jay's standards of fast-moving of course, not mine.

Please don't be dead, please don't be dead.

Have these hallways always been this long?! I mean, this is ridiculous! It must take forever for nurses to reach their patients through this maze. We just had to put Jay in the most distant room possible, didn't we? To hell with privacy, if it means a criminal can walk into your room unnoticed and 'finish what he started'. I believe those were Voight's exact words.

Speaking of Voight, I'm pretty sure I can still hear him yelling at me not to be stupid all the way from the phone in my hand, which means I didn't take the time to actually hang up on him.

Now that I think about it, that might've actually been an accidental smart decision, because this way he'll be able to hear it if I get shot the second I walk into Jay's room. Or you know, hear me scream if Jay's the one hosting a bullet somewhere inside of him.

Just a little more, Jay, hang on. One more corner.

Whoever left that crash cart in the middle of the hall… Not. Practical.

Okay, here's how this is gonna go. I'm gonna get to Jay's room and Garcia's not gonna be there. I'm gonna look like an absolute lunatic, panting like a hyena having an asthma attack, while Jay's gonna laugh in my face and have his long-awaited popsicle. That's the plan.

"Jay!" I scream the second I come crashing through the door of his room, totally taken aback by the sight in front of me.

Jay is very much alive.

Which is great. Maybe my plan's actually gonna work.

He's still sitting on the bed, covered with his comfy blankets, awake and breathing. So, he's pretty much exactly the way I left him.

Well, almost.

The only difference is, that he looks as if he's seen a ghost. Which is not great. He doesn't acknowledge my very noisy and impossible to miss entrance. He also doesn't respond to his name being called and he doesn't blink either. Nothing.

He just keeps staring at the wall right behind me.

Uh-oh.

I'm gonna go on a limb here and take a wild guess that Garcia's standing right behind me this very second. Correct me if you think I'm wrong.

No, really. Please do. You know I love being wrong. I would especially love to be wrong right now and have this whole thing be a nasty way of throwing Jay a surprise 'you-survived-the-impossible-once-again' party.

I know I should probably turn around, but I really don't want to.

I'd much rather just keep staring in front of me for the rest of eternity, pretending that the rest of the world doesn't exist.

Anybody have any ideas on how I could stop the time? No? Okay then.

Maybe if I turn just a little…

Oh no. I just had to be right, didn't I?!

"Oh, that's cute. What a nice surprise…" a person, who I'm (again) gonna take a wild guess and name Garcia, whispers in the creepiest voice ever, pointing a gun in the general direction of my head, before I can move an inch.

No, no, no. This can't be happening.

Now I really wish I had taken a second to think before rounding that last corner. That way, I may have realised, that not alerting anyone about what might very likely be going on in the middle of the ICU might not have been the very best idea.

Because now I get to try and keep both of us alive on my own. Which could potentially be a problem.

I think this might be the very first (and hopefully the last) time I've hoped for Jay to have a panic attack.

I promise I'm not crazy. Just hear me out.

Jay having a panic attack would mean his heart would skyrocket, which means that the nurses would immediately get an alert and come rushing in here. But that would also mean that the heart monitor Jay's currently connected to would start wailing, which I'm sure Garcia would notice. And since he happens to have a gun in his hand, he probably plans to use it anyway, so… And with the nurses rushing in, that would mean more casualties… yeah, never mind. That might not be the best option we have. Unless Garcia can't shoot very well and would manage to miss every single person he aims for, but I'm guessing we're not gonna get that lucky.

New plan.

Let's make sure Jay doesn't have a panic attack, so no one else notices what's going on until Voight's close enough to hopefully fix this.

Yep, that's the only plan I have, so we'll go with that.

One glance towards the heart monitor later, I immediately know that Jay's more or less on the verge of either going into full blown freak out mode or becoming catatonic, so I gotta find a way to get through to him before either of those things happen. Without stepping on a nerve of the person with a gun, which complicates things a bit.

Think, Will, think. What would Jay do?

No, still got nothing.

See, this is why I'm a doctor and not a cop. I'm fine under pressure, but not if there's a gun pointed at my head.

Okay, this is not the time to panic, so… I gotta find a way to stall and by us more time.

"Listen man, I don't know who you are or what you want… I'm just here to check on my patient" I stutter, hopefully justifying the reason for my next question. "Jay, can you hear me?"

To my surprise, the blue Bambi eyes actually blink, before locking on mine. Small mercies.

