(After)Life: I Will Always Come For You
"Sir?"
General Kenzo Narita of the Japanese Strategic Self Defense Force looked up from the reports on his desk. In the doorway of the general's office stood Lt. Haru Tsuji, a tall, wiry man with closely shorn grey hair and a very prominent bald spot.
"Shinji Ikari just got in contact with us," Lt. Tsuji said. "He's agreed to our terms, and is on his way."
General Narita breathed out. "Well. That's…good, I suppose. What was his disposition?"
"Angry," Lt. Tsuji answered. "Unstable. He seemed like he was crying, actually."
Hmmm. Well, a year spent wandering a dead world that you were responsible for murdering would make any child more than a little emotionally fraught. "Get ready for his arrival, then. Have the snipers in position. I want him shot on sight."
General Narita looked back down to his papers, the matter dismissed in his mind. However, it seemed that the lieutenant did not agree, as soon the general realized that his subordinate was still lingering by the door.
Sighing, General Narita looked back up. "Was something unclear about my orders?" he asked, folding his hands on the desk.
Lt. Tsuji's mouth thinned out. "It's just…we promised him safe passage, and here we are, planning on sniping him?"
"We are," General Narita said. "And do you know why?"
"Well…"
General Narita got up from his desk and stormed over to the window. He pointed out at the ruined city that sat beneath a red sky, bordered by a red ocean. "That's why. We were sent to keep that from happening. We failed. We failed, and Shinji Ikari killed the world."
Lt. Tsuji glanced dubiously at the room's only other occupant. "And that is why…"
"Correct," General Narita grunted, heading back to the desk. He shuffled the papers into a manila envelope and tapped the bottom of the envelope against the desk to even the papers out. "It might not be pretty. It might not be honorable. But neither was our original mission." He looked Lt. Tsuji right in the eye. "And we failed that mission, Lieutenant. We failed, and the world died." He motioned again at the window. "But the world's coming back. It has a second chance. But so long as those who killed it the first time still walk its corpse, they can kill it again. I will not let that happen. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, sir," Lt. Tsuji said with a slight nod.
General Narita favored the other man with a small smile. "Don't worry, Lieutenant. I don't like it either. But to prevent a Fourth Impact…"
"Yes, sir. I understand, sir." Lt. Tsuji took a deep breath. "I will relay your orders."
"See that you do. Dismissed."
The lieutenant saluted and left the room, leaving General Narita…mostly alone.
The general's office had once been the on-site manager's office of the warehouse that General Narita and his men had converted into their new headquarters. Located in Tokyo-3's wharf district, the warehouse had been far enough from the attack on the Geofront to survive…mostly intact. That, coupled with its easily defended location and copious amount of space, it made for the ideal place for the remnants of the JSSDF to use as their new headquarters.
All twenty-seven of them.
A little more than a year had passed since Third Impact, a little more than a year since all of humanity had been unjustly forced into Instrumentality, their bodies liquifying into LCL, their minds and souls joining together into a singular consciousness. No more secrets, no more petty prejudices and squabble, no more division.
No more reason to exist.
Naturally, such a state proved to be intolerable for most, and people began to reassert their sense of self in fairly short order. Little by little, humanity began to emerge from the LCL ocean, staggering their way onto the shores of a rotting world. Unfortunately, they did not do so all at once. General Narita clawed his way back to existence within the first month, only to be forced to wait for the rest of his forces to do the same.
As it stood, only a small fraction of the veritable army he had led to NERV Headquarters had returned to life, and of the ones that he had managed to contact, only twenty-seven were willing to stand with him. The rest either abandoned their duty, leaving Tokyo-3 to try to find some way home, while the others joined the fledgling survivor camps that were popping up throughout Tokyo-3, even if they were mainly made up of their original targets.
General Narita did not hold that decision against them. Third Impact had been something of the great unifier, and whatever differences that they might have had before didn't seem as serious now. As he understood it, Third Impact had been carried out by NERV's central command, while most of the rank-and-file members only thought themselves to be an organization tasked with defending Earth from the Angels, as they had originally presented themselves. He wished them well.
However, the mission still remained. While the top elite brass of NERV had yet to reveal themselves, the trigger men were already walking the ruined Earth. Two of the Evangelion Pilots, Asuka Langley-Soryu and Shinji Ikari, were the first to return. So long as they lived, the fate of the world remained balanced on the edge of a blade.
That would be resolved today. Shinji Ikari would be eliminated once and for all, forever preventing from finishing what he started. And as for Asuka Langley-Soryu, well…
General Narita looked over to the room's only other occupant, who sat strapped to a nearby metal folding chair with duct tape, with more tape sealing her mouth and a blindfold covering her eyes. It was a young girl in her mid-teens, one with long orangish-brown hair, sharp green eyes beneath that blindfold, and features that displayed a mixture of Japanese and European ancestry. German, according to her profile. A number of red scars covered her body, no doubt a result of the harsh conditions brought upon by Third Impact. She wore a plain white T-shirt and grey sweatpants, which were not the clothing that she had been brought in. When his men had brought her in, of course a strip search had been conducted, though General Narita insisted that it be performed by his female aides while he and all other men turned their backs. The girl may be a monster, but she was still a young girl, and thus deserved some measure of modesty and dignity.
