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WARNING: This fan-fic contains heavy themes including, but not limited to, suicide, depression, violence, blood, and death. Any instance of heavy/sensitive topic matter will be listed in their respective chapters. Please, heed the warnings.
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If you are struggling and need help with whatever you're going through and live in the US, please don't hesitate to reach out to the hotline. I implore anyone get the help they need—therapy, medication, counseling, anything. You are enough. You are valid. You are loved. Please keep fighting.
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National Suicide Hotline (US) - 1-800-273-8255
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This story has its own playlist on Spotify! Check out "The Fall: Violet Nightmare - Complete Setlist" to enjoy the songs that inspired the story!
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Cover Art by: Ziegelzeig
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WARNING: This chapter contains depictions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, blood, and death.
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= The Fall: Violet Nightmare =
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Chapter One - Until its Gone
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In a parallel reality, in a different plane of existence, we learned of horrors beyond comprehension.
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One decision, one chance, one moment—that's all it takes for a mammal to unravel.
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What would happen when the exhortation of Wisdom, Justice, and Love wasn't enough?
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"Honey," a mother wolf cooed, scooping the side of her son's muzzle, "you have to know that's not true at all. You are the strongest mammal I've ever known. You did everything right, how it was supposed to be."
"No, I didn't, and I'm not." Edward pulled away, wiping solemn tears away from his face. "Everything fell apart. I lost my job. My friend is practically gone. I let those terrible mammals knock me around like some ragdoll. I was tricked and dumb enough to play in their paws—or hooves, really. How on Earth could I be considered 'strong?'"
"And you know what strength is?"
"Yes!" Edward couldn't help but raise his voice. From the look on Charolete's unimpressed face, he hadn't given a correct response. Immediate regret came in the form of a meek, "I think…"
The female alpha sighed, disappointed. She stood up from the porch of their faux home and stepped in front of him. Charolete looked down upon her son with all the authority she could muster. The lupine felt tiny compared to her. He couldn't look her directly in the eye.
"Edward Varian Snow," her booming voice commanded with righteous ferocity. Its echoes expanded outward towards the vastness of eternity. Now he couldn't look away.
"If you wish to know what the strength you speak of is," she said, "then allow me to humor you."
With a snap of her fingers, the endless expanse of fields began to fade, morphing and transforming along with their homestead into something else entirely. Darkness consumed everything, including himself. The young wolf soon became a passenger to a destiny of his own design.
For better or for worse.
O O O
"Watch where you're going, Stripes!" a young male wolf ridiculed a newly tripped tiger.
Papers and books were strewn about the tiled floors of a high school hallway as if a bomb had exploded in the poor mammal's hands. Other members of the varsity fútbol team flanked the lupine, all chuckling and snickering under their breaths.
"Leave him alone!" the female lamb that had stood beside the feline shouted. "Or I'll make sure you never do that again, you jerk! You've already done enough!"
"So vicious," the wolf gloated with exaggerated fear. He warned with a sneer, "Tell him to watch where he's going next time."
Behind him, the posse of fit sport-mammals laughed on. The sheep fumed, lobbing their hoof into a fist. Before the ewe could take a savage swing in the wolf's direction, the tiger stood up and covered her hoof with his enormous paw.
"Sharla, don't," the raspy monotone of the tiger pleaded, "he's not worth it."
The taller striped mammal waited for her to stand down. She shot the bullied feline a strange look. Edward, proud and in control, looked on with a smirk.
Eventually, the pair finished their wordless exchange, and the lamb known as Sharla began to relax. Both the predator and prey began silently collecting the tiger's belongings scattered on the ground.
Satisfied with their handiwork, the jocks and the wolf pack leader took their leave. The canid, beneath the surface of his strong veneer, couldn't pretend that their short interaction was the first time he'd laid eyes on the striped mammal in over a week.
Charles looked terrible. The feline's features were stark—tired, downcast, and marked with a fresh bruise under his right eye. All the while, Charles refused to look at Edward directly.
Edward should have known better, then.
O O O
"Edward!" an elderly lupine followed out the door. "Please, come back. Let's talk and work this out."
"Why should I?" the young wolf retorted, throwing the last of his belongings into the back seat of his Herd Focus. "Lavender's already getting the house. Gary—that… outcast —headed off to that private university. You made it clear that I'm not needed. Why should I stay? There's nothing left for me here."
"Because we're family, Edward. We care about you."
"That's rich."
"Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
Slamming the trunk shut quieted the elder wolf. The inexperienced wolf turned to his father with a curled lip.
"Did Mom tell you to say that? I don't think I've ever seen you give so much thought to the well-being of your kids. Or was it Lavender? Did she think you could sucker me back home so I could take care of her two mistakes? Tell that to the guy that rutted her. Maybe you'll have better luck there."
The house behind them fell silent.
Alabaster crossed his arms and shot him a stern look. He couldn't let his son's petty insolence gain control of the conversation. He wasn't there to scold him.
"Since you feel you know exactly what's best for yourself, what will you do then? Hmm? Where will you go? You already threw away the fútbol scholarships your coach took months to negotiate; what other avenues could you possibly pursue?"
"Zootopia Central University for a major in Criminal Justice, graduate, then apply to the Police Academy," came Edward's matter-of-fact answer. He explained, "Becoming a police officer is the only path that'll allow me to get stronger and actually utilize it. That waiting-for-grass-to-grow bullcrap isn't my scene. And, sure, playing for some college team would be fun and all, but where else would I go? Even if I committed to playing fútbol professionally, it would take me years to make it big—if I hadn't collected some life-changing injury by then, that is. I'm not putting my body through something that won't matter long term.
"Besides, I don't see why you're worrying your tail off. It's already done. ZCU processed my application months ago. Classes start on Monday."
Colossal beats of bated breath allowed Alabaster to connect the dots.
"That's... that's days away!" His hushed shout stuttered. "Why would you sit on this until now? We could have helped you!" Another set of stressful seconds of reassessment brought another glaring detail to light. "How on Earth are you going to afford university? Without those scholarships, we can't afford to pay your way. Where are you going to live? How are you going to live?"
"I have my ways."
"That's not reassuring."
"Wasn't supposed to be."