"Hey" I say, exhaling a little bit too obviously. "You doing okay? Take a deep breath, everything's fine."

"Shut up!" Garcia hisses, making me jump.

"I'm sorry, sir" I say, slowly taking a step towards Jay's bed "but I really need to check on him and make sure he's okay-"

"I said shut up! Pretty soon taking care of him won't matter anymore."

Crap. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't try moving just yet.

Garcia slowly leans forward a little, and I have to try my hardest not to move away. "Listen doctor… Halst-"

Uh-oh.

"Ooh" he laughs. "Isn't this a nice surprise. Not only do I get to kill you" he says, pointing the gun towards Jay, before pressing the gun directly into my temple, "but I also get to kill your brother. And make you watch."

No, no, no.

The second the word brother leaves Garcia's mouth, something in Jay changes drastically. It's like flipping a switch. One second he's lost somewhere in his own world, and the next…

"Don't you dare touch him" Jay hisses, already on his wobbly feet, ready to attack and defend me with his life if needed. And yes, in case you were wondering, Jay's short trip results in the sticky pads, leading to the heart monitor, disconnecting and falling onto the floor next to his bed.

How could this day go from being good to so horrifically bad in the matter of ten minutes?

"Jay, don't-" I try to warn the second I see him reaching for me, before strong hands grab both of my arms, pulling me backwards, until I'm pinned against Garcia's chest, a gun pressed deep into the side of my head.

"Get back or I shoot him!" he hisses, making Jay take a step back, holding his hands up in defeat.

"Okay, okay, relax." I can't believe how steady his voice is. "Just let him go. You can do whatever you want with me, just… let him go first. I won't even put up a fight."

Oh god, Jay, don't do this. Do you have to play the hero? I'm the older brother. I should be the one protecting you, not the other way around.

I'm shooting him the nastiest death stare I can, but I already know there's nothing I can do to prevent him from doing this. He's gonna try his best to catch

"Nah, I don't think so" Garcia says, squeezing me a little tighter. "Remember what your boss did to my best friend?"

Oh, that was a low blow. I can tell by the look on Jay's face that he's silently cursing himself for his poor choice of words. This is gonna get nasty.

"He killed him. So, now it's seems fair, that I return the favour."

Jay's squeezing his fists so tight that his knuckles are almost completely white.

You can't let yourself blow up, Jay. You can't break. For both of us. Voight's coming, we'll be okay.

"You touch him," Jay hisses, slowly taking a step towards us "and I promise you, I will find the most horrible way to kill you."

If looks could kill, Garcia would be dead by now. I don't think I've ever seen Jay this furious. Like ever.

Calm down, Jay. Don't do anything stupid.

Oh, who am I kidding? He's Jay. He's reckless. And there's a gun pointed at my head. Nothing's gonna stop him.

"And then I'm gonna find every last family member you have. And kill them too."

Jesus, Jay.

The silence that follows only lasts a few seconds, but those few seconds speak so loudly they could move mountains.

For just a split second, I can hear loud steps, resembling heavy boots running down the hallway, but before I can successfully alert Jay, he lurches forward.

Something clicks right next to my ear exactly at the same time as Jay's hand reaches my shoulder and shoves me sideways.

There's a loud bang, before my head meets one of the sharp corners of the hospital bed, instantly giving me a nasty headache, which successfully makes me forget all about the burning sensation deep inside my shoulder.

I think I can hear Jay screaming, but the buzzing in my ears seems to be much louder than him.

The last thing I see before fully emerging into the world of blackness is the broken red and blue popsicle, forgotten on the hospital tiles, serving as an ugly reminder of what could have been.

Be careful, Jay.

Rhodes's P.O.V.

Code blue. Jay's room.

Crap.

I immediately drop the files I was holding and open my mouth to start yelling orders for a crash cart, before almost getting run over. Literally.

"Voight?!" I ask, completely puzzled by why I'm seeing him running down the hallway. And I mean running. As in all-out sprinting through the ICU.

"Jay!" he gasps out, pointing somewhere in the general direction of his room, before drawing out his gun.

I have a feeling there's something I don't know. Something very, very bad. And it's not just the code blue, which Voight had no way of knowing about.

I immediately dart after him, not wasting any time trying to find out exactly what's going on. As soon as I round the last corner, I stop dead in my tracks.