"Your friend will soon arrive," General Narita informed her. "As I told you earlier, he has agreed to surrender himself in exchange for your life."
Though Asuka Langley-Soryu could not speak and though he could not see her eyes, the way that she turned her head in the direction of the sound of his voice suggested a venomous glower.
"MmmMMMrrrRRRPPpphHHH!" she said.
General Narita pursed his lips.
Then he reached down and ripped the duct tape from her lips.
Not expecting the sudden tearing pain, the girl screamed out in surprise and pain. Then she unloaded a torrent of angry words, none of which General Narita understood. Probably German.
He stood there, patiently allowing her to get all of that pent-up spite out of her system. Despite everything, he felt that he owed her that much, at least.
However, it seemed that her system's spite was self-generating, and she just kept going and going. General Narita sighed. He didn't have time for this.
"That's enough," he said, grabbing the nearby spool of duct tape from where it lay on the desk and yanking free a strip. He then shoved it over the girl's mouth, muffling her ranting.
Not that she was at all dissuaded. She kept right on hurling verbal abuse, albeit now muffled by her gag. Just as well. It wasn't as if he could understand her either way.
Ignoring her, General Narita turned back to the desk to ready himself for Ikari's arrival.
…
Through the wharf district walked a young boy.
He was nothing impressive to look at. A scrawny, lanky teenager with a frame that had just began its growth spurt, leaving him in that awkward phase of half-formed features and a body that wasn't even trying to catch up. He had short dark hair that missed the touch of a comb, glowering dark eyes wet with tears, and a soft face twisted into a determined grimace. He wore blue jeans and a faded black leather jacket over a tie-dyed T-shirt. In his hands he carried an automatic assault rifle.
He walked slowly but with purpose, obviously terrified but unfaltering. His whole body was trembling, and tears continued to stream down his face. But he kept walking.
As soon as he got close to the JSSDF's headquarters, three red dots appeared on his body: two on his chest, and one zeroing in on his forehead. He didn't stop, as he couldn't see them.
Then his head simply vanished into a fine red mist.
The boy fell limply to the ground, his weapon falling from his hands to clatter on the concrete. Immediately he was swarmed by three men wearing heavy armor. They stripped his body of everything: his weapon first, and then his pockets were turned out. After that his clothes were torn off.
What they found caused quite the commotion. The boy had a number of explosive devices strapped to his body, from a belt of grenades under his pants, to a small plastic explosive taped to his stomach, all of it spray-painted black for some reason.
The soldiers of course immediately fled for cover upon discovering those, but when nothing exploded, they returned to investigate. The bombs all required manual detonation, and with the boy now dead, they remained inert.
Satisfied that the threat was eliminated, they seized his naked and headless body by the arms to drag him inside.
…
Atop a nearby hill, the Other watched the proceedings through a pair of binoculars.
She was tense, her whole body shaking with anxiety. Sweat dripped down her brow despite the coolness of the night, and she had to keep wiping it away so as to not blur her vision.
This whole ordeal had her on edge, and she hated it. When Ikar…when Shinji had come to her for help, she had been horrified by what he asked of her. How could he even suggest such a thing? How could he ever believe that she would go along with such madness?
And yet, here she was, about to do just that. Because the alternative was letting the Second be taken away.
The thought of that was simply unbearable. The Second…did not like her. Hated her, in fact. And the Other could not bear to let things end that way between them.
They were the same. Kin, in a way. But things were broken between them. The damage caused by the selfish actions of that…the Commander saw to that. The three of them ought to be united, looking out for one another and seeing to each other's needs.
But they weren't. Shinji and the Second were together, but treated each other horribly. Shinji was at least kind to the Other, but he was still disturbed by her presence, something that she saw during each of his brief visits. And the Second hated her, and wanted nothing to do with her.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't why she came back. A change needed to be made.
Now here she was, taking part in a mad plan that had very little chance of succeeding, that spelled great torment for all of them even under the best of circumstances. Because it was all that they had.
She continued to watch as Shinji painfully made his way to the meeting point. At either side sat her weapons. To her right was a high-powered automatic assault rifle. And to her left was a small box with a metal antenna and a large silver switch.
Through the binoculars' view, Shinji continued to stagger forward…and then immediately collapsed. The Other's heart leapt into her throat. Had he succumbed to the damage that the package was continuously doing to his insides?
No. There were the JSSDF soldiers rushing toward them. They shot him.
Cowards! They promised him that he would be safe! They lied! Kill them, kill them, kill them!
Her hand went to the box.
NO!
She paused, her thumb already nudging the switch.
Shinji made you promise! He said that this might happen! You can't do it until he's inside.
The Other let out a long, shuddering breath. She wanted to kill them. She wanted so badly to kill them.
…
"Sir? The Third Child has been eliminated."
General Narita slowly nodded. "Good. Good. Was he armed?"
"Yes, sir. He had one of our own assault rifles, no doubt salvaged from the NERV Headquarters, as well as a NERV security pistol shoved into his waistband and a number of knives in his pockets. He also had on a makeshift explosive belt and taped a small plastic explosive to his stomach. No doubt he was planning on making this a suicide mission."
General Narita raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Did he attempt to set them off?"
"No, sir. He was shot down before he even knew that he was being targeted."
Hmmm. A desperate attempt at a last stand, perhaps? But why? Surely he would have known that there was no chance of ever successfully smuggling those explosive close enough to make a difference.
General Narita reminded himself that for all of the atrocities caused by his hand, Shinji Ikari was still, in fact, a child. A child burdened by having brought the end of the world. A child that had spent the last several months eking out an existence in the world that he had destroyed. One couldn't expect carefully considered tactics and logical thinking from a young boy like that.
"Well, the deed is done," he said. "I'll dispose of the other. Bring the body in. I want them both burned within the hour. Out."
"Yes, sir. Out."
He turned to Langley-Soryu. Curiously, she had stopped ranting, and was now sitting quietly. Her head was tilted to one side, almost as if she were listening.
"Your friend is dead," General Narita told her. "Soon, you will be as well."
It was, perhaps, a somewhat flat final address to the condemned. But that was all she deserved.
Despite the finality of his words, he still held off from carrying out the deed out of curiosity. How would she react? Rage? Denial? Would she start crying? All of those would be understandable reactions. Despite the monstrous things that this girl had done, she was still human.
Instead, Langley-Soryu simply exhaled a long sigh, her shoulders deflating.
Then her body began to tremble.
It began as a shiver in her neck and shoulders. At first General Narita thought that she was shaking with fear, but it grew stronger, more rhythmic. The condemned girl started making a strange chuffing sound from behind her gag, almost as if she were…
Laughing? The girl was laughing?
General Narita shook his head. Well, it seemed that she truly was mad. That was not surprising. Just as Ikari's experiences would have rendered him irritational and unstable, her own would no doubt have had a similar effect.
Well. No point in putting things off, then.
General Narita unholstered his sidearm, took aim at the side of her head, and fired.
The muffled laughter cut out immediately. Langley-Soryu jerked once, and then slumped into her restraints, blooding seeping into her orangish-brown hair on both sides of her head.
Mission accomplished. Too late to prevent the calamity that they had been sent to stop, but it was accomplished nonetheless. Now the world could rebuild in peace.
…
Wait.
The Other watched anxiously as Shinji was brought into the warehouse.
Wait.
Both of her hands now clutched the detonator. Press it. She wanted to press it. She wanted to press it and send them all to Hell.
Her thumbs ran over the edges of the switch, almost caressing it. All she had to do was press it, and they would all die.
Do it. Do it. Do it!
No, said the Commander. The Other froze. He was here. She could feel his presence fill the space behind her, could feel his heavy breathing upon her neck.
Remember what I made you for. Remember your purpose. The Scenario is all that matters.
The Scenario. Right.
Once, she would have had no problem whatsoever waiting patiently for the right time to carry out her mission. Once, Shinji's death and the Second's capture wouldn't even have registered as anything more than a problem to be solved. But that was two lives ago, when she had been incomplete, nothing more than an obedient doll with half an inhuman soul.
Two deaths since and two rebirths, and things were different. She felt things now, felt and thought things previously alien to her. Her soul was no longer halved and no longer alien. Emotion no longer seemed a foreign concept to her.
And she hated it.
She wanted to be complete so as to rejoin with the other two, to be able to experience human attachments on their level. But they rejected her. Rejected and wanted nothing to do with her. Even Shinji's continued concern was laced with revulsion. Now, she was left with feelings that she could not control and no attachments to make it all worth it.
But before…
Remember. Remember what it was like before. Remember how to detach. Remember how not to care. Remember to focus on the Scenario.
Remember how to be a doll.
The Other exhaled. She could do this. She could be a good, obedient tool for an Ikari, one last time.
She straightened her back, and when her hands again grasped the detonator, they no longer shook.
…
From his perch on the catwalk overlooking the rest of the warehouse, General Narita watched as Ikari's body was hauled inside. To be honest, he was almost disappointed. For the one who ended the world, Ikari seemed so small, so…insignificant. The nude corpse of a scrawny teenaged boy, one who had spray-painted his middle black in vain hopes of hiding the bomb that he had taped there. If that was what passed for strategic thinking, then perhaps their plan had been overcomplicated. They probably could have just rooted out wherever he had been hiding and shot him down.
Still, destroy the world he had, and now the deed was done. The two remaining Evangelion Pilots were no more. And once the last bits of NERV had been burned away, they could work on rebuilding. Find the rest of the JSSDF that had emerged from the LCL sea. Try to get in contact with the rest of the world. Find their families or ready themselves for their return.
The world would heal.
He looked down at Asuka Langley-Soryu's corpse, which he had set down on the catwalk next to him. He had removed the blindfold and the tape gagging her mouth. Though it had been pointless to do so, she at least was owed some measure of respect in death. "I feel compelled to apologize," he said. "It is not your fault that you were groomed into the servitude of a madman. However, it was necessary."
The dead girl of course did not respond, her glassy green eyes staring vacantly at…
…at him?
Wait.
General Narita frowned. He stepped back.
The dead girl's eyes continued to follow him. What was more, they no longer had the glaze of death.
He then looked to her neck. She was breathing.
But how? He had shot her dead! Right through the skull!
General Narita's eyes then darted to the bullet's point of entry. The hair there was still matted with her blood and brains, but the skin beneath was healed. The hole was gone!
No!
"Sir!" one of his men called from down below. "Ikari…I think he's moving!"
General Narita had no idea what was going on, but he wasn't about to let it continue. "Kill him!" he yelled as he pulled his side-arm to kill the Second Child again. "Whatever he's doing, kill him now!"
Then the blood-splattered face of the dead girl turned completely to look into his eyes, and her lips parted in a savage grin.
…
Now. Now is the time.
The Other shoved her thumb against the switch.
…
On the nearby rooftop, Pvt. Takeshi Oogi was ill at ease.
That was to be expected. He had just blown the head off of a teenaged boy with no warning, a boy that was heading over to surrender himself. Yes, that boy so happened to be a monster, and yes, it wasn't the first time Pvt. Oogi had killed. But it was still unsettling.
Now the body was being carried inside to be disposed of. The girl was surely dead by now, and soon both her and Ikari's bodies would be ash.
And yet, something was wrong. It wasn't anything that he saw, but instead it was something that he felt. After everything that had happened, Ikari had gone down too easily. He had behaved exactly as they had wanted, walked right out into the open, and was eliminated without difficultly. Yes, the bombs had given them a scare, but those ultimately proved harmless. The boy was dead. So why was he-
Then the warehouse that served as the JSSDF's headquarters simply exploded.
A concussive wave of heat and force barreled out of the building as all of the windows and doors blew out. The men standing guard outside screamed as they caught fire, fleeing and burning. Some ran aimlessly, their terror making it impossible for them to think. Others tried to run toward the LCL-choked waters, anything to douse the flames. It didn't matter. They all died the same.
As for Pvt. Oogi, he had just enough time to turn his head toward the noise before the wall of fire filled his vision.
The next thing he knew, he was lying on the cold, hard ground, his whole body wracked with agony. Gasping, he tried to reorient himself, tried to come to his senses, but the world wouldn't stop spinning.
Summoning up all of his willpower, he struggled to push himself up, only to collapse. Something was broken. Maybe everything was broken. Everything hurt. His eyes wouldn't focus, and he couldn't hear anything other than a faint ringing.
Bright light rushed past his vision. Two men were running by, both of them on fire, their arms flailing in the air. However, despite their panic, their movements were oddly synchronized. Pvt. Oogi frowned. What…?
Then his vision cleared up just a bit. No, it was only one burning man; Pvt. Oogi was just seeing double. Poor bastard, though. That really had to hurt.
His hearing was starting to clear up as well. The ringing began to fade, and he was starting to hear the sounds of…
Screams.
Burning flames and screams.
Curious, Pvt. Oogi watched as the burning man continued to run aimlessly. Where did he think he was going? If he wanted to extinguish the fires, then the ocean was the other way. Not that Pvt. Oogi could blame him for not wanting to dive into those foul, LCL-choked waters. It would be like diving into an ocean of blood.
Then there came a sharp crack, and the burning man fell to the ground and lay still.
Huh.
Now shouting mixed with the screaming. Pvt. Oogi watched as another man, this one smoking but not burning, limped into view. The man was struggling with an assault rifle, trying to bring it to bear, only to suddenly topple lifelessly to the ground as well.
There were two more loud cracks, and the screaming lessened. As did the shouting.
And then Pvt. Oogi heard the sound of footsteps.
Someone was striding across the concrete floor of the wharf, someone wearing heavy boots. Confused, he tried to turn his head in the direction of the footsteps.
A figure wearing all-black combat gear and a concealing helmet was approaching. They held a high-powered rifle of their own. As Pvt. Oogi watched, they paused, took aim, and fired.
The last of the screaming stopped.
The black figure continued on their way, surveying the chaos. Pvt. Oogi wondered if they had something to do with it. It would make sense.
Then the black figure turned its visored face toward him. Pvt. Oogi blinked.
The black figure raised its rifle toward him.
Oh.
…
General Narita was not dead.
But he wished that he were.
Everything felt like it was on fire. Perhaps it was. Everything around him certainly was!
Diving for cover had saved him, for all the good that had done. He blinked through the smoke, struggling to make some sense of the destruction around him. As he did, he caught sight of his arm.
The entire sleeve of his uniform was gone, and underneath was burnt flesh, cooked red and black.
Ikari. The boy had actually managed to smuggle a bomb…inside of him? How? Did he swallow it? How did he set it off?
Then he heard a pained groan.
General Narita squinted in the direction of the catwalk. There was a body there, slumped partially over the edge, a body burned even worse than he was, a body wearing the smoking remains of sweatpants.
Langley-Soryu. Well, at least there was some justice. Ikari had taken her out along with him.
The girl's charred body slid off the edge of the catwalk to fall into the inferno below. If he were able, General Narita would have laughed. Mission accomplished, he supposed. Again.
Then there came a loud roar, followed by a crash.
What?
Though it was agony to do so, General Narita managed to force his mangled body to claw and crawl its way over to the catwalk, pulling himself centimeter by painful centimeter until he could see the floor below.
As predicted, his men were all gone. Those that hadn't disintegrated in the explosion were now burning lumps on the floor. Everything else was on fire. It wouldn't be long before the whole place collapsed.
However, someone was moving. A white pickup truck that had not been there before now sat in the center of the floor. Behind it, a large hole had been blasted through the wall. General Narita stared, dumbstruck. Who in the hell was that?
Then the driver's door opened, and out stepped someone in all black. They had on a helmet, so General Narita couldn't see who it was. As he watched, the black-clad figure walked around through the blaze, evidently searching for something.
They apparently found it. Kneeling down, they came up with what looked like charcoal packed into the vague shape of a human torso, one that still had a head and upper arms attached. The black-clad figure took the fried corpse over to the truck and threw it into the bed.
Ikari? Is that what's left of him? But why? He's dead! Why would they want him back?
Then the black-clad figure walked deeper into the blaze until it was out of sight from General Narita's vantage point. When it again emerged, it was carrying Langley-Soryu's charred body in its arms. No doubt the girl was dead by now, so it this was some kind of rescue, then it was a very belated one!
The black-clad figure tossed Langley-Soryu's body into the back of the truck along with Ikari's. Its work done, it started to climb back into the cab of the truck.
Then it paused. Turning its helmeted head, it looked right up toward where General Narita was lying.
As General Narita stared, the black-clad figure reached up to grip the underside of its helmet and lifted it off.
And he found himself staring into the scarlet eyes of the Devil herself.
Sudden terror seized his heart. No! It couldn't be! She was dead! Her enormous corpse was in pieces just offshore! How could it be her? How could it be her?
Rei Ayanami held his petrified gaze for a moment longer before climbing into the truck and slamming the door. The engine roared to life, and the truck reversed hard through the hole it had made on its way in.
Shaking with agony and fear, General Narita rolled onto his back. It couldn't be her. But it was! She was alive!
But if she was alive, then did that mean that Ikari and Langley-Soryu might also-
Then there came a low groan. The ceiling above General Narita began to cave in.
"Oh, fuck," he whispered as Hell fell to meet him.
…
"…Asuka…an you hear…"
Asuka felt awful. Her head lifelessly lolled to one side and she groaned.
"Asuka? Are you all right?
Stupid Shinji. Couldn't he see that she was sick? Why didn't he just leave her alone? She needed sleep.
Something was pressing up to her lips. The plastic rim of a cup. She tried to move away, but then cool water brushed her chapped lips, and the choice was out of her hands.
She drank greedily. Somehow, that water tasted sweeter than any other drink she had ever had. It flowed down her ravaged throat like cherry punch.
As it did, her memories began to collect themselves. She had…kidnapped? Captured? Held hostage? What was the right word?
Those JSSDF bastards. They had taken her unawares, snatching her when she had been scavenging through a machine shop. They beat her, humiliated her, tied her up and make her look like a fool. They said that they were what remained of the force that had attacked NERV headquarters, the same ones that Asuka had utterly demolished before those hideous so-called Evangelions swooped in to steal her glory.
Though Asuka's eyes remained closed, she felt the lids begin to twitch. The entire world destroyed, she and Shinji the only two people left, and those that she hated still keep crawling out of the primordial soup that humanity had been reduced to just to make her already lousy life worse.
There came the sound of pouring water. As it did, Asuka came to realize that she was lying against a soft lap, with someone's arm cradling her.
Shinji. He came for her. He actually came for her.
The cup again pressed against Asuka's lips, and she drank. As she did, she found herself almost overwhelmed with gratitude. Though her eyes were still closed, she felt the tears well up beneath the lids.
As the now-empty cup was taken away, Asuka lunged up, her hand coming up to find Shinji's neck and pull him down into a grateful kiss.
Soft lips met her own…and she immediately realized that it wasn't Shinji.
Asuka's eyes opened, and she found herself staring into the very surprised red eyes of Rei Ayanami.
"GWAH!" Asuka cried and she lurched back. "What are you doing, you perverted dyke! Did you blow me up just so you could have your way with me?"
Rei continued to stare. Then, without breaking eye contract, she reached up to wipe her mouth with her wrist. "You…You are the one who kissed me."
"I thought you were Shinji!" The cup was nearby. Asuka snatched it up and threw it at Rei. Very weakly. It bounced off of Rei's forearm. She didn't react.
"What are you even doing here?" Asuka snapped. "I told you already! I don't want anything to do with you or your-"
"Asuka!"
Asuka blinked. Then she turned her head.
They were in the small apartment that she and Shinji had put together in what once had been the teacher's lounge in the Tokyo-3 High School. Shinji was lying on the futon not far away. He was in bad shape, his face hollow and his eyes shrunken in. But he was alive.
"Don't…Don't blame Ayanami," he said, and then began coughing. "I, uh, I'm the one that asked her to help."
Asuka's temper flared up. "Why? You know I don't want her anywhere near me!"
"Because I couldn't do it alone!" Shinji snapped back. "I needed help! If Ayanami hadn't agreed-"
"It is all right, Shinji," Rei said softly. She rose to her feet, brushed off her knees, and walked away from Asuka. "I am glad that our plan was a success. I will leave now."
"Ayanami, wait!" Shinji struggled to sit up. "Asuka didn't mean it!"
"The hell I didn't!" Asuka retorted. "You don't speak for me!"
Rei shot her the briefest of looks. Then she said, "If that kiss was truly intended for Shinji, then it is only right that I return it to its proper owner."
Before anyone could reach, Rei knelt down and pressed her lips to Shinji's.
Asuka's eyes went wide. She opened her mouth to say something, to demand that that creep take her hands off of Shinji, but all that came out was a strangled squeak.
Without so much as a word, Rei parted from Shinji, who was staring bug-eyed at her, and then walked from the room. The door swung shut, and they heard the sound of her walking down the hallway.
It wasn't until the sound of Rei's footsteps had faded entirely that Shinji and Asuka finally looked at each other. Asuka opened her mouth to again yell at Shinji for involving her, that Rei clearly was looking to steal Shinji from Asuka, but Shinji just sighed and said, "Please don't. I needed her help, and she didn't ask for anything in return. If she hadn't agreed, then there was no way I could've gotten you out."
Through great force of will, Asuka was able to clamp her jaws shut, though she still glared daggers at him. For his part, Shinji just coughed several times before drinking weakly from a nearby plastic water bottle.
"Why did you blow yourself up?" Asuka said at last.
Placing the bottle down, Shinji wiped his mouth and said, "Only way we could think of to take enough of them out."
Asuka's nostrils flared. "Idiot. There's still all that artillery at NERV HQ! You could've-"
"I don't know how any of that works, and neither did she," Shinji sighed. "Asuka, we had no idea what they were doing to you. For all we knew, if we didn't act fast, they would take you away forever. I couldn't let that happen."
"So you blew yourself up? I was right there, stupid! Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"
Now Shinji looked a little sheepish. "Sorry about that. I was hoping that they'd bring you close enough so that the explosion would kill you instantly so you wouldn't suffer."
It was such an utterly insane thing to say that Asuka genuinely could not think up a response. After all, this was a guy who considered blowing himself up and her with him to be an adequate rescue mission.
And the sorry thing is that it worked.
Asuka's shoulders slumped with a sigh. "How did you do it?" she said. "That douchebag said that they took all the bombs off of you."
Here, Shinji almost looked proud. "The bombs and guns were a distraction. I wanted them to think that they got everything."
Asuka frowned. "So, how'd you do it already?"
"I…uh…" Shinji winced. "I had Rei slice open my stomach, and we put the bomb in there and let the skin grow back over it."
"You did what?" Asuka reflexively leapt to her feet, only to be struck with a sudden bout of dizziness that forced her back down again. "I…what…have you completely lost what's left of your stupid mind?"
To this, Shinji's head merely lolled to one side so he could give her a silent, hollow-eyed look.
Asuka felt like she was going insane. Well, actually, she technically was insane. How else could one explain the disturbingly intense hallucinations that she, Shinji, and even Rei often suffered from?
Still, this was an entirely new level of insanity! To actually cut open his own flesh just to put a bomb in there? The pain must have been overwhelming, even after the skin had sealed up! Honestly, it's impressive that he was even able to make it to the wharf without passing out!
"Why?" she said in a hoarse whisper.
Shinji's face twisted up in confusion. "What-" Another fit of coughing cut him off. "What do you mean?"
"Why do that for me?" Asuka demanded. "After everything…" Images flashed through her head, showing her all the times she had yelled at him. Insulted him. Demeaned him. Both before and after Third Impact.
Hit him.
Kicked him.
Even shot him once.
I don't deserve you.
"I'm not even nice to you! You could have been rid of me, and be left alone with your own pathe-" Asuka bit down on her tongue to keep the insult from escaping. She shook her head and tried again. "You could have let me go, and you'd be free. Free to…do whatever. Even go be with…with Rei." Even now, just saying that abomination's name was like chewing on ash. "So, why did you?"
Shinji stared at her like she had suddenly started babbling absolute gibberish. "Asuka. I told you. No matter what, no matter where you are, I will always come for you. I owe you that much."
Asuka's nostrils flared. "So it's just some obligation to you?" she snapped.
"No!" Now Shinji was actually starting to sound irritated. "Asuka, what is it going to take to convince you that I care about you?"
Asuka stared down at him. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. She closed it, opened it again, only to say nothing.
Then she stood up.
"Uh, what?" Shinji said, his gaunt face twisting up in confusion.
Asuka didn't respond. She just walked on unsteady legs over to him. It was a struggle to keep her balance, but she kept one foot in front of the other, making her way across the room only to have her legs begin to wobble just as she reached Shinji's futon, forcing her to sit down rather suddenly.
Shinji cringed as she approached, no doubt anticipating some kind of retaliation for basically burning Asuka alive. Asuka was tempted. Yes, he had saved her, but that didn't mean that he had to do it in the way that he had!
Asuka's throat tightened. "You're just…you can't care about me! Nobody does!"
The hollow look in Shinji's eyes was more of a rebuke than anything he could say.
"Shut up, idiot!" she screamed, though he hadn't actually said anything. "You were stupid to come after me! Because you know I would never do the same for you!"
Finally, her words had impact. Shinji's eyes went wide, and he actually sat up a little. Asuka felt a deep sense of satisfaction. Good! He ought to!
Then she saw the glistening of tears, and he looked down, the hurt of her words all over his face.
"Think what you want," Shinji said at last. "I'm too tired to argue."
With that, he lay down and turned away from her, pulling his blanket up to his shoulders.
Asuka's mouth fell open. He wasn't…there was no way…was she being ignored? First he goes to that…that dyke whore when he knew that Asuka hated her, and then they set Asuka on fire, and now he was ignoring her?
Piping hot indignation welled up within her, and she raised her hand to smack the idiot for his disrespect.
Then Shinji turned his head just enough to look up at her from over his shoulder. His eyes went to her infuriated face, then to her upraised hand, and then back to her face with no change in expression.
Then he sighed and turned his head ever so slightly, offering her his cheek.
Asuka froze in place, her hand still raised. She wanted to hit him. And honestly, who could blame her? After what he did, after everything he had ever done to her, she was owed this!
He came for you.
Yeah, but-
He endured immense agony for you.
Okay, but he still-
He blew himself up for you.
That didn't change the fact that he-
He killed for you.
But that idiot still-
He could have left you. He could have gone to be with Rei instead. Rei would never hurt him. Rei would never call him names, would never insult and degrade him. But he still came for you. Because he thought that you were worth saving.
That's not-
Was he right?
That's not-
Was he right?
Tears streamed down Asuka's face, and she turned and fled from the room into the hallways of the school.
Stupid, stupid, stupid Shinji! He did that on purpose! Rescue her in the most agonizing, humiliating way imaginable, have that inhuman bitch Rei involved so Asuka would owe her, and make it so she couldn't even push back for being literally burned alive! Damn him! Damn them both!
The bathroom was fortunately near the teacher's lounge. She stumbled into the dark room and fumbled around for the electric lantern that they had set up on the sink. Unfortunately, they still hadn't figured out how to restore power to the school, and with the power grid very much destroyed by the JSSDF's assault of Tokyo-3, it was doubtful that they ever would.
Asuka tried to turn the lantern on, but her fingers trembled so hard that they slipped twice before she was able to grip the switch and push it.
The light came on, illuminating the mirror over the rows of sinks.
A horrifically burnt corpse stared back at her.
Asuka screamed and lurched back. Her legs went out from under her, and she crashed back into an open toilet stall. Her head smacked against the porcelain bowl, and she saw stars.
When her vision cleared, she was lying curled up on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet, clutching at her head.
"Ow…ow…ow…" she whimpered.
The pain faded quickly. That was one of the benefits of their new "condition," whatever it was. All hurts, no matter how severe, patched themselves up in short order. And if Shinji was to be believed, even exploding and being immolated wasn't enough to truly end their lives.
But if that were true, then why was she still burned? And why didn't she feel it?
Still lying in the dark, Asuka ran her hand up and down her arm. It felt like normal flesh. She stood up and, though she was hesitant to do so, forced herself to again look at herself in the mirror.
Her face stared back at her. She was…well, not normal, but not burned. Her body had fully restored itself.
So. Another hallucination. She ought to have guessed.
However, though she was no longer a charred corpse, it wasn't true that her body had completely healed. In the pale light of the lantern she could still see the ugly red marks all over her torso, the blotch that marred one eye, and the sharp red line that cut down the center of her arm. They were scars, permanent marks of the teeth and claws of SEELE's hideous abominations. Despite her having torn the lot of them to pieces, they had risen up again, descending en masse upon Unit 02 when her power had run out. Together, they had ripped Unit 02 to shreds, and Asuka, then synchronized beyond anything that anyone had ever thought possible, had felt every claw and tooth.
Her hands clutching the sink, Asuka slumped forward, her shoulders shaking as the sobs began to pour out. It wasn't fair. She was the only one who hadn't done anything wrong, the only one who had fought to the bitter end. So why was she also the only one to be marked this way? Shinji and Rei had both destroyed the world, and they looked fine! No disgusting scars on their bodies.
Only her.
The tears again flowed down her broken face. She turned the light off so that she wouldn't have to see what she had become and sank down to the floor. Alone in a dead city, she cried and cried, wishing that she had never come back, wishing that she could die.
"Wark?"
Sniffing, Asuka looked up. Even in the dark, she could make out the small, rotund ball of fluff that was Pen-Pen. She and Shinji had found him a few weeks in, wandering around Hitomi Horaki's abandoned apartment and close to starvation.
Keeping Pen-Pen alive was a challenge, as food and clean water was already in short supply, and their ever-restoring bodies needed a lot of sustenance. But they did so anyway, and Asuka was glad for it. Taking care of Pen-Pen kept them from falling to pieces. It kept them sane.
And he repaid them in his own way.
Pen-Pen looked down at the cowering naked girl and cocked his head. "Wark?" he said again.
Asuka extended one trembling hand and laid it on the soft down of his shoulder.
He was warm.
The sobs again broke free, and Asuka hugged the bird to herself, bawling like a child. "I'm so fucked up," she whispered to herself. "I'm so fucked up. Why? Why do I have to be so broken? Why can't I be fixed? Why, Pen-Pen? Why?"
Pen-Pen, for his part, was accustomed to giving comfort to his two emotionally unstable caretakers, so he tolerated her weeping and hugging with all the solemn grace that one would expect from a large, intelligent bird that had been brought up by the absolute emotional trainwreck that was Misato Katsuragi.
Asuka cried until she ran out of tears. Sighing, she withdrew from Pen-Pen. She felt…tired. Drained. But better.
"Thanks, buddy," she said, kissing him on the forehead. "I bet you want dinner. Let's go."
She led him back to the teacher's lounge. There, Shinji was still lying under the covers, seemingly asleep, though Asuka knew better. Ignoring him, she went over to one of the many coolers and took out a Tupperware container of steamed rice, tuna fish, and gravy and scooped it into a bowl for Pen-Pen.
Once the penguin had been seen to, she then turned to the boy that she shared her life with. Asuka walked over to him and looked him over.
Though Shinji's body was like her, forever trapped as it was at the moment of Third Impact, he was still far thinner than he had been. Their supplies were meager, and they needed far more food than they had. No doubt fully restoring himself from literally blowing himself up had taken everything he had.
Asuka knew how he felt. She felt empty inside, and not just from the crying.
But she was also too tired to worry about food right now. Tomorrow. They would work on that tomorrow. For now…
She knelt down and lifted the edge of the blanket up. "Move over, dumbass," she said in a low voice. Shinji sighed, but scooted forward, letting her slip in behind him.
For a time, they just lay there, Asuka staring at the back of his neck, the only parts touching being her legs and his calves. Then she said, "I lied, by the way."
A few moments passed, and then Shinji said, "What?"
"About not doing the same for you." Asuka's arms slipped around his skinny waist, and she pressed in from behind, spooning his body with her own. "I lied. So, um…yeah."
"Oh."
Asuka bit her lip. She ought to apologize, but the very thought made her want to gag. So instead she just said, "Thank you." That ought to be enough, right?
Shinji didn't respond, but some of the tension seemed to leave him, and he relaxed.
Asuka closed her eyes, and soon the two of them were fast asleep.
…
In a small apartment in another part of the ruined city, Rei lay upon the worn and stained mattress and cried alone.
She was not alone. Those who she and Shinji had killed today stood in the room with her, staring down at her with ghostly eyes. She knew them all. She knew everyone. They all had been a part of her, after all.
And she killed them. She killed them and did it cold.
And for what? For the Second to reject her again? For being insulted and spit upon and called words that she didn't actually recognize but were probably very demeaning? For Shinji to again choose the Second despite how she mistreats him?
Curling up into a tight ball, Rei squeezed her eyes shut and continued to cry. She had been crying pretty much every day ever since she came back. She had thought that returning with a fully intact human soul would make her more appealing to Shinji, but instead, she was left alone with the full spectrum of human emotion and only seeming to experience the bad ones.
This wasn't worth it. At least when she had been Gendo Ikari's doll, she hadn't had enough sense of self to suffer. But now she did. And she hated it.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did she come back? She should have remained as part of Lilith! Or at the very least left a piece of her soul behind, as it used to be before Unit-00's destruction! Then it wouldn't hurt so badly. Then she wouldn't feel so alone.
Trapped with no one but ghosts for company, Rei cried herself to sleep.
…
I've had a few people ask me to show the early stages of the Pilots' relationship in the (After)Life universe. Well, obviously, it wasn't pretty, and they have a long way to go before reaching the mutually affectionate throuple that we see in Broken Together.
Until next time, everyone.