Alabaster took a sharp breath and opened his scowl to scream vexing discontent at his touting son but recoiled at the last second, remembering who was still inside. The pups were fast asleep by now. A frustrated groan was all he could muster upon conceding his position. But he wasn't done with him. Not yet.
"Okay, fine! Let's say, theoretically, that you have a plan—you've sorted out your means of transportation, housing, and finances—great! If you are so adamant about joining the police force, why not set your sights on the Burrows? I'm certain the BBPD could use some muscle. But, if you're looking to get 'stronger' away from the Burrows, why not the army? You're certainly pig-headed enough."
"Staying in this shit-hole to settle and play make-believe, only to live in the house that was rightfully mine from the beginning? That's a hard pass. Enlisting would be even worse; being with a bunch of jackasses until I'm finally a soldier, then being stuck in a base, never seeing action for years to come? Yeah, I've done my research. That's not going to happen.
"I'm not a pup anymore. You guys already made your choice. My mind is made up."
Edward turned away and took some steps to the driver's side door, opening it.
"It's time for me to live my own life."
The young canid mammal put a foot into the car.
"Edward Varian Snow!"
Alabaster let a pent-up growl loose behind his back. The young wolf paused, ears pointed back, waiting for an outburst. There was so much disdain laced within that gesture. Edward barely stifled a laugh; this was on brand for Alabaster. Would his father prove him right after all?
No.
The infantile crying inside the house spoiled that chance.
The elder lupine exhumed a heavy exhale, taking himself down from the ledge. Alabaster took one step backward, then another, and began his retreat towards the house.
"If you think you know what's best for your future, go ahead. We won't stop you," Edward's father said. "Remember, it's a big world out there. You've made it clear that you don't want us to be there for you. Nevertheless, we're still family. We'll always be a phone call away should you need anything.
"We love you, Ed. Always have, always will."
Edward said nothing. He wouldn't need to.
The young canid took one last step into the car and shut the door behind him. Alone, he relaxed.
With one last glance into his rearview mirror, he watched Alabaster plant himself at the top step of the farmhouse's porch. Out of the house's doorway came his mother, slow and sad, carrying a loud bundle of joy, not taking her eyes off the car. She shuffled behind the sat father-wolf and put a paw on the back of her mate's head.
"Thanks for nothing," Edward scoffed.
His car barreled down the dirt driveway and onto the highway, bound for the wide, wild world.
He never said goodbye to them—to any of them. He didn't see the need.
O O O
"Hey, Edward. I know you're working your tail off at the Academy, and I wouldn't call unless it were important. But something's happened."
A shaken breath picked up in the phone's speaker.
"Charolete's gone, Ed. She's passed. Cancer. I don't know if you've seen our texts; we've been trying to get a hold of you for days."
The last part of the voicemail's message ripped whatever composure Alabaster had left. Sobs blew through the phone's speaker one after the other. Edward listened to each one.
Eventually, Alabaster found the courage to continue.
"We're planning on giving her a proper burial in the coming weeks. Optimistically, it looks like next Friday, maybe Saturday, which gives you and us about nine to ten days. We thought that we'd be able to give you a head start. She would have wanted us to provide you with that.
"Anyway, call us when you can, okay? We'd love to have you there. Maybe we could catch up, for old times' sake. Goodbye, son."
Half a day later, Edward stood frozen on the other end of the recording, fresh from the mess and into the wind-down period before he'd succumb to sleep. That night was the first opportunity he had to acknowledge the voicemail in its entirety.
When Alabaster's message concluded, the sounds and voices of the surrounding recruits started to taper off into white noise. Time slowed to a crawl.
The mammal that birthed him, who changed his diapers when he was a toddler, and who nursed him into the mammal he was today would no longer be a part of his life. Forever.
His mother was dead.
Shock numbed Edward's body. There was a hollow emptiness in his chest. Sharp pangs of regret tore through his abdomen, the memories tearing him asunder. He should have called back. Edward should have answered Alabaster's call when he dialed the first time. Instead, he sent him straight to voicemail.
Edward's semi-conscious body hit the floor before his phone could. Mammals flocked to his side, left and right.
The other recruits assumed Edward had either passed out or suffered a medical emergency. The truth was, he couldn't move. The Academy's nurse and several commanding officers came to his rescue after a certain rabbit informed them of the situation.
When the supervisors cleared the room of everyone else—not including Hopps, who was stood by a couple bunks down—Edward broke the news.
They first offered their condolences. The Major urged him to take time away from the Police Academy to sort out his affairs. But Edward refused. He was on the cusp of becoming the Valedictorian of his class. Exiting the Academy after coming so far would be career suicide; Precinct One was rightfully his, and everyone knew it.
Edward wouldn't be outshone again. Not by his geek brother, not by some random token bunny from the Burrows. No one.
Tomorrow marked his final test. The following week would be the graduation ceremony. Should he pass—if the funeral were on a Saturday—there would be no conflict with the scheduling. If he failed, he would be able to attend without issue. He just needed to keep up the hope that they wouldn't set the date for Friday.
Considering the mental compromisation, Edward was confident that there was no possibility of acing both the written and physical tests. Regardless, he had to try.
O O O
"As mayor of Zootopia, I am proud to announce that my Mammal Inclusion Initiative has produced its first police academy graduate.
"Valedictorian of her class, ZPD's first rabbit officer, Judy Hopps."
Those in attendance applauded and cheered as the lagomorph took the stage. The blaring mid-afternoon sun made her shine like a star. What a beautiful Friday to host the graduation ceremony.
Sat in the audience stage-left of the front row were the friends and family of the graduates in attendance. More than half of them were relatives of the soon-to-be Officer Judy Hopps.
Stood at attention near the front of the stage were the remaining graduates of their class, including a proudly sullen Edward Snow.
Two points. Two points from the written test separated Edward from the top. Beaten out by the bunny from the Burrows, no less. Judy Hopps conquered every obstacle thrown her way and excelled each time. There was no grudge to hold; she deserved every accolade imaginable for achieving her dream. Her family should've been proud, and they were.
Edward had no one to blame but himself.
Miles away from the comfort of the Academy, his mother would be laid to rest. And there he was, attending the graduation ceremony that would dictate the trajectory of his career.
Once the Mayor and Assistant Mayor concluded their pandering to the press and exited with the rabbit stage-right, the remaining graduates would receive their badges from the Major, and Edward Snow would officially become an officer himself.
In two weeks, the graduates' duty would bind them to different sections of the city proper—for Edward and Judy, more specifically, Precinct One, the main headquarters of the Zootopia Police Department.
Luckily for him, the planning for their eventual employment was taken care of a month in advance, thanks to the Valedictorian herself. Yes, she was that confident. Edward thought she was crazy. But, the investment payed off.
Both he and the lapine were aware of the lengths required to meet the ZPD's guidelines. Only a few select mammals make it to Precinct One straight from the Academy. Top marks were a requirement to be considered in the first place. Having just the physical attributes of a god or the intellect of a genius wasn't enough. You had to have both.
Judy easily squashed the dumb-bunny stereotype within her first week when "one hundred percent" became a gold standard for her. But, she had much to prove during the physical training exercises. In order for her superiors to see that she could keep up with others ten times her size, she needed help. Seeing how they grew up together, Edward was her first choice.
Being on the fútbol team, the physical requirements were a breeze for Edward. It was those damn tests that stumped him every time. Too many technicalities and a plethora of laws to remember. There was no way he would have been able to survive without some assistance, especially from somemammal he thought of as less-than many years ago.
Together, with a mutual goal in their sights and their differences aside, they combined their knowledge and crunched for the exams. Countless days of physical torture and endless nights of page-turning and note-taking later, they stood victorious. Edward even played a part in keeping their placement at Precinct One a surprise until she took to the stage. She looked so excited when Lionheart confirmed that her dreams were finally a reality.
There also came the matter of their living arrangements. Eventually, they settled on an apartment complex called the Grand Pangolin Arms. Small, inexpensive, and close to the Precinct. Adequate for a start in the big city. The complex had two medium-sized units available, which they could secure with a hefty down payment each. They had only to walk through the door and grab their keys, and then they would officially become residents of Zootopia.
Whenever he asked about compensation for her efforts, Judy always brushed off the praise. In her words, "it was the least she could do to keep them both on the right track."
Edward owed her everything for her compassion. After Alabaster's phone call, he didn't think graduating from the academy was possible. His head wasn't in the right place. No one in the barracks dared to offer anything other than their meek condolences. Then came Judy. She was there in a heartbeat to offer support to him. When the dust had settled, and their tests concluded, she wanted nothing in return.
Outmatched on the mental and moral front—what a gut punch. Part of him resented that he'd always be number two compared to her. Perhaps that was the reason he didn't truly appreciate her goodwill.
In the end, Edward achieved everything he'd dreamed of. He should have been elated. He should have been proud of his accomplishments and excited for the newest chapter of his life.
All he could think about was Charolete.
After almost missing his call to the stage, he puffed up his chest and stepped up to the Major with faux confidence.
Friedkin knew. She played along to keep face.
The badge Edward worked so feverishly to obtain was finally pinned to his chest. The Major and Officer Snow shared a formal, commemorative salute.
The lupine turned to face the crowd of mammals before him. Apart from the pawfull of members he knew personally from the Hopps-clan, all the audience was was just a sea full of strangers. None of the Snows were in attendance, and rightfully so.
"Your family would be proud of you, Snow," assured Major Friedkin.
The wolf maintained his shattered stoic silence.
O O O
"A-ten-hut!" Higgins announced.
The room burst with deep booms, stomps, and ruckus when Chief Bogo entered. Edward kept himself planted in his chair like a statue, quiet and obedient.
Since his mother's passing, Edward found that he didn't have the same energy as he did in college or his start in the Academy. He didn't fancy being among those rowdy individuals—the wrong crowd. Not anymore.
If his aim were to be promoted to detective and beyond, professionalism was key. All any of them would do was slow down his progression. Mouth shut, eyes forward.
"At ease," the cape buffalo ordered, taking the dais. "Everybody sit."
Every officer complied.
"Two items on the docket. Number one: The protests. Mammals participating have the right to exercise their freedoms but still abide by the same laws we do. Take care around hot zones, and protect civilians. Keep the peace.
"Finally, number two: The savage attacks. They're occurring far more frequently than expected—three this week alone. The uptick is causing strain on our T.U.S.K. units. That said, remember your training. Eyes and ears open. I want you back in this precinct in one piece by the end of your shifts. Do I make myself clear?"
Based on the other officers' unified reaction, crystal.
"This item is priority number one. Assignments:..."
Bogo gave a pause, bringing his readers to his snout.
"Officers' Snow, Johnson."
Both wolf and lion sat up at attention in their seats. First on the roll call. Unexpected, to say the least.
For Edward, being buried in two weeks of parking duty had barred him from partaking in any actual police work. Closer to their first days on the job, Edward would have assumed that he would have had Judy keep him company. But much had changed since their first day.
Judy became a superstar in less than a week. She risked her career and solved the Missing Mammals Case, then hosted her first-ever news conference—albeit rocking the foundations of Zootopia in the process—but he digressed. The more likely scenario was that she'd be assigned with Grizzoli again.
That reminded the wolf; Bogo had pulled the same stunt with them. Surely that would mean...
"You will be partners going forward. Get to know one another. Johnson," the chief called, waving a folder containing their assignments, "get the rookie up to speed. You'll be in Savannah Central."
"Yes, sir," the lion acknowledged lackadaisically with a nod, then stood to take his leave. Johnson wasn't about to send the wolf an invitation.
"Sir," Edward parroted with gratitude.
Bogo huffed indifference. Johnson accepted their folder at the dais and turned to the door.
The Chief carried on addressing the other officers in the room. "Hopps, Grizzoli, Downtown…"
'Speak of the devil,' the wolf quipped to himself.
The newly-appointed duo scampered out of the room and into the hallway. Away from prying eyes, Edward relaxed. Peace at last. He hated roll call.
Officer Johnson plucked out the key to his assigned cruiser from the folder and thumbed through the documents in the dossier. Edward tailed his partner to the best of his ability to surmise what information he could from the pamphlet.
Their pairing was going to be his chance to prove himself. Leaving anything on the table would be folly.
They were halfway down the hallway when the folder clamped shut, spooking Edward with a jump.
"Eager, aren't we?" Johnson smirked.
He read Edward like a book.
The lion continued, cutting the lupine off before he could give a spiteful reply. "Don't worry, no judgment here. Just a little hazing, that's all. I was the same way when I got my first assignment. If I knew any better, I'd doubt that you'll be looking over my shoulder for long. But don't get hasty. I'll break down this bad boy," he said, waving the folder, "when we get to our cruiser."
The wolf stifled a growl. Edward wasn't sure if Johnson was mocking him or coddling him. Not the best attempt as far as first impressions went, but not the worst.
After stopping by the armory to pick up their equipment for the day—tranq-gun, taser, pepper spray, cuffs, retractable baton, and radio—they walked out through the western entrance that led them to the Precinct's main parking lot. There housed the department's array of police cars. It didn't take long for the pair to locate their assigned vehicle, Cruiser 121.
Both climbed inside, Edward riding shotgun while Johnson took to the wheel. The more experienced officer was the first to let out a heavy breath.
"Pop quiz, rook," he said, inserting the keys into the ignition.
A twist of the lion's wrist brought the hefty vehicle to life. Meanwhile, Edward was listening intently.
"What do the three words on your badge say, and what do they mean?"
O O O
"Cruiser 121, 10-23 responding to 10-15."
Edward's ears flicked at the static of the radio transmission. He dialed in on the mention of the cruiser ID; Johnson's car. That last call was Hopps's voice. He'd nearly forgotten that they were stationed on a beat together in Happytown.
The radio sprang to life once more.
"10-4, 121," Clawhouser acknowledged.
The lupine allowed his lungs to release an airy breath and continued his surveillance. The engine's whine kept him company. Being alone on the Savannah Central beat wasn't the same without a partner. Was it wrong for him to wish that he were there with Johnson?
Hopps was a competent officer, and after dismantling a plot targeting the predator population in the city with nothing more than a fox—who was soon to become an officer himself—and a carrot pen, she commanded respect. And she sure as hell had his.
Edward had no grievances regarding Bogo's decision. However, there was still a matter of public opinion, and that concerned him.
Firstly: Judy's actions before her landmark discovery left some questioning the validity of her involvement with Bellwether.
Some would argue that the Academy falsified the rabbit officer's drills and test results. Major Friedkin made it prudent to debunk those claims the moment they surfaced personally. The Major held Officer Hopps in high regard—same as Edward. She highlighted the aptitude and tenacity displayed during her training, revealing the lengths the rabbit went to clear the baseline of the MII. In the polar bear's own words, "Hopps is one of the best and brightest she'd ever trained."
Others would label her an accomplice, given her statement regarding predators and the link to their "savage nature." The ZNN's report and her own comment summarized it best:
In the ZPD news conference following Bellwether's detainment, Chief of Police Adrian Bogo highlighted the efforts of Officer Judy Hopps, who set out to investigate the plot after the Missing Mammals press conference months prior. She apologized on the podium for mistakenly attributing predators' biology to the savage attacks, saying it was unjust."
Regardless of the minuscule percentage of the populace that would go against the court's rulings, the fact remained:
Judy Hopps was innocent.
That was that.
Zootopia's focus would, in time, turn away from the recently appointed face of the ZPD—as always, an ever-evolving environment in an ever-changing world.
Secondly: There was a growing issue regarding the flower that kickstarted Bellwether's plot. That item, in particular, scared Edward shitless. Countless arguments, vast amounts of reassurances.
The former Assistant Mayor's associates, Jesse Bleatmam, Doug Ramses, and Woolter White, were still at large six months after the fact. They were the creators of the Nighthowler serum. With Dawn out of the picture, who's to say they couldn't distribute and sell the drug—or its recipe—to the highest bidders?
After the verdict, two months was all it took for another attack to occur—
—Pop. Edward's body and ears jolted. Pop. Fireworks? At eight o'clock? Before a storm? Pop—pop, pop. Synapses were hard at work analyzing the sound. Edward rolled down the window to investigate. Whatever the bursts were, they weren't close, and they were loud.
Then he heard the call.
"10-78, 10-7—! Sho—f—red, shots fired! We need backup! We're pinned down!"
Judy.
Johnson.
Sirens and bright flashing lights flooded the walls of a Savannah Central alleyway as Edward's ZPD cruiser peeled out and tore up the streets. Pop.
"Hang tight, Judy," the cheetah dispatcher assured over the hot mic. "All available units, backup requested for the last 10-15! Shots fired! Mammals are armed and dangerous. Dispatching EMTs. Need all available units now!"
"Cruiser 141, responding," Edward spat frantic confirmation, adrenaline kicking in. He was the first to reply. Other cruisers parroted the same response but weren't paid any mind. The wolf was hyper-focused on getting to the firefight. Fast.
Edward couldn't waste precious brain power thinking about how mammals had somehow smuggled guns into the city. He couldn't think about the ramifications of the first gun-related incident in Zootopia in over twenty years. There were lives at stake. Judy's life. Civilians' lives. Johnson's life.
He needed to drive.
Streets and avenues flew left and right past Edward's cruiser as it approached near-top speeds. Though panicked and sloppy, pedestrian vehicles quickly swerved out of the way. No one that drove on Zootopia's roads dared to challenge its tank-like presence. Nothing would get in his way. He made that certain.
In just under fifteen minutes, Officer Snow was the first to arrive on the scene.
Unfortunately, he was five minutes too late.
Judy Hopps was the first mammal Edward saw after stepping out and away from his car. The rabbit officer met her horrified gaze with his.
The scene was a miniature warzone. Bullet holes riddled the passenger side of Johnson's cruiser as if it were swiss cheese. Small shards of glass peppered the tarmac and sidewalk. No one bothered to stick around.
Three mammals lay motionless on the ground near the steps of the townhome. Edward matched their descriptions provided by dispatch; an arctic fox, a badger, and a weasel. They were all unconscious, and had a tranq-dart sticking out from various places on their bodies. Despite the lack of tape quarantining the area and absence of support from their fellow mammals in blue, the scene was secure.
However, those minute details weren't relevant. Another pressing matter required immediate attention.
Judy was crouched beside another mammal. They were large, the lapine barely able to provide aid with how short she was. Her paws were soaked in crimson, as was the other mammal's torso. Edward could hear them struggling to breathe. Each draw was raspy, bated. That's when he locked eyes with them.
They were a lion, wearing the blues of the ZPD. Edward's heart sank, his form stumbling a step.
It was Johnson.
"No," muttered his disbelief.
The lupine broke into a full-blown sprint toward him. Edward prayed that the lion's injury wasn't severe.
Arriving to his right, Edward kneeled to face his partner. The wolf gave a once-over of Johnson's weak and battered body. Blood soaked his overalls and the ground beneath him. Scents of iron attacked the wolf's sensitive nose, the fragrance pungent and sickening to breathe. Edward was too afraid to speak.
Judy gave him the diagnosis before he could.
"His kevlar took the brunt of the damage," she said with labored, nasal breaths. It took her everything to keep herself lasered in on the moment. "But the armor broke through. We tried to reposition, b-but we couldn't. He took so many hits."
Then, a flash of realization.
"He saved my life," Judy muttered. Grief ripped her apart as she choked back tears.
"B-Bobby?" Edward stammered, staring into the distant browns of Johnson's eyes. "Can you hear me?"
The lion regained what little stamina he could muster and looked up to catch the wolf's gaze. He cracked a smile. "Eddy," the gentle cat whispered. "You came."
"Of course I did," Edward's voice cracked. "Someone had to come to your rescue."
"My knight in shining armor," he chuckled. "I don't know if there will be anything to save this time."
"Don't say that. EMTs are en route."
Edward shooed Judy's stained paw away and took his own into the feline's grip. Their combined strength held the gauze over his bloodied midsection in place. Johnson was weak. All Edward could do was cite his training and lean on the hope of survival.
"You'll make it, Bobby. Just try to stay focused. Keep putting pressure on that wound. Save your energy, don't fall asleep."
Johnson relaxed, eyelids fluttering towards unconsciousness. The lupine's other paw cupped the side of his partner's face before he could shut his eyes.
"Don't close your eyes. Stay awake; that's an order."
"Eddy, stop."
"No. There's still time—"
"Stop."
The wolf obeyed.
"I'd hate to be a pessimist, but look at my condition." Edward didn't want to. "I've already lost so much blood. By the time rescue arrives, it'll be too late. There's nothing more that you can do.
"It'll be okay."
The wolf's body began to shiver. Tears welled in his eyes like a flood. Believing Johnson was hard, but he was right; this was far from Edward's control. Johnson's time in this world was nearing its end.
"I still remember our first day together," Johnson smirked at the lupine. "You were so adamant about getting out on a beat. Look at you now, solo in Savannah Central? Not many get that opportunity. No doubt Bogo holds you in high regard. You're going to become a detective in no time."
He turned his head to Hopps while the wolf ignored the praise.
"Don't think that I've forgotten about you. You should have seen yourself out there. Despite them getting the jump on us, you handled the situation to perfection. There was nothing more you could have done. Don't beat yourself up."
Blood coughed up from his lungs.
"Do me a favor, Ms. Rockstar; keep breaking down those walls and keep inspiring change for the better. We need that determination now more than ever."
"I… I will," she nodded, voice cracking and water falling just the same.
"Good," the cat grinned. "Good."
Johnson turned his head to get a good look at both of them and said, "Zootopia couldn't have produced better officers. I couldn't be prouder."
The lion then pointed his semi-focused gaze to Edward. The canid stared longingly into his partner's eyes.
"Eddy," the wolf's nickname sparkled. Even on death's door, the lion sounded angelic. "You've made me the happiest mammal alive. I'm so happy to've met you. I'm sorry I have to leave you behind." Happy tears welled in his eyes. "I love you. So, so much."
The wolf struggled to mouth the words through his sobbing. But he managed, with the faintest of whispers, "I love you, too."
Trickles of rain began falling from the sky and onto the crime scene.
"Look, hon," Johnson called out kit-like to the lupine, his breathing worsening, eyes darting back and forth between him and the sky, "it's raining. Just how you like it."
Between sobs, Edward couldn't tear his eyes away from a fading Johnson.
The corners of the feline's mouth rose into his loving smile.
"Look." The dying lion insisted with glee.
Johnson pointed Edward's gaze toward the grey-clouded sky with his golden-furred paw. This time, the wolf didn't fight it.
The sprinkling grew more intense, evolving into a light rain, blissful and magnificent against the warmth of the late August air. Scents of earth and worms overcame the harsh fragrance of iron and stolen life. Sounds of water hitting metal and cement created a wonderful ambiance while distant flashes of lightning filled the clouds to the west behind them. Around them, the cityscape and the looming towers of the downtown area.
By Edward's standards, despite the commotion growing around them and the distant sirens drawing nearer, it was a nearly perfect picturesque setting. Peaceful, even.
Bobby agreed.
"What a view."
Johnson's paw slowly lost its strength and fell slack in the lupine's grip. Edward tore his eyes away from the weather and returned to his partner.
"Bobby?" Edward quivered, locked in stunned silence, waiting for a reply that would never come. He began petting his partner's mane to garner some reaction. "Bobby, wake up."
Nothing.
"Babe, please," he begged. "You can't do this. You can't!" Silver-furred paws took a tight hold of the dead officer's body armor and violently shook him, "Bobby, please! Stop fucking with me and wake the fuck up!"
Edward could do nothing.
Limp against the walled fence of a Happytown townhome, lay Bob Johnson. Killed in the line of duty at thirty-one years of age, protecting one of his own. Although the light had since faded from his eyes, the lion looked happy, at peace with himself.
O O O
Another storm was leaden over the city of Zootopia. Lightning rippled through the veil of leaves beyond the reaches of the monstrous trees of the Rainforest District. Torrential downpours of natural rain dissuaded most mammals from taking to the sidewalks—which typically meant more traffic on the roads. On that particular night, those winding streets were barren. No mammals, no cars, just empty tarmac. For the ZPD, the conditions couldn't be better.
Time played a huge factor when it came time to answer emergency calls. All it takes is one slow car, or one jay-walking pedestrian to throw the scales out of balance.
An undercover police car sped through the lush roads, its lupanic driver allowing the wipers, headlights, and sirens to grant him every opportunity of clarity. With a 10-46 and the life of a civilian on the line, time was of the essence.
Detective Edward Snow let out a breath after executing a near-perfect high-speed turn. Alone in his car, he was one of the only officers in the immediate vicinity. Responding to a call of this nature was critical. He would have to utilize all his training to save this mammal. But Edward wasn't worried.
He was in control.
Thanks to a clear path and impeccable driving, the Detective didn't take long to reach Vine Road's Gondola Access Path.
Locals native to the District rarely used the Vine platform because it loomed high above the District's river transit hub. Those who utilized the ancient transportation—hailing mainly from the Meadowlands, northwest, where the system began—would use it as a passthrough to get to the city proper. Though slower and older than the metro, it was one of the only free options available to the public twenty-four hours a day. The only caveat to such affordable accessibility lay in its innate design. Inclement weather throughout the year would determine its operation window, and that night was no exception.
Due to the risk of natural lightning strikes, compared to the artificial ones controlled by light to replicate stormy conditions, the natural storm that fell over the city would cause the gondola system's deactivation for the nighttime crowds.
Parking his car in the lot connecting to the path, Edward announced his arrival and ascent via the radio.
Dispatch was quick to remind Edward that the suspect was wanted for questioning regarding an active case. He didn't care. It wasn't his case. Other units would arrive soon to handle that mess, but he would have to be the mammal to make the initial contact to de-escalate the situation.
Exiting the comfort of his car reintroduced the wolf to the crisp temperate air typical of Spring. He figured with June around the corner, it would have been colder. The Climate Walls could only do so much against the will of Nature. He couldn't help but remember Bobby at that moment, who'd often complain about the humidity. It had been well over a year since Happytown at that point, three months to the day of the second anniversary. He still missed him.
Edward allowed the nostalgia trip to dissipate and looked upward at the path that lay ahead of him. Considering how long it took to drive to the access path, he hoped he wasn't too late.
And, so, up he climbed.
Creaking wood squeaked over the ambient pittering and pattering of the leaves and vines surrounding the detective. Among that peaceful chatter was something entirely different, though not foreign.
Who are you to be hopeful when you can't offer that same sentiment to yourself?
What if you can't bring him back?
You might as well join him.
The lupine shook away the demons clawing away at his insecurities and strengthened his resolve.
Edward spent months investigating everything from petty theft to homicide—more from the latter nowadays. He'd helped others find closure when nothing else could.
He would save this mammal. There was no way that he'd lose them. They wouldn't end up like Johnson.
Edward took massive steps to save the most time at the cost of his safety. Like many of the District's GAPs, guardrails were commonly absent from their design to maintain the natural integrity of the landscape. Falling was a real danger if he made the wrong move. Thankfully, his dangerous gamble paid off, allowing him to reach the top steps in less than a minute.
At the peak of the gnarled causeway, a plethora of hanging leaves obscured the path and Edward's vision of the platform ahead. The lack of vision troubled him. If not for the risk of the suspect wielding a weapon, the knowledge of them being on the gondola platform entirely. He couldn't rely on his sense of smell because of the rainfall either—too many unknowns.
And there was something else.
The canid could feel a loud rumbling through the wooden board below his feet to his right. Propped up against the side of the wood was a smartphone. Its screen was cracked in places but appeared functional. Someone was attempting to reach it.
Edward shrugged it off and noted it. The screen was too dim to make out anything anyway—something to collect for later.
After drawing the tranq-gun from his holster, the lupine reached for the radio clipped to his trench coat, turned down the volume low enough for him to hear, and called it in.
"Snow to Dispatch," he spoke softly, soft enough to hear himself over the rain and loud enough for the microphone to pick up his voice the first time, "about to make contact with the 10-46. I've got foliage blocking my vision. Who else is responding?"
"Wilde to Snow," the officer replied, less of a clown than his normal state, "Hopps and I are en route. ETA is three minutes."
Edward frowned, kicking himself for asking in the first place. With the climb, that would make four to five minutes. Knowing the fox's other half would be listening in, he took a breath and kept it professional.
"Copy, keep me posted. Making contact now."
Detective Snow utilized the body of the tranq-gun to bat away the leaves blocking the path and revealed the loading platform ahead. He took a beat to absorb his surroundings.
Rain was falling heavier than before. Lightning ripped through the sky, and distant thundering booms rumbled the tropical landscape. Water poured off the stained wood planks that made up the flooring, creating a treacherous, slick, icy surface to pass.
Thanks to the efforts of City Hall—and the urgency of a particular rabbit officer—their commissioning and installation of paw-pad-destroying anti-slip tape made falling a near impossibility for predator and prey alike. Although helpful for his approach, it wouldn't matter for the mammal at risk.
At the edge of the platform stood a sole mammal. Tall and slim, the being's hunched form was foreboding as they looked out and upwards toward the sky, taking in every droplet of rain that blessed their maw. If not for the long, skinny tail tucked and wrapped around their ankles, Edward could have sworn they were about to initiate a howl.
Black stripes and ginger made up the mammal's fur, confirming their species to be a tiger—male, according to dispatch's description. The feline wore worn, ragged clothing as if he'd come straight from a shelter. Both of his paws were empty.
There was another detail about the tiger, something important that Edward couldn't put his claw on. Perhaps when the feline didn't have his back turned, the Detective could discern what that other factor was.
The wolf lowered his weapon—time to start.
"Sir," Edward addressed, announcing his presence. The tiger tensed. "My name's Edward Snow. I'm a detective with the ZPD. I'm here to help."
The tiger's ears perked, paused, and fell further behind his head.
"And what makes you think you can help me, Eddy?" he rasped.
Eddy? Panic caused his tail to tuck itself between his legs.
No one had called him that in a long time. Only two mammals in the Zootopia-state area outside his family dared to call him that—and one was dead.
"Charlie?" came a sharp whisper.
"In the flesh," he confirmed. Charles turned his body to meet Edward face-to-face.
Of all the scenarios Detective Snow could have predicted, running into the mammal from his youth that he spent years tearing down was the last thing he could have expected.
This was far worse than the worst case. Edward was already fighting a losing battle. Confidence waned, and soon his professionalism dissolved into crippling anxiety. Fuck his years of training. That got thrown out the window. He felt like some helpless pup.
"H-How are things? I didn't know that you had moved to Zootopia—"
"Edward," Charles cut off, "I think we're way past the point of small talk."
"How so?" a meek wolf inquired desperately to buy time.
"You're really asking me that?" Charles countered.
Detective Snow tip-toed forward mid-sentence. The feline was quick to stop him.
"Stay back," he ordered with eerie calm, feet inching closer to the edge. "Don't come any closer."
"Alright," Edward conceded, emphasizing a twinge closer to a desperate plea than he preferred. After holstering the tranq-gun that was still in his grip, he repeated, calmer, "Alright. Then let's talk, at least. What's brought you out here tonight?"
"Oh, you are serious. Even after everything you've done to me? Can't say I expected more, honestly," the cat shook his head. "And here I thought you actually paid attention to me. How kind of you to finally take an interest."
The flummoxed canid ran loops in his mind, and the feline, watching him unravel, humored the investigative question.
"Why don't we start with how you tormented me all throughout elementary and middle school? Or how about in high school when you lied about your feelings so you could get closer to me? I still remember what you said: 'I only bullied you because I've been in love with you since we were pups.' I can't believe I fell for that. Shows you how pathetic I am really; just another lovestruck idiot in the end."
He huffed away a stream of tears.
"Despite everything, I was nothing but honest with you. You saw the shitty hand life dealt me; my mother, my nonexistent father, not to mention my school-life. You saw what my mom did to me. She beat the living shit out of me. But you took advantage of me anyway."
Charles's despair broke his shattered voice.
"How could you? I gave you everything. My heart, my trust, my love—all of it. I honestly thought you were the one. I was so blind trying to believe what we had was real, that you could save me. That we could help each other. Love each other. But that's not reality. I should've known it was too good to be true. I guess I deserved what was coming to me."
"I—"
"But, wait, it gets better! You know how we all graduated and went our separate ways? Well, the only other friend I'd ever known left for college while I was stuck wallowing in the Burrows!" The tiger exaggerated a fake-laugh at his punchline. "Hilarious, right? Meanwhile, I was scrapping for cash wherever I could to escape my shitty home life! Wake up, eat, work, go home, get beat, and sleep—what fun! That cycle made up my whole life. Can you imagine living that hell, day in, day out?"
"No—"
"No is right, you entitled prick!" Charles screamed, sorrow erupting from his vocal cords. "The only reason I managed to escape to Zootopia was your parents bailing me out in the first place!"
The shock of that bombshell rippled through Edward's features.
"Yeah, bet you didn't know that one, did you? But, then again, how could you? You were so busy chasing your wild fantasy that you'd completely abandoned whatever friends you had left and the mammals that raised you. The things that I would have done to have what you had."
Charles steadied himself with a calming breath. He peered at Edward after a momentary grimace, then aimed his reflection back to the ground.
"Sorry, I'm getting off-track," he sighed. "I ended up running away. I had to. I couldn't take it anymore. The only mammals that I could trust were your folks. Your family gave me everything I could've asked for; a bed to sleep in, food to eat, a stable income—something that felt like home. When I was ready, they gave me a small sum of money on top of what I'd earned and helped move me to Zootopia. Nothing grand, just a place to crash. It didn't take long for me to find another job. Wasn't much, but enough to get by. I caught up with Sharla and even found someone too. I didn't feel like a burden for the first time in a long time. I had friends, and a family, even if we weren't related by blood. I felt normal. Life was worth living."
The radio clipped onto the lupine's coat chimed to life, sharp static pouring through the speaker. A voice soon followed.
"Wilde and Hopps to Snow, 10-61, one minute out."
Oblivious to the communications device, after a beat, the tiger continued his solemn rant.
"Then it all started to fall apart. My mother died. Your mother died—her funeral was lovely, by the way. I discovered that my boyfriend had been smuggling money from my personal account to fuel his addictions. After confronting him about it, he planted drugs in my work bag, called the cops on me—which got me wrongfully fired—and couldn't find another employer. No one wants to hire a convicted drug addict nowadays, it seems. So, I got evicted. All of that happened within three months. I gave up at some point. I crawled back into my ex's arms, and got offered a job by your brother, of all mammals. I failed him by a spectacular margin too. Now, I'm here, stuck in an even worse situation than before."
Edward looked horrified. Charles wasn't satisfied.
"Do you know what I realized after living in a constant hell all this time? My being is a catalyst for self-destruction. I ruin everything I touch; it's the only thing I'm good at."
It was scary how definitive Charles made that sound. Something he resonated with, ten-fold.
"So, Detective Snow," Charles spat with vicious scorn, "What have you come here to do? What could you say to sway me from my only option left?"
Heartbeats pounded in the lupine's ears. None of the moisture that fell from the sky could save the dryness that enveloped Edward's mouth. Time was running out.
He swallowed a lump in his throat and aimed for the stars. Give him a lifeline. Anything to make him stay just that little bit longer. The truth.
"Nothing I could do now could compensate for what I've done to you. I wasn't there for you. I took advantage of you. There's nothing I can say or do to change that. But you underestimate my family's compassion. Whatever you did, or whatever you've done, I'm sure it can be forgiven. They'll take you in. They can take care of you."
"And what makes you so sure of that?"
"Because they're good mammals, like you."
"That's rich," the feline scoffed, stealing the wolf's trademark counter. "After all these years, I don't think you have the confidence to treat that as fact. You don't know me. You don't know them either anymore."
Charles's eyes trained themselves toward the platform's entrance. Two pairs of footfalls arrived on the scene. All it took was a hiss from the suspect to cease their advance.
Once assured of the other officers' compliance, he took a soured and painful look back to the Detective.
"You know what hurts the most? The fact that only after I've hit rock bottom that you decide to care. What happened to all of that gusto, Eddy? I thought you wanted to be strong?"
"I don't know," choked a meek wolf.
"Figures," Charles choked.
Tears flowed freely from the feline, mixing with the water covering his fur.
"I loved you. I cherished you." Then came a snarl. "But you threw me away. You threw your family away. You threw it all away. You think you're so invincible, so strong. I know who you are, Edward Varian Snow. Deep down, I know you care. You just refuse to show it. Shame I couldn't see that side of you in the end."
Edward tensed. Charles took an inviting look into the depths.
"Charles, please," Edward begged, successfully stopping him. "Come back to the Precinct with us. I promise that we'll get you the care you need. But you need to step away from the platform."
"No," came his finality. "You made your choice years ago. You didn't give a shit when I begged you to understand, to stay with me. You still don't care now."
"Please!" Edward cried out as the tiger took a look back into the abyss. "Don't do this! I can't lose anyone else. You're all I have left!"
Charles looked him dead in the eye.
"So were you."
The feline stretched his arms outward, eyes rolled to the back of his head, and against the pleas from the other two officers, fell backward into the bottomless pit below.
Lightning struck the sky, the bright flash reflecting off the rain soaked leaves and trees. It was like magic. Charles was there for one second, then gone the next.
Thunder roared through the air and shook the earth and wood beneath his feet. Edward, cursed with the gift of brilliant hearing, could pinpoint the exact moment of impact.
Charles was gone.
Back on the platform, Edward stood, arm and paw outstretched in front of him as if he could will the mammal he once knew back.
Edward's heart fell into his stomach. Both of his knees gave way first, his arms nearly failing to catch his torso from hitting the planks below his feet. His chest ached.
You deserve this.
Hitched breaths caught in the wolf's throat until he could hold back his emotions no longer.
Edward took the deepest pained breath he could. What followed next was the most agonizingly unhinged scream that any of the officers had ever heard.
O O O
The silver wolf awoke from his nightmare with a sharp inhale, jolting upright from where he lay on the bed. His claws dug and ripped into the fabric of the blanket laid across his torso while his lungs took several deep, pained breaths to work him back toward the clutches of reality.
Edward was safe in his small, old, poorly decorated apartment and lay on the same rickety bed, like always.
The room reeked of musk and alcohol from an eventful night before. Who was it? Predator or prey? Male or female? Neither? Both? Who knew? He couldn't remember. Nor did he care.
Looking to the left of him, he located his alarm clock. It read twenty-three minutes past four. Per his newly adjusted schedule—ordered by the commanding cape buffalo himself—it was under an hour before he was scheduled to arise.
Pent-up air and a pained groan freed itself from Edward's chest. Arhythmic pounding pulsated like a drum in his temples.
Today was the day, whether he liked it or not. He wasn't ready.
Three months had passed since the incident. All that time spent trying to forget… his face, what they said, and everything that had transpired. Did he truly understand the implications of his actions? The sleepless nights, drinking, and ravaged body begged to differ.
The night prior wasn't any different. At least, Edward thought it was. He couldn't remember much, but he felt like shit. The good news was that he hadn't startled himself awake with his screams this time.
Edward maneuvered his nude body out of the blankets' warm clutches and sat at the edge of the bed with a hunch. Familiarizing himself with the worn and scratched floorboards for the umpteenth time, he dared to peek at the items he knew full well lay atop the room's dresser.
The first was a revolver. Polished steel shone a reflection of the coming morning's gleam, kissing Edward's retinas with dim orange.
The second was his police badge. It was standard, practical; a pleather-bound cover with a silver beaded chain laced at the top. Flipped open, the exposed metallic shield taunted him, mocking his existence with its presence.
Edward turned his head away in shame.
One of the ZPD's finest, reduced to a sad, hungover, lustful stupor. What a waste. The tabloids would make easy work of him, no doubt.
Edward arose from the bedside like a walker and stumbled a couple of steps toward the dresser. Coming to a stop in front of the drawers, he ignored the shield and stared inquisitively at the destructive hunk of steel resting atop the right side.
The apartment faded. Loud beats pulsated in his ears. For a moment, the wolf wasn't there.
Fragmented memories of orange and black attacked his subconscious. Their high school. The fall. Then, darkness.
How quickly he was reminded of his own fickle existence.
The friends and family he had were gone. Lost to his stubbornness. It felt hopeless to want them back at all. He didn't deserve anything from them.
To be honest, it was hard to discern if anything was worth it anymore.
Was it?
Contemplation piqued. Questions Edward never thought imaginable swirled. Silver digits twitched.
Was he strong enough?
Edward's body began moving of its own volition. His mind was acutely aware of what it desired and the wrath it was capable of.
A silver-white paw hovered over the weapon. The apartment went quiet. Edward's heart pounded loudly in his chest. He stopped breathing.
Beat.
Beat...
Desolation—as quick as it had consumed the wolf—retreated. Soft buzzes of noises and clatters from the other units surrounding Edward slowly brought themselves back into focus. Fatigue escaped his body with a set of deep, labored breaths.
No, he wasn't.
Edward frantically picked up the gun's body with a nearby towelette and a safe claw grip. Verifying the safety twice over, he banished it into a box under lock and key into the top left drawer of his dresser—where it belonged.
The silver lupine stood motionless for a moment. Had he just done that; considered that?
Edward felt weak. He felt sick. Each of his limbs felt as if they'd been tied down with dumbbells. His stomach yearned to empty its nonexistent contents as bile rose up into his throat, but he dared not allow it.
Swallowing the vile lump, Edward gently clasped the police badge and shuffled back towards the bed's edge. He sat and stared at the words inscribed, his thumb caressing the raised sections of metal as they stared back at him.
Trust, Integrity, Bravery, they said. He remembered Johnson asking him what they meant to him. Seemed like yesterday.
The lupine could feel the shattered remains of his heart decaying.
With every tender moment and every precious second recalled, a wave of crippling sadness overcame him. Whenever he thought about Bobby too hard, he'd circle back to that fateful night in Happytown. His mind wouldn't let him forget.
The foreign undergarments at the foot of his bed didn't improve his situation either. They—unlike the ones before—became something impossible to ignore, and only served to make things worse.
He felt disgusting and disloyal, unworthy of everything he'd worked so hard for.
"Dammit," the floodgates burst in silent torrent. The weary wolf wiped at his watery eyes.
Sunlight crept over the buildings of the cityscape outside his window and flooded into his apartment. The rays of warmth caressed the ice-cold body of the shivering canid.
The dawn of a new day had arisen.