What the hell…

Will, who I'm sure I've seen walk by me no more than ten minutes ago, is now very much lacking in consciousness. Which he definitely wasn't last time I saw him. He seems to be completely knocked out, sprawled all over the floor, resting in a nice bright red puddle, which is steadily forming underneath his shoulder. A gun, which might have been the cause of the bleeding, is laying a couple of feet away from him, making me wonder exactly what went on in here.

Jay on the other hand, who was probably pretending to be passed out the last time I saw him, is now very much awake. And also very occupied with freaking out, but to be honest, he has a pretty good reason for it.

First of all, his brother, who he's incredibly protective of (Dare hurt a hair on his head and you're gonna end up dead in an alley or at the very least so badly off, you're gonna wish you were dead.), is clearly not okay. And second of all, a mysterious person, who I'm guessing isn't Jay's friend, happens to be standing right behind him, but the part that makes this whole thing so concerning, is the cable, wrapped around Jay's neck, gradually squeezing the life out of him. Which means Jay's also clearly not okay.

The gun, that I saw Vought draw only seconds ago, is now pointed at the mysterious man, which would've been useful, if the man wasn't using Jay as his human shield.

"It's over, Garcia. Drop him!"

Voight's words seem to have a countereffect, if the way Jay's now desperately clawing at his chest and the newly gained blue tint to his lips are anything to go by. He's probably seconds away from passing out.

The thing that makes my heart clench the most are his eyes. They should be scared for himself, darting all over the place, begging for someone to help him. Instead, they're locked on the motionless figure on the floor.

How do we keep getting into situations like this? Seriously…

"I want justice, Voight!" the person, whose name must be Garcia, yells, tightening the hold on Jay's neck even more.

Oh man, if he keeps going, he's literally gonna crush Jay's trachea. We need to get Jay out of there.

And Will…

"Drop him or I swear to god, you're not getting out of here alive!" Voight yells again, achieving absolutely nothing, just like the previous time. "Or at least let him breathe, so we can talk."

"You' re getting what you deserve. You suffocated him with a cable. Remember that? So now you get to watch your detective die the same exact way."

I can tell Jay's now taking very slow blinks, which means he's probably hanging on by a thread, making me want to grab the oxygen mask and strap it onto his face right this second. Which I obviously can't do. His poor lungs have been through so much this week... This is insane. His hands suddenly stop clawing and drop, hanging limply on either side of his body.

"Drop him!" Voight screams one last time.

This time, Garcia does drop him. His hand releases its tight grip on the chord, allowing Jay to blink exactly once, before his knees turn into jello.

Thanks to a shove from Garcia, he goes flying towards all of the machines next to his bed, and since his muscle tonus is somewhere around zero, he ends up slamming his already damaged neck, which is inconveniently still wrapped tightly with the cord, against the sharpest edge of the heart monitor, which is to this point still wailing at us, alerting us of the fact, that so many things are so very wrong.

Nope, still not the end...

Okay, so I know this was supposed to be the only follow-up chapter, but I just now realised that's not going to happen, so… oops. I hope you don't mind. My cat's getting really needy (read: I' the one who actually wants her attention and unconditional love), so I need to go pet her for the rest of eternity. Don't hate me.

Just kidding XD But I really am gonna go to sleep now, because it's like one in the morning and I need to get up at five. I already feel sorry for the people who are gonna have to deal with me. Sorry, I have priorities that come before sleeping XD

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter… I hope you like it more than I do. I have something pretty dramatic planned for the last part, but I needed a little bit of a transition chapter, so… As usual, reviews are more than welcome :) I would especially love to hear from you, because it's been so long since I've posted and it's been an especially strange year... I just hope all of you and your loved ones are safe and well. I hope you're still interested in these stories even though my posting game has not been strong… To those of you who have stuck around – thank you. I can't even begin to explain how much you mean to me. I don't care how cheesy it sounds XD

This is by far my favourite fandom and I gotta say, I've really missed writing these little Jay-centric stories. For a while, I felt like a part of me was missing. Yup, you guessed it. It was writing. I'm so glad I've found my way back to it again :)

I wish you all the best, and I really hope I manage to post the next chapter sometime next week. (I may or may not have a long-awaited surprise planned for the chapter after the next, but more on that at the end of the next chapter. Don't wanna spoil anything XD)

Until then :)

Love, N

PS: I just realised we're about to reach 100,000 words. That's insane! I still can't believe it, I'm so happy, we've come this far. I feel incredibly blessed and thankful for all your support :) Okay, I'm gonna shut up for real now